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289 thoughts on “The Things That Women Do That Can Cause Boyfriends To Lose Interest In Them”

  1. Avatar

    Katie

    November 27, 2013 at 6:45 am

    Hi Chris,

    I’ve messaged you before and I liked your advice so I’m back. Also, sorry in advance for the length of this comment. I’m the one whose ex left me for my coworker. I’m sure I’m not the first woman you’ve talked to whom this has happened to, so that may be a stupid memory jogger. Haha. I have a different question now involving a new guy.

    This one is my supervisor. I know, I know, but I can’t help it. About two and a half months ago we had a fling. I had known him for a while before that and I could tell he was into me but I had a boyfriend at the time. Right after my ex and I broke up he invited me to hang out. He wanted to have sex but I didn’t go for it because I was heartbroken over my previous year-long relationship that had just ended. We fooled around but didn’t do the actual deed because I wasn’t ready.

    Anyway, I foolishly told a coworker about our liaison and pretty soon the entire workplace knew about it. Then he stopped talking to me because he was afraid of losing his job. Now that time has passed and it’s been five months since I broke up with my ex I’m ready to have fun again. I’ve really started to develop a crush on the supervisor, but it seems that he’s lost interest.

    When he first pursued me I was hard to get… not because I was playing games but because I was emotionally unavailable and still focused on my ex. He kept persisting to hang out and flirted with me all the time but I wasn’t too into it given my heartbreak. Now that I’ve had months to get over my ex though I’ve developed a renewed crush on this supervisor. Recently I’ve acted giddy around him, sent sexual texts/pics, and he’s caught me staring several times. I don’t know what happened but I can’t keep it cool around him like I used to! It used to be so easy for me to be myself and not give away my attraction to him because I wasn’t attached. I’ll admit that now I probably come off as desperate to him. Not over-the-top or creepy, but it must be obvious to him that I like him.

    That being said, do you think it’s possible to recapture his interest or is it too late? He’s still my supervisor and he got freaked out that people found out we were hooking up. Do you think he’d be willing to risk a new fling with me? I learned my lesson and wouldn’t tell anyone at work. To be honest I’d be fine with just casual sex, which is what I think he wanted in the first place. I think he got deterred because employees found out and because I started acting desperate. If he only sees me as a booty call would he be dtf again or just move on? Have you ever gotten re-interested in a hookup? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    1. admin

      admin

      November 27, 2013 at 8:24 pm

      I have never booty called anyone in my life. Never had a one night stand sooo… I really can’t speak to a mans mind on it.

  2. Avatar

    Aimee Garbett

    November 24, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    Hey Chris. I need your help…me and my ex broke up properly nearly 3 years ago but have remained on and off since then. We have a three year old son together. About 3 weeks ago it came out that he’s had a girlfriend since march this year, I never knew about her. I asked him numerous times if he met someone but he denied he hadn’t. His new gf face booked me asking if anything had gone on between him and me, it had ( because I didn’t know about them). My ex had also told my mother that he wants to come back as a family and had been email me the same thing before I had found out about his new girlfriend. Its been an emotional mess, hes lied to me and the girl. He told he had never cheated but he has, he told her we never had contact with each other. We near enough always have in one way or another. He reckons he loves us both but wouldnt admit to me that he wants to be with her and he wouldnt admit to her that he only loves me for my son. I feel really hurt and am trying to make sense of it all. I don’t think he does love me but not sure why he has never informed me of his gf who he loves. What do I do x

    1. admin

      admin

      November 25, 2013 at 7:07 pm

      Well maybe he was scared to inform you of the new girl… b/c of how you might react.

  3. Avatar

    Evelyn

    November 18, 2013 at 6:09 pm

    Did NC for month like I really ignored him it was the hardest thing to do in my life but as the days went on it actually made me feel allittle better about seeing his msg nearly the end of NC. he even called Asked a friend about me little stuff like that! I didn’t even say happy birthday I’m sure he was angry too.. So the day came when I had to Text back went well he replied went through the steps but..I think I rushed it to fast the convo was just all mixed up I tried to end it and he would txt back like “let’s go out right now I was obviously dressed up ready to head out somewhere when I had txt him “nice talking to you goodbye”then he would txt me something like that I was obiously desperate to see him.. fail,so we went out to the movies eveything went AMAZING felt like our first date gave us good memories felt so happy! But he started to act angry,started saying mean things and kinda scared me this was towards the end of our date so I tired to ignore it all my feelings went down like I felt so dumb for actually not waiting allittle longer but I was there already! He just completely went from LOVE TO EVIL! I was so sad eveything I did I tried so hard for this I was in tears back home! So I gave him couple days he gave positive replys and so on nice txt but then again boom he’s just back to that guy being rude txt me bad ignoring me,now like I’m so over it I really wanted to fix this I know he’s still angry I can feel it,it’s just been a week that we had started to talk I’m really looking foward to fix and try again and come back even stronger! because I really want something with him in this life,just that all his negative words break eveything she’s always mad calling me names if I see him or something he will act nice but then boom just sucks hate that I love him still and it’s going to be a year broken up this DEC like this hole year we were just friends with benefits seriouly :(,i was with him for almost 4years things went bad we just got to attached fel in love to fast now were both out there same city partying having fun just not cool at the same time cause he’s always around! So idk what to really do here :he’s still angry :Iknow he will txt me again : I know we still care about each other : I’m just tired of all this NC again should I give home couple more days take it easy txt him back again? idk pretty lost here I know he will txt me just that he’s still mad and angry about eveything

    1. admin

      admin

      November 19, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      Yes you shouldn’t have to go back into NC for 30 days. Just at the max give it a week or so if he isn’t responsive.

  4. Avatar

    Jennifer

    November 17, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    Hi Chris!
    My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago and I’m slowly recovering. In the beginning, everything was good but I always seemed to bring up the past because he cheated on me before. When he cheated on me, I took all contact of him out of my until three years later I saw him again. I knew wanted to be with and try it out but I think I came into the relationship with the wrong reasons. I still had insecurities from the past and I think that’s what broke our relationship. I was too insecure and I always liked to fight with him. I wanted him to always prove to me, “why did you leave me for her.” Now that were broken up, I can see the mistakes I’ve done in this relationship and I truly want him back! I care about him a lot and this time I want to actually show him that I’m ready to be loved. The past is the past. Do you think hell consider coming back. I’m focusing on myself right now but I just feel like our relationship is not done yet. I’m not giving up until I get him back. What are your thoughts on my situation?

    1. admin

      admin

      November 18, 2013 at 5:34 pm

      I think there is a possibility and you are doing the right thing by focusing on yourself right now.

    2. Avatar

      Jennifer

      November 18, 2013 at 7:50 pm

      Do you think I should just leave it alone and let him be. I haven’t contacted him at all since he broke up with. I just don’t want to hold on hope if you think there is a just a possibility.

    3. admin

      admin

      November 19, 2013 at 5:54 pm

      No I think you should give it a try and if you continually fail then move on but right now you just need to keep the faith and focus your energies inwards.

    4. Avatar

      Jennifer

      November 23, 2013 at 3:18 am

      Hey chris! I’m doing good so far. I’m really engaging my time and priorities on myself right now. Which is making me feel very great about myself. I forgot to mention, the day after he broke up with me, my best friends told me to block him on instagram. That’s the only social network thing I have. Was it a bad idea to do that? I thought it was a good/bad idea. I unfollowed him because I just wasn’t ready to keep trying to look on his IG, so I did what I had to do to have avoid that temptation. I don’t want to unblock him now.. I think thatll seem desperate. I’m just curious because does that show him I want nothing to do with him. Those were not my intentions at all, I was just doing us both a favor. I just feel he won’t even try to contact me at all knowing that I blocked him. Btw, my sisters follow him and vice versa so that’s his only way of keeping to update what’s going on with me. But I’m not purposely going to take pics with my sister so he can see, that’s kind of obvious to me. What do you think I should do? Unblock him now or wait till he reaches out to me. Idk if the reply thing worked so I decided to leave a new comment. I’m the same Jennifer at the bottom.

    5. admin

      admin

      November 23, 2013 at 7:50 pm

      Wait till he reaches out I would say.

  5. Avatar

    Kim

    November 16, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    My ex just wants to be friends. I realized ive been doing all this during our 9 months. It’s been a month on limited contact and he is still not interested. what should i do??

    1. admin

      admin

      November 17, 2013 at 6:56 pm

      Have you tried full NC on him?

  6. Avatar

    Anonymous

    November 14, 2013 at 7:31 am

    Thanks so much for your guides! They are so helpful! 🙂 I wondered if you could elaborate more in a guide about how to show a guy you are interested without messing up the whole push-pull dynamic? I’m also interested in what it takes for a man to feel emotionally and mentally connected to a woman in a relationship. What is that “thing” that guys have to feel to want to commit to you? At this point, although it would be nice, my main focus is not on getting my ex back. I just want to improve these things for the benefit of my next relationship (with whomever that may be) while I’m spending my time in NC. 12 days and going strong! 😉 Thanks again!

    1. admin

      admin

      November 14, 2013 at 7:37 pm

      I will put it on the “to do” list.

  7. Avatar

    Lisa

    October 27, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    Hi chris, sorry to bother you on ever post.. but same lisa and I was wondering when I was reading through this post that i have maybe 6 out of 7 of those sins :'( is it a bad idea to write him a letter to apologise for everything including the cancer thing i lied about and finally release my conscious or is it a bad idea to write him a letter once we hang out and begin to be normal friends again?

    I’m planning on doing this after my birthday, 22nd of november ask him to come over and get him to read my letter then go and have some fun at arcade or something, but just to let him know I am sorry for all the wrong doings and maybe he can finally be at peace, and tell him this isn’t dragging it on, it is simply clearing the air? what do you think!?

    1. admin

      admin

      October 27, 2013 at 10:53 pm

      Hahah the fact that you want to write him a letter makes me laugh b/c I wrote anonther post about why letters are usually never a good idea.

      I think clear the air after NC.

    2. Avatar

      Lisa

      October 30, 2013 at 4:38 am

      Hi chris I was wondering, by him doing the chasing and following the logical cliff hanger and QBT method… doesn’t he first have to be INTERESTED to chase? He says he cares about me a lot… so would me playing hard to get work even if he isnt interested in chasing? 🙁

      but I wont look easy and wait until he ends conversation or be available, i’ll be off and on and unpredictable. Would guys care if their once ex gf was always available and replying fast with emotion .. to me suddenly going off saying im busy then come back in 3 hrs time but then talk for a bit and go bed? Would you care?

    3. admin

      admin

      October 30, 2013 at 9:17 pm

      Yes, guys would pick up on it if their exes were always replying very fast and it is a sign that you really want him bad (which usually lowers your value in his eyes.)

      That is kind of what I was trying to get at with the QBT method. Being unpredictable.

    4. Avatar

      Lisa

      October 31, 2013 at 4:08 am

      why is it deep down i know my ex bf will come back but not right now, i mean to say it, why is it that everyone thinks he just needs time and space to cool off from all the drama and stress of exams and when he goes away to China he will have another 2 months to study and think??? Deep down I think he got sick of everything and because my appearance changed he wasnt as attracted so lost spark… but once he sees me and gets interested or emotionally connected again will he be happy or sad to see me?

      Also will him seeing me maybe 3 times before he goes away and i make a good impression of my new looks, how I dont play easy to get etc, will that help him see me in a new light?

    5. admin

      admin

      October 31, 2013 at 7:41 pm

      Well luckily, appearance is something (that while it may take some time) you can work on and improve.

    6. Avatar

      Lisa

      November 1, 2013 at 2:00 am

      okay thank so much, today is his last day of university for the year and now has exams in the next 2 weeks, so i think he will either talk to me in 2-3 weeks!

      But when we ended things on sep 25th and it was like a fun ending, having lunch and playing on the arcade and him texting me while on the bus saying “well ill talk to you real soon lisa, you be stron i will too, tell me when your home so i can stop worrying and you owe me free dessert and a win in the car racing game 😉 ” …. this was from him when we broke up on that day and him going home… but because I went behind his back and dragged this on for 2 weeks he got mad and told me we can only be friends etc but then he came over 2 days later and he said if we are meant to be(if his feelings come back he said) we are, but no future now, i dont know what will happen but just not now because of the problems between us; So i don’t understand, when we are having fun and even though its us breaking up that day and i was on board and agreed to it he seemed proud of me but when he came over to my house and i was begging and crying.. he got turned off.

      Do I just have to be my bubbly, fun, teasing self in order for him to care more because if i get emotional he will feel awkward?

    7. admin

      admin

      November 1, 2013 at 6:30 pm

      Really? Today is the last day of school for you guys?

      Bubbly, fun and teasing are all good qualities. BUT also take a look at the ungettable girl post I created.

    8. Avatar

      Lisa

      October 31, 2013 at 4:05 am

      so regardless of guys not being interested or not, if they start to talk to you after they are ready and you still do the push/pull and not play easy will that affect him? because no one likes being ignored/rejected?

    9. admin

      admin

      October 31, 2013 at 7:40 pm

      I think a little push/pull can be a good thing but it all has to do with how well you can pull it off.

    10. Avatar

      Lisa

      October 28, 2013 at 3:56 am

      but this letter is just an apology of my wrong doing? and how his been bottled everything in and kept it all inside him, i know what you mean but he never told me anything and we never discussed our issues properly, I’m finally manning up and want him to see what went wrong so we can start fresh.

      and of course I’m only showing him this letter after he talks to me! not before NC.

    11. admin

      admin

      October 29, 2013 at 2:01 am

      I understand that but I wouldn’t apologize until after NC and in person apologies are always better in my opinion.

    12. Avatar

      Lisa

      October 29, 2013 at 2:54 am

      do you believe in, once you have an emotional connection with someone… even if you dont like that in that way there will always be something for them especially nearly a 3 year relationship?

      I know he still cares about me a lot but deep down doesn’t want to admit he might be missing me but his glad the stress and everything is gone.. so maybe in an aspect he wanted a breakup so when we start again as friends it’ll be exciting/new and the spark will be fresh again?

      do I even make sense? because in his letter he told me 3 weeks ago, that he just couldnt take it anymore and it got too much for him thus the break up.

    13. admin

      admin

      October 30, 2013 at 3:38 am

      Yes I do. There are exceptions to every rule but if you establish an emotional connection it will always be there.

    14. Avatar

      Lisa

      October 29, 2013 at 2:52 am

      yeah I will give him the letter in person when he comes over to talk, and let him read it otherwise I will cry and be over emotional (no thanks!) and then tell him what he thinks, open everything up for once and not be afraid to hurt my feelings and then yeah go out to lunch? 🙂

      I made a mistake when he talked to me, I seemed so eager.. next time is it best to say in the middle of the convo “sorry im busy, talk later” something a long those lines? OR wait until he becomes interested in me as a friend then play hard to get? but It’ll be hard since his going to china for 2 months… So maybe just play it cool and build friendship up to what we used to be?

    15. admin

      admin

      October 30, 2013 at 3:37 am

      I actually am not a fan of the letter but you do whatever you feel is best for YOU!

  8. Avatar

    anne

    September 22, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    Hi chris, i nid ur help pls. My ex broke up with me for more than 3 weeks now. He said before he cant determine why.. “emptyness”.. and he even shared to me that he likes a girl.(a single mom)..he said he still cares for me but he’s not sure if he can bring back like what we had before ,so for him not to be unfair he broke up with me. he’s not texting nor calling me since we broke up.. im doing the NC rule its the 25th day today. When i read ur article i just realized that probably i pushed him away because im too emotional,have lots of drama,and controlling bec im insecure. i even block him before on facebook like my frens told me. But recently i unblock him but we are not frens on facebook anymore. Do i still have a chance of getting him back?

    1. admin

      admin

      September 24, 2013 at 2:06 am

      Yes of course you have a chance at getting him back. However, that chance depends on the moves you make to increase it.

  9. Avatar

    Wossen

    September 9, 2013 at 4:26 am

    Hey Chris,

    We’ve been dating for about 3 years now.
    He is a good guy, he was head over heels for me for those three years. I was a nagging, accusing unappreciative girlfriend i’ll admit it i realized when we were on a “break” which is also a breakup technically for 3 weeks. He’s told me that i made him put steel over his heart, i get it i messed up its my job to fix things. I did your NC already and it was pretty good.

    We’ve been working things out now for about 4 fours months or so. its okay some little fights here and there. But the whole me accusing him or not trusting him is still lingering with me. I dont want to accuse him. We’ve went to the CNE (fair), greek festival in town, baseball game, buffalo state, rollerblading, movies, played videos games at his house city view restaurant etc. Us spending time together isn’t really my concern its more so how do i go about telling him that i know he has steel over his heart at the moment for everything ive done but i miss the frequent calls, and the pet names which he does here and tere once in a while. How do i even start to state my problems that i have without sounding clingy dramatic or whining…??

    1. admin

      admin

      September 9, 2013 at 7:50 pm

      Just be honest and talk to him in a very calm manner. Sit him in a place alone where it can just be the two of you and DO NOT GET ANGRY no matter what.

  10. Avatar

    Chelsea

    September 1, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    Hi. I need some solid advice here. So, I dated a good friend of mine for 3 months. He became distant and when I confronted him about it, we broke up because he said he couldn’t care about me as much as I cared about him. I was emotional and reached out to him many times after we broke up. He was receptive and we tried to remain friends. When I realized I couldn’t be friends with him because of my feelings, I initiated NC and we didn’t talk for over 30 days. Then, we see each other again and things are definitely tense. We are cordial, but we don’t treat each other as friends. I have texted him about school and other things we have in common and he responds very positively. He’ll write me long texts back with smiley faces. But, other than that, he doesn’t initiate contact. (For what it’s worth, he’s very shy and I was his first). I think there’s potential for reigniting the spark that led to a passionate and loving relationship, but I don’t know how to go about doing it. I want to bring up the good old times, but I am scared that he might think I’m trying too hard to get him back. I want to talk to him and tell him that I miss our friendship, but the truth is, I miss our relationship. I think bringing up the friendship is safe because he was also emotional when we broke up and he angrily told me that he doesn’t want to lead me on anymore. I know, I should get the message and move on. But, what if there is more? What if I’m not crazy and he still has feelings for me?

    1. admin

      admin

      September 2, 2013 at 2:19 am

      Maybe you can do a little better job at creating attraction when you text him.

  11. Avatar

    Jenny

    August 31, 2013 at 3:19 pm

    To this day I have no clue what I did to my girlfriend to cause them to do that but it happened and the drama affected me for the entire next week. Not only did it make me not like her parents anymore but it made me lose feelings for her instantly. I remember forcing myself to try to like her on dates after the drama blowup with her parents happened.

    Unfortunately, by then my feelings were long gone and everything she did annoyed me and made me angry.

    My ex boyfriend feels the exact same as you do. He said his feelings for me changed after an instance were he felt really hurt. Did you ever change your mind about her? was there anything you would liked to have seen her do? is there a chance he will change his feelings again,,?

    1. admin

      admin

      September 1, 2013 at 4:31 am

      I have thought about that a lot Jenny.

      After that drama/instance I pulled away and she sensed it and pulled away. I think if she had been more caring or understandable to how crazy her parents were I would have stayed with her longer. Problem was she was on her parents side (even though I had no idea what I did wrong.)

      Anyways, I still have feelings for her even to this day. I guarantee you I would get nervous seeing her right now if I walked out my door and she was there.

    2. Avatar

      Jenny

      September 3, 2013 at 3:10 am

      We got into a huge fight in the city and then out of fury I left him in the city and although i apologized and made up, a week after the incident he told me that his feeling for me changed. I’m still trying to figure out if there is hope at all. Right after he broke up with me over the phone he hung up on me and that was the last time i ever spoke to him. I called him and sent few txts afterwards but he never picked up. Couple days later he emailed me saying he doesn’t think that things will be the same again. I have been doing NC for about 10 days now. Does his email mean he is really through with me? He sounds so determined..

    3. admin

      admin

      September 3, 2013 at 6:05 pm

      Well, I would say he is probably in a very angry spot right now so some of that flowed over into the email. With that being said, I would complete your NC period and then gauge where he is at. What are you doing to focus on you during this time?

    4. Avatar

      Jenny

      September 5, 2013 at 3:22 am

      During the NC, I’m following your Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro really well.
      I’m dieting, also started studying again. I’m socializing and even agreed to go on a date.
      Any other thing that i can do?
      Today, i saw that he took down a photo of us from his facebook. He did this two weeks after the breakup. I may be over reacting.. but Does this mean he is moving on? or so done with me that doesn’t even want to see a picture of us together?

    5. admin

      admin

      September 6, 2013 at 1:40 am

      Yea, don’t read too much into that. Right now it should be all about you and you seem to be doing great!

  12. Avatar

    Filosofia

    August 29, 2013 at 8:41 am

    FACTS:

    I am almost 40, my ex and I only knew each other for 6 perfect months, were in fertility treatment tgo have a child and had just moved in together.

    By “perfect months” I mean that we were together everyday – the perfect match. Both were in love, and we wanted to get married and grow old together.
    The everyday life was really fun, cosy, easy – no drama. Fantastic sex, good communication a mutual feeling of finding “the right one”.
    His friends and family loves me, I never get into fights with anyone – I am normally a very uncontrolling, non manipulative person – BUT I had a monemt – I slipped!!!!

    PROBLEM THAT CAUSED THE BRAKE UP:

    I visited him abroad where he was working very hard. I was looking forward to see him after 2 weeks apart – we really missed each other – he sent me a lot “I love you more than you will ever know messages” ect.
    When I came, I didnt feel his interest at all and I became just a little like a 16 year old drama queen.
    “If you dont want me here, I can go home” ect

    He was not very loving, was drinking a lot, smoked cannabis every day, mostly wanted to hangout with his work buddys. One night he didnt come home until 1 PM the next day. He left me in my hotel room the night before at 11PM. I sent him 4 texts he didnt answered (I have read your guide to texting – THANK YOU!) And the last text I sent was stupid and a little dramatic. When he came home the next day I had packed my suitcase – and asked if I should leave.

    I didnt – but after that he was cold. He didnt feel anything he said. I tried to stay for 3 days, but he didnt want to talk to me, ignored me completely. He was dissapointed and everything I said and did was wrong. Almost like paranoia. I left the place after trying to talk to him – repair, apologized, tried to explain my feelings – that I was very much in love.
    Nothing helped. I left, he came home 7 days later, stayed at a family member, and then came home to me 10 days after i left. We did have sex, had a good time in our appartment – but he didnt knew what he was feeling and if he wanted to be with me. I heard from a friend, that he had said that he didnt think he could be with a dramatic, controlling, manipulate girl like me.

    The thing is, that I havent been like that at all in the 6 month – and the things I did wasn’t that bad, I wasnt shouting, but were calm but sad. But that is just my subjective opinion. The girls I have talked with all said, that they would have been ANGRY about the way that he treated me. I have really downtoned his bad behavior, and never ever made myself the hero – made excuses for him etc. I have really been diving in to my own wrong behavior. I have really tried to explain what happened in me.

    He was totally in love with me before this happend – now he dont know if we are on a pause/hiatus or totally broken up. I can totally feel his emotions are changes – he still want sex (the best he ever had), likes to cuddle, kiss and talk to me about his thoughts, friends and family.

    We were seeing each other now and them a month after he told me he had no feelings. Later he told me he still loved me – then again nothing – back and forth. But after he told me he didnt know about his feelings, I asked him to move out and back to his old (boring, cold, ugly) appartment – that he hate so much. I needed my own space to heal, if he didnt want me – I had apologized and told him how much I loved him.

    He is 38 has only been in 2 relationships – and have never experienced drama before. He has never been in love and loved like he did with me, he has told me.

    MY QUESTIONS ARE:

    1. Can this type of drama make a man loose all his extremely positive feelings?
    = My packed suitcase (manipulation) and one text message (controlling) is his explanation

    2. Could his feelings return with time apart – space?
    When I read the above you wrote, I was thinking – he will never return.Now he thinks that I am a drama-queen. I am not usually.

    3. Could it just be a way out of all the “adult-things” (Trying to have a baby, moving together – only in 6 months)

    4. Is there any hope in this situation?

    MORE BLA BLA BLA:

    Since he moved his stuff, I have been in No Contact – 8 days now. Good girl! He liked some of my things things on facebook – told me when he moved, that he wasnt happy at all and have me some hints that I could se as hope if I wear rose tinted glasses.. Heard from a friend that “he is not well”.
    A little hope, I think.

    Adults can get dramatic! I did – I sent a “If you dont want me, lets just be friends” and packed my suitcase. I got the feeling that he was sabotaging me and our realtionsship, beacause of the fast progression.
    Sorry for all the words – tried to shorten it down

    1. admin

      admin

      August 29, 2013 at 6:09 pm

      Hahaha no worries. That was an interesting read.

      Problem 1- He is inexperienced in relationships (at that age.)

      Your questions:

      1. It is hard for me to believe that it can. However, since he is not used to dealing with drama it is possible. BUT all of his feelings seems a little extreme.

      2. It is impossible to say. However, I have found NC to be the most effective tactic.

      3. And yes!

      4. And yes! But it will take work and a realization that success isn’t guaranteed.

      Oh, and you might want to pick up Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO, you will find it very helpful.

    2. Avatar

      Filosofia

      August 29, 2013 at 7:17 pm

      More BLA BLA BLA….

      Thank you so much for your answer, Chris.
      Nice to hear it was interesting to read with all of the Words.

      Yes, he is very inexperienced in relationship.
      And now that I am thinking. The last brake up he had, was because he got angry and grumphy at a vacation with his ex and her parent. The parents couldnt forgive “the way he behaved”.

      His best friend told me that my ex could get very angry – and I should never take it personal. Maybe he had some drama in his life before? And he is afraid of it. Mayve he is projecting his own behavior and feelings? OMG how clever I am!

      His feelings is a little extreme. You are right.
      Thay are his feelings – I accept that – and I cant change them. Maybe he will when he miss me during NC. His birthday is coming up – NC! I will behave – and give him some “effective” Space.

      It will take intelligent work – and acceptance – it is out of my hands. almost. But I can give it a chance by doing all the great Things. And I will purchase the PRO solution, when I get some Money. Spent too much money to get home to my own country from that f…… (not fantastic) vacation I went on.

      At least I will try – if it Works i will gladly reccomend this method.

      NC WORKS!
      I have already tried NC twice before – almost like your method. (I think yours is better)
      It worked both times!!!
      The first time I realized that I didnt want him back after all (he was cheating/lying) – but it still worked!
      The other time it worked after 4-5 months! But he has always been extremely SLOW. When he came back, I had found someone new – but it still worked! Just with delayed effect.

      They both found out they LOVED me in the NC period. So I am hopefull and know the method works!

      Maybe It will Work on this unique, emotional, strange and very immature man that I love so much.

      If not it is OK – I want what is best for him. If that is not WONDERFUL ME I totally accept it 😉
      I will never understand – but I really want him to have a great non-manipulative-non-dramatic life. With or without me.
      But why not give it a try?
      I still love my life!

    3. Avatar

      Filosofia

      August 29, 2013 at 7:25 pm

      BTW – You dont have to reply – I just wanted to make a comment on your advice and inspire others!

    4. admin

      admin

      August 31, 2013 at 1:51 am

      🙂 Thank you for that!

  13. Avatar

    Stephanie

    August 29, 2013 at 3:40 am

    Hi Chris, here’s my story. I’d appreciate any advice you can give.

    My fiance broke up with me in June after 7+ years together. We were supposed to get married next September, had our own house, even had future kids’ names picked out. We’ve had our issues in the past, a lot around me not being able to trust him in the last year. We were going through a rough patch and in March 2012 I caught him texting one of his female co-workers and saying inappropriate things. He also revealed a lot about our relationship that was extremely private.

    After this I became very controlling because I was afraid of being hurt again. It was hard for me to forgive him but I was willing to move past it. He has a lot of female friends at work and I didn’t know any of them, so I became very cautious and accusatory when it came to their friendships. I now understand how this pushed him away. When we were together I was so concerned about just getting my feelings heard and recognized because I felt like the victim.

    Long story short, he ended up getting emotionally involved (nothing physical) with a girl at work this past spring and left me for her. While I don’t blame myself for this because nothing excuses stepping out on a relationship, I have come to terms with what I had been doing that was driving him away.

    Now I know that this makes him sound like a jerk and you will probably tell me to forget him. But this is the person that I know in my heart I am meant to be with. We had an incredible relationship in the past and he treated me like gold. And now that we’re not together I know exactly how to get our relationship back to that great point, I just need another chance.

    I’ve been doing the Text Your Ex Back system since early July, went through my NC and have been lightly texting for about 2-3 weeks. Before my NC he really wanted to be friends, would text me almost every day to see what I was up to, and even wanted to hang out occasionally. I put an end to that and even told him that I needed a time-out (for NC). He texted me during NC and told me he missed me, even cried on the phone when I told him I didn’t want to talk for awhile (I now think it was a mistake to even tell him my intentions on not talking). The only time we spoke during NC was when I was in the hospital for a few days and he texted to see if I was okay (I thought it would be cruel to ignore). Since starting to text again he has not initiated at all and replies to texts with semi-positive/neutral responses. He never tries to carry the conversations any further.

    I don’t even know if he is in a relationship with this new girl and don’t care to know either. I’m growing frustrated that he isn’t initiating and seems to be completely indifferent to talking. I’m not worried about the other girl because I know she probably won’t be in the picture for long. How do I get him to start talking to me and even want to see me in person? I know he will be impressed with the changes I’ve made and the positivity I have added to my life but I need the chance to show him! Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks 🙂

    1. admin

      admin

      August 29, 2013 at 5:33 pm

      Hi There Stephanie,

      So, you have been having trouble texting him. He isn’t responding how you would like. Hmm… maybe you can make your texts more interesting by telling stories or something. I know this goes against the grain but maybe you can skype chat him (to see if he is interested in talking) and then you can “leave suddenly.”

  14. Avatar

    Taylor

    August 29, 2013 at 2:56 am

    After reading this article, I can definately pick out a few of these that I may have been guilty of which could have been some factors leading to our break up. My question is, do I still have a chance of getting back with my ex if any of these were part of the reason we broke up? How do you redeem yourself after committing these “cardinal sins”?

    1. admin

      admin

      August 29, 2013 at 4:24 am

      You can redeem yourself (b/c I think all women who go through a breakup do at least one of these things.) Usually the NC rule is a good place to start. You might want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO for more in-depth information though.

    2. Avatar

      Taylor

      August 29, 2013 at 2:08 pm

      It’s been 2 weeks since we broke up and I’m on day 3 of NC because we i had some stuff to get back, but there are a couple things he stills has. He said he would let me know when he was coming back and we could meet up again cuz he goes to a university 40 mins away but doesn’t have money for gas. I’m sure he will text me within the 30 days but I don’t wanna break the NC. Should I answer it since its about my stuff? I don’t really need the things back right away and I dont wanna have to start over cuz of it

    3. admin

      admin

      August 29, 2013 at 5:59 pm

      It is up to you completely. You can break NC to get your stuff back though.

    4. Avatar

      Taylor

      August 30, 2013 at 5:55 am

      If I break it to get my stuff do I start over at day 1?

    5. admin

      admin

      August 31, 2013 at 2:10 am

      Nope, you are allowed to break it.

    6. Avatar

      Taylor

      August 29, 2013 at 3:15 am

      I wasn’t controlling, high maintenance, and I didn’t let myself go. But we did have sex before we were in a relationship although he assured me that didn’t matter because he liked me so much and eventually we dated and it lasted over a year which leads to the time factor. We would usually only get in fights when we drank which I know sounds bad but that’s when I would bring up things that bothered me in the relationship which led to me being emotional. I was also really emotional when we broke up but I think that’s understandable. I’m just worried the damage is done and I don’t have a chance of getting him back

    7. admin

      admin

      August 29, 2013 at 4:25 am

      Yup, I would go into a 30 day NC period.

  15. Avatar

    Christy

    August 28, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    We were ok long distance for a year but when I moved in with him ugh I basically did almost all of these things. He broke up with me obviously. Now I live across the country again. Is there any hope or point of trying to get back with him?

    1. admin

      admin

      August 29, 2013 at 4:23 am

      You know, I am actually working on a LDR (long distance relationship) article that you might be interested in. It will be about a week before I finish but I am working on it.

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