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Chuck
February 10, 2016 at 5:44 pm
#1. I’m a guy.
#2. 3 days into DNC.
#3. Have had a friends with benefits since October of 2015. I wanted more, she didn’t. We’ve had a few times where I pushed for more, and she backed away. However when I implement DNC it seems to bring her back.
#4. This time I’m going to do a DNC for 14 days and see where that takes things. If she looses interest, so be it. At least I know how. Or it could make her realize what she had/has in me.
My question: Friends with benefits: Neither of us saw other people, I took her out a lot and naturally paid for things, however we’d just hang out often times too. She Facetimed me with her family during the holidays, took me along on NYE to meet her friends, get’s a little jealous of other women, contacts me everyday, etc. Is this really friends with benefits or simply dating, without the label?
Great website, it can be helpful for guys too.
Chuck
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 11, 2016 at 11:33 am
Hi Chuck!
Thanks! We actually have one for guys. https://www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com
You might want to check that out
Actually,you’re more in like an open relationship
Anna B.
February 10, 2016 at 2:39 pm
Hello, You are doing great! Thanks for the Website I am visiting since few days. I met abroad during my assignment a guy (9 years older than I) and we really liked and enjoyed each other. After few months dating (without sex), we finally slept together and started dating. He showed high interest to me and my work and told in November that he just went back to the mother of his boy so he is offering me now his “friendship”. It was hard but I knew I was leaving the place few weeks later so I finally quitted the country (end of my assignment there) and came back home and we both stayed in touch. Last month, I invited him to join once here, if he is on business trip around. Surprisingly, he informed me few days later that he was coming on the city but could not be alone. He came and texted, he was with the mother of his son and really wanted me to join them for a drink. I was upset and said no to him wondering why he was acting that way. he insisted but I did not anymore answered to him. Last week, I received a long email from him telling me how sorry he is about that situation and he was not able to come here alone. He told how he really likes me and took to me, how valuable i am for him and how he regrets I am hurt. He mentioned that “our” friendship is important to him. My answer was clear: I found it not respectful as he knew I had feelings for him. He answered back that he really still likes me, do not want to hurt me but is not in love with me and deeply hopes we could become friends. So i wrote back, ok.. i will need time to go over my feelings for him and think that as soon as i will be dating someone else, my emotions for him will be breaken down and we will be able to become the really friends he is hoping. He reacted upset, patronizing and hurting to that per email.. few minutes later, he apologized for his reaction… So i just wished him the best telling him that it was ok and stopped writing. I started the NC 5 days ago and decided to take care of myself and accepted an invitation of a friend for friday so that I could take time for me and see other people here again! The point is, he is stil somehow in my mind but I am convinced to manage the 30 days NC and see if i still have feelings for him or not at the end, or he has some. What do you think about it? Thanks! Anna B.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 11, 2016 at 10:33 am
Oh Anna.. I have to be honest.It seems that he really loves the mom of his son. He likes you enough to keep in touch and if you don’t stop chasing him, you might end up having an affair being his booty call.. but I think he’s not like that He was honest enough to tell you, he’s not in love with you
Vita Matthew
February 10, 2016 at 8:39 am
We met on Skype we got really close to each other we’ve been talking to each other over WhatsApp and Skype for 6 months. so you must be understand how close are we and i am crushing on him. I met him before summer, it was on May. we talked a lot, we shared our interest, or about our family. and after holiday we had to go back to our activity. he worked for his dad and i am a college student.
one day, he didn’t answer my text as fast as he used to did. and i told him if he was busy he could tell me so i could understand and its ok if he didn’t wanna talk to me for awhile. and he replied that he was buys helping his mom and his dad’s work so i said i understand.
not a long time after that he seems pretty busy so i told him again, if he was busy i didn’t want to interrupt him. and he said i didn’t interrupt him, he was just busy and couldn’t really talk. and we back to normal.
but i am so stupid and i am a moron girl. about 3 or 4 weeks after that “interrupt message” i confess to him. let me send you all the message.
[29/9/15 10:35:16 pm] Vita Matthew: i never met a very nice guy like you on the site that we met. you’re different. you remember every lil thing of my story and never be such a jerk like other stranger boys i’ve met. and everyday and every time i’m wondering about you its like “this guy is so nice. i so like him” but then…
[29/9/15 10:35:36 pm] Vita Matthew: you seems different than i thought you were. i dunno why. and our conversation is really different from the first time we talk. i really wanna be honest to you.
[29/9/15 10:36:01 pm] Vita Matthew: you… answer my text with a very long story and an explanation but none of those showing that you’re happy talking to me. just like i said, you just wanna be nice.
[29/9/15 10:36:49 pm] Vita Matthew: i can feel that you talk to me like you just wanna keep in touch with me. i understand how busy you are…. and… its really ok if you actually don’t wanna talk to me or you can’t talk to me everyday. you can talk to me when it comes to an important thing only. its really ok!
[29/9/15 10:37:08 pm] Vita Matthew: i dont wanna be someone that makes you insist to talk to me. so yeah… thats what i wanna talk about such a relief i can be honest to you
[29/9/15 10:40:05 pm] Adam: Of course you can be honest to me. Actually I have been really busy lately, I do love talking to you and I really miss skyping with you. I guess I’ve been focusing on other events lately, its hard for me to unwind
[29/9/15 10:40:17 pm] Adam: but I’m sorry if I haven’t been talking to you like before
[29/9/15 10:41:21 pm] Adam: its not that i’ve changed how i feel about talking to you, i’ve just been busy and tired
and thats conversation change everything. every single thing. even he said like that about my confession, but he’s changed. he never text me first again. i have to be the first one to text him. and he used to always replied every single of my message, but now sometimes he left me in the middle of conversation. i can’t always text him first, i wanna everything back to normal, i feel so bad, i feel so stupid make a confession like that. i really miss talking to him like we used to do. i want him to text me every night like the first time we met. i really don’t know how to change a thing and make him talk to me like we used to do.
please help me, tell me what to do, i really wanna talk to him as often as we used to do. i can’t always text him first, i am a girl and i don’t want to chase after him, i don’t want to show him too much.
Vita Matthew
February 12, 2016 at 6:07 pm
yes that’s what i mean. i texted him yesterday and he didn’t answer it. and i think i will do the No Contact Rule for 30 days. i have been doing it so i hope this works. thank you so much Amor!
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 13, 2016 at 11:08 am
You’re welcome!
Vita Matthew
February 11, 2016 at 3:54 pm
yeah you’re right Amor! sometimes he texted me first if he can’t answer my message. so i think if i dont text him and he doesnt text me i think our relationship will over so someone have to drop their agony right?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 12, 2016 at 1:32 pm
Sorry I didn’t get what you asked.. dod you mean eventually someone has to
start texting after a long time of not texting each other? If so, yes ofcourse..
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 11, 2016 at 10:02 am
Hi Vita,
The thing is, if you’re just waiting for him abd demanding or asking him to talk to you more, you’re alreadg chasing him.
You have to have an iteresting topic again for a convo, especially if he’s really busy.. It has to be worth his time. Talk about his interests and then don’t talk always.. let him miss you
Joy
February 9, 2016 at 6:58 pm
Hi amor I really need your help. I have best friend (gal) where we like kith and kin , always used to text , call and hangout together. I like her and she too. But 4 days back we messedup for a unknown reason and that was the last msg I did to her but she but replyed at all even after she saw. I was under so sick of depressed mood later I read this NC rule and started 4 days back. And she messaged me but I didn’t replied and I don’t until 30 days. Is this NC rule workout for this kind of matter ? And I don’t know what to say after 30 days !!! Shall I say about the truth of NC rule or what. Please reply me ASAP. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 1:51 pm
Hi Joy,
Actually nc rule is used to move on from a break up or have a clean slate because two people can’t manage to have a proper talk. If you can have a proper talk, then that’s better. If emotions always get in the way then it’s ok to distance yourself from your friend for a while
Apple
February 9, 2016 at 6:30 pm
My ex blocked me out of fb and the phone but today after nine days of no contacts he messaged me informing me of the obvious fact that I still have some of my things at his place followed by an :/ I don’t think I should break no contact, but I’m conflicted because one, I don’t want him to loose interest, and mainly two, I wouldn’t want him to throw my stuff out. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 1:47 pm
Hi Apple,
That’s an exception. It’s ok to get your staff. just as ling as you don’t have small talk and talk about feelings and relationship. You don’t have to start the count over
N
February 9, 2016 at 10:37 am
Hi Amor,
We broke up 10 days ago and I applied NC rule right after that. My ex texted me yesterday saying he missed me, together with some wishes for me (it is a holiday in our place). I don’t know if he just wanted to send me wishes or he really missed me. I haven’t replied him. Should I do it?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 12:39 pm
Hi N,
Chinese new year? Nope..don’t reply..let him miss you
Jyoti
February 9, 2016 at 10:34 am
Hi
It’s been 33 days since my boyfriend and I broke up. I was really upset because he gave me everything I want. He was my Mr. Right. I really miss him. He lives in America. We broke up because he was heading off to college and he said that he wouldn’t have the time to commit to me by then. Also because of my studies as well. We were in a long distance relationship for about 2 months. Everything was perfect. I broke the contact rule once or twice but after that I have stuck to it. Should I block him on social medias? I don’t want him to think that I hate him or anything.
But at the same time, I am planning to surprise him by making a video of all his friends, my friends and myself saying a small message and sending him gifts on his birthday on May 21st. He has no idea whatsoever, I’ve got two of his good friends to help me out and I’m hoping he’ll appreciate the effort and see how much I still love him and care for him. He will be shocked because he knew something was going to happen on his birthday but after we broke up he thought I quit the plan. Little does he know that I’m secretly planning and making the video with the help of his friends. Is that a good idea? I want to express my love and gratitude to him because he taught me a lot of good important life-lessons which I will never forget. It’s been a hard journey since we left off but I’m willing to wait and commit whenever he’s ready because he’s so worth the wait and distance. I think I’ll be doing the NC rule for a while until he contacts me. What if he contacts me on his birthday to say thankyou? Should I reply? Or do you think I should leave him hanging and not reply? Help me!
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 12:37 pm
you don’t have to block him… You’re going to do NC until May? I think that’s too long. If you don’t want to talk to him until then, it’s ok but you don’t have to restrict yourself if you want to by that time
Emily
February 9, 2016 at 8:10 am
Hi turns out my ex who loved me so much and couldn’t stand his ex has gone back to her it’s all such a shock as she made his life hell he was unhappy wi her for 5 years she controlled him stopped him seeing friends and family and he told me I was everything he wanted he had never had it all and now he did we ne etc but has gone back to her she has deleted all his accounts changed their mobile numbers email addresses everything I have just been thrown away like rubbish! Why would he go back I can’t believe I meant nothing to him no contact won’t work cause I physically can’t contact him ?
Emily
February 10, 2016 at 12:36 pm
It is worth it he was literally the nicest kindest boyfriend ever excellent step dad figure for my little boy and the things he said to me he must of meant I think his ex has depression she messages threatening to end her life etc which is why I think he gone back I know there is nothing I can do but im hoping the no contact she has put him on will make him realise he does miss me but I am just focusing on gym and getting fit im friends on facebook with loads of his friends so I know he can see what im going through them im trying to act like im not bothered
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 12:08 pm
Hi Emily,
I think it’s better of you ask why you still want him back after this.. is it worth it?
BC
February 9, 2016 at 1:00 am
thank you, I hope he misses me as much as I miss him, he’s all I’ve been thinking about for the last two weeks, but I’m not messaging him, I want him to message me first, but I feel like this is never going to happen, because he’s dating a girl now.
he messaged me said that it’s is a little odd not to hang out with me anymore, I asked him if he would ever date me, he said he would because he knows me and he knows that I’m a good person, but he said that he feels like I’m too young for him, he’s 29 and I’m 20, but I never felt this age difference in the past year, we’d always laugh at the same jokes, I feel like we have a similar sense of humor and we understood each other very well, it was easy for us to connect, I just don’t know what to do
I feel like there’s no hope for me anymore after he said that I’m too young for him, I can’t change his mind on that, can I?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 11:28 am
Hmmm.. you can influence somebody to change their mind but tbe decision will always be theirs
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 10:25 am
Uh oh, that’s good that he didn’t answer because NC means you don’t talk to him in any form whatsoever.. So, if he calls again, that means you don’t answer it, if it’s an emergency, he will text what it is.
UNSURE
February 8, 2016 at 10:24 am
I did the no contact rule, and he came back saying he wanted me but wasn’t sure, we have been talking quite a lot for the last month and seen each other a few times, but because of sorting out getting rid of our house and stuff, I didn’t start the recovery pro campaign straight away. When texting I follow all the rules and did the testing him in a conversation yesterday which went well. When in person I also try to be an ungettable girl too. However we were together 4 years, so he knows me very well. when we are together he flirts and makes sexual comments, so i know he still wants me, however I still think he thinks he could have me back quite easily. Should I try and do some kind of no contact again or should I continue my campaign?
UNSURE
February 9, 2016 at 9:52 am
Hi Amor,
Thank you. Just a question not related to the no contact rule. I haven’t spoken to him yesterday or today because i was waiting my 2 days. he however has tagged me in a picture of a cute cat on facebook this morning because he knew i would like it. I didn’t know what the rules were on this though? he didn’t write anything, just tagged me in a comment, so I just liked the tag and didn’t comment back. been as this is him reaching out, should I contact him today now or still wait until tomorrow?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 12:33 pm
If you’re not in nc anymore, comment back when he tags yoi again or tag him in a post that he likes
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 6:46 am
Hi Unsure,
What matters more is how you handle that. If he really thinks that way, then that’s good because you will have a chance to prove him wrong. If he not, then good too because that means he’s seeing the change in you.
Maria
February 8, 2016 at 9:19 am
Hi,
My ex boyfriend and I broke up 7 weeks ago after living together for 15 months and being together for 2 yrs and 3 mos. The longest we went without talking was probably 6-7 days before one of us contacted. He’s gone travelling overseas for 5 months, should I still bother trying NC? The other day i pointed out to him that if we were going to talk like this every day then how is it any different to being together, however his response was “i understand its upsetting and a big change but I don’t wanna keep having this discussion” meaning he’s not ready to talk about the past, which I have been avoiding the last 2 weeks anyway. He broke up with me because he said he doesn’t want to waste my time anymore and believes 2 years is enough time to know if we have a future together. And that he has this ‘gut feeling’. (He was also made redundant a few weeks before we broke up and always spoke about travelling as an opportunity if so, so I don’t believe anything could have stopped him from going). He also thought that if it was right between us, then he would have wanted to go for a shorter period, which i disagree with. None of it adds up, he’s not chasing girls, there’s no one else he wants to be with and I know he still loves and cares for me. We had plans to go overseas this year which sucks. I’m not sure what to do, and if there’s hope?
Any advice would be appreciated, Thanks
Maria
February 10, 2016 at 1:31 am
It may have possibly, but I never got a proper explanation so wasn’t sure if i could work on anything. Would you suggest NC and cutting him off for awhile ? I mean, he didn’t cut it off completely with me so I’m thinking I may still have a shot?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 11, 2016 at 9:33 am
Yes,I agree, it could also help for him to.miss you
Maria
February 9, 2016 at 6:41 am
Hi Amor,
No he broke up a month before he left, he felt if it was right between us he would have gone for a shorter period of time overseas, e.g. 3 months instead 6 or something. I like travelling but because of work and Uni i couldn’t go for so long, provably a month or something. We hardly fought we just disagreed and it was respectable so there actually was not anything wrong with us, or anything he has pointed out?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 9:11 pm
Yeah,well, a gut feel may also mean he lost interest. He’s not satisfied with what’s happening now. Do you think that the relationship was so laid back, it got boring?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 6:28 am
Hi Maria,
So, did he break up with while overseas? And go for shorter of period of what? WHy do you think did he think he had that gut feel? Do you not like traveling? Do you fight always when you were together?
Maria
February 9, 2016 at 12:00 am
Also, just needed to add and say that he’s planning on skyping soon, and had no objectives to do so. He’s been away for about 3 weeks now.
Jasmine
February 8, 2016 at 4:50 am
Hi. I have been a friends with benefits with a guy that I work with for more than a year. During that time I developed some feelings for him , which he knows about. Though when we started he already was in a relationship with someone else which got called off as the girl left him for someone else. I thought that would make him like me more but nothing of that sort happened. It had already been 4 months. Then for the past 2 months his behavior had changed completely. Upon asking he wont say anything but blame me for his rude behavior. saying that i have become clingy. A single text to check on him would make me clingy. Upon asking a trillionth times, he accepted that there is this new girl that he had been dating for almost a month and a half and he really likes her. He doesn’t even want sex now as he says this time he wants to be loyal to this girl. Please advise what should I do?
Sarah
February 9, 2016 at 6:12 am
Hello,
I have been dating with this guy more than a year. We had been good one year. We shared our happy and bad moments. We had communicated mostly by texting since it was a long distance relationship. He had come all the way from Germany to Thailand 3 times last year to see me and spent wonderful time together.
But since the last trip in Nov 2015, I noticed that our conversation was not the same. It was not daily conversation. He would read my messages and reply back couple days later. He told me that he was busy at work. I trusted him and was patient. But with the feminine hormone, I kept distracting and overthinking. I had thought that he might cheat. I had been patient pretending nothing happen and hadn’t talked to him about my concern for 2 months.
Until last two weeks I sent him message mentioning that I felt bad at work. He read the message but did not reply anything. I told him that I would like to have discussion. He replied that it was not a good time and he would be free for the next three days. I said ok and thanks him for giving us a chance to talk. But waiting for 3 days was killing me. It was not that I would like to hear from him so much but the feminine hormone accelerated that if he cared about me why he let me wait for 3 days. During waiting I had prepared myself both mentally and physically for hearing that he might know a new excitement.
We then had a talk. I started to tell him that I had insecurity in our relationship due to our less communication. I totally understood that he was busy but with my feminine hormone I had kept overthinking. I am practicing myself to fix this trait. We have read the same book “the power of now”. I asked him if we could develop the enlightened relationship mentioned in the book. I had tried my best to keep my value. He said he is currently focusing on his work. He even barely talks to anyone, even his family. The enlightened relationship that i have asked could start from me. I should not miss him because he is far away and not at the present moment with me. I totally understand him and respect his decision. I thank him for coming in my life and teach me all good things both love and living.
For last past week, i read and learnt about what he said and also learnt that it was a guy moment wanting a space. I felt guilty to let my feminine hormone over my decision and messed up our relationship. He mentioned that he currently does not want to be in any relationship. I just do not understand what the wonderful moment last year was. I have been in No Contact period before lately that I have read in the internet about this solutions. I know that I could not control him. what i can do is seeing value in myself and be on my own. However, many times during the days that I have been wondering what had happened. And if it is possible that he is still missing me. Please advise what I should do in the way that I still show my value? I am wondering would it be possible that he will miss and come to talk to me again.
Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 9:07 pm
Hi Sarah,
I think you’re not executing. You know what no contact is, and you know you have to value yourself but are you acting upon it? Because if you are, whatever you’re doing is either not working or you need to do it more.
Showing value just means knowing and implementing your standards.
Value is knowing how you should treat yourself properly and how others should treat you and when you should say sorry and when to compromise. A person who values himself know when they’re wasting time on something. And after that, they implement it. They don’t have a problem with working hard or walking away when something that used to benefit them before, now isn’t.
I’m not saying to just let him go.. I’m saying don’t chase. When you start to chase, the more he will run away from you
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 10:42 am
Hi Jasmine,
So, as of now you’re Friends with benefits or you were friends with benefits? Or you offered that you could do it? Okay, so if it’s a yes to either one of those, it means you’ve have no value for yourself. That’s the main reason he’s not taking your seriously. If you keep doing this, you will end up with guys who just use you. So, bear that in mind. Put your self worth in check first, before going into a romantic relationship.
Kairah
February 8, 2016 at 3:48 am
Hi! I hope someone can help me!!
My ex boyfriend and i were dating for 2 years before he broke up with me. He is currently going to college at another state, and its been long distance since August. He has come back twice, but right before he comes home, he breaks up with me, and we get back together because he forgets what the physical attraction is like. However, this time, he said we were over, and he didnt want me to hang out with him or even call him. So we texted for about a week (he said we could still remain to be best friends), but he was very distant. Then i went to his house to drop off some of his stuff, and hopefully get to talk to him, but he was not home. So i called him, and then he told me that i am not his friend or girl friend and i need to leave him and his family alone (i texted his brother the day before to see why my ex was acting so cold and cruel). And it has been a few days after that situation, he has blocked me from all of his social media accounts and i have been suffering with anxiety. I dont have an appetite and am sleep deprived. I want to get back with him so bad, the long relationship ended so abruptly, and unexpected. I am planning to go to the same college as him next year. What should i do? I am planning to do the “no contact” rule, but should i be the one who makes the first contact? He made it pretty clear that he does not want to associate with me at all. However, before we broke up, he said that he’s often lonely at school and can’t wait for me to go to school with me. I am afraid that his dad convinced him to break up with me (he doesn’t really like me), because this is very unlike my ex. Please help!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 10:21 am
Hi Kairah,
Even if his dad convinced him to break up with , it’s he really wants to stay in contact he will. Right now, you’re just chasing him and made your world revolve around him. Do you plan on going to his school to be with him or you really want to go that school even if he’s not there anymore? First, right now, forget about if whether he would like to talk to you again. Do nc for at least 30 days,and focus on yourself. After or maybe even before that nc ends, he might unblock you too because you’ve stopped bugging him, and then if he unblocked you and then good, you go the next step. If not, you have to wait until he unblocks you.
Saranah
February 7, 2016 at 10:17 pm
Hello,
My boyfriend broke up with me January 20th due to circumstances. It was a peaceful breakup but I want him back. I have been doing NC since January 24th so it’s been about 14 days NC. He’s going on a guys trip vacation to Cancun around February 15th for a week. I’m wondering should I contact him right before he leaves? I don’t want him to go on vacation and forget about me when he gets back.
Help! Thanks!!
Saranah
February 8, 2016 at 2:35 pm
Hi. The circumstances are due to family religion differences. He also says he’s not really ready for a very serious relationship. I’m willing to take things slow though. We were only together for 3 months but we were dating for around 6 months before that. I have been proactive with NC…no texts, calls, deleted him off social media.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 8:00 am
Okay, that’s good. But three months is actually short, so just do 21 days nc.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 8:29 am
Hi Saranah,
What circumstances are those? How long have you been together? If you’re doing a 21 day nc, that would mean messaging him on the 15th is right after it. so, that’s okay. And also, have you been making your NC proactive?
Crystalina
February 7, 2016 at 7:34 pm
I am on day 7 of my no contact with an ex and had a few questions. I have been dating my best friends brother for the last few months and we have had a few ups and downs in that time but have always reconnected. Since i have met my bestfriend, her and her family have been like my family (I’m always at her house and we are all always together.) Since me and her brother have broken up there is a lot of changes happening because i have been not going over and seeing them as often. Since my 30 day NC started i have bumped into him a few times. Me and him live 2 minutes from each other and work in the same area, meaning our routes are the same and it was inevitable that we would bump into each other one day (and of course it would be during my NC phase, gah!) anyways the other day he drove up next to me on the freeway and tried very hard to get my attention, i saw him but never once looked over. YAY ME! Then a day later i was dropping off his sister at home (i didnt get off) and he opened the door and saw me as i took off. Do these little things set me back? How do i go about this complicated situation of doing the 30 day NC properly if some meetings are unavoidable? Please help.
Crystal
February 9, 2016 at 4:11 pm
You don’t know how happy i was to see you suggest 21 days instead of 30, but I think I am going to finish out the 30 days so i can see it completely through and put Chris and his method to the test. 🙂 I do have one more question – my friend has told me that her brother is now dating another girl. Is my ignoring him still making him miss me when someone else is taking up his time? What if i get to my 30 days and he is in a relationship – what then? Do i still bother sending the first text message?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 1:07 pm
30 days is short.. that’s most likely rebound..so, yes for me you should try sending a text
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 6:02 am
Hi Crystallina,
I don’t think so. Actually I think he misses you more and the good thing about that is he will surely see your physical improvements and growing confidence. I think even just 21 days will do, if by day 21 you need to extend, of course go ahead. But if you can lessen the amount of bumping to each other, it would be better for you, and it also makes it unroutinely for him. Don’t make him used to just seeing you on this time and day. Make him wonder when he’ll see you again.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 4:59 pm
Hi Dominique,
Then you have to be strong about it not to reply, because honestly right now, what he meant is, you’re not his priority and you’re one of his burdens.has it been two weeks too since you last talked? when was the last time you tried to contact him?
Sarah
February 7, 2016 at 4:43 pm
I broke the no contact rule after a week to ask my ex a simple question, just if he saw so-and-so (which I did not explicitly mention to him) but which did not want him to see. He replied back to me saying he didn’t.
Is it possible to restart the no-contact rule after breaking it in this way?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 6:33 pm
Hi Sarah,
Yeah sarah it is.. Just stick to it this time, because the more you did it, the less it’s effect
feelinghurt
February 7, 2016 at 12:50 pm
Hi!
My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years, long distance half the time. A close friend of ours found out he cheated on me with two different girls, I confronted him about it and he admitted to everything. Our last phone call was mostly just me crying and him trying to justify his mistakes. I didn’t mention anything about breaking up, the no contact rule, or telling him i needed space. I just said goodbye.
It’s been a week strong, and he’s sent me over 90 messages telling me he loves me, took me for granted, and feels horrible.
Should I continue to follow the no contact rule? The amount of unread messages is becoming overwhelming, and the pleads for a response.
Is it okay that I didn’t mention anything about not wanting to talk to him for awhile?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 5:59 pm
Hi feeling hurt,
when in during your 3 year relationship did he cheat? Actually it’s good that you didn’t mention him that you’re doing nc. he’s feeling super guilty now.. So, more probably, after two weeks he might stop because he’ll think you’re moving on but once you start to contact, he’ll either prove he really loves you or you’ll be proven that he really doesn’t love you…
Because honestly, you can try to give him a chance now, and then see if he really changed but if he didn’t, the next nc after that should be firm because the more you do nc, the less it’s effect.
Mia
February 7, 2016 at 7:41 am
Hi,
My boyfriend and I were in a relation for almost 7 years. We have had our ups and downs like any other relationship. We had broken up 5 months back due to some issues. I had implemented the no contact rule and it worked. We got back. Things now happened to have taken a whole new turn. He had to leave the country because his visa could not get renewed and he went back to his hometown. He had informed me that he will be back or will to the least try to. That being said, we were still going on strong till last week. Out of the blue, he sends me a text saying that he is not coming back because things are not working out with his visa. And told me that we need to part ways and move on. He told me he would not call me or text or anything at all. Sending that, he blocked me. He did not even wait for me to respond to that text. He blocked me on Whatsapp, Instagram, Skype and Snapchat. I asked him to speak to me, we could work something out (used my sisters phone to text). I asked him to Skype and he said he wouldn’t because he does not want to get weak. Why is he being so selfish? He just left me in one second even when things were so perfect. First few days I would text him (SMS). But would get no response. Now I just stopped. No texts, no nothing. Its been 4 days I haven’t made any effort to talk to him. Do you think its going to work in my favor? I feel hopeless.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 5:10 pm
Hi Mia,
That is hard. But maybe he felt hopeless because of his visa problem.
Mia
February 7, 2016 at 7:44 am
He also said he is doing this for the good of both of us. How is this good? 7 years and distance is his worry? I don’t understand.