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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Anon
January 7, 2014 at 8:56 pm
My ex boyfriend and I were in a LDR for 2yrs and a half. In this period of time we saw each other about every 5months, for at least 3 weeks, we are each others first love. About a month and a half ago I decided to start socializing again, being active on instagram and going out with my friends. This drove him crazy and he decided to breakup with me. My initial reaction was very aggressive, I left hurt and betrayed I told him I wanted him out of my life. Then I went for a family vacation to New York and he went to Dubai for about two weeks. We have been texting, which he initiated but we wait a couple days to answer each other…Will I loose him if I try the No Contact Rule? He is so interested in how im going, the weather here and my future projects….I want him back because I love him. Is the no contact rule appropriate in this situation. he texted me this morning asking recommending a movie to me and asking about the weather in Canada.
admin
January 8, 2014 at 6:16 pm
Have you read my LDR guide?
Nicola
January 7, 2014 at 8:33 pm
Hi Chris, my ex recently dumped me and after several heated texts and mixed messages, the relationship is done. Only thing is I know I did wrong and I said I wanted to at least still be friends and we mentioned possibly meeting up the next time he’s in town. Do I initiate no contact now and wait for him to text me?
admin
January 8, 2014 at 6:16 pm
Are you opposed to NC?
Nicola
January 8, 2014 at 8:35 pm
I started NC today but he has just texted me. He knew I was a bit unwell and asked how i was and to let him know if i am okay. do i reply or maintain NC?
Janis
January 7, 2014 at 5:34 am
Hi Chris, my ex and I have decided to go NC before I discovered your website. It was working since after 4 days he started texting me that he was missing me and everything reminded me of him, but I fell for it like an idiot and replied to his texts! We ended up arguing! So I went back to my NC resolution, again after 3 days he texts me and I fall for it one more time, we end up arguing again! Now he has not contacted me in 7 days (nor have I contacted him), can NC still work or have I ruined it by responding to his texts? It’s supposed to last 45 days (there are things in between, he’s moving, I have school exams and we decided to talk when all the stress is over). I’m now at day 38 and determined to go all the way! But will it be any use? I see the goal is to get him to write to me but he already has and it has not worked! And to make sure he doesn’t sabotage the NC again, I’ve blocked him on my phone so even if he does write before NC is over I can’t know!
admin
January 7, 2014 at 6:49 pm
AWESOME! I like that you are that dedicated to block his calls so you aren’t even tempted.
Janis
January 7, 2014 at 10:19 pm
Thanks but what now? Can it still work?
anonymous
January 7, 2014 at 2:31 am
My boyfriend and I lived together for a year dated for a year and 4mths. We broke up 7 mths ago and have never been in contact since the day he moved out. I miss him so much and so does my child. It kills me that he hasn’t contacted me. I thought he would have realized hemade a mistake. I know he had to straighten out his life and his problems caused a lot of problems for us. But I miss him so much, he was such a wonderful person, everything felt right with him and my child loves him dearly. But I feel stupid to contact him, felt that he should because of the scenario. I told him I wouldn’t call because it would kill me but if he felt we could make this work and he regrets it to call me. Told him not to call unless he wanted to get back together. I don’t believe in casual dating or friendships after a serious relationship ended. Could use your advice….miss him so much despite of what his situation was and how he needed to fix it.
admin
January 7, 2014 at 6:45 pm
Well, lets start with a simple question. You are doing NC I am assuming?
Lee
January 6, 2014 at 8:12 pm
Ok…I have dating this guy for 6 weeks and he pulled a no contact with me about 2 weeks ago for about 4 days. When I did finally get around to responding to him after he went “missing” for those few days, he made a “big deal” about how long it took me to respond back to him and was all concerned that I was “upset” with him. So I know from “experiance” that this no contact thing really does works! We were suppose to get together yesterday, which was Sunday (we had planned a date) and I didn’t hear a word from him at all since Friday so I plan on doing the NC rule for a full 30 days. Don’t know if he is wanting to break things off or just see how far he can get pulling his little disappearing act again. Now my question…I borrowed a tool from him that he may need and I still have it. Do I mail it to him with no note or just hang onto it until I contact him in 30 days? I know if he doesn’t pursue me in these 30 days, he really isn’t interested in me so I will just move on. Does standing up a person you have been dating for a few weeks justify the NCR? Any help you can give me would be much appreciated! Thanks!
Lee
January 8, 2014 at 1:29 pm
I have no idea. We had only been dating for the past 6 weeks (with not even a discussion on being exclusive)which 10 of those days about 2 weeks ago he had pulled a disappearing act on me. When I took a while to respond to him when he did finally contact me he said he was worried that I was mad at him. Now he has done the “poof” again and stood me up on Sunday when we were suppose to get together. I am doing the NCR now and realize if I hear nothing from him in these 30 days…he is history but I have his tool. Should I hang onto it and then mail it to him after the 30 days is up or send it to him now? If I send it to him now he may try to contact me and if he does I won’t respond to him. What should I do?
admin
January 7, 2014 at 6:38 pm
Are the two of you broken up?
ripudaman
January 6, 2014 at 7:27 pm
I have irritated my bf like hell. Our relationship was on off-on constantly due to which I became insecure as a result I started calling n txtng him evn if he ws busy n that irritated him like hell.nw he is not responding to my txts he has even blocked my contact num n evn blocked me on Facebook.the only mean of communication is whatsapp bt on that too he never respond. Its been a month I’m dealing with such prblms in my relationship will no contact still work for me?
admin
January 7, 2014 at 6:38 pm
It can still work yes.
roger
January 6, 2014 at 6:05 pm
Three month, on again off again break up, her with me. I did everything wrong for a while. Everything! I was not willing to commit. Now I am. Im in day 6 of no contact, before I went in I wrote her a very unemotional email about how and why I think we can work to establish a new relationship. She wrote me today saying that she respects the fact I cant be her friend and that we cant have a relationship and that shes very angry with me. Then signed the letter love with my pet name for her. Why all the mixed signals?? If we are not friends or lovers why is she even writing me?
roger
January 6, 2014 at 6:07 pm
oh forgot….5 year relationship. i was her first love
roger
January 6, 2014 at 6:35 pm
oh forgot something else…she says she wants to meet me to talk. Why? about the relationship we wont have?
Jessica Cameron
January 6, 2014 at 4:16 am
hi chris,
iv been doing the no contact rule for 5 days now and i was wondering what i should do if he calls me on a private number?
thanks, jess
admin
January 6, 2014 at 6:48 pm
Don’t pick up on numbers you don’t recognize haha.
Nic
January 6, 2014 at 3:21 am
I initiated No Contact on New Years Day and yesterday a message popped up on Facebook from him, asking if i wanted to meet him for a walk in the park with the dogs.
I ignored it, there’s 2 or 3 new ones from him today, without actually going into his message and reading it, just into the general message section of facebook, i can see his last message is if my new years resolution is to not talk to him..
Needless to say, it’s like a kick in the guts and a tug on the heart strings, i feel sick to my stomach… He has regular contact with a friend who he pet sits for, one of the pets who he had to call my sister for help for, so it’s not like he’s completely out of the picture.. I already feel really bad about not responding and really worry as he had anxiety mental health issues (that sometimes i think he plays on to get at me)…
What do i do… he’s sent me a message saying that he wasn’t very excited about this aspect (not talking to him) of my new years mindset but that he understands, sorta, and that he hopes this year is good to me, and the rest of my life (if we never end up speaking again)… 🙁
please advise…
admin
January 6, 2014 at 6:45 pm
Well, you aren’t going to be in NC forever.
Bgirl
January 5, 2014 at 7:56 pm
Wowww OMG no contact really does work yayyy my ex came running back after no contact for a month thanks Chris cause if I hadnt read your blog/site I would have not applied no contact n would have kept going back to him yayyyy he’s back
Angela
January 15, 2014 at 9:29 pm
Can I ask you something? Can you give me details about your relationship? Why you guys broke up and if you were a text gnat and bothered him to take you back and THEN did the NC? Or did you just do the NC from the start?
admin
January 6, 2014 at 6:17 pm
For real? This is amazing.
Claire
January 5, 2014 at 6:47 pm
Hi,
Partner has just left me, We have been together for 6 years, living together for 5.
I’m trying the no contact thing, will it still work if We have met up to talk and clear the air a few times in the immediate 2 weeks after the breakup? I’ve been rational and calm and not been all stalker or anything, but it has been hard.
If I start the NC now will it still give me a chance to win him back? He started seeing someone 2 days after leaving me…
Thanks
Rhonda
January 7, 2014 at 3:49 am
Hi ,I’m going to try this NC method this guy is playing hard to get I’m not not into games ,,he wants to call when he gets ready .that’s not good for me , if you miss me act like ,hot one day cold the next I can live with or without him let’s see how this works
emma michales
January 4, 2014 at 9:41 pm
i broke up with my boyfriend after 6 months because things started to become complicated,at first i did it so he would realise how much i mean to him,after a few days he started to come around and started asking me on dates which i refused and bailed out from,the next one month consisted of me begging him back,of course he refused.some days ago i decided to let it go and he surprisingly started to come around,he had seen a movie which reminded him of us and made him miss us,he started to say he loved me all over and said he really missed me but i was frigid towards him.So i gave in some days ago and we started arguing about us again and finally we agreed on giving eachother some space,i told him to stay away from me,i really do want things to work out,i hope our situation can be salvaged.
admin
January 5, 2014 at 7:54 pm
So, right now you are doing NC?
Lu
January 4, 2014 at 10:50 am
What happens after the 30 days if i get no contact from him?
I lived with him for 4 years, he left, hes redirected his post and told me to leave any post for him in the box. I did nc for 10 days didnt wish him happy xmas or ny or anything. After 10 days got a cold text from him asking if there was any post. I Replied short and sweet, then he asked another question about his duvet which is at the cleaners i gave him the ticket to pick it up. I didnt reply. What happens if after 30 days i hear nothing from him?
Thanks
admin
January 4, 2014 at 7:09 pm
No big deal. You just contact him.
Anonymous
January 4, 2014 at 7:13 am
So, I’m on around day 9 of nc. My problem is that I’m seasonally unemployed and he owes me $20. It seems like a trivial amt but, it could really help me. Should I expedite the contact rules or should I just ask for the 20 and be on my way till day 31?
admin
January 4, 2014 at 7:03 pm
Well, I think you ask now if you want your money back but it might lessen your chances of getting him back.
Maddy
January 4, 2014 at 1:18 am
My boyfriend of almost 2 1/2 years broke up with me last night. It was really emotional for both of us and we were both sobbing (I’ve only ever seen him cry ONCE and even then it was just a little tear) and telling each other how much we love each other and talking for over 3 hours about everything. His reasoning was that he felt that every little thing was turning into an argument and that we just didn’t have anything in common anymore and he didn’t feel the same as he used to. For the past year I had been dealing with some mental health issues that were really taking a toll on our relationship, and I think they may have caused most of the trouble because I was feeling so insecure and picked fights about everything. For this reason, I had recently started going to therapy (which I wish desperately I would have done earlier…) However, it was clearly too late at that point.
A few months earlier we had taken a break for 2 weeks and things had seemed to improve greatly after that. However, we didn’t get to do many fun things together or talk about ways that we could fix things so he pulled away again and I got hurt and nagged him for it. Last week he had been ignoring me for 5 days and then told me we needed to talk when I texted him asking what was up. He broke up with me that night. It was very emotional but very calm and understanding, neither of us yelled or argued. All we could do was compliment each other and hold each other and kiss and UGHH I almost wish it would have been messy so I could have a reason to be mad at him. He also told me he still really wanted me in his life and wanted to be friends and do things together and be around my family like always. He’s also keeping a guitar that I painted MY FACE on hanging up in his room!!! He refuses to let me paint over it.
Anyways, today I dropped off his Christmas present along with a letter I wrote telling him that I was cutting him completely out of my life and that I didn’t think we could be friends without me wanting to kiss and hold hands with him and be in a relationship again when he felt nothing for me. I ended it with “Goodbye (his name), I was really in love with you, I hope you know that” so I could indicate I wasn’t going to hope for a reconciliation.
Not 10 minutes after I dropped off his present, he texted me saying that he was a mess and still really really loves me and misses me a ton. Anyways we texted back and forth a few times, and I mistakenly told him I couldn’t sleep or eat and that our breakup was a major setback for the change I was trying to make in my life for the better. I told him that I didn’t think I had the chance to REALLY start turning my life around so that we could fix things.
Then he says “I’m sorry I want to try again but i just dont know if i can see it happening right now… I mean we are only in high school we can always get back together later i think maybe we just need to focus on ourselves…” Oh god I was so happy. I definitely agreed that we needed time apart to fix ourselves and get back into living life. Now, I plan to follow through on the No Contact Rule.
Basically my question is, can the NC rule still work in my situation? I’m just afraid it won’t seem like I’m moving on because we acknowledged a possibility of getting back together. Not to mention he still seems really emotionally invested in me and my family and honestly I don’t see our “problems” being so much of an obstacle that we couldn’t overcome it in the future, especially if I recover from my self-esteem and depression issues. I mean in the past we still liked the same things we do now and back then we thought we had EVERYTHING in common!! Anyways, if anyone could provide some insight I would be very grateful 🙂
admin
January 4, 2014 at 6:49 pm
Sure it can work!
Melissa
January 3, 2014 at 9:57 pm
my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. We had a petty argument which brought up insecurites and we broke up from it. This has been so tough to overcome, the first two weeks i non stopped called and asked for him back it has now been 3 days since the nc.checking his instgram i found he has been spending time with an old friend and she makes it seem quite serious! it hasnt been even 3 weeks and already, what makes nc so hard is that i want to yell at him for not even calling to check on his child who is 13months. What are the chances with this nc? my fear is that he wont contact me.
admin
January 4, 2014 at 6:46 pm
I think your chances will be good but getting through NC is not going to be easy?
Nic
January 3, 2014 at 11:07 am
I initiated No Contact on New Years Day and yesterday a message popped up on Facebook from him, asking if i wanted to meet him for a walk in the park with the dogs.
I ignored it, there’s 2 or 3 new ones from him today, without actually going into his message and reading it, just into the general message section of facebook, i can see his last message is if my new years resolution is to not talk to him..
Needless to say, it’s like a kick in the guts and a tug on the heart strings, i feel sick to my stomach… He has regular contact with a friend who he pet sits for, one of the pets who he had to call my sister for help for, so it’s not like he’s completely out of the picture.. I already feel really bad about not responding and really worry as he had anxiety mental health issues (that sometimes i think he plays on to get at me)…
What do i do… right now i haven’t read the messages.
please advise…
williams
January 3, 2014 at 9:09 am
hello
am Williams from Nigeria. i am a regular visitor to your site since last year and i love the tips i get here. i have been struggling with my relationship for the past 6 months.
my ex girlfriend broke up with me about five months ago. i have been doing everything possible to win her back. i have been overly nice, kind, caring and loving to her. i even call her and text her always. sometimes when she is in a good mood we would interact well but most times she act bad and say things that insults me. i have been so so tolerant. i have tried the no contact rule on three occasions but break it as soon as she call or text me. she left me for another dude saying that her mom approve of him and she loves him although she didn’t give me any reason why she broke up with me. our relationship was superb and we were discussing marriage although its an LDR (20 hours apart by road). i really love her but she insists that we should be just friends. please i need help i don’t really know what to do
admin
January 3, 2014 at 8:09 pm
Have you read my LDR guide?
williams
January 6, 2014 at 1:20 pm
i have read something or two on your page about LDR
williams
January 6, 2014 at 1:27 pm
but now cant seem to get my hands on it
Cosi
January 3, 2014 at 7:43 am
Hello!
My story is as follows:
We dated for 3 years. Towards the end we fought a LOT, mainly because I was going through depression/was pretty immature as was he, so we just disagreed all the time. He started talking to other girls and I broke up with him.
He chased me for a while, but eventually gave up. 5 months went by. Then we saw each other and we immediately seemed to click again. Then old insecurities resurfaced and he became distant, saying “I promised myself I wouldn’t get hurt by this again.”
Tonight I asked him what was up and he flatly said “I don’t know what my feelings are.”
I’m going NC, for 30 days I guess, but I just want to know if there’s hope for this, or not? When we were together he told me I was his world, I made his life better, he wanted to marry me, etc. etc….And now he seems really distant and it’s really depressing :/
Cosi
January 4, 2014 at 3:58 am
Tonight (the next day) he messaged me “Thanks for being such an inspiration. I think about you more than you know. I hope you’re alright.”
What do I do??
Noel
January 3, 2014 at 1:32 am
Hey Chris,
I’m in a situation where I was dating a guy for about 4 months. He graduated from the college i go to and currently lives about 2 hours from me.
Things moved very quickly between us.. He came to visit me, I met his family. We got along great and I could feel that “spark” and was constantly hearing from him from morning to night since the day we met.
Around November he got really busy with his family business and was not able to do as much on the weekends.. I still was making trips to see him. At a certain point, he expressed he felt he was letting me down since he had to focus on work. This was a week after the last time I saw him and was the last time I saw him.
In the past few weeks he went from saying he had not totally came to terms with this and wanted to see me to ignoring me.
I became a gnat for a few days and decided on nc. I did it for about 5 days until he texted me happy birthday which got me emotional and he continued to ignore my gnat texts.
I wouldn’t want to mend things if our relationship when we were together was so good and promising, but the last time I saw him we both even agrees was great and I’m scared I’ll never see him again though at one point he said we will.I want to do nc for 30 days, but feel I messed it up for being a gnat the past 2 weeks. Any advice?
admin
January 3, 2014 at 7:56 pm
I wish you hadn’t of broken NC.
Noel
January 4, 2014 at 12:44 am
He told me if I hadn’t things would be different. If I stick to it can there be room for reconciliation?
Noel
January 3, 2014 at 5:13 am
And he is seeing a girl within a week of our breakup.