The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

4,280 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

Cathy

November 14, 2013 at 4:13 am

WHat do you do AFTER 30 day NC if he hasn’t contacted you? do you reach out and ask if he wants to talk? meet for coffee? and see his reaction then? you haven’t gone into what happens after the NC was in place… : )

admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:20 pm

You contact him hahaha. I talk about this a lot throughout this site and in the E-Book 🙂

Jennifer

November 14, 2013 at 12:32 am

Hi, I’m really loving blogsite. Thanks so much for putting your time for women like us that are clueless about relationships. It means a lot to me and I’m sure to all the women you contact daily. I have a question though, I don’t know if my NC will work on my ex. After reading all of your things on this site, I think I broke every rule in the book of a relationship. I feel really dumb, but you know what I’m going to learn from them because I want him back. Anyways, I need your opinion if my relationship can have a second chance. My boyfriend broke up with me for after three months and he just said that he cant take being in a relationship right now. I think I invaded all the rules to not do. I called frantically even though he never answered. All I wanted to do was change his mind about him breaking up with me. I’m afraid now I screwed up my chances of getting back with him because he probably thinks I’m needy. It was my first relationship, so you have to understand I don’t know much. After he broke up with me, I did stop contacting him and the next morning I just asked if I could give back his belongings and he said no, its best not to and you throw away water I have of his. I texted and I pleaded for him to talk to me and I called him one last time, and then I just stopped. Something told me to just stop trying, he wont answer. It’s been 4 days since I haven’t talk to him. I’m going to stick with the NC rule because I messed up this relationship and I want to give it another chance. Do you think there is hope if I do the NC rule on him.

Thankyou, Jennifer

admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:08 pm

I do think there is hope and thank you for your kind words.

Sarah

November 13, 2013 at 11:16 pm

Hey I love your articles!
I have a sticky situation. Basically, my boyfriend of 5 years on and off and I broke again up about a month ago. He told me he feels stressed from relationships and can’t commit right now because he needs to de-stress his life, and also because since I cheated on him in the past, he needs to start trusting me again. He said that if we are in the right place with ourselves (mentally him being ready to commit and me being less dependent on him) and if we aren’t with anyone else, then we could get back together, but he isn’t promising anything.
From October 8-14, I was texting every day (I know it was bad) and pleading and telling him how I want to change. After that, a week later, I had a moment where I called (on my moms phone; and my ex knows calling on my moms phone is an emergency) but he didn’t answer. Couple hours later he texted “hey you called? sorry I was at work, you ok?” … by then I was feeling better so I texted, “sorry! pocket dial!”. A week later, I gave in AGAIN and texted him about my health news I received. He texted later that day and said he was sorry about my news. The weekend of that week, I drunk texted at 5AM. The day later he texted asking if I was OK and he wanted to make sure I was safe. I texted back “I’m good!”
Couple days later, I texted a photo of my new hair style. He texted “wow looks good!” and couple hours later he texted AGAIN and said “how are you? i miss hearing from you”
Basically the time span from him “hearing from me” was only I’d say 2 weeks since I told him about my health news.
Anyways, after we small chatted and he asked to see me. I thought by now I was at a good place in my life and I could handle seeing him. Well I was wrong. I came up Saturday night (he asked for Sunday during the day but I told him I was available Saturday night and changed plans last minute on my own schedule). We talked for 6 hours and eventually slept together.
*side note he made weird behaviours: I asked him for my ring back (he bought me a $500 ring for my birthday/christmas present) and he said “No… I hid it somewhere. The ring had a purpose.” And second weird behaviour was while we were laying in bed I noticed there was a picture frame of a love quote hanging where my necklace used to hang every day- I asked him where the necklace had gone and he moved the picture frame and it was still there.
Anyways, the morning we woke up, he surprised me by saying his boss called and he needs him to work today. I BLEW IT because I looked a little sad, and he picked up on it, and I knew out of guilt he told me “but we can hang out after I work.” So during the day I hung out with his best friend, and his best friend told me my ex texted him asking if I was still hanging out with him (obviously a sign that he wanted me to go home this morning and was checking to see if I was still going to be hanging out later that night). After he got home, he acted a bit distant. I got annoyed so I told him I was “tired” and that I should have just left this morning. I asked for him to tuck me in and he said he missed tucking me in at night. Later he came to bed and we cuddled. I went home the next morning.
The day after, I texted him a picture of my old house I was visiting where we first met. No response. I started to panic because I felt I ruined my chances by acting needy that Sunday when he needed to go to work. So the longer he didn’t respond, the more I panicked. I ended up sending 20 messages in a row!! I got fed up so I called on my moms phone. I left a message saying that I need space again because I clearly didn’t get over issues the first time we had space. He texted back apologizing for not answering and that his phone was left at work all day. He agreed I needed space, he will give me space, and that he will “step back any time he feels he is in the way of my happiness”. I felt like I didn’t want to believe I freaked out because of HIM. I felt I only freaked out because I was cancelled on last minute when he said he needed to go to work, and I rationalized with myself that it was the fact that when I don’t get what I want, I act spoiled, and get upset when things don’t go my way.
I texted back to him thanking that he responded to me, and that I am taking space to solve issues with myself on how to handle disappointments, and that I was sorry if I caused him to think my mental break down was because of him, and that I am not taking this as a serious blow to my independence because I still feel all the progress I’ve made from the first time having space is still in tact- it’s just I didn’t think to handle THIS specific issue of being spoiled in the first place.
Anyways, 4 days later and NO response…I texted (I am SO bad at the NC rule!) I texted him telling “another random number messaged me and I asked who it was, and the person said it was (this guy I used to have sexual relations with [while my current ex and I were on our first break up.]) I didn’t respond and I just deleted the number. I guess he must’ve still had my number or something, so random. Anyways just wanted to let you know!”
I have no idea if that is a bad call on my part. I know NC rule is the best. And I am trying to keep true to it.
But the first month before I saw him, I was trying to do NC… yet… everything fell into place without having to really completely cut him off? Was I just lucky that all of those texts throughout the month worked together and caused my ex to miss me? Because if you over look it, we had been texting once a week ever since I stopped harassing him.
I just don’t know what I should do this time? With that last text I sent, I am trying to show my ex that I can be trusted (since he has trust issues with me). But I don’t know if that might’ve just pissed him off.
Should I just from now on try NC rule and see what happens? Since I never carried it out properly, I am having those fears you have mentioned in your articles.
I am scared that I was just lucky the first time…or were all those text messages really strategic and should I try repeating the pattern again (aka pretend to accidentally call him–> news about myself–>drunk text–>pic of something new and exciting in my life?)
I’m just really confused and FRUSTRATED that I screwed up, and wound myself up into going into a SECOND break/space with him. Please help me find a way to get him to miss me again.

admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:56 pm

Do NC (and set a time limit) then contact him. That is how I think you should approach the situation.
Sarah

November 20, 2013 at 3:01 am

thanks for the response! what do you mean by set a time limit?
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:40 pm

Like 15 days, 30 days..

Rhiannon

November 13, 2013 at 11:15 pm

Hi Chris! 🙂 I broke up with my boyfriend 3 weeks ago as there were a few girls he stepped over the line with (no touching just inappropriate comments). I know people make mistakes…i’ve made one or two and i know that i love him to pieces and he loves me…things like writing love songs that are specific to me and planning our future, he just still has a bit of the player in him from his youth. We are each others first love! We’ve been together for 1 year and our love so over powering that when we’ve had silly little break-ups before we’ve run straight back into each others arms. There are trust issues like any other relationship…this worries me if there is a chance that we get back together. I applied NC straight after we broke up but this time, so did he…he blocked me on facebook (then my friend rang his phone on a night out 2 weeks after the break-up and found he had blocked my number. He has recently unblocked me but hasn’t added me back as a friend. I feel like my situation is hopeless as its coming close to one month and it will be our one year anniversary in a few days, i haven’t seen him since the break up except one night out he completley avoided me and stormed out of the club we were in. I have to see him for the first time properly on the day of our 1 year as we are both invited to the same event. A mutual acquaintance has spoken to him and told me that he is slightly relieved for the break up as we kept having little fights and arguments…and i agree, it got hard so i needed time and space, but this friend has also said hes finding it hard to ignore me, he is devastated because he was head over heels for me…i don’t know if this is actually how he feels or he’s putting on a front. What do i do on our one year? and is it possible for him to change once he realises that this time, im not coming back if he doesn’t? Thank-you ever so much 🙂

admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:55 pm

Do you have any way of contacting him at all?

Hannah

November 13, 2013 at 3:52 pm

Hey Chris! So my ex and I just broke up about a week and a half ago and haven’t really talked much since it happened so I want to fully start the no contact rule except for the fact I still have to go pick up a few things from his place. The reason for our break up he says is that right now he doesn’t want to be mutually exclusive and be in a relationship, he thinks for now the best we can be is friends. He says if it’s meant to be we’ll get back together later in life but we are both so young (21) we don’t need to be settling down with one person. He said I needed to focus on school since I will be applying for grad school soon and he just wanted to live life wherever it should take him. All of his friends say they know he loves me but he just wants to be single right now and get the college experience. Is it possible to get a guy like this back or am I wasting my time? All I want is to talk to him because he’s the person I would have turned to for the past 14 months about anything and he truly was my best friend but I know I have to be strong. Please give a girl some advice on what to do!!!! Love all of your guides!

admin

November 13, 2013 at 8:56 pm

Thanks for the kind words. Tell me what you are doing during your NC to better yourself?
Hannah

November 13, 2013 at 9:46 pm

I was able to go home last week and spend some time visiting my family. I’ve also just been spending a lot more time with my friends than I could before and pouring myself into my work.

Am

November 13, 2013 at 8:35 am

Hello I have a relationship with a married man for more than a year and I am also married. We love each other very much but in that year we had several break ups because of the difficult situation. He always comes back because he can’t live without me but can’t take a decission at home, neither do I. The last break up was September and after several discussions I will now try the nc period for the first time. Do you think this could work for our future? To know what it is without each other? At this moment he only wants friendship and I don’t want that.

admin

November 13, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Yes I really think it can.

Bel

November 12, 2013 at 8:22 am

Well is a given my relationship ended ;P. It has been 36 days since nc. When we initially broke he asked me back the next day but I wanted time to sort my head. The response was not an ok sure it was the opposite with angry words to follow. My initial response was to stop contact with him which resulted in online msg’s to the like of I guess we are not even talking. He tried to be friends with me and msg me for the same emotional support he received when I was his girlfriend. I explained to him I wasn’t interested in being his friend and providing the same emotional support if he no longer wished for the relationship. To be honest I could tell he was pretending not to care he said some things that he knows would hurt me and he knew I wanted to work on us not end it. My response to his hurtful words was you are right lets end it. He said something mean back I never responded and it has been 36 days. He contacted me midway through nc to ask for a password for an online account he has that he knows I have the details for (despite the fact he could find out himself). I have completely fallen off the radar online I don’t even log into skype and have not contacted him once and instead started having a life again. I do still have feelings for him he went from multiple “friends with benefits” to a committed relationship with me when we were together. Most people miss the peson it isn’t just the ex but the relationship what it was and what I know deep down we could have. Although without this site I think I may have caved during nc but I never did. Chris thank you for your site it has been helpful entertaining and very insightful..you are a gem.

admin

November 12, 2013 at 7:23 pm

Thanks for your kind words!

How can I help you specifically?
Bel

November 12, 2013 at 9:55 pm

Advice I guess now I think about it. I am at a stalemate. I genuinely took time during nc to look at myself. I still have feelings for him otherwise I would just let it be. He went from txt gnat at the start to angry to contacting mid way through. I am uncertain as to whether he would want to hear from me. Or maybe leave nc longer give him more breathing space.
admin

November 13, 2013 at 6:56 pm

NC a bit longer I think.

Nicole

November 12, 2013 at 12:58 am

Hello, I’ve going through my first break up with the guy I’m absolutely in love with..he ended it. It’s been about 3 weeks now, and I tried not contacting him, but after a couple days i break, and act like a lunatic texting him long texts…he has responded sometimes.And other times he just ignores me or gives me really jerkish answers.Most of the time he’s a jerk but he will however, shoot me random texts sometimes to which I respond but then i always get another ignore. He tells me he just can’t handle things with us, and etc. Do you think if I truly stick to the NC rule, It will affect him?

admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Sure it will possibly work.

Avee

November 12, 2013 at 12:57 am

Hi Chris,

It’s been a month since I applied the NC rule with, I might say, my stubborn ex bf. I am now about to text him but I would like to ask for your opinion if the first text I’m going to send him after NC will be good or not.

Here it goes – “ Hi, there’s no need for you to ask for an apology. We’ve had great times together. I’m now ok and have no regrets. Hope you’re doing great as well. Take care :-).”

I really hope you’ll be able to analyze this text message and it will be such a great help for me. Thank you so much.

admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:51 pm

Not a fan. Go with something not about the breakup. Something not as emotional but still very interesting.

Olivia

November 11, 2013 at 9:19 pm

Hey Chris! Today is my last day of NC and first off I wanna say that it really has been extremely beneficial to me. At first, I was skeptical about it, but I stuck with it and my emotions are much more stable than they were at the beginning of the breakup!

So it is my last day, and I haven’t talked to my ex at all. And he hasn’t contacted me at all. Which kind of surprised me, so I assume he is the stubborn guy you talked about. I am at the point now where I guess I am suppose to contact him soon, but honestly, I am stubborn too now, and really want him to contact me first. Will he eventually? Or should I go ahead and contact him in the next couple days?

admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:43 pm

I think the time has come for you to contact him 🙂
Olivia

November 13, 2013 at 3:47 am

So, I texted him tonight. And it was going well, he was asking me about me, and he was telling me about what was going on with him. I probably should have ended the conversation earlier than I was planning on because he beat me to it and did not text me back. So what do I do now? How long should I go again before texting him again if he doesn’t text me?
admin

November 13, 2013 at 7:39 pm

2-3 days or if he txts you first.
Olivia

November 12, 2013 at 5:07 am

Also, he broke up with me really randomly, and the relationship was a really good one so it really makes no sense. But since he initiated this random breakup, that makes me want him to contact me first, you know?

jessie

November 11, 2013 at 8:22 pm

Hi Chris! I loved the article. In the end, you mentioned that it IS possible to an “angry guy” back and I was just wondering how? Is there any different approach that should be made in getting back together with the “angry guy”.

My ex and I dated for almost 3 years, and once he started college out of nowhere he called me and dumped me on the phone, a lot of very rude and hurtful things were said. I (STUPIDLY) spent about a week and a half trying to talk things through with him and fix things, which only drove him further away. So i started NC. I’ve been doing NC for a few weeks now, but I am still deeply in love with my ex. Is there any chance of getting him back? And if so, HOW?!

admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:36 pm

Yes patience patience patience.

Also, you really need to dig deep and figure out the root of their anger. Admitedly, some angry guys will be impossible to get back but those are usually rarer cases.

Renee

November 11, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Hi Chris! I’m going through my first break up. So there is this guy who has never had a gf (around 22) and I’ve never had a bf..so we were trying this relationship thing out. Thing is, I had to teach him throughout the entire relationship of how to be a bf because he doesn’t have any women influences in his life. I was fine with this- it’s just it would take him longer to understand things and he would disappoint me. We broke up about 2 weeks ago with minimal contact and I’m a mess! He said that he didn’t expect a relationship to be like this and that he simple wasn’t ready. Fine. But the problem is he was flirting with a girl while we were going through the breakup and they remain good friends. I don’t think this will escalate to a relationship because he now knows what a relationship feels like, but I feel replaced by her so quickly. He already has another best friend and seems to have forgotten all about me. These articles are really helping me realize what goes on in the guys mind… But I have questions.
-wil the NC really work on him? He specifically told me that he wants to give me time and is patiently ready for me to come back as a friend…basically he told me to take all the time I need
-at any point will he actually miss me? He is the type that need someone…ANYONE to distract himself from me. It is likely that if he moves on from the current girl, he will just find someone else to fill the void therefore not really missing my presence.
-he truly and sincerely wants to be friends. Like we started off as really good friends and we thought we could have a relationship but now that things are over, he really doesn’t wanna lose my friendship in his life. He says that if we are meant to be together later,
It’ll happen. But for now, he doesn’t wanna lose my friendship.

I do want him back. I know the breakup is still fresh, but idk if it’s possible to get a guy back that isn’t ready to be in a relAtionship. Will he ever realize the love and care I gave him? Will he ever want to be with me again?

Thanks in advance, you are doing great work for damaged women.

admin

November 11, 2013 at 7:06 pm

Sorry for your first breakup :(.

Have you tried NC? I think it can work on him.
Renee

November 11, 2013 at 3:33 pm

One note to add…. I feel like he’s truly moved on. I feel like he will be satisfied with flirting/talking to girls for the rest of his life until marriage time and he will really be okay without me.
admin

November 11, 2013 at 7:03 pm

Well, maybe but maybe not. You can’t read his mind. He may be going crazy without you but he is too proud to do anything about.

akanksha

November 11, 2013 at 11:22 am

my boyfriend talked to me after nc and said he was not talking to me and doesn’t want to talk because by talking he wud not b able to control his feelings towards me and at any case he dont want that so he wont talk to me
nd by talking he is very rude jst to control his feelings
what shud i do ? 🙁
plz plz help

admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:41 pm

I guess thats a good sign that he still has that deep of feelings for you.
akanksha

November 12, 2013 at 12:12 pm

yes i know he still feels for me that is why i wanna go back to him
but he doesnt answer my calls and dont reply to my messages nd jst says he dont want to continue and if he will talk he wont b able to contron
what shud b my next step to make him realise he has taken a wrong decesion and m still yhere for him
i want him back at any cost 🙁
admin

November 12, 2013 at 7:32 pm

What have you done so far?
akanksha

November 13, 2013 at 10:36 am

After break up i have tried nc but failed in a week then again did it for a month and contacted him after nc and realized that by not contacting him he is forgetting me
he told me that if he talks to me he will not be able to control his emotions
and after that he did not contact me
nd if he does then jst a little reply of ny thing imp
and says that he do not want to talk anything out of the way
i want him back plz help plz
admin

November 13, 2013 at 8:21 pm

Well its pretty easy. Don’t fail in NC.
akanksha

November 14, 2013 at 10:06 am

but i have already done nc for 31 days
after failing in 1st nc
shud i do it again ?
admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:44 pm

Only if you see a need to.

Beth

November 9, 2013 at 2:48 am

Hi Chris…What would you suggest for this situation…my ex-boyfriend and I dated for 3 years, we broke up but still saw each other/talked daily for one more year, and now we’re on not very good terms…I’m pretty sure he has a new girl in his life, he wants to be single and acts sick of me, (but let me assure you, he is VERY jealous of anything I do…clearly still likes me, if I start seeing a new guy which I have before, he will be very upset and has cried about it before & confesses his love for me, etc.) …my question is, how do I do NC and get him to want me again in a situation where we’ve already been broken up for almost a year but still seeing each other, and now he is ignoring me and tired of me?

admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:44 am

I guess you can just do it hahahahaha.

Pauline

November 8, 2013 at 10:25 pm

Hi Chris, first like to say that you have some great info on here and it helps to see things a bit more in perspective. I was wondering though. My ex and I broke up some 4 months ago, but then kept trying to find solutions to our problems, with me getting more and more emotional, needy and angry. In the end he said there’s no hope for us and it’s better to have no contact for a while. He would like to keep me as a friend in the long run. So now I’ve been in NC for almost 3 weeks, but I wonder if NC will actually be of any use if he is the one who initiated it? Im doing him a favour, so why would he care that I don’t contact him? I know the NC can help me to become more myself again, but will it have any effect on him?

admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:15 am

I think it can be but it all depends on what you do AFTER NC.

akanksha

November 8, 2013 at 6:03 pm

hey my boyfriend has a very solid reason of being angry with me its been around 32 days of nc but no call from him and no response of my call
should i again go for nc ? plz help 🙁

admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:27 pm

No you should contact him now. You are allowed to contact after NC.
akanksha

November 9, 2013 at 1:41 am

but he is not replying me after nc 🙁
says he is more happy without me but how is this possible after a 2 yr relationship we were so happy together 🙁
what should i do i cannot live without him
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:31 am

How long have you been in NC though?

Jj

November 8, 2013 at 5:40 pm

As a general rule – When do you think men start feeling bad about the way they have treated you? when does guilt start to kick in?

admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:25 pm

2 weeks – 2 months hahaha.

Linda

November 8, 2013 at 2:50 pm

Hey Chris 🙂
Your Site is amazing and helps me a lot to understand my boyfriend better.
But at the moment I am really confused, I’ve been doing NC for 3 weeks now and he has not contacted me once, even though he used to text me everyday (when I wasn’t strong enough to do NC). Last week my best friend told me that my Ex texted her randomly asking how she’s doing and stuff. He also asked her how I was doing but then he changed the topic immediately.
Do you think I should leave him alone for good, because i feel like he moved on now?
(I’m sorry for my bad English, I’m from Austria :D)

admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Bad english?

More like perfect english!

Keep doing NC. And no I think you should give this a shot when NC ends.
Linda

November 8, 2013 at 8:53 pm

Aww thank you 🙂
Well.. the last time we spoke he said, he will text me if HE wants to, that’s why I worry so much. But i still have a week so let’s hope he contacts me haha.
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:02 am

Even if he doesn’t its completely ok.

A

November 8, 2013 at 3:04 am

I commented on here a few weeks ago, but I find this article really helpful. I have been in NC with my ex since we broke up, 14 days ago. Yesterday, he called me midday, then again right after work. He then texted me a picture of my parking pass that he has and said “ok so should I just mail it to you then” I didn’t respond, because a mutual friend had already agreed to get the pass from him for me. I am in the position where I don’t want to talk or think about him, and after the 30 days I would reevaluate if I want to make the effort to try to get back together or move on. He called me again after work, and I ignored the call again. Everyone is telling me to answer his calls and see what he wants, but I really don’t want to break no contact, and since a friend is going to get the parking pass for me, I don’t see a reason to break it to talk about exchanging items. It seems like this is the “mid caller” version, so I’m wondering, should I answer his calls, or continue to ignore him?

admin

November 8, 2013 at 6:42 pm

Hmmm good question. Continue ignoring him.
A

November 9, 2013 at 12:13 am

Ok. He called me again today, then immediately after I got a call from a restricted number. I assumed it was him so I didn’t answer. What should I do if I answer a call from an unknown number, and it turns out to be him? What do I do in that situation?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:25 am

Just talk a little bit but then have to go. Be nice and everything but try to be a little short with him.
A

November 9, 2013 at 11:04 pm

Well nevermind, I answered an unknown number that turned out to be him and he wanted to exchange things, since I had some contacts of his that I forgot I had, and I told him a mutual friend would get my stuff from him/I’d give her his stuff, and he got mad asking why I didn’t just ask him for the stuff, and I told him I didn’t want to talk to him. He then asked me when I was going to see this friend again and I said I dunno and he got mad and said “fine if you want to do it that way” and hung up on me. What does this mean??
admin

November 10, 2013 at 1:31 am

It means he didn’t get his way and is acting like a baby.
A

November 23, 2013 at 10:21 pm

So last weekend my friend was over at his house hanging out with her friend. She asked my ex if she could get my parking pass from him. I don’t know what he said to her but he texted me a message saying “So instead of inconveniencing other people why don’t you grow up and work with me to exchange stuff” I didn’t respond. I haven’t wanted to respond to his messages because they have all been a little condescending. the 30 days NC is over today, but I don’t know if I want to contact him, since the last time we talked it didn’t go well and I am stubborn and mad that his texts have all been mean. Also I think he has a bad aftertaste based on our last phone call and the messages that he’s sent me.
admin

November 24, 2013 at 7:10 pm

Well what is your first text looking like?
A

November 25, 2013 at 3:31 am

Well I saw him at a bar last night, and he came up to me and we had a conversation. He said that he was sorry about how he ended things, and that he handled it all wrong, and that he wasn’t ready for a relationship right now. He also said that he wanted me to be able to hang out with him and his friends if I wanted to. I think I might have been a rebound for him, do you think there’s a chance I could get him to want a relationship again? I’m not sure what I should text to him since we had a real conversation last night and he knows I was upset.
admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Just let things cool for a little bit and then text him.

DJ

November 7, 2013 at 8:04 pm

Don’t know if I’m dealing with stubborn guy or angry guy..

Went into nc with ex almost a year. I didn’t like how I was being treated ( appreciation, lack of responding, lame excuses). Figured his interest lied elsewhere because he wasn’t previously like this towards me. I think we both went into nc duel once he realized I was in it. He has a big EGO.

He attempted to reach out but in ways to make me think I was an afterthought. Late night texts, late birthday message, etc. then months later said he loved me and we hadn’t been in contact. We finally meet up but in person seemed very matter of fact. I asked how he’d been and he was vague and indifferent.

Why mention feelings then act this way in person and now not answer texts?

Mind games, stubborn guy, or what.

admin

November 8, 2013 at 5:58 pm

Hahah sounds to me like you are dealing with a hybrid. A bit of stubborn and a bit of angry.
DJ

November 9, 2013 at 9:41 pm

Don’t know if I’m dealing with stubborn guy or angry guy..

Went into nc with ex almost a year. I didn’t like how I was being treated ( appreciation, lack of responding, lame excuses). Figured his interest lied elsewhere because he wasn’t previously like this towards me. I think we both went into nc duel once he realized I was in it. He has a big EGO.

He attempted to reach out but in ways to make me think I was an afterthought. Late night texts, late birthday message, etc. then months later said he loved me and we hadn’t been in contact. We finally meet up but in person seemed very matter of fact. I asked how he’d been and he was vague and indifferent.

Why mention feelings then act this way in person and now not answer texts?

Mind games, stubborn guy, or what.

Does his actions mean he still has feelings and trying to appear like he doesn’t?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 1:27 am

I love that you ladies actually read that. Haha my corny Chris speak of “stubborn guy and angry guy” hahaha.

Maybe a bit of both. Stubborn, angry and mind games all wrapped into one.
DJ

November 10, 2013 at 3:27 pm

Soooooo, if he is being a hybrid of stubborn/angry does that he still has feelings. After our initial meet up, I haven’t heard anything from him I sent two messages and no response. When we met up, he didn’t even ask how I had been while we were apart.

He seemed distant during meet up. I feel like he is thinking “why should I talk to her now or be available when she didn’t care for a year” I did care but went nc because of some things.

Could he be done if he told me he loved me last month. During meet up, I was very friendly and didn’t bring up past at all. Maybe he didn’t like me being so happy.
admin

November 10, 2013 at 10:08 pm

Its just going to take some time. Some patience on your part. Do a better job of establishing that emotional connection with him.
DJ

November 11, 2013 at 3:13 am

Thank you.

I have told him how I felt and asked if we could talk again, but got no response as of yet.

I will let him come to me. Maybe he needs time or maybe he’s no longer interested. His actions now just don’t match with the sentiment he previously expressed just recently.

In my gut, I just feel something is still there.
admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:21 pm

I agree let him come to you.

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