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Monica
December 28, 2013 at 12:13 am
I’m just finishing up day 5 of no contact. In the section about NC, I asked whether I should send Merry Christmas/Happy New Years texts, and you said no, but you bet he’d send me one. Well he did (and I didn’t answer), so you were right, yay Chris! Anyways, I know it’s only day 5 but I have questions flying around in my head:
1. He is the kind of guy, that if I don’t talk to him, he’ll more likely than not think that I don’t want to talk to him and I’m moving on, even though I told him before NC that I wanted to work things out. Could that be a possible mindset? And is there anything I can/should do about it?
2. Also another mindset… what if he decides he’s happy single, even after almost a year and a half with me? He told me I was his first serious girlfriend, one other was 8 months, tops, I think and the others, not even that. He was the kind of guy that had enjoyed the company of many women, if you get me. So what if he decides during this period that he wants to go back to his old ways?
3. And what about after NC, what if when I’m trying to open up communication again, he asks me why I ignored him for a month?
admin
December 28, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Hahhahaha I get all the questions flying around. It is scary to do NC but the truth is that it is the smartest thing you can do b/c more likely than not he is going to realize how good he had it with you.
Monica
December 29, 2013 at 4:05 am
He just blocked me on twitter, Instagram, and Facebook and I did absolutely nothing to make him mad. I put up a status about how I was going to see a DJ in NYC tonight and about 35 min later he put up a status saying something like “screw it. I’m sick of being home for so long. Goin out and having some fun”. I didn’t mean for the status to make him mad, I was just updating. Why would he block me?
admin
December 29, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Its just a guy thing. Don’t take it personally. If anythign it just proves he is thinking about you.
Monica
December 30, 2013 at 12:08 am
I really just want to say thank you, Chris. you’re so amazing for answering all of these questions that everyone has. I know I’m the kind of person that, if I have a question, I’m gonna ask it and it gives me a peace of mind that there is a real guy with real guy thoughts (gasp!) answering them. This entire site has already done so much to help me, even if it was just to snap me back into reality if I was diving into a negative spiral about my entire situation. I just KNOW my ex and I are going to get back together because of the materials that you’ve provided me. I’ve already read your book a couple times and I’m genuinely excited to implement the steps.
I’m sure I’m going to have some more questions to throw at you soon, but for now, I just wanted to express my gratitude! 🙂
admin
December 30, 2013 at 8:26 pm
Express away!
Monica
December 28, 2013 at 4:58 am
Ugh. ugh ugh ugh ugh. I caved. 5 days in, Chris, and I caved. This is what I just texted him:
“Hi Johnny”
“Just hoping you had a good Christmas and wishing you a fantastic new year. Have a good nightt :)”
(i’m one of those people that is sickeningly nice, and I hate it)
His response was neutral as far as I can tell which was: “Same to you”. It wasn’t angry or negative, because when he’s mad, he’ll use periods. Did those two texts ruin everything? Was the neutrality a bad sign?
I was SO weak just then and I regret it SO much. 30 days plus another 5 of NC for me!!
Krizia Gonzalez
December 27, 2013 at 11:36 pm
My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago. We dated over 2 years and recently just moved to Florida together. We live together. I cried, I begged, I looked desperate and he said some terribly harsh things. He’s seeing someone new, someone he works with who is telling everything he wants to hear. and is lying about it and while I’ve been in Another state for the holidays I found out he’s been bringing her to our apartment. We were fighting a lot about money and he says I brought him down about chores. I miss him and care about him deeply. How do I do the no contact rule while I live with him? I am moving out but I need a month to find some place. I haven’t tried to contact him at all during Christmas or anything but he is suppose to pick me up from the airport.
admin
December 28, 2013 at 7:31 pm
Well you should contact him if he is supposed to pick you up.
MT
December 27, 2013 at 5:14 pm
So i tried NC and he became the frantic caller turned ignorer. because of which i slipped and told him i like him and that i miss him. he said okay.
now hes blowing hot and cold. messaging alot on a few days and ignoring me sometimes.
what do i do?
Alisha
December 28, 2013 at 6:01 pm
Why exactly do guys do that? One minute it’s like they are trying for you again and the next it’s the end of that and so on..
Natalie
December 27, 2013 at 1:16 pm
Chris it’s Natalie again. I did NC for 24 days (after I begged non-stop for 2 months) and it worked.. he texted me on Christmas Eve, I replied: “you too”. Yesterday I casually texted him, he replied and we ended up exchanging like 10 texts remembering stuff we liked to do together. He ended the conv by saying talk to you later and sent me a kiss. I dont know if he really meant that we would talk again or he was just saying that..
What should I do next?? I think that what happened is that we had spent the last 3 Christmas together so this one reminded him of me. What can I do to get us chatting again??
admin
December 27, 2013 at 7:47 pm
Leave him wanting more.
Natalie
December 30, 2013 at 11:53 am
how do I do that? He hasn’t contacted me since that talk, which I initiated. I did text him 2 days after that talk and asked him if he was back in the country (he went away for Christmas)and he did not reply. I guess I have to wait for him to do it? I reeeeally don’t wanna act like a fool, texting him and getting no answer..
Caitlin
December 27, 2013 at 7:37 am
Hi Chris,
So I apologize that this is so complex, but that’s my life. It sucks. My best friend just sent me a message saying she was skyping with my ex, and he was complaining about how I wasn’t talking to him. What am I supposed to do? My best friend will blab to him if I say that I’m still in love with him. I hate that we share the same best friend, but we do and it sucks. I found this website like a good month after the breakup so we were on good terms by then and I was his friend. I had already babysat his dog while he was in school. But then I found this and started doing it. This is the problem with starting the program late. I was on good terms with my ex and so it’s confusing the hell out of him why I’m doing NC and might make him really angry. Yeah it’ll make him miss me but it’ll piss him off. What the hell am I supposed to do?? How do I explain myself to my best friend?
Caitlin
December 27, 2013 at 8:46 pm
I’m not planning to contact him, but what explanation do I give to my friend?
admin
December 28, 2013 at 7:12 pm
Just say you need some time.
admin
December 27, 2013 at 7:37 pm
Don’t contact him until NC is up. You don’t owe your ex anything right now.
Melody
December 27, 2013 at 12:32 am
HELP! I am on day 8 on NC. However, my ex had been texting me days 5-7 and even showed up one day to “get some of his things” but he only took a few chargers and stuff, no clothes! He was living with me prior to the break up and has not taken anything with him except a backpack of clothes on the first day he left. He was trying to spend Christmas with me and stuff but I refused. I have ignored most of his texts(except the ones about his things and I kept it down to 1 or 2 word responses). When he showed up here unexpectedly, he asked why had I packed his things. He also noticed I packed the promise ring he recently gave me and he pleaded with me to keep it. I said I didn’t want it and so when he left, he left it for me on my steps. Anyway, I have done well to not contact him at all, and I deleted my facebook. However, mutual friends have come to me and told me he’s posting very angry statuses and he is not acting himself. He also has a rebound in the picture and is posting statuses about her. I feel like he’s doing all this to try to get a reaction out of me. Like on Christmas morning he was texting me and I ignored it, so he started texting like he was really mad. He posted on facebook something about how he bough “someone”(he’s referring to me) Christmas gifts and he’s all alone on Christmas and didn’t get a thing. I’m really confused! He hasn’t said anything to me about wanting to get back together, but his actions are as if he wants me to try to be with him, and then he gets angry because I don’t give him what he wants. Then there’s this stupid rebound that I feel like he’s pretending to like so much. Can I really win him back after all this and how?
admin
December 27, 2013 at 7:26 pm
Yes you can.
And you have such a pretty name might I add.
Alanna
December 26, 2013 at 6:42 pm
Hi, Chris!
First of all I would just like to say you’re an angel. I found your website yesterday. Okay, so I think I might have a special case. My ex’s mom died a few years ago, and he definitely has some abandonment issues which I think played into our breakup because he got too close to me and got scared. You know what I’m saying? Like his relationship with his mom is going to affect all relationships he has with girls. So I think it’s really possible he may have consciously or subconsciously sabotaged the relationship because he had the mind set “I’m going to leave before she does.” Because beforehand he was saying things like “I want to marry you”, “I’d like to become apart of your family”, “I’m never leaving you, baby.” We broke up about a month ago (on Thanksgiving -_-). He broke up with me because (his words) he didn’t have time, and I lived too far away (a whole 20 minutes — rolling my eyes). I told him I still wanted to be friends and that I would always be there for him. He was like “yeah we can still talk.”The day after we broke up I didn’t text him all day, but around 6 he texted me that his favorite movie was on. (??? I thought that was weird behavior) It was a really short conversation about four texts long. I was missing him about two hours later so I wanted to see his picture a la Facebook. This was when I realized he had blocked me.???????? I have never once in my life said a mean word to him. Our breakup wasn’t bad. I don’t know if he was like talking to others girls and assumed they would post on his wall and didn’t want me to see or what. So I texted him “why am I blocked?” and he goes “you are? ” and blames it on his best friend. We had quite a long funny conversation after that. Then the next day I text him and he starts talking about these girls he is texting. And how one of them is smoking hot. So me being me I said “Can’t you tell them to leave you alone :(” and he texts back “ugh (hug)”. Then he told me he doesn’t want to date right now. Anyways, he also told me a little after that he had this massive crush on this different girl. But we continued to have funny light conversations about everday for two weeks. I was getting so annoyed about those girls, though. Also, our conversations were getting much shorter the third week where I would only get an “lol” for a response. There was a period where I didn’t text him for three days. I decided I needed to move on, but talking to other guys just made me miss him so much. After a few days after not texting him at all (again about three), I wrote him this huge email about how I missed him, everything guys did that reminded me of him, and that I wanted to get back together. He texed me “idk” then “sorry I’ve been snowmobiling with someone a lot lately.” As in ANOTHER girl. I also realized he so has time. He proceeded to tell me they run around all night together, but didn’t know if he was going to date her. Conversation, conversation, I said I was okay with it all, and we agreed we were buddies. I didn’t text him for five days. Then I did. And again that night telling him I wasn’t going to abandon him and that I was always here to listen. (He always always always talked to me when something was wrong/bothering him.) He replied that he would always be there for me, too. I didn’t reply because I didn’t really think I needed to. Then Christmas day he texts me merry Christmas FIRST! Whooooa. That was a shock. He never does that. So I texted him back humorously saying that all I wanted was for Christmas was for him to unblock me on Facebook. Cause I was still blocked.????? Why? I have no idea. He replies with “Why???”
ME:”Why not?”
HIM: “Why do you want me to?”
ME: “Why do you not want to?”
HIM: “I asked you first.”
ME: “I asked you second. Whoa.”
HIM: “Be serious”
Then I told him I thought it was weird, and he texted me “No its not just that now is it”. I told him it wasn’t and that I blocked people when they were rude so I thought it was weird that I was blocked. I asked him whar reason he thought I had (at 5:31 PM Christmas day). He replied “I don’t know.” this morning. I am assuming he thought it was because I didn’t want to move on and missed him and wanted to look at his pictures. Because that was the reason I initially found out I was blocked — he had asked why I was on his Facebook anyways so I was truthful. I didn’t reply to him this morning, though. ***Also, when he uses periods it means he is upset. And there was a period this morning. Anyways, is no contact still okay if he says he needs me? Like to talk. Because I said I would be there for him and his mom issues factor in.
admin
December 27, 2013 at 6:52 pm
Yes it definitely is.
Lexi Dawson
December 26, 2013 at 5:07 pm
I cheated on my biyfriend but techniqally he wasnt we broke it off in july and he said he wanted to wait until we were a bit older and I said fine but he stopped talking to me and got annoyed because I was texting him everyother day he said he wanted space we were on a break so I said fine and stopped and then I sent him a picture of my chest and he started talking to me normal again but only if I sent him dirty pictures so I did then he ignored me again so I hung out with this guy and we had sex (if my boyfriend and I were as close as we were before summer I would have never done it but it was becasuse he treated me like yesterdays trash that I did it) it was terrible I hated it I felt so disgusted about myself I told him to stop and we went back to school. I kept it from my ex for abiut a month and then I couldnt take it anymore and we were talking and I told him I have to tell you something and I told him and he freaked out he swore at me called.me horrible names that still burn in my mind and I dont think will ever go away and he told me to fuck off amd get out of his life forever. I have done NC since December 9 and then a few days ago I sent him a fb friend request and he denied it so I stopped again now I just read this artical and I realized hes the angry one will he ever talk to me again? Ive read you what to text back artical and I could think of any examples I ciuld use. I want him back chris hes the most greatest thing that has ever happend to me id do anything for him and id do anything to get him back I love him we were together for over a year and its been the greatest year of my life I messed up and if I could take it back I woild please help me
Alina
December 26, 2013 at 6:08 am
Hi Chris, me again… 🙂 so it’s been almost 3 weeks since the brake up and my ex ( the mid caller) decided to call, txt and email. I did not responded, and let me tell u, it feels good to ignore him! I got him where I want him. His excuse was ” to wish me a Merry Xmas” when the first thing that came out his mouth was that Xmas meant nothing to him, also called to say that if I ever needed help or someone to talk to that he will always be there oh and that just bc we has our differences doent mean he doesn’t care or love me ( but this morning my friend saw him coming out of a nasty motel with his ex girlfriend) what a joke some men can be… I’m in the process of moving to another area code… I still love him but he feels so secure I’m gonna call him ask for help, wtf? Not once I asked for money or anything while we were together so why is he offering help now? I don’t need it. I’m very strong and I will never ever ever contact him. ” gonna seat back and watch the craziness ensue” Chris words 😉 thank you!
admin
December 26, 2013 at 6:26 pm
He is just being nice or maybe the Christmas spirit got him.
Alina
December 27, 2013 at 12:51 am
Should I continue the NC rule?
admin
December 27, 2013 at 7:22 pm
Yes mam
Alisha
December 25, 2013 at 3:19 pm
I need help. 4 weeks ago I found out that he was dating other girls. I should have enforce no contact right at the moment when I found out but I didn’t. Instead we quarrel a little here and there and we got together as fwb. Then I enforced one week of no contact and told him I don’t want fwb. During this one week of no contact, he thought I don’t want to be his friend. I initiate contact after a week and he was happy but he seems to not really want to meet up. Then I started to check in with guys in fb and eventually he initiated and started to tell me sorry and why he couldn’t meet up that day and started to answer my questions that I had asked. But nothing about us getting back together and start anew. And then we agreed to send each other a New Years card with what we want to accomplish next year but at the same time I’m thinking about doing a 30 days no contact bc when he apologized and told me and thank me for the things I did. I tested him to see if he mean it and if he would make an effort to see me but he didn’t respond. So that’s why I’m thinking about doing the 30 days no contact but at the same time I have to send him a card next week so idk what to do. Help? Should I send him the card? What happen if there’s a surprise I’m the card? Which I highly doubt tho. Or should I just do no contact n forget about the card?
admin
December 26, 2013 at 6:02 pm
I think you should definitely do the 30 day NC rule.
Alyssa
December 24, 2013 at 8:58 am
I started dating a guy back in June/July. Things moved pretty quickly, we both hadn’t felt like this for another person in years. He left the beginning of August for a friends wedding back home 12 hours away and came back saying he wanted to move back home and was homesick and put things between us on hold until he made a decision. 2 weeks later he took me to meet his family back home for his sisters wedding but we went “as friends” since he hadn’t made up his mind about moving back. We slept together for the first time on that trip. When we got back home we were inseparable, he decided not to move back but said we should continue dating and if he decided to move he wanted me to move with him, he started talking about “when we get married, have babies”. My lease in my apartment was coming to an end and he asked me to move in. I agreed and told him I’d move in as long as we were in a committed relationship. He said he wanted to be together but right now we weren’t “bf/gf” even though we were moving in together. I decided not to move in and 4 days later he said “I think it’s better we just be friends”. at first I have him space then I begged and pleaded. That didn’t work so I went quiet for a few days. He texted me one Sat morning “are you don’t crying yet?” I replied yes and from there he was texting me every weekend and some during the week. It was clockwork. He invited me to his work fundraiser for cancer patients out of the blue and it was the first time we saw each other in a 1.5 months. From then on he was wanting to see me all the time, initiating all contact and calling, dinner, movies, helped me shop for my new car. I didn’t ever bring up the relationship and we didn’t do anything physical and if we went days without speaking I didn’t freak out because I knew I’d hear from him. He started getting flirty with me again and saying sweet things so by Wednesday 12/18/3013 I told him I still had feelings for him to which he replied “I don’t have feelings for you and we won’t be getting back together and if you can’t accept that, then we can’t be friends” so I told him we shouldn’t speak anymore and I blocked him on Facebook. Today is day 6. We ended things October 5 and he stayed in contact with me, this will be the longest we’ve gone without speaking.if I did ignore him texts, he’d reply again or send something like a picture of something for my advice or say “your turn”. I’m not sure if I can get him “back” since he said he has no feelings, I just don’t understand why he’d string me along and take me out, initiate every conversation and I just played it cool thinking it’d eventually evolve. I guess I need to use NC to just move on because apparently he just wants to be friends. I’m not sure if I’ll hear from him during NC.
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:33 pm
Look at it this way, you have nothing to lose with NC.
Rachel
December 24, 2013 at 5:06 am
So, I am just confused. I get the NC rule, but I’m a teenager and my boyfriend and I broke up and I’m trying to get him back. I’m what you call addicted to twitter, so in addition to the NC rule, I stopped tweeting. Is this good, as well? It’s also hard to run into him since we don’t live in the same town, so should I put like one or two a month just to let him know I’m fine without him? I don’t know how social networks should be run during the NC rule..
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:22 pm
I actually wrote a guide on Facebook on this site.
Coco
December 23, 2013 at 3:12 am
He and I met knowing that i’d have to leave to live abroad so we kinda started with the wrong foot. We were together for two intense short months and then i had to leave, but we decided to stay together LD. I wasnt emotionally stable and when he could not handle the drama anymore he broke up with me, thinking that he’d have to put up with the long distance situation for months. I got all furious about it and told him that i never wanted to see him again but then because of my health i had to go back home so the situation got weirder; we met a few times and he said that he didn’t want to get back together because i’d be eventually leaving again and although he didnt say so i know that i may have worn him out emotionally, plus he knows that i am both emotionally and physically fragile so i suppose that he is just afraid of the ‘moral responsibilities/expectations/dont know?’ that being with me might imply. He did mention that he was not interested in compromise, but before I left things were different and we frequently talked about possible futures together. I’ve been insistently contacting him for like 3 months since we broke up and even though he has been very constant about where he’s standing when we made out I could just tell that he was still ‘there’ although that was about a month ago. I just found your blog so I suppose I should start with NC but will it work even if I’ve been screwing things up for months now? Should I do it for more than a month?
admin
December 23, 2013 at 8:16 pm
It can work for sure!
Private
December 22, 2013 at 9:43 pm
Hey! thanx!
the NC worked during my 8 month relationship with my ex-boyfriend. He broke up with me just 2 days ago, and i didn’t text him yet. He broke up with me coz i was supposed to celebrate the christmas with him and his family in his country. But i couldn’t coz i have to be with my family in this time. I told him i can’t and i’m moving to your country after the new year. He became angry and didn’t like the fact that he has to wait for me 2 more weeks. (It’s a 8 month distance relation). I lived in his country for study, and i had to leave 1 month after our relation because of my study!
i told him many times this relation is hard for me, if i move to his country i will make my parents angry and lose my lectures at the university (but i don’t miss my exams). and always when i breake up with him because of the stress or because off simple mistakes that he makes, he always come back, begging me to take him back, crying for me! 1 week before we broke up he fight with me because he wanted me to travel to him as soon as i could. but i couldn’t because off my family. i stop talking to him and he always came back to talk, and when i don’t replay or answer him late, he is becoming angry and crazy! and he just broke up with me and told me he will delete me and block my number. i told him okay, tell ur parents merry christmas from me, and i told him i will enjoy my life and im deleting him too. he didn’t replay and i didn’t say anything after that. we didn’t talk in 2 days now… I sent him a picture off me the same day we broke up in the afternoon, and he said he miss me and he love me and he just became angry and crazy wanting me to book to his country,, but i just couldn’t and he broke up! he couldn’t wait 2 weeks!!! what should i do and do you think he’s happy now?
(sorry for my english)
admin
December 23, 2013 at 7:59 pm
So, you have been in NC for a total of 2 days?
boys and pictures???
December 26, 2013 at 9:34 pm
Yes, I broke the NC after day 3. I sent him a msg wishing him a merry christmas and he wished me the same. i though the next day he will send me something, but no… so i started to text him again. i don’t know what happened we just started to discuss about the reason we broke up… i made him realize that he took the wrong decision and he should wait 2 weeks for me. it’s just 2 weeks. He said yes it was stupid but he is tired to wait for me.
during the conversation i just observed that he is playing hard to get.. it’s irritable! so i decided to tell him that i’m not even sure if i want to be in relation with him one day, but i’m talking with him just coz i miss him, that’s all… he told me “fuck you” than i sent him nice pictures off me and showing him my middle finger. he sent me a picture off him showing his middle finger too… after i just ended the conversation. he started to be rude so i told him “omg, bye”.. and i turned off my iMessage. and now he is texting me asking why i’m not answering him… so do you think i should doing the NC?
and why he is initiative texting me after he saw my picture? it has been 2 weeks since last time i sent him a nice picture off me. the picture i sent him now, i was wearing a short dress and nice natural make up with my long hair, and just showing my middle finger. i always used to send him this kind of picture before:P and i observed too that every time we fight i often sending him pictures off me when i’m angry against him showing my middle finger “just to tell him fuck u” and everytime he is just becoming crazy begging me to take him back… huh? is that a picture power or what? 😛
sorry for my english! my language is norwegian, sorry 🙂
Danielle
December 22, 2013 at 6:53 pm
Hi Chris,
I really enjoy all the articles you have available it gives me hope with my current situation. Therefore, let me give you a background of my situation. My ex boyfriend and I dated for three years, we broke up in early October. We were in limited contact (which I initiated all of) in October and a little of November. During this limited contact my ex told me that he did not feel as though he could move forward with our relationship. He also said we could be friends and told me I need to move on and find someone better that can make me happy. He always made me happy, but I will admit I had a terrible way of showing it. I wasn’t always the nicest person to him and sometimes tried to control our relationship. I knew it was wrong and I did apologize to him, but clearly he had enough. Now I am currently 40 of NC and haven’t heard from him once, it starting to make me lose hope. I recently found out that he is seeing someone new as well, someone he works with. I dont know how long they have been together, but we jave been broken up for 2 1/2 months. Last weekend I was also through a mutual friend of ours that he texted him saying that he misses me, yet I still haven’t heard a word from him. How can you miss someone and not contact them? Therefore, my question to you Chris is do I still have hope? Is this relationship he is in a rebound? I miss him very much and have made wonderful improvements to myself in these past few months, but I don’t know want to regret anything later in life.
Thank you for all you do Chris!
Neema
December 21, 2013 at 1:20 am
Hey
I just want an advice
I started the NC but I had to break it for urgent things , it lasted for 10 days but when we talked he told me that he misses me many times
to be clear I broke up with him .. I was too emotional and couldn’t think so he got very angry
beside that he was already angry at me and we had many fights
but when we talked it seems like he is not angry anymore but sometimes I feel that he is unhappy
when I talk to him I feel like he still have feelings for me but he never starts the conversation ! I feel like he wants to talk to me but maybe he is too stubborn to do this
should I start the NC again so he would miss me more or stay talking to him and starting the conversation but not everyday of course or should I wait for him to talk to me ?
and I have another question please .. I think he still have feelings for me already .. how can I make them grow like we used to be?
please answer my questions 🙂
and sorry for the bad english, it’s not my first language
aimes
December 20, 2013 at 11:10 am
wait, so after you do the whole NC thing? what do u do after? do u reply? LOL
admin
December 21, 2013 at 3:44 am
No you initiate contact the way I suggest.
Monica
December 20, 2013 at 9:23 am
We broke up 11 days ago… NC for 9.. and he randomly deleted me and all my best friends off facebook.. Is this a way of showing hes done for good??
admin
December 21, 2013 at 3:41 am
No… it’s his way of showing that he is going through a breakup..
Christine
December 19, 2013 at 3:00 pm
He texted me for two days during my NC period. The first was a hi and the second one on the next day was a just sad face. He stopped saying anything after having no response from me. Should I reply? Why did he stop contacting me too? (I’m sure he wasn’t angry)
Anonymous
December 18, 2013 at 8:39 pm
Your comment about how you see every interaction as a power struggle made me legit LOL. I am that way too and all my friends find me absolutely crazy for it.
My ex ended it with me about two months ago after some not so nice things I did. I didn’t lie or cheat but I definitely bruised his ego and played into his insecurities. I have a tendency to take it a little far with the “ungettable girl” and the chase, which works for some guys indefinitely, but looking back I think my ex saw it as me being stand offish and uninterested.
He definitely was the angry guy after it ended. We see each other three days a week for a couple of classes and he does this really cute thing where he pretends like I don’t exist: sits away from me, avoids contact, avoids any chance at interaction between us, etc. He even started flirting (really loudly) with another girl.
I sent him a couple of friendly texts after he ended it to test the waters and got no response. I decided to leave him alone and go into NC for about 15 days because I feared not contacting him for any longer would have the opposite effect, since he felt I wasn’t interested? Like that would kind of prove it to him, you know? He was a mixture of positive and neutral once I reached out to him again but he always makes an effort to respond.
I know you’re waiting for the but… I accidentally (no, really) sent him a text meant for another conversation at the start of the week. It was possibly the worst text ever to be accidentally sent to an ex in the history of this website. It basically said I only attract creeps and went on to talk about a guy in another one of my classes sending me a not PG 13 photo. He responded back within less than a minute and said, “That makes me a creep. Sure seems like you’re seeing a lot of (not nice word for a male part) lately.” BURN. I sent him back a text basically saying I didn’t think he was a creep. He never responded.
Any way I can diffuse this situation? Should I go back into NC? I haven’t contacted him since that incident. Is there any hope?
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:06 pm
Sometimes being silent says the most. So yes, I think NC is ideal.