The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

4,271 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

Tamsin

February 17, 2014 at 7:31 pm

Hi Chris,
I messaged beforehand but am still confused with my situation. I split up with my boyfriend if a year a week ago. Not a nasty break up, emotionally it got too much and he wanted to stay friends. Two days after we split he called asking for a recipe I said I would send if to him the next day. I didn’t and it resulted in 8 missed calls the following day. I eventually answered and sent it to him. I also removed myself from Facebook temporarily. I then discovered your NC rule and I am five days in and have heard nothing. Is he completely clueless or was he really calling repeatedly just for a recipe and that’s why I have heard nothing more? Or another week or so he will realise something’s up?

I greatly appreciate your help!

admin

February 18, 2014 at 6:53 pm

He probably will but if he doesn’t dont fret.

Nik

February 17, 2014 at 3:27 pm

Chris, help! Together 3 and a half months, lived about 2 hours apart so replied mostly on texts/calls. For three months it was totally amazing, no game playing, we text each other all day everyday and he made me feel so special – I could literally text him anything and not once have to wish I hadn’t sent it etc. . When we did see each other we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I can honestly say I have never felt so comfortable and connected with someone. Suddenly almost overnight his work load doubled and our texts went from 100 texts a day down to about 10, this lasted a week, and then the following week I was lucky to get 5 texts a day. During this 2 week period most of his texts were him apologising to me for not being able to text me as he was so busy with work, but we still managed at least one long phone call to catch up each week. I wasn’t demanding, I tried to be understanding but he kept saying how bad he felt for neglecting me. We had arranged to spend the night in a hotel, this would be the first time that we would spend the whole night together. We had an amazing time, had dinner and drinks and back at the hotel was pretty awesome. Our conversations were about the future and meeting each others family etc. The next morning was lovely, we just chilled together in bed before going to get breakfast and saying goodbye. The rest of the week followed the previous pattern of dwindling messages and then 5 days after our night together he said he wanted to end things. The reasoning he gave was that he was so busy with work and he didn’t think it was fair on me because he couldn’t give me the time that I deserved – He thought that we should be just friends. To say I was blindsided was an understatement. I said that I didn’t agree and wanted to continue but I would respect his decision. I went NC for 5 days before caving in, we chatted on the phone like normal and he said he was surprised to hear from me so soon. 2 days later he text me asking how I was, we exchanged a few messages and he basically said his gut feeling thought this would be better in the long run. I went NC for 9 days (ignoring texts from him on day 5 and 6) then we exchanged a few friendly texts. What’s my next step? Should I start NC again? I don’t know if he’s giving me these breadcrumbs out of guilt or because he genuinely wants to be my friend? I’m of the opinion that if he truly wanted me he would have moved heaven and earth to make time for me. I don’t want to be his friend I’m just sad that he threw away something so amazing!
Suri

February 16, 2014 at 10:21 am

Me and my bf have been in relationship for 8 months. We usually fight out of small things all the time but right after that we came back together when we met up, we never say break up. Then last month, he had to be back to his hometown for straight one month. Before he went back, we had already fight a lot. Then i felt like he was getting cool to me, my calls and texts annoyed him, he said, he didnt text or call me as much as he did before, then i found out he talked to his exes (he has so many exes) and i got angry. He said it was nothing, i just called for saying happy new year. I realized myself have been very short-tempered, clingy, needy and jealous. We couldnt be together at this moment so it was so hard to solve. Then he said he didnt want to talk to me anymore, then few days later he said we should break up and stay friends. It has been only 3 days since we broke up. After that, he still contacts me, asking me which shirt to choose (he wants to buy some shirts), i had promised him to give him one before but now we broke up to he has to buy on his own. I politely answered, im not sure to strictly stop contacting him or just simply answer him when he contacts me. Then i went for a short trip, he knew where i went cuz i posted on FB. The day after he texted me if i have turned back to the city. I didnt reply, then he texted another one, why u didnt reply me ?i still didnt reply. Then i saw him posting a picture of hanging w another girl, eating sushi and coffee. I thought he might want me to get mad cuz when we broke up he promised to take me for sushi as i helped him for his project… then i replied on his FB that i have just come back to the city,is there anything ? i really dont know what type of this guy is. I really want to be back with him, cuz i love him. i dont know if i should stay connect with him or completely ignore him. He is young, 21, short-tempered, stubborn and wild, he is a truly sattagirius.

admin

February 16, 2014 at 6:32 pm

Well, at 21… no one is too mature. Some people do mature faster but he doesn’t seem to be that way.
Suri

February 17, 2014 at 4:00 am

should i just stop contacting him completely ? he asked me to hang out yesterday but then after a long discussion he said maybe tomorrow… i dont know what he really wants.
Suri

February 16, 2014 at 10:32 am

He didnt reply me on my FB message. And on his picture, a lot of friends of the girls comment things like, Oh!, Wow, etc… are they dating ? her friend think they are dating or they really date ? Is he mad at me and doesnt want to talk to me ?

Elle

February 13, 2014 at 4:39 pm

Hey Chris,
My apologies for spamming your site with all of my questions, I just find your insight very helpful.

My question is this: If HE was the one who did the breaking (for the second time- as I mentioned in a previous post), and he left the breakup talk with “if you ever need anything, I’m here” what do you think his attitude is during No Contact? I have implemented no contact for 5 days now and so far I have not heard from him, nor do I expect to seeing that he is the textbook definition of the “clueless guy” you described here. The breakup derived from an argument we had and his idea that in a good relationship, you simply don’t argue. I tried my best to get him to understand that all relationships require maintenance and effort, which he shook his head to and said no, that relationships shouldn’t require work. Do you believe that? I feel like there was very little room for failure in my relationship with him and our dynamics were a little challenging (long distance at times, moving together every 6mths, his friends not caring for me, etc).
So how do I know what his attitude is while we are in the beginning stages of our No Contact rule? Does he even realize that I have implemented the no contact rule? Without hearing from him, how am I to know how he feels about the loss of our relationship and if I should pursue him to reconcile? How do I know if he’s thinking of me and regretting ending our year long relationship?

If there is some way to find this out soon, I would love to know the secret. As it stands, I’m feeling like he just doesn’t care…and that wounds me deeply.
Any thoughts? I appreciate your advice.
Thanks!!

admin

February 14, 2014 at 3:22 am

Check out my latest guide.

I literally think that will open up your eyes a lot.

Michelle

February 12, 2014 at 1:52 am

I’ve been in nc for 5 days now and he texted me so you’re just not gonna talk to me now? I didn’t reply and I’m ignoring it. I know he’s trying to make me feel guilty but I feel like he’s gonna give up on me and not want to fix things now. He spammed me 3 days after we broke up too but I replied to him unfortunately and the next day I went back into nc. Do you think nc will still work for me or should I make it shorter. I’m determined to make him miss me like he never has before but I don’t want him to think that I’ve moved on or dont want to fix this. I don’t want him to give up on me.

admin

February 12, 2014 at 7:36 pm

You can always make it shorter but I would still stick with the 30 days.
Michelle

February 12, 2014 at 12:42 pm

A few hours after that text he sent me “k fine whatever”. Why’s he being so rude. I haven’t texted back but Im scared that he’s done for sure and i turned him into the angry guy.

Lana

February 11, 2014 at 7:03 pm

Hi Chris,

i have a question and that’s is very important, you can help me save my relationship, we’ll we have been seeing each other for 8 months now and we always got along together but we went to a dinner and he said he was going to meet his co works after and he said if it was okay for me I should said okay and I got upset about it cuz I wanted to spend the Friday with him so he tried to make it up and in the middle of the conversation he said let me show in ur phone where I will be and he got my phone and he asked the password and I got it and I put on the phone and he got mad at me cuz I didn’t want give to him my password and freak out saying I was acting weird and why he could not have my password and I explain for him, girls usually don’t give it but I gave to him after anyway, after that we were fine but he started acting distant, and I wait he say something but 1 week after I went to his place and I said he was acting strange and he said everything was fine, but I got his phone and I saw he was texting other girl and I asked him and he said he freaked out when I didn’t give my password and he started talk with that girl cuz he was scary to get hurt and for that he step back cuz he felt he was getting to close… Anyway he txt the girl and said he was seeing someone in front of me and he said sorry cuz he did that but nothing happened and if we could start from zero but it’s happened 2 weeks ago and he still a bit distance doing some progress, he saw each other Thursday and Sunday we went out all day and had a lot fun and on Monday he didn’t txt me all day. I want we just be back the way we were before and get his close again I don’t want he step back. Do u think this NC could work with him or what should I do? He is a bit scary of commitment but all his friends knows me and his parents I didn’t met yet but they know he have been hang out a lot and the way he talks about me for other people I can see he really likes me but I don’t want he’s step back and go distant so what should I do in this case? Thanks

admin

February 12, 2014 at 7:28 pm

I think NC can work with him yes.

You might also benefit from checking out my guide on commitment.

Rachel

February 11, 2014 at 12:25 pm

Hi Chris,
About 2 weeks into no contact my ex starts liking my facebook posts….then he has started posting comments on them…just short funny comments, and also mentioning my name in jokes he posts etc. He has never done this before, why doesn’t he just text me?? Is he clueless….I didn’t actually tell him I was going NC…or he is testing me ….I made the mistake of liking a comment of his but that’s it so far. It seems like bizarre behaviour when previously he was texting me constantly. I’m also worried he is trying to friend zone me,,,,thoughts?
Mich

February 10, 2014 at 9:59 am

Hi Chris,after 3 weeks of NC,i’m back to tweeting again,i mostly tweet about me being happy and being stronger, and my ex follows me on twitter. He sent me a text saying he knows what i’m up to and he expected this from me but it won’t change a thing,what does it mean? Fyi twitter is very popular here where i’m living,lol.

admin

February 10, 2014 at 6:57 pm

It means he is spying on you and you are on his mind hahaha.
Mich

February 10, 2014 at 10:39 pm

Im actually quite proud of myself,following your strict NC rule,even though sometimes it kills me when my friends tell me he’s flirting with his new gf publicly and a lot ppl know we are engaged. But i didn’t even respond to what they were doing because i know both him and the new gf are provoking me.

Jen

February 10, 2014 at 3:14 am

Hi Chris,
I ran across your site while I was looking for reviews on text your ex back… I’ll make my question short but do need to give some background info. I was dating my boss – we since have both moved on to different positions. We started our relationship only about 5 months after he discovered his wife of 14 years had had a 9 month affair. He moved out but they still see each other for dinner every night because of their kids. We were together for 10 months and he withdrew and said he needed some time to figure some things out. I said I would respect that and went nc for two weeks. But I got pissed when he didn’t even acknowledge my birthday and I basically sent him an eff off for good message to which he responded with a very sad message that made me realize he’s depressed again. So I emailed every few days to check on him but noticed him taking longer and longer to respond. I mirrored it but then something happened this week that again made me angry and I let him know about it. He responded with a text that basically said I did care about you very much, I just realized I’m not emotionally ready for a relationship. To me that was a game changer. Emotional unavailability is nothing I can do anything about. But I still love him. So I told him yes you did hurt me and now that you’ve td me that I will move on, good luck to you. Things you should also know: chemistry was always great, we didn’t have huge blow outs or do any ‘wrongs’ to each other really, sex was always amazing and we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other any time we were together. Is the nc rule something that can still work in my favor or are all these factors with him a lost cause?

admin

February 10, 2014 at 6:38 pm

Yes I think it really can work in your favor.
Jen

February 11, 2014 at 2:27 am

Even with the divorce factor and my maybe having been transitional? I always asked that I not be that and he swore I wasn’t but sometimes my head says I am/was. We started off as great friends though so I hope that changes it a tad. At any rate, thanks for the reply. I did remove him from fb- I do social media marketing for a living so I had to to get the temptation away. The first time when he said he needed a break ( early January )- I went about with being busy- losing weight- cutting my hair and he was ALL over the pics with likes and what not. So I want him to wonder… I also blocked him on chat. And changed the contact in my phone to: no don’t do it. Haha. I think it’s helping!

Annabelle

February 8, 2014 at 1:24 pm

We broke up a week ago, as he said he ‘can’t give me what I want’ and that he is scared he will hurt me… I’ve taken on the NC rule, however we have an event next Friday that we will both be at. Should I just skip the event? & all events from now on?
serena

February 8, 2014 at 12:31 pm

Hello, me and my exboyfriend broke up in october, we was so happy but things just changed within him that he felt we wouldn’t work in the future, we was so close like best friends and our relationship lasted 2 years, after 2 weeks of us being apart he claimed he loved me but as a friend and will be there for me, so we tried to be friends he seemed he couldn’t completely let me go. Well he started seeing someone in the december of which he didn’t tell me, he keeped it to himself its only through a friend I found out, so I texted my ex to ask he said it was only a friend but eventually admitted he is seeing her. So I wished him to be happy and he said he still wants my friendship. I love him to death but he stopped texting me and I had to initiate contact but he did reply always and said he just busy and that he still wants mt friendship. I replied to him that I want his happiness and that I’m not gonna contact him anymore and that I hope he is happy and I’m there for him, so I have now started nc and its been 4 days. I want him back so I don’t no what to do, it hurts deeply but if he is happy without me I have to let him go. I’m just confused to how he went from loving me so much to letting me go for another.. I don’t know if its a rebound as yes he meet her after only a month after we broke up from a 2 year relationship, but he sounds happy. I’m so hurt I just hope nc will help me heal and make him miss me.. Some advice would be nice.. Thank you x
Christina

February 8, 2014 at 1:39 am

So I’ve been doing NC with my ex immediately after the breakup. It’s day 5 and I’ve posted pictures on Facebook and statuses showing that I’m happy and moving on and such. I’ve been religious with NC and haven’t broken once.
So my ex messaged me on Facebook once this morning (which I didn’t even look at because of the “read” receipt) and I ignored it as I should and went to the fair with a friend and posted pictures of me having a good time.
So tonight he messaged me again and it started with “Look, if you’re trying to prove a point…” (I didn’t see the rest of it and ignored it as usual) and then a few minutes later he messaged me again “K thanks.”
Shortly after he tweeted “watching people becoming immature” and it’s obvious he’s very pissed.
Should I continue with NC for the full month or respond before he gets really angry?
Thanks!

admin

February 8, 2014 at 4:24 am

I say go for the full month but this is your decision if you feel he will get so angry that he can’t function then feel free to do watever you want.
Christina

February 8, 2014 at 3:23 pm

I just replied “I need space” and I’m going to restart NC

Taylor

February 6, 2014 at 5:46 pm

Ok so I’m dealing with the angry guy , it’s been a little more then a week since he broke up with me but this is not the first time we broke up in our five year on and off again relationship. It’s been 4 days with NC . We had a really bad fight were I told him a lot of things I was holding in for some time . I know that how I said it was wrong but it had to be said. I tried to apologize right away, I cried and begged but he said he was done and wanted nothing to do with me. But this is not the first time this has happened so it’s hard for me to believe that. Also I know he thinks I’m going to call and text trying to fix things with him. So I’m hoping if he sees that this time is different he’ll reach out to me.

I love him deeply and I don’t want to give up on him because it was just one fight and I believe we lacked communication. We had things to work on but nothing so big to just give up on us.

I’m writing I guess to see if anyone else is dealing with the angry guy and has any input .

admin

February 7, 2014 at 6:16 pm

Was he willing to communicate at all with you?

veronika

February 4, 2014 at 5:39 pm

Hi Every one,I read a lot about today about NC,but my relationship was ended up very bad arguing.I was with a man 7 years,he never treated like a girlfriend,we never lived togedher,no married,no kids with hem and i very wanted.I got my own son ,and my boyfriend got hes son from hes ex,he using me like a slave,i been helping hem alot,i try to loving hem,but he never givet to me any love,hug,kissing and any preasant..not even Christmas and Birthday,he was abused me,cheating me many times,every year he hoing thailand and pick up bar girls..He never helpted me in a kitchen,hes happy when he see im suffering.Im preety women,very attractive but i havent meet a nice attractive man whos i like.He broke up with me,because i wanted to be treated like a lady.I like u to give me advice so he can suffer.I try NCrules,he would be realised how nice person im and what he lost with hes selfishness..Thanx.Veronika

admin

February 5, 2014 at 6:28 pm

So, were you able to successfully complete the NC?

ZEN

January 29, 2014 at 12:33 pm

We dated for nearly 2 yrs and the months leading up to the break up were hell for me. We took a break in October, I moved out before the break and that made him angry. We finally ended things in December because I simply could not take it anymore. I have recently completed 20 days of NCR during which he became frantic and angry and deleted me on Facebook. Once he deleted me I had to get in touch to make sure he was still going to pay me back the large sum of money he owes me and he claimed that he still wants us to be in each other’s lives. Is this guy serious? He openly tells me he is jealous of me being around any man even a friend and yet he is not ready to be in a relationship now. The NCR rule has been amazing at helping me see that this is not someone I need in my life. Thank you Chris.

admin

January 29, 2014 at 7:05 pm

You are more than welcome.

Chanel

January 28, 2014 at 3:47 pm

Hello Chris,

I’m new on this subject, but here I go. I met this really nice guy at work in November 2012,t he was in a completeled relationship which seemed to be coming to the end. His girlfriend at the time were living together, but he advised that their relationship was more like room mates, as they were no longer sexually active, eligably. However, we spent a lot of time together, meeting each other at lunchtimes and after work. I can say he was a complete gentleman and we were not sexual. We kept in contact daily on WhatsApp in the evenings, but wondered often of his girlfriend whether she really wanted a relationship or just somewhere to live as the arrangements were convenient. Anyway, they eventually threw the towel in and called the relationship quits. She moved out, but only to torment him further; asking to come back to starting over and wanted to start a family. It was a constant battle. When he rejected the idea as they often fell out, she went ballistic. She oftened called daily trying to pursued him to take her back and he finally told her that he was now in a new relationship.

We got together, seeing each other a few days a week. He wanted more and often approached the subject of being his girlfriend. It was too soon as he only just broke up with his gf after the New Year 2012 after an eighteen relationship. We saw each other casually – we were exclusive to each other, sexually monogamous. Until early that Summer she returned pleading her love for him. He had texted to say that she was in the house but he would not answer his phone calls and then boom replied by text ‘to be honest, I still have feelings for her’. You can imagine my state of mind and what I was thinking. As he wouldn’t reply to my calls or messages I made a decisive decision to confront him. When I arrived I was as made as hell but had bought my sister along for the ride for support and of course to calm me down. When he eventually came to the door after ringing his door bell for over a minute, he was only dressed in his boxer shorts and t-shirt. Now, can you imagine what my face looked like. I calmly asked for my personal effects without causing a scene or uttering another word and left with my dignity in tack with my head held high and drive home. I was so proud of myself not getting into a fight or exchanging any hurst regretful words. Anyway, the long and short of it she stayed at his home and with 24 hours of her visiting and staying the night, whilst he was at work she had taken everything she had bought for him and left the house and managed to dishonour him by getting access to his facebook account (tablet with no password) and wrote disgusting comments on his page. He was devastated and eventually made contact with after a week of embrassment. I the strong one took him back not knowing that he might just do this to me again. The trust had gone but tried his best to make up for the wrong doing. I did become a bit distant and needed time out to evaluate myself. I needed to set some challenges for my self and he gave me the time to do just that, but only to find out that he was now in a new relationship, which started, eligably a couple of weeks ago. I must admit that the time I had to improve a better me took three months without seeing him, but we were still spoke via phone calls and messages. I had accomplished my goals and was ready to commit full heartedly, but I was a tad too late. The obvious thing was just to leave him to it as he had placed his life on hold. He advised that he couldn’t wait forever and had to do him and get on with his life. I’m heart broken and still want him back; I’ve had the time to realise what I want and that is I want him back because I love him? Would the nc work or is there any point waiting out until he sees the light?
Marissa

January 27, 2014 at 1:36 am

My ex and i were friends in high school then started dating. We were together for 4 years and broke up a few times because i was unsure of my feelings towards him. I knew i loved him but wanted to know what else is out there. We always got back together and worked things out. I thought everything was going great between us until he told me two months ago that he knows he loves me but dont know if hes in love with me anymore. I broke up with him right away because i was very upset. I texted him and he spoke to me but never contacted me again. I texted him for new years and he responded. Then we had a big snow storm and he texted me saying becaureful out there. Tonight i texted him telling him that i understand how he felt and we are young and we need to grow on out own. And i dont want to be enemies and i wish him all the best. He responded saying he he feels the same way. It has been two months since we broke up. I love him and i want him back. But i dont know if there is a chance in the future for us. Did anyone ever experience something like this? Thanks for uour advice.
Jennifer Pedrazza

January 25, 2014 at 1:20 pm

How do I get the angry type of guy back? We parted and he said some mean things to mean but also said it was hard for him.

admin

January 27, 2014 at 6:28 pm

Didn’t I give a plan in the guide?

Heena

January 25, 2014 at 10:59 am

Hey Chris, so I had a turbulent relationship with my ex. We broke up multiple times but it was mostly because of distance and the frustrations of not being able to communicate well enough. He was abroad for 2.5 years and we stuck it out for most of it, then he broke up with me a couple months before he came back to the states since he thought I was being too naggy since I wanted to talk. But seriously, with the time difference it was really hard. He ignored me for those 2 months before he came back and then he contacted me once he was in the states. I loved him and I immediately took him back(which I think was a big mistake). I don’t think he realized the hurt I felt from being ignored and honestly thought I was being taken for granted because I was literally always there for him. So for that year we were mostly good. The biggest issue is that he is terrible at communicating. We would text a little in the morning and then all of a sudden he just would be really busy and never give me the heads up and then carry on with a short conversation through text at night to say goodnightt. And sometimes because of this, I would get sad and upset that he wouldn’t text me more or call me more. 2 weeks ago he ended it before my first day of a new job and it broke my heart because I knew we had something amazing. The problems were that he didn’t think he could compromise with me. I gave up meat to be with him and he said that he would give up smoking and try to communicate more, but he never did. He broke up with me saying that he loves me that it’s not the same anymore. Just that past week he was saying he loved me and missed me. I don’t want to think of that as a lie. Anyways, for the first week of our breakup, I deactivated my Facebook to have a breather. Then the second week I activated it again and started to post statuses about my new apartment and job and how I was super excited! I even posted some pictures. All the while, I have been doing no contact. It has been 13 days of NC. But to my surprise, he had JUST unfriended me on Facebook. He had never done that in the past and that surprised me quite a bit. Do you think that means something? He is quite the stubborn guy and he might not like that I am handling this breakup in such a good way. Maybe I got into his head? What does this mean? I still love him and want to be with him but I wish he could fix his communication problem and put me as a priority and not an option. Do you think he would contact me during NC? I don’t have any intentions on contacting him unless he contacts me first. Let me know what you think, Chris.

Heena

February 5, 2014 at 4:06 pm

He still hasn’t contacted me. It’s been 3.5 weeks. I feel like he doesn’t care anymore. I’m going to continue with NC still. What do you think is going on in his head?

Strong&Confident

January 22, 2014 at 3:59 pm

Thank you for addressing this subject!
I’m on day 10 of the 30 day NC program and each day that I spend in recovery convinces me more, how important it is to follow the NC rule no matter what!

I have been keeping a journal and writing my most embarrassing, honest, painful assessments and feelings in it. In the end, I may publish it for the benefit of others. So far I have used this time to be brutally honest with myself, confront my fears and embrace and learn from the pain.

One thing I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt, I NEED at least 30 days of no contact for my OWN recovery. And as much as I miss him and want him back into my life, I KNOW that contact with him now is the absolute worst thing I could do to myself.

I have received two emails from him and ignored them both. Sure, it felt weird to be rude, but then I realized something profound after the 2nd email – I owe him nothing. He hurt me and made me feel cheap and used, therefore, I have no obligation to reply to his messages. It is up to him to earn MY respect and my attentions and a few random, ‘friend zone’ emails are not going to do it. The little crumbs he tosses my way do not deserve any acknowledgement whatsoever.

The other thing the 30 NC rule does is, it takes the pressure off of me to come up with a reply to his lame efforts at assuaging his own guilt. I don’t have to think about his feelings right now, which is good, because I must focus on ME. It may seem cold and selfish but that’s ok. We all need to take care of ourselves if we want to be better human beings and bring positive things into the world. We all need to remember that we are worthy of love and respect.

I am using the 30 day NC rule to make myself strong and healthy, and at this point, I think I may use even MORE than 30 days. I feel no obligation to contact him on the 31st day. I will take as much time as I need to heal myself and get back on track, and who knows, I may not want to contact him at all.

Gris

February 3, 2014 at 7:58 pm

Strong&Confident I really needed to read that and I agree with you 110%! Thank you for sharing!

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4,271 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”