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plz help me
October 2, 2016 at 7:25 pm
me and my ex were in relationship for 3 years.for the first year we were very happy with each other.but he dint comit me ,he used to say he is happy with me in such type of a relationship only without marriage.at the end of 1 year we had a fight and i said something ,he was very angry and said me i am a psycho girl and he will never talk to me ever again and get lost.i tried contacting him,but he blocked me dint reply to my messages.so i decided to move on after 10 days of trying ,and mean while my marriage got fixed with some other boy,i told him,he got very angry saying how can i do that ?he said he realized that he loves me a lott and will marry me,but due to some problems his family dint agree for our marriage ,and then he got too emotional and stressedwith all this so he left trying because he thought no one is able to understand him and he just left all.after that he said me we will be freind sbut i said him i dnt want to.but he and me couldnt stay away from each other …because we loved each other .but then too many fights started because of not marrying ,baming each other saying bad things ,crying,aner,frustration,depression,stress..this all since 1 1/2 year.and in the end he one month back he said me he still loves me..his eyes show he loves me too deeply.but then he said i am a very bad person and not understanding how hell he was going through and still i blamed him.he said me he will never forgive me andhe left..he said he very angry and disappointd at me and anyways he is not going to marry now,because he has some alternate plans for carreer and future he said .i said him he is not forgiving because he has too much ego and he never wanted me ,finally he said he never wants to see my face and he hates me too much and said i am ver horrible person to spend life with .i m today at 13 days of no contact .is there any hope he will come back ?there was too much blaming,using bad words and all but his eyes always said he loved me.dont know.will he come back ?i gave him too much importance and begged him to come back but he never ..he is too egostic.
plz help me
October 2, 2016 at 7:42 pm
first we used to work at same place also ,now we are not workign at same place and never will .
even if we were working at same place he used to ignore me too much,making me feel unwanted because he used to think i m only coming to meet him to fight and blame him.and when he used to ignore me i used to get frustrated and in anger i used to say some shit to him.he used to avoid me.and now my image has become horrible in front of him.and even my family started not liking him because he called my family saying all negative things about me ,this reason he gave for not marrying me.he forgot all the love and happiness for which he came begging me once !! and now all his ego has taken the place !!!hwo can someone not give a person a second chance when the same person once accepted them the second time!!!will this no contact help ?or he will just concentrate on his carreer and other freinda and family only ?even in his family he said something bad about me ,the reaon for not marrying me,he gave me very mean,rude and bad words also ,because i was begging him too much,he dint value any of my tears .
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 5, 2016 at 5:36 pm
Hi Plz help me.
There’s no guarantee is that the no contact rule work. But if you really saw you as someone so negative, you have to stop chasing him. Stop chasing him and start changing yourself. I think you should do at least 45 days to 60 days no contact. Heal and improve yourself
Conflicted
October 2, 2016 at 2:35 am
My ex and I did a lot of back and forth conversation after the break up for about a month…when I say back and forth I mean I kept trying to engage him he said things along the lines of “I hate you” then “I love you” then “I can’t believe you did this to me” then “I still see you in my future”….I acknowledged all of my mistakes but it became clear that talking was the opposite of what we both needed. So I am now 4 days into the official no contact but I’m wondering if it will still have the same effect since I didn’t do it immediately after the breakup?
When I told him I do actually think it’s best that we don’t talk, which was his idea from the start, he responded positively and said he thought that was a mature decision. He is going to be in my area in November and says he wants to meet up then despite us agreeing not to talk until just before he arrives. Any thoughts on this situation? Will no contact be effective? Does it sound like there’s a possibility of genuine reconnection in November?
I’m doing my best to focus on my own self improvement but it’s hard when I’m distracted by the possibility of the future.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 4, 2016 at 6:48 pm
Hi Conflicted,
there’s not guarantee that it will work but if you keep thinking about him then you’re lessening your chances. Use this time to put yourself first.. You only have a limited time of not worrying about others. Make the most of it.
Cha
October 1, 2016 at 8:48 am
Need an advice,
We were together nearly 2 years. It’s been 14 days we did not talk to each other. It’s my birthday today. I badly need him to call me. I am hopeless, feel like I lost my self. Any idea what is good on in his mind?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 4, 2016 at 1:31 pm
Hi Cha,
Why did you break up? Even if you haven’t talked to each other, that doesn’t mean you’re already in the no contact rule. Because being in no contact rule means improving yourself and putting yourself first and focusing in healing too. Do you want to try that?
Paige
October 1, 2016 at 7:03 am
My boyfriend was really cold and i asked if he wanted us, we are in a long distance relationship . He said that he is really stressed about work and his family that he can’t handle a relationship at the moment. He said he doesn’t know if it is the right time for us at the moment. He continued to say that he thinks we need space from eachother, i didnt beg or anything, i accepted it. He said he promises tha he will come back and he just needs time to work things out.
I have started no contact, i was just wondering if no contact will work in my situation.
Thank you
Paige
October 4, 2016 at 7:25 am
Does it sound like he has broken up with me though? I am just really confused
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2016 at 1:07 pm
yep it looks like it
Confused
October 4, 2016 at 4:44 am
Ok so here’s the deal my boyfriend and I dated for about 10 months and we recently broke up. He broke up with me because he said he was too busy to give our relationship 100% and needed to focus on other things. He took me for granted a lot, and I was there for him when nobody else was. I’m very hurt because I did a lot for him and he still makes me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I put in way more effort than he did and I loved him to my full potential. I know he loved me and I know he has to miss me because I was there through everything. He has recently rebounded less than a week after we broke up with a girl and I’m just wondering if this is his way of distracting himself? He used to make fun of this particular girl because she was such a flirt and he would talk about how he didn’t respect her. Now he seems to be all over her which confuses me. He still tries to talk/flirt with me and I’m wondering if I do this no contact thing will he realize what he lost? He says he wants to be friends but to be completely honest I want him to come running back. I’m just afraid the no contact rule will just help him get over me. Can you help me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2016 at 11:20 am
Hi Confused,
there’s no guarantee that it will work but if he has taken you for granted in the long time, dont you think it’s time to take a different step?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 3, 2016 at 6:25 pm
Hi Paige,
there’s no guarantee that it will work but I think you need to check this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming
Michelle
September 30, 2016 at 1:53 pm
Hi there ,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3.5 years. We used to be madly in love but then the fights started happening. It got extremely toxic and I was miserable for the last while. I kept trying and trying and I think i was just suffocating him. I ended up breaking up with him and blocking him off of everything for 10 days. This week I unblocked him and sent him another message which got us to meet in person. He apologized for treating me like crap and that I don’t deserve it etc. Saying he sees himself marrying me one day and having kids together but if we get back together now he won’t change and it’ll continue on. He was also saying maybe this will be a wake up call for him since he’s never experienced heartbreak (which he hasn’t) it was really sad and he even cried. We ended up hugging and departed ways. It was his birthday today so I just sent a simple happy birthday and am now starting my NC challenge for 30 days. Is there any hope? These past few days have been awful. He used to always say to give him space to make him miss me but it just became so toxic. I don’t want to hope and wait around but I feel like I will. As soon as I unblocked him. He tried to lighten the situation. Even sending me random things to strike up convo. But then after meeting in person I was devastated. But I know it’s for the best right now. I truly love him so much but I can’t deal with the way he treated me near the end. I think he thinks it’s for the best now. He also said he hopes to see me again one day and thinks he will.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 1, 2016 at 3:07 pm
Hi Michele,
Yeah, I think there is hope but you need to be active in improving yourself during and after no contact. Don’t just stop contacting him.
help
September 29, 2016 at 3:30 pm
Do you think he will have all of the points mentioned of what goes thru his mind during NC if I made him so angry and annoyed him with texts? When he didnt text me back I stupidly got mad that he cant keep up a convo, etc. He said we cant even be friends or even have a normal convo that he doesn’t want anything to with me now or even talk to me anymore and said whats the point of talking? Today is day 4 of no contact. I feel like he is so happy and moving on & hes been getting dinner with this girl a lot lately and tweeting her, etc. I can’t help to overthink. He is going to the military in 2 months and we are long distance since June…we broke up in June because he said he cant deal with me anymore & deal with my anxiety problems/me controlling him/ trust issues. He said if i can be a better person and if he SEES that i changed or FEEL that i changed, he will give it a shot after military service which is 1 year….what should i do help?? Hes going to move on How do i know he will have those thoughts you mentioned in this article…hes going to find talking to other girls is making him realize maybe i was boring etc.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 30, 2016 at 6:47 pm
Hi Help,
There’s no guarantee that no contact will work and honestly in your case, 15 days wont. Especially if you repeatedly tried to make him think you changed but you really didn’t or that you kept coming back to being a chaser. There’s not genuine change in just 15 days..
There’s better chance if it is after he went home because that would mean 2-3 years right?
Love Bug
September 29, 2016 at 1:56 pm
Hi, so after 6 days of no contact my ex kept calling me I didn’t answer and then he called and I broke it. I’m so mad at myself, he basically told me he loves me and he didn’t want to lose me and that he though we were in a break but then he didn’t text me back. Clearly he just say that because he wants me to be there I guess to friend zone me. Next day I text him back asking him what the purpose was for texting me he said that he loved me but I just want to damage him from my life. He can believe I didn’t pick up his calls im so eager to move on. I asked him why he was telling me he loved me when didn’t want a relationship, he said he wants to take it slow I told him we can’t take it slow with no commitment. I end the convo by saying he broke my heart and I have to move on to heal and that he should call or text me telling me he loves me he said ok. He called once later that say I couldn’t answer cas I have a blocking app. I commented before you could check for reference
Love Bug
September 30, 2016 at 1:12 pm
Above has alot of grammatical errors sorry what it should be is… he said he loves me but I’m just quick to move and remove him from my life and I ended the convo by saying he broke my heart and to heal I have to move on and he shouldn’t call or text me to tell me he loves me
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 30, 2016 at 10:58 pm
You have to unblock him because you won’t know if he will say he wants you back if you block him.
Love Bug
September 29, 2016 at 3:06 pm
Also I was wondering why he would call me later that same day eventhough I told him not to and he seemed ok with it
Leslie
September 28, 2016 at 10:36 pm
Hi,
I’m not really sure what category my ex would fall into. He broke up with me because he is confused and doesnt know if he wants a serious relationship right now. He has a nasty past of girls breaking up with him and his last serious relationship was almost 2 years ago. He has dated girls in between for 2-4 months but the longest he’s been with someone has been with me for 8 months therefore he’s really questioning what he wants to do. Last time we spoke I was obviously upset and confused and I don’t think he will contact me because he doesn’t have an answer to what’s going to happen…
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 30, 2016 at 5:20 pm
Hi Leslie,
So, the last talk was your break up? It would be better if you don’t answer him on your birthday..
Meeks
September 27, 2016 at 4:11 pm
My ex and I had a long distance relationship but made it work over a period of 9 months. We fought A LOT over the dumbest stuff. We’re both hot heads and we’re also stubborn so you can imagine the types of arguments we had. When we broke up, he said that he couldn’t THIS anymore because of all my assumptions and insecurities and that he felt he never had any freedom. The first couple days I texted him long messages with only a few word responses. I came back to my hometown (where he lives) and I showed up unexpectedly because I thought I needed to hear it to make it real. He said he loves me and that he wants to be with me he just can’t deal with everything anymore. After that we texted everyday pretty much. A week ago, I told him it’s either we work this out or we need to go our seperate ways because stringing me along only hurts me. The next day he called explaining he loved me but can’t be with me, so basically the same thing. Over a couple days he texted me minor stuff then he would send pictures telling me he missed me and that he’s sorry that we couldn’t make it work. On Thursday, we spoke on the phone but he basically keeps telling me the exact same thing. It is now Tuesday and I have not tried to contact him no responded to his texts. It’s about two and a half weeks after the initial break up. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 5:58 pm
Hi Meeks,
Start no contact for 30 days.. and then just focus in improving yourself. After no contact slowly rebuild rapport with him.. Read this one:
The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship
Miaa
September 27, 2016 at 5:16 am
Hi,
I was broken up less than a month. I sent my ex text “said i missed him so much” his reply me to not texting him that way he’s was affraid he’s new gf was got misunderstand with that, how easy his is forget about me after 2 year we being together, by the way he just knew that he’s girlfiend only 3 day after we’re broke up. What do you advice his would regret to left me that easy for a someday? I love him so
much and i tried to NC him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 11:53 am
HI Miaa,
what did you mean that you tried to nc him? Since you’re less than a month of being broken up, that means you only did days right? And do yo mean you don’t want to try doing it properly?
Johanne
September 27, 2016 at 12:08 am
Hello,
My name is Johanne, i want to first thank you for this article, it help me to learn on my situation.
I do believe that my ex would be the *Angry guy*.
near the 5 september, he broke up with me because i told him that i was thinking he was doing nothing with his life….he was going to school 2 days in a week so he could at least get a part time job instead of playing video games
(He was looking for a job for me, but i do like my actual job and i am working full time….i wanted him to look for himself instead of looking for me)
He get upset because i want to keep my current job and he told me cruel stuff like
– i will find a woman who cook better pumkin bread than you
– i don’t want to be around you anymore
– You call too much
– i do not trust you and i don’t have respect for you
I did a mistake, i started a no contact rule and i talk to him at the day 6 of my contact rule….
He wrote to me on Skype *Do not contact me again* the september 23 2016….He did not delete me from Skype…..
I am back in the no contact rule ever since….
I do know that he is login on meeting website all day long and i really am wondering if he will come back one day….what should i do?
Its a long distant Relationship…..i am in canada and him in New York…..
i feel lost…..
all i know now is that he do not come on Skype at all
All i know now is that he do not c
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 8:23 am
Hi Johanne,
why does he want you to leave your job? Was it because he wants you to move near him? Both of you are trying to control one another. He wants you to move, you want to have a part time job..
First, if he really meant that he doesn’t respect you, then it’s better to move on but if he just said that because he’s angry. Then the no contact rule can help for help to cool down. And be active in improving yourself during no contact. Be product, don’t just stop contacting him.
And how long were you together? How old are you both and have you seen each other personally?
Johanne
September 27, 2016 at 12:04 am
Hello,
My name is Johanne, i want to first thank you for this article, it help me to learn on my situation.
I do believe that my ex would be the *Angry guy*.
near the 5 september, he broke up with me because i told him that i was thinking he was doing nothing with his life….he was going to school 2 days in a week so he could at least get a part time job instead of playing video games
(He was looking for a job for me, but i do like my actual job and i am working full time….i wanted him to look for himself instead of looking for me)
He get upset because i want to keep my current job and he told me cruel stuff like
– i will find a woman who cook better pumkin bread than you
– i don’t want to be around you anymore
– You call too much
– i do not trust you and i don’t have respect for you
I did a mistake, i started a no contact rule and i talk to him at the day 6 of my contact rule….
He wrote to me on Skype *Do not contact me again* the september 23 2016….He did not delete me from Skype…..
I am back in the no contact rule ever since….
I do know that he is login on meeting website all day long and i really am wondering if he will come back one day….what should i do?
Its a long distant Relationship…..i am in canada and him in New York…..
i feel lost…..
All i know now is that he do not c
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 8:23 am
Hi Johanne,
why does he want you to leave your job? Was it because he wants you to move near him? Both of you are trying to control one another. He wants you to move, you want to have a part time job..
First, if he really meant that he doesn’t respect you, then it’s better to move on but if he just said that because he’s angry. Then the no contact rule can help for help to cool down. And be active in improving yourself during no contact. Be product, don’t just stop contacting him.
And how long were you together? How old are you both and have you seen each other personally?
Anna
September 26, 2016 at 9:22 pm
I had already posted but I lost signal and it said it didn’t post so I’m not really sure. Anyways, I was with a guy for 2 years. He left me in March and not even a week later had a new gf. While being in a relationship w her he would constantly text me saying he missed and still loved me. He would constantly leave her for me although would not make it known to anyone that he was w me. He would then leave me and of course go back to get as well. The difference this time is he won’t leave her.. He spent a whole week w me last week. And now is saying he’s confused but going to stay w her bc she’s not really a relationship that she don’t stress him.. I’ve tried telling the girl that he STILL continues to talk to me flirt w me and be with me but she don’t believe it. My intentions when I tell her is hoping she’ll get mad and leave him and he will finally realize it’s always been me… I just need to know what I can do to make him realize he needs to come back to me? So would the no contact really help?? Or is my situation different.. I just need him to open his eyes to me. Ge used to sit there and cry over me so I know he loves me.. And the no contact w him has worked in past but he doesn’t leave that girl but still misses me what is there I can do???
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 7:54 am
Hi Anna,
if she gets angry and leaves him, he’ll probably chase her. Because she doesn’t give him problems and if she gets angry, he will feel guilty and leave you to appease her. Just like what he said, he can’t leave her because she doesn’t give him stress. So, that means he doesn’t want to go back with you because he still sees the old you.. He misses the good times but he can still also the old you that he doesn’t want to get back with. Plus, you agreed on flirting with him when you know he has a gf. So, why would he leave her when he can see you’re ok with him being with her because you kept talking to him?
There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work again but if I were you, I would do it again and then take it slow after no contact. Don’t sleep with him if you’re not really back together. And try a little jealousy move too while you’re in no contact. He has to see that you’re done, moving on and improving yourself.
Saista
September 26, 2016 at 6:24 am
Hi,
I really hope you can help me. I am 17 and my ex is 18. I know I’m pretty young but I could really use some advice
My ex and I broke up a week ago but he kept texting me good morning every day and he says he wants I stay friends.
I replied to his texts, occasionally but then yesterday I told him I needed some space. We were in in LDR and we dated for a year.
He keeps sending me mixed signals, he broke up because he said he was confused and a couple days ago he said he was over it but he still texts me. I’m trying to be as cool as possible so when he said good morning I asked why he texted me on which he replied he only wanted to say good morning so I said, okay have a nice day, not meaning anything rude or mean. He simple replied with f*ck you and after a few hours I asked why he replied like that on which he said he doesn’t know.
I’m really confused on what he wants and I know it’s a bit late to use the no contact rule but I want to know if it will help. He comes over the 8th or 9th of October because he has some really important things of mine,
I hope you can help me out
Saista
September 26, 2016 at 6:26 am
Oh and I told him yesterday I needed some space and now he doesn’t text me at all, is this a good sign or a bad sign?
Do I have a chance of ever getting with him ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 26, 2016 at 12:35 pm
Hi Saista,
he’s trying to friendzone you.. Well, maybe he’s just respecting your space. Be civil and calm when you meet again. Don’t say anything that would be dismissive.
Cj
September 26, 2016 at 1:54 am
I broke up with my boyfriend on 9/20. We had been together for 3 years. Prior to me breaking up with him I told him I no longer felt Appreciated, taken for granted and that he no longer puts effort in the relationship. He also has a drinking problem and dies not have a car which I also talked with him about. I told him I needed to to start changing and putting forth an effort because I told him I am asking myself why I am even with you. A few days go by and nothing changes and the night I broke up with him he called me and brought up a private issue that ladies go through and he had been drinking. Let’s just say it was disrespectful in the manner he chose to talk with me. As I tried to bring up solution to the issue so that we could get past it. He wasn’t listening and later that night I broke up with him when he was drunk not that I wanted to do it when he was intoxicated I had no other way. I deleted his number in front of him from my phone. And later blocked his number from calling and texting me
But now I am thinking will he change his ways for himself and contact me and realized what he lost? And should I unblock his number to see if he tries?
Cj
September 26, 2016 at 11:53 pm
Amor,
Thank you for the advice and a friend of his contacted me and said he has been trying to get in contact with you for a while. I unblocked his number and we talked about everything and he was able to understand my side finally!! So we are in the reconcile stage and taking things slow .
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 8:11 am
That’s good! And right take it slowwwwwww!
Anna
September 26, 2016 at 7:52 pm
I was with my ex for 2 years. He left me in March. And got with another girl within a week.. We still talk till this day and he is still w the girl. He would constantly leave her and come back me. But then also leave me and go back to her. He constantly cheats on her w me but says he can’t leave her bc he’s confused right now.. I started to think he didn’t love me anymore but when we’re together he acts so inlove w me. Another reason he says he won’t leave her is bc he’s afraid stuff won’t be different w us.. We used to fight a lot and had other issues.. I just really don’t know what to do.. I just want better understand what is exactly going on in his mind… How do I get him to completely leave her and get back w me..
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 7:54 am
Hi Anna,
if she gets angry and leaves him, he’ll probably chase her. Because she doesn’t give him problems and if she gets angry, he will feel guilty and leave you to appease her. Just like what he said, he can’t leave her because she doesn’t give him stress. So, that means he doesn’t want to go back with you because he still sees the old you.. He misses the good times but he can still also the old you that he doesn’t want to get back with. Plus, you agreed on flirting with him when you know he has a gf. So, why would he leave her when he can see you’re ok with him being with her because you kept talking to him?
There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work again but if I were you, I would do it again and then take it slow after no contact. Don’t sleep with him if you’re not really back together. And try a little jealousy move too while you’re in no contact. He has to see that you’re done, moving on and improving yourself.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 26, 2016 at 11:44 am
HI Cj,
yes, you should unblock his number. But there’s no guarantee that he will change.. I understand that that’s what you want to happen, but you need to remind yourself that you can’t just ignore him for him to change, because once you’re back he will be back to his old self. His change has to be genuine before you get back with him
Sharon
September 25, 2016 at 11:32 pm
I was dating a guy for about 6 weeks. We got along so well, amazing chemistry, make each other laugh, etc. A few weeks in he mentioned he had just gotten out of a relationship – it was one of those on-again off-again relationships that had lasted for years. After about a month, he got “confused” and said he needed space to figure out if he still had feelings for his ex I gave him space and he came back to me within a few days. He seemed like his old self, very motivated to spend time with me, told me how happy I made him, etc. Things were great again for a bit, but then I got insecure about the ex-girlfriend when I found out she was still initiating contact with him (a lot). This ended up with us arguing (I honestly didn’t think it was that bad of an argument) and he broke up with me the next day. It’s been about a week and I haven’t heard from him. I haven’t tried contacting him either. I’m wondering if NC even has a chance of working with someone when the relationship was so short-lived. I know the ex-girlfriend complicates the picture too. But I also think that given enough time he’ll realize that he and his ex were never stable and happy, but he and I had a very sweet and caring relationship and had a lot of fun together too.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 26, 2016 at 10:52 am
Hi Sharon,
It looks you’re his rebound. You should check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?
Mikayla
September 25, 2016 at 9:06 pm
So, we’ve been together for a little over a year and broken up probably 3 times, usually he breaks up with me, I call him and we get back together. Over the last few months we’ve been fighting a lot. We’re both sober & in recovery and I’ve been sober several years more than him. He does some emotionally unhealthy things that I don’t like and that’s usually what we fight over. I am in love with him and love the man he is. I know that he is in love with me too. 5 days ago, I finally lost my patience, said a bunch of hurtful things I shouldn’t have said and told him to never talk to me ever again ever, that I was done and that I hoped he died – mixed with a lot of profanity. I hung up on him then called back and texted an apology, saying I wanted to take a break. The next day I called and left an apology message, saying I missed him and then texted “I am so sorry” followed by his name with a question mark. I accidentally called him the next day, which I don’t think went through, bc it only rang once but maybe it did. Then on friday, he deleted me as a friend on facebook and ended out facebook relationship. I know that he’s mad at me right now, hurt and part of him is super frustrated and feels like I just picked on him for the last few months. We’ve both said hurtful things to each other, but I want this to work. I’m afraid he’s stubborn and angry and I’m only 4 days in and feel bad because I apologized and hurt him and feel like he hates me. The last times he broke up with me he told me that he felt empty and hollow inside for a month and kept checking his phone to see if I texted or called and was shocked that I didn’t, but he would never reach out.
Mikayla
October 5, 2016 at 9:18 pm
He apologizes every time he hurts me. And always tries to change. But he stopped taking his psych meds for his ocd, which I think is a huge part of the problem. I lost it 8 days ago and texted him like 5 times, he didn’t respond and so I just showed up at his band practice. He totally freaked out, was super mad and then called me insane and when I asked him what was going on with us, like was he mad? were we broken up or on a break? He told me he was done and this was the end. I said okay and that I was done too, which I felt at the time. That I just needed this to happen in real life because we were adults and doing this over facebook was ridiculous, especially after being together for a year. And I then I said you don’t love me anymore? And he got really mad and said of course I still f***ing love you. This is just too much, especially with you just showing up. I told him what’s crazy is you ignoring me for a week. And he called me abusive and condescending and started getting angry. I cried and said I was so sorry for what I had said. He said he knew I was sorry and that it was too late. I told him I would be forever grateful for what he had given me in our relationship and that I was so sorry that I had hurt him and that I couldn’t take it back and that I just needed an ending and that I would leave him alone and okay, he wouldn’t hear from me again, don’t worry. That was 8 days ago. But every time we’ve broken up I’ve been the one who has to reach out first and this time I sort of broke up with him first because I got so fed up but yes it’s always the same reason – that he’s not “ready” and that he doesn’t have the time to give me what I deserve, but he’s in love with me and he’s never met a more amazing woman and he doesn’t think he will but he just can’t be the man I deserve. I love him so much and I can see that I’ve gotten him really mad and then I did the exact opposite of the no contact rule and like physically showed up. Now I don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 4:14 pm
Restart the no contact.. and this time.. stick to it and make the most out of it.. I think you’re too emotional to see that you’re basically just chasing him and he’s always your emotions against you..
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 26, 2016 at 10:00 am
Hi Mikayla,
does he apologize for the times he hurt you? You were always the one reaching out every time he break up, is it the same reason every time he break up with you?
Marissa
September 23, 2016 at 1:53 pm
So my ex and I broke up a few weeks ago. I immediately went no contact. The next day he texted me, but I didn’t respond. 4 the next day, and one the day, first thing in the morning, “I really wish that you’d talk to me”. I didn’t reply to any of them. A week went by and I never heard from him. A week later he texted me begging to go to a game with him. I said no I already have tickets, but we ended up talking at the game and after the game. He would text me over the next week and I would reply, but I would always stop early when on when the conversation ran out of steam. A week ago, he stopped trying to reach out to me and we haven’t been in contact at all. I’m sure he was frustrated that I wasn’t giving him any attention and keeping things short, but what is he thinking now? Is he over me? Should I reach out to him? Should I stick to no contact and not reply even if he does eventually try to talk to me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 24, 2016 at 12:47 pm
Hi Marissa,
hmm.. why did you break up? The reason why you’re not supposed to reply during nc is that to help you get the maximum benefit of it.. there are circumstances that you break it, but yours was not included. If you’re going to restart nc.. which I think you should do.. Stick to it.
hayley
September 23, 2016 at 12:00 am
Hi,
In my case, it wasn’t a relationship break up, it was dating for about a couple of months and got on really well , completely ourselves around each other and had such a great connection (we have known each other for about 9 years, lots of mutual friends in common) he has 2 kids and failed marriage. He said after a couple of months of dating there are no whys or why not’s, I am everything he looks for in a women, we get on so well and he adores me, however said its not fair on him or me as he’s trying to learn his ways of being an independent father, concentrate on work etc as the marriage only broke up last year (his ex has moved on living with a new partner etc.) after talking with him I said I appreciate his honesty, Its just crap timing. I have done the NC rule for 3 weeks now and he asked one of our mutual friends last week if I am ok. Should I even be bothering with no contact? I feel like we could make this work as we are so good together, there really are no doubts.
thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 23, 2016 at 6:12 pm
Hi Hayley,
well no contact is more for you, so it’s not a waste doing it. It’s supposed to help you be more rational. If it’s not the right time, then you should use this nc start a routine that you will maintain after nc that can help you spend less time with him and more time on you to improve yourself… Take it slow after no contact..
Laura
September 22, 2016 at 6:27 pm
Will this rule apply to someone you met 3 weeks ago but blew it by coming off to open about my feelings. I know he was interested and I played it cool for the first 2 weeks but I guess came off “too needy” by expressing my feelings? No I didn’t say I was in love or anything that drastic, simply told him directly what I was looking for and not looking for. That I didn’t want to play games etc. He never spoke to me after that. I basically have already entered in this NC rule a week ago before I even read this theory today.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 23, 2016 at 3:37 pm
Hi Laura,
nc rule doesn’t work with everybody and there’s no guarantee that it will work.. but if you have been to clear on your standards and he doesn’t fit it, or he realized himself that he doesn’t fit in your standards, then you dodged a bullet..