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Divya gupta
October 26, 2016 at 9:39 am
I was in a relationship for last more than 2 years we were together in college . First we became friends in first year of btech and then this friendship grew stronger day by day .We fight alot but fights were normal to us and we came on track easily . Then after two years of btech we decided to be together forever . That was the most beautiful day of my life i don know when and how i started loved him . We spend so much time together . Whole college know about us that the these two always seems to be together. Everything was so perfect in our relationship he surpised me so many times by doing wonderful things i too did same for him.
I made handmade gifts for him , he took me for shopping for small tours we hugged each other we spend quality time each other we were so perfect for each other . But after that he told me that he wants to do mba after btech i supported him in his every decision i was always there for him whenever he got sad whenever he want support i was completely available for him everytime i was doing this by my choice not by pressure i loved to talk talk to him , be with him . His mba coaching start from the month of july then he needed time for study also i gave sufficient amount of time so that he secure a good pecentile in cat . One year passes like that he stuided daily n waited daily to talk to him . Now comes the 4 th year of btech and also the last year of our studies and yeah imp fr cat too . As the time being close to the cat exam he felt very tensed but i normalised him . Finally he gave the cat exam and secure very good percentile which made me proud of him . After cat our time had been started now we again spend some quality time with each other . Thtat tym was so special and i always cherish that time .Cat interview started then he gave many interviews and got selected in one of them . Everyone was happy but we two were not because the tym had come and we had to separated now . We both cried on the last day of college we hugged each other and gave gifts to each other and good wishes for future. He was a day scholar and i was from other state went there for studies . I came to my home we talked daily share everything but this didnt work for more time . His mba college starts he became very busy at there even he didnt have time to talk to me . This inc distance between us but our love didnt dec it inc day by day and will inc. Whenever he was free we talked for 15-20 min a day not for more . Fights still went on but became normal on the next day . One fight turned our destiny it was on a very small topic then after that we didnt talk for few days after that i called him one day but he didnt pick my call i called him again but he didnt pic. After few min he send me a mail in which he wrote that he quits now and didnt want me in his life anymore also . I called him again tht whats that he picked the call and didnt say anything i asked him continuously that he didnt want me anymore in his life he said no i asked him he didnt love me anymore he said he loves me and will always love me but dont want to be with me. Thats all my story but now felt that one of my body part removed its too depressing .
Please suggest me way to get him back
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 28, 2016 at 11:56 am
Hi Divya,
When was the last time you talked? Do you want to start the no contact rule?
Divya gupta
October 26, 2016 at 9:38 am
I was in a relationship for last more than 2 years we were together in college . First we became friends in first year of btech and then this friendship grew stronger day by day .We fight alot but fights were normal to us and we came on track easily . Then after two years of btech we decided to be together forever . That was the most beautiful day of my life i don know when and how i started loved him . We spend so much time together . Whole college know about us that the these two always seems to be together. Everything was so perfect in our relationship he surpised me so many times by doing wonderful things i too did same for him.
I made handmade gifts for him , he took me for shopping for small tours we hugged each other we spend quality time each other we were so perfect for each other . But after that he told me that he wants to do mba after btech i supported him in his every decision i was always there for him whenever he got sad whenever he want support i was completely available for him everytime i was doing this by my choice not by pressure i loved to talk talk to him , be with him . His mba coaching start from the month of july then he needed time for study also i gave sufficient amount of time so that he secure a good pecentile in cat . One year passes like that he stuided daily n waited daily to talk to him . Now comes the 4 th year of btech and also the last year of our studies and yeah imp fr cat too . As the time being close to the cat exam he felt very tensed but i normalised him . Finally he gave the cat exam and secure very good percentile which made me proud of him . After cat our time had been started now we again spend some quality time with each other . Thtat tym was so special and i always cherish that time .Cat interview started then he gave many interviews and got selected in one of them . Everyone was happy but we two were not because the tym had come and we had to separated now . We both cried on the last day of college we hugged each other and gave gifts to each other and good wishes for future. He was a day scholar and i was from other state went there for studies . I came to my home we talked daily share everything but this didnt work for more time . His mba college starts he became very busy at there even he didnt have time to talk to me . This inc distance between us but our love didnt dec it inc day by day and will inc. Whenever he was free we talked for 15-20 min a day not for more . Fights still went on but became normal on the next day . One fight turned our destiny it was on a very small topic then after that we didnt talk for few days after that i called him one day but he didnt pick my call i called him again but he didnt pic. After few min he send me a mail in which he wrote that he quits now and didnt want me in his life anymore also . I called him again tht whats that he picked the call and didnt say anything i asked him continuously that he didnt want me anymore in his life he said no i asked him he didnt love me anymore he said he loves me and will always love me but dont want to be with me. Thats all my story but now felt that one of my body part removed its too depressing .
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 28, 2016 at 11:56 am
Hi Divya,
When was the last time you talked? Do you want to start the no contact rule?
Julie S.
October 25, 2016 at 9:53 pm
So, this isn’t about getting back with an ex, I’m looking for advice on how to get a potential future boyfriend to talk/text me again and hopefully meet again. I’ll give you a little bit of background information about my situation.
He and I met online and chatted on their and eventually exchanged numbers and have been texting. We met 11 days ago and through text said we would both like to meet again. The last time we were in contact was Thursday. I made the mistake of messaging him a lot over the weekend (all with no response). I sent him a message yesterday saying that I really like him and enjoyed spending time together and that he was a really respectful gentleman towards me. I also said if he would like to meet again to let me know and that I was sorry if I had bothered or annoyed him with all my texts. I really like him and want to see him again, what do you suggest I do? I’ve also decided to not contact him for a while and see what happens. Thank you so much! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 26, 2016 at 11:59 pm
Hi Julie S,
We cant guarantee anything and you’re already doing what you should be doing.. stopping contact.. maybe he thought you were needy, when you sent him a lot of texts after not replying..so the best thing you can do isay low and go back to your life before initiating contact again..Ifhe doesnt answer, that means you should move on.. lay low for two weeks..
Naomi
October 25, 2016 at 11:49 am
Hi, I was wondering if you could shed some light on my situation.
I’ll give you a bri4ef background on my relationship with my ex. We are a young couple and we were together for 1 year it’s not been an easy relationship but it was going quite well especially as of late, throughout this summer and leading up til end of September. We would talk about our future together, marriage and children. End of September during one of our conversation about our future plans he surprised me by saying that he needs a break from me so he can have some space and time to ‘build his life’ and to figure out where he wants to take this relationship.
I asked to meet up so he can explain where this is coming from. During our meeting I asked if this has anything to do with another woman (he has cheated on me in the past) he admitted that he started talking to a girl he used to date in the past. I asked him if this has anything to do with his request for a break, he said no and that he doesnt have time or energy for other women. I know him very well and I know that he has got a great job, great family, great social life and friends. He stays healthy and active so there is truly nothing troubling him in his life. I feel that he is using this break as an excuse to hang out with this girl or other females without me ‘lingering’ or him having the guilty feeling of cheating on me. So I told him that I will not agree to a break because I dont understand what the genuine reason is so I ended it with him. He did not fight to keep me. So I suppose the break up was mutual. I started the NC immediately but kept him on all my social media accounts so that he can see how good i’m looking and how good i’m doing. We are almost at the end of the NC and he hasn’t contacted me at all. I love him and I want him back but I do not want to be the first to contact him as he will have the upper hand – he is very stubborn. Help
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 26, 2016 at 10:12 am
Hi Naomi,
how many days did you do nc and how much did you improve?
Naomi
October 24, 2016 at 5:44 pm
Hi, I was wondering if you could shed some light on my situation.
I’ll give you a brief background on my relationship with my ex. We are a young couple and we were together for 1 year it’s not been an easy relationship but it was going quite well especially as of late, throughout this summer and leading up til end of September. We would talk about our future together, marriage and children. End of September during on of our conversation about our future plans he surprised me by saying that he needs a break from me so he can have some space and time to ‘build his life’ and to figure out where he wants to take this relationship.
I asked to meet up so he can explain where this is coming from. During our meeting I asked if this has anything to do with another woman (he has cheated on me in the past) he admitted that he started talking to a girl he used to date in the past. I asked him if this has anything to do with his request for a break, he said no and that he doesnt have time or energy for other women. I know him very well and I know that he has got a great job, great family, great social life and friends. He stays healthy and active so there is truly nothing troubling him in his life. I feel that he is using this break as an excuse to hang out with this girl or other females without me ‘lingering’ or him having the guilty feeling of cheating on me. So I told him that I will not agree to a break because I dont understand what the genuine reason is so I ended it with him. He did not fight to keep me. So I suppose the break up was mutual. I started the NC immediately but kept him on all my social media accounts so that he can see how good i’m looking and how good i’m doing. We are almost at the end of the NC and he hasn’t contacted me at all. I love him and I want him back but I do not want to be the first to contact him as he will have the upper hand – he is very stubborn. Help
Naomi
October 27, 2016 at 9:42 am
Today will have been 1 month of NC and I’ve realised the things that went wrong and the parts that I played and also what not to do or accept in the relationship in the future
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 28, 2016 at 10:25 pm
That’s good.. But what actions have you started during nc that you will continue while rebuilding rapport with him? If he sees you, would he think you’ve improved or at least starting to improve? Did you go the gym, volunteer, went out with friends, made new friends, joined new short courses? If you did, that’s good. Continue, if it looks like you’ve moved on or starting to move on, it’s ok to initiate contact. Check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 26, 2016 at 10:12 am
Hi Naomi,
how many days did you do nc and how much did you improve?
Gabrielle
October 23, 2016 at 8:57 pm
Hello, my name is Gabrielle. My boyfriend has just blocked me on his phone but he did not block me from whatsapp nor any other social apps. We had a fight a month ago where I said something which upset him. I keep apologising and asked if we could start a new page, he said yes but he still act like a stranger few days after. We are currently in a long distance relationship. Because of him acting cold to me, I keep calling him and he got angry and he blocked my number. He shouted at me on the phone to leave him. I got really scared, I don’t know what I should do, I really love him and I really want him back, I can’t bear to see him acting like a stranger to me. After he blocked me on phone, I tried to whatsapp him few hours later, thinking that he might have cooled down, he replied me that he had enough from me, is he just angry or he really doesn’t want this relationship anymore? We have been together for four years and we are looking towards marriage. Is it a good time for me to start the ‘no contact’ rule now given that he is so angry at me, he might have the perception that we are breaking up already if I did not contact him. I am really down and worried now.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 25, 2016 at 2:24 pm
Hi Gabrielle,
if you continue to talk to him, would he be happy or annoyed?
Kerri
October 22, 2016 at 11:31 pm
I’m on day one of NC, day one got cut short yesterday because he came over to see me (wondered why I haven’t replied to an important message, he is blocked from my phone). I am going absolutely mental on the inside after so long of being together everyday and no nothing. But before I found this page I was so glad I googled “emotionally unattached males”, I think he was shocked yesterday how I said, “you can not just come and visit when you feel like, I adore you but I adore myself too” Considering he was the one that broke up with me, (unfortunately to an extent it feels like a game, but with one sentence I felt I had total control), this page has instantly bought the strong back out in me. I have now blocked him from all social media and as it says in the article… “He is now the victom”.
Stay strong I have saved this page so I can re cap on it every day if I have to.
Kerri
October 22, 2016 at 11:41 pm
P.s. I just re read this, and it sounds like a situation where I could just have him back. But it’s been over for two weeks now, in that two weeks I cried, I begged, there was no sorry as it was a shock break up. That’s where the “emotionally unavailable” came in. So it’s emotionally unavailable (not unattached). So after two weeks of being shut down, I found this page. Everything has changed for the better and going from a begging crazy ex to now… The difference in him is amazing. But actually enjoying the me time too
Melody
October 22, 2016 at 11:25 pm
My boyfriend if 2 years officially ended it on Monday. Originally he ended it 2 weeks ago telling me he needed to work on himself and he feels he needs to do it alone and that it’s not me it’s him but then he called me later that day and we got back together. Then on Saturday he told me over the phone we couldn’t do this anymore so he ended it. I flipped out and called and texted on Sunday and then on Monday we met and settled it in person. In the end he said he had made up his mind, but that he loves me and doesn’t want to never talk again and doesn’t know what are chances are in the future. He seemed very upset and I trust 100% that he isn’t interested in anyone else and that he is genuinely interested in figuring himself out. He kissed me several times and hugged me and walked me to my room, then left. So, I’ve been no contact since Monday which is almost a week now and it’s hard but I’m hopeful that if we talk again things will work out. For the last few months I’ve been a terrible girlfriend because I was going through some stuff and I never got the chance to apologize for taking him for granted and for being so unpleasant. I know he loves me but I get scared that if I don’t at least apologize and show him I’ve realized why he actually had to end it then he’ll think I haven’t changed and that it will never work. I’m waiting until my birthday because I believe he will text me happy birthday to talk to him, which is a little less than a month away. If he doesn’t talk to me on my birthday I’m going to text him the day after. But when I do talk to him, whatdo I do? I love him and I’m dedicated to starting our relationship over to fix what I was doing wrong. Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 24, 2016 at 5:47 pm
Hi Melody,
so you mean he’s not really telling the truth about improving himself? He really broke up with you because you took him for granted? If you’re going to apologize, I think it’s better to do it now, so that you’ll know if you need to restart no contact or if it can really make him go back to you..
Emma
October 22, 2016 at 10:34 am
My boyfriend dumped me 3 weeks ago to get back together with his ex girlfriend. I sent a lot of texts in the first few days, trying to understand it, which he replied nicely too. I then started no contact however I gave in after 2 weeks and sent a short text on his birthday. He replied with a short polite message. I then started no contact again so am trying for 30 days since his birthday. He said that he had genuine feelings for me and is sorry but realised he still has strong feelings for his ex. My question is this – should I do anything differently as he essentially left me for another woman? I think I might go longer than 30 days. I feel that if I was to text, he would reply in the same polite way just saying sorry.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 23, 2016 at 1:20 pm
Hi Emma,looks like you’re a rebound.. check this one:
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?
Chan
October 22, 2016 at 9:11 am
My boyfriend broke up with me in August thru text. Two weeks after, I found out that I was pregnant, i told him right away and he thought it was just a desperate move to get back with him. Its been a roller coaster month of september for me to wanting to fix everything for my child. He always emphasizes my wrongdoings in the past… verbally abusive knowing that I am pregnant. I shut him off, blocked him everywhere and decided to do the no contact. Does he still think about me? Even though the situation right now is hard. Of course I still want him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 23, 2016 at 12:07 pm
Hi Chan,
more likely yes, he’s still thinking about you but it’s better to just do no contact for now if it’s getting toxic..check this one too:
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant
MaddyJ
October 21, 2016 at 4:35 pm
I’m wondering if you think that the no contact rule will work with a man who is apparently emotionally damaged? I’m 37, he’s 45 and has been divorced for 3 years. He has dated during that time period, but it does not appear that he was serious with anyone. We had been getting to know each other, just talking, for nearly 6 months before we went on a date. I was hesitant because he spends so much time on Facebook adding women constantly. Right away after our first date he is telling me he has not felt this way in a long time and really likes me. He texted me constantly, we spent a lot of time together for a month, he started to open up some, but then he started blowing me off, forgetting our dates, not wanting to spend time with me yet still constantly texting me. I did meet his children and he told me he had only introduced them to one other person. I even went to watch their sporting events, but we had limited quality time. After only two months together and a repeated blowing-off incident, I told him that it wasn’t working out for me. He of course got angry. For two weeks we had some pleasant texting, initiated by him, but when I suggested we meet he brushed me off. He went crazy on Facebook, posting 5-25 random things a day and adding 30 women in two weeks. A week ago I suggested meeting again, he said yes. The following day when I tried to confirm the time he never responded after 2 texts, but was on Facebook spamming memes. So, I decided to go no contact. Three days in I get a very late night text from him saying he is bad at this, he never meant to disappoint me but keeps doing it, so sorry. I did not respond. I care for him, but am thinking he is too damaged and confused. He was the perfect boyfriend for a month. I’m wondering if you think the no contact can help with someone who is either damaged, or maybe just not interested…
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 23, 2016 at 10:32 am
Hi MaddyJ,
nope,.it’s not a cure for someone else’s internal problem.. It can help increase your chance of making him realize and maybe act on it himself but even if it’s like that..he has to get professional counseling
Emily
October 21, 2016 at 1:14 am
A bf of a few months broke up with me this past week. I automatically went into NC. 2 days into it I posted something on Facebook and he liked it. I should mention I unfriended him on FB soon after I saw he liked it because I didn’t want him knowing anything about what was going on in my life due to fact I felt like that made him have an advantage over me after he was the one who hurt me. Why did he like my post? I haven’t heard from him since and it’s almost been a week.
Emily
October 22, 2016 at 5:28 pm
I already deleted him… you saying that now makes me regret it… Would this possibly crush any chance of him possibly contacting me again since now he probably thinks I hate him? :-/
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 23, 2016 at 6:48 pm
just make your posts public..that way he can still see it through a different account or in his own account.. he’ll probably miss you more.. at least if he doesnt initiate, he would be exciting to talk to you when you initiate
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 22, 2016 at 5:19 pm
Hi Emily,
it’s better if he sees your posts..that way, there’s a hugher chance of him missing you because he can see your improvements and yet you’re not talking to him…
J
October 19, 2016 at 10:57 pm
My ex and I split months ago, but we still stayed as fwb’s who still had feelings for eachother, we just doubted that if we got back together things would change, we assumed it would go back to being messy and arguing all the time. But I felt really that I was responsible, I looked back on the ups and downs and realised yes he wasn’t perfect, but I was actually really bad to him at times, so I apologised, tried to man up and get back with him… He denied my advances and a month later he has a new boyfriend, he still refused to give us a shot so I told him exactly how I felt and told him I was going to move on, which included cutting contact with him…
However 2 days in and he’s texting me, I know he misses our friendship and I doubt he has anything close to it with his new boyfriend, so he’s still trying to act like my friend, he’s trying to make me feel guilty for ignoring him. Telling me I’m selfish and that I said I’d always be there for him no matter what… Then he starts telling me how his day went, and what he got up to…
I don’t know if this is a silent call for my affection and a sign he wants me back, or if he’s actually pissed off at me and I’ll push him away even more…
I want him to remember the good parts of me, not see me as a sudden asshole and a problem for not being there for him…
I’m scared to lose him :/
J
October 22, 2016 at 7:51 pm
I guess you’re right, he does just want to be my friend… I want to break out of that.
Even when he’s with his new boyfriend he texts me, telling me what he’s up to, what TV show he’s watching… it’s like he wants a reaction from me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 21, 2016 at 5:05 pm
Hi J,
yeah but right now, it looks like you’re just friendzoned
Lilly
October 19, 2016 at 2:44 pm
I am 8 days into the no contact rule and he messaged me saying, “I still want to be friends,” should I continue with the no contact rule or just give up and be friends? i really want to get back together but I’m not sure he ever will. At first i begged to get back together but he told me he doesn’t love me anymore and maybe I should accept that and move on? I just don’t know if its worth trying to get him back when it seems he doesn’t have any feelings left for me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 21, 2016 at 11:53 am
Hi Lilly,
That will depend on you.. we cant advice you to finish nc, if you’re ready to just stop and be friends
Jy
October 19, 2016 at 9:37 am
Hi!
I have question- What about this situation- He always says that I ‘m great and if I asked him do I have to change something- no, you are great, nice etc.
We are in bed and suddenly he just jump from bed and telling me to go home. I don’t understand what is happening and he starts shouting on me to go home. Finally he is opening the door, shouting on me and telling me awful words. Did I tell you that 10 min before that we were in bed laughing.
He stopped calling me after that. We had almost NC ( I broke it) and I went on vacation. I came back, we changed few sms. After few days I left him souvenir in front of his door (that was our way for gifts after brake ups-door, car…) and he returned it on my car. I went to his office, I wanted to talk but he started to call me bad names and after that put his hands on my neck. Then he blocked my number.
From the beginning of our relationship he would just vanish and then came back into my life. He lives in my building, he is older than me, he doesn’t have other woman, when we are together everything looks more than nice and then suddenly… We have same look on every subject, like same things. I’m very confused.
Jy
October 24, 2016 at 9:59 am
We were laughing, cuddling…In his house. And in his office I told him that he doesn’t respect me and I want to talk with him.
I need to understand this. I was so lost and confused. And he is always telling me how great and nice I am…
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 25, 2016 at 8:21 pm
If he is bipolar, then that explains it..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 21, 2016 at 1:11 am
hi Jy,
what were you talking about when he asked you to leave? he sounds bipolar.. but even if not, you should move on.. strangling you is abuse.. we dont advice going back to abusive relationships..
A
October 18, 2016 at 8:24 pm
Hi,
My ex and I were together for almost 2 years and lived together for 10 months. He broke up with me 08/04, so about 2 1/2 months ago. I messed up the first 7 weeks, begging, crying…calling him and such. He broke up with me due to our arguing, we talked about marriage and children everyday so it was out of the blue for me bc I thought we’d never break up. I also messed up and slept with him after a month of us breaking up and also wrote him a letter about realizing the mistakes we had both made and owned up to them. After the sex, he told me he felt bad and didn’t want me to have false hope of us getting back together, which really stung. A couple of days after that I went off on him somewhat telling him he used me and I wasn’t that kind of girl and stuff. He sent me a long email about being sorry for everything, but we couldn’t be together and stuff. I’m blocked on his fb, so I just deleted my fb so I wouldn’t look him up. We don’t follow each other on Instagram but neither of us are blocked so I think he looks at that but I’m not sure. Flash to today, I am on Day 20 of no contact. It was hard to get here, and I haven’t heard a word for him. Do you think there’s still a chance for him and I? Even though there were arguments, we were very happy with each other. Were also only 20 years old, not sure if that matters. How many days of no contact do you think I should do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 20, 2016 at 4:58 pm
Hi A,
do at least 45..I think there’s a chance, but you have to really genuinely change.. forget the previous relationship and take this as a restart.. Start out slowly as being friendly only at first..
Yeah, you’re young and he’s young, so what you need to keep in mind is that you have to take it slow and you need to have your own life even when you’re in a relationship..
Ashley
October 18, 2016 at 5:52 pm
Hi,
My situation is a little different from most that I’ve read about. My ex and I were together for 4 years. He broke up with me a month ago and I started NC immediately the next day. The reason for breaking up was because he did not want to be in a long-term relationship, which I am assuming is because he got so hurt by a previous girlfriend who cheated on him. I would never cheat on him and I have tried to make sure he knew he could trust me, but apparently he still has trust issues. He also said he wants to be able to do things freely, like spend time with his friends doing guy things and by himself, without me being in the back of his mind. He was crying a little bit and trying to comfort me during the breakup, but he said he couldn’t guarantee that we would get to see each other again which broke my heart even more. He also said he wanted me to have a chance to get myself back on my feet since I lost my job a couple of months ago.
During our relationship, we never fought and always got along great. He started taking care of his grandparents a couple of years ago which has added some stress to his life. I only got to see him a few days a week because the rest of the week he was three hours away helping take care of his grandparents.
Since I started NC, I went on a trip by myself to get away and attempt to get him off my mind for a while. I posted some of my pictures from the trip on Snapchat and Facebook. He unfriended me randomly afterwards from Snapchat first and then a week later from Facebook. He has not tried to contact me at all during NC.
I’ve been working on getting myself back on my feet like he said I should do. I’ve had a few job interviews, including one I have tomorrow, and I’m working on a plan to get out on my own as soon as possible and be more self-reliant.
Tomorrow will be the 30th day of NC and I am feeling extremely nervous about contacting him again. I am afraid he won’t reply or his response won’t be positive. I am dying to see him again soon but I don’t know how to make that happen. What would be the best way to do that at this point?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 20, 2016 at 4:23 pm
Hi Ashley,
did you sent a text? Whether you have or haven’t you can still check this out:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Cathy
October 17, 2016 at 7:23 am
My husband and I have been married for 15 years, separated for 3. We are still married, own property together, etc. He has been in a serious relationship with the woman with whom he cheated. They are living together in our home. We have remained on good terms. We text every week or so and he comes over once every month or 2 & we share a bottle of wine and talk. He’s expressed interest in getting back together several times, but we’re still in the same place we were 3 years ago. Lately I’ve been the one who initiates contact. He usually responds with in seconds. I decided to do no contact a couple of weeks ago. While it’s been a positive for me because I feel myself beginning to detach from him and the relationship more ( much needed), I have not heard from him since I started nc. Is this a bad thing? It’s making me very nervous. After the 30 days are over should I hold out until he finally contacts me? Maybe I should do only 21 days? Do you think he is clueless or is he relieved not to hear from me?
Cathy
October 19, 2016 at 8:28 am
Thanks Amore. I was thinking Since we sometimes go awhile without contacting each other & he had a terrible sense of time passage, he might not have even noticed that we haven’t talked in a while. I’ve noticed I’m feeling much stronger & objective about the relationship too. I think can go go 40 days. He’ll probably get the message soon because he transferred money into my account today & I didn’t call & thank him like usual. Hope that doesn’t piss him off. I really need him to keep that up for awhile. He pays for almost everything since I’m in school. Even my satellite radio lol.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 21, 2016 at 12:06 am
ok,
it’s ok to thank him about that..what you need to avoid is asking him of he still wants to get back together..and anything about feelings nor relationship
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 18, 2016 at 4:09 pm
Hi Cathy,
I think you should do 45 days. three years of saying he wants you back and not acting upon is like 3 years of stringing you along..
Lisa
October 16, 2016 at 7:34 pm
Hello,
my situation is a little bit weird. My boyfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago. It was kind of mutual and kind of not, it’s hard to explain. There are no hard feelings between us. About a week after I broke up I started to beg and plead (I know big mistake) until about two weeks later he told me he wanted to move on. I got mad but apologized the next day and he said he forgave me. We were in a long distance relationship (about 2h apart) so most of this went down via text. Here’s the thing though, we bought tickets for a concert when we were still together and we still decided to go. It is next week on what would be my 20th day of NC, so I couldn’t do the NC to the full extent. He texted me a couple of days ago with a question regarding the organisation. I answered him because we had to sort that out. So technically I also broke the NC (though I didn’t send more than two texts). In addition, his family (he hasn’t seen in a long while) is visiting for almost all of NC, so I’m afraid he might not even have the time and headspace to miss me. My question here is, should I start another NC contact period (30 days) after the concert? Or should I slowly start to text him more (like Chris explained in his article about how to text your ex after NC)? Thank you!
Lisa
October 29, 2016 at 3:24 pm
Hi, me again 🙂 So, the concert is over, everything went good, we had a great time. Now, he specifically mentioned that during the time his folks visited he didn’t have any time to himself and that he’s so exhausted and tired from it. Also, me being clingy was one of the reasons he broke up with me (I’m pretty sure). You said to build up rapport but I’m really worried that I’ll come on too strong again. On the other hand, if I do another NC I’m worried that I’ll miss a great “in” to building rapport. Sorry for asking you again, I’m just really confused.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 31, 2016 at 8:17 pm
it’s ok Liza, just ask away.. Just do it slowly build rapport.. Don’t text always for now, continue the routine you started during the 21 days.. so, that you won’t think you’re really at it at trying to get him back.
Lisa
October 18, 2016 at 1:39 pm
I started seeking help for some issues, started working out (I now run almost every day), got a new part-time job (I’m a student) and focused more on my studies.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 20, 2016 at 11:16 am
That’s good.. I think you just have to consider it a 21 day no contact period and then slowlu build rapport after the concert but continue the actvities you started even while building rapport with him..
Lisa
October 16, 2016 at 7:35 pm
By the way we were together for 8 months, but saw each other almost every week and texted/skyped every day.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 18, 2016 at 10:31 am
Hi Lisa,
How much did you improve during this nc?
Leica
October 16, 2016 at 5:28 pm
Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago. We went no contact as soon as we broke up. Then I reached out to him and we began talking. He wanted me back and I was happy. But he was abit distant again after and decided he wasn’t ready and neither was I. Any interaction we had after ended eventually in arguments and I decided to clear the air and go no contact and tell him I’ve moved on. Since then It’s been nearly 2 months since I spoke to him and he hasn’t reached out or anything , I do think he is quite scared to speak to me After what I said but at the same time its strange to think someone you knew for 3 years can go that long without speaking to you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 17, 2016 at 10:13 pm
Hi Leica,
If he’s scared, then he’s just waiting for you to initiate..