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Post categories
Emilie
October 14, 2016 at 2:15 pm
Hei! Am already doing the NC for 2 weeks and my ex doesnt seems to be bother at all. He went on a 1 week funny trip with a friend and drink beers every night and posted on his facebook like he is so happy, happy pictures, the best is out to come in his life and that he was tortured by our love. All these things really hurt me… He is a really stubborn man and i really think that he wont come back to me or even contact me after the NC. I really want to know what is it in his head right now because right now my hope is going down. Please tell me?!
Emilie
October 14, 2016 at 7:16 pm
Of course i want to improve myself and have fun but right now i dont have the opportunity to do it. I know it is time for me to heal myself and to accept the situation. But by posting happy pictures and quotes that love destroyed him makes me feel that he is tying to hurt me even so he broke up with me and he already knew that i can see him on my home page. I really feel targeted!? He broke up so why he is playing the victim?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 15, 2016 at 3:28 am
I dont think he’s playing the victim.. he’s just having fun.. but if he is playing the victim, then he’s succeeding because you’re affected..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 14, 2016 at 4:59 pm
Hi Emilie,
We don’t know what’s exactly in his head right now, but you should be doing what he’s doing. Have fun. Whether he contacts you or not during nc, if he sees or talks to you after nc, would he be attracted to you? Or would he think you didn’t grow nor improve at all? That you’re still the old you that he left..
Feefi
October 14, 2016 at 7:32 am
my bf is always ignoring ne wenni ask him why he says he’s not ignoring me Its the network. what should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 14, 2016 at 4:34 pm
Hi Feefi,
So you’re still together? how many days is he ignoring you?
Laura
October 11, 2016 at 12:11 pm
Hi, I had to tell my ex that “I needed some time and space and that I would reach out to him when and if I was ready”. The only communication I’ve had from him is a couple of pics and audio recordings of our cat (random!). Obviously I’ve ignored those. As my ex knows I’m not talking to him at the moment, should I not be worried if he doesn’t contact me at all during this time (except for the cat pics!) as he might just be respecting what I said?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 5:06 pm
yes, you shouldn’t be worried.. Focus more in improving yourself.. Make the most of this no contact time you have.
samantha
October 10, 2016 at 9:55 pm
Hello! Ok so here it goes (Sorry its long. but I’m in need of advice! Yes i bought the ExboyfriendrecoveryPro and it is SO WORTH the money!) Ok my ex boyfriend and i had been together for 4.5 years. The first two years were tough. I finally had enough and was done. I was getting ready to start Law School and i didn’t want the drama in my life. I ignored him and eventually after a few months we got back together. When we got back together everything was amazing! He gave me a key to his place, he wanted to spend every moment with me and we just had a good time. We were each others best friend, but we loved each other and had the physical attraction. I took a year off from school because i was also working full time and i had some family things going on. My ex was supportive and still my best friend. We could go out with people and have fun or we could just stay in and have fun just us. We didn’t need to drink or have sex, we just always had fun. In March he told me he didn’t see a future with me. He said he didn’t see a future with anyone. I was devastated because this was totally out of no where. I gave him his key back and left. A few days later he said he wanted to always be part of my life and he wanted things to stay how they have been. which like a emotional idiot, things stayed the same with us. I never are a pair and sat down with him and talked. Everything was good, we continued to talk everyday, sometimes we would sleep together and sometimes not (it wasn’t all about that). We would tell each other everything (well almost). Then a little over a month ago, i stayed with him on a Friday. We cooked dinner together and went to bed early, i had to work the next day. I found out Saturday after i left he went out with a girl he had been on tinder. I saw their picture on Facebook. I felt like i had been punched in the stomach. We have talked since. He said he was going to start seeing the girl. I found out a few weeks ago the girl is over here from Columbia on a student visa and can barely speak english (so its not like they have a ton in common.) she is a live in nanny with a family so she has to be home at a certain time and he always has to drive. I am on day 17 of the no contact! I am slowly learning to love myself again and feel good about me. Im becoming the BEST version of myself! I still have some work to do! My ex texted me last Sunday to see how my weekend was. Then he said “Oh are yo not talking to me?” when i didn’t respond after a few hours. I said nothing. Two days later he sent me a video of his little niece and said she got her first pair of shoes! I said nothing back. Then a day later he sent me a picture of his niece at the zoo. Then i haven’t heard anything else. Which is ok. But why does he send me pictures of his niece? He clearly figured out that I’m not talking to him so why would he send those to me? Do i even have a chance with him if i cut him off before? I have learned a lot about myself these past few weeks and i hope to just continue to become the BEST version of me. I know i will be okay without him! But i love him and i don’t want to have a future where he isn’t there. I know he has to be the one who wants to be there and i owe that to you. I can’t make someone do something or love me. I just need to know if someone has already ignored someone and then they got back together for a few years can it still work again? Thanks for all your help! sorry i wrote a book!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 4:03 pm
Hi Samantha,
yes, it has happened.. He probably used his niece as a topic because he thought you would reply to that.. And he’s probably thinking now that you’re not going to be at his beck and call anymore.. which is good, because it helps you be out of the friendzone
maria
October 10, 2016 at 3:19 pm
Hi, my children’s father hasn’t been contacting me, even to contact them, so I started another no contact 4 days ago. Well yesterday out of nowhere I got a text from him telling me to stop talking about his friend, (my former friend), and to grow up. If he didn’t care or wasn’t trying to find a reason to text me, would he have texted me on such nonsense?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 10:34 am
well, yes, he still cares but don’t engage in those kind of interactions.. if he asks about the kids, that’s ok to answer just as long as you only talk about the kids.. if he gets negative, don’t engage.
jenn
October 9, 2016 at 3:18 am
I would like your help. So I met my ex a year ago (he hadn’t been in a relationship in a few years and neither had I). Instantly it was perfect. Everything was fantastic until I cheated 6 months in. I don’t mean to get too personal here but in order too get the proper response it needs to be said. We had a threesome with someone he considers family. But to myself and the other party it was strictly sex. I told my boyfriend if he wasn’t okay with it to just tell me and it wouldn’t happen; I had no feelings for the third party it’s just that he was there and it was a fantasy of mine. My ex’s response was “id do anything for you. We’ll find out” so anyways that happened. After it happened I knew what happened was pointless. Around a week later (the third party lived with us) the third party asked me if I wanted to mess around while my boyfriend was at work. I told him I wasn’t sure. I hesitated. But the third party constantly kept telling me he had asked my ex and (my ex) said it was okay. Anyways half way down the hall I rethought the idea but then got forced into the sexual act. I didn’t mention it to my ex or call the police BC my ex is on parole and there are reasons. But my ex found out BC the third party ran his mouth while intoxicated when I wasn’t home. We almost broke up. But my ex kept telling me he believed me. Well after this happened within these past 4 months he’s been on and off with me. Telling me he’s not going anywhere, telling me forever and ever, and then other times leaving me home alone when we made a deal we would spend at least one day a week together. He would break it and go with his friends. Okay so two weeks ago he just randomly comes to the bedroom door and says “you and I are done. I can’t do this anymore” and leaves with his friend. I lay there screaming for over an hour because I just didn’t understand. Since the break up I have been too afraid to call him or anything. But then yesterday I just texted him telling him congrats on his 1 year and I was proud of him. He replied with thank you im going to make it. I said please call me. He replied with ‘soon OK’ and I replied with thank you and that was all. But he messaged one of my friends telling them that he isn’t going to be used ever again. I just don’t understand what’s going on or what I should do here. I’ve had weeks to think and realize whatever decision he makes I have to respect. I’ve leavened a lot more about myself and my mistakes have become clearer. I can’t express enough that i feel terrible and i would do anything i had to to change this. Given my past and the way this ended I have no want to be with another guy in any way if it isn’t him. I’ve been faithful since everything happened with the third party. I’ve apologized before the breakup numerous times along with writing him letters. He said he forgave me. The night before he broke up with me, we were even intimate and he told me he loved me. His attitude didn’t change enough in these last 4 months for me to see something was going to happen. He never told me why he broke up with me either. He told me we’d talk about it someday. I understand that he needs time to heal but I just feel like I’ve lost him for good. I may have betrayed his trust by what happened but he has betrayed mine by leaving me alone when we agreed to compromise I would get one day a week to spend with him. Amongst other things. To me this relationship is worth fighting for because the good times far out way the bad even though this one was huge. I have no interest in being with another person if this can’t work out because asking with my past this has hurt me way to much to go through a second time with another person. I would be 100% willing to wipe the slate clean and start fresh with no communication about our previous relationship but I don’t really know how to bring it up to him. What do you suggest I do here? Please help. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 8:59 pm
Hi Jenn,
I think he doesn’t think he broke your trust because for him, it might have been that everything that happened was just over his moral compass. First he did the threesome for you, not for him. And then you cheated on him.. So, maybe he can’t stop thinking that you will do all of it again. And for him leaving you was just the only option to heal…
To be honest, it would take time to really have a clean slate..There’s a chance he might want you back but that doesn’t mean he would see you differently, it just means he misses you.. I’m not saying there’s really no chance anymore but whether he goes back to you soon or not, you have to genuinely change.. So, that even if doesn’t get back soon, someday, he might right? I don’t like giving false hopes, but that’s just really the best guess I could make.. And if he comes back, that’s good for you, that means you just have to keep changing and keep proving while you’re with him..
If you want the later to happen, then you have to start changing now..Cut all ties with the other guy and really change…check this one too:
Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)
EBR 020- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated
Alexis
October 9, 2016 at 2:29 am
We met about 5 yrs ago while he was dating/living with someone. She found out (mutual friends), lied & told him she was pregnant so he’d marry her. When he found out she had lied, they were already married & she wasn’t pregnant. He tried to break it off, she got pregnant for real. We continued our relationship/affair but one day he told me he felt guilty over this with a child on the way & broke it off, vowing to remain friends w/me. We kept contact but not physically for another 6 months. We didn’t see each other but was consistent in contacting me. As soon as his child was born, he was at my door & we started again. This went on for another 4 yrs. Slowly, he got busier & visits became infrequent within the last 2 months. But he maintained contact every day/night. One day I just asked him what’s going on with us & he told me he feels guilty again. The conversation was almost an exact replay of the one we had yrs ago. The only difference was he said they are trying to make it work for the child’s sake. I told him we couldn’t stay friends this time. He was in shock & stood there as I walked away. That was 3 days ago. There has been no contact, the longest we ever went in 5 yrs. Before you judge us, please know there is a lot to this story I’m leaving out for the sake of brevity. I love this man & know he loves me. Would this rule work here? He is def a stubborn type with a dab of clueless. I really need a man’s point of view here. Thank you in advance.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 8:13 pm
Hi Alexis,
he’s not clueless.. he just chose to stick to the routine that was easiest and most convenient for him and you allowed it.. That is to stay with his family while keeping you as the mistress.. Maybe it didn’t feel all good to him but that was definitely the easiest way for him to get all that he wants.. It’s easier to hurt you(even unintentionally) than talk to his wife, get a divorce and talk to his child and say that he will not be gone.
If you really want him to commit, you have to risk losing him. He’s not a child.. If he wants to make things right, he has to face the consequences and work for his relationship with you and his child..
If he doesn’t want that, then you have to let him go..
Angel
October 8, 2016 at 7:58 pm
14 days into no contact I got a text saying yeah you can come see me,like he was replying to me asking…so like I fool I replied saying do u want to see me!? No reply! That was just over a week ago..confused?!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 6:50 pm
Hi Angel,
You shouldn’t have replied.. that was breaking the no contact rule.. first, he might be just testing you..so, you have to restart the count..
jessica
October 8, 2016 at 8:39 am
Hello,
My name is Jessica, my ex and I (I don’t even know if he’s an ex, no one said it’s over) have been dating for a while and on the 11th he went on a business trip with his colleagues, he was suppose to be gone for seven days and he told me how busy he would be during the course of the trip and two days in he hadn’t even sent me a text telling me if he had a safe trip or not. I called and he answered but we didn’t talk. I didn’t even say hello I was so damn angry. He was fine, the least he could’ve done was send a text. Two days later still no word from him. I sent him a text telling him I’ve had enough. I didn’t like the way he was doing things. And then two days before he was scheduled to come back my sister and I had a fight and she wanted to hurt me just as much as I’d hurt her and so she sent an email breaking up with him pretending to be me, sent him messages with my phone and the second I saw these I called him, sent him messages explaining that what ever message he got wasn’t from me and I apologized, asked him to forgive me for whatever was said to him. And he said he ‘wasn’t ready to trust me for now’. We didn’t speak for ten days. And then I sent him messages on the eleventh day. He didn’t respond. I’m not planning on ever speaking to him again. I’m angry and disappointed in him. He lied said my sister sent him rude messages there was not even one single message like that. Only break up messages. He said he was called ugly names which is not true. I still want him back though but at the same time I don’t. I love him I won’t lie but I don’t think I want a man who can be so ‘busy’ that he can’t spare two minutes to send a text. And so I’m wondering, do you think I should continue ignoring him, do you think he’s angry or am I right in thinking he’s just using this as an excuse? It’s like he was looking for a way out anyway and the thing with my sister gave him a good enough reason without making him out to be a jerk.
Thanks in advance.
Jessica
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 3:25 pm
Hi Jessica,
if he lied about the texts your sister, then yes, he might have just used that to get out of the relationship.. Do you want to try doing the no contact period so, that you can have more time for yourself to gain clarity?
Brandi
October 8, 2016 at 12:08 am
I dumped my boyfriend a week ago because I went through his phone and found that he was sleeping with other women as well as flirting with women on his job. He even told other women he loved them and texted them the same messages as ME! When I confronted him about it his response were the text messages were “old” (like I can’t read the dates 2 days before we slept together) However, with that being said I must add that I’m on day 5 of NC and even though he’s a douche bag I miss him terribly. (We’ve only been dating a month) should I hold my breath or keep it moving?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 1:52 pm
Hi Brandi,
what do you mean by keep it moving?
Dana Marie
October 7, 2016 at 12:23 am
Hi there… first off thank you for this article, it helps a lot. Well my ex swept me off my feet and we lived together for two years before out of nowhere he left. When I got home from work all his things were gone and I was left with a text that said “we are just not compatible, I jut can’t anymore.” Now this took me by major surprise because we had never broke up before and I would’ve never expected him just to up and leave me. He treated me great, & while I can be tough to deal with I never thought our relationship was on rocks. We were super close with each others families and did everything together. He’s super devoted to joining the air force soon so I feel it has to be something about that as well. Today makes 3 weeks since he left. I begged and cried and showed up where he was for a week and a half… even sent him flowers to work. No luck. He wouldn’t answer my calls or texts and I still haven’t heard from him. I started the no contact rule a week and a half ago…he seems very angry with me, blaming me for everything when he left and also had almost no emotion when I cried to him, which is very unusual for him because he’s constantly checking how I’m feeling. Idk what to do anymore… our relationship was the world to me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 9, 2016 at 4:34 pm
Hi Dana,
time to focus in making and maintaining a new routine.. You said you are a handful, then maybe that added to the reason of why he thinks he needs to break up with you when he joins the military.. And you also said, your relationship was your world, which shows that you lost yourself in it..Focus in getting yourself back. do at least 45 days and then continue that routine even after nc
Melanie
October 6, 2016 at 6:42 am
My ex and I basically split nov 2015. I pushed him away for dismissing my mental health. He kinda still was in contact but not running to me like he use to. Months later I was informed he’s been with someone 17 yrs younger since nov. I lost it. He said she’s nice to him. I tried everything. Kissing axx. To threats. I was a mess for months cause he has blocked me also fr everything. Then April comes around after I’m kinda getting better. Lost 20 lbs by now. I get a txt I MISS U. I was stunned. So stupid me calls him at work to ask him why he txt? To see how I am??? That wasn’t the txt. Then I never heard fr him again till end of July when he left a voicemail through blocked call. Again I stated. If u wanna talk I’ll talk if not just leave me alone. This was on his work voicemail. 4 weeks went by. I noticed the young gf Facebook had a flipping birds as her pic. So I know something went down. HER. End of aug my cell was ringing like crazy. Unknown #. So I ignored. I listened to voice. He said call me. Second message. Hey beautiful. So I called like a fool. He said he wasn’t himself back when he messed me up. We went on 2 dates. All was perfect. I was a different person also. But he’d txt morning and stuff. Then when I’d start talking about US. He said he feels same as me but take things slow. The one night I crashed there crazy ex was drunk and tossed a 2×4 thru his window cause she wanted her key. Ok. I know they’re done. But yeah I’m insecure he saw how I look now. Was blown away. He gained a lot of weight which I don’t mind. We’ve known each other since teens. He want to marry me and move me and my boys in within months of 1st getting together. I was freaked. I never had a normal relationship or know how to have. But I tried just weeks ago to make more plans and I got ignored txt a lot. Then one day I played I need to live life it’s short. Said I’m going to Vegas He’s like with who? I said myself or friends. No comment. So days went by so insecure me started the assuming he’s with her again which I know he’s not. But that’s just me. So he said one last thing. I don’t know where you get your info or assume stuff but this is the only reason I’m not talking to you. YOURE too much for me and said what I said before. Life’s too short. And I responded hours later stating YOU contacted me. I used me. Thanx for messing my head up again. IM BLOCKED. Week and a half now. But old me would be emailing his work or leaving voicemail. I AM NOT. There’s one last thing. The times we went out ? He broke down a few times crying stating he’s sooo broken. What’s going on? We have a concert in 2 weeks. Not by each other but he bought the closest to where I am. So I’ll possibly bump into him we were suppose to go together. Will I ever hear fr him again? We have a lot of history and he’s never felt like this (Feeling,connection ,comfortable ) with anyone. Will NC eventually bring him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 8, 2016 at 6:23 pm
Hi Melanie,
nc will not bring him back.. it’s just a tool for you to help yourself work on what you need to work on.. Put yourself first, work on your insecurity because no matter who you’re with, if you don’t work on that, then you would have the same problem over and over again.
Melanie
October 6, 2016 at 6:41 am
My ex and I basically split nov 2015. I pushed him away for dismissing my mental health. He kinda still was in contact but not running to me like he use to. Months later I was informed he’s been with someone 17 yrs younger since nov. I lost it. He said she’s nice to him. I tried everything. Kissing axx. To threats. I was a mess for months cause he has blocked me also fr everything. Then April comes around after I’m kinda getting better. Lost 20 lbs by now. I get a txt I MISS U. I was stunned. So stupid me calls him at work to ask him why he txt? To see how I am??? That wasn’t the txt. Then I never heard fr him again till end of July when he left a voicemail through blocked call. Again I stated. If u wanna talk I’ll talk if not just leave me alone. This was on his work voicemail. 4 weeks went by. I noticed the young gf Facebook had a flipping birds as her pic. So I know something went down. HER. End of aug my cell was ringing like crazy. Unknown #. So I ignored. I listened to voice. He said call me. Second message. Hey beautiful. So I called like a fool. He said he wasn’t himself back when he messed me up. We went on 2 dates. All was perfect. I was a different person also. But he’d txt morning and stuff. Then when I’d start talking about US. He said he feels same as me but take things slow. The one night I crashed there crazy ex was drunk and tossed a 2×4 thru his window cause she wanted her key. Ok. I know they’re done. But yeah I’m insecure he saw how I look now. Was blown away. He gained a lot of weight which I don’t mind. We’ve known each other since teens. He want to marry me and move me and my boys in within months of 1st getting together. I was freaked. I never had a normal relationship or know how to have. But I tried just weeks ago to make more plans and I got ignored txt a lot. Then one day I played I need to live life it’s short. Said I’m going to Vegas He’s like with who? I said myself or friends. No comment. So days went by so insecure me started the assuming he’s with her again which I know he’s not. But that’s just me. So he said one last thing. I don’t know where you get your info or assume stuff but this is the only reason I’m not talking to you. YOURE too much for me and said what I said before. Life’s too short. And I responded hours later stating YOU contacted me. I used me. Thanx for messing my head up again. IM BLOCKED. Week and a half now. But old me would be emailing his work or leaving voicemail. I AM NOT. There’s one last thing. The times we went out ? He broke down a few times crying stating he’s sooo broken. What’s going on? We have a concert in 2 weeks. Not by each other but he bought the closest to where I am. So I’ll possibly bump into him we were suppose to go together. Will I ever hear fr him again? We have a lot of history and he’s never felt like this (Feeling,connection ,comfortable ) with anyone. Will NC eventually bring him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 8, 2016 at 6:22 pm
Hi Melanie,
nc will not bring him back.. it’s just a tool for you to help yourself work on what you need to work on.. Put yourself first, work on your insecurity because no matter who you’re with, if you don’t work on that, then you would have the same problem over and over again.
Kristina
October 5, 2016 at 1:19 pm
I haven’t actually broken up yet. I found out he’s cheating. I’ve had many conversations in the past about these things and nothing has changed. So I’m thinking, don’t even tell him and start the NC. Words haven’t done anything, so perhaps actions. Think that would work the same way?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 2:28 pm
Hi Kristina,
there’s not guarantee that it will work but if it’s the only thing you haven’t done, then might as well try it.
Trish
October 4, 2016 at 2:58 pm
Hi Chris and Other team members,
I broke up with my ex because he doesnt seem to spend enough time and effort to call, video chat or call. He says he always busy with work and is tired most of the time. i understand all that but is anyone ever truly that busy that they cant call at least once a week? Another thing is that he is not the best communicator and i have spoken to him about it countless times but still no constant change. i have school and im tired too but i make time for him but when i really really need support or just someone to tell me that everything will be okay he is not there for me. another thing is that when i get upset and argue sometimes he doesnt reply until like a day later by saying “hi” as if he didnt see my messsage. i have always just tried to be supportive but at the same time hes not really doing the same. so i read and decided to start the NCR. i am on my fourth day. i feel liberated trying regain confidence and not appear needy.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2016 at 7:39 pm
Hi Trish,
how long were you together? That’s good that you started doing the no
contact rule
Geovanna quinde
October 4, 2016 at 11:26 am
My ex and I were together for three years. He never said he loved me. He never said he was my bf. However, he was the best bf ever. He called every morning. Texted throughout the day. Called at night. Spent every free moment with me. All plans included me. He introduced me to friends and family. Was very supportive. The one thing that was missing was him telling me how he felt about me and calling me his gf.
I finally exploded and broke up with him. He said ok. No argument. Just ok and ‘i never agreed to be your bf.’
I went nuts and became a hateful person. I texted him how he neIver gave a f@#$ about me. How he never cared and what a jerk he was. I went on and on. None of those thigs were true and I know I hurt him.
He said he never wanted to see me or speak to me again
Two weeks ago I saw him at the supermarket and he was very angry. He was shaking and told me not to touch him. I said I missed him. He said good that makes one of us.
I know him really well. I know i really hurt his feelings. I also know that he misses me but he is a very stubborn angry man.
He blocked me. I have no way to contact him after the no contact period. Do I do 21, 30 or 45 days?
Do you think we have a chance.
A couple of months before we broke up, he said I was one of his favorite people. We wet on trips and he thanked me for the best birthday month ever. We were just so happy and got along so great for three years. His previous relationships never made it past 3 to 6 months.
His neighbor is
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2016 at 4:14 pm
Hi Geovanna,
he never called you his gf? even to his friends for 3 years? and yet, you’re the one whose worried that you’ve hurt him, shouldnt he be the one worried if you’ve had enough?
It’s time to put yourself first now.. Do that during the no contact period.. If he really loves you.. he will value you.. check this one too:
How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Commit
Johanne
October 4, 2016 at 11:04 am
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016
Hi Johanne,
why does he want you to leave your job? Was it because he wants you to move near him? Both of you are trying to control one another. He wants you to move, you want to have a part time job..
First, if he really meant that he doesn’t respect you, then it’s better to move on but if he just said that because he’s angry. Then the no contact rule can help for help to cool down. And be active in improving yourself during no contact. Be product, don’t just stop contacting him.
And how long were you together? How old are you both and have you seen each other personally?
Hello , my name is Johanne
To answer to your message:
He wants me to leave my job because i am house keeper full time and he thinks i should do better with my life….
He would have like me to go to new york, but we always agreed it would be for him to move here in canada because, he have no family, and i do have one, and i already have an appartment and job, he dont have job and he is in a room right now finishing is study at university.
We met the 17 january 2013 and the relationship ended a first time in november 28 2014. We started to date back in january 2016 and it ended this september. We see each other 5 times in real life, but we live together 5 months in 2014 in canada before he break up. I have 32 years old and he is 29 years old.
I talk to him 2 days ago, telling me he dont want friendship with me, that he just want me to go away by the door, that he change his mind about having me in his life. Is there a possibility to get him back?
Johanne
October 4, 2016 at 11:12 am
i forget to mention that we met on a videogames….
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 6, 2016 at 2:09 pm
honestly, whether he has a job or not, he doesn’t have the right to disrespect you.. Try sticking to no contact for the last time and just focus in improving and healing yourself.. and then after that take everything as a restart.. take it slow.. don’t ask to be friends.. just be friendly.. if he’s not responsive then move on
Marie
October 3, 2016 at 3:15 pm
I made the mistake of breaking up with my ex-boyfriend exactly 1 week ago after a heated argument. Other than 2 arguments – our relationship was perfect. We talked marriage, kids and even went looking at rings the day before the argument.
He called and texted a ton, begging me to reconsider. I didn’t. Literally hours later I called him back with a change of heart, after having time to think.
He said it was too late and he wanted to be done. I went into panic mode. Called and texted begging and pleading. This was the first time I’ve ever really experienced true heartbreak and I’m 30 years old w/plenty of past relationships.
He stood his ground and said no. But would write me long emails explaining that he has a fear of being abandoned due to his childhood and past volatile relationships.
I convinced him to meet me. We met at his house, had a nice chat – which I told him why (also because of childhood issues) I tend to run away, but learned my lesson with him – because I truly love him and don’t want to be without him. He forgave me. We were intimate. I left the next morning and things were great – so I thought.
Later that night he told me he didn’t want to get together because he needed time to think and wanted to be alone. Complete 180. So I got tired of tbe ups and downs and pretty much just told him that I respected his decision and ended the call. I received a long email describing his real fear of abandonment. I simply responded that I understand and thanked him for sharing that with me.
I then went into NO CONTACT.
It’s been 2 days of no contact and I received an email asking if I’m doing ok? He hope I had a relaxing weekend, and that he’s always wishing good things for me.
Should I respond? Or continue with no contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 5, 2016 at 10:29 pm
Hi Marie,
just continue on with no contact.. you already made an effort to get him back and he refused. The last thing you want is to be stringed along or to be friends with benefits
Ann
October 3, 2016 at 9:16 am
Hi. I had been with my boyfriend for 4 years (minus 6 weeks that we broke up last year) during that 6 weeks I was very clingy and eventually tried NC and he contacted me again. During that time we had both worked on ourselves and our relationship was better and we had gone from depending on each other spending every day together, to really doing things for us. We had planned to move away together but then he told me he wanted to move away by himself and then we could move in together later once we had learned to be independent. This hurt me but I agreed and decided to move to France for 9 months while he’s still in the U.K. Before I left he drove me to the airport and once I was here he would text me all day and phone me and say he loved me/missed me. He also said he would try and visit as much as possible because flights are cheap and his course is only two days a week. Its also possible for me to go home for weekends and I get holidays so although I’m here for 9 months we could have still seen each other sometimes. A week after I was here he moved to a new city to live with his siblings. He has always been very close to them and loved to hang out with them and their friends. Well suddenly the contact from him became less and less and eventually he told me not to expect him to text me all the time and that he’s bad with phones. I really didn’t expect that but I still thought that we should at least talk once a day since we were now long distance is that unreasonable? After this he still didn’t speak to me much and had stopped talking about visiting and I messaged him saying this isn’t right. Then he said he can’t handle the distance after two weeks what’s it going to be like in a month. I feel like this is a lie because he was the one who didn’t want to live with me in the first place that’s why I moved here. I really think he just wanted to be single and experience different things. So all I said was good luck and I have been in NC ever since it’s now been 4 days. I’m guilty of doing everything for him throughout our relationship I think I could also be clingy sometimes. But I feel like this was a reaction to when he would ignore me for days which made me so mad. I miss him a lot but after last time I have learnt that NC is the best approach. I’m just worried he won’t reach out as he can be very stubborn. also feel that this is a case of GIGS. He has a history of depression and I can tell he thinks he is unhappy and maybe he’s broken up with me because he thinks that I am the problem. I have only ever tried to be the best girlfriend I would never hurt him but maybe that’s the problem he knew I would never leave him no matter how he treated me. He said he really wants to live for himself and that he still loves me but the distance is too much. Do you think I have a chance? I would also like to know how to approach social media right now, I feel like if I post how happy I am it just looks like I want him to see it so should I just not post anything for a while? Let him wonder what I’m up to? Thank you for your help, these guides have got me through some really tough situations and I’m sorry for rambling on I tried my best to keep it short x
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 5, 2016 at 10:00 pm
Hi Ann,
did you move for him or for yourself? if you moved for him, then it’s time to make it for yourself now.. if you moved for yourself, keep that in mind.. Decide what’s for your life not what’s best for him nor the relationship because it looks like you already lost yourself just to make him happy.. That’s not healthy anymore..Stick to 45 days of no contact. and if you decide to try again with him, dont invest everything when he’s not even doing the same.. let him work for you.. Take it slow but always put yourself first
Melody
October 2, 2016 at 10:49 pm
Hi,
Im in a really difficult situation, any advice would be extremely helpful and appreciated. Me and my boyfriend got into a heated fight recently and I said some pretty bad things to him to hurt his ego. I got angry and lost control of my mouth on the phone., when he got home later he took his dog and left, He didn’t come home. He didn’t text or call and neither did I. Two days later I finally reached out through text and apologized for my part in the argument. He texted me back saying he was sorry too but was moving out. You can tell by the way he was texting me that he was very angry. We had an appointment scheduled for couples counseling the next day. So I asked him if he was still going and he said no that our relationship is irreparable. He ended the conversation. I left him alone, he waited till I went to work and took all his stuff and left. I haven’t contacted him since and he hasn’t either. It’s been 5 days. I’m not going to contact him because this is the second time he has got up and left me and I’m hurt and upset. I know I don’t deserve this especially after I apologized and was still willing to go to counseling. The major problem that I have is that I’m 12 wks pregnant and he knows this. When I asked him about it the day he left he told me to do what I want about it that he has no control. He very well wants the baby because he begged me to keep it when we found out I was pregnant. He did tell me on the day he left that if I decide to keep it that he will be in the child’s life
Regardless. My question is do I keep the no contact rule in effect for 30 days even though I’m pregnant? I am keeping the baby and I’m preparing to do it myself without him but I would really like us to try again one more time for the baby’s sake. Our relationship is loving and good besides these bad fights we get into occasionally. I know he loves me very much, in fact he suggested that we get married before the baby was born and it was his idea to go to couples counseling. What I do know about him right now is that he is very angry, very hurt and he is a very stubborn man. I sometimes fearfully think this is the end and that he is not coming back this time. Please help 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 5, 2016 at 7:00 pm
Hi Melody,
I think you should still go to the couples counseling even if he doesn’t want to go. And with the no contact rule you can still do it, just be sure to only talk about the baby or the checkups. Let him cool off during the no contact rule, and when he’s cooling off heal and do things by yourself that makes you happy.