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1,382 thoughts on “The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule”

  1. Angie

    February 18, 2015 at 2:16 am

    Hello, so I’ve been in no contact for a month I finally text him a remember text and it went well we text back and forth. Then I ended the text conversation. When do I text him again? What time frame? How often should I text him?

    1. admin

      February 18, 2015 at 9:47 pm

      A few days you should text him again.

  2. Daniela

    February 17, 2015 at 8:48 am

    Hi Chris,

    Your sight has helped me so much and I bought the ebook a couple days ago. I have been in nc rule for about a week. My ex and I broke up over a huge blowout argument, he moved out and back out of state. The first week he messaged but I was angry he left. We saw each other and made plans to see each other and keep in contact, well then he started talking to someone else I found out and it started a big fight. I said things out of anger and he started ignoring me. Which made me become the text and call gnat like in your ebook, very emotional unattractive needy mess. So after I saw your site I issued non contact. Will this work even if he stopped talking to me first? Even if I was a gnat? Should I do s longer nc rule?

    1. admin

      February 17, 2015 at 1:08 pm

      Yup this will work even in that case.

    2. Daniela

      February 17, 2015 at 9:39 pm

      So he’s been all into this new girl, posting stuff all over Facebook with her and how they are in love 2 1/2 weeks after our breakup, has not contacted me, his cousin said he said he wanted to get back with me, but he was drunk. I don’t know if it’s serious or if he’s trying to make me jealous or hurt? After me being so needy and annoying him/ freaking him out and this new girl. I’m afraid to message. I have three weeks left but I don’t want to be ignored again. Just don’t know… What do you think?

  3. Alia

    February 17, 2015 at 4:28 am

    I havent talked to this guy in 3 months… Ive tried texting him…No reply. So then I decided to just stop since I wasn’t getting a response. I then discovered your website. I tried to NC its probably been 8 weeks…Still nothing… What should I do?

    1. admin

      February 17, 2015 at 12:51 pm

      How have you been contacting him?

    2. Alia

      February 17, 2015 at 6:36 pm

      We were together all the time, we would hangout nearly everyday for like 2/3 months… What happened was we had a argument and then yeah he just stopped answering.

  4. candy

    February 17, 2015 at 3:23 am

    hi. i’ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 3years. 2 days ago, we had a terrible fight and i can feel that he is totally mad at me as compared to few fights that we had before. he even threatened to change his number and cut off all sorts of contact with me if i keep on texting and calling him. i am completely at lost and i dont know what needs to be done cuz i really cant afford to lose him. we are yet to have and official break up even he said so, cuz things such as facebook status, our shared social social still remains as it usually be. what should i do to win him back? i wanted to apply the NC but he is the type of guy who prefer to be contacted frequently even when we had a fight. i am scared that he thinks i am no longer needed him in my life if i do the NC. please, help me..

    1. admin

      February 17, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      Have you read my stuff on long distance?

  5. Sara

    February 17, 2015 at 3:16 am

    My boyfriend dumped me harsh, and got angry after I didn’t meet him while he picked up part of his stuff from my place.

    I implemented the NC since then, and haven’t replied to his email or txts, even he said he will pick up his stuff later and reassuring that the break up was the best for him.

    Do you think I should meet him while he picks his stuff or just let him take it whithout being there?

    1. admin

      February 17, 2015 at 12:48 pm

      Let him take it without being there if you can.

  6. shamika

    February 16, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    Hello,
    So I’m on day 22 of the no contat rule. I decided to do this on a guy I was dating for two months because he didn’t seem like he wanted a relationship and he was pulling away.

    I texted him saying that I was done trying with him and I broke it off with him. In my text I also said we are never to speak again. I haven’t heard a peep from him through the NC.

    It’s getting closer to the 30 days and I’m scared if I contact him he won’t respond. Was I too harsh?

  7. Ashanti

    February 15, 2015 at 6:18 pm

    So I’ve been the one mostly contacting my ex and I slowed down. My ex called me and we talk for hours. Later in the conversation I srated that I’m over him but I’m not. It’s been a month and half of no contact and I haven’t heard from him. What should I do? Is he over me? Did I ruin?

    1. admin

      February 16, 2015 at 11:45 pm

      No you haven’t ruined things.

  8. Emma

    February 15, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    Hey,
    I did NC before I saw this site! (Except for sending a few snapchats, which now I realise I shouldn’t have!) But it must have worked because I got a message asking to catch up. I said yes to meeting and he replied with a date already planned (he’ll pick me up and take me out.)
    I am not sure what he is going to say, either 1) it’s still over (although why would he plan a date just to say this?) 2) lets be friends or 3) I want you back.

    Any advice on what to do when the ex takes the initiative to plan a date after NC?

  9. P

    February 15, 2015 at 5:07 am

    I came from a toxic relationship with my ex but most of it were my fault. I had the habit on snooping on his stuff, making threats for him to stay with me (like killing myself), I made problems that were not even supposed to be problems, i told him i dont care even when I really do care, i was a jealous type of girlfriend. He said when we broke up the first time he felt free. He only comes back to me cause he gets swayed by my crying… He told me he was emotionally stressed with what’s going on and he wants me to grow on my own as a person. He told me he loves me but less because of my attitude. Im not even sure if I still have a chance with him cause he’s afraid of me.. he’s afraid that if he comes back history would repeat itself. I am sure that it wont because I changed my views already. I was so insecure. Do you think I still have a chance?

    1. admin

      February 16, 2015 at 11:33 pm

      Yes, that is very toxic…

      And a bit controlling.

      These are things you are going to have to overcome down the road if you want him back.

    2. Lulubelala

      March 13, 2015 at 1:55 pm

      I just recently found out from a friend of ours that he really misses me and he really wants to talk to me, but he won’t because he thinks we’re not good for each other. The friend of ours told me he was really sad. I miss him too and I love him still. What do I have to do?

  10. Laura

    February 13, 2015 at 10:50 am

    Hi Chris,

    I’ll make this brief as possible! Broke up with ex before Xmas and 6 months prior to that. (Got back together as he begged for another chance). He broke his promises to change so I left. This time he’s completely ignored me, I’m actually doing really well in myself but I do still have feelings for him (we were together 4 years). I knew he was planning on asking me to marry him but that would have been wrong since we were both unhappy.

    Since this break up he has been lying to his friends and on facebook saying I bullied, neglected and mentally kicked him about. It’s clearly out of anger for the fact that he failed. I know he still loves me and is hurting bad, hence all the anger.

    Anyways, my question is, would he ever change? If he loved me that much could he? If he did come back after NC, how do I believe that he would change? And after all the crap he’s said about me. If he can’t change then I won’t take him back, simple as that. But I don’t want my heart broken again. I’m in a good place right now, I don’t want to risk losing it all again.

    Thank you 🙂

    1. admin

      February 16, 2015 at 10:39 pm

      Its possible for him to change BUT change is one of the hardest things for people to do.

  11. Drea

    February 13, 2015 at 9:04 am

    Hey! Just discovered this website and its awesome. My ex and I broke up last week. Tried to do the whole friends thing….failed miserably. We recently got into an argument. He said something so mean to me, I told him he hurt my feelings. He did a half ass apology, but said he’s not taking back what he said. So I told him he’s exhausting me and thats no way to treat someone who loves you.

    He’s going through hard times but I don’t think that excuses his poor behavior for the last couple of weeks.

    I think I left a bad “after-taste” but I’m still initiating NC. I blocked him on my phone. Since were already broken up do you think hell come back?

    1. admin

      February 16, 2015 at 10:38 pm

      Glad you like the site.
      Definitely do NC. Lets get a good after taste going.

  12. Jacqui

    February 11, 2015 at 12:25 am

    Hi Chris. I dumped my ex a few months ago. He keeps contacting me, telling me he misses me and asking if we can start over. If I don’t respond right away he’ll ask me if I know any hot girls to set him up with. Or he’ll talk about how girls that are –random exotic ethnicity–are so hot. Is he trying to make me jealous…do guys even do that? Or does he really want me to set him up? I am confused.

    1. admin

      February 11, 2015 at 2:05 pm

      Seriously… He is totally trying to make you jealous and trust me guys definitely do, do that.

  13. samantha

    February 10, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    My ex boyfriend decided to do the no contact rule with me after deciding he couldn’t do anything serious. He said we would talk in a few weeks to go through everything and I haven’t heard and it’s nearly 5 weeks. I have not contacted him, should I get in touch?

    1. admin

      February 11, 2015 at 1:38 pm

      I would send a first contact text message out.

  14. Val

    February 9, 2015 at 10:16 pm

    Hey Chris!

    I finished the nc successfully last week. He never contacted me during nc, but he replied really positive to my first text. What’s been bothering me though is this. He responded as if the nc had never happened. Like he had just heard of me the day before. Is this a normal response?
    I’m having a harder time now, than during nc. Really extreme emotional ups and downs. I’m hovering between ‘Oh this will work suberbly!’ to ‘He’s never thinking about me, he probably doesn’t want to see me ever again’. Do you have any experience with that?

    Thanks so much!

    Valerie

    1. admin

      February 10, 2015 at 3:50 pm

      That is common.

      My money is on the fact that he is thinking about you.

  15. Lors

    February 8, 2015 at 11:40 am

    Been in nc for two weeks and he contacted me one week ago. A family member saw him and told him that I was purposely in nc! I have another two weeks of nc to go but now I’m afraid he won’t contact me again as the family member told him not to bother..(?!?) help please! Thanks

    1. Val

      February 10, 2015 at 8:47 am

      I think you are forgetting the part of nc that gives you space and time to put things in perspective. Complete the nc and figure out what you want. Nc is not entirely about him! It’s about you too!!
      So what he knows you’re doing nc! He’ll still be asking himself questions, like: Why is she doing this?

    2. admin

      February 10, 2015 at 4:16 pm

      It does that too hahaha.

  16. Serina

    February 6, 2015 at 4:18 am

    So I have been doing the No contact rule for almost a week now and my ex messaged me saying “it’s cute when you pretend to be a boy”. I don’t know what that even means but it clearly shows he’s bothered by something and wants my reaction but it was on Fb messages so I looked at it and didn’t reply. But I’m just wondering what that even meant..

    1. admin

      February 6, 2015 at 2:29 pm

      It almost sounds like some sort of weird song…

      Maybe he is trying to get your attention by shotgunning nonsense?

  17. metallic.girl

    February 5, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    What if my ex doesn’t reply after a successful NC. I mean I messaged him.no response. I called him . Not answering.he sees my texts and doesn’t reply. What do I do? How do I get him to talk to me?

  18. Chloe

    February 5, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Dear Chris
    First of all thank you so much for this website, it helps me so much to deal with this mess that I am in… 🙂
    I only have 2 practical questions.
    I am using the NCR.
    It’s only been 5 days, but with your help I feel strobg enough to continue.
    Question 1: this weekend there will be a little gathering, where I’m sure I’m gonna see my ex. I could make up an excuse not to go, but I’m afraid it would be too obvious, since I never missed a party like this before, and he knows that.
    Should I go or not?
    Question 2: me and my ex used to have a secret FB account, only for us. I was his only friend on there, and he was the only friend I added as well.
    After the break up he deactivated his account. I haven’t.
    But due to a thing he doesn’t know (it has to do with “poking”, bit long to explain), I found out that from time to time (every 2-3days) he reactivates his account, then suspends it again. Everytime he does, I get a notification. I don’t know if he’s bored, or just wants to see whether I was still active, or wants to write… This would be good to know as well, but the more important question is: if I sign in, and he reactivates his account, even if he only does it for a minute, he will see that I was there and when. And he will know for sure that I was there because of him, since as I said, that FB account was exclusively for him.
    Would this count as breaking the NCR from my side?
    Thank you in advance for your advice.
    Love
    Chloe

    1. metallic.girl

      February 12, 2015 at 8:02 am

      It would have been nice if u would have asked ur question in a separate comment and not hijack my comment like that. My comment got neglected because of ur stupidity. And one thing I would like to ask the admin …. Chris do u have a problem helping me out? I left so many comments and facebook msgs for u but u never replied.

    2. admin

      February 5, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      1- I would go but I would stay away from him.

      2- Haha he seems to be checking up on you. I wouldn’t sign in, in that case.

    3. Chloe

      February 5, 2015 at 3:58 pm

      Thank you so much, you confirmed what I was thinking to do 🙂
      I will be titanium 😀
      Xxx

    4. admin

      February 6, 2015 at 1:54 pm

      Good!!!!

  19. Annie

    February 5, 2015 at 9:15 am

    Hey I recently had a break up and was about to do the No Contact Rule but I read this; “..Well, if our relationship was absolutely horrible and riddled with fights, disagreements, jealousy, trust issues and drama 24/7 there is a pretty good chance that my feelings are going to be lost.”

    This is basically why he broke up with me but we are still friends right now.. We don’t talk about what happened in the past but we are open to each other about it.. Do you think things will still work out?

    1. admin

      February 5, 2015 at 3:51 pm

      Its probably coming from a place of anger.

      If you are still friends then he clearly hasn’t been angered enough to cut you out completely.

      NC is still a good idea.

  20. Serina

    February 4, 2015 at 2:22 am

    Hey Chris,

    Me and my ex had been dating for over 2 months now and everything was going extremely well for the most part. We never fought or anything and we solved our problems very easily. He even began making plans for the future and told his friends that he wanted to be with me even in the future. Then suddenly he started to see me less and said that he wanted his “space” and he broke up but then ended up coming back saying that I can’t imagine you being with someone else and I took him back. Then the next day he saw me and kissed me a lot and said he won’t do it again and then the whole day he ignored me and didn’t text me or anything so I got upset and broke up and he said fine we’re done. Then he blocked me from everything but I wanted closure so I asked and he said he’s tired of me and unhappy and doesn’t want a relationship. So I don’t know what happened so suddenly. Within 2 days he changed? Now I see him but I completely ignore him and he seems a bit affected but he’s trying to ignore me completely as well. I don’t know what to do

    1. admin

      February 4, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      Well, someone is going to give in.

      Of course, I always recommend that women reach out first after NC. Too much is made about who contacts who first after NC.

    2. Serina

      February 5, 2015 at 1:46 am

      I feel like his ego will boost up again if I message him first. He has been trying to make me jealous too . For example, he purposely walked by one of my classes with one of the girls I hate and he knew this. I want him to come after me because I’m tired of me going after him. I want him to chase. But I don’t know if he’ll contact me

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