How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Fall In Love With You Again- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

744 thoughts on “The Definitive Guide To Making Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again”

Sky

June 18, 2015 at 4:19 am

I was reading this and it all makes perfect sense and its actually things I normally do. Long story short here. We live together, we had the talk tonight (we both saw coming). He says he loves me, but is not in love with me anymore. Note: He suffers from severe anxiety and depression, with some attached disorders (which he has been doing incredible with over the last two years and has gotten professional help and no meds needed) that can cause emotional confusion. The lack of intimacy has been going on about a year since he started grad school. We associated it with that. In a nutshell, when one stressor ended for us, another 2 or 3 began, so we don’t know if we are growing apart or he really is not in love. He was in tears thinking of us not being together though. My question to you is, how can I implement this to this situation. We live together right now, but I think he is going to stay with his parents for a while.
queen

May 26, 2015 at 10:56 pm

my ex knew am a virgin,we agrd dat no sex,he deceivd me dat d tip wasnt sex,i ws naive n ignorant i fell,i still am a virgin,bt rememberin hw he deceivd me wen i resrchd,dats wen d prblm began,we argued,hs frns wer mean,he left me a yr,cut me off,i luv hm
Broken

May 22, 2015 at 6:42 pm

Hello I know this thread is a bit old. However I have dated a guy for four years I flirted with someone no contact other than through texts with the guy. He(my ex) believes I had intent to go further. Which I did not. We work together and have a child together. I know most people say this is not real but I feel as thought I was truly in love with him. i want to get back together with him. I know he still has some feelings for me we kissed today multiple times. We kiss sometimes and hug. But I am always afraid to try anything further. What would be my next step? Should I even bother to try?

Chris Seiter

June 1, 2015 at 10:02 pm

I am literally writing an article about this right now.

Seriously!

Sparkles

May 8, 2015 at 10:32 am

We still share a house! We broke up at my request 8mths ago. I had a lot of stuff to get out of my head. Im in a really great place now and over the last 8mths I have changed my attitude. He has no need to take me back as I still do all the same stuff I used to while we were together (only difference is the intimate stuff)
He has said he will be moving out in 3-6mths. (We own a business together)
I have thought long and hard about it and I am very ready to rebuild. 2mths ago he said he was over our break up when I wanted to talk to him about clearing the air.
Any suggestions?
Ashley

April 26, 2015 at 3:13 pm

Hey Chris,
My ex boyfriend and I were together for 2 and a half years. The whole time I nagged at him constantly and wasn’t really supportive of everything he did. He was always 5 minutes late to everything and if always complain about it and instead of letting it go he’d hear about it for days. He always said how unhealthy it was that I was always nagging him and that he couldn’t take it much longer. I didn’t believe him though and eventually he had his breaking point. He put his dirty feet on and I asked him not to and he did it again. Before I had a chance to think anything through I spit on his foot and that was the end. He said he never wants to see me again and that he deserves better than me. I know it wasn’t just the spitting on the foot, that was just the breaking point. It’s been 2 weeks, I haven’t called him or texted him. I blocked him on fb because I knew he’d block me if I didn’t. He switched all his things to single and he friends are congratulating him. He is in a 12 step program and my concern is that it isn’t possible to undo all the negative bitching I did because he has this program that etches him how to have healthy meaningful relationships. Is it possible for me to attract him again? What do I do? Thanks, Ashley
Elizabeth

April 24, 2015 at 4:26 pm

Hey chris,

I have been dating a guy for a year exactly. From the start, he was set on the fact he was going to marry me, head over heels for me, and couldn’t see himself with anyone else. I will say that he is almost more sensitive but also more mature than I am. He is older and at first I wasn’t ready or capable to decide if he was actually the “one” for me as well. As time passed, I realized that I do see potential for the future. He might be the love of my life. However, the reason we would break up and get back together was because I needed to change a few things about myself including immaturity and I agree with him.
I am worried that when I do take the time to change myself for the better, that it will be too late and he will move on. I have a gut feeling that he is looking to, although he said that I was the only girl for him.

Any advice or nerve calming words? I want to make him happy, I know I can but I am scared that I might lose him before I am able to. I am taking your advice for the no contact.. its the best way to handle the situation at the moment considering desperation is not attractive in anyone’s eyes.

Jan

April 27, 2015 at 3:15 am

Chris! I’ve sent you multiple messages on your google+ hangout. I really need some advice! I will seriously buy your book if you can help me out soon.

But a brief synopsis: been with this guy (age 23) for almost a year. He broke up with me after a stupid fight. NC was applied for a month. Still no results. And just recently i realized that i should’ve picked and choose my battles with him- which is the reason we broke up. I’ve read all your articles, but can’t find one that best resembles my situation (we go to grad school together but he avoids me so the NC is really easy).

thanks.

Anna

April 20, 2015 at 3:18 am

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend and I are in the military. We went through 1 deployment to Afghanistan together, and he was the best thing that I had over there. Our relationship was absolutely amazing and romantic. After we got back, we wanted to get married because he was going to be stationed in Germany so he could take me with him. Right before starting planning the wedding, he pulled off. He said that he was not ready to marry me, but he wants to be with me. Then we argued a lot about it, and we broke up because he supposed to leave in 1 month. I did not call him for 2 month. Then he sent me a text “I miss you”, and we started talking again.
Then we found out that the plan is changing, and he is staying in the US, and he asked me to date him again.

I took my time to answer, and then after 2 months a agreed to date him again.

Everything is amazing even though we are in long distance relationship. We have been together for 1,5 year, and we see each other 1/month.
I am deploying to Afghanistan again, and after that I am moving to his city, but he does not want to move in together yet. “Not ready” again ((
Everything is great, but I feel like he is not in love with me like he used to be.

How do I get him to feel that way towards me again? Our break up changed everything (
Rachel

April 19, 2015 at 11:09 am

Please Chris , help me . I have been with this guy almost 6 months , everything was great , except that my parents didn’t agree with our relationship but he seemed to not care at all. He broke up with me saying he doesn’t love me anymore . After begging and pleading I went into 21 days nc and it worked , he wrote me several times. Now , before I could text him first he said something like ‘ we need to talk ‘ and starting with this idea that we will never get back togheter , so I shouldn’t wait for him , it’s a waste of time but we could still be friends . I told him that’s okay cuz I didn’t know what to do and now we’re having a usual conversation . I know he doesn’t love me anymore , he even told some friends that I should move on , that he is done with me and so on . Despite of this I also know that what we had was true, he truly loved me , but I had a miserable behaviour and I lost his trust so it might be fair to not feel the same anymore… He’s the love of my life , I’m 20 and I wanted to marry him down the road , he wanted to spend our lives togheter too , so it was pretty serious but.. I don’t know what happened . I don’t want to lose faith , what should I do from now on ? He will leave the town this year , distance scares the heck out of me . Has he really moved on ? How to make him love me again ? Do I have a chance to get him back ? I know you can’t really tell me the answer of this questions , but at least , what should I do…I will really appreciate if you would answer me .
Petagay

April 18, 2015 at 3:46 pm

Hi Chris
I am a jamician seeking your help my boyfriend broke up with me because he had a next girlfriend and didn’t want to hurt me(that’s what he said)anyways the thing is I can’t live with out him we have being dating from alomost three years and we share great moments and I really love him he seems not to care anymore but I can’t take it I need your help to get him back please

Chris Seiter

April 20, 2015 at 9:02 pm

Jamician!

AWESOME.

You do seem a little desperate to get him back. You have to not act that way anymore.

Layla

April 13, 2015 at 1:56 am

Hi Chris,
After 14 months of dating, my boyfriend broke up with me kind of suddenly. The first 6 months or so were wonderful and I felt great about myself. Some changes in his work schedule and my work related stress started causing small fights in the latter half of the relationship, at least one per month. He would have to step back from me for a day to cool off, and then he would reassure me that he was happy in the relationship and wasn’t going anywhere. Then he did it. It happened in two stages: first, he unleashed a list of complaints about our relationship but acknowledged that he cares about me and enjoyed much of the time we spent together, then left town for a few days and did not contact me. Then, I contacted him because I wasn’t even sure we had broken up, so I wanted him to come over to clarify that, see if he would reconsider, and pack up all of his stuff to get it out of my house. In the second conversation, he reiterated a lot of what he said the first time and added in some more points: he and I seem to want different things in terms of commitment, he felt that we weren’t having enough sex (although I had to point out that if he’s not available to come over, then we don’t have many opportunities for sex), he had become bored, he was tired of our stupid fights (which he perceived were concoctions from my imagination), and we are good companions to one another as long as we’re not in a group of his friends or my friends. I had been really analyzing the relationship during the week of uncertainty, so I mentioned that I wanted to have sex more frequently as I knew that was a problem, and that I wouldn’t mind lowering the time commitment for togetherness to be more in line with what he wants, as long as I got one good date night per week minimum. I had already figured out that this would be good for my work productivity, since I write from home. I don’t think he was prepared for me to be so logical about it, but we wound up having a 2-3 hour conversation about our relationship and about other things and we split a bottle of wine. He said that he intended to continue to be there for me and still cares for me and mentioned that he would like to continue having sex with me if that was a possibility. I kind of shut that idea down, but we made the decision to have sex right then, which I had not planned for. After, we packed up his stuff, and he gave me a big hug, kissed me on the cheek, and said to stay in touch. Overall, I think I maintained my composure very well (until I got very teary at the end). I began 30 NC right away, but I got thrown when he texted me just 5 days later – it looked like a booty call to me…he would be in my neighborhood and wanted to know what I was up to. I didn’t respond until the next day, because it just felt too rude to completely ignore it, so I waited 28 hours and wrote a very brief dry text that “I was out watching basketball.” I figured if I was going to break the rule, I might as well throw in a little indication that I’m doing just fine without him. Since then, I’ve continued NC, so I’m about halfway done. I’ve been working on myself, reading, writing my dissertation, meditating, attending psychotherapy, training for a 10K, dyed my hair, and lost 7 lbs. I’m also doing pretty well in the UG department, because I’m in good shape, I’m traditionally pretty, I went to an Ivy League school, and now I’m working on my PhD. If I’m feeling good next week, do you think it would be OK to text him on day 21 or so? I have concerns that he’ll get used to not having me around if I let it go much longer, and with the proximity of our homes and the weather getting warmer, the odds of me running into him are starting to increase, but so are the odds of him meeting a new girl. And my other question is: Let’s say I get him back – it’s clear that we can’t continue in the manner we were running the relationship before. How do I address that and when?
Thanks! Your site has given me a lot to think about, and if nothing else, I really surprised myself with the discipline I’ve displayed.

Chris Seiter

April 16, 2015 at 4:28 pm

21 days is a little short. I would prefer waiting the full 30 days but you can get away with 21 days if you really wanted.

Ramona

April 12, 2015 at 12:24 pm

Hi Chris! It has been more or less a month since he broke up with me. He has been telling other people that we’re through and we’re just friends, but you see, how he’s treating me is very complicated. When we are texting, there are those times that he’s telling me with his words ‘we are just friends’ but some other times he’s also saying that it’s still us. i dont know it’s very complicated and I don’t know what to do. Yes I need him back but he’s too complicated, I really don’t know what to do. 🙁
Cate

April 11, 2015 at 12:30 pm

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend and I had been dating for quite a few months, and we’re getting very serious with each other. While I have been in love before, I was his first ‘real’ love, first ‘real’ relationship. He told me he loved me about a month and a bit into our relationship. Two weeks before the break up, he was getting distant. While I tried to work out what was wrong, he kept quiet. Out of the blue, he breaks up with me, saying he doesn’t know if he loves me. He didn’t think it was fair on me to keep dating me while I love him, and he doesn’t. Plenty of tears and heartache that day. The next two days we talked about it; the breakup, love, everything. He said he’s not sure if he ever did love me, but do I sound crazy desperate in saying I tnk I could always ‘feel’ his love, in a way? We agreed to be friends, although we are toying with the idea of friends with benefits, which to be honest is an appealing idea, considering we both trust each other,and he still has strong feelings towards me. But I want him back. I want him to love me again, I want us to be together again. Do we go back to being just friends? Do I give him space? Friends with benefits? What should I do? I’m still in love with him..

Ramona

April 20, 2015 at 1:07 pm

Still waiting for a response

Michelle

April 6, 2015 at 4:21 pm

Hi Chris,

I’ve never done this before! I don’t think I have ever been so adamant and persistent in reconciling with an ex. I have been in a serious relationship before, 6 years from a young age til I was about 19, 20. That relationship was more of a friendship because we were so young, we just built such a great friendship over time. Since that break up, I met an amazing guy who I was in a relationship with for over 2 years after that. The most love I have ever felt, the intimacy was real, the future plans were promising, he is the most outgoing, fun person I have ever met. Everything about our relationship was amazing. I couldn’t have asked for more. My ex (of 6 years) ended up proving his jealousy (please keep in mind my ex and I were over for about 3 months and continuously on & off, and he also started his own new relationship, so I was under the impression we both have moved on), 3 months into my new relationship once he found out. He came to my new boyfriends house and almost started a physical fight.

After that situation, my boyfriend and I continued on our relationship, insecurities seemed to loom due to that situation. We ended up fighting over silly things. We moved out together a year after being together, argued a lot. I was very insecure and jealous because he was such an outgoing guy and I can honestly say my insecurities destroyed my relationship. We moved into his mom’s house to help her out after her divorce, left for Mexico a week later and came back and broke up.

We broke up over him being pushed away, not feeling in love anymore because of my insecurities and because he wants to become a better person again. He doesn’t feel like the person he was before, he use to love life more and with all the fighting, he got pushed away. He doesn’t just blame me, he has anger issues that have circled our relationship and he hates who he has become. We were broken up for 4 days, I moved all my stuff out to my aunts.. and I repeatedly texted him to give us a chance. He ended up saying to come back home, I moved all my stuff back in to only break up 3 days later because of insecurities I started to bring up again and he wasn’t feeling the love come back. We have been broken up now for 2 weeks, we have talked here and there. He wants to better himself, he has been hanging with friends, spending time at home, he has took a sick leave from work to deal with his anger issues, depression and anxiety and has registered for unemployment. He is going to see a therapist this week. I have been seeing a counselor for the past 3 weeks and feel better and more secure about myself and I truly feel I can be a better partner in a relationship with him. I seen him yesterday and wrote him a big letter and read it to him. He ended up saying he is not getting back together because he is not ready and has not seen a counselor yet. It hurs so much because I want to prove to him that I am this confident, independent person that can make his life happy again like we once were. I hated the person I was. I don’t know how to show him how to fall in love with me again when he just wants to be away from me. We had sex yesterday, I was persistent and it was the first time in a very long time where I felt like he wanted me. He said he felt those feelings again but did not want to make decisions on emotions. He wants time to go see his counselor and get some answers…

What do I do?

It is so difficult because we started a life together, we have 2 cats and all of the furniture we bought together is set up in the basement at his mom’s house and I miss it. I don’t feel like I am home anywhere I go. I know there is not another person in his life because we have something personal that we share and also, I know his honesty is one of his best qualities. I feel like he is being brainwashed by many people about our relationship and his feelings won’t break through for me due to that. He is not the type of guy just to have random sex with me either, in the ending months of our relationship our sex life wasn’t perfect because he didnt want to have random sex, he wanted it to mean something so he held back because he did not feel those feelings all the time.

I really want to make things work, I want to prove to myself that I am this changed person who can love life and live positive. I really would love to see how our relationship would turn out with the new outlook I have learned from counselling and being on my own. I know it has only been 2 weeks but it feels longer for me. He has asked me to let him go to counselling to figure his stuff out for now. How do I get him back Chris? I’m afraid he will move on and forget about me and I won’t have the opportunity to show him a happy and loving life together before he gives up completely.

He changed my whole life when we met. I know deep down he still feels for me but its blocked by all these different opinions and his mental state.

Please give me your opinion or suggestions. I want him for his personality and the person I know he is. I love being with him and I’m holding on to such little hope.

Michelle

April 6, 2015 at 9:18 pm

Do you think this relationship can be saved?
Michelle

April 8, 2015 at 10:43 am

Still waiting for a response!! 🙁

danielle

April 1, 2015 at 5:03 am

Hey chris I’m trying this out for the first time I realy hope it works of I do it correctly……..bt he is kinda the concrete person who doesn’t let me no wat he’s thinking so I don’t know if he still has feelings or just being nice

admin

April 2, 2015 at 11:37 pm

Don’t just rely on this article though. Read all the other ones too!

Danielle

March 31, 2015 at 3:04 am

My boyfriend broke up with me very suddenly 3 days ago, yet the night before he told me he couldn’t live without me and he loved me so much. The first day was hell, I tried to give him space but self control didn’t work out so well. 2nd day and 3rd day, I have played the NC Rule. Ever since, he has been the first one to text me, but it’s just about either my belongings that he still has, or our road trip (which we have decided to still go on together but as “friends”). Does anyone think he may be on the road to regret dumping me? Or he has no intention to come back and he’s just checking I’m okay? Despite the confusion, I feel that playing the NC rule does give you hope, that he has a chance of missing you, and wanting to come back.
Claire

March 29, 2015 at 6:20 pm

Hello Chris!
I think I used to be my ex’ ungettable girl. He used to be very attracted to me but I friendzoned him and ask him advise about another guy. This went on for 4 months. Eventually I developed feelings for him, he became my boyfriend but I ended the relationship because I found out he has other girlfriends. I kept asking him about all the other girls I kept finding out and he learned a ‘clingy and insecure’ side of me. So I broke up with him and told him we should just be friends again.I am afraid I still acted clingy and insecure and scary-ex-ish, even as a friend. I told him he should not contact me for a month because I need time.

Anyway he met a girl who is better/prettier than me in any way. And they had more things in common. I think she can’t choose between him and another guy and I think this made her an ungettable girl and I think she had more impact to him than me because he posted about her on facebook, he never did that.

Please help. Can I even compete with that? Is there a way I can get his attention back and be the ungettable girl instead? Or does it sounds like a lost cause?

admin

March 31, 2015 at 9:59 pm

I think you need to get back to the roots where you got him in the first place.

Re-become the UG.

Friendzone him again.

Stephanie

March 26, 2015 at 9:13 pm

Me and my boyfriend just broke up about 2 months ago, I am still really confused about why he really broke up with me, when we first met we were out of our minds in love and all we had was each other we moved in together and lived together for two years, last year I can admit that I was on an emotional roller coaster I had mood swings and even started fights with him that had no purpose to them , through out the relationship I was a little controlling, he moved out without saying much at first when he left he dropped a few years and said that he wasn’t ready to leave me but really needed his space to find himself, I called him constantly trying to figure out what was really wrong I texted him uncontrollably til the point where he blocked my number, he recently unfriended me on facebook and deleted every picture of us on his facebook he keeps saying that there is no one else but I’m sure there is, I cannot get him to talk to me or even really respond to any messages I went Nc for a week but got devastated after he didn’t even attempt to contact me, he recently contacted with the reason of still wanting to have sex, I fell for it. I know deep down he loves me but still wants to move on, I really love him like all women love their boyfriends, I want us to be able to work it out one day and sort out our differences, I would love to give the relationship another shot, i just don’t know how to do that if he doesn’t show any care about wanting to be together right now or even in the future. He also got an apartment and And I went over and he was there with another woman he closed the door in my face I think I scared him but since then we have been cordial but he hasn’t even asked for me to come over. I’m willing to take the time to get what we had back I just really need some advice on what to do in this situation
Sydney

March 23, 2015 at 2:36 am

Hi Chris. I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 and a half years. Things were great we were happy. We had our fights but always made it through everything no matter how bad. Well about 4 weeks ago we broke up because I have a problem that I am getting help with. Well I found out that his ex was coming over and apologizing for all the pain she has put him through for the past 3 years by keeping his daughter away from him. He told me about a week ago that she was trying to get back with him but he would never go back to her and that he still loves me. Well last night he told me that he is thinking about getting back together with her. I honestly don’t know if it is worth the haste and if I should move on or if I should fight for me because I do still love him so much.

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:36 pm

In the end its up toyou.

Perosnally I think its worth a shot if you really love him.

Chemzm

March 20, 2015 at 6:54 am

Hi Chris… my boyfriend and I broke up about 3weeks ago. we’ve been together for 8 yrs and 5months. we broke up because he falls out of love with me because of our misunderstanding every month. I miss him thats why I am trying to text him everyday and I got angry everytime he cant reply. he said he is not happy everytime we fight. He loves me so much but now he is not inlove with me. He is trying to comfort me and he said time will come that he will fall again. But I am so hurt evertytime he ignores my text or calls. What should I do to make him fall again? I love him and we have a lot of plans for the future.
Now I am trying not to communicate with him to make him realize my worth. Did I do the right thing?

Thanks in advance

admin

March 22, 2015 at 4:14 pm

Are you doing NC?

You may be coming off in a bad light if you are texting him or calling him too much.
Chemzm

March 24, 2015 at 7:21 am

Yes ive’d tried NC but it lasted for 3 days. I really missed him. What should I do next to make him fall in love with me?

Mona

March 17, 2015 at 9:56 pm

Hi Chris! I was in a relationship with a guy for two and a half years. For 1.5years, everything was a fairytale for both of us. But since the last one year, I’ve been under lot of pressure because of my career and friend circle. I’ve was so frustrated with everything but he never left my side. However,my issues got the better of me and I was very mean and cruel to him. In my anger I would say a lot of things I never meant. He started parting from me and because of my troubles I was not available for him emotionally. I regret everything coz I was not myself since the last few months. But I love him and he loves me too. But he says he’s too hurt and worn out to give me a chance coz he’s scared it’ll affect my career and scar us even more. He’s always been a very sensitive overthinker. But I want to make him fall for me again and remove all his fears. Please help me. I’ll be thankful all my life.

admin

March 18, 2015 at 9:15 pm

Have you implemented the no contact rule yet?
Mona

March 20, 2015 at 1:46 am

I’m afraid that might create distance between us. Besides, he really wants to be in contact. But he still doesn’t want to get back together like old times.

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744 thoughts on “The Definitive Guide To Making Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again”