How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Fall In Love With You Again- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

744 thoughts on “The Definitive Guide To Making Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again”

just another girl :)

January 23, 2015 at 2:06 pm

Hi Chris! Well I have a problem more complicated than only getting my ex back..actually the whole story from the beginning was everything but usual..so here’s a short version. we met this summer on vacation and we fell in love in only two days.the thing was that I was from a different country.so after he went home he instantly started texting me so it led to everyday waking up and going to sleep with his texts.in two weeks he booked a flight to come visit me for my birthday.we spent the most perfect 7days together.met my family and friends and all that.so we started making plans for new year(this was in octomber).After, I was suppose to go to work in another country but it didn’t turned out as planned.so he invited me to come stay with him and find a job there till we go on that vacation for new years, so we can save money.so I went there, it was alright met his gamily, found a job.but we had miscommunication..than his ex started texting and I had a beef about that.one night we went out and got so drunk thay I lost control over my self and one of his friends kissed me.by the time I realised what actually happened it was too late because he saw it..after that everything went to hell..he wanted me to go home but somehow everytime we ended up getting back together..but nothing was ever the same.so we decited to wait untill we go on that vacation..at the end it turned out I didn’t have enough money so I went home..he was bringing up the sentence I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore all the time I was there..after going home he still was texting me..he went to that holiday anyways..I was so hurt that I wrote him some mean stuff..he said he was trying to be nice because he cares for me but ok he don’t need the stress of me at the moment..so I texted him before two days and we started talking..better something than nothing..and he said we should meet but as friends with benefits and asked me don’t I agree that we didn’t work and it was a fact and that’s how he will always think about that…the thing is I’m too confused I love him with all my heart and tryed in all the ways to tell him how much I hate myself for my mistake..but I started choking him with my need for him which I’m aware of that now…so? 🙂 thank you
Annie

January 23, 2015 at 3:04 am

Hey….i really need your help with my ex who is with someone else.
We are in different countries and i dont know what to do and i need your help!

admin

January 23, 2015 at 4:28 pm

Well, lets start by talking about what you have done so far.

pranali

January 8, 2015 at 11:49 am

hi,
i m hving really complicated situation here.me and my bf were in relationship for almost 4 years.we hav gone through many ups and downs.i had 2 exes.from which 1 was for 10 months and other was for few days.i hav taken 1 of my past relationship to a high level physically.
and because of that my bf gets possessive about me talking with other guys.he starts fighting although we love each other a lot and are too much involved in each other.now he says he cannot tolerate my mistakes and want to break up.and i pleaded him a lot not to do so. how should i deal with this

admin

January 19, 2015 at 3:09 pm

Define a high level physically?

Court

November 20, 2014 at 4:40 pm

I am hoping you will see this and respond. My bf broke up with me almost a week ago now. He said we drifted apart. But looking back I think I might have over reacted about a few things and been a little jealous. Plus, we were actually having very limited contact due to schedules of only once a week.
Needless to say I melted down when he broke up with me and I know he felt bad. I told him to leave me alone but then he sent me something on insta-gram and I told him I was fine but then I flipped out again and told him I wasn’t and that I was so hurt and that I had heard he hadn’t cared about me for weeks but didn’t break up with me because my birthday was coming up. He finally sent me this “I can’t do this anymore. You have to let me go and move on. I cared about you for a long time. It just faded.” I sent back “Okay. I had just heard some things and should have known they weren’t from you. Good luck with your gig.”
We were friends before and he still wants to be friends now. We only went out for a month and 18 days so not that long but it was really good and showed promise before we both got so busy and I got needy.
If I am okay just being friends do I need to do the NC and all that? or is that only if I want him back?
Second, I think I could do the NC except we both frequent the same place most weekends and have all the same friends. So I am sure even if I am not texting, insta-ing, or calling him I will run into him in person sometime during the 30 days. How do I handle the NC rule for that? Especially since he will still be looking at me to be his friend and even when were friends we chatted and hugged hello and all that. I hope that makes sense and you can shed some possible insight. Maybe I should just cut my losses just stay the friend and carry on.

admin

November 24, 2014 at 3:49 pm

I see it!

Ok, then just modify the NC when you have to.

May I ask what made you jealous?

Marty

November 4, 2014 at 12:58 am

Hi Chris,

I am gay and I love a friend of mine. We were in a relationship which ended a couple of months ago. He was cheating on me and he says that he had no feelings for me and he was just playing. I know that he is partially true because he was intensely involved with me and remained like that over long distance (for full 7 months) before it was ended.

I did all the wrong things pleaded, cried and remained clingy. We fought few times already but we patched up. At this point, I am simply a friend. He has had tones of new dates and one with his old boyfriend. I don’t know where his relationships stand now but he told me he is no longer going to seek any sexual relationships but I doubt it. He says that to keep me from being sexual with him. He has on many occasions gave hints that he can never have relationship or sexual experience but he gives mixed signals. He also sees in his dreams that I have found a very handsome boyfriend which he becomes jealous of.

How should I proceed? No contact will not work as he will get pissed off. I am nobody for him now. Although he told me the other day that he remembered such and such time with me which put tears in his eyes. So he still has some feelings for me somewhere back there. He also is big on freedom and always mentions to leave him alone and not cage him in. I am giving him full freedom but has always shown that I was still chasing him. One day he told me himself that until you hate me, your luck will not change.

So I have taken the hint. I am slowly making myself unavailable for him and giving him more time by himself. It is really hard to do over long distance but texting is a good way.

I want to keep as friends but don’t want him to be too comfortable with the idea. At the same time, I am going to be working on showing him “that I don’t need him”.

Can you tell give me tips on how I should take it from here with him?

I do have plans to meet him in couple of months.

admin

November 20, 2014 at 2:59 pm

Hmm… you two were never offically dating? Just always friends?

Noname

October 30, 2014 at 2:16 am

Hi Chris!
Thanks in advance for answering! I went almost two months no contact! And slowly and very gently eased my way into talking to him again as he was pretty cautious in his responses. In fact, the first time we saw each other face to face after the break up, there was a friendly hug, then we hung out and talked for hours but he was still wearing his resignation on his sleeve. We both admitted we wanted to spend the night together because we’ve both been lonely but he said he didn’t think it was a good idea because it might lead to a habit/and or us getting back together and he says he doesn’t think a break up and getting back together is a healthy way to begin any relationship, which he’s never tried. It’s hard to argue with that. I made the wise choice of going home that night after a very very long hug initiated by him, no more than that and some flirting. I’m not quite sure where to go from here. We know we’ll be seeing each other at an event in a few weeks. I’ve definitely got my Ungettable Girl thing goin on 😉 with looks, personality, and popularity, but I could work on being less available. I think doing some serious friend zoning from here on out is probably necessary, but what next step would you suggest? Anything helps!!

admin

October 30, 2014 at 6:36 pm

Play a little hard to get.

I think go on a date and just focus on having fun. Do something new together. That is how a lot of people fall in love.
Noname

October 31, 2014 at 12:56 am

You mean on a date with him or someone else? He definitely wouldn’t go for that. He’s extremely stubborn and like I said he doesn’t believe in the possibilities of getting back together so I doubt a date would be possible with him right now. But I will keep that in mind for down the road. For now should I show him I’m interested in other guys?

Andrea

October 29, 2014 at 3:01 am

Hi, I’m in a slightly different scenario and I need a little help. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years almost 2 years ago for reasons I don’t really understand even now. We were a great couple, hardly fought, made each other feel safe, had a lot of fun, it was the most fun I’ve had in my whole life. Then we made a big move to a new city and life got harder for me, but easier for him, and I think I got scared of losing my identity, so I jumped ship. A month and a half later, we both started dating new people. After 7 months of putting up with my new guy’s douchery, and realising that I missed my ex and that the relationship could have been repaired if we put a little work into it, I broke up with the new guy. But the ex was still with the new girl, so I “moved on” and started to date another new guy – for a year. After the honeymoon phase ended, I realized that this new guy wasn’t really right for me, and I was still missing my ex, who had basically become my best friend at this point. During all of this, I put him in the friend zone, and I watched him chase me for a year and a half. And just as I realized that I was wasting my time with other men because the only one I wanted was my best friend, who I share an amazing chemistry with,that’s when he met a new girl. This new girl is very cute, meshes well with our friends, and treats him well, and now it seems as though he’s falling in love with her (if that’s possible after only 3 months… is it?”). I gathered up my courage and told him how I feel one night, and he said that he has an amazing thing with this new girl, and even if he didn’t, he doesn’t think it would be a good idea if we got back together. He’s not normally an emotional guy, but he struggled not to cry that night. I’d only seen that twice before, once at a funeral, and the other time when we broke up. I don’t know what to do. I want my best friend back. Sorry about the novel-length question :/

admin

October 29, 2014 at 3:56 pm

I suppose its possible… It depends on how well she is treating him.
Andrea

October 29, 2014 at 11:55 pm

I have no idea. All I know is we’ve been in this loop for almost 2 years. My last boyfriend was pretty good, and I was starting to fall in love with him, but then I realised that falling in love with him meant falling out of love with the ex in question, which, of course, is when I realized that I’m still in love with him. Falling in love with the new guy was so painful that I ended up putting a huge barrier between us and I couldn’t get any closer to him. So obviously I can’t and won’t date anyone till that goes away, but, I mean, I guess what I’m asking is, is there still hope. We were so good together. I don’t know what happened. One day my feelings shifted, and now they’re back as if no time has passed and I’ve realized what an idiot I was. Even after the break up he never stopped being there for me… till now.

malv

October 16, 2014 at 5:58 pm

hey chris
i have been in a realtionshop for 4 years and 3 months back we came in a long distance relationship…2 months back he broke up wd me saying he cant feel the same he used to and now says hes moved on..what shud i do?? anything u wrote will work now?
plz reply..m very heart broken and in pieces since 2 months

admin

October 27, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Did he give any more specific reasons?

isabel

September 17, 2014 at 9:32 pm

Hey chris I appreciate all your advice as I respect it more coming from a male point of view. Everything seems great and I’d love to follow it one problem. . I found out recently I am pregnant by my ex who both of us care for each other but of course I am here to get that “love” back. Not to brag but I am a very attractive girl have a fit body that even after pregnancy I know ill look great my mom is thin as well basically great genes but if course I love him so yeah..how do I play this in with me being pregnant? Should I wait after birth? What should I do? Please help me

admin

September 18, 2014 at 4:34 pm

I wrote an article for this exact situation…

nadine

September 16, 2014 at 4:19 pm

hi Chris ! 🙂 first and foremost I’d like to thank you for you’re advices because they’re really helpful .
so my story goes like this – my boyfriend and I had split around 3 and a half months ago ..it was an unofficial breakup .. we had a major lack of communication a week prior to our final day together.. we just stopped talking to one another ! in the first month to our breakup we had final exams and because of that we got distracted by them . Then the summer has arrived and I came across your site:) I applied the no contact rule for the wholl summer just to clear my head and let him clear his own .. Then I contacted him with ( in my opinion 😉 a sophisticated way telling him that it really bothered me how things turned ugly between us , that im sorry for the mistakes on my behalf , that I hope were ok and wish him all the best in the world . he soon replied and told me the same and he opened a conversation with me . since then we started talking and one of our conversations was so emotionally intense , that it seemed like we are the same as we used to be .. I opened up to him and he opened up to me and it felt so good and real . since we study medicine together abroad we agreed to meet each other there as soon as ill come back 🙂 but the problem is that I came back a couple of days after my first conversation with him so I felt we rushed the whole thing up u see , we where so eager to meet each other, but when we did , tension started to cripple in again and it didn’t feel like how it was suppose to be .. we weren’t emotionally reconnected yet . we were attracted to each other yes , but we didn’t have this emotion of true connection that we thought that we will have . we didn’t sleep together , but yes we kissed and yes we got a little bit intimate till a certain level .. I think we rushed this whole thing out because when he left , I didn’t feel the urge to contact him and I believe that so did he . the next day I initiated a conversation but it was very short and pointless . after that we didn’t talk for 1 day and when he contacted me we talked a little bit and then I said that nothing has seemed to change and what is the solution to all of that .. he said that everything is ok and since then we didn’t talk even once (2 weeks)! now, were both have an exam session so I don’t think well talk until we are done ..
chris .. im not desperate , I know I can live without him , I rebuilt my self and I feel happy. but hey – I feel he’s the one for me and I don’t want to let him go that easily .. what should I do? start the whole process of the exboyfriend recovery again ? im so confused !! hope youll answer me !

admin

September 17, 2014 at 4:10 pm

Ok, I think you need a bit of a paradigm shift.

In my experience if you adopt the mindset that you can’t live without him you won’t do well… You can live without him you just would prefer to have him in your life.
nadine

September 18, 2014 at 10:58 pm

oh but I know I can live without him .. the only thing that bothers me is our lack of communication-we never communicated freely with each other , so instead of telling one another what’s bothering us we just put it aside and hence resentment is built. we never fought over big things . its just that we need to rebuilt our communication and know how to talk openly with each other .. putting ego aside and letting ourselves be more vulnerable. we still care about each other though . what should I do ? start the ex recovery again ?

maria

September 3, 2014 at 10:17 am

Chris this is awesome!!! You did a great job! Omg. I actually started to read this to get my ex back but thanks to your articles i realized that i dont need him anymore and that he is a jerk. But also you showed me how to act and improve for my future relationship. However my dream is now to be an ungettable girl and have fun. But I really love your articles, and they were very helpful to get over my ex totally! thanks thanks thanks again!!!!!
Sammy

September 1, 2014 at 10:39 pm

My boyfriend and I lived together he left and I am pregnant. We had a really good relationship then thing changed suddenly after we moved in together. He says he just doesn’t love me anymore. I am pretty sure he is seeing someone else now. I’m torn because I know I should not want him back but I do badly, and we are having a child. We still talk but he won’t spend time with me or consider getting back together. I don’t want to have this baby alone, I can take care of the baby sure, but I want him. I want him to be a part of our child life not just a every other weekend father. What can I do? ,

admin

September 2, 2014 at 1:50 pm

I wrote something for pregnant women which I think is extremely relavant in your case.

Mariana

September 1, 2014 at 4:27 pm

Hi Chris,
I need some serious advice.
We live together, but it hasn’t been a relationship for awhile. We talk, laugh, but never kiss.. Almost no touching. It has been like this for month now. When I try to talk about us, he says it’s over that there can’t be any future for us anymore. I treated him really bad for the past 2 years and now that I finally changed, he gave up. I don’t know what to do anymore. I hate the thought of losing him, but he’s really set on the idea that it’s over. And he’s a tough guy to change his mind.. But he doesn’t seem to want me to move out, which is making me go ever crazier.. What should I do??

admin

September 2, 2014 at 1:28 pm

In other words, its like you are just roommates?

Mariana

September 1, 2014 at 12:33 pm

Hey, I need some advice!
I moved in with my boyfriend 4 months ago and since then, we’ve been fighting a lot. I have many issues that have been impossible to change, and now that I’m changing, he wants to break up. He gave me one last chance, 2 weeks to change, but I feel like he doesn’t even want me to change. He just wants me to go. He always treated me like a princess and I never valued that. Not that I wanted to be the “mean girlfriend”, it happened naturally. He never talked about other girls, always respected me, and all I did was step on him. Nowadays it’s the opposite, he spends all day talking about other girls, especially when his friends are over. He treats me bad, doesn’t look at me the same way. I feel like giving up but I believe that he still loves me, that this is his way of torturing me after years of me torturing him. I don’t know what to do anymore.

admin

September 2, 2014 at 1:18 pm

What kind of issues were causing the fights?

jasmine

August 7, 2014 at 3:09 am

My boyfriend and I have been going through some rough times. We were making it work and he’s always been faithful. Till the other day. He said he would be over at si. To see me and when he wasn’t here I called. He answered the phone and didn’t realize it. I could hear him and a girl going to dinner. Listened for 25 min before he realized and shut his phone off. About an hour later he answered said he was with a friend and they just went to eat and was going to come see be but because I was acting crazy he wouldn’t. The next day he said he wasn’t going to see her again and came over for a while. Later that night I accidentally sent him a text meant for someone else and he got upset. Then he said he wants to move on and get serious with this other girl. Now from what I heard he just met her. Now we have talked a lot everyday since and he sent me a couple songs that inplied he still wants us to work but will say he doesn’t. This is a serious relationship and we have a child together. He has never cheated before. What do I do to make him want to stay with me. And do you think he is just playing games to get to me?

admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:16 am

He sounds like a jerk to play around with your emotions like that.

(I bet that other girl doesn’t even know about you…)

Lexa

August 6, 2014 at 7:39 pm

We had lunch with his bother and walked around and held hands and did all of that boyfriend girlfriend stuff this weekend. I was priming him to talk about reconciliation but he shot me down. He leaves this thursday for another 3 Weeks. Im trying to break out of the APT lease before hand but It may not happen for a few more months. Should I implement no contact this time around when he is away???? I told him I would because it would be easier for me to get over it. What advice do you have for couples that live together? Its tricky to make someone miss you when your there. Also he has been hitting up old girlfriends and crushes it seems he can’t be alone, so maybe thats why he keeps acting like my boyfriend??

admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:02 am

You should implement LC right now and NC when he is away.
Lexa

August 7, 2014 at 6:40 am

what about cuddling?

Lena

August 4, 2014 at 6:25 pm

Hi chris! My Ex and i live together. He broke up with me before he left for a month long trip. We remain in minimal contact while he was on his trip. Now he is back from his trip and behaves like nothing ever happened. He still flirts and touchy feely like before. We had a huge blow out the first weekend since his return but have seemed to work through that. This past weekend we had dinner and partied together and it was fun. We had lunch with his bother and walked around and held hands and did all of that boyfriend girlfriend stuff this weekend. I was priming him to talk about reconciliation but he shot me down. He leaves this thursday for another 3 Weeks. Im trying to break out of the APT lease before hand but It may not happen for a few more months. Should I implement no contact this time around when he is away?? I told him I would because it would be easier for me to get over it. What advice do you have for couples that live together? Its tricky to make someone miss you when your there

admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Don’t do anything physical with him, kissing, etc, etc until he commits ok.

Carla

July 23, 2014 at 2:57 am

So me and my bf of 3 years broke up about 3 weeks ago.. we still somewhat see each other and text but when we see each other it always end up to having sex,we have talked about a possible future between us and he says right now he wants his space he doesn’t really know what he wants.. he texts me and calls me but nit every night.. this is very helpful advice but i just don’t know from where to start in my situation…help

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:49 pm

Are either of you dating anyone right now?

Aquarius

July 15, 2014 at 2:12 am

Hi,
I was in a relationship for just under 4yrs, and we had started looking at engagement rings…fast forward 6weeks, we had split up. I was angry as he had gone to uni and we barely talked etc. A wk later after his half brother passed away, that was it he wanted nothing to do with me. After a couple of months he told me he was engaged to somebody else…this girl was fron his previous uni 100s of miles away and he had cheated on me with her.

We didnt speak till my birtgday and anniversary a couple of months later (i instigated this…he had text me before to see how i was but said he didnt want to be with me so i asked him to leave me alone ). This led to a couple of months of us hooking up and me getting him out of a few rough patches. However he said he was in love with this other girl and did not want to be with me. I tried NC for two months…still nothing except him telling me to move on and delete everything of me and him if it makes it easier. That he loved spending time with me but he was happy with his choice. I love this guy and thought we would get married and I still want that. Is there any hope for us…or should i really try to move on as its a lost cause. ( one of the reasons he likes this new girl is because they dont argue…shes stopped talking to her guy mates and deactivated fb…whereas i would argue against this, do as I please as well as sometimes causing arguments for no reason…im willing to do all this now especially stopping arguments from me for no reason as I know where I went wrong…but please I really need help.
Laura

June 23, 2014 at 6:54 pm

Hey,

My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago and he claims it’s because he doesn’t feel as strongly as he once did. I know what I did to push him away, but we’re in a long distance relationship and I’m having a hard time figuring out how to go about winning him back. I’m afraid if I just ease off, time will pass and he will get over me as opposed to falling for me again. How do I go about this ?

admin

June 24, 2014 at 6:39 pm

How long were you in the LDR?

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744 thoughts on “The Definitive Guide To Making Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again”