How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,237 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

Sue

February 15, 2018 at 8:39 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me last week, we had a LDR for about half a year. He broke up very soon after we had a perfect holiday together. It was because I got jealous again just because he told me he wanted to see his friends the next day. I somehow always reacted like that and I know now that it was wrong. I made him feel bad with this too, not only myself and then that day it was one time too much and the next day he said he can’t accept that anymore. He just wants to see his friends and doesn’t want to feel bad every time he sees them just because I get mad about it.
I begged him and cried to him on the phone that he gives me another chance to make it better and we can stay together. But he said he gave me enough chances already and he is sick of always having arguments when he just wants to see his friends. He also said he has no more romantic feelings for me and he can’t change anything about this it’s over and I should move on.
But I know he’s the right man and I definitely want a future with him because we have lots of things in common and always got on well especially those times when we were together on holiday that was perfect.
I really want him back and it’s very hard to accept it’s over for now. We also chatted again the last days and it was fine but today I said something wrong again, that was too clear I want him back and now he said no contact for at least 2 weeks.
I know it was a mistake to chat too much already, at one point I would say some relationship stuff and he would retreat. This time I will keep quiet though and not have any contact until he writes again. He wants to be friends and I want too but still would want to have a new friendship develop into a relationship.
Is there any chance we can be together again even though he says he doesn’t have any feelings for me anymore and that he doesn’t want a LDR again? Can he get his feelings back slowly through a great friendship like it was first time we got together? That with the LDR could be solved because I wouldn’t mind to move to his country. But after all his reactions I’m too afraid to actually ever ask him for a relationship again because I’m sure he would say no he has no feelings anymore. I’m not even sure if I should ask at one point to meet up again if I’m somewhere close to him because right now he wouldn’t want to.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 1:12 am

Hi Sue,

if you’re doing nc, that means you’re not going to reply if he initiates.

Cheryl

February 14, 2018 at 9:28 am

I met my former boyfriend ( can’t bring myself to say ex yet) when he was studying in my country. He is from another country. We spent the year together and fell very much in love with each other. He finished his studies the same year and went back to his home country but we wanted to make it work so we chatted everyday via text ( unfortunately his country had blocked all major video call services). I knew he had to come back eventually to collect his degree etc. which he did about 9 months later. DUring his time back, I had just left my job and was managing 3 part time jobs, and was stressed out often and I felt his last visit was more tumultuous than a great trip. With that I might have planted some doubt in him already. After he left, we had a discussion 3 weeks later about my fears about being with him, and he assured me that it was fine and that he was with me 100% but I wasn’t convinced and pushed on and he took a 3 day break before calling it off, after calling him and making sense with him ,we patched things up a week later, and everything was fine after that.
Fast forward to the new year, we kicked it off well, Isent him a voice message citing how much I loved him and hoped the year was better and he agreed. However 2 days later his behaviour changed, and he became quiet. After pressing on he asked for some space, without any context. I naturally got anxious and he asked again for space saying he was feeling down and need to think of how to improve his “life and career”. I left him alone for a week other than the occasional good night and good morning I love you msgs. Till eventually I couldn’t take it anymore ( a week later) and started pushing him for a response and whether he wanted the relationship, as he was clearly ghosting me. Then he decided that “he didnt see a future”, ” It’s not you it’s me”, “he wants to work on himself and career and care for those around him”, ” And that he wants to stay single for a year or two”…
I didn’t know what else to say to make him stay, maybe I should have reasoned with him again… but for some reason, I sent him my best and let him go, maybe I was tired from the waiting.
I tried having a convo with him a few days later but he answered coyly. and on social media he was posting pics and videos of his time with a friend who was visiting him from overseas. It was too much for me to take so I deactivated my acct and went incognito. After 2 weeks I reactivated and within 15 min he blocks me on instagram. Yet still follows me on facebook and whatsapp and our secret instagram page. I tried inititiating contact after 21 days but he never replied. Prior to that on the 3rd day of the break up I sent him a semi- “goodbye but we will find our way back to each other” audio. With no response.
2 weeks after being deactivated, my friend writes to him just to have a general convo, and he mentions that life is good, he has a career, and his happy with his hobbies and He is not seeing a girl. The thought of that crushed me as we had only broken up for a month. and I spiralled into anger ( my friends and I believed he had been cheating on me). Now that I have a little clarity ( 1 week later) … I still feel that there’s something worth fighting for, something in me (albeti unrealistic) feels like it’s too soon to be done… but I dont know where to start .

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2018 at 2:07 pm

Hi Cheryl,

You can still try the advice above if you want to..

Sarah

February 13, 2018 at 12:45 am

My boyfriend broke up with me two days ago before embarking on a one way ticket trip overseas, probably returning within the year. He wanted to ‘pause’ the relationship and see how things are when he returns but I really want to be able to go over and see him in a few months. How can I get him to consider a LDR or even just resuming a relationship while I visit and hopefully continue once I leave? I’m doing no contact atm because I need him to reach out to me and know that he wants to talk. Thanks!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2018 at 7:52 pm

Hi Sarah,

That means it’s not nc and you’re just giving him space, that’s ok but you have to set a limit on until when you would wait

Sarah

February 10, 2018 at 1:27 am

My ex just left earlier this morning bound to Malaysia because of work. We broke up back on December 24 because he got fed up of my attitude. January 30, he suddenly called me and agreed to meet up. We talked for hours, asked one another what went wring and ended up having sex. After that we started talking again (very minimal though). He said I shouldn’t set my expectations high anymore but he’s not closing his doors. What does that mean? He said he doesn’t have any plans of entering a new relationship especially looking for another girl, he wants me to change my attitude and ways and be happy.

What should I do. We’d been together for 4 years and 2 mos and we even had plans of getting married.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 12:41 pm

HI Sarah,

That means there’s chance but it can also mean he wants to friendzone you or be fwb with you.. if he’s staying long in Malaysia, follow the advice above.

Mary

January 24, 2018 at 11:18 am

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days ago and I’m lost without him.
we met abroad during an exchange and we don’t come from the same country. So when the exchange was over I decided to move to his country where he was finishing his study. I didn’t really know anybody there nor the language which made it a real challenge ( but I thought a real proof of my love).
He is a very social man, has always been, I on the other have had troubles in the past making friends. But I wanted to make it work, to make the efforts, and I started really believing in a future with him, started making plans and projects with him I never thought of ( children, work…). We lived for months together there (10 in total)

He broke up with me first: he said that it was because he felt like we didn’t have a future together, that it felt impossible that i learned the language ( which i was doing), that I was asking for too much of his time, that he didn’t feel like he could do all the things he wanted with his friends. but I couldn’t accept it, I wanted to fight for the love we had, so much, I negociated, I asked for more time, I begged, I told him that if he still loved me it would be worth it. after a day of speaking he said ok. A week after I asked him again ( because I was afraid and I had been walking on eggshells all week), he said that he still had that feeling that we wouldn’t be together forever, but he told me he loved me and he really wanted to work for it, to work on it and make it work! ( i was so happy!)

It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.

We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.

I took the plane the day after, he drove me there.

I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 7:25 pm

Hi Mary,

check this one:
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

Maya

January 21, 2018 at 9:25 pm

How do I get an LDR ex back after a fight regarding a lack of communication if I gnatted him a few times after the fight and he just says he wants to left alone? It was a 5 month relationship and I’m on day 12 of NC. Should I do 30 or 45 days?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 22, 2018 at 4:28 am

Hi Maya

Check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Thinks I’m Annoying

Darling

January 20, 2018 at 1:17 am

I got with my ex just over a year after his divorce, we were together for 11 months. Before we broke up, We lived together for about 2 months & during this time he started putting me down, being ignorant n distancing himself. He broke up with me by text. 2 weeks after I got back. We had an argument, I felt like he was grasping at straws for reasons to end it & he did. A few weeks after no contact, I sent him a letter, in which he replied, said he wasn’t planning on ending it n saying if I have questions to ask him. I shouldn’t of replied but i did ask him a few questions, said he had enough. I’m currently going no contact on day 20.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 21, 2018 at 5:05 am

Hi Darling,

That means your count needs to start after he asked if you still have questions.. And after nc, don’t send a letter again.. Are you actively improving and posting in social media?

Chelsea

January 12, 2018 at 9:34 pm

Hello Amor,
I took your advice from earlier to reach out one more time and this time he didn’t respond. Should I just give up now? I have pasted my original message to you below that you said it would be okay to initiate:
My boyfriend and I broke up month ago after 5 months Long Distance relationship. We met online and He came to visit me to meet in person once. We would FaceTime occasionally and Snapchat/text everyday. Distance was hard and he said he wasn’t fully ready to commit all the way because of it. We tried being friends but It didnt work for me so I asked to stop contact and went NC for a little over a month. I initiated contact last week. We texted for 3 days then he didn’t respond to my last text. I sent him a Snapchat on new year saying happy new year and he responded saying it back and I left it at that. I havnt reached out since though. Should I let him reach out now? Or should I try reaching out some more. He does respond when I do but I’m not sure if he’s just being nice.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2018 at 1:03 am

ok, this time let him initiate.. if he doesn’t after two weeks, that means it’s better to move on.

Mary

January 11, 2018 at 2:50 am

We were dating for 6 months and he suddenly ended our relationship because he got into law school 800 miles away. He said he doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. Our relationship was great, almost never argued, and we had an undeniable chemistry and spark. He said the only reason for ending it is because of the distance. I told him I loved him and he said he has feelings for me but is not in love.

I had no contact with him for about 25 days, but then I texted wishing him good luck in school a few days before his move. He was very responsive via texts and kept the conversation going. He’s said to me that he wishes we can still be friends and talk to me about everything. It’s been about two weeks since that initial text and he is almost always the one who initiates contact. It’s been about a week of texting, and I respond but then I eventually end the conversation by not asking any more questions or just simply not texting any more.

I want us to get back together and try being in a LDR. Will this guide be helpful even though he has already explicitly said he doesn’t want to be in a LDR? We are currently in the Random Meme and Remember the Good Times phase, but he is actually the one initiating these texts. How should I proceed if I want him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 7:07 pm

Hi Mary,

Yeah, it can help increase your chances but I think you need to restart nc and then start being active in your life.. once he sees you have your own life while his away, it can help making him more open when you start building rapport because he can see you’re not going to be a burden while his away because you also have your own life.

Mary

January 10, 2018 at 10:54 pm

My posts are not showing up on my part so sorry if this is a duplicate.

We were dating for 6 months and he ended our relationship because he was moving 800 miles away for law school for 3 years. He said he doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. Our relationship was great, almost never argued, and we had an undeniable chemistry and spark. He said the only reason for ending it is because of the distance.

I had no contact with him for about 25 days, but then texted wishing him good luck in school a few days before his move. He was very responsive via texts and kept the conversation going. He’s said to me that he wishes we can still be friends and talk to me about his new journey. It’s been about two weeks since that initial text and he is always the one who initiates contact. It’s been about a week of texting, and I respond but then I eventually end the conversation. I want us to get back together and try being in a LDR.

Will this guide be helpful even though he has already explicitly said he doesn’t want to be in a LDR? We are currently in the Random Meme and Remember the Good Times phase, but he is actually the one initiating these texts. How should I proceed if I want him back?
Mary

January 10, 2018 at 10:03 pm

We were dating for 6 months and he ended our relationship because he was moving 800 miles away for law school for 3 years. He said he doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. Our relationship was great, almost never argued, and we had an undeniable chemistry and spark. He said the only reason for ending it is because of the distance.

I had no contact with him for about 25 days, but then texted wishing him good luck in school a few days before his move. He was very responsive via texts and kept the conversation going. He’s said to me that he wishes we can still be friends and talk to me about his new journey. It’s been about two weeks since that initial text and he is always the one who initiates contact. It’s been about a week of texting, and I respond but then I eventually end the conversation. I want us to get back together and try being in a LDR.

Will this guide be helpful even though he has already explicitly said he doesn’t want to be in a LDR? We are currently in the Random Meme and Remember the Good Times phase, but he is actually the one initiating these texts. How should I proceed if I want him back?
Liz

January 10, 2018 at 8:32 pm

We were dating for 6 months and he ended our relationship because he was moving 800 miles away for law school for 3 years. He said he doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. Our relationship was great, almost never argued, and we had an undeniable chemistry and spark. He said the only reason for ending it is because of the distance.

I had no contact with him for about 25 days, but then texted wishing him good luck in school a few days before his move. He was very responsive via texts and kept the conversation going. He’s said to me that he wishes we can still be friends and talk to me about his new journey. It’s been about two weeks since that initial text and he is always the one who initiates contact. It’s been about a week of texting, and I respond but then I eventually end the conversation. I want us to get back together and try being in a LDR.

Will this guide be helpful even though he has already explicitly said he doesn’t want to be in a LDR? We are currently in the Random Meme and Remember the Good Times phase, but he is actually the one initiating these texts. How should I proceed if I want him back?
Mary

January 10, 2018 at 8:11 pm

We were dating for 6 months and he ended our relationship because he was moving 800 miles away for law school for 3 years. He said he doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. Our relationship was great, almost never argued, and we had an undeniable chemistry and spark. He said the only reason for ending it is because of the distance.
I had no contact with him for about 25 days, but then texted wishing him good luck in school a few days before his move. He was very responsive via texts and kept the conversation going. He’s said to me that he wishes we can still be friends and talk to me about his new journey. It’s been about two weeks since that initial text and he is always the one who initiates contact. It’s been about a week of texting, and I respond but then I eventually end the conversation. I want us to get back together and try being in a LDR.
Will this guide be helpful even though he has already explicitly said he doesn’t want to be in a LDR? We are currently in the Random Meme and Remember the Good Times phase, but he is actually the one initiating these texts. How should I proceed if I want him back?
Joy

January 10, 2018 at 11:10 am

Hi Amor,

Thank you for answering my question.

Can i make NC longer like 45 days or more? Also will there be an impact on him if i will not greet him on his special day the date will fall on my 28th day of NC?
Joy

January 10, 2018 at 3:41 am

Hi amor thank you for anawering my question.

Can i make the NC longer loke 45days or longer? Also will there be an impact on him if i will not greet him on his special day? Thanks so much
Joy

January 10, 2018 at 3:29 am

Thanks for answering my question amor,
Can i make the NC longer? Like 45 days or more?also will there be an impact on him if i will not greet him on his special event?
Joy

January 9, 2018 at 8:36 pm

My bf broken up with me last month dec 7, we have a long distance relationship for 1.5years although we are seeing each other every 3months, weve dated for more than a year before going official, ive known him for 7 years, the reason for our breakup was that ive been too much clingy and asking for a lot of time his been busy training for triathlon, the day before our breakup weve said a lot of hurtful things to each other ive also the one triggered him to say that he dont want this relationship anymore,he said at first that he still love me thats why ive never lost contact to him after our break up but that causes much more damage to us due to pleading on my part, at first he was the first to message me but right now i was the one always reaching out for him, the last time we have communication was after the new year just a friendly conversation then after that i havent heard from him or me talking to him, ive started embracing loving myself, ive been doing the journal thing but i’m just writing all the things im grateful for, and meditating that keeps me calm and grounded,i am more happier now, but i still wanted to have him back, do i still need to send him a messagee that i wont be messaging him during the no contact period?i know he will not going to message me if i will not going to initiate the conversation, i also want him to realize that i’m worth fighting for

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 10, 2018 at 1:30 am

Hi Joy,

nope, don’t tell him you’re not talking to him anymore nor about nc.

Chelsea

January 6, 2018 at 11:33 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up month ago after 5 months Long Distance relationship. We met online and He came to visit me to meet in person once. We would FaceTime occasionally and Snapchat/text everyday. Distance was hard and he said he wasn’t fully ready to commit all the way because of it. We tried being friends but It didnt work for me so I asked to stop contact and went NC for a little over a month. I initiated contact last week. We texted for 3 days then he didn’t respond to my last text. I sent him a Snapchat on new year saying happy new year and he responded saying it back and I left it at that. I havnt reached out since though. Should I let him reach out now? Or should I try reaching out some more. He does respond when I do but I’m not sure if he’s just being nice.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 6:07 pm

Hi Chelsea,

It’s ok to initiate. It’s more important that you’re the one ending the convo at high point

Chelsea

January 6, 2018 at 10:30 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up month ago after 5 months Long Distance relationship. We met online and He came to visit me to meet in person once. We would FaceTime occasionally and Snapchat/text everyday. Distance was hard and he said he wasn’t fully ready to commit y’all the way because of it. We tried being friends but It didnt work for me so I asked to stop contact and went NC for a little over a month. I initiated contact last week. We texted for 3 days then he didn’t respond to my last text. I sent him a Snapchat on new year saying happy new year and he responded saying it back and I left it at that. I havnt reached out since though. Should I let him reach out now? Or should I try reaching out some more. He does respond when I do but I’m not sure if he’s just being nice.
Chelsea

January 6, 2018 at 10:19 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up month ago after 5 months Long Distance relationship. We met online and He came to visit me to meet in person once. We would FaceTime occasionally and Snapchat/text everyday. I wanted a relationship and he wasn’t ready and we tried being friends but It didnt work for me so I asked to stop contact and went NC for a little over a month. I initiated contact last week. We texted for 3 days then he didn’t respond to my last text. I sent him a Snapchat on new year saying happy new year and he responded saying it back and I left it at that. I havnt reached out since though. Should I let him reach out now? Or should I try reaching out some more. He does respond when I do but I’m not sure if he’s just being nice.

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5,237 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”