How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Were Clingy

794 thoughts on “Stage 5 Clinger – Getting A Boyfriend Back If You Were Too Clingy”

Stephanie

October 7, 2016 at 7:09 pm

Hello,

I am beyond confused…So my boyfriend of almost 6 months breaks up with me because he felt like he needed space and to be alone. He felt like I was being too controlling in his life and negative. He gave me examples and I said I could work on them, but he didn’t even give me a chance. We are very much in love…We just broke up yesterday. We spoke–I contacted him, he told me how he is devastated and is hurting and he thinks he made a mistake. He also said he isn’t saying it’s over he just needs time. Then he said that he isn’t done fighting for us, but he hasn’t made any effort on actually working on things. I don’t understand this. Plus, he hasn’t said anything to me today. I just don’t get the mixed messages. I am trying to be strong by not texting him, but he also liked a post on my instagram…any thoughts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2016 at 12:17 pm

Hi Stephanie,

well, it’s human nature that he will be confused because you just broke up and it looks like there’s no strong reason to break up.. what was the catalyst for the break up? Did you fight?

Carol

October 5, 2016 at 4:18 pm

I had a guy I was having fun with over the Internet and it was just sexting and he said that I had to stop seeking his approval on everything I did. I noticed I was getting clingy but instead of sorting it out I ended up asking him if he wanted fun and he said that he wasn’t sure and the clinging was very off putting. Then I tweeted at him and private messaged him etc and more stuff and then queried him about a few things etc and then a few days ago I sent him a pic to help him feel better and he said he was good so I asked him if that meant he didn’t want fun me any more and he said that he thought he’d already told me that it wasn’t going to work so then I asked if when I’m better (not clingy) etc was there a chance that we could go back to that he said. Don’t know, can’t honestly say right now. What does all this mean?

Carol

November 3, 2016 at 6:54 am

I talked about my situation with the guy I was having fun with and we’ve been talking via message on twitter and we’ve been ok. He doesn’t message me back as quick as he used to but he has said to everyone on social media that he is very busy. I sent him a birthday message which he read but he didn’t even reply or anything. Does he still like me? A week and a half ago he was liking a few of my post about our fav band and now I get nothing. We’ve had one or two public convos but the other day he spoke to someone else and ignored me. I’m getting confused with his behaviour. Please reply as I’m struggling with sleeping at the moment
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 12:48 am

Sorry for the late reply.. I think you broke nc too early.. You read too much into him liking your posts and now, he’s back to ignoring you because it’s like you’re slowly helping him to move on…
Carol

October 20, 2016 at 11:43 pm

I broke the no contact rule after I replied back to a comment he put on my status after I asked a question about the tv show we both like, even tho he doesn’t like any of my other posts about other things. But my thing is… him liking the posts to be honest kinda feels like he’s being clingy to me. I used to have to always initiate conversations but he used to always reply back really quick.
Carol

October 17, 2016 at 8:31 pm

Ok, I’ve been doing it now for 9 days and we both like the same tv show and a few times that I’ve mentioned the show on a posts , he likes my post. And the other day he shared a post of a friend of an article that id posted about the day before. Is he trying to get my attention?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 7:51 pm

can be..those are good signs..
Carol

October 12, 2016 at 10:24 am

So what is my next move? 30 days no contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 12, 2016 at 1:46 pm

yeah, try it.. be active in it. Improve yourself, do new things and reconnect with friends more.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 3:13 pm

Hi Carol,

I’m going to be brutally honest. If you’re not his girlfriend, stop acting like one.. If you really want to be treated like a girlfriend, don’t give him the benefits of being a girlfriend.

Janae

October 3, 2016 at 5:27 pm

I am devastated. I was with my boyfriend for a year and 4 months…he was my partner in crime. We went to games together, binge watched netflix series together, cooked recipes and we even had a special handshake. Throughout our relationship I had a really bad habit of snooping and found multiple occasions of evidence where he was secretly talking to other women behind my back, on one of those occasions my boyfriend who I thought so highly of was secretly still browsing other girls on the dating website that I met him on. (sighs) Nonetheless, I still loved him. He still treated me better than any other man had, surprise trips, flowers at my job, money, and the finest gifts. He treated me like a princess even though he couldn’t keep his eyes off of other women, sometimes in public i’d catch him drifting off into lala land if ever a pretty girl walked past us while we were out together. Long story short, our relationship got to the point where there was no trust and we couldn’t go a week without arguing. I became naggy, clingy and couldn’t bring myself to trust his whereabouts..He met these new guy friends on his military base whose main definition of “fun” was bar hopping and chasing women on the weekend. My boyfriend began spending more and more time with these guys..the calls became nonexistent and he’d text me more or send me a snap instead of calling. Last friday we were suppose to see eachother after he left a potluck. He sent a text 20 minutes prior saying that his car had low tire pressure and he couldn’t drive 45 minutes to see me that night. I asked him if I could come to him instead and he denied me because of “curfew”. I called him 20 minutes later and my boyfriend was at the mall with these guys and I heard women in the background. I exploded over the phone because I felt that he completely stood me up to hang out with his no good boys. I was extremely emotional and didnt care if I sounded naggy, or bratty. He told me that he really wanted to see our relationship work but wasnt feeling it as of lately because of the arguing. He insisted on taking a “break” and that he needed time to think. I got further annoyed and continued to express how I felt until i was in tears. I got so frustrated over the phone that I broke up with him (which i didnt really want to do, but i felt like he didnt care and I wanted him to come chasing after me fighting for our relationship and he didnt). He quietly listened to my tears indifferently as usual and I hung up on him frantically and didnt speak to him for a week. That was the last time we spoke. I called a week later after I’d cooled down to talk to him and all of my calls/texts/social media attempts were ignored. I felt like a begging fool. Do you think there is any chance that we’d at least be friends again in the future? I still love him but I think me begging and eventually blocking him from my social media might have pushed him over the edge. He probably wants nothing to do with me now. The rejection hurts so bad that it stings. Please help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 10:52 pm

Hi Janae,

you had the right to be angry because he stood you up.. I think his recent rejection was just out of ego.. to get his power back. But if you really want a guy to chase you, you cant be the chaser..do you want to try what’s advised above?

Lor

October 2, 2016 at 9:38 pm

Hi, so i have been seeing this guy for about 4 months now, since we met I have seen him at least twice a week (we both still live at home) so on a few occasions have booked a hotel and made a proper night of things and things seem to have been going good. He has 2 young children from a previous relationship that ended only the beginning of this year, so he has them every other weekend, I’ve always known about them and his schedule and it’s never been an issue. On the occasion, on a weekend he hasn’t had the kids his communication with me hasn’t been great but I’ve not been that bothered as I understand he is still young and know he’s preoccupied with friends. Anyway, it was my birthday 2 weeks ago and he asked me out to dinner, on my actual birthday, booked it and the location was a surprise, we had a great night. Next night I went out with friends for some drinks and him and his friends met us, had another good night, he was very affectionate, all his friends said How much he liked me. I went on holiday the next day, we talked as normal texts back and forward and he picked me up from the airport the following weekend when I returned. As soon as I was back, he seemed a bit off but I ignored it, saw him the day after and then again that week. So this week he still seemed off so I asked him what was up, told me nothing everything is fine, and if there was something he’d tell me. Said we’d do something Thursday, he text as normal Thursday morning, I replied, and
I didn’t hear off him rest of the day so text again later on just asking if we were still on for later, no reply. Got to about 8pm, rang him no answer – this is something he’s never done. Few hours later, text him saying what’s going on and nothing. I’ve not heard off him since, now I know it may not seem like very long but we text a lot in the day and as I said I’ve seen him very regular. I’m not going to lie over this weekend I have text him and tried calling him a few more times and still nothing but he’s been on social media – he is blatantly ignoring me now. I really do not know what to do for the best now!!! Help required!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 6:35 pm

Hi Lor,

If he’s ghosting, you the best you can do is to do be in no contact rule.. I think you should do at least 30 days. If he messages you e in it, let him tell you first why he ghosted you and of he wants to work it out, before answering him.

Star Smith

September 22, 2016 at 9:50 pm

Hi guys. My relationship is a little different… We both loved each other alot. And both of us are 19, by the way. So, what happened was that recently he went on vacation with his family for 2 months. And no, he did not cheat on me while he was there. He swore on his grandmother’s grave that he did not do anything. He got back from his vacation, and we had a great time spending time together. And then literally out of no where he got a panic attack, and he told me that he was missing his family and everything… It was weird, and then the next day I came by to see him so I could see if his anxiety was better. And he broke up with me. He said that the relationship was giving him anxiety and I tried to convince him saying that university is giving him anxiety. When I left his house I got a call from him and he said let’s not break up. I was so happy. Then two days later I went to go see him and his anxiety was worse. So he broke up with me again… And once again I convinced him that he’s just simply scared. And he agreed, he said he shouldn’t have anxiety over all this. And we were okay… And then once again he broke up with me. That was the final time. He said his decision is final and concrete, that’s when he told me he lost feelings for me. But I just don’t get it… He broke up with me 4 times within a 10 day span. It drives me crazy… He said nothing happened; his feelings just were lost. And I don’t know what to do. I’m still in love with him, I hate it. I try talking to him and he says that we should treat the break up like a break up; no contact for a while. I’m so upset… I try being with family to keep myself occupied and happy but I constantly think of him. 🙁

Star Smith

September 22, 2016 at 9:51 pm

Also, we were together for 2 years
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 5:33 pm

Hi Star Smith,
That’s normal that you would miss him..you just recently broke up.. I have theory.. but keep in mind, it’s just a theory.. Maybe he misses his family and he’s thinking of moving back home.. so that means he has to break up with you because it would be easier to leave if he has nobody to leave behind and no long distance relationship to maintain..
If that’s the case, there’s a chance that he will miss you and ask you back.. Just keep, improving yourself while you’re doing nc.. give him a reason to miss you more.

Sindy

September 22, 2016 at 1:18 pm

Hi, no he told me he no longer loves his Ex girlfriend and he doesnt love me too but he likes me as a friend but we broke up because i complained alot. So i told him that i dont have any hope of getting back with him anymore but he said it is possible we can if God wills it. Then he got upset and left. He said his love for me were real until he got fed up because we were together for just 2 months. please what do i do and is there a possibilty to have him coming back? Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 2:02 pm

Ah ok.. well, why not do no contact? Do it, and focus in improving yourself.

Nikolle

September 22, 2016 at 1:12 pm

I don’t know if there is any hope in my dire situation. My fiancé of seven years has severed all contact, and blocked me on social media. We broke up in April but were still talking and were going to get back together. I found out he was seeing someone else and freaked. A month ago he came over and we slept together. We were doing well and again talking about getting back together and moving back to his hometown. We moved back separately with family, and I found out yesterday that behind my back he moved another woman in with him, the same woman. I freaked out and sent him 100 texts trying to find out why. He responded that we were done and he was going to throw my stuff away, it was so sudden. I jumped in a cab and went straight to his house. His brother came out and threatened me. Lots of screaming, cops were called. He refuses to see me, is living with another woman he was cheating on me with, and has allowed his family to poison him against me. I don’t care I want this relationship back to where we were before this past year when everything fell apart. I want to fight for us. Is there a shred of hope here, and what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 2:00 pm

Hi Nikolle,

but with what’s happened, it’s apparent that that’s the last thing he would want right? And if you keep pushing, you would like the crazy ex girlfriend. This is not the right circumstance to keep charging.. I think it’s best if you do at least 45 days of no contact and follow what’s advised above.

Eve

September 21, 2016 at 12:39 am

I’m not sure what to do. I looked at this article and I kind of already went through these steps. The problem is my relationship was long-distance. I met him 3 months ago and everything was going smoothly. I realized I was texting him a little more than normal and he said that he didn’t mind my texts, that they made his day. They were short 1-2 texts a couple times a week telling him I was thinking of him, missed him, etc.

One day I told him that I wanted to have kids with him. And after the fact, I knew that was the worst thing to say. But it was too late. He stopped talking to me and I was devastated. Then I kept texting him, calling him, etc. Then I stopped texting about a month ago (before I started up more recently this past week)

A little over a week ago, I went to pay a surprise visit to him cos I knew he was in a competition at his gym. I wanted to know what was going on because he had completely ignored me. I came in late to the competition because I knew I would catch him off guard.

After the competition, I was waiting and he was helping the others clean up the gym. He said nothing to me. Then all of a sudden I receive a text from him, saying, “Don’t talk to me. Text me later”. I could tell he was angry. I was probably the person he would have least expected to see (I met him on a megabus after all and we don’t see each other on a regular basis).

I acted calm, went outside of the gym, so he couldn’t see me and asked, “If not now, then when?” He replied ” I don’t know. I have 20 things to do and I have to go to a meeting in 15 minutes”. Then he told me, “Later tonight”. I said okay. Then he asked me “What did you want to talk about” I told him I wasn’t angry at him and that even though he didn’t want to talk to me, I think it was important for us to talk.

We finally decided that he could meet up with me at my hotel later on. I was so incredibly worried he would never show up. He eventually did though. He hung out with me in my room for 2 hrs. During that time I told him how I had acted like an idiot saying that I wanted to have kids with him because truthfully, I can’t foresee things. I don’t know what’s going to happen in my future, for real. Then I said that just caused me to keep texting him because I never saw him reply. He told me that at that time I had said that, he lost his phone and all his contacts on it, so he had to get a new phone. I know for certain it’s true though (he wasn’t lying, even though were not friends on Facebook, I could tell he posted about it) But what I don’t get is if that was the case, how would he have been able to text me at that time I was at the gym? How did he know it was my number all of a sudden, and not before? It doesn’t add up. During the majority of the time, we engaged in sexual activity.

Then he eventually had to go back to work to help clean up the rest of the gym and stay overnight there cos he was leaving with his team super early the next morning. I was so hungry that day because I barely ate since I was so worried. I was even anxious when he was with me for that brief time because I knew he would be leaving soon. He was nice enough to give me 2 precooked chicken dinners that he had taken from the gym. I was so sad when he was leaving, but I felt a bit better about my situation.

After he left, I texted him that I was happy to see him and wished him good luck with the rest of his stuff on his plate. I also told him that I wished I could go with him. I joked that I could be his pet and he could just put me in a carrier like a dog or cat. He replied, “That won’t work. Sorry, Eve” I also texted him an hour later, “You always leave me presents when you go. 9 cents and a pair of socks that aren’t my size but thx for the chicken”. He replied, “Haha”.

The next morning when I was leaving to go back home, I texted, “Good morning sunshine, I love you”. He didn’t respond at that time, but he has told me he has loved me in the past. Once when he was talking about visiting me 2 months ago, I asked him how long he wanted to stay with me? He replied, “A long time. Eternity” !!!

Other than that time last week, I texted him that a band I liked was announcing a tour and since they are an international act, they would probably only go to major cities so there would be a chance that I might come to Minneapolis again when they announce the dates so I would keep him posted. He never replied to me about it.

One of the most recent times I texted him was this past Sunday when I said sometimes I wish he could read my mind and that I wished he had sex with me without protection because then I could truly feel him penetrate me (we were fooling around the time I visited him) He had talked to me a couple of months ago about wanting to do that even though I told him no because I didn’t want to become pregnant, but I eventually realized it would probably feel better. He had told me before that it “would bring us closer”. After I texted him about my wishes, he replied, “Pill?”. I texted “No, I’m not on birth control though. I still need to talk to my doctor.” And the last time I was on the pill I had an allergic reaction so I’d have to see my options. He replied “Okay”. Then I said, “But I like being close to you. Only you”

One of the very last times I texted him was last night. I sent him 3 text messages! (cringe) I had left my phone at home all day and my dad was texting me asking if I knew the Smith’s song, “Asleep” was about suicide? Then my dad also texted, me “I love you”. He had seen on Facebook that I had posted about liking to play that song sometimes before I go to sleep because it’s beautiful. Since I already have some mental health issues, he was assuming I was suicidal. But I’m not. I told him, no I like to play the song because I think it’s beautiful and that I’ve never contemplated suicide. Then I proceeded to rant to my bf, who was probably sleeping since he usually replies to my late night texts in the morning. I texted him, “Dear God, my dad thinks I’m suicidal because I like to play the Smith’s song, “Asleep” on my keyboard.” My next message was, “Smh. I only like to play it because I think it’s beautiful” A couple hours later in the night, I apologized to him for ranting and that I knew he was sleeping. I told him sorry.

This morning this is what I receive: “We should stop talking. I can’t do long distance. You’re too much. Please don’t text back. Do not call do not come find me in Minnesota” Next message, “I will no longer respond to you. And if you come to my gym again I will call the police” Last message, “Leave me alone”

Of course, I naturally responded and told him I still loved him and that I respected him and would stop. I also told him that I still remember he told me I was beautiful the last time I visited him even though I said I didn’t feel that way. He told me that I should and that I was beautiful the way I was at that time of the visit. At this current time, I texted him “Thank you, but I wish I was a more simple girl for you

I also sent him a pic message of a heart pin I had bought before I last visited him which served as a reminder to me, “Don’t Text Him” https://gabriella-sanchez.com/DON-T-TEXT-HIM-PIN

with a soundfile of a song I recorded on my keyboard with my voice about him

I’m not sure there’s anything else I can do……..

:'(

Eve

October 5, 2016 at 12:42 am

I know it’s ultimately up to me what I want to do, but my friend told me she liked the idea of a letter too because it seemed very thoughtful.

Trying to fit one page into a Facebook message, it’s going to look massive and ridiculous. Do people realize that text messages and FB messages are not that personal? I mean, come on, people like to receive actual mail because it’s so uncommon nowadays!! I bet he would be curious, to say the least…

I want to get my point across to him about my anxiety and my other past relationship. And I mean he blocked me on his phone. I’m pretty sure. It would be stupid for me to start out texting him if texting him so much is what bothered him in the first place.

I’m still coming up with a way for him to read it. I actually want to first FB message him and tell him that I’m sending him a letter that is neither hateful nor mushy. Then try to challenge him by saying, if you are a mature enough person, you will read this.

I think that might be good….. otherwise I might write something on the back of the envelope instead of the FB message because it may be too upfront with the warning ahead of time on Facebook and he will dread receiving it.

So maybe a warning isn’t a great option? I just know he doesn’t like surprises.

I know my thoughts are totally against the advice given here but I can’t help but feel this way
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2016 at 10:14 am

yeah, a letter is really romantic.. I’m all for sending and receiving it..it’s just that, his first thought would be is that it’s not romantic because you’re not in a relationship and if it’s all negative , he probably wont finish it but do whatever helps you.. if it helps you to be more emotionally peaceful go ahead..
Eve

October 4, 2016 at 1:34 am

Well, I was thinking of sending him a FB message before sending him the letter. I would say, “FYI: I sent you a letter in the mail. It’s neither hateful nor overly mushy. I don’t want to surprise you anymore if it disturbs you. I feel so misunderstood. All I can ask is for you to read it. If you are a mature enough person, you will. Thank you” I don’t know….if I sent my reasoning as a FB message and it’s one page long, that won’t look ridiculous?

I would never send it as a text message. It would probably take 10 or more messages to fit all the text characters and he blocked me on his phone I think.

But you are right, I should probably start out small with a simple message to him. I just want to blurt out everything that’s bothering me though…..

I realize I have time. I decided I won’t contact him until 2 whole months because I’ve gone without talking to him for 1 month before so I know it would be too soon.
Eve

October 1, 2016 at 1:49 am

Amor,

I wasn’t going to say anything about declaring my love for him in the letter.
I would explain what went wrong in our relationship and my reasoning behind why I texted him so much and why I came to visit him.
He was not a very good communicator with me to begin with. I also used to be sort of in a relationship with another guy prior to him. This previous guy and I would text each other constantly on a regular basis for 3 whole years! There was not much else to our relationship and we would only see each other once or twice a year. And he lived in the same town as me! So talking to my bf that just broke up with me was a complete change of pace. This would explain why I seemed clingy.

I really think my letter is good so far. I keep omitting stuff and adding more necessary stuff to it as time goes on. It’s not super long. Like one page. But the only thing is, how will I know he will actually read it and not throw it away?

So yeah, my thinking about this is constantly changing as time goes on and reading the resources you have on here. Talking to my therapist has also been helpful even though he’s been pessimistic and telling me to not contact him and that he wouldn’t read the letter. He doesn’t want me to do that

But I can’t give up on hope and I find that positive thinking can really change your outlook on things even though it’s super difficult to feel motivated.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 3, 2016 at 4:01 pm

hmm.. the reason why we don’t recommend sending a letter, and more probably why your therapist doesn’t agree is because you will look like you’re chasing him. A letter is too formal no matter what the content is. And if it’s one page long, just by looking at it, he would probably think it’s all negative and not read it right away.

If it’s really just the reason, send it as a text and make it as casual as possible..
Eve

October 1, 2016 at 1:38 am

Also, I’m not very active on Facebook to begin with…..guess that needs to change
I have to admit I’m an introvert.
I just post online articles and music lol

I’m starting to kind of think that I may wait longer than 45 days before contacting him even though I know that’s not ideal. But I’ve gone on without speaking to him for a whole entire month before, so for our relationship 45 days may not seem like a huge chunk of time to show any difference

But I can’t do the mutual friend thing to pass information along because I don’t personally know any of his friends
Eve

October 1, 2016 at 1:30 am

Janine,

I just looked at this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-to-do-if-your-ex-boyfriend-blocks-you/

It is very helpful for me right now. It also mentions not to write letters to exes because it might come across as too creepy
Janine

September 29, 2016 at 5:21 pm

Hi Eve.. you and I are in the same exact boat.. seriously..we should talk. I’m finding it helps to talk to someone who’s going through the exact same torture
Eve

September 29, 2016 at 2:11 am

I can’t text or call him. He told me he would no longer respond. Would writing a letter and sending it to him at his work be fine? I don’t know where he exactly lives and I don’t want to try to look for his home address because that is too stalkerish. I would plan on sending the letter sometime after the last day in October. My friend is helping me with it. I just don’t know if it should just be plain notebook paper. Can I use stationary? Or would that be too flashy? I don’t want to mess this up 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 7:08 pm

Well, he said that when he was sure that you were chasing him and that you’re so hung up on him. It would be different if you really established that you have moved on through your posts.. Do not tell him literally that you have moved on. You would sound like you’re just trying to convince him.. And honestly what would the letter say? Would you tell him again how much you love him? Because that wouldn’t help you.. It would put you back in the chaser position.

But of course I can’t stop you if that is the approach that you are comfortable with. But just to remind you, you have to focus in improving yourself and having your own life now and in meeting new people. You can think about how to message him after no contact.. You only have a limited time of putting yourself first and only thinking about yourself. So, make the most out of it.
Eve

September 27, 2016 at 1:39 am

How can I accidentally bump into him? I live in a different state from him. I think it would be pretty obvious after I had already showed up at his gym when he hadn’t talked to me for a month. (This was before he officially broke up with me though) At that time, I also acted calm even though he was angry at me. I played it pretty cool and told him that it was important for us to talk since I wanted to know why he hadn’t talked to me in a month and then apologized for saying weird stuff about wanting to have kids with him because truthfully I can’t see into the future. I also told him I kept texting him because he didn’t respond to me and that caused me to freak out. But he told me he didn’t respond because he lost his phone and therefore my number. But he was able to text me when I got to his competition? Was this kind of a lie?
And then he hung out with me a couple hours later for a little while and everything seemed normal again.

Am I supposed to pretend I am in his state for a different reason other than him? How can I do this?
He is a parkour athlete and I mean it’s interesting to watch. I still think he wouldn’t believe me if I showed up at one of his competitions again other than to see him. Truthfully, though, I think the sport in itself is amazing to watch.

Should I go to one of his competitions and then just leave? Not say anything. Like make it so he’s able to see me and then just leave and not talk.

I don’t know how to do this in a long-distance relationship 🙁
Should I get a job near where he lives? I don’t know what my other options are…..just write a letter?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2016 at 9:38 am

Oh no no… I thought even though you were long distance, that it was a common gym for you two.. dont go there if it would be weird..

it really takes a longer time to get to the meet up stage when you’re in ldr.. that happens to all long distance relationships..

so, that means that’s your best approach.. slowly build rapport through text and calls after nc..and then it would be easier to meet up after that
Eve

September 26, 2016 at 1:34 am

Another question? What if he blocked me from his phone? Through what outlet should I try to contact him? He said he would no longer respond to my calls/texts when he broke up with me. Also he was never a good communicator with me to begin with and didn’t reply to me that much overall when I sent texts. I know this is weird, but I want to send him flowers with a card. If I try to connect with him thru Facebook, he will probably ignore me and since were not friends on Facebook, he would have to accept my message request before he could receive my message. I have a strong feeling he wouldn’t reply. Even after 45 days.

If I sent him flowers, I would know for sure he got my message. I just hope it’s not too extreme of a gesture. I already showed up at his gym unannounced in the past but that was because he hadn’t replied to my texts for a whole entire month and that was the only way I would find out that he lost his phone and his contacts. I don’t know…. I’ve been asking another one of my friends for advice too

At the very least, I would like for him to have read my message. I plan on not putting my name on it either if I sent the flowers
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2016 at 11:37 am

Nope, don’t ever do that.. The flowers is screaming that you are not over him and you’re chasing him. He blocked you. The last thing he wants is you declaring your love, chasing him or showing signs that you are going to do that.

He needs to think you have really moved on.. “Accidentantly” bumping into him is better.. What concerns me is if you are going to do that, will you be able to show that you have moved on and not get angry, not blame him, not accuse him? And just act normal?
Eve

September 24, 2016 at 3:14 am

By the way, from the way he broke up with me, he seemed pretty intent on keeping me out of his life.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 5:28 pm

Ok, I think it would be better if you do 45 days.
Eve

September 24, 2016 at 3:11 am

I started the No Contact rule 2 days ago, right exactly the day after we broke up, and am still going strong.

How long would you advise I do this? One of your articles says, 30 days, while the other is 45.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 22, 2016 at 7:38 pm

Hi Eve,

Even though you’re long distance. You still have to follow what’s advised above and then check and review this other ones:
EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?
The Ungettable Girl
The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship

Frost

September 20, 2016 at 1:48 pm

Hi Amor! (answering here instead of after my message because it doesn’t seem to upload)
I didn’t need to send the confrontational text in the end 🙂 he answered positively to my first contact message with a funny answer ! I did first contact message, a second one next day, no text 3rd day on Saturday, a funny one asking for advice on cooking 4rth day, funny one on something i saw on 5th day. I’ve been sending all my messages towards the same time during the evening, he’d answer almost immediately so I’m guessing it’s very positive 😀 ! Today on day six though I sent a third funny text again (as I’m not so sure memory text will work well since we haven’t had much dates, I already kinda inserted a memory on 4th day, saying that I’d try his recipe when i get the ingredients and in the meantime went to get something at a restaurant we both went to) but more like a knock knock jokes on a subject we both like rather than something funny that happened. I sent my joke in the afternoon rather than in the evening for once too, and… no answer :/ . Meh. I never re-send a message when i see that he doesn’t answer back. I also can’t get him to send more than two texts, even when I send a 3rd one to keep the conversation going to 4 texts like suggested on day 4… Even if he replied up to now almost immediately.
What should I do if I get no answer on days after “first contact” ? Should I leave a day or two where I don’t send anything? Also, even if he responds really quickly, is it bad if it doesn’t really go beyond 2 replies in a day ? Should I ask him how he’s doing in our conversations after engaging the discussions, or is that intruding in on him?
The thing is he’s kind of a bear. When he answers he does short messages and sometimes forgets to reply when he’s busy during the day. That’s just how he is, he’s not big on phone communication. While I talk a lot xD (I’m forcing myself to keep everything to 1-3 sentences max) . Since he thought I was “clingy/stalker-ish” wouldn’t it freak him out that I’m sending him a text every day? I’m afraid of overdoing it even if I stick to your game plan and send short messages, he might not want to talk to me every single day after 45 days of no contact… I’m afraid I’ll scare him off. I’m so happy to hear from him and talk again, but I’m afraid that he’ll find it strange since we’ve only dated a month.
I just bought the texting bible byt the way, will see if anything that applies to my case…

Frost

September 25, 2016 at 9:03 pm

It’s weird because he always answers very quickly (exept once). He’ll sometimes ask me questions (what book is it I’m reading, which job was I cast for?) , so it’s not like he tries to escape conversations… At least I don’t think so… Once I waited a bit to answer he send a second message to ask if I was stil there… But this is the third time when I ask him questions, about him, and not just ask for advice, he either ignores and concentrates on the rest of the conversation (answering on health advice I ask, but ignoring questions on how he is).
Does this mean he’s trying to block any intimacy? Or does this mean he wants the conversation to just be about me? Is he trying to stay mysterious in some way? What could be the reasons behind this and how do you work with it? I could just talk about me but won’t it come off as obnoxious and selfish?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2016 at 9:43 am

Hmm, it’s probably because he doesn’t want the conversation to reach the break up topic so, he’s avoiding answering how he is or he doesn’t have much going on.. So, avoid asking about him. Talk about any other topic but him or how he is..
Frost

September 25, 2016 at 7:56 pm

Hi Amor!
Thank you for your tips! So I waited three days like you suggested, yesterday tried another “curious message”, he answered straight away, I followed by a message in his hobbies. We got to exchange four messages each and I ended the conversation at a high point. It seemed to go well!
Today I tried more natural conversations. I thanked him for fitness advice I had already asked him concerning his area of expertise on day number four, as I got to use his advice. And I also asked how his weekend was. He answered very “matter of factly” concerning the fitness… and ignored my question. So I continued the conversation on that expertise, showing him that he had gotten me interested on the subject, and asked again “How was your weekend?”. This time no answer whatsoever. Completely ignored.
So maybe “how are you” is a bit ‘basic’ and less interesting, but I felt I should show him that I’m not just trying to talk about myself (with “you’ll never guess what i saw/what i did” that I’ve done three times, then turning the subject to his interests with “Saw this book that you’d like/did that workout could you give me advice”) and care about how he is. Was that a bad move? Esch time I do a curious message and go on about me it seems to work, but as soon as I seem to ask what is he doing/reading/thinking about on current news and whatnot he zones out. It’s strange. It’s like he doesn’t want to talk and is closing up which seems negative, but yet he answers always immediately when i send a message which you write is a very good sign… I’m very confused.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 22, 2016 at 5:28 am

Hi Frost,

Yes, you need to rest for maybe 2-3 days now. At least you’ve gotten him to reply… I think you need to use a more conversational topic.. like anything that is current with the news, in his life, with friends that he’s interested in talking about.. or anything in his hobby, expertise

Sindy

September 20, 2016 at 12:57 pm

I told my Ex that we should just be friends and i dont have feelings for him anymore now he becomes very active online and responds speedily to my chats when i initiate one. He keeps playing mind games to see if i still have feelings for him and each time i respond with what are friends for, he just answers with a Hmmmm. He keeps changing his profile pictures with love quotes or neglected qoutes and his status seems to be directed at me. One time, he said he wants to meet me, and insisted that we get in touch but i told him it was tempting tho i didnt mean it, so he said we shouldnt meet again we should stick to social networks. What do i do now please and how do i get him back coz he still loves his Ex. Does he still loves me? Please help me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 7:16 pm

Hi Sindy,

he still loves his ex? When did you break up and how long were you together? Are you going to do a full no contact?

lexymax

September 18, 2016 at 10:39 am

okay thanks for that. But do you think he will come back? We were together for a month. But last week, i sent him a message stating that i will never cross path with him unfortunately, i am now with a close friend of him which means we are bound to meet. I didnt know they were close friends so what do i do now? And he hasnt responded yet to my previous messages. Please what do i do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 5:45 pm

I hope I can guarantee that, but I can’t. The only way you can increase your chances is by stopping to chase him. And if you want him to think you had stopped. You have to stop saying it too. It would like you’re just trying to convince. If you really don’t care, you just don’t. Be calm when you see him. Don’t react.. And focus in improving yourself

lexymax

September 17, 2016 at 4:22 pm

What does it mean when you tell your ex that you only want to be friends with him and not plan on getting back with him ever again. Will it work? Because we broke up months ago and i was in an excrutiating pain only to come out of it recently.
Cassie

September 16, 2016 at 4:42 pm

I received a text message yesterday saying that we should not see be together anymore because I was too much for him to deal with. We have been dating for about 4 mos. I told him some of my insecurities with relationships very early on. We got through that part and everything has been perfectly ok. Then a month later we were texting eachother and he didn’t reply for a couple hours. I asked him if he had an issue with what I said (since it’s not really normal for him to do that) and he flipped out and told me to relax. After that, things seemed fine but different. He started taking hours to reply to every thing for the next two days. So I asked if something was up and if he wanted to talk about it. He said he was fine and that I was overthinking. I told him that he seemed a little distant. Then he ignored me. Naturally I hate being ignored so I sent him lots of texts messages trying to figure out what what going on and how I felt. It wasn’t mean but I just wanted him to talk to me or to just reply. He finally sent a message the next day saying that we should not be together anymore because I am too much to deal with. I haven’t replied to it at all because I’m hurt but also numb. I know it wasn’t sending all those texts wasn’t the best response but it’s frustrating that things that can be easily resolved seem to be grounds to never see someone again. How is that reason enough to leave me? I don’t plan on ever responding or contacting him again but it hurts so bad. Maybe I was overacting but sheesh, I never said I was perfect. Dating feels so hard because people truly do expect perfection. Do you think we will talk to eachother again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 8:27 pm

Hi,

He already said he doesn’t want to be together, so I think he just doesn’t want to keep reiterating things because maybe he’s getting annoyed about it. Maybe he was just busy when wasn’t capable of responding faster..
Are you going to try what’s advised above?

Marta

September 15, 2016 at 11:32 pm

Thank you!
This article has been eye opening!
I’ll start the process from today.
Wish me luck!

Carol

October 5, 2016 at 4:55 pm

How are things Martha?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 2:56 pm

Good luck Marta!

E

September 14, 2016 at 8:19 pm

I have been broken up with my ex of 2.5 years for 9 months, I have tired no contact with him several times but he convinced me to talk to him each time which I do regret. He lead me on for a while saying he wanted me back but he was just ‘not ready’ for how serious we were yet. Apart from the failed attempts at no contact we have spoken everyday.. Recently the tables have turned and I have found myself becoming clingy and wanting answers, we keep arguing and he said its best we don’t speak while, he wants to be friends but we need time.. Is it worth giving it one more shot at sticking to no contact to prove I’m not the clingy girl I suddenly came across as..? Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 2:26 pm

Hi E,

it’s the only choice you have apart from moving, so go. Try it and do 45 days.

Ellie

September 14, 2016 at 7:31 pm

Hi! Very good article! I just got rejected by a guy i only met twice because i was too clingy and he didn t “see me like that”. I m not gonna see him for at least 2 years as i m going back to my home country. I know there is nothing to do now as i think he is not stable in his life anyway. But i was wondering, do you think that in two years time I could get him to like me again? I realise i have a problem and i m very insecure and i really want to change! (I m 23 and this guy made me realise how i m with them…). I will probabmy be over him by then but do you think a guy would be ok to start over again? As if we never met? I really like him and it was love at first sight for me but i was too clingy (texts wise) and head over heels for him. We made out and he told me i was beautiful. But we don t know each other that well. And it s so frustrating cause all my guy friends like to spend time with me because i m a nice girl :/.. i turned him on with my texts… he isn t an easy guy either (he said he was having a dark time… that he had to get his shit together… i should have taken the hints before. He is not emotionnally available!)

For example, I had a crush on a guy once and it didn t work out. I met him one year later after not contacting him and now we are like very good friends! (I still had hope but realised he is not for me haha).

So yeah, is there any chance to have him like me again in a few years? Can be useful for any type of relationship i suppose haha.

Thanks for your answer!! 🙂

Ellie

Ellie

September 14, 2016 at 7:41 pm

I meant to say “i turned him OFF with my texts”. And he is a busy guy (working 3 jobs). We flirted a lot by text. And basically i gave him my phone number at his job because i was going often and realised that the cute shop assistant was recognising me… and then i got impatient and obsessed. Again… i want to change. But if i see him again i want to be ready to make him fall for me and chase me! 🙂 i m actually gonna start a therapy very soon to understand why i m so afraid of rejection and being left alone.. time heals!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 7:01 pm

Hi Ellie,

yes, I think two years is more than enough to have a restart.

lexymax

September 14, 2016 at 8:12 am

Hi
My ex and i broke up almost a month now but it seems as if it is still fresh i cant get over him no matter how hard i try. I found it difficult doing the No contact thing but i am ready to try it now. I hope its not too late because i have afted so needy and desperate and i hate it i just hope it is not too late. We have friends not too close friends sha for 3 years now and we only started dating in july and things have been great he started showing his love for wanting to show me off to his friends because am the sort of girl dat everyone in the faculty wants to be with and he was so excited he finally got me after crushing over me for 3years so he said. After a while, he started pulling away and i started complaining about his lack of care and concern (big mistake) tho. 2 weeks to our exams, for the first time in our dating, he looks me in the eye and says he wants to be i a serious relationship with me and he loves me so much but he needs to pass his final Exams first if i could cope and i was confused coz i thought we were actually dating. After that day, he changed, he wouldnt even come online to chat with me or give reason why he was away until i send out a hello to him, he started acting like i was forcing him to talk to me so i told him we needed to talk and he agreed but never fixed a time for dat so i complained again and he fixed a day n time. On dat day i waited and when i didnt hear from him, i called his brother and spoke to him so he got angry about it and broke up with me. I beg hi not to but he did anyway saying that i complain a lot and assume things and i went and reported him to his brother. 3 days later, i asked him to tell me why, he said i am too special tobe treated anyhow and he likes my kind of person and dat he doesnt want to make any promises that would be void and that he doesnt want to hurt me anymore he also said that we should be close friends and hope for better days to come so i accepted it.
A week later i called him saying we should sit and talk which he agreed to he said the day we broke up, he was going to make promises to me but i ruined it for him. He said he still loves and rezpects me. He said i should move on with my life in a heart broken manner. He said he was scared of what would be waiting for him at home since he is now a graduate that they want him to marry and they want him to marry a woman of his tribe or culture and that the last woman he fought for to marry, jilted him and followed another man. So after a week, i started contacting him (big mistake) and sharing my life with him, and he discovered that i am now happy one thing, he acted jealous when he saw a picture of me and a guy as my profile picture ( i didnt do it intentionally tho) but he said he has been curious about the picture but he is not jealous. One time when i called him, he told me he was going back to his own house and asked if i wanted to join him so i said i will put it in to considerstion. 5-6 days later, i sent him a long message telling him how much i wanted the relationship to work and how ibroke my principles to be with him because he said he vowed Never to date while in the university until he met me so i had the sameprinciples to but i broke it. I told him what my life was going to look like and how much i wanted him in it and i was actually begging and asking him to open up about how he felt becauseeach time i asked how he was, he wouldnt respond he will just go straight to what i wanted to know and that is it. He still cares about me this i know. My question is, what should i do to make him come back on his own without me looking desperate or needy because the truth is i am not. I just dont want it to be too late for him when or if he comes back to me because i dont believe ina second chance relationship and he is well aware of it. He hasnt responded to my messages yet and i dont know what to do? He just keeps coming online without saying a word and he will log out till the following day. The same routine everyday. Please what should i do? I need help thanks for helping.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 4:23 pm

HI Lexymax,

you said you were together just this last July but you’re also broken up for almost a month now? So, how long were you together? about a month or less?

I think it’s not yet too late for a no contact.. don’t beg again, so that you don’t look desperate..

Frost

September 14, 2016 at 3:37 am

Hi crew!
I can’t find my old message or remember on which article I wrote in on, so I’ll try to do a quick recap.
Met man on dating site, let’s call him Bear. First time love at first sight. We hit it off instantly, great connection, all in common, fireworks, you know the drill… All that was clishe said about love i understood it then. Saw him three times in a month, but I was in my exams and failing, very stressed and at a bad time in my life. I had gotten out of an awful relationship in which i’d been cheated on. My best girlfriend during my one month seeing bear was extremely jealous of me, i suspect had feelings for bear as she knew him from her old job. She had tried to sleep with him before I even met him, told me she was over it… But she kept on reporting to me his facebook statuses and turning me against him, playing with my nerves during exams. I had often acted ridiculous around him, under my friend’s advice even telling him about my awful past relationships early on. She got what she wanted, Bear was still encouraging me, but the more I acted under stress and bad advice the less he was being responsive, I was being more and more clingy. It exploded when I did a jealous fit on something he wrote telling him i felt discarded. He said it was too much too soon for him, that he felt i was stalking his social media. He deleted me from social media and instead of me playing it cool realizing it’s ‘just’ social media, I freaked even more, assuming straight off he was discarding me from his life. With my friend’s awful advice I sent him next day a loooong mail explaining how i needed «future husband» material (how to make a guy run off 101….) and that I’m letting him leave so he can better find out what he wants before coming back but that until then I deserved only the best. Yeah. I acted creepy. I would get that kind of message after a month I’d freak out too, but I realized that late. A week later I found out my friend wanted to get him, had tried toying with him before, and that I’d been a complete and utter fool on top of acting like a psycho under pressure. I sent him a desperate text saying «I’m sorry, i regret my huge mail, it was a mistake. Please could we talk.»
No answer whatsoever. Got ghosted.
So I followed NC.
Today is officially day 45. I decided to take a break in studies (I wanted to for so long but had family pressure) and go ahead into finding a day job and comitting to theater. I’ve gone such a long way, been casting almost everyday and worked with people I admire. I’ve gone further in this past month than I have in a year. I cut ties with all the toxic people in my life, including said friend and awful exes, stood up for myself, made new close friends. I’d gotten back to writing and been releasing articles every 3 days. This guy gave me more courage determination and positivity than any past relationship, because I see him like so and admire him greatly for it. I’m not exaclty where I want to be in 45 days (was hoping to close a day job and agency contract) but I’ve gone far notheless. I also tell myself that if I wait for the «perfect» moment I’ll never do anything, since I can always do better anyways.
I met a lot of great guys, one of them I’m starting to casually see (not sleeping with mind you) is very successful. But he’s not Bear. There isn’t that same spark. I logged back on the dating site I met bear last week, to get to know more guys and have fun meeting new people even if I’m still in love… I saw that Bear didn’t delete me from his contacts on the site where we first met, and was still single as well as online. Three days later he deletes me (so this was this monday). What does this mean? I’ve finished 45 days no contact but seeing him delete me from the dating site just crushes me… Does it mean he really doesn’t want to hear from me anymore and that my chances are dead? Should I still send him a text this week?
I’m afraid that he will continue to ghost me even if I send a first contact text. If he does ghost me again I was planning on sending him something like this «Listen I’ve always admired you but this is absurd. You’re acting like a baby by not answering. We work in the same domain so we’re bound to bump into each other again, so we could at least stay on good terms. Especially that I’m seeing a guy you know, I don’t want it to be awkward if we see each other with him. By ignoring me like you’re doing you’re shunning me worse than if I’d cheated on you, it’s disproportionate coming from a strong man. I’m sorry about what my friend did to you in the past I found out after and cut ties with her when i learnt about it. If there’s a way i can make it up to you tell me. Since you you were my first love at first sight, it’s the least i can do. »

Is this a good idea? Or not? If he doesn’t answer to my first contact text should I send him my second message confronting his ghosting? Because why would he answer my first contact? Is there any hope left with all the negative signs? He deleted me recently from the dating site, and has stayed silent all during no contact! Friends tell me to give up. But after all I’ve achieved for myself and manadging 45 days no contact I feel like I’d already gone so far and am so close to just ‘give up’ ! My feelings are still there.

Frost

September 20, 2016 at 1:54 pm

Hi Amor! (there’s no confirmation that my comment is posted so trying again… sorry if there are reposts)
I didn’t need to send the confrontational text in the end 🙂 he answered positively to my first contact message with a funny answer ! I did first contact message, a second one next day, no text 3rd day on Saturday, a funny one asking for advice on cooking 4rth day, funny one on something i saw on 5th day. I’ve been sending all my messages towards the same time during the evening, he’d answer almost immediately so I’m guessing it’s very positive 😀 ! Today on day six though I sent a third funny text again (as I’m not so sure memory text will work well since we haven’t had much dates, I already kinda inserted a memory on 4th day, saying that I’d try his recipe when i get the ingredients and in the meantime went to get something at a restaurant we both went to) but more like a knock knock jokes on a subject we both like rather than something funny that happened. I sent my joke in the afternoon rather than in the evening for once too, and… no answer :/ . Meh. I never re-send a message when i see that he doesn’t answer back. I also can’t get him to send more than two texts, even when I send a 3rd one to keep the conversation going to 4 texts like suggested on day 4… Even if he replied up to now almost immediately.
What should I do if I get no answer on days after “first contact” ? Should I leave a day or two where I don’t send anything? Also, even if he responds really quickly, is it bad if it doesn’t really go beyond 2 replies in a day ? Should I ask him how he’s doing in our conversations after engaging the discussions, or is that intruding in on him?
The thing is he’s kind of a bear. When he answers he does short messages and sometimes forgets to reply when he’s busy during the day. That’s just how he is, he’s not big on phone communication. While I talk a lot xD (I’m forcing myself to keep everything to 1-3 sentences max) . Since he thought I was “clingy/stalker-ish” wouldn’t it freak him out that I’m sending him a text every day? I’m afraid of overdoing it even if I stick to your game plan and send short messages, he might not want to talk to me every single day after 45 days of no contact… I’m afraid I’ll scare him off. I’m so happy to hear from him and talk again, but I’m afraid that he’ll find it strange since we’ve only dated a month.
I just bought the texting bible byt the way, will see if anything that applies to my case…
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 22, 2016 at 5:28 am

Hi Frost,

Yes, you need to rest for maybe 2-3 days now. At least you’ve gotten him to reply… I think you need to use a more conversational topic.. like anything that is current with the news, in his life, with friends that he’s interested in talking about.. or anything in his hobby, expertise
Frost

September 14, 2016 at 3:54 am

Also if it does work out any how by some sort of miracle, I no longer want a “husband material” or a “relationship” straight off. I’m sick of always taking relationships so seriously and putting so much pressure on me and the men I meet. I realized that about me during no contact. I wanted everything to be so perfect and was so afraid of being cheated on again I wanted commitment straight off and would be needy and a gnat. I Now I’m no longer afraid, now I just want to get to know him all over again and spend good times with him, as well as spend more time for myself alone because it makes me happy to still pursue all I’ve achieved. But I want him to be part of my life while doing so, even when i need alone time. So I’m not even sure of having any more time for a comitted relationship straight off, but I do still wish him in my life.
How to I get him to understand this?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 11:47 am

HI Frost,

did you send that text? Because if you haven’t, don’t send it. It’s confrontational. It sounds like you’re blaming him and that you’re still not over him, which translates to chasing him.. I think you should wait a litte more before sending him a text. And just be casual..

Connie K.

September 13, 2016 at 1:29 am

Help!!

Okay so I’ve been talking to this guy. He liked me. A lot. And i liked him a lot as well. So we met August 9. We started talking August 10. September 10 he broke my heart and said I was too clingy and that he did’t like me anymore. It was a month, but we spent hours and hours and hours on the phone talking every night until school started. We are both freshman. Our longest phone conversation was 8 hours. So we got really close. He broke up with his girlfriend a few days after he met me (I didn’t know about that), he told his cousin, his friends, and his dad about me. Then a few days ago he said he did’t like me because I was too clingy. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t contacted him since then (so far 2 days). What do I do because I really would like him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 3:31 pm

Hi Connie K,

do you want to try what’s advised above?

Jess

September 11, 2016 at 12:02 pm

i met a man about 6 months ago, he wasnt long out of a 2 year relationship, although everyone told me there relationship was over months before it ended so i wasnt TOO wary. we were extremely happy for 2 months – had an argument and he ended things saying it was ‘too much’ and that it wasnt fun anymore- despite HIM being the one who constantly wanted me around him and needed me to text him. i accepted this and went away for the weekend without my phone. i returned and found he had contacted me on every social media platform, been around looking for me and was desperate to talk. ultimately we forgot that weekend and went back to how we were before. add another 4 months of being in a perfect relationship bubble (despite the fact he may of got too complacent with me treating him nicely). we then had an argument (i am a planner and he is not, and doesnt understand why i can be uptight about this) and he left my house on bad terms. i dropped his clothes off at his house the next day along with a letter apologising for why i had been so passive aggressive and saying how we could fix the issue in future. 2 days later i texted him asking if we could sort things out to which he said he didnt know and that he needed a break. i left him alone for a couple of days, and then texted saying if we sorted things i think we should see eachother less as it was probably getting a bit much. he replied saying yes that will be better he just felt a bit trapped and asked what i was doing that night. i didnt recieve the text until the next day so i responded saying we should have the weekend to ourselves and then meet up the week after. he then ignored this and i heard from mutual friends he was saying he was enjoying the time on his own and was enjoying ‘the single life’ already. i was upset by this and proceeded to tell him i was done, blocking him off everything so he couldnt contact me. the mutual friend convinced me to unblock his number as she believed he ‘wanted to apologise for his actions’ we then had an argument and i told him he wasnt the person i thought he was and that he’d really hurt me. it then calmed down and became civil, i told him id like to say bye when i came to collect my things but he said this wasnt a good idea so he would leave them outside. i reblocked his number before waiting a week and texted him saying something lighthearted and friendly – but also to let him know i’d unblocked his number. but he read it and ignored it. what do i do from here? is there any point in trying to devise a plan or should i just give up and move on despite how amazing we were together?

Jess

September 13, 2016 at 3:30 pm

i also met his whole family and friends, we went on a 3 week holiday together, and had booked to go away next year and later this year, again all things i feel like someone not wanting a proper relationship would do!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 5:44 pm

Try no contact first. If you spent everyday together, then maybe it was too much for him and he just realized that.. Try to do at least 30 days.
Jess

September 13, 2016 at 3:26 pm

do i start NC or should i block his number and get on with moving on completely and give up?
Jess

September 13, 2016 at 3:26 pm

sorry to keep asking things – but just to clarify we spent every day together in that 6 month period (initiated by him) and stayed together every night. so i find it so hard to understand why he would be like this if he didnt want this sort of relationship!
Jess

September 13, 2016 at 3:23 pm

so what should i do from here? NC and try and get him back or block his number and move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2016 at 1:11 pm

Hi Jess,

it looks like he doesnt want a serious relationship right now, or he’s tired of conflicts because of his previous relationship

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