My Ex Stopped Talking To Me All Of A Sudden- What Does It Mean?

162 thoughts on “My Ex Stopped Talking To Me All Of A Sudden”

W

October 2, 2017 at 2:47 am

Hi. Im not quite sure whether is he distancing me or he just want me to get off from his life. As i mention in the other post, we kinda talk a lil after NC and he’s starting to open up a lil bit. But it got cold after that. And now he’s not even replying. He has a competition going on that time when he’s not replying so i assume that he dint want to think abt anything during his competition. I wished him luck and all he replied was ‘ okay, thanks ‘. I compliment him that he did great and all he replied was ‘ thanks ‘. and i replied with ‘ no problem ‘ , but he did not open the message until now. Before that i made a lucky charm kinda thing and asked my friend to pass it to him as i have to leave early that day during their competition. I thought he would say thanks, because it’s what he always do but unfortunately he dint. So our convo just ended at me saying ‘ no problem ‘ . Did i accidently scare or push him away by giving him the lucky charm ?What do you think abt it ? Should i double text him and say congrats ? What should i do ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 2, 2017 at 11:58 am

You have to use better topics, ones that are more interesting for him and it’s too early give gifts if you’re not building up rapport.. Focus and be more active in your life.. And in posting..in a way that when he sees your posts he would think you’re just being friendly because clearly, you have a more interesting life than him, which could help make him regret not having you

W

October 2, 2017 at 2:40 am

Hi. Im not quite sure whether is he distancing me or he just want me to get off from his life. As i mention in the other post, we kinda talk a lil after NC and he’s starting to open up a lil bit. But it got cold after that. And now he’s not even replying. He has a competition going on that time when he’s not replying so i assume that he dint want to think abt anything during his competition. I wished him luck and all he replied was ‘ okay, thanks ‘. I compliment him that he did great and all he replied was ‘ thanks ‘. and i replied with ‘ no problem ‘ , but he did not open the message until now. Before that i made a lucky charm kinda thing and asked my friend to pass it to him as i have to leave early that day during their competition. I thought he would say thanks, because it’s what he always do but unfortunately he dint. So our convo just ended at me saying ‘ no problem ‘ . What do you think abt it ? Should i double text him and say congrats ? What should i do ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 2, 2017 at 11:57 am

You have to use better topics, ones that are more interesting for him and it’s too early give gifts if you’re not building up rapport.. Focus and be more active in your life.. And in posting..in a way that when he sees your posts he would think you’re just being friendly because clearly, you have a more interesting life than him, which could help make him regret not having you

Anon

September 26, 2017 at 7:35 pm

Hi again…

We were very close to getting back together. Phone calls, several dates. He always asked to hang out/come over to see me and our daughter. She started saying “Dad!” He even watched her for me when I worked yesterday because my babysitter canceled. We would talk about good memories from our past and he told me several times that he loves me and never stopped thinking about me when we weren’t talking.

But he’s been trying to take control. He wants to be the”head of house ” already. I think he was thinking he wanted the stereotypical role of the father: mom and kids do whatever you say, etc. We got into an argument last night and the night before about me not letting him make decisions about our daughter. I talk to him about everything with her. And when he wants to do something I listen and we have always come to an agreement. But this time he wanted me to just listen and do what he wanted…but it’s only been like a month and he hasn’t been a solid presence in her life and I just thought he needed to show me that he was serious and stick around before I let go of some control.

anyway. He wanted to move her bed from my room to her playroom. We have discussed him moving into my house, getting married, and having more kids. He thought we were doing that immediately I guess? When I said “Oh I’m not ready to move her bed. It’s been just me and her for so long I don’t want to spring that on her so soon.” He got so upset! He said “I really want to move her bed. It will be good for her to have her own room, we’re doing it. Period.” I told him “We’re not doing it now. You don’t get to decide that.” I didn’t mean he would never get to make decisions, I just meant not now!! 🙁

So he told me if I wasn’t going to listen to take him to his mom’s (where he is staying temporarily) so I said Fine and loaded her in the car. He took forever but came out finally. When I pulled in his driveway he got out and said “Never call me again.” I said”Get out of my car.” Maybe I imagined it but it looked like I didn’t react the way he thought i would then he said “I mean it” and I just drove away. I dont know what to do? He was trying so hard. It was a little rocky a month ago but he was consistent this whole time after that.

I’m worried that I hurt him by not letting him be as involved with his daughter as he wanted…but I really didn’t think that he deserved as much as he was asking for yet.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 9:03 pm

honestly, it’s very hard but you really have to avoid getting angry and having arguments.. when he does get angry, let him be angry but don’t be the same as him..

Natasha

September 14, 2017 at 12:25 am

Hi, my boyfriend and I had a fight 5 days ago over the phone. He had been chasing me for a very long time and definitely appreciates me. He is always saying “You are not somebody I can just forget no matter what happens” and “You are so special” and “I’m so in love with you. What have you done to me?”. Since I hadn’t seen him in a week, I started a fight over him not being able to see me. Afterwards I went out anyway with a few friends and he kept calling me many times and I kept ignoring his calls. The next day he called and I started a fight with him, acting distant and angry and like I didn’t care about him. He also started acting that way and then said “there’s no loving you” after I said “I forget about you. I don’t think about you”. Then he said “I don’t love you”. Then my response was “I don’t love you”. He then hung up on me and said “Call me when you’ll be nlrmal”. I haven’t heard from him in 5 days. This is VERY out of character for him. I’m afraid he will never contact me again as he thinks I don’t love him anyway? Even though I feel like I should be mad as he hung up on me? I never call him first or message him first so maybe he thinks I really don’t care. I’m sounded very believable when I said I don’t think about you. What is the best thing to do next? Wait for him or call him and look vulnerable? I have no idea please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2017 at 7:51 pm

Hi Natasha,

Cool down for however long you need and communicate with him..better if you get couples counseling too..

Sonam

September 4, 2017 at 9:54 pm

Hi, I have been doing the EBR process, trying to get my ex boyfriend back. I went straight into NC for 34 days in mid January when we broke up. I never heard from my ex during this whole time (as expected lol). However, when I initiated after NC he responded positively and quickly. It has been a long 6 months of peaks and troughs but I thought we were finally getting somewhere until a few weeks ago.

We are LDR and we had met up in my home country in July, where he told me he was sorry, he missed me and even got an I love you. We shared a hotel room/bed and there was kissing and he held me all night (no sex), he left with us agreeing to meet up in NYC a few weeks later.

However, in those weeks before NYC he became unresponsive to messages, which was confusing/frustrating but he had been away for 6 months working on a cruise ship, so I thought i’d give him space to catch up with friends, family etc.
I initiated contact a week before I was due to arrive in NYC and he responded positively, offering to pick me up at the airport and even flirting.

When I got to NYC my flight was delayed and he had come to the airport but had to leave to get to an appointment, which he apologised profusely for. I was disappointed but I understood and it was no big deal. But he then didn’t message me or respond to messages I sent in the first few days of me being in NYC.

I was on;y going to be there for a week, so I just messaged him directly asking what was going on and why he was being so weird. He replied and said he was busy and that we would definitely be hanging out. A day later he messaged to say to meet him at a certain place in an hour, I didn’t want to be so available to him but I didn’t have the luxury of time and living in the same country, so I agreed to meet him.

When I saw him he hugged me tightly and kissed me as he greeted me. But told me he couldn’t stay long but would spend the whole of the next day with me. We had a great couple of hours together and he kissed me twice before having to leave and said he’d see me tomorrow.

The next morning he messaged saying he couldn’t come and was sorry. It sounded dubious, so I asked him why and that he should come see me once he had sorted out whatever issue he was having. He agreed and said he’d message me at lunchtime. He never messaged but posted up 6 pics to instagram at the time he said he’s message me. This made me angry and unfortunately I ended up angry text gnawing him. He knew he messed up and had nothing to say to excuse himself, so he stayed quiet, reading my messages but not responding like a coward.

The next day was going to be my final day in New York and i messaged him saying so. Asking if he could meet me. He continued to ignore and then had the audacity to be angry at me and saying not to text him. I messaged him explaining why I was angry and that he had been very disrespectful and then never messaged him again.

It has now been 2 weeks since any contact. so I guess it’s a mini NC. But my question is, how long is long enough for a mini NC in this situation and should I initiate contact again now? Obviously, I know I can’t bring up the “fight” but in a UG way?

I tried asking this question in the group but got no responses, so hopefully you can please advise me on how to continue

Sonam

September 13, 2017 at 1:38 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks for your reply and sorry for the delayed response.

No I didn’t just goto New York for him. However, it was him that suggested we hang out whilst I was there, when hw found out I was going to be in NYC when we were hanging out in London a few weeks before.

I didn’t demand any time from him. I told him I was coming, he offered to pick me up at the airport but then couldn’t. Then he told me we would hang out and didn’t get in touch again, so when it got to halfway through the week I was there for, I reached out asking if he still wanted to and he said yes but wouldn’t say when. Then last minute one lunchtime asked to meet me and whilst it goes against EBR to agree to last min ute plans, I thought due to circumstances, I would agree to meet. on meeting he told me he could only stay an hour but would come to my hotel early the next morning and we could spend the whole day together, to which I was like okay. But then he flaked again the next morning, at which point I got angry and told him that he was being disrespectful of my time and his excuses were lame and dubious and text gnatted.

I think I was justified in calling him out because whilst I am trying to get him back and love him etc, I won’t just sit back and allow disrespectful behaviour from him.

I reached out recently after 2 weeks NC and he has been receptive and responsive but we haven’t discussed what happened. It’s frustrating to keep moving forward and then right back again. I guess I have to keep playing the waiting game and keep control of my emotions but to be honest it’s taking it’s toll and really difficult to just keep pretending that I’m not bothered or not showing him when his behaviour is unacceptable.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 15, 2017 at 3:59 pm

Ah..the only thing you could have done was to leave earlier in the first sign that he was avoiding you while you were there than to wait for him to turn around and spent time with you, to regain power.. But this time, you have to let him initiate so, it doesn’t look like you’re chasing him and investing more than him.. By not spending time and effort to initiate talking to him, you’re showing that after what he did, you don’t have time for people who will not make an effort for you.. Set a limit on until when you would observe him..if he doesn’t initiate and make effort for you in your limit, move on..
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 8:33 pm

HI Sonam

did you go to nyc just for him? If yes, does he know that? Because honestly, you’re not together. I understand you wanted to see him, of course. But come from his point of view, you’re the one who’s trying to build rapport, not him. So, it looked like you kept demanding time from him and had nothing else to do in his hometown.

Meran

September 4, 2017 at 3:16 pm

Hi. I started contact after NC for 30 days. The third message and short conversation was me sending that remember the good times text. But all three times I have initiated the conversation by sending a text as you guys describe. The texts were spread out over the course of 2 weeks. He has responded positively to all. But, why then is he not trying to text me and initiating conversations? We ended the relationship on an ok note, and we had a great relationship. I have been active during NC, posting on fb, following your advice, etc. Is he just being polite, even seeing me as a friend? Why doesn’t he seems interested in talking unless I talk to him? I just don’t want him to pick on it and realize I’m into him and think I’m desperate to talk to him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 7:47 pm

Hi Meran,

are you ending it the conversations? are you ending them in cliffhanger? and using topics of his interests?

Confused

September 3, 2017 at 6:59 am

Can someone help me please.

My ex and I broke up in October and it’s been almost a year now and we slept together 4 times since because I was foolish. He says he still really cares about me but I don’t think he loves me but he told me he did one drink night in April.
In June he begged me to be friends and I told him no because one of us was going to start dating soon and I wasn’t ready to see him with anyone else but he messaged me as the weeks went by anyway and I gave in and replied a few times. I went travelling for 5 weeks so the last time I saw him was June and we slept together, now I’m back he messaged me to say that he’s seeing someone and he thought I already knew but I didn’t so he said he was glad he got to tell me first and thought I should know in case I see them around, he said it’s not an official relationship but he wants to give me a heads up – which I thought was nice of him but I freaked out and started asking questions about their relationship, I asked if it was serious and if that’s why he told me and he just said ummmmm we’ve been spending a lot of time together so I assume it’s just a sexual relationship but then he tried to change the subject and I kept asking so he stopped replying to my messages and I know the right thing for me to do is no contact maybe forever lol because now he won’t reply. Or try the being there method after not contact.

What do you think?

If it helps: My ex is 31 and I’m 23, we’re both language teachers and this new girl is 19 and one of his students – it actually kind of makes me sick bc I was her teacher last summer and from what I know about her is she just got out of a 4 year relationship and so I think my ex is her rebound.

Confused

September 4, 2017 at 9:49 pm

No we don’t work for the same company. I messaged him again today saying that i was happy for him and we had been getting on so well recently that I didn’t want this to change things and asked him if it does, and again he didn’t reply. I feel like a loser bc that’s 4 messages he hasn’t responded to so now I’m definitely doing NC!
Confused

September 3, 2017 at 9:11 pm

Hi Amor thanks for replying.
No we don’t work in the same place. She attended a summer camp last summer where I was and this July she attended an intensive language course and my ex was her teacher. Immediately after the course ended they started dating
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 3, 2017 at 9:01 pm

Hi COnfused,

do you work in the same place?

Izabel Perez

September 2, 2017 at 7:14 pm

Hey EBR team,
So my ex hasn’t stopped talking to me. He responds in a neutral/ friendly way (hot and cold). But the thing is, that he takes a long time to reply! I think that’s a sign of him ignoring me and putting me in the friendzone. We share like 1/2 messages per day (usually). What should I do? Is this a bad sign right? Need some help here.. Thank you

Izabel Perez

September 4, 2017 at 12:37 am

Hi Amor,
I am building rapport by talking about nice issues, future, even cute stuff!
I’m being super nice to him and he responds in a positive way most of times!
Although, he told me that we won’t get back together a few weeks ago.
I don’t know.. it’s just the time he takes to reply. We talk through internet not via message, it’s an habit of ours since always, and he’s not online often. He even told me that he doesn’t respond more often because he has not online acess.
Do you really think he’s not ignoring me? What can I do to improve things? Thanks you so much Amor!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 6:58 pm

use topics that are interesting for him.. that’s ok that you only talk online, the more important thing is if you’re still active in improving yourself and in posting. If he sees your posts, are they something attractive? Like if he sees you through your posts would he think you’re more beautiful and happier compared to before and would be interested in your activities, that it would make him regret not being with you?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 3, 2017 at 8:42 pm

not really friendzoned, because friendzoned means he’s friendly with you and that’s just it. In your case, it looks like you’re not building up rapport. What are the topics that you’re using?

Jasmine

September 2, 2017 at 3:00 pm

Hello,

This is a little off topic but my boyfriend and I are currently on a break. I had broken up with him and told me he just needed time to figure things out. We broke up because I felt like did not care anymore about me and I voiced how I was feelings numerous times in the relationship. Well last week I had finally had it and tried to end things. He told me he feels like he does not know himself anymore and that we both need to figure what direction we want to take with our lives whether thats together or apart. So we agreed on a break. We agreed to still respect our relationship but we did not set a time limit for this break.

We have been dating for nine months and in the last two months we started arguing a lot. Much of it was my fault. I was moody because of medication and somewhat insecure. I blew some things out of proportion. It’s only been four days of no contact and I am going insane. I already know how we can make our relationship better and want to discuss it but when we agreed on a break he said he needed legit time (usually our breaks have lasted two days, one of us always caves). But I don’t know when he is going to contact me. We live and go to the same university so I have seen him three times on campus in passing, once from a bit aways (he still saw me) and twice as he was skateboarding next to my car. He pretended as if I didn’t exist and put his head down and went on his phone.

One thing I’ve noticed is that he has been on his phone a lot. Specifically snapchat. When I post a story he always seems to view it within five to ten minutes. I know its bad that I’ve been stalking him but he’s been on twitter a lot as well liking many tweets (never tweeting).

I really don’t know what to do. Should I give him more time and let him come to me? What can I do specifically on a BREAK to make him miss me? I love him so much and i am willingly to work on my own personal flaws.

Jasmine

September 2, 2017 at 3:05 pm

Also to add, our main form of communicating was texting and we would text all day everyday when we were apart from eachother.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 4, 2017 at 7:42 pm

Hi Jasmine,

check this one:
How To Make It Through No Contact Period

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162 thoughts on “My Ex Stopped Talking To Me All Of A Sudden”