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Jem
February 9, 2016 at 12:04 am
Hello Chris and Amor!
I began dating someone last October and Unfortunately he broke it off last month in January. No doubt We both really liked each other and were definitely into one another. He told me over the phone that he’s not ready for a relationship, we were just too different,(loved the article on here about yin/yang and totally agree!) 80% of him thinks that this just won’t work but 20% of him thinks it will and this isn’t the story you tell your grandchildren…(lol, that one was my favorite). But then he said that he may regret this the rest of his life!
He ended his last relationship last February after his ex cheated on him with multiple people and then told him she never cared about him. So in all honesty he really isn’t ready, but from talking with others it sounds like he talked himself out of see me.
My mom was very honest with me and said she knew he really really liked me but he just wasn’t ready for another relationship yet. She said this before and after he ended things. My mom and my girl friend both agreed to give the guy some space and said they thought he would regret this. I put my big girl panties on and told him it was okay and that I understood. I asked if we could be friends and he answered with an absolute YES. We could call and hangout.
I broke NC when I asked for my things back. He was adement about me being home when he dropped them off then told me he was 90% sure ( what is it with these percentages!?) that he returned all of my things but some of mine may have gotten mixed with his…and no big deal if they did because he would get them back to me.
I’ve re-started NC, made a list of improvements I’m going to implement (was def too available before with him) and am starting to work on ME! 🙂
Also loved the article on introverts and extroverts. This guy is an extrovert and I’am an introvert. Many helpful things to read!!
Just wanted to know if either of you have heard of any women having success with your tools and program with men who are just not ready..?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 10:33 am
Hi Jem,
Yeah, I saw some comment back with that kind of situation that after focusing on himself the guy suddenly commits
Jem
February 9, 2016 at 12:04 am
Hello Chris and Amor!
I began dating someone last October and Unfortunately he broke it off last month in January. No doubt We both really liked each other and were definitely into one another. He told me over the phone that he’s not ready for a relationship, we were just too different,(loved the article on here about yin/yang and totally agree!) 80% of him thinks that this just won’t work but 20% of him thinks it will and this isn’t the story you tell your grandchildren…(lol, that one was my favorite). But then he said that he may regret this the rest of his life!
He ended his last relationship last February after his ex cheated on him with multiple people and then told him she never cared about him. So in all honesty he really isn’t ready, but from talking with others it sounds like he talked himself out of see me.
My mom was very honest with me and said she knew he really really liked me but he just wasn’t ready for another relationship yet. She said this before and after he ended things. My mom and my girl friend both agreed to give the guy some space and said they thought he would regret this. I put my big girl panties on and told him it was okay and that I understood. I asked if we could be friends and he answered with an absolute YES. We could call and hangout.
I broke NC when I asked for my things back. He was adement about me being home when he dropped them off then told me he was 90% sure ( what is it with these percentages!?) that he returned all of my things but some of mine may have gotten mixed with his…and no big deal if they did because he would get them back to me.
I’ve re-started NC, made a list of improvements I’m going to implement (was def too available before with him) and am starting to work on ME! 🙂
Also loved the article on introverts and extroverts. This guy is an extrovert and I’am an introvert. Many helpful things to read!!
Just wanted to know if either of you have heard of any women having success with your tools and program with men who are just not ready..?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 10:33 am
Hi Jem,
Yeah, I saw some comment back with that kind of situation that after focusing on himself the guy suddenly commits
Kate
February 8, 2016 at 11:06 am
Hi! I know you get lots of these messages of distrust and skepticism but I really need to get a reassurance. We broke up 4 months ago, he wouldn’t explain the exact reason, just something in terms of “I’m not ready”, “let’s slow down”. But the thing is that he wanted this relationship to happen and he was ready before – so I don’t think that’s the real reason. After the break up I incorporated a really foolish behavior (indeed, if only I knew about this website back then!). I waited for him to take me back, I waited for his texts and rare convos at work – so yeah, I was needy and I felt it was all my fault. After about 3 months of suffering I finally found strength to ask him what was going on, why would he lead me on like that without trying to get back together. From his words I understood that he was confused (too much on his plate at that moment) and didn’t really know whether he wanted me in his life or not.
I haven’t been in contact with him since then (about 7 weeks now), during that period he texted me a couple of times, every time My responses were cold and distant- I needed to figure out what I wanted.
So now I realized that I want him back but I’m unsure how to do it: last time he texted a month ago, but I’m gonna see him at work now that I’m back from vacation.
Is there a way to make us work again?
kate
February 11, 2016 at 5:17 pm
Should I text him or should I wait for other times when we run into each other?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 12, 2016 at 1:38 pm
wait first and see how acts around you. If he’s just shy, it can be good if you start, but if he seems angry, hold it b off
Kate
February 9, 2016 at 6:32 pm
Hey! So I ended up seeing him in a crowded place – our kitchen – but he wouldn’t look at me. I was smiling, confident when talking to other people but he acted as if we barely knew each other.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 7:08 am
Hi kate,
Your message was posted yesterday. Have you talked yet. One good starter is just to smile when you run to each other and then walk away.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 7:08 am
Hi kate,
Your message was posted yesterday. Have you talked yet. One good starter is just to smile when you run to each other and then walk away.
Kate
February 8, 2016 at 11:06 am
Hi! I know you get lots of these messages of distrust and skepticism but I really need to get a reassurance. We broke up 4 months ago, he wouldn’t explain the exact reason, just something in terms of “I’m not ready”, “let’s slow down”. But the thing is that he wanted this relationship to happen and he was ready before – so I don’t think that’s the real reason. After the break up I incorporated a really foolish behavior (indeed, if only I knew about this website back then!). I waited for him to take me back, I waited for his texts and rare convos at work – so yeah, I was needy and I felt it was all my fault. After about 3 months of suffering I finally found strength to ask him what was going on, why would he lead me on like that without trying to get back together. From his words I understood that he was confused (too much on his plate at that moment) and didn’t really know whether he wanted me in his life or not.
I haven’t been in contact with him since then (about 7 weeks now), during that period he texted me a couple of times, every time My responses were cold and distant- I needed to figure out what I wanted.
So now I realized that I want him back but I’m unsure how to do it: last time he texted a month ago, but I’m gonna see him at work now that I’m back from vacation.
Is there a way to make us work again?
Kate
February 9, 2016 at 6:32 pm
Hey! So I ended up seeing him in a crowded place – our kitchen – but he wouldn’t look at me. I was smiling, confident when talking to other people but he acted as if we barely knew each other.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 7:08 am
Hi kate,
Your message was posted yesterday. Have you talked yet. One good starter is just to smile when you run to each other and then walk away.
Aria
February 8, 2016 at 12:03 am
Is guess not really, I usually keep it going until it dies down but try to keep it as interesting as possible the whole way through. I also have a hard time only sending 2 messages the 1st day and then 2 the next etc. we usually send each other 10 or more massages a day when we actualy have a convo…
But would that drastically increase the chances of him contacting me if I just randomly cut a conversation short? Wouldn’t he get fustrated if I did this over and over again? (Sorry if this sounds daft)
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 9:48 am
That’s the reason why you’re having a hard time finding new topics, because you’ve put all of it in one convo. It’s not actually just cutting it short out of the blue because that would be rude. It’s ending the convo before it gets boring.
For example, if he likes cars, and you saw a car show that has free pass and the opportunity for a free test drive for the attendees. You mention you saw the ad,that there’s free admission car show with fantastic cars and then you talk about the cars you saw in the ad, you ask about some of it but then he asks where the event is, so you say,
“actually, I forgot to look at that and I’m also walking right now to the train about to get in, so, I’ll get back with you about that but in case I forget, feel free to remind me anytime.”
There, you just ended the convo in high not because he’s probably going to want the last info, without being rude..
Aria
February 8, 2016 at 12:03 am
Is guess not really, I usually keep it going until it dies down but try to keep it as interesting as possible the whole way through. I also have a hard time only sending 2 messages the 1st day and then 2 the next etc. we usually send each other 10 or more massages a day when we actualy have a convo…
But would that drastically increase the chances of him contacting me if I just randomly cut a conversation short? Wouldn’t he get fustrated if I did this over and over again? (Sorry if this sounds daft)
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 9:48 am
That’s the reason why you’re having a hard time finding new topics, because you’ve put all of it in one convo. It’s not actually just cutting it short out of the blue because that would be rude. It’s ending the convo before it gets boring.
For example, if he likes cars, and you saw a car show that has free pass and the opportunity for a free test drive for the attendees. You mention you saw the ad,that there’s free admission car show with fantastic cars and then you talk about the cars you saw in the ad, you ask about some of it but then he asks where the event is, so you say,
“actually, I forgot to look at that and I’m also walking right now to the train about to get in, so, I’ll get back with you about that but in case I forget, feel free to remind me anytime.”
There, you just ended the convo in high not because he’s probably going to want the last info, without being rude..
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 6:09 pm
Hi Aria,
are you ending your convos in high note?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 6:09 pm
Hi Aria,
are you ending your convos in high note?
Mimi
February 6, 2016 at 9:56 pm
Hey Chris! So I’m currently in a sticky situation with my ex long distance lover. He said he didnt see me as someone that he wanted as a girlfriend and(which i now can understand, i was admittedly very clingy and kinda eliminated the “chase” element to the relationship. Plus, I had my fair share of problems going on (wasnt doing well in college and didnt have many friends/ hobbies). He would say he liked me but also he wanted to be just friends and It really sucked because we had pretty great chemistry together. He was my ideal guy.
He led me on though at times and sent lots of mixed signals. I had an emotional breakdown a few weeks ago and I called him and I ended up confessing that I really wanted to be his girlfriend and that I felt used at times. We talked It out and the phone call ended on good terms but then…. he started ignoring me. He texted me saying he wasnt mad at me but that he really didnt need that right now because he was behind in school and was stressed w/ a lot of things going on his life. I said fine and said that Id speak to him when we both got our lives together.
I’ve been in No contact for about 19 days now. He has not called at all and I’m kinda hurt because I was truly in love with him. I’m currently going to thereapy to deal with my terrible self confidence, joining student orginazations to become more social, working out, looking for jobs, and working on my grades.
My question to you is “Is it possible to get him back even though he was technically never mine? Do I have a chance?” I still really really love him
Mimi
February 11, 2016 at 5:20 pm
thanks so much Amor!
Mimi
February 10, 2016 at 10:59 pm
I thought about doing that but while we were sortof together sortof not so to speak, we both deleted our accounts and were only seeing each other. He said he would be jealous if i was dating other guys (which is why I say he was leading me on at times) So how would I go about reopening communication? Just text him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 11, 2016 at 12:03 pm
Yup, you can follow some of Chris’ suggestions here to help you out. Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Mimi
February 9, 2016 at 4:17 pm
OKC is Okcupid. Since We dont have any real social media and stuff, how should I go about rebuilding the attraction?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 1:12 pm
hmmm..that means,he might check your profile there, maybe you can update that.. even just your photo and recent activities..you don’t have to tell you’re looking and available..
Mimi
February 8, 2016 at 11:24 pm
Also, One more question. Did I make a mistake by telling him that I’d talk to him when we get our selves together? Should I have just like disappeared from his life suddenly?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 10:26 am
No you didn’t that’s fine..
Mimi
February 8, 2016 at 4:23 pm
We met on okc and we maintained contact via skype and phonecalls and texting
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 8:30 am
Sorry mimi, I don’t know what’s an okc. What is it?
Mimi
February 7, 2016 at 7:20 pm
Hey Amor! Thanks for responding. Any tips on how to do that? He and I both dont use social media like facebook or twitter at all so I’m not sure what other steps I should take
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 5:54 am
well, you have to start with improving your physical looks, but basically you really have to start on being more confident. Get your self esteem back.If you don’t use social media, how did you meet and how did you maintain long distance communication.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 4:14 pm
HI Mimi,
Yeah, it’s a matter of getting the attraction back.
Mimi
February 6, 2016 at 9:56 pm
Hey Chris! So I’m currently in a sticky situation with my ex long distance lover. He said he didnt see me as someone that he wanted as a girlfriend and(which i now can understand, i was admittedly very clingy and kinda eliminated the “chase” element to the relationship. Plus, I had my fair share of problems going on (wasnt doing well in college and didnt have many friends/ hobbies). He would say he liked me but also he wanted to be just friends and It really sucked because we had pretty great chemistry together. He was my ideal guy.
He led me on though at times and sent lots of mixed signals. I had an emotional breakdown a few weeks ago and I called him and I ended up confessing that I really wanted to be his girlfriend and that I felt used at times. We talked It out and the phone call ended on good terms but then…. he started ignoring me. He texted me saying he wasnt mad at me but that he really didnt need that right now because he was behind in school and was stressed w/ a lot of things going on his life. I said fine and said that Id speak to him when we both got our lives together.
I’ve been in No contact for about 19 days now. He has not called at all and I’m kinda hurt because I was truly in love with him. I’m currently going to thereapy to deal with my terrible self confidence, joining student orginazations to become more social, working out, looking for jobs, and working on my grades.
My question to you is “Is it possible to get him back even though he was technically never mine? Do I have a chance?” I still really really love him
Mimi
February 10, 2016 at 10:59 pm
I thought about doing that but while we were sortof together sortof not so to speak, we both deleted our accounts and were only seeing each other. He said he would be jealous if i was dating other guys (which is why I say he was leading me on at times) So how would I go about reopening communication? Just text him?
Mimi
February 9, 2016 at 4:17 pm
OKC is Okcupid. Since We dont have any real social media and stuff, how should I go about rebuilding the attraction?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 1:12 pm
hmmm..that means,he might check your profile there, maybe you can update that.. even just your photo and recent activities..you don’t have to tell you’re looking and available..
Mimi
February 8, 2016 at 11:24 pm
Also, One more question. Did I make a mistake by telling him that I’d talk to him when we get our selves together? Should I have just like disappeared from his life suddenly?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 10:26 am
No you didn’t that’s fine..
Mimi
February 8, 2016 at 4:23 pm
We met on okc and we maintained contact via skype and phonecalls and texting
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 8:30 am
Sorry mimi, I don’t know what’s an okc. What is it?
Mimi
February 7, 2016 at 7:20 pm
Hey Amor! Thanks for responding. Any tips on how to do that? He and I both dont use social media like facebook or twitter at all so I’m not sure what other steps I should take
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 5:54 am
well, you have to start with improving your physical looks, but basically you really have to start on being more confident. Get your self esteem back.If you don’t use social media, how did you meet and how did you maintain long distance communication.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 4:14 pm
HI Mimi,
Yeah, it’s a matter of getting the attraction back.
Marianne
February 5, 2016 at 9:45 pm
Hi Chris and Amor,
My case might be a lost cause. I was dating this guy for 3 weeks and things seemed to be going well, we had awesome talks, wanted the same things in life, had lots of things in common. We would see each other every 2/3 days, our dates were sometimes full days together, we didn’t spend more than 24 hours without texting or calling each other. He initiated contact most of the time. He would ask for a goodnight kiss, or a “have a nice day kiss” before we would part in the morning.
And then he didn’t text or call for 3 days. When he finally called, he told me he had been thinking and he didn’t have real feelings for me. He was sweet about it. He told me (but nicely) that the reason was my body. I’m a little overweight and he wasn’t attracted to me. Despite having felt an amazing connection it wasn’t working out for him. I of course am really into him (hence why I’m here!) and think we would have a great relationship together. What he doesn’t know if I’ve been going to the gym and eating healthy and all since before we met. I’m determined to get fit! When he broke up I didn’t tell him that cause that would have been begging for him to take me and trust I would be more desirable in the future. It probably wouldn’t have worked, right?
Anyway he said he wanted to stay friends (of course!) and I didn’t really want to… I accepted the breakup and his reason pretty well even though it hurt. 3 days later he called, twice, and left a voicemail message saying he wanted to meetup (implied as friends). I ignored him and think I’m gonna do NC while I keep working hard on getting more fit, and get back in touch in like a month (which is necessary to make a big enough physical change for him to feel attracted to the “new me”). But since we didn’t date for long (but it was pretty intense) I’m afraid he’s just gonna move on. We never fought, we were really good together. I want to believe there’s a chance that when he seems the new me, he’s gonna think “OMG she looks good now, I want her back!”. What do you think?
PS: I know I should probably just move on to a guy who accepts me the way I am, but I just can’t right now. I’m not even angry at him for it, I know guys are visual and being physically attracted is important to them. If I were him I would probably want a fit girlfriend as well.
PS2: obviously if he was attracted to me in the first place and dated me for 3 weeks (we did get intimate), I’m not “that ugly” to him…
Thanks for your help!!
Marianne
February 7, 2016 at 3:41 pm
Thanks for the support Amor!
I think he got a case of the grass is greener syndrome so by improving my looks I should be able to make him reevaluate my worth. Since it was a short thing and we didn’t commit or anything, I just hope he doesn’t find some other girl during NC and thinks “yeah she looks really good now but I moved on”…
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 12:22 pm
Hi Marianne,
Sighs, I don’t know what to say because yeah, men are visual but most of the time when a woman becomes complacent with her appearance, she’s had also let go of her self value in other ways, losing the whole package that the guy fell for in the first place. It’s not just about looks. It matters at first, but that shouldn’t be the reason for him to love you because that’s not love. Anyways, if that’s his reason for the breakup that would be easy for you to attract him back. 😉 You go girl! Make him drool! hahaha
Marianne
February 5, 2016 at 9:45 pm
Hi Chris and Amor,
My case might be a lost cause. I was dating this guy for 3 weeks and things seemed to be going well, we had awesome talks, wanted the same things in life, had lots of things in common. We would see each other every 2/3 days, our dates were sometimes full days together, we didn’t spend more than 24 hours without texting or calling each other. He initiated contact most of the time. He would ask for a goodnight kiss, or a “have a nice day kiss” before we would part in the morning.
And then he didn’t text or call for 3 days. When he finally called, he told me he had been thinking and he didn’t have real feelings for me. He was sweet about it. He told me (but nicely) that the reason was my body. I’m a little overweight and he wasn’t attracted to me. Despite having felt an amazing connection it wasn’t working out for him. I of course am really into him (hence why I’m here!) and think we would have a great relationship together. What he doesn’t know if I’ve been going to the gym and eating healthy and all since before we met. I’m determined to get fit! When he broke up I didn’t tell him that cause that would have been begging for him to take me and trust I would be more desirable in the future. It probably wouldn’t have worked, right?
Anyway he said he wanted to stay friends (of course!) and I didn’t really want to… I accepted the breakup and his reason pretty well even though it hurt. 3 days later he called, twice, and left a voicemail message saying he wanted to meetup (implied as friends). I ignored him and think I’m gonna do NC while I keep working hard on getting more fit, and get back in touch in like a month (which is necessary to make a big enough physical change for him to feel attracted to the “new me”). But since we didn’t date for long (but it was pretty intense) I’m afraid he’s just gonna move on. We never fought, we were really good together. I want to believe there’s a chance that when he seems the new me, he’s gonna think “OMG she looks good now, I want her back!”. What do you think?
PS: I know I should probably just move on to a guy who accepts me the way I am, but I just can’t right now. I’m not even angry at him for it, I know guys are visual and being physically attracted is important to them. If I were him I would probably want a fit girlfriend as well.
PS2: obviously if he was attracted to me in the first place and dated me for 3 weeks (we did get intimate), I’m not “that ugly” to him…
Thanks for your help!!
Marianne
February 7, 2016 at 3:41 pm
Thanks for the support Amor!
I think he got a case of the grass is greener syndrome so by improving my looks I should be able to make him reevaluate my worth. Since it was a short thing and we didn’t commit or anything, I just hope he doesn’t find some other girl during NC and thinks “yeah she looks really good now but I moved on”…
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 12:22 pm
Hi Marianne,
Sighs, I don’t know what to say because yeah, men are visual but most of the time when a woman becomes complacent with her appearance, she’s had also let go of her self value in other ways, losing the whole package that the guy fell for in the first place. It’s not just about looks. It matters at first, but that shouldn’t be the reason for him to love you because that’s not love. Anyways, if that’s his reason for the breakup that would be easy for you to attract him back. 😉 You go girl! Make him drool! hahaha
Olivia
February 5, 2016 at 5:17 pm
Hello! My boyfriend and I broke up because I was relocated in the company I work at to a branch across the country. This caused a lot of stress in our relationship. We didn’t want to enter into a long distance relationship because it was unclear at the time I moved if my career would allow me to move back. I have been really hurt since the breakup even though it was the responsible thing to do. I have not been contactacting him (except for the very beginning- he would respond and keep conversations going) but have found that I am starting to think very negatively about our relationship as a means to ensure I won’t contact him and to distance myself from the situation. He is also not contacting me lately, which bothers me. He is clearly trying to move on.
It just so happens a fantastic position has opened at the branch in his city. It is a great career move. Not sure how I should approach the ex or what to expect if I take the job. Any thoughts??
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 11:33 am
Hi Olivia,
If you decide to move back. Then take it as a fresh start for everything, including the both of you. Take it slow. Don’t push it. Morely likely if he sees, that you’re approachable but not in a rush to get back to get back together, that could make him initiate.
Olivia
February 5, 2016 at 5:17 pm
Hello! My boyfriend and I broke up because I was relocated in the company I work at to a branch across the country. This caused a lot of stress in our relationship. We didn’t want to enter into a long distance relationship because it was unclear at the time I moved if my career would allow me to move back. I have been really hurt since the breakup even though it was the responsible thing to do. I have not been contactacting him (except for the very beginning- he would respond and keep conversations going) but have found that I am starting to think very negatively about our relationship as a means to ensure I won’t contact him and to distance myself from the situation. He is also not contacting me lately, which bothers me. He is clearly trying to move on.
It just so happens a fantastic position has opened at the branch in his city. It is a great career move. Not sure how I should approach the ex or what to expect if I take the job. Any thoughts??
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 11:33 am
Hi Olivia,
If you decide to move back. Then take it as a fresh start for everything, including the both of you. Take it slow. Don’t push it. Morely likely if he sees, that you’re approachable but not in a rush to get back to get back together, that could make him initiate.
KJ
February 5, 2016 at 7:01 am
My boyfriend of four months broke up with me about a week ago. We had a really good relationship until he realized that he started dating me way too soon after his last break up. He says that he cares the world for me and everyone including his parents confirm that. The problem was that he needed to figure out his life first. He said whenever he was ready for a relationship, he’d keep me in mind. I love him to death and he supposedly still cares about me, but he won’t talk to me and I finally gave up and gave his stuff back to his mom who kept reminding me how much I meant to him. He still checks my social media constantly and he posts things here and there (which is really not his norm). I just want him back…Is there a chance I can get him back or make him miss me?
KJ
February 5, 2016 at 7:52 pm
Hi Amor,
I just started the NC.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 11:50 am
Okay! Make it active Kj 🙂 Though I can’t guarantee he will come back after that but he will certainly miss you and make him miss you more by letting him see your improvements. 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 10:46 am
Hi Kj
are you doing nc now?
KJ
February 5, 2016 at 7:01 am
My boyfriend of four months broke up with me about a week ago. We had a really good relationship until he realized that he started dating me way too soon after his last break up. He says that he cares the world for me and everyone including his parents confirm that. The problem was that he needed to figure out his life first. He said whenever he was ready for a relationship, he’d keep me in mind. I love him to death and he supposedly still cares about me, but he won’t talk to me and I finally gave up and gave his stuff back to his mom who kept reminding me how much I meant to him. He still checks my social media constantly and he posts things here and there (which is really not his norm). I just want him back…Is there a chance I can get him back or make him miss me?
KJ
February 5, 2016 at 7:52 pm
Hi Amor,
I just started the NC.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 11:50 am
Okay! Make it active Kj 🙂 Though I can’t guarantee he will come back after that but he will certainly miss you and make him miss you more by letting him see your improvements. 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 10:46 am
Hi Kj
are you doing nc now?
Melanie
February 4, 2016 at 4:56 am
My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago after being together for about a year. We had been fighting and didn’t have clear communication in the end so he thought it wasn’t worth the fighting anymore. We didn’t really have an NC period but we didn’t talk every day or week. About a month after the breakup I told him that it was too painful to be apart and stay in contact and he said that this wasn’t goodbye and that he’d always love me. As time went on we spoke less frequently and he stopped initiating texts. I know he had gone out on dates/had some fun/talked to other girls the last couple of months but now we have been in contact more frequently texting over a show we both like and snapchatting daily (we’ve met up twice and got along great). I think the time has given me the opportunity to grow and understand the issues we had and move past them but I feel as though he believes that too much damage was done to give me another chance. I don’t want to fool myself into thinking I have a shot but when he does hang out/ talk to me I feel like things fall into place and I don’t want to push him away, what do I do?
Melanie
February 15, 2016 at 6:59 pm
Hi Amor,
We’ve texted here and there (it’s me starting conversations). But of course after valentines day I notice all the remaing pictures of me on instagram have now been taken down. Is it time to move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 16, 2016 at 8:17 am
yeah, it’s the safe way.. you can still try to text him later on but at least you’re energy is focused on moving forward
Melanie
February 6, 2016 at 11:47 pm
So would this mean a mini NC period or continuing contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 4:47 pm
continue contact but be interesting, it’s like you’re in the texting phase now.
Melanie
February 6, 2016 at 2:57 am
It seems as though every time I move a step forward he’ll sort of put a guard up or stop answering when things go well. I understand he wants to be friends and stay in touch but I don’t know how to bypass that wall that gets put up. I’ve read a ton of this websites info and have applied a lot of it within the last 6 months, I feel like Im at a dead end.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 3:33 pm
Actually, it’s like he just wants to be friends and like what you said, when he sees you’re making a step towards being more than that he pulls back.
Most of the time, in a boy-girl friendship, when the girl becomes attractive or more attractive but not attracted to the guy, the guy then sees her as the ungettable girl and then he pursues her. So, it’s going to be hard because we know you have feelings for him but basically, if you want him to see you in a different light, you have to take the chance of attracting him but not grabbing his arms towards you as well.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 4:51 am
Hi Melanie,
It’s like you already did no contact and first contact, what you need to do is build the attraction
Melanie
February 4, 2016 at 5:07 am
also just fyi, half the time we were long distance so I went away to school after the break up so it was easier not to run into each other
Melanie
February 4, 2016 at 4:56 am
My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago after being together for about a year. We had been fighting and didn’t have clear communication in the end so he thought it wasn’t worth the fighting anymore. We didn’t really have an NC period but we didn’t talk every day or week. About a month after the breakup I told him that it was too painful to be apart and stay in contact and he said that this wasn’t goodbye and that he’d always love me. As time went on we spoke less frequently and he stopped initiating texts. I know he had gone out on dates/had some fun/talked to other girls the last couple of months but now we have been in contact more frequently texting over a show we both like and snapchatting daily (we’ve met up twice and got along great). I think the time has given me the opportunity to grow and understand the issues we had and move past them but I feel as though he believes that too much damage was done to give me another chance. I don’t want to fool myself into thinking I have a shot but when he does hang out/ talk to me I feel like things fall into place and I don’t want to push him away, what do I do?
Melanie
February 15, 2016 at 6:59 pm
Hi Amor,
We’ve texted here and there (it’s me starting conversations). But of course after valentines day I notice all the remaing pictures of me on instagram have now been taken down. Is it time to move on?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 16, 2016 at 8:17 am
yeah, it’s the safe way.. you can still try to text him later on but at least you’re energy is focused on moving forward
Melanie
February 6, 2016 at 11:47 pm
So would this mean a mini NC period or continuing contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 4:47 pm
continue contact but be interesting, it’s like you’re in the texting phase now.
Melanie
February 6, 2016 at 2:57 am
It seems as though every time I move a step forward he’ll sort of put a guard up or stop answering when things go well. I understand he wants to be friends and stay in touch but I don’t know how to bypass that wall that gets put up. I’ve read a ton of this websites info and have applied a lot of it within the last 6 months, I feel like Im at a dead end.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 3:33 pm
Actually, it’s like he just wants to be friends and like what you said, when he sees you’re making a step towards being more than that he pulls back.
Most of the time, in a boy-girl friendship, when the girl becomes attractive or more attractive but not attracted to the guy, the guy then sees her as the ungettable girl and then he pursues her. So, it’s going to be hard because we know you have feelings for him but basically, if you want him to see you in a different light, you have to take the chance of attracting him but not grabbing his arms towards you as well.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 4:51 am
Hi Melanie,
It’s like you already did no contact and first contact, what you need to do is build the attraction
Melanie
February 4, 2016 at 5:07 am
also just fyi, half the time we were long distance so I went away to school after the break up so it was easier not to run into each other
Kendal
February 1, 2016 at 8:08 pm
Honestly, I’m beginning to think that it’s impossible to get my ex back. We had been friends for several years and then dated for seventh months when he started ignoring my texts, which frustrated me. He had recently got a new job after looking for a little over a month; I knew his schedule so I knew when I would and would not get a response. We ended up getting into a fight about him ignoring me through texts and a week later he broke up with me citing he needed to figure out where he was going with life and saying we should just go back to being friends. I went straight into 30 day NC and manged to complete it. Though I really wish he had been there for my graduation. I accidentally messed up first contact because I didn’t think he would text back that quickly. I managed to have a text conversation with him a few days later and it was nice. But what really has me upset is that he contacted me on my birthday to tell me about a game we both play but didn’t bother to wish me ‘happy birthday’ but he could wish one of our mutual female friend ‘happy birthday’. I’ve tried to have a conversation with him several times but it’s been really difficult because we get a few texts in and he won’t respond. I usually have a lot of patience but it’s wearing thin and I just don’t know what to do any more.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 10:14 am
Maybe he wasn’t that comfortable to greet you and thatbwas he’s way of trying. If he’s really not responding, you’ll know it when it’s time to move on.
Kendal
February 1, 2016 at 8:08 pm
Honestly, I’m beginning to think that it’s impossible to get my ex back. We had been friends for several years and then dated for seventh months when he started ignoring my texts, which frustrated me. He had recently got a new job after looking for a little over a month; I knew his schedule so I knew when I would and would not get a response. We ended up getting into a fight about him ignoring me through texts and a week later he broke up with me citing he needed to figure out where he was going with life and saying we should just go back to being friends. I went straight into 30 day NC and manged to complete it. Though I really wish he had been there for my graduation. I accidentally messed up first contact because I didn’t think he would text back that quickly. I managed to have a text conversation with him a few days later and it was nice. But what really has me upset is that he contacted me on my birthday to tell me about a game we both play but didn’t bother to wish me ‘happy birthday’ but he could wish one of our mutual female friend ‘happy birthday’. I’ve tried to have a conversation with him several times but it’s been really difficult because we get a few texts in and he won’t respond. I usually have a lot of patience but it’s wearing thin and I just don’t know what to do any more.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 10:14 am
Maybe he wasn’t that comfortable to greet you and thatbwas he’s way of trying. If he’s really not responding, you’ll know it when it’s time to move on.