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Ellie
February 8, 2016 at 4:25 pm
My boyfriend and I had been together a little over 4 years. We are both in our early 20s and had been making plans for when we graduate college in a few months. We were planning on moving in together and neither of us had any doubts about it. 2 1/2 weeks ago my boyfriend ended the relationship. There was no fight or warning signs, I was not expecting it at all. He told me he only wanted it to be for right now not forever. So I am holding on to the hope of things working out! We talked a few times the first week after breaking up. Now he has been hanging out with a new girl and says they are “just friends”. And we haven’t been broken up but just a couple weeks. He is also going out and partying with friends almost every night. I really want to work things out with him and fix things. Especially after spending 4 years together. I just don’t know what to do!
Ellie
February 9, 2016 at 1:40 pm
I started no contact yesterday. I am just having a hard time because he left things so open ended. He asks like he wants to get back together just not right now. I just worry about him moving on during no contact.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2016 at 12:53 pm
Nc is too short to be the reason of him moving on,if he does that would mean he has moved on eay before nc and he just kept you hanging.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 8:35 am
Hi Ellie,
I think you should do nc now. He’s enjoying his life and left you hanging. That’s unfair.
Amelia
February 8, 2016 at 2:34 pm
Me and my boyfriend broke up a few days ago after him not telling me he was going on holiday with his friends. We had only been together for a few months but I have known him and always had something there with him since High School. The next day I text him saying that I shouldn’t have said things the way I did but I stand by what I say, but had no reply so I rang him. He definitely didn’t want to talk and was really rude to me on the phone, we haven’t spoke properly since. I went out at the weekend and thought it was a good idea to ring him whilst drunk with my friend, which is actually one of his best friends, but he didn’t reply. As we’re from the same friendship group and share the same friends, I text him the next day saying that it wasn’t me that it was actually our friend who rang and he replied saying its fine.
He is pretty stubborn and I know he definitely won’t get in contact with me first and I’m starting to think he doesn’t miss me. I don’t know whether to try NC or if it doesn’t apply for this situation.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 7:52 am
Hi Amelia,
It’s too early to say he won’t miss you but, more likely he will. And also, it’s you become a text and call gnat. Definitely do nc, before you follow up with more texts and calls and then end up being blocked.
Emma
February 7, 2016 at 3:48 pm
Hey,
So after 2 years, (out of which about 3 months was long distance) my boyfriend broke up with me. Our relationship started having a really bad dynamic, we would constantly argue because I did not feel loved enough and he felt suffocated. He told me he still cares about me a lot and loves me but doesn’t love me that way any more, which was really confusing. He said he needed some time away from me to figure out what he wants in life. After a bit of talking I asked him if he still hopes to be together after he finds himself and he said yes, so we decided to take a break instead of completely breaking up.
At the beginning we still communicated every day saying good morning and good night, but then I realized that it still feels to me like a relationship and so we decided to not write good morning/night but to talk occasionally like friends do. For the next two days I initiated the conversations and then yesterday I decided it shouldn’t be one-sided so I waited for him to write something but he never did. So yesterday was the first day we haven’t talked at all for the past two years and it’s been really hard on me.
I know I shouldn’t write to him but I also don’t know if I should still hope to be together because he doesn’t seem like he even wants to communicate, which makes me very sad considering we used to be best friends and tell each other everything.
I already wrote to him about a week ago that I’m scared I’m losing my friend more than anything and he said that I’m right and he’s sorry and he’ll write more. But then he didn’t write anything yesterday. I know I should give him space but I feel like maybe this space is going to be permanent from now on and I don’t know what to do because that is definitely not what I want…
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 6:29 pm
Hi Emma,
Nothing is permanent, What do you plan on doing next?
Chloe
February 7, 2016 at 3:43 am
I really care about my ex, I’m working on the no contact rule and my goal is two weeks (and I’m on day two).
What do I do if his birthday is coming up? Send him a happy birthday text? More?
I’ll mention that he’s already been texting me quite a bit since we broke up, and he’s mentioned he misses me and it’s very difficult not to give in but I have better self control than I thought I had
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 4:51 pm
Hi Chloe,
If you want more than just saying happy birthday, just make sure it’s a message that he doesn’t have to reply to. That it won’t strike a convo.
Claudia
February 6, 2016 at 8:06 pm
Hi,
After two years in a distance relationship, I have finally decided to break-up. Key reasons for this:
– My ex was never a good on-a-distance communicator i.e. he hated phone or Skype conversations. In these two years he indeed made quite a lot of progress i.e. from disappearing, then to not disappearing but calling once in two weeks (texting once per day), to calling once per 3 to 4 days for a quick chat – YET I feel this progress is not enough after two years, I need to have meaningful conversations. Sometimes he goes out for a full weekend and has no time to call me (and I think no need).
-He had big number of women and he was cheating on his gf before. It took me long to build a trust with him, he numerously told me he loves me and he would never cheat – YET sometimes his theories on men and women (relationships) make be feel undervalued, threatened that he can indeed cheat and I feel not appreciated. This makes me very not confident, despite being loyal, loving, caring, quite successful and good looking woman. I started doubting myself since he never praises me, he tells me I am naive and all men are prone to cheat if they can or they can indeed leave if they find a better choice i.e. man sticks with the best choice he can get, men are driven by sex, etc etc Then he states its not related to me, but obviously the trust issue kicks in.
– He proposed to me (after I made an ultimatum, he thought about it for a month without any contact) in order for me to move to were he lives. Why I needed proposal? Well, because I am scared to move and because I wanted to see how serious he is (he always says if I move he wants it to work out, but he is not sure as we never lived together). I have a very good job that I will lose, my family and friends (so its indeed a tough decision) and I did agree to try and move as soon as possible – YET my applications are rejected (since its not english speaking country) I was turned down at an interview and I do not feel his support. It seems like he is comfortable the way things are, he does not want to leave his country and think of a plan B if my moving does not work out. He avoids discussing and drafting plan B. I would just wish for him to be more supportive and show that he is trying in this department too.
At the end of the day, I know how much he changed for me, when we are together we are having a great time, I met his family, friends and I think we are good together and I do indeed love him. I usually feel he loves me too. However, I believe he does much less for me that I hope from him (he acts quite egoistic often) and his change process is very slow. Some things (like three above) are core and I just can’t be with him if they do not change…..
I threatened him to leave many times (I know this is stupid and I lose my power by doing this)… and always he convinced me to stay or I came back myself. This time he is not contacting me at all and I do not intend to contact him either.
What do you think is the best scenario for me? sos
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 3:16 pm
Hi Claudia,
You said you just can’t be with him if his core doesn’t change. I think that’s what’s more important here. Because, it’s natural that you’re going to miss him and then there’s a chance of you getting back together but I think it’s better that you don’t if you can’t bear with him being like that. Though, honestly, I don’t agree with his beliefs as well. If I was in your position, and as soon as I discover those core beliefs of him, I would run away.
So, if ever he really changes, that’s good. But these are things that you can’t control, so for the mean time. You have to decide of whether to do NC to build self esteem and then after that, if you decide to reconnect, observe if he has changed. If he has and he wants to try again, be sure than when he shows that he’s going back to the old him, you set your boundaries. Because once he knows you’re back, that is the only time you’ll know if he really changed.
emma
February 6, 2016 at 6:40 pm
OKay my boyfriend at the time and I had been dating for 4 months and they were amazing. We were really happy we had no problems and never argued. It was a short time comparing to most but I got really attached to him and I thought the feelings were mutual because he said so…we basically wanted the same things. Now 6 days ago I get a text from him saying Im sorry I just started thinking and I am not ready for a committed relationship. It felt like I was taking a bullet, where the hell did that even come from?? Now the worst part is I am an absolute mess, crying, not leaving the house just miserable while hes carrying on like nothing is bothering him. I saw him two days He said he wanted to see me too, but I mean again bad idea because I still had feelings. Now the second time he was just a complete jerk, the way he talked to me like I was some stranger I don’t even know how he could be like that to me. The person who five days ago he could not wait to see. It just makes no sense, he kept saying this last time it is better if we don’t talk or see each other for now, I miss and love you too but we still have feelings. I am heart broken, I don’t know what to do this is so hard. I just want him back but I just feel like their is no hope.
emma
February 8, 2016 at 11:18 am
This is the second day of the NC which is really not easy to do, it doesn’t even look like its bothering him much since hes going out with his friends or hasn’t even tried contacting me. Im going to keep trying the NC for 30 days though. Is there a chance even if he said it was best if we didn’t talk or see eachother for now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 7:18 am
If he said that, then the nc rule is the best approach. You’re giving him the space, and you’re giving your self the time of improvement. And he said for now, he didn’t say forever. 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 2:23 pm
Hi Emma,
Do you consider doing nc?
emma
February 6, 2016 at 9:29 pm
Im also going crazy with social media stalking even though it just hurts me more I cant help it. Im always stressing about where he is who he is with or talking to, its crazy. He also said he did not want this like us but that’s not what he said a few days ago he is so confusing. Everyone tells me its better to leave it he will come back if I stop chasing but it feels like hes really not.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 3:49 pm
actually that’s true..There’s a good chance that when you stop chasing, he will notice it and then the tables will be turned
Jade
February 6, 2016 at 4:56 pm
Hi!
I dated my ex for a year, and we never faught, argued, made eachother feel bad, or had any substantial negative experience that would necessitate a breakup.
He took me on a weekend trip, it was lovely, and we had fun. When we got back, however, he sat me down and told me that he hasn’t developed deeper feelings for me. He said he was feeling guilty that he wasn’t falling in love and that we cant be together anymore. He initiated a breakup. I collected my things and left.
I haven’t spoke to him since then. It’s been 5 days of NC. I’m feeling blindsided, shocked, and confused.
Is he afraid? This next 25 days are going to be hard.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 2:04 pm
Hi Jade,
It’s actually vague.. but if I’m going to base it on just that, it may have been that the attraction is gone.
Carol
February 5, 2016 at 10:17 pm
Hi, Im currently on a break from my boyfriend. He said he loves me but is not “in love” with me anymore. Yet after much talking together he agreed that we would have a break and see how things go after we meet up following the current break. He wanted to keep talking to me over text and on the phone like nothing had happened? and anytime I post a picture on social media he sees it and posts one himself? Ive just finished my second day of full no contact and its killing me. Im finding it so hard, because it feels like I’m punishing myself as he wishes to carry on talking and I’m the one that has said no. I feel its best though to get a clear break from each other so he can clear his head and see how he really feels. Having had lots of time to think I realise that I really do love him. Am I going about this in the right way? we are only having a 2 week break and then going to meet up on a date like “thing”, I wanted to see what your thoughts were, and if in your opinion I have any chance? Thanks x
Carol
February 6, 2016 at 12:55 pm
thank you ever so much for replying. Thats made me feel a lot better, thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 1:08 pm
You’re welcome Carol!
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 12:26 pm
HI Carol,
That’s actually common. They break up and then they want to stay in touch. It differs in every situation why but mostly because they still haven’t fully let go. I think it can really help if you do that full no contact, even if it’s just two weeks.
Milan
February 5, 2016 at 6:34 am
So my boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago. We had been together almost 4 years now and for the past few months he’s had a lot on his plate his mother is extremely over bearing and she says some of the harshest things to him, his work is demanding of his time 7 days sometimes and even 12+hour days and not to mention finances and he broke up with me saying it’s just not the right time he has so much going on of course I cried and all of that before he even brought up the breakup I asked him was he still in love with me and he could completely be honest even if he thought it would hurt my feelings and he said yes he is and still loves me then I started talking about stuff and it went into the breakup. He texts me the next day saying I hope all is well have a good day I never replied. I know that he does truly love me he always treated me good and I mean this is a man who in the beginning of our relationship prayed to God about me and said he clearly received an answer that I was the one that’s how he fell in love. I think he has so much on his plate and i get that but I’m just wondering because I wanna call or text him so bad we talked before he went into work everyday and at night and I’m like going crazy and it hasn’t even been that long do you think the no contact for a month will make a difference he’ll miss me or the text I hope all is well shows he was thinking of me idk I’m so lost
Milan
February 5, 2016 at 12:37 pm
After 21 so o contact him or let him contact me I’m like so confused I don’t know what to say I’m completely lost
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 9:30 am
Hi Milan,
If he doesn’t initiate it’s ok if you do. This post can help you formulate first contact texts. Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 10:45 am
Hi Milan
I think you can do just 21, though we can’t guarantee that he’ll certainly be back after that, but for sure he’ll miss you.
Milan
February 5, 2016 at 7:02 am
Also his mom is like another girlfriend his sister too. He loves his family to death but he gets irritated by them too he just can’t break up with them but his mom calls him back to back to back if he doesn’t answer she always wants to spend time with her 3 kids her other son is married the mom she isn’t so it’s like her sons she makes them like a husband just wanted to add that because I think the stress of his mom job and all that is what pushed it to this point
Dawn
February 4, 2016 at 10:13 pm
I met a man a year ago and I knew at first sight he was the one. HE told me a few dates into it that he was in love with me, discussed the fact that he could see us living together, getting married and having a family. He was only separated from his wife for six months when we met. Shortly after we started dating, his life became a mess. His wife had let the house go into foreclosure, he lost his job, she filed for support and he was on the verge of financial ruin. He broke up with me, stating that he needed time to fix his life. But then month or so later I found out he was dating again…nothing that turned serious. However during the last year, he has continued to reach out to me on occasion and text me or send me pictures out of the blue asking if I am OK. He called me in September and told me that he knows how I feel about him, but that he cannot give me what I need at this point in time. Then he stressed that he is not ruling out being together in the future but right now, he cannot give me what I want. I have dated and he has dated in the last year and yet neither of us has moved on to any relationship that is going anywhere. He has no problem telling me that he is attracted to my amazing personality and is strongly physically attracted to me. But I just came to find out that he is in Co-Parenting counseling with his estranged wife. He told me that he gave her until September to admit her fault in breakdown of marriage and make a change before he files for divorce. When I wished him well and said that I hope it works out for him, he then said “it wont. Because she inst the type of wife I want”. I asked why then he is giving her time if he knows he doesn’t want to be with her. He stated that he doesn’t ever want his children to say that he didn’t try. I am so confused at the mixed signals he sends out. I have tried to go no contact and it lasts a few weeks before he will text out of the blue. Am I crazy to think he may actually come around and perhaps we will have a second chance?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 10:11 am
Hi Dawn,
You’re not crazy but his tactic is working. He tells those things to keep you at bay but doesn’t commit.
B
February 4, 2016 at 6:13 pm
Hey Chris,
My ex and I were together for 2.5 years but we’re talking for 1.5 years before that. We broke up because I wasn’t affectionate enough (started getting insecure because of weight gain) and he says he wasn’t happy anymore but he still loves me. We kept contact for a while but then he just stopped replying to me and I messed up and was calling and texting him before he finally responded and we talked a bit. He says he’s talking to new people but it seems like he’s mostly interested in this one girl who he met before we broke up but he said he never cheated and respects me too much to have cheated. He says he’s happy right now and doesn’t see us together in he future but doesn’t wanna say never he just doesn’t wanna give me false hope. I’m currently on day 16 of no contact but I’m scared to get my hopes up because he still says he loves me but also says he’s happy doing his own thing right now. What should I do?
B
February 17, 2016 at 3:21 am
I broke down and texted him before nc was over (there were only 2 days left) but I’m not sure if that made a huge difference or not. But I texted him about his favorite show starting a new season and he didn’t respond. I figured he was at work or something but started to get a little upset when it was around the time when he would be off. He’s never ignored me like this before and it’s killing me. Whenever we would fight, he would give in a text or call me first and now it’s like he just threw away 4 years without a care. I feel like the same way I felt at the beginning of nc wanting to keep talking to him. I was fine in the middle but as it got closer to the end I just started anticipating talking to him. I wanna keep trying but I don’t know what to do or if it’s even a waste of time. I started to try at the end of our relationship and he was just being really distant and saying he’s busy all the time until he just finally told me he wasn’t happy anymore. He told me before nc that he was happy talking to some new girl but idk if they’re still talking or if they’ve gotten closer or whatever but he’s never been the type of person to get involved with someone for a brief period of time. All of his relationships have lasted at least a year so I’m just kinda nervous that he’s used to cutting things off even after a long time and he really just doesn’t care anymore. Idk I’m just really upset now and just want some kind of answer :/
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 17, 2016 at 2:50 pm
THat’s normal to feel at the end of nc.. wait another week before you text again, of he doesn’t respond then that can mean it’s time to move on
B
February 8, 2016 at 10:19 am
Should I be concerned that he hasn’t even tried to contact me even though we sort of ended on good terms? I asked him if we could be friends and he said “if that’s what you want” but hadn’t even made an effort to contact me at all. Not even a hi or anything. I know it shouldn’t really matter since it’s no contact but I was hoping that it wouldn’t have to be forced on my end
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 6:43 am
It’s better not be because we don’t know what’s really going on his mind. Your concern or in other words worry, may taint how go about in your nc. Although you’re more than half, at least make the last half less about worrying and more about making HIM worry when he sees you and talks to you again. I know worry won’t go away, that’s normal. But if you’re asking me if you should, for me. It’s a waste of time and worry negates building your self back.
B
February 5, 2016 at 2:36 pm
Also I should probably add that I asked him if we could be friends and hangout still and he said “if that’s what you want” like he really didn’t want to. I was hoping that if I left him alone that he might actually wanna talk and stuff but he hasn’t even bothered. I just don’t know if he really feels like he’s better off without me or he misses me. His been in a long term relationship before but not as long as ours but he was able to just cut that one off too.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 10:33 am
If he says he still loves you, there’s a good chance he’ll miss you during nc and make you chances of reconnecting with him after easier. If it’s just because you’re not affectionate then your efforts to reconnect will show him you are changing and reaching out. Also, focus now on you, physically, emotionally before worrying about how to approach him.
Cammi
February 4, 2016 at 5:06 am
Dear Chris, I am 48 and have dated a 55 year old man for the past 2.5 months. When we first met, I knew he had been divorced for three years (she divorced him after he had a heart attack) and then he dated a woman for 1.5 years who he loved but she left him after he took her to Italy. He is fanatic about tennis and exercise due to his health issues. I was wary about dating but he had many great qualities, however, things began to get weird the second week of dating when he told me on the phone to come to his house and take a shower with him. I was upset and told him to bug off. He apologized and we continued, but I was always driving to see him 30 mins away. I then noticed that he was still communicating on match.com and confronted him as we were exclusive at this point. He admitted he had spoken with a woman he used to date but had told her he was with someone. I had a hard with this but after a long conversation we kept dating. Then he told me in a long discussion that he did not want to get married again, then seemed to change his mind, and then blurted out that he would have married his ex girlfriend in a minute if she had wanted to. In the midst of this discussion he also told me that when he went to his ex-wife’s house, that they drank bourbon and argued over her new boyfirend and sex life. I tired to talk to him about why there were so many contradictions and odd behavior and then he got defensive, saying he was busy at work. We ended up in a text argument in which he told me he was disappointed in me and that i did not act like i loved him. then I looked at match and he was on there again. I then told him why I was disappointed and he told me “Good luck, you will need it.” I do not know why, but I really feel for this guy and thought when these stupid issues were not going on that we had a lot in common now he is back on match, i’m not, but wondering if I should be. I feel angry, hurt and still care. we have been broken up for 24 hours and I feel sick inside. I guess the major problems were the lying, lack of effort and his unwillingness to meet halfway. He is from a privileged background and I am a self supporting college teacher. I feel really lost because I though we had something and do not know if he will ever see that his behavior was not normal. I feel bad that I got upset, but I have never dealt with a guy who seems this clueless. He was married 20 years. I was married a long time ago,for five years, and ended up raising my kids on my own. I could really use some advice although I realize I am a lot older than your usual client. I feel like a stupid drama queen and cannot stop feeling sick inside.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 6, 2016 at 9:07 am
Hi Cammi,
How are things now? Honestly, I really hate to say this but he doesn’t seem to be in seriuos relationship with you. It’s like he’s looking for just an intimate companion.
Maddie
February 4, 2016 at 4:48 am
A week ago my boyfriend broke up with me. We didn’t date for long, but it was seriously the best relationship I had ever had. We’re in college, and he broke up with me because he was getting really stressed out by school and his fraternity, and his anxiety was basically taking over his life. It really hurt because for the entire relationship I knew he had anxiety, and I was trying my best to help him, but it must not have been enough. Anyway, the next night some of my sorority sisters convinced me that we should go out, and I ended up getting pretty drunk. I texted him several long messages, he responded to some, and we had a mini conversation, but I really don’t remember doing it. Either way, I stopped texting him for a few days, but then tried to initiate a casual conversation, because it was driving me crazy going from texting someone every day to never at all. We both admitted that if felt a little weird to be acting as if everything was back to normal, and I took the step to tell him goodbye. So starting today I’m beginning to go no contact, but basically, I screwed up the no contact rule already and I was wondering if it would still work at all since I basically told him that I was going no contact. Please, I really want this relationship to work out, because honestly, they were the best months of my life.
Maddie
February 4, 2016 at 4:53 am
He said that he still loves me, but he thought that I deserved more attention and love than he could give me because of his anxiety.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 4:48 am
Well you didn’t tell him how long right? So, that’s ok.. Though I can’t assure you 100% that it will get him back, but of course he’ll still miss you even though you told him about no contact
Cristina
February 3, 2016 at 11:00 pm
Hi,
I was with my boyfriend for 4 years and things were getting complicated by the third year. The first two years I was all over him, hanging with his friends and brothers. On the third year I notice that this wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted just an us relationship. In a few situations I started to make him choose his friends or me. I also made a stupid rule that every saturday he had to spend it with me. Few times he did choose his friends and brothers. I let it go since I thought he was the love of my life. We also started to argue a lot, it eventually got worse. There was a point that we didn’t even talk while we eat. We went on a few trips and I hated that he will get mad at me because of directions, on our last trip he yelled at me in front of his friends. It was the most embarrassing thing ever. After that trip he left to Mexico to visit family. Before leaving he decided to have a party at his house with his friends. I didn’t go. I just thought that him leaving for three weeks and not seen me should of made him want to spend the day with me. When I told him that all he said was “You got New York”. We didn’t text much when he was gone. When he came back there was no flowers and he didn’t even get of the car. Dinner was horrible. I was still mad about him choosing his friends over me and him not making the night romantic enough. I asked for a break, after three days I was missing him. I had an excuse to text him. “We never said how many days” He texted back saying that days weren’t enough” He eventually broke up with me. I did ask him to work out things with me. His replied was that “He needed time to work on himself and that all married couple had a break, that they were so happy after” I told him that if he broke up with me that it was over forever. Thinking he will change his mind. But nope it didn’t. I miss him so much. But I haven’t heard from him in almost a month. No sign of him ever coming back. It does make you think about the “what ifs”. It sucks that you put in so much time and afford in a relationship and all of the sodden is gone. Why didn’t he just fight for me just a little, was I really that bad? Four years is a long time and I did imagine my life with him. I know he won’t be coming back. I just needed to tell someone. Thanks
Anita
February 3, 2016 at 6:03 pm
I am hoping for a better answer for my matter..i will summed up the story here.
i had a happy relationship with my bf for 5 months.our ages are 23 . we are batch mates.
for the last past 5 month what i felt was ‘we are matching for each other very well’
he was so caring and gave his time for me.but he had eneded up with his gf b4 4 months he started the relationship with me.sometimes he says he still has memories of her and not feel to have a serious relationship with me.
all of these times i told him to take time..and clear ur mind..i didnt scold him in any situation..even after thoe problems came out we were happy..like new couple.in the 5th month of our relationship,one day he told he has ideas on one girl..who was her friend for long time.he hadnt hide me his frindship with her..even i have read their conversation on chats.he is not hiding person..he is very open one(i think so).
even after he said he have ideas onthat girl,i said him to think again and again and then tell me what is his final decision..some days later he told me, He want me,dont want to loose me,bcz i m very loving gf.and he hugged me kissed me and said sorry for the things he had done.
next day he said..he dosent feel anything when he is with me and he is not happy to be in a realtionship..and even he dnt want a gf right now..
then i said him to break up if he dosnt want to keep me..
but i dnt wanted to leave him like that…i loved him soo soo much..i felt him like my kid.still i want him back.i m crying many times a day.now its been 2 weeks for the break up..but it seems that he dosent want to have contacts with me..even not asking how am i.?
please give me ur opinions..is this a common situation or is this a mental weakness of him of is this a totall cheating.
but what i noticed is, he was every happy with me when we met each other..she showed me love and he have told me that i m kind of girl that he want.i wanted to meet me..and to talk with me..we were happy really for the all 5 months.
i am confused.
one important this,that he didnt give me a single present either even though i gave him.and he is richer than me also.why washe that much miser?
Anita
February 5, 2016 at 2:49 pm
Thank you Amor :)!!no gifts is not my love language,,after he cheated on me,i felt like he didnit have any feeling for my happiness,even from the beginning.I am not that type of girl,who is expecting expensive things from boy.felt like he used me.
Anita
February 5, 2016 at 8:04 am
No dr.I asked.normally why does a boyfriend is reluctant to give a gift for his girlfriend. even when he has enough wealth.?
I am not expecting expensive things.but a gift is a symbol of love.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 10:57 am
Oh so, gifts is your love language? Sometimes, some guys express love differently
Anita
February 4, 2016 at 3:43 pm
Thank you Amor for giving me a so quick reply.and for your consideration. 🙂
It’s like that.HE was honest with me about his daily texting with her.It’s not like kind of flirting chats.just friendly and very close chats..even he have allowed me to read their conversation without hesitations.
One day i asked him,”why do you chat with her so often,so closely?,do you have any ideas on her?” at the moment he said that ” she is just a friend for long time,like a sister,no more than that and he has no feelings of her”
but next day he said “after my qustion,he started to think and he felt like he really has ideas for her.and don’t keep my hopes on him”.
after few days again he said,”he likes her,but he feels like she is a sister,not like a gf type.not like intimate.I am very good for him,so kind…etc ..he praised me a lot.
few days later,he said he dosent have any feelings on me.and he is conflicted.
As i know he doesn’t want his EX back..It’s only old memories.he remind her when i am with him.
whats your idea,that he didnt gave me any present..why did he was such miser for giving thing if he really love me.
Thanks in advance!!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 7:46 am
I’m sorry I didn’t understand your question. Did you mean why he is not faithful?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 4, 2016 at 2:02 pm
Hi Anita,
23 is still young. Maybe that’s why he changes his mind very often. First, he thinks about his ex and then moves on yo another girl while with you? And he’s being honest about it?
I can sense you’re a very kind girl and understanding but that doesn’t mean you can’t be firm. Be firm that he has to be faithful to you.Do Nc and make it productive, improve yourself and after that if he talks to you, keep being kind to him and find out of he’s still talking to the other girl. If he is, you have to think about going back to him because he won’t change until he sees that you he really wants to be with you and you want him to be faithful
Jen
February 3, 2016 at 11:37 am
I have been in a relationship for one year with my boyfriend. During this course of our relationship I have put him through hell. I have anxiety-attachment and jealous, controlling ways that led us to our breakup. He tells me he still loves me but doesn’t think starting over will help because of the past. I think he is right. I don’t want to lose him(he is a really great guy) because of my craziness. I told him his i don’t want to lose us and he says he does not want that either but he is at his wits end and cannot go on like this any longer. My birthday is in 2 weeks and we planned a trip together. He says he would like us to still go but we are broken up. Should I go or implement the no contact rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 3:57 pm
Hi Jen,
I think you can do it for just two weeks. Don’t contact him for 2 weeks. And then show and that two weeks that you have changed through social media. And then try to go on in the trip with him. And I hope that’ll make new memories for the both of you
Raini
February 3, 2016 at 5:09 am
my bf and i had been together close to five years. we were very happy couple. we did a long distance relationship very well for 2 years. after he got back to the country he told his parents about me and his parents did not like me because they were looking for dowry from me. i was so down and so hurt. im not a poor girl. im from a middle class family. but I think I am educated enough to be his wife also 🙁 i was very helpful for him and i used to write his assignments letting him to sleep. last august i gave him a surprise birthday party 🙁 but recently got some wired feeling that he is cheating on me. so i hacked his fb, &gmail. i found he is talking with girls saying that he is single. and when i ask about that he said he wants to hide this because his some friends are talking behind our back and they go and screw his parents and sisters mind telling rumors about us and he needs this to be happen smoothly and he works in that. but i was so hurt when he acts single. he removed me from his fb also to show that we broke up to his relatives and friends. but he treats me nicely. loves me and i felt it. but i always spying on him and started to fight. when i fight i talk a lot. and he ignores. but again i fought few days back regarding another girl. i saw his friends are trying to patch her with him since they think he is single, it was a huge pressure me since i feel like i’m ignorant from every people. i fought continuous and i hack his stuff. his Instagram also. but yesterday he said he can not fight anymore and he asked me to move on and he will go through his path. i messaged him and i even didn’t reply them at all. i miss him so much and hurt. I want him back 🙁 what should i do.. please help me pleaseeeeeee !
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 3:32 pm
Hi raini,
Is he flirting with them? Or he’s just plainly saying he is single? And about his parents, how are you going to work this out? How long is he going to say he is single? How do you see your relationship playing out in the long run?
Shamika
February 2, 2016 at 7:06 pm
My ex and I dated for 7 months. He decided to the relationship but even though we were broken up, we still talked, spent the nights with each other, even on vacation. This went on for about 8 months. After a big fight, I said maybe we should be broken up and take a little space from each. We said its only temporary that we do want to be with each other just not now. We saw each twice, but its been two months since the last time we seen each other or even communicate (he text me happy bday tho). I miss him like CRAZY and i want him back. What should I do, should i reach out first or should i wait for him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 2:41 pm
Hi Shamika,
It’s been two months. Is it normal for him not to contact this long? If not, initiate but follow the textinf rules after no contact. You don’t have to do no contact if you haven’t talk to each other for two months. Proceed to texting stage
Natasha
February 2, 2016 at 1:51 pm
I love my bf. We been dating from last 2 years. We broke up 2 days back. The reason for this is no matching in lifestyle. After breakup he said me personally that he is not feeling good about it but it has to be done. For his and mine better future. I really want him back and I am ready to do anything in this world to get him back. Please help me
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 2:17 pm
Hi Natasha,
Are you doing nc?
Katy
February 2, 2016 at 1:05 pm
HELLO.
okay well let me start off an say my ex and i haven’t been talking in a good year however he has been in a relationship for that amount of time. i dont know what to do i want him back but after what he did was just unforgettable. To make a long story short he broke up with me for another girl that makes more than myself however he wanted two pieces of the cake. if you know what i mean … he wanted me and her. He said he loved both of us which is ridiculous. Unfortunately now i want him back because i did wrong in the relationship too but i now know that i wasn’t ready for a relationship. uhhhh!!! however he is still with this female. an she wont let us communicate what so ever it sucks. what should i do ? how should i approach this ? should i even be bothered?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 2:16 pm
Hi Katy,
You shouldn’t be bothered. You should be leaving. It’s bad enoigh that someone cheats but to keep both of you and you’re allowing it? That means you don’t value yourself to be respected