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anahita
April 10, 2016 at 10:07 pm
hi,so this is my situation.ive been dating this guy for like 2 and half months.when we started dating we both got out of a long relationship ( me 5 years,him 4 years) plus our exes both cheated on us.the first 2 months was dreamy that i actually thought he is the one for me!suddenly a 3 weeks holiday came up.he had to leave the town with his family and i had to stay because i had to work.when he came back everything changed,he stopped calling me and texting me.we used to talk 24/7 after the 3 weeks holiday he barely even answer my texts.i asked him what happened and he was like” nothing i just feel so moody , give me a little time and everything will be alright”.so a week passed and nothing changed.i called him last night asking about how this relationship going m and this was like his last words “i cant get involved with anything more than this.cause i just came out of a big one.i dont want anyone to get hurt in the middle of it all.i hope you understand.its not wise to get emotionally attached.” i mean this means we have to break up right?so i asked if we could talk about it face to face and he said sure.the next day (today) he didnt call or anything.so i texted him if we could meet up and he said ” cant im busy today”.what should i do? i have no idea what happened through that 3 weeks out of town that something that dreamy turned into this awful mess!please help me.i really really like this guy
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 11, 2016 at 12:06 pm
Hi Anahita,
don’t chase.. try nc and show him that he’s making a wrong decision..Be active and improve yourself
Crystal
April 8, 2016 at 8:32 pm
Long story short:
Ex boyfriends name is Jeff
Jeff has 3 children (13,11 and 8 ) and full custody
ex wife left 2.5 years ago for another man and lived in New York ( he has since died ) and never sent child support and only occasionally visited children
Jeff meets me 10 months ago and we fall in love very quickly. Jeff wants to spend life with me and we have a wonderful relationship. Jeff and I move in together after 7 months dating and 6 weeks after moving in together Jeff dumps me. ( I believe ex wife was very jealous of me living with him ) I move out and Jeff tells me him and ex wide are gonna reconcile and he is OK with that because he wants children to have mom back. The ex comes for a 10 day visit a sort of trial run and i stay out of their business. The ex goes back to New York and Jeff and I get back together. He is all over me and I assume he has decided not to reconcile with ex wife after all GREAT !!!!
Well I was WRONG after kissing me on the tennis courts he says we need to talk. The ex wife and him are planning on reconciling after all and she will be back in a month or 2. I walk away with a broken heart again but determined this time not to beg him back. Jeff is a man that will do anything for his children including letting go of the one person who makes him happiest. ( That’s me ) Jeff let it slip while telling me that his ex is gonna come back and it’s gonna be a sort of business relationship. I was given this info minutes after kissing him on tennis courts. I love Jeff and I believe he is the man that I am suppose to be with. I have not contacted him since that time on the tennis courts 2 days ago. What should I do? I understand his desire for wanting his kids to have their mom in their lives and I think he feels the only way to allow this to happen is if he tells her he will take her back. I love this man with my entire being and I know he feels the same way about me but she is the mother of his children and I am afraid that will trump his love for me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 1:42 am
Hi Crystal,
if he decided to take her back, you have to respect that.. because if you stay, you will become his mistress
Bayley
April 8, 2016 at 7:14 pm
me and my boyfriend was together for 3 months and I would do anything he asked. I thought everything was going great., except we would argue over Petty things. He would give me chance after chance . And so we went on a break. I begged and pleaded to get off the break and would tell him I would change. I was serious about changing because I didnt want to lose him. And then he said to give him time to think and then i tried again the next day..and he broke up with me and told him I would do anything to make it right.. but he says he is tired of being treated this way.. People tell me he isnt worth it but I truly love him.. what can I do to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 8:56 am
Hi Bayley,
if you did everything, in what particular way he didn’t want to be treated?
Madeline
April 8, 2016 at 9:04 am
my bf and I are going to break up in a month’s time. we agreed to give each other 1 more month to enjoy each other’s company and after that we will end it. the reason for breaking up, he is old and wanted to get married but I’m not ready for it and I do not want to be selfish to ask him to wait till I’m ready so I thought I shouldn’t waste his time. I know we both love each other and I cannot imagine the days after breaking up but this is the best for him.
anyhow, I just want to ask. what if he doesn’t contact me at all during the NCR? do I still contact him after 30 days? does it also means he doesn’t miss me? I’m asking in advance to prepare mentally.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 7:05 am
Hi Madeline,
the question is did you change your mind about marrying him? Because if not, and he wants to get married still, what’s the end game of nc?
Mary
April 7, 2016 at 10:22 pm
My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 10 months and he broke up with me about a week ago and we haven’t had contact since (I’m trying the No Contact Rule). However, I studied abroad the last three months and we stayed together through it all. When I came home last week my Ex broke up with me the very next day. He said that he was really depressed and needed to grow and learn on his own and that he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. But prior to this he always told me how happy I made him. I’m trying the No Contact Rule but I can’t help but think that he has already moved on and is in a different emotional place than I am since he had been away from me for 3 months. I do not understand why he wouldn’t try to give our relationship a second chance once I was back in the country. My question is, can the No Contact Rule still be applied to this situation? Will he still grieve and miss me even though we have physically been apart for 3 months?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 6:18 am
Hi Mary,
if you were talking everyday, he would miss that… did it became boring when you were there?
Casey
April 7, 2016 at 8:59 am
To Leave Him Be or Not Leave Him Be… That is my question and I am dying for some advice out of the realm of my friends and family. I have been dating/common law with my fiance for 10 years. He has cheated on me in the past (I know, lose the jerk) but I wanted to work through it because when we are good, we are amazing together. I had to leave early Jan 2016 due to the emotional stress of knowing there may have been another girl and I stayed with my parents. Feb 6 rolls around, our 10 year anniversary and he breaks it off with me. Later in March I get this lovely message from a woman saying “be lucky you are rid of him”, then this whole wonderful story that I was in fact correct. The only problem was.. there were two women he was actually sleeping around with (while I was having a kidney transplant mind you). Also, the one that he “proclaims” to have love feelings for he had been talking, sexting and fooling around with for over a year previous. The other women (who texted me the whole story) said they met 6 months later. The two women didn’t know about each other, they found out, got mad and everything blew up. NOW, thank…goodness I read your articles before all this happened about staying calm, no drama, no doing the 5 deadly sins after a breakup… I very calmly took the information and ignored him for 5 days until we really did need to have a talk about it (we own a lot of assets together). I went back to my home where he is residing and things got emotional. After all of this we remained in contact, we talked on the phone (good conversation, no drama) about what had happened and why it had gotten to that point. From then on (happened roughly 3 weeks ago) we have been off and on communication and it goes like this.
I talk
He talks
I talk
He talks
See? I’m not lying when I said I’ve read your articles! Then unfortunately it started getting a tad emotional again bringing up certain things but I remembered my cool and kept it as no drama as I could and didn’t G.N.A.T him to the best of my ability. He actually said “he doesn’t know what he wants or how he feels right now because he has mentally shut himself off from emotions and he has a lot to sort through so he needs time” We talked, I agreed that I wasn’t about to force him into any kind of answer and to talk the time he needs but I wouldn’t play Plan B, we ended on a good note as usual with these talks all the way through. SO, I started contacting him as little as possible, when I started no texting him everyday he has started texting me first. I’m at a loss of what to do, I keep my answers simple, short and to the point. We have to keep in touch because of the legalities, and for some reason I am so worried that if I stop talking to him completely he is going to choose this other women. (I know, my logic is kicking me in the arse too right now) I don’t know where to go from here… our life was amazing aside from our problems, I am chronically ill and he doesn’t communicate, together both our problems ate away at each other but he would always say even right up until the end “as long as I have you, I am happy” We had great times together when he wasn’t worried about the women he was juggling. I did everything for him and I’m fighting to keep my head above water when the truth that he may not love me and may never want me again comes crashing down. Advice would be amazing. How do I implement the no contact rule but try to stay in contact with him because of the split? I’m trying to own this breakup but it’s eating me from the inside out. I went from being his whole world to nothing in the blink of an eye. Now what do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 2:59 am
Hi Casey,
10 years is long and that has caused to be codependent and each other so it’s reallg hard to let go.. but if he has two other women, I’m sorry to say this, but it kind of makes you like the old wife that became boring for him but he can’t divorce because it’s just a hassle.. Take your power back by rebuilding your individuality and by doing no contact.. rebuild your self respec.. Make your talks only about yiur investments and if you can have someone else, a lawyer if you must to talk to him about that while you’re healing. It’s better to lose somebody that used to respect you than stay and let them take your self worth more..
June
April 6, 2016 at 11:58 pm
My boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me 5 months ago and in that time he has been the only one to initiate contact asking specific questions but usually says he has to go after about a few minutes. Then two months ago he messaged me saying that he wanted to see me again but when I said yes he never answered again. I messaged him about it a week later and he said he was sorry and he was being a bad person. I was hurt so told him to stop texting me if hes going to keep hurting me and all he could say after that was that he wouldnt message me ever again. Now its been two months and I dont know where I fall into this timeline or where I should start.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 2:14 am
Hi June
don’t expect..if a man shows signs let him prove it first.. if you want to talk to him..try to initiate but set your expectations so you don’t get confused and hurt
Anon
April 6, 2016 at 12:23 am
My boyfriend who I thought was “the One” (told me he wanted me to meet his parents in Peru, marry me, be the mother of his children, etc) and I broke up about a month and a half ago. It was a very quick relationship (about 3 months). However, we knew one other in high school, and after going separate ways after high school, he popped back into my life a little over a year ago, revealed that he had liked me ever since high school, and slowly surely got me to fall in love with him. We broke up because we were long distance, and I felt he was making more plans with and prioritizing his friends over me. Furthermore, I don’t think we saw eye to eye on who would be the one to eventually move, and when I tried to have a conversation with him about it, it didn’t seem like he really was ready to “settle down” even though he talked a good talk…
Anywho, even though it’s been a month, I still hurt, but am trying to move on. I’ve been working out more, focusing on my school work, telling myself “I don’t miss him,” not contacting him…basically, doing a lot of things that are pointed out in this article! With that being said though, I was so hurt and felt like I was spending too much time thinking about him that the only way I could find to maintain my sanity was to block him on FB. Clearly, doing so means he can’t see all the great things that I’m up to and pine away for me. Have I killed my chances of making him miss me by blocking him on FB, or is there some way I can fix this situation without making it obvious I have an agenda or break the No Contact Rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 11:02 am
that’s okay.. when you unblock him later on he will stl see your posts.. so, if you’re focused on healing now, just keep at it
Yami
April 5, 2016 at 1:27 pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for about seven months, and during our relationship, he treated me like an absolute monach (Queen) to the point where he’d obey my every command; when I asked him why he would, he shrugged and giggled out these words, “Because I love you!” Honestly, his words were so passionate and sincere. I loved hearing them. He was also always so passionate about loving me and showing affection. This was a long-distence relationship. One night, however, we had a small argument about the dumbest thing and I guess he was in a devastated state? He broke up with me from what seemed to be confusion and negative thoughts. I didn’t agree that we shoukd break up and tried to find all the solutions possible to get him back. Currently, I have just started the no-contact rule (it has been four days) and he has still liked all of my photos on instagram. ALL of the ones I have posted recently. When I logged into his skype, he still has the nickname set for me as “My Love <3" and knowing that he made it clear that he thought he didnt love me anymore, this made me curious. So, experts, help me out please? Do you think i have a good chance of winning him back with your statetgies and do you guys think that he still loves me, even the slightest bit?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 5:19 am
Hi Yami,
yeah I think he just acted out emotion…if he says he wants to talk, break nc..
Jojo
April 4, 2016 at 9:32 pm
my bf and me we have been dating for a year now and i had to go away to another country with my father for only 7 months and back we stayed in our long distance relationship for about 5 months and then he changed the way he talked and his responses. and i usually face time him all the time w call each other everyday so i wouldn’t want him to feel that i abandoned him or something but him he was distant for a while and i tried to talk to him but he didn’t want to but one day i asked him and he said that he doesn’t love me he way he used to but he still loves me, the fact is i knew that this day was coming because i am muslim and he’s christian and i know that it can’t work out but i went against my mom and everyone because i love him and we said before we dated that if something happened we will remain friends i know this sounds stupid but when we broke up that’s what he told me we talked as friends the following two day but then he deleted his kik and i didn’t know anything about him i texted him only once at the beginning on facebook and asked how he was doing he still haven’t texted back and haven’t spoken to me and he downloaded kik again and haven’t texted or even called it’s been almost 2 month now and i am so confused because we were suppose to be at good terms but right now i feel like i have done something wrong and i know that i lost him as a lover (boy friend) i don’t want to lose him as a friend too and that’s what scares me the most is that i think that i already lost him and i don’t want to text him first because i don’t want him to think that i am still not over him but at the same time i really want to talk to him to see how he have been how’s everything going for him, he was the only one i talked to and he’s the only one i have i don’t have any friends the fact that i can’t talk to him and tell him what’s bothering me is killing me, and one time i posted a picture on ig he liked it and then disliked it i didn’t get why he did that i’m just confused and don’t know what to do can you help me figure this out it have been two months already and my head is still spinning
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2016 at 8:17 am
Hi JoJo,
try to send him a text and tell him that in a friendlier way.. you can tell him it’s been two months and you’re wondering how he’s been and yiu understand that he’s doing this to move on.. but that you hope after everything else you can be friends
Shauna
April 3, 2016 at 10:43 pm
Hi, me and my boyfriend broke up yesterday and I’ve been heartbroken ever since. I’ve been doing everything wrong with by the looks of it. Basically he’s 16 years old and I’m 15 and I know that you might not take me seriously for relationships but I really hope that you understand. His parents let him do what he wants to whereas mine are completely the Opposite! They’re so strict it’s unbelievable. I basically got grounded for two weeks as I was supposed to sleep at his house even though my parents said no but I went ahead and tried to do it anyway. Obviously my parents found out and I couldn’t see him for a long period of time. You said that not seeing someone and making myself available would make him miss me more and it did he was constantly asking if he could call me and he was constantly reasurring me of how much he loved me. But when I finally got ungrounded yesterday I went to his house and he was totally off with me. He acted so different and I knew something was up. But I didn’t understand because he made love to me but it didn’t feel the same at all he would usually compliment me and be amazed at my body but he was silent like I wasn’t even there. Anyway when I got home he messaged me saying he had lost feelings after not seeing me for so long and I broke down. I didn’t understand how he said that he lost feelings in the two weeks of not seeing me however still had sex with me… Anyway, today I have been messaging him all day and I posted lots of photos onto snapchat of me looking good and having fun with my friends. He messaged me complimenting me and asking to see me and I said the totally wrong thing and said that I would see him at the weekend. )he’s such a nice young boy and he let me call him to explain everything about what had happened. Long story short after hours of me crying over the phone he said that my parents are too strict and we can’t do What we want to do. He expected me to be able to do anything and anything like for example sleep at his house when my parents hardly know him and go to the caravan with him which is 4 hours away for the weekend. He also mentioned how he usually goes for older women who can drive so that he can do all these things as his parents let him have a lot of freedom whereas I have to be in before the street lights turn on. I suppose it’s good having parents that care about you but to a certain extent. I did the wrong thing by messaging him still begging him to meet me at the weekend and he agreed to see me either this week next week or the week after which is after his birthday to go shopping. And before I said that I was off to bed I said ‘message me tomorrow’ which I regret saying. I was just wondering do I ignore him or do I try a different method or should I go for it and meet him but I think I would get friend zoned if I went and met him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 1:59 pm
Hi Shauna,
since it’s already said, meet him so you dont send mixed signals.. just be relaxed on that day, try not to be too emotuonal
hannah
April 3, 2016 at 2:42 pm
My bf and i have been involved with each other for many years now, however recently from last august we had been on a more serious path, commitment wise and even talks of marriage. Recently we got into this huge fight because I suspected he was cheating on me. We had been in fights about this prior because of our history. The fight got nasty because he kept stonewalling and i got physical with him which i regret. i became a bit of a gnat and he told me he has no interest in the relationship anymore and that there is no coming back from what i did. i told him i regretted it and though he told me he just needs time we will talk about it, i am scared he said so just to get me to stop texting/calling. I am willing to make this work and i just want a chance like all the chances i have given him. it blows my mind because everyone says we are such an amazing couple, we are extremely loving and spend all our days together so this has been a super shock for me. the texting happened within 2 days after the fight.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 10:36 am
Hi Hannah,
have you talked again now or are you doing nc?
Bri
April 3, 2016 at 3:46 am
So, my ex and me broke up three weeks ago after a major fight where I told him not to come home. He insisted he be allowed to get everything he owned (basically making it clear he wasn’t coming back). To rewind, we have a 3 year old daughter and I’m 7 months pregnant with our first son. We’ve only been dating for 8 months this time and even though I didn’t want another kid he was really excited and assured me he’d never leave me like before. We also broke up when I was pregnant with our daughter and were only together 6 months that time. This time felt different we both really wanted it to work but just weren’t able to handle regular relationship problems in healthy productive ways. I miss him so much and don’t want to do this alone again with the kids but I’m afraid I pushed him away too much. After the breakup he seemed happy with it and said I was still his best friend. My pride wouldn’t allow him to see I missed him so I made it clear in every way I could that I didn’t want him back either. Being nice only lasted a couple days and then the fighting began. Over his TV that he left, over how our daughter is raised, over our son, whether he was gonna show up to the baby shower. We fought more after we broke up than before with a lot less holding back on his part and a lot less resolution. We have both said really ugly things these last few weeks. A couple of days ago I seen he posted a picture of himself with another girl and I freaked out ranting on Facebook and telling him to not contact me anymore. He not only blocked me but my family too. It’s a girl he met while we were dating that lives next door to where he stays. Apparently they go on walks together in the evening. The no contact rule is obviously in effect but I don’t want to keep my hopes up if he has really moved on. He’s going out more and hanging out with his old friends all the time (things he rarely did when we were together). He got all new clothes and a nice haircut. He just seems happier without me but idk if it’s all a front to make me regret our breakup or if he really is happy. He even found a new job in the area he moved to. He hasn’t contacted me since I told him to leave me alone but that’s not making things easier. In your opinion, is this something I should give up? I’m sitting here swollen and pregnant feeling so ugly. I can’t compete with this skinny girl with flowing hair and big boobs and no kids for him to worry about. I feel like he’s living the single life up while I’m sitting here pregnant and taking care of our daughter. I feel like many of the things you suggest (getting fit, going out, taking professional pictures) I can’t really do because of the pregnancy or financial issues of having gone from two incomes to one (he made most of the money). Please, give me your advice. Am I wasting time and emotion on him? Should I REALLY move on? Or could he just be trying to rebound and feeling just as sad about things as me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 9:07 am
Hi Bri,
for me, you should try to focus on your health first and set getting back with him aside.. you have an upcoming birth and a child and then after that taking care of your new born son while getting back in shape.. Get back in shape not because of him but for you to get your self esteem..You first before others.. And also, if you’re not emotionally ready to be in a relationship better not do it
Hailey
April 2, 2016 at 12:43 pm
Hello! My ex and I have been on and off for 5 years. In the beginning, he was always so respectful and always treated me very well. I was his whole world. As time went on, we both went to the same college and things started to change. He began hanging with his friends more and never really made plans for me. Every time I asked it he would reply with “we’ll see”, and eventually we just stopped going on dates. He also began to treat me very badly. The only time he wanted to hang out was at night when he wasn’t busy. My problem is that he is only wants to see me at night, and he is only very loving and sweet in the bedroom. As this went on he went to a party and was drunk, and cheated on me with a random girl. After this I became very bitter because I felt I was losing him, and that I couldn’t make him treat me with respect, affection, and just make him want to be with me. He texts me everyday and still wants to sleep over, but still does not make date plans. We have both been each others only relationship and we are both scared of moving on, we always come back to each other one way or another. He still to this day would do anything for me. I’m so confused and don’t know if he actually does care about me, and if he wants a relationship with me, or if he is just lonely and wants someone there to sleep next to at night. Please Help đ
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 6:06 am
Hi Hailey,
talk to him first and after that talk start to have your own life too..be busy, your students and he’s being busy with being young.. I’m not saying it’s right that he’s ignoring you but he will appreciate you more if he sees he has to make you feel that way so you won’t leave
Charu
April 2, 2016 at 6:22 am
Hi!
I read this post..insightful and convincing, I must say. It would be great if you could suggest something to me as well.
I have just completed my masters. In the last month of the last trimester, I met a guy (through mutual friends) and we started talking often. This carried on as we would party together nearly every night. He always said that he would not talk to me once college gets over. But his actions would suggest something else and over that period, gradually, he started giving mixed signals. After the graduation trip (where he did not accompany us) he made it clear that he isn’t able to reciprocate with he same feelings but we continued talking. Recently, we had a show down (a week back) and he reiterated that he doesn’t like talking to me because he just isn’t able to reciprocate even after trying and all this while he was talking because he didn’t want to see me sad. But because last few conversations always ended in arguments, it’s better that we stop talking. He also said that we can be normal friends and might meet a couple of months later when we are in the same city.
Though we haven’t spoken since then, he is still on my mind and I would want him back as I found him to be a great person and he treated me well when we were together. Separating from him when we didn’t even start a relationship doesn’t feel right to me. We could have been together but I feel the atmosphere there didn’t allow us to be together. Would you help?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 5:02 am
Hi Charu,
I think to be honest, he has been clear that he doesn’t want a serious relationship since he has been repeating it.. maybe he sees that you’re getting serious.. and then you became the chaser.. if you’re still each other, try no contact.. if not, then focus in yourself and when you see him again, hold back. Take it slow. Let him do the work and if he says he’s not into serious relationships again, accept that and then distance yourself so you won’t hurt so much
Anna
April 2, 2016 at 2:43 am
About two and half years ago we met chatted so much on fb we both really fell in luv with each other and he asked me out and we started our relationship.
We had small fights from the beginning but they always ended up each saying sorry and we were great. I could always trust him. He was a very loyal guy and would evn spend a lot of time together. Hey and i are in da same college. We had some professional practice period. We were at two companies nad we had been so busy. Both of us couldnât really meet more than once a month. Those were da days that we really got far apart. And it was kind of my fault i always argued with him that we need to meet more that i feel like we are slipping away from each other. I actually continued arguing and he got mad saying um not reasonable and he wants an understanding woman. Then i said if he canât make a commitment we will break up. He said he didnâ t want to but i didnât text him fr a couple of days but i missed him so much and i gave up saying sry to him.
Then after a few days i again argued with him that we are not spending time together and dat day he really got pissed and broke up with me. I said okay at first but i really missed him and pleaded not to leave me (i know um pathetic) but he left me anyway saying um annoying and doesnât want me in his life. Somehow after a few weeks of pain i moved on and once the professional practice period was over we were back in college we could see each other every day. Some times we texted and those times i told i moved on and um okay. After about 3days back at college he texted me heâs falling in luv with me and miss me so much. I said i canât get back together with you because u broke up with me and i canât trust u bcz Iâm scared dat u will brake my heart again. He said he was sry. He was angry that time and if i wasnât coming after him that time pleading he wouldnât have actually left me. He said he was sry and want me so much he canât even smile when he sees me at college bcz he misses me. After some time he promised me he would be more caring and said he wouldnât leave me. He luvs me and stuff. My luv fr him was still there too so we got back together.
Ts just some times when he made small mistakes or took time to reply me oe sent short replys thru text i got annoyed and told him to be better. He said he watched movies play games datâs y his msgs are short and dat doesnât mean anything else. But we got into bigger arguments
Um so stupid đ and two days ago he said he thought da second time would work out but it didnât, that i get angry all the time and dat he is fed up with me. And he doesnât want me anymore. I asked him not tp break up and i will correct my mistakes and to give me a chance. But he wouldnât listen.
Wat should i do. Ts so painful.
And i have a feeling dat he will fall in luv with me once more even though he says he doesnât want me in his life now. We always get attracted to each other. Thatâs wat happed the last time too. But If he comes back to me like before i shouldnât get back together right? I canât do the same mistake twice right? His emotions are so unstable although he luved me. I canât be the grl who gets back together when he misses and be dumped right? But i want him so much.
Please um in great pain. I donât think he has made me like a toy. he really wantd me da second time and he luved me. But should he leave me like that whenever there is a fight.? I mean whn he made mistakes i always accepted his apology.
It just really hurts i have never been with anyone else. I have never had any other boy friend.
I really miss him.
Please tell me wat i should do. Um so pathetic arent i?
Anna
April 16, 2016 at 1:24 pm
Yeah i really wanna move on but how can i deal with him at college? We have the same set of friends who go on trips together spend time together. I shouldn’t have to leave them just to be away from him right? Should i totally ignore his presence?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 6:22 am
You don’t have to ignore them.. but you have to be brave to ignore him if you really want to move on and focus on doing other stuff and meeting new people to help you move on.
Anna
April 6, 2016 at 4:19 pm
I just even don’t know whether i want him anymore. I have completely lost faith bcz he dumped me twice but out of blue i miss him so bad and makes me cry.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 6:40 pm
that means you’re on your way to moving on
Anna
April 6, 2016 at 4:08 pm
Yes I am doing. Just about 7days now. I will have to see him at college tomorrow
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 4:48 am
Hi Anna,
are you doing nc now?
Super confused
April 1, 2016 at 3:39 pm
Hi, so I am in a really tough spot. My ex and I broke up on March 20 (two days before my birthday). He had recently gotten back from a college/school trip to New Orleans for a marketing competition. Before he left, we spent everyday together and had a great time. He even told both of his parents that he think “I am the one”. I dropped him off at the airport and all was well. On the trip, he was not able to talk much and I was a little annoyed because I missed him but understood. On Friday, he told me that he loved me so much and couldn’t wait to come home but that is basically all he said all day. He ended up going on and I became frustrated that he wasn’t really texting me at all. We ended up getting into an argument and he shut his phone off on me. This infuriated me and I then had a panic attack. He knows I do not do well when I am ignored. I also have really bad anxiety, which he is aware of. He also has anxiety and body dysmorphia which I try to help him through. Anyway, I asked him to please just talk to me and that I was very anxious. I ended up texting him around 70 times and ended up pulling out some of my hair (an anxiety thing). When he came home Sunday, he met with me and told me that he just couldn’t take it anymore. He said that he hated himself as well. However, he said that he did love me…but that he just had to let go. I decided to implement the no contact rule and it was working until yesterday. I texted him about a money issue and he was very cold and I asked why. He said that he did not want to come off as “flirty”. That infuriated me. We had been together for 1.5 years and is treating me like I am nothing. I asked “do you even miss me? How do you go from telling me you want to marry me and telling your parents that I am the one to dumping me?” and his response was so cruel: “It was a combination of things. I don’t want to talk about this honestly parts of me miss you but then I think back to everything that has happened and all I see are red flags. Idk I don’t want to talk about it” That hurt so bad. Only PART of him misses me?! And he is acting like we had this toxic, tumultuous relationship when we didn’t…I am SO hurt by all of this. How can you say you wanna marry someone and then say only part of you misses that person?!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 12:29 pm
Hi,
sorry for the late reply.. It’s better if you do no contact for yourself.. grow as an individual first, specially emotionally.. Coz it looks you texy gnatted him and became clingy.. Love yourself first before loving others so, you won’t end up needy.. Find happiness apart from him coz true consists of two complete persons individually choosing to have an addition in their lives..
C
April 1, 2016 at 2:20 pm
Hey Amor, so it’s been a month and I ignored him, he messaged me once halfway through no and just texted me today (It’s day 30). I’m nervous to text him, especially since most of the advice assumes that the girl is the one starting the conversation… Is it okay that he started the conversation or should I ignore him longer and then start a new conversation myself?
C
April 3, 2016 at 5:58 pm
Thanks! It went really well, I ended the chat early saying I had to go and he said he wanted to catch up soon đ
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 12:22 pm
it’s better if he started it đ
Lucia
March 31, 2016 at 1:03 pm
Hello đ I am a little bit confused…I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago, but I kept texting him, calling him (especially when I was drunk…) But it has been a month we haven´t been in touch and now, three days ago, it was my birthday so he came to my house to congatulate me. And now I do not know what to do, “The No Contact Rule” or “The Jealousy Methods” ? To be more specific, we broke up because I had cheated on him and I confessed to him. He told me that he does not want to date anyone and he feels happy… But we had been together for 2,5 years and we were really happy together… I just do not know what to do because I miss him so much.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 11:18 am
HI Lucia,
You can’t do the jealousy because you cheated on him.. If you haven’t done no contact, do you want to try it?
Angel
March 31, 2016 at 9:24 am
Hi, I have been going out with someone for 8 months. I broke it off with him because it got to a point where things started to slow down and we didnt communicate as much. One thing he mentioned to me was that he started to lose interest a few months ago because I kept on cancelling on him. He had also made plans for my birthday but I couldn’t make it due to family issues. We did meet up since but he keeps saying that he kind of gave up after the birthday thing. After we broke up, I asked if we could get back together. He didn’t necessarily say no, he started talking about how he likes me but the feeling hadn’t progressed a lot and then said who knows what the future holds. He asked if we could still be friends and hang out and I said yes. I messaged him recently and he sounded happy to hear from me. We are meeting up soon as well but just as friends. Your article states that its for people on dates with their ex’s. Should I still do whats in your article straight away?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 10:33 am
Hi Angle,
Yes, you should still do it. Did you go on the date?