6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,942 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

Jessica

September 13, 2013 at 8:12 am

Hi.. I DATED MY EX BOYFRIEND FOR A YR N 12 DAYS. HE TOLD ME HE NEED SOLO TIME AND I TOLD HIM NO IF HE WANT SOLOTIME IT WAS BETTER TO BREAK UP BECOUSE I DIDN’T WANTED TO BE GOING BACK N FORTH N HE TOLD ME IF THAT’S WHAT I WANTED HE WILL RESPECT MY DECISION N I TOLD HIM OKAY THANK YOU N MADE HIM PROMISE TO RESPECT ME AS A FRIEND SO 10 DAYS LATER HE HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND AND I CONSIDER HER AS A FRIEND AND SHE TOLD ME SHE DISNT HAD NOTHING TO APOLIGIZE TO ME THAT SHE WAS LIVING HER LIFE N ME AND HIM ENDED THINGS TO B FRIENDS SO AFTER WE BROKE UP I TRIED TALKING TO HIM N HE WOULD IGNORE ME N ROLL HIS EYES AT ME SO I LEFT FOR A WEEK AND WHEN I CAME BACK HE WAS TRYING TO TALK TO ME BUT I IGNORE HIM SO I NOTICE HE WAS INSISTING ON BEING MY FRIEND I WAS STARTING TO TALK TO HIM BUT WHEN HIS WITH HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND HE LOOKS DOWN AND IGNORES ME N I DIDN’T LIKE THAT SO THE NEXT DAY I TEXTED HIM N TOLD HIM I WANTED TO GO TO HIS HOUSE TO DROP THE STUFF HE GAVE ME ESPECIALLY THE PROMISE RING HE GAVE ME AND HE TOLD ME TO KEEP EVERYTHING BECOUSE HE BOUGHT THOSE STUFF MEANT FOR ME AND IF I DIDN’T LIKE SOMETHING TO THROW IT AWAY SO I TOLD HIM I WAS GOING TO THROW IT AWAY WITH ALL HIS PROMISES AND LIES BECOUSE IT ALL BELONGS IN THE TRASH AND I TOLD HIM ONE LAST THING THAT WE WERE TWO COMPLITE STRANGERS NOT TO TALK TO ME OR EVEN LOOK AT ME OR SAY HI AND WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT HIS BEEN AVOIDING ME HE CHANGED HIS WORK SCHEDULE. THE THING I DON’T UNDERSTAND IS HOW DID HE MOVED SO FAST ON TO A NEW RELATIONSHIP IF 2 days before I ASK HIM WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF HE BROKE UP AND HE TOLD ME WERE NEVER GOING TO BREAK UP BECOUSE WERE MEANT TO BE AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DO I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW A ONE YR N 12day DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING TO HIM HOW CAN GUYS MOVE ON SO FAST ?

admin

September 13, 2013 at 6:20 pm

WHY ARE YOU WRITING IN ALL CAPS?
Jessica

September 13, 2013 at 8:06 pm

Oh! Sorry it’s a bad habit and when I wrote it was really late.
admin

September 15, 2013 at 12:46 am

Haha it’s cool. So how can I help?
Jessica

September 15, 2013 at 2:36 am

I dated my ex boyfriend for a yr. and 12 days. He told me he need time alone so I told him if you need time alone it’s better if we break up. He told me “If that’s what you want I will respect your decision”. So we ended things as being friends. But 10 days later he has a new girlfriend. How can he move on so fast?? Especially when three days earlier I ask him “What would happen if we broke up” and he told me “We’re never going to break up because were meant to be!” So I left for a week and when I came back he was trying to talk to me but I would ignore him since he was doing the same . When I would talk to him. So I told him not to talk to me or to look at me and since then his been avoiding me. Is his new girlfriend a rebound? Or his just over me?
admin

September 16, 2013 at 3:48 am

New girlfriend certainly has signs of the rebound doesn’t she.

May

September 12, 2013 at 6:13 pm

If that’s the rebound, what are the chances of them breaking up. It’s been over 2 months into their relationship. He is 44 and i think she is 15 years younger than him. He’s been showering her with gifts and acting like a sugar daddy. Talking the whole night on the phone and so on. I started the NC things. Should i expect him back into my life? I still have feelings for him. well it was 6 great years!

admin

September 13, 2013 at 4:05 am

I would say if their relationship lasts more than 6 months then it is becoming more serious.

slice

September 12, 2013 at 7:53 am

me and my ex boyfriend have been on no-contact for about a week, and hes jumped into “the chase” with another girl right away, i have realized before that he always thought that this girl was pretty. but he also knows that she (rebound) has a “boyfriend” (im not sure if they are together or not) that is in college, yet he still continues to talk to her. he also has not tried to talk to me at all (usually he gives in by now). i just want to know if rebounds ever form real feelings? and if these feelings mean that he will have any less for me? or if it is all a mask?

bc i feel like even if she is giving him all this attention, she has a “boyfriend” & he clearly knows that, yet he is still pursuing her.

admin

September 13, 2013 at 3:47 am

Sounds like a rebound certainly.

It is possible to get feelings for a rebound but a true rebound you may have feelings for, for a short period of time before you realize you don’t really like her that much.
slice

September 12, 2013 at 7:54 am

we also were together for two years.

May

September 11, 2013 at 11:37 pm

My ex found his new girl friend a few days after he break up with me. She was an old friend of him but they were never in a relationship. She just moved back to town and say hi to him. A few days later he said he is in love with her. Do you call that rebound? We dated for more than 6 years and we just came back from a cruise trip and he break up with me. I don’t know what to believe now.

admin

September 12, 2013 at 4:04 am

Yea, that seems like a rebound to me.

Lupe

September 11, 2013 at 10:50 pm

I have a question… it the Rebound Time line based on how many month he went into the new relationship ‘after’ he broke up with you…or is it based on how long he has been in the current new relationship. I was in a relationship with my ex for 3+yrs. He went into a new relationship less than a month after he broke up with me, and has been in his new relationship for 7 months (so is it based on the 1 month after break-up, or 7 months in current relationship)?

admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:59 am

It is based on how long he has been dating the new girl.
Lupe

September 11, 2013 at 11:35 pm

Another thing… how does age/maturity factor into things? He is 22yrs (smart, but not too mature)
admin

September 12, 2013 at 4:03 am

It matters. The older typically the more mature. Early 20s usually immature.

Heartbroken

September 11, 2013 at 7:54 am

My fiance and I had been together almost two years. We’ve broken up and gotten back together more than once. The longest time we were apart was 3 months, the shortest was roughly a month. He moved out of state Sunday, that night he blocked me on FB and changed his relationship status to single. We both had been arguing a lot over small things, and I realized what I was doing. I am planning to get psychiatric help to deal with my problems. He keeps telling me he doesn’t want to talk to me, but he still does. He is currently living in Tennessee, and is in some kind of weird online rebound with an engaged woman in Australia. The woman still lives with her fiance and their eight children (three are hers and VERY young, the rest are his). The only things he’s done to cut communication with me are to block me on Facebook, from texting (that’s what he says, but I haven’t tested to find out), and on one character in a game we all play (this is how he met her). He appears offline to me on Yahoo, but I know he’s online. He has not unfriended any of our mutual friends. He has not deleted anything I’ve posted about us anywhere. I uploaded pictures of my engagement ring in places he’s seen, and he hasn’t asked me to remove them. He also still has quite a few pictures of me. The things he’s said this time are the EXACT same things as the last time, and we weren’t apart very long. I can see through it as a defensive mechanism. Neither my ex-fiance nor his RR are able to relocate to be together outside of the cyber world, and she won’t leave her fiance. I sent my ex an e-mail telling him to have fun with his LDRR (long-distance rebound relationship), and predicted that it wouldn’t last, and when it ends, to come find me, as I won’t be hiding. I have friends who have been posting things that I’m sure he sees, showering me with support and attention. I’m acting like I enjoy the attention when I really don’t. I last acted toward my ex like I didn’t really care anymore if we got back together or not. I am going to enter a short period of no contact with him, but will make sure he hears and sees what I’m up to, as I am moving soon to find a job and get my own life straightened out. I love this man with everything I have, I know in my heart and my gut that he’s definitely the one. I have not removed my engagement ring, and I sent him a few pics that showed me still wearing it. He never commented on it. In the pictures, I had put on makeup in a way I know he likes, and did my hair. I was also wearing one of the shirts he left for me to snuggle with. He’s also left more things here, and we also have a cat who is going with me when I move.

I am desperate to get him back. I know his feelings for me are still there. What can I do, aside from trying to make him feel jealous (I did it once before, he came SCREAMING at me about it and admitted that it worked, even though it was a horrible thing to do, which I agree with) or completely ignore him? I can’t handle being without the man I want to spend the rest of my life with anymore.

admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:14 am

Have you tried a full NC with him yet?

Aimee

September 10, 2013 at 2:06 pm

Great post first of all. So my story. My ex and I had been together for just over 2 years, and lived together for 18 months of it. He moved away while we were dating to another state and then came back after a few months because he was miserable being away from me. So we then got together, everything was perfect and we had a happy relationship and we bought a house together. Then out of the blue he tells me he wants to break up because he wanted to be alone and that he felt he could not make me happy in the future, yet he told me he still loved me and I was his first love. Naturally, I went off the rails a bit and was texting him and calling him at stupid times to try and get his attention. It got to the extent that we were only talking to sort out the situation with our house as he wanted to cut contact. He then told me to delete his number. Now 2 months on, and a week after I had last met up with him I found out that he is now with someone else, someone who he confided everything about out relationship with. I am devastated. I am trying to figure out if this is a rebound because when I asked him about his new relationship he told me that it was none of my business and that he still had feelings towards me and did not hate me for the hurtful things I had done during us separating. However he stated I did not deserve any sympathy from him. He has been very nasty to me over the past 2 months and has said some very hurtful things. Its like he has had a personality transplant. What I can’t get my head around is how he has ‘moved on’ so quickly despite saying that he still loved me when we broke up. He has said he did not cheated on me with his new girl but it just seems so orchestrated. I haven’t spoken to him in 2 weeks as he just does not want to know anymore. I’m still hurting from all of this. I just don’t understand how you could treat someone you apparently love so badly. It is as though our whole relationship was pointless. I really did think he was the one, unfortunately I was one of those people that fell hopelessly in love. Any advice?

Aimee

September 10, 2013 at 2:09 pm

By ‘2 months on’ I mean 2 months since he broke up with me.
admin

September 11, 2013 at 2:11 am

In that time have you been in contact or have you done NC?
Aimee

September 11, 2013 at 10:51 am

We had contact then went through a period of contacting only to sort out the house. Since hearing of his new partner I asked him about it and then i cut contact (2 weeks ago). It was 2 weeks ago that the issue with our house got sorted out as well so I now have no reason to get in touch.
Initially I should have done the cut contact but it was awkward considering we were living together and that I was finding it all very hard to deal with and confusing.
Aimee

September 13, 2013 at 11:06 pm

Yeah I have done. Just miss him so much, I’ve lost my best friend and my lover at the same time. Could not feel as low as I am now about it all, even after 2 and a half months. I just want him back even after everything he has put me through, but everyday he spends with her it just seems less and less likely.
admin

September 15, 2013 at 1:07 am

Try not to focus on that. Focus on the only thing that matters, you!
Aimee

September 12, 2013 at 2:35 pm

Yes we are in NC now, and have been for 2 and a bit weeks.
Going to the gym more and eating better. I’ve even treated myself to new makeup!
admin

September 13, 2013 at 3:52 am

Oh, I bet you are having to beat the men away!

Haha try to do more though during NC. Get more social. Go out with friends, go to parties, go clubbing just do something fun!
admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:19 am

Yea I understand why you didn’t cut contact. But you have a legitimate reason for not doing so.

Anyways, your in NC now right? What are you doing to improve yourself during this time?
Aimee

September 11, 2013 at 11:05 am

I also forgot to mention that he has blocked me from all social networking. I found out about the new girl from a mutual friend who saw an online post.

BethJ

September 9, 2013 at 7:49 pm

we were together for 8 months, very serious very quickly. I was the first relationship after his divorce, he told me he had been single for over a year although his divorce wasn’t final yet due to custody. He fell very hard and fast for me and it took me a little longer to get on board. Once I did it was the best relationship I’ve ever had. I knew he was crazy about me, our boys get along really well, our families liked the other person. He was attentive, affectionate, loving, accepting. Spoiled me rotten. Then all the sudden he says it’s not going to work. He doesn’t want another baby and I said I did. We agreed to try to work it out. A week later more external stress with his job and kid and he ends it. We stay in contact for 2 weeks, talking and him basically saying he’s scared and can’t make it work and so on. Out of contact for a week, run into eachother, I resume contact. He is responsive but rarely initiates. We get our boys together for 2 weekends in a row for playdates. On the most recent one, I find out he’s been dating someone since within 2 weeks of ending things. This is TOTALLY out of character for him! His sister is shocked and disgusted with his behavior, but he hasn’t told the family so far about this new person. I told her about it and she was so confused. We had talked about marriage and buying a house and so on. He had also told his family this was the plan. We are both in our 30’s- me early 30’s he is late 30s.
He insists he is not in a relationship with this person and that she gets very little of his time or attention. He spent all day with me and our boys even after me finding out about her and being very unahappy about it. He just keeps apologizing and saying he cares about me, but just doesn’t think it will work long term. That he thought he wanted a family again, but doesn’t think he does anymore. I asked him so he’d rather have some meaningless situation and he said “well yea, kinda, yea.” He told me it was not fair to me to only be able to see me once a week, which is about how often he sees this person. When I asked if it were fair to her he said “I don’t know, I really don’t care.”
2 days after that conversation I emailed and just said I know we can’t be together the way we were right now, but in my gut I know this is not how we are supposed to be forever. That I’d like him to just have an open mind. He has not responded and I have not made any contact since then. We are still on each other’s facebook. He tried to say that he just wanted our boys to be able to play together and doesn’t want anything more right now.

Thoughts? Suggestions? This man told me AND treated me like I was the love of his life. He was very good to me and I never had any reason to not trust him. He swears he didn’t cheat, but I have to wonder if this person was already on his mind before he ended things. He says he’d been having doubts about his abiltity to make it work long term and juggle his career (very high pressure, demanding, lots of hours) for about a month but when he would be around me he would feel so good so he kept thinking it would maybe work out. I want to note that during this month of him having doubts, there may have been a tiny bit of distancing when we weren’t together but nothing that couldn’t be explained by how slammed he was at work. We also took 2 trips together in that month and had a marriage discussion.
Is what he’s doing a rebound? What do I do? Thanks for any help!!

admin

September 11, 2013 at 1:27 am

Haha Hi Beth,

I hear from people with situations like you all the time.

How long has he been dating the new girl exactly?

Are you in a NC period right now?

You might want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. I really recommend it for you.
BethJ

September 11, 2013 at 1:57 pm

as far as I can tell, he’s been seeing this new person for about a month. I didn’t ask him exactly when they started seeing each other. We were in NC until last night, I had a situation (semi crisis) pop up in his area of expertise so I called and text him, got no response. Yesterday would’ve been day 5 of NC, with the last being the email I sent last week and got no response to. We are still on each other’s fb though.
admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:29 am

I would go back into NC and this new girl is still within the “rebound timeline.”
BethJ

September 11, 2013 at 2:04 pm

just for clarification we broke up, talked off an on for that week then got together for lunch. Talked some more then didn’t talk for that whole next week. The 3rd week after the split is when we ran into each other at the park and resumed some limited contact. The next 2 weekends, we got the boys together and it was on labor day weekend that I found out he’s seeing someone. So even while he’s seeing this person, he was getting our boys together on the weekend. He said it was just so the boys could play together, but come on…the day I found out about the new person I made it very clear how I felt about it and yet he spent the whole rest of the day with us anyway, continuing to talk about us and denying that he’s doing anything serious with the new person. Last week I called him at work and tried to get answers that made more sense. That was the last time that he has responded to my contacts.

nina g

September 8, 2013 at 4:37 am

I have posted on here before, but long story short, my ex ended things with me because I had hurt him really bad in the past. He left me for a (no longer) friend of mine, which I think he subconsciously did to seek revenge on me.

I’ve been in no contact with him for almost 3 months now, and I was almost ready to contact him but unfortunately ran into him at the local pub the other night.
He was there with the new girl (my old friend) that night, but apparently they were fighting before I got there. When I arrived, we walked past each other and his face dropped. He looked miserable the whole night, and was telling a mutual friend that he was upset that I was there. He wasn’t with the new girl the whole night until the end which is when things got messy. The new girl was a drunken mess, and as she walked passed me, she pushed me and called me a b****

I was sober, but retaliated by pushing her back off me and told her not to speak to me like that. All my ex saw was me pushing her off me, which made it look bad for me. The new girl completely twisted the story, telling him that I was the one who started it, and as a result he got mad at me, told me to leave her alone and accept that he has moved on.

I tried to explain what actually happened, but he said that she is his first priority now, called me some nasty names, said that I had hurt him really bad in the past and to leave him and his new girl alone. He was so cold and bitter towards me, it was horrible to think that he hates me that much.

I left, sent him a text calmly explaining the situation, and ended it by saying that I do want him to be happy, and it’s a shame that things have ended on such bad terms.

Is it time for me to give up? The way I see it now, is that he really does hate me, and has happily moved on with his new relationship now 🙁

admin

September 8, 2013 at 4:39 pm

Man that woman is such b*tch. I can’t believe she did that to you.

I don’t think you should give up by kind of giving up. Let me explain. I think you would do well to distance yourself for now. The new girl is going to self destruct and while he may be taking her side right now once she does self destruct he will come to you and probably say “you were right.”

So for now, continue bettering yourself and move on a little bit but in the back of your mind keep an eye open for the self destruction.
nina g

September 9, 2013 at 1:26 pm

Oh, this girl is a horrible person. She did the exact same thing to me a couple of years back with another guy I was seeing at the time. A year later, he did realize and apologized but by then I had already moved on. Now I know she’s gotten into my current ex’s head, I just hope he realizes sooner rather than later because I can’t wait around forever.

Sorry, just one more question.. this thought has kind of just been floating around in my head.

My ex has been trying so hard to forget me, do you think the fact that he actually saw me over the weekend would have caused him to think about me again? or would it have just pushed him further away? :/
nina g

October 11, 2013 at 3:40 am

Oh. Why after?
admin

September 9, 2013 at 7:55 pm

Cause him to think about you DEFINITELY!
nina g

October 10, 2013 at 6:56 am

The thing is, since we broke up I’ve contacted him twice. The first time was a week after we ended when I found out about him and the new girl.. I tried calling him, and sent a text message asking him to explain what is going on. He told my friend that he couldn’t speak to me, because he knew he’d give in.
The second time was after that whole drama happened when I bumped into him and his new girl, where I sent a very calm text explaining what really happened and that it was a shame that we’ve become on such bad terms with each other. He didn’t reply to that either.

The last one wasn’t that long ago, so I don’t want to seem too desperate and available because I really have no idea what he’s thinking/feeling at the moment.. He is extremely stubborn, and I did really hurt him when we were together.

His birthday is in a month, I was thinking of maybe waiting until then and sending him a text wishing him a happy birthday so that it’s more casual and less annoying. Do you think that would be a good idea?

I know this makes me seem obsessed and crazy, but I saw him like a photo of his new girl/current ex, which made me think they could possibly get back together and i’m just getting my hopes up.

Sorry for all the questions, I really appreciate your advice and am so thankful considering you are a complete stranger haha.
admin

October 10, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Sometimes strangers can give you an unbiased perspective.

I would actually send a text a few days AFTER his birthday if I was you.
nina g

October 7, 2013 at 4:34 pm

oh and i’ll mention that my ex and I have been apart now for 4 months now, so he and his new girl were together for just under 4 months which I guess could be classified as a rebound relationship.
nina g

October 7, 2013 at 10:34 am

Okay so here’s an update on the situation..
A couple of weeks ago I ran into my ex’s best friend and we had a big chat about everything. He told me that apparently my ex talks about me as much as his new girl, and that the reason he is acting the way he is, is because he is still hurting.

Then I found out yesterday through another mutual friend, that my ex and his new girl have recently broken up. My friend didn’t seem to want to go into detail about it all, so I didn’t ask too many questions. I have a feeling that the new girl actually broke things off with my ex, because she too just got out of a serious relationship, so maybe wasn’t ready. I’m not too sure though. I think they are still civil at the moment, so it wasn’t a bad break up.

My question is, what do I do now? Do you think my ex will start to think about me again/contact me? Or should I be contacting him?
My biggest fear is that i’ll end up being a rebound for his rebound.. so I don’t want to be too available if he does decide to come back.
admin

October 8, 2013 at 1:53 am

You can contact him again BUT let a few days go by so its not so recent after the breakup.
nina g

September 8, 2013 at 4:39 am

oh we ended almost 3 months ago, and he started dating the new girl within two weeks of us breaking up, so they have been together for almost 3 months now too.
admin

September 8, 2013 at 4:39 pm

She will self destruct I am pretty sure.
nina g

September 8, 2013 at 4:42 am

Sorry, one more detail I should add is that we were together for two years.

Jim

September 6, 2013 at 10:38 pm

Hello there!

So its Jim again, I wanna ask you if you think this is a rebound situation or not:

1. I (gay) broke up with my boyfriend after dating 4,5 years and living together for 4 years
2. ex boyfriend wanted me back quickly after the break up but i told him we need time to rest
3. after around 3 weeks i saw he added a new friend on his facebook, this new person looked quite gay
4. one month after the break up i met my ex again at his house, we kissed with lots of passion and i gave back his keys
5. i went 2 other times to his house within the next month but the last time we didnt kiss at all
6. 3,5 months after our break up i saw a picture of my ex and his new boyfriend. the new boyfriend posted that picture on facebook and yes it was the guy my ex added on his fb 3 weeks after our break up. even though one day before i saw the picture my ex told me on whatsapp “im thinking about you” after i said “hi”
7. i dont know when they started being together before the picture got ‘leaked’
8. i asked my ex if he has a new boyfriend and he said ‘yes’. he also said he wasnt over me yet but he wanted to move on with his life
9. maybe once a week now he will watch my timeline on facebook and he will like certain pictures.
10. im doing the no contact rule now. im at day 11. my ex liked one picture on my timeline 3 days ago but i havent contacted him at all. will wait 20 more days. i turned off his feeds a couple of weeks ago so i cant see any of his pictures anymore.

we broke up for 4 months now.

thanks for your time!

admin

September 7, 2013 at 2:09 am

It has the signs of a rebound relationship. I say if their relationship lasts more than 5 months it is becoming more serious.
Jim

September 7, 2013 at 5:56 am

Thanks, 5 months.. do I have to start counting from the day I saw the picture of them together on Facebook or from the day they added each other on Facebook?
admin

September 7, 2013 at 11:48 pm

The picture.
Jim

September 6, 2013 at 10:44 pm

oh i forgot to mention this

i already told my ex that i wanna fight for our relationship. i know we have to solve some issues and im willing to fight for it. i told him in a letter and he said that letter caused him pain. this happened maybe 1 week before i saw the picture of him and the new boyfriend on facebook.

you can put this between 5 and 6 from my last post.

Brandy

September 6, 2013 at 5:09 pm

I have a question, Im debating the facebook thing. If NC is in place would it be better if he don’t know what im doing withing those 30 days. Wonder what Iam doing. Then once the 30 day is up open it up again with new pics. Please advise

admin

September 7, 2013 at 1:57 am

I actually wrote a post on Facebook. I would say I like leaving facebook open so you can work a little indirect jealousy but the ultimate decision on whethere to do it or not is up to you.

Jayne

September 6, 2013 at 3:42 pm

I was with a man for nearly 3 years. We met while he was separated from my then friend (his wife) which cheated on him multiple times with no remorse. We agreed to just be casual and “be” however feelings developed. Things were bumpy at times but ok for the most part. I had an accident that caused a head injury and I struggled to hold my emotions together. I got angry a lot and it seemed to drive him further away. He flirted a lot in my opinion with his female friends and I was jealous. He didn’t like the jealousy and trust issues. I understand his point.

It seems we officially ended around January/February but still saw each other and continued the physical relationship which was intense with great connection. Then long about April he pulled back. He found out I was on Match looking (which was for my rebound, at least I’m honest) so he gets an account and shows up as my #1 match. Hurt like hell. I saw a few people but nothing serious. We still had sex up until July. Then a week ago he tells me he has met someone, they haven’t had sex yet but wants to remain my friend and doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with me at this time. What the heck does that mean? How am I to jump for joy at the thought of a new woman in his life and be his friend? We’ve still had some kinky text conversations this week….I care for the dumb man very much. I have actually said the “L” word. But now feel betrayed I guess for expressing it. I know my faults, I see what happened but it seems to late to change it. Sigh….

admin

September 7, 2013 at 1:54 am

Man, I hate hearing stories like that :/.

Do you need my help on anything?
Jayne

September 12, 2013 at 6:16 pm

Really it has to come from within side of me in order to heal and move one and most importantly let go. We met this week to finalize or discuss what the best possible solution was and I still held my ground and him his. He did explain that his “relationship” is “very complicated”…then why be in one that is complicated and a person just as insanely busy as him? Easy…makes it easy to not be accountable for feeling he has to dedicate his time to her. He said he could never give me enough time, maybe this is true, because I liked the wanker.

I left the cafe by handing him an envelope with some hand written quotes about ending a dear friendship on the outside and on the inside a list of “thank yous” all the things I enjoyed about your time and things I will miss. I ended with stating I wish we could have tried to hang in a little longer but understand his need to move forward.

He messaged me later and said (after months of me stating my position) that he finally realized that it was too difficult on me to be friends and he was sorry we had to sever ties and he would miss me and thanked me for the wonderful memories.

Jayne has to let go. Is one person really worth all of that agony? He seemed like it, kind of still does. But now he has gained the heart of another in a blink of an eye.
admin

September 13, 2013 at 4:08 am

Well, I wrote a post about moving on. Maybe check that out so you can kind of figure out where to go from here.

Sloan

September 5, 2013 at 6:31 pm

Hey Chris!
This is my second time on here, and this particular topic reaches out to me the most. My best friend who has also encountered a rough rough breakup recently suggested this site for me and it already seems to be making me feel better and a little less insane. So my story is that my ex and I were together for 13 months, he actually left me the day after we celebrated the 13th month. His family was never really wild about me, but that is because we came from two completely different backgrounds and he is also 2 years younger than me, which I know sounds crazy, but somehow it just felt right, like I never really felt any older when I was with him. I am currently 19 and he is 17, so him being a high school student is obviously a huge factor in the matter. So it has been a little over 3 months since he and I broke up and he is now with a girl 2 years younger than him, 4 year age difference between she and I, and they started dating on the 26th of the month which was mine and his number for our anniversaries and from what I have read of your post, it sounds like she might be a rebound. To top it all off, I received a message this past Saturday on facebook and it said it was from my ex. The message stated, “Hey..I still love and have missed you. No matter what I say from now on, I will always love you.” Well I didn’t receive that message until an hour later and when I replied thinking that it wasn’t him he was no longer online. So I told my best guy friend who is also friends with my ex and he asked him and my ex denied that he messaged me that and claimed that he was hacked and was going to change his password. I just cannot grasp why anyone else would’ve messaged me that, especially 3 months down the road. Maybe he just panicked thinking that his new girl would find out or that his friends would judge him because he likes to suppress his emotions. Another thing I have seen him do on like twitter, (yes I have still been keeping track of that since he refuses to speak to me), but on there he will post things about his new girl like he is trying to convince himself that he actually does care about her, which he never had to display public affection with me for everyone to know how he felt, which is another reason I think she may be a rebound. He says we broke up because we want different things in life which I think is a lie because we always talked about how to compromise things. Like I said it has been over 3 months and I still find myself being madly in love with him and wanting him back even though he hurt me. I just don’t see how he could throw it all away. I apologize that this is like multiple topics in one message but it seemed easier than posting individually on each one. Also when he said in that message “No matter what I say from now on…” I feel like he was kind of warning me that he was going to deny it, but like I said, I don’t even know if it was truly him. Anyways, I appreciate having you here to post all this advice, it already seems to be helping. I deleted my social media sites last night just so I wouldn’t be tempted to keep tabs on him anymore and so that if he does keep track of anything I do, he won’t be able to anymore. I hope to hear from you soon!! Again, thank you!! (:

admin

September 6, 2013 at 2:29 am

Hi Sloan,

Seriously is that your name “Sloan?”

Haha I am thinking Sloan from Ferris Bueller. Sorry sorry.

Part of the problem is that he is a little young and immature. But I honestly think you have a really grounded perspective. The new girl does seem like a rebound doesn’t she.
Sloan

September 6, 2013 at 4:26 am

Haha oh my goodness, I get that A LOT! But that isn’t where I got my name. 😛
Thank you for thinking I have a grounded perspective, I hope that is a good thing! (:
It’s funny, I spoke with his best friend today because he is my friend’s brother and even he thinks that my exes new relationship is a rebound and he 100% believes that message was from him. If so, I think he just needs to own up, but he is immature, of course.
admin

September 7, 2013 at 1:40 am

For now the best thing you can do is to focus on yourself for some time!

Wendy

September 5, 2013 at 2:01 pm

Me and my ex were together 3yrs but this last year hasnt been good, he became distant and i was having some problems I had death in the family and i got depressed and I just was mush but he became so distant that would only see each other 2x a month, I became very emotional when he was doing that and sometimes I would never hear from him, and then i would and he would say hes sorry im the love of his life and we I wouldnt hear from again for a few weeks, this last a year…. June 9th we had the best day ever the best sex emotional talks just everything,we promised each there will be no other people even when we are going thru and he made swear that I havent been seeing anyone else in time… Then one week later I never heard from him again, I kept texting him and saying whats goin on what did I do now, why is he ignoring me I begged him… Then I saw it July 19 it was posted on facebook hes in another relationship with another girl…. Theres pictures everywhere he even has his profile picture of them… People are like when did happened to him he just laughs and says she pretty awesome girl and hes very lucky….. On August 4th I told his mom I heard hes with someone else and me and his mom sed to be best friends before I dated him but, he texted me saying hes so sick about hearing about me it makes him sick everytime he hears my name and he hates my guts and to stay the fuck away from his family and to never to think of texting him again…Im so crushed and lost what the hell did I do, when he would tell me things he wasnt being phony about loving me, maybe sometimes but when we were together it was so passionate everytime and then he would be gone…….I dont even know what im asking or saying, why did he do this, why is he rubbing it in my face… We are not facebook friends someone showed me…. I texted him last week and said how happy he looks and I wish him the best and thanks for being apart of my life and ill never forget him and he text back saying im a beautiful girl and I will find happiness….. Im so freaking lost I should of ignored him harder because it did bother him bad but i guess I didnt do a good job… Im so sick to my stomach I cant breathe, I knew hes was fading but not to be with another girl…. Such slap in the face, I really took care of him and I helped his family with so much because they had some real hard issues going on I did everything I could to be there I did alot and im glad I did but im so hurt im a nobody now to all of them it feels like someone died I really lost alot and my heart is in pain as I right this im shaking cause the pain im in its an utter shock…. I need help answer how to cope with or whats to come does anone have some advice on what hes thinking or was thinking… I dont know what to do why me I dont even bother him theres no point and i know it will make it worse…. Why couldnt he just breakup with and be gone then I wouldnt be hurt so bad… Just because we had a rough year some are saying since we were barely together that theres no reason for me to be hurt not everyone knows how it was this past year but only a few… So am I dum , someone please talk to me…

admin

September 6, 2013 at 2:14 am

Your not dumb. Not at all.

Have you tried a NC period and have you checked out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO?

ranto

September 5, 2013 at 1:23 am

Met at work while he was about to divorce. After a few months we became more than friends. Together for three years. It was a good relationship but there were many bumps ahead that we both knew we had to face together. He claimed he loved me to the very last minute and after he ended the relationship. Broke up because he was going off the deep end about his divorce and finances and new life he needed to adjust to with part custody of his kids. He started to get paranoid and depressed about what his family and friends would think of him about the divorce. He started to say that they would blame out relationship for his divorce, which wasn’t true. But his paranoia and fears were overwhelming him and I noticed he began to view me as an emotional punching bag and person to blame for his life situations. He said he couldn’t handle the thought of peoples judgements. He said he shouldn’t be dating til his divorce was finalized.

After he broke up with me, he starts acting hot and cold. One second he’s sweet and the next he’s a raging lunatic. His mood swings were so out of character. Two months after the breakup he voluntarily tells me he’s dating someone. I don’t react but feel disgust inside. I wish him the best. He gets angry and tells me that I want him back. This tirade first on for a few more weeks of him almost seeming like he wants me to say YES I WANT YOU BACK. Then he voluntarily tells me that he’s told the new girl about me and how close we are. He says she’s worried that we work together and talk. I ignore him because that’s not my problem she’s insecure. A few weeks later he tells me he’s going on vacation for the first time with his kids solo and then he voluntarily tells me he invited some female to join them. I didn’t say anything. Ten seconds later he tells me “but she couldn’t make it.”. Why the heck did he even tell me that he invited her if she couldn’t go? I felt like he was trying to get a reaction out of me. I didn’t respond. He gets irritated and moody so I tell him I can’t carry on trying to be friends with him after I feel insulted hes being a hypocrite and dating when he just said two months he shouldn’t. He calls me a few days later and starts going off on how we can never ever be together again. He starts going off about his depression and divorce for about an hour. Then when I finally ask him a question, he yells at me and says he needs to go because he has a date and he’s an hour late. Ummm… he called ME and I wasn’t aware he had to be on a date at a certain time. He hangs up on me and then calls me back five minutes later to tell me that his date is pissed off at him now because he’s late and then he tells me It’s all my fault. I tell him to have a nice date and then I hang up to let him go his merry way. But five minutes later he’s texting me on how It’s my fault that he’s late and that the date was mad and worried. I ignored him.

He starts acting stabilized. He doesn’t have mood swings. He’s nice and begins to slowly act like he used to when we were together. I begin to get the feeling he’s showing interest and so I ask him about his two month streak of niceness to me. His demeanor switches from hot to cold and he reminds me he’s dating someone. So I tell him that It’s not cool for him to be talking to me deeply and emotionally attaching to me if he’s dating someone especially knowing I still have feelings for him. He totally ignore what I said and dives into a pity party about his life woes. But then he tells me that he doesnt know if dating someone is the right thing nor does he know if dating this new person is the right thing for him.

The next week hes back to being sweet and Flirty now. He’s making comments about our relationship and how great and comfortable it was. I ignore him because I feel like I don’tknow what’s up or down with him. He continues to flirt and I tell him that I feel like he’s manipulating me and the situation and I didn’t like it. He gets pissed and annoyed and bluntly says that I ruined his life by walking into it. I felt so shocked. I told him he was selfish and didn’t know how to accept accountability for his own decisions and life. He tells me that he TRIED to avoid getting into a new relationship but that it just developed. Yeah sure! Then he says he wanted to be honest with me and said that he’s regretting the new relationship a lot.

It’s been 5months since he first told me he was talking to someone and that he “MIGHT be interested in them.”. I don’t know if It’s a rebound. But I don’t feel like I should put too much Hope in that it is. Why does he do the hot cold thibg? If he wants to be with me, he would find a way to, he would try. Im so lost and confused by his plethora of comments, actions, mood swings, etc.

admin

September 6, 2013 at 1:42 am

Honestly, sounds to me like he is trying to get a rise out of you. It’s sort of like to see if you still care about him.

Keely

September 3, 2013 at 2:14 am

So I found out that my ex who started to date someone a few days after our break up proposed to her two weeks after they started to date. He still haven’t said a word to me and I haven’t said a word to him. I really need your advise? should I be worried? I don’t know what to do.

admin

September 3, 2013 at 3:26 am

I already replied to your comment before.
Keely

September 3, 2013 at 5:41 am

Yes I know but the difference is he proposed to her two weeks after we broke up. That’s the part I have no idea what to do part.
admin

September 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm

You can’t do anything except sit back and watch it crash and burn. I mean, that seems like a doomed relationship to me.

Link

September 1, 2013 at 6:39 pm

Long story short, my boyfriend of 2.5 years and I broke up because he had a melt-down which pretty much stemmed into a personal crisis on his end, where he’s decided he needs to turn his whole life around, because the way he’s been living it thus far has made it impossible for him to really have a connection with anybody. I’m a very emotional person and have been having a hard time with all of this because I still love him and I’ve been where he’s been, and I want to help him.

We rode the emotional roller coaster of “being friends” for about three or four months, and I thought we were actually on the road to recovery, especially when he started flirting with me again. Then he mentioned he’d met someone, so I told him I didn’t want to stick around for that when it was obvious he didn’t know what he wanted. Three weeks into our no communication, he’s written me this intense letter about everything he’s trying to fix about himself and how he was unhappy with casual acquaintance and how he thinks I’m such a beautiful soul, how he hopes I’ll forgive him one day.

A few weeks later, we started talking again, he’s friended me on FB and reaching out to me literally every day. We had an argument the other day about the fact that he had been avoiding telling me if he was still seeing this new girl, because I didn’t want to set myself up if he was, and he said some pretty hurtful things to me, though the argument didn’t really center on the new girl at all. Then last night, we patched things up, and I’m supposed to go hang out with him like… now… He had said he wasn’t in a place where he was ready for a serious relationship, he was worried he wasn’t in a place where he could meet my needs, but I was one of four people in his life he actually wanted to still talk to (he has cut out most of his friends) and he wanted to work on understanding. We both told each other that all we were looking for was to have empathy and respect.

I guess my questions are this: 1) is he serious about the new girl and is she a rebound? 2) does he still have feelings for me but not want to mess it up by not being ready… or is he just running game?

admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:40 am

I will just answer your questions:

1. How long have they been together?
2. He may have feelings for you while running a little game. (guys are such idiots sometimes huh?)

Christine

September 1, 2013 at 6:13 pm

We’ve had been together for a year

admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:38 am

No, I meant the new girl.

If you and him were together for a year then it was not a rebound relationship.
Christine

September 4, 2013 at 11:57 am

I don’t know exactly, the pictures and statuses started about 3 weeks ago.

Casey

September 1, 2013 at 3:33 am

Here’s my story …
So me and my ex having been in a on again off again relationship for about a year in a half. When we break up we can never stay away for long and often end up back together. Well recently we started talking again and we were basically together without the title. We eventually decided to just be friends but we then got involved sexually with eachother a week later and I even spent the night with him. about 5 days later I found out that he had starting talking to another after I stayed the night and that had already had sex. This girl is also known for getting around. Would this be considered a rebound relationship?

admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:52 am

Sounds highly likely to me 🙂
Casey

September 1, 2013 at 2:40 pm

Thanks for replying … How should I handle this situation do you think that he will try to come back? Should I try to communicate with him? He’s bestfriend has also just contacted me asking if I was involved with anyone?
admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:28 am

For now, let the new rebound relationship run it’s course.

I would stay in NC for a month.

Don’t respond to the best friend.

Julie

August 31, 2013 at 10:12 am

Hey my ex and I have been off and on for 2 years. 2 weeks ago we decided to go on a break/no contact for 6 months. He did however send me an email last week saying that he is seeing someone else right now and that he still thinks we should see other people and hed give me a call in 6 months to see how I am/if there are still feelings there.

Tonight the girl he is seeing wrote on my instagram “have fun with your cheating asshole. f*cking b*tch”

what does that mean? i have not talked to my ex since he sent me that email. why does she think he is cheating on her with me? also, i dont even think she is his girlfriend yet. they have been dating only 2 weeks which I know because he just met her they met on a dating website the day after we had broken up.

admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:20 am

It sounds to me like this girl doesn’t like your arrangement “the break” that you have with your ex.
julie

September 1, 2013 at 1:17 pm

my ex just sent me an email apologizing:
“Sorry about that. I don’t know why she did that but she has some issues also and she got hammered last night (I wasn’t there btw so please don’t think I had anything to do with that). That was out of line. She sent me a bunch of crazy texts also thinking that I was still with you so I’ve got to deal with that shit too. Have a good weekend.”

You think he talked to her about me/told her about the 6 months thing? How does she even know who I am?
admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:21 am

How else would she know you? There is something fishy there.

Maybe she got ahold of his phone.

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