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Renee
June 8, 2016 at 1:51 am
Hi,
okay so background. Me and my Ex met the first week of school and completely clicked. we talked for a few months but he had just gotten out of a relationship with his baby mama and i wasn’t ready to be fully invested in a relationship for personal reasons. But in the meantime we built an amazing friendship and eventually around November we started dating. In January we fought (baby mama drama) and instead of handling it we just got mad and broke up. He had met this girl from work and hung out with her for a couple of weeks and i hung out with this guy friend of mine. that ended and he started saying he couldn’t trust me and that i cheated and that i was with people in the beginning when i knew he cared. (we agreed not to date, the boundaries were defined) and all my friends agree it wasn’t cheating. I agreed we both made mistakes and that moving forward we could work it out together. the whole last 5 months we were together ( not officially dating) and he said he still couldn’t trust me. One day about two weeks ago he just blocked me out of his life completely and finally i talked to him yesterday. I said he had met someone in the last week and didn’t want to be with me because he wished i hadn’t “cheated” otherwise we would have been married by now. and he doesn’t want to mess up this relationship. He says she is older than him and they have known each other for a while and rekindled in the last week. but than he said if we give it the summer and we don’t talk he thinks it will give us time to heal and he would consider being in a relationship again.
Is this a rebound for him? and am i stupid to actually think he may give us another chance or should i just try and move on completely. He is a very hard headed man but honestly i love him so much. I need advice please!
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 8:17 am
HI Renee,
He thinks you cheated but you didn’t, and it looks like he thinks like because he is like what he thinks.. he’s always involved with a girl
Mira
June 5, 2016 at 8:59 pm
Hey,so two weeks ago me and my boyfriend broke up.He wanted it and now he is with another girl but the other night he was at the same club as me with his friends and her.I was talking with a mutual friend of ours and he was starring the whole time at our direction and then wrote me and showed me he was jelous. And he did that 2-3 times. Is he in a rebound relationship and do I have to keep my hope that we will get back together?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 5:33 am
Hi Mira,
are they still together?
Jackie
June 1, 2016 at 1:34 am
Hi so I had another comment not too long ago but I forgot where it is. So a little background is my ex & I dated for a total of 5 months. Talked for 3 which was pretty much considered to be dating in my book. The last month he was very elusive & he would state things that he was mad about in a very riddle type of way. I’ll admit I did kind of become boring & insecure while we together & he did use Facebook to glory with other girls. We broke up for sure March 21 & a week later he called me on video chat. 2 weeks after that I made the mistake of seeing him & that was while I was in a distraught state of mind. My house was a mess, I had lost a little weight at the time also so things did not look good. However I started no contact after & he would reach out about every 9 days. My last text convo with him was April 24th. I shut my fb down bc it’s so hard for me not to share sad memes. I looked at his page & he’s sharing relationship memes with comments about his “wife” or how great sex is now. Sex was one our issues bc I am inexperienced so I’m not sure if he’s really happy to not be with me & doesn’t care that he’s hurting me or if he’s just showboating the new relationship to get under my skin. What do you all think? Do youthink he’s truly overme for now? Ps I did shut my page back down bc I plan on opening it back once I’m more comfortable with my “new look” i.e. weight & new found “happy life”. Do you think that’s a good idea?
Jackie
June 1, 2016 at 2:39 am
Thanks Amor! Do you think I should keep my fb account closed since I am on the whole “Ungettable Girl” journey. I don’t think I’ve made enough progress to show on my profile just yet but idk how to go about it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 11, 2016 at 7:49 am
it’s better if you make it public.. your actions doesn’t have to be big, what’s more important is that you’re making progress little by little
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 1, 2016 at 2:04 am
HI Jackie,
I found your first comment. I’m going to paste my answer to that and answer your update too:
EBR TEAM MEMBER: AMOR
April 18, 2016 (Edit)
Hi Jackie,
the sex definitely has an effect, but the best you can do now is to make the most out of nc.. Improve yourself, and grow.. there’s no harm there.. so whatever happens, you only gained improvements for yourself and confidence.
okay, now he’s being disrespectful if that’s for you. The wife comment is something you can just shrug off but honestly the sex thing looks more for you.. and it’s not nice. That is very disrespect. You should restart the count of nc now and start to heal and improve yourself and then decide after it, if you still want to try.
Life's complicated
May 30, 2016 at 2:01 pm
We did not fight prior. In fact he was aware that his mom would arrange marriages for him and he did tell me about them. I trusted him to push them away too. I did not expect him to “backoff” or change his mind last minute. In fact I don’t understand his decisions at all.
What should I do? I feel that it is not really very practical or doesn’t make sense to just meet someone and get married within the next two months. Moreover its an arranged marriage. I have read every article I could online but am still not able to find a reason.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2016 at 2:24 pm
Hi Life’s complicated,
it depends on his will power and his financial capability.. if his financially able not to rely in his parents, then there’s a chance that he might not agree with the marriage but if he’s not strong enough to say no, that will be hard
Alina
May 28, 2016 at 4:19 am
Hi EBR,
We did not have a broke up. He went back home to meet this girl and within 2 days he posted on facebook his relationship with this gf of his. She was a girl introduced to him by his mother via matchmaking. The very same day I was crazy and became a text gnat. I kept calling till the point his new gf answered and passed he phone to him.
He told me to understand him and that given our character, background and culture we could not be together. I told him not to give up about us and that his moving to a new relationship too fast. Even without a proper breakup? He told me his mother did not want him to go back so he had decided to stay. I was mad and pissed I kept telling him to come back and we could discuss it and he told me he was not coming back. In which I told him I could visit. We quarrelled and he hung up a d blocked me.
The next day he called me and told me he won’t be coming back and he wants to be good friends with me still and that I would be able to find someone better. Time would be able to let my heart be at peace and that the heat I’m getting now is due to emotions. I congratulated him and we ended the call.
Throughout the week he kept trying to contact me but I did not respond and finally gave in as I was rather irritated by the calls and wanted to know what he wanted to tell me. He told me he loved me and told me to understand him and no matter what happens he will remember me and wants me to be his good friend. He said he wanted to come back. I was confused so I asked him why he wanted to come back and if its confirmed. As I was really confused and did not want to create another emotional event I ended the call abruptly claiming I was busy.
Another week passed and he called me telling me he was sure he wanted to come back. I told him if that was the case we should reconsider our relationship and give it another try. He mentioned about the happy times we had together and even talked about meeting up for lunch and all when his back. I seriously asked him about reconciling but he told me he have decided to get married in June and was preparing for wedding. I told him to reconsider as I felt he did not love his gf. He told me he would love her after she gives birth to their first child. I was devastated and he told me their parents already met and if he called off the wedding his family would not have the face to meet anyone.
A few days later he put his whole proposal on facebook. The next day I called him and told him to spare a thought for me to not ever come back. I told him I will feel better that way, in which he rejected the idea. But I pleading and he did not answer. I also told him we couldn’t be friends he told me he understands and I could block him on facebook etc. I told him to stop posting such post just keep them to himself. (He doesn’t post much on facebook especially about his personally life, maybe only pictures with friends like big groups, he doesn’t even posts any selfies and is quite an introvert) He said if I did not want to see his pictures I can block him on facebook. I told him I won’t block him because that is just not me. I have nothing to hide. We ended the call with me telling him to consider and not come back. To inform me of his decision when his ready.
I have since not spoken to him for 2weeks? 14days?
Please advise if this sounds like a rebound and if there is any case to change the situation.
I have my personal thoughts to all that is happening but I am not sure. Since then he never posted any other updates on his facebook. He stopped messaging or calling too. What should I do? Is there still anything I can do? He said he was getting married in June but he have yet to post any updates etc.
Alina
May 30, 2016 at 4:20 am
He called last night but I did not answer, he only called once and did not message.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2016 at 11:20 am
Hi Alina,
getting married is a serious decision.. I don’t understand why he would do that as rebound, did you fight before that happenened? because if not,it does look like he is really in an arranged marriage
Jordan
May 25, 2016 at 2:16 am
Hi,
I’m Jordan. My ex and I were best friends for about a year and a half before we started dating. We dated for two and a half years before he broke up with me. We broke up because I got irritated at something really stupid and made a big deal out of it, I know that this was my mistake. Though there were no signs of a break-up before then since we were making plans to move in with each other, start a family and get engaged within the next few years. The day we broke up, it came out of the blue. The day before we broke up, he said how happy he was with me and everything. It was that evening that I got irritated and felt like he was “ignoring” me then he broke up with me the next day. A week and a half later, he tells me he has started dating this girl who he had met the night of our break up (they met at a mutual gaming club at his college). Though he had told me on the phone the night before they started dating that he would be interested in getting back together in a while, that he still loved me and missed me. Yet he started to date this girl. To me this is screaming “rebound”, but it has been around 3 months since then (though they hang out significantly less than before). I believe 100% that, even though we’re currently broken up, that he is my “one” and these feelings were mutual between him and I. We talk about one or twice a week currently. Is there hope that he and I could get back together? Is this girl a rebound for him? I’m really confused and hurt still, I’ve tried moving on by dating and flirting with others but it just doesn’t feel right…
kayla
May 31, 2016 at 5:57 am
Hi Jordan after reading your post i understand your feelings of being ment to be no matter how much you try to move on..
My ex boyfriend has been hanging out with a textbook rebound girl almost imediently after the break up (we were together 5.5 yrs and it was out of no where to me). she moved away for the summer but im told they are still talking etc.
I am hurt although i know its meaningless, but most of all frustrated. Why cant men see they are only hurting themselves by not dealing with the breakup by a distraction as well as hurting us and pushing us further from coming back to… His friends are only supporting him “being happy and having fun” and i dont believe anyone has expressed the damage this rebound is actually doing to him…
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2016 at 9:56 am
Hi Jordan,
yeah it looks like a rebound..but since you remained in his life, there isn’t a sense of urgency from to get back with you.. try to do no contact now
Kathryn
May 20, 2016 at 6:22 pm
Hi Brad,
I have a problem because I met a guy online who I thought was perfect for me. We had been talking for 6 weeks all with the intent of meeting. I explained to him that due to my job as a doctor I had difficulty in seeing him during the week and when we asked each other to meet on a couple of the weekends either I was working on that specific weekend or he was busy when I was free. We finally agreed to meet on a day which was suitable for both of us and he suggested we go to a specific Thai restaurant and he said he would call me nearer the time for final confirmation.
However I never heard anything from him for 12 days and I wanted to give him space and not appear needy or clingy. Before this 12 day gap we were messaging evry 2-3 days, sometimes daily at the start so this 12 gap was the longest we’d gone without talking to each other.
I then messaged him saying hi how are you because it had got to the start of the week that we were due to meet and he hadn’t contacted me at that point. He then told me that within the last week’s he had met someone else and felt guilty talking to me outside of that. I was devastated and absolutely shocked as I never thought he would see someone else. I had explained to him at the start of our communication that I was bsuy for the next few weeks but would be free to meet up from mid May onwards and he told me he was willing to wait. I then messaged him to see if my unavailability was the reason for him seeing someone else and he said no it was purely because he had met this person very frequently during the last 2 weeks. He then told me that he is uncomfortable to continue to talk to me as he has started to see this person properly. He then wished me luck with my search for someone else.
I am absolutely shocked at how he has behaved. I actually deleted my dating profile out of respect for him because I didn’t want other guys messaging me when I was trying to get to know him. I really felt a connection with him and am just so upset at how things have turned out. I can’t believe that he just stopped messaging me and started seeing someone else, as if my feelings do not matter. Had I not messaged him to say hi how are you, he would not have even told me that he met someone else. I suspect he just expected me to disappear and not contact him.
Despite my disgust at how he has treated me the worrying thing about this is that I still want to meet him, despite him making it clear that he is now in a relationship with this other person. Am I best off waiting for him to see if he contacts me should this relationship fail or do I find someone else. I felt that this guy was perfect for me and I feel awful saying this but I wish e would leave her and at least give me achance. I think he was so naive to end contact with me having not met me which makes me angry. How can I avoid this situation happening again with future love interests as I really feel very very hurt by the actions of this guy?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 25, 2016 at 1:11 pm
Hi Kathryn,
get to know the guy first before giving all if your trust and investing deep feelings..especially if you meet him through a dating app because there is actually no foundation of friendship
Glenda McCauley
May 17, 2016 at 1:02 pm
My name is Glenda and I want to share with you a story. I dated this guy for about a year. He was a single father, and I was a single mother. I have two daughters, and he had one. We kind of had a lot of things in common. Especially the fact that we were single parents so after a while we fell in love. Well, we were together for about a year 11 months to be exact. we always took trips together with the kids we were basically a family. His family loves me entirely his mother, his grandmother, his aunties his cousins everybody loves me and I love the way that I treated his daughter. We were truly madly in love with each other but he did things that hurt me on multiple occasions. Well to make a long story short when times got really hard we decided we should move to a place where there was more opportunity. I started feeling like since we had to make such a big change, we should take things more seriously and try to better ourselves for our kids. So I went and enrolled in school and I expected him to follow or at least trying to find a job but he just didn’t. So I ended the break up because even though we were engaged to be married I didn’t trust him and I feel like he stopped trying that the most important time of our relationship. before we had moved from Los Angeles we were living in the motel because his grandmother where we were staying with before, lost her place so we were staying at a motel for about a month. We have struggled together We Cried together we laughed together we were always together. So when I said he wasn’t taking things seriously and when he was doing things to hurt me I broke it off with him. I wanted to do things that would help me and my child and I didn’t see things working out with him anyway. He was always pointing the finger at me saying I’m always out to hurt him or saying that I’m cheating on him when in fact I believe he was the one who was cheating on me maybe not physically but emotionally. Well after I had reached my Breaking Point I told him to leave and go back to his hometown in Los Angeles. I was very embarrassed by his lack of support by his lack of productivity and we were around my family so my family had very strong negative feelings about him too. After he left which was in December we didn’t speak for a while. And one day we were having a very deep conversation in which he kept putting his feelings out to me telling me that he missed me and he loves me and he’s never going to find another relationship like the one he had with me. I believe that because his family even said he was a whole different person while him and I were together. He often told me that I allowed him to love again, and I honestly believe that. One Night in February we were having a very deep conversation in which he was opening up to me and he told me that he slept with someone else, and told me that he was in a relationship with this girl but he didn’t really like her. Vocalise to me that she was just a rebound somebody that can fulfil his physical needs, but he still loved me. He would say things that would imply that he wasn’t serious with this new girl but he would never say that he wanted me back. I found out a few days ago they broke up and my question to you is will he come back will he try to come back? I recently got reconnected with an ex who may have the potential for me. He’s somebody who’s motivating, working taking care of business and to me that is very attractive. But there’s that one little piece of me that still Miss Roy which is the ex-boyfriend I just broke up with. How do I know that he’s even given this whole situation a single thought every time we have a conversation he tells me the same things that he loves me and he misses me and you’ll never find another like me but he never said he wants to get back with me which is not something that I want anyway it just confuses me how men act. What should I expect out of this whole situation doesn’t sound like he’s in a rebound relationship do you think that he will come back? Thank you.
Glenda McCauley
May 30, 2016 at 4:50 am
We haven’t spoken in a month because I’m doing no contact the last thing I told him was that I wasn’t going to beg to be in his life and I wasn’t going to beg him to be in my life. I know that the girl he’s with he told me he was unhappy with, and they broke up already twice. I’m not really sure what’s going on I don’t want him back I just wanted to know if he was going to try to come back
Glenda McCauley
May 26, 2016 at 3:09 am
I told him that I was in contact with him but he doesn’t know that him and I have been spending time together I never really tell him about the things that him and I do and I haven’t spoke to him in over a month.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 29, 2016 at 12:13 pm
If the question is will he try to come back, and if I’m going to base it on what you said and that he hasn’t initiated in a month, it looks like he really isn’t going back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 9:14 am
Hi Glenda,
does he know that you reconnected with your other ex?
Apaol
May 16, 2016 at 10:17 pm
Hi,
I would like to know how to handle this situation; I’m not sure if I was the re-bounder or if he is right now having a re-bounder.
He was my boyfriend for 1 year and 2 months, before we met us, he was single for one year, before that year he had a girlfriend and he tried with her two times (Rose).
During our year, we travel a lot, and we made plans for getting married, we talked about future children, I felt that I was really important for him and he was in love with me, I’m aware that we had an intense relationship the first 6 months, and he used to talk a lot about his ex-girlfriends including Rose, but he had bad memories about her.
He broke up with me and now three months later is back with her for the third time, I don’t know if she is being use as rebounder of the relationship with me, or if I was the rebounder of them.
I don’t understand how he can comeback with her, she treat him badly in the past. I feel so bad in this moment, I would prefer 1000 times that he was dating someone new, but now I’m not sure if I was important.
Thanks
Apaol
May 16, 2016 at 10:20 pm
I’m doing NC since we break up.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 7:17 am
Hi Apaol,
that’s good that you’re doing nc.. Actually it looka like you are the rebound..You should read this post
EBR 034: Are YOU The Rebound For Your Ex Boyfriend?
Jessica
May 15, 2016 at 5:08 pm
Hi,
I was in an online relationship with a guy for about 2 months (3 months depending on who’s counting). I’m from New York and he was from Toronto. We met up twice, but I ended the relationship because of his own insecurities. I’ve deleted everything on my social media accounts in regards to our relationship, but he hasn’t. Everything that he ever posted is still there (he was pretty persistent with his online affections, let me add). Before we got together, I was well aware of his string of relationships (that didn’t last long either) and his emotional, expressive ‘passion’, but I brushed it aside. Currently, it was been almost 3 months since we’ve broken up and about two weeks ago, a friend of mine, told me that he’s subtly been posting pictures and leaving flirty comments to another woman. Would you say that this is the beginnings of a rebound relationship?
I really need some clarity.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 19, 2016 at 7:26 am
Hi Jessica,
if you’re relationship was only 3 months, and now it’s been 3 months too since the break up, it looks like it’s not rebound because you only had a short lived relationship and it was only online.
Tia
May 14, 2016 at 11:19 pm
Hi! I was called a rebound by my now husbands ex girlfriend. I believe they where together for around 4 years maybe 4.5. I however dated and lived with my husband in 1998 before my mother helped end our relationship. She did not like us together so she threatened him a lot. Well anyway I had moved on and we reunited 2014. We had actually been friends since our first break up in 98. He did not like his last girlfriend at all because she became a pest wanting to get married. She was so mean to him or tried to buy his affection. Well Him and I started dating after he split from her. This was like within a week after their break up, that we got back together. Little do she know is she was the “real” rebound this whole time. My husband has always wanted to be married to me and only me, so everyone else through out life was just like a rebound to him.
WE are now very happily married. He does not talk to or have interest in seeing his ex.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 9:10 am
Hi Tia,
so there’s actually no problem with your relationship? Just let the ex rant, she’ll look more annoying to you husband if she keeps doing that..
Belaid
May 9, 2016 at 5:53 pm
Hey,
I date a girl for 2 years, we have had a lot of good times and i got to know her family, they like me and we loved each other, we were in a distance relationship, and to hide this fact i visited her every 2 months for 10 days, she lives in Hungary and i live in Belgium, so after 1 year and half we started to have arguments all the time about little things, but we kept loving each other, and one time we agreed that our relationship is getting weak with the time, but she told me that she is more busy with her school and exams and she can not put so much efforts, in my last visit to her she rejected at the last minute to meet me after we agreed to meet and i took the flight to her country and at the end she told me she can’t meet me, then i didn’t want argue with her but later and she texted me that she will meet me the day before i will move back to Belgium, i accepted it, we met and we kissed for 2 hours and then she apologised to me, a month later i tried to break up with her like 4 times but i couldn’t because she begged me to not do it, she cried and she told me that everything can be better in the future.
so with this hope we started to talk less and sometimes she disappeared the whole day and texted me at the end of the day to say : (i love you )before she sleeps, the problem is that i see her during the day using instagram and fb but i was always wondering why does she have time for instagram and not for me. i didn’t understand her, she wanted me but at the same time she didn’t make any efforts.
2 months later, the situation was still the same, we were in love but not like before, our relationship was more boring and talking was leading us to arguments. so we talked less. so i decided to take the courage and break up, then i did it, and she was surprised that i did. then she few hours later she said that yea it wasn’t going to work and that we always argue….etc, at that moment i felt like she moved on very quick, and i tried the following day to get her back, ( i know i’m stupid that i did this ) but she said she can’t and she feels weak for a relationship for the moment, then she rejected me twice, and one week later her cousin told me that she is meeting a new guy and they are interested in each other, and then i realized that she rejected me because she planned her life with him, but in this situation i don’t know if this is a rebound because i can’t believe she moved on this quick. after she rejected me she asked me to stay friends and i rejected it, and she said that she still cares about me and need me in her life, but i rejected because i can’t see her as a friend and she also agreed that she will can’t look at my eyes as friend. she begged me to not delete her from fb and she wanted to keep in touch with me, then i asked her if is it over between us forever and she said she can’t know the future, but for now it is over.
now she is trying to make me jealous by saying that her new boy is very nice and funny and she enjoyed her time with him. but they are not in relationship yet but they plan to be with each other.
honestly i still love this girl, and i felt shocked of how fast she moved on, i broke up 3 weeks ago and she started talking to that boy like 2 days later i guess. and the met last week once. and when i ask her if she loves him, she tells me that she is confused and she doesn’t know what she feels for him. so she confuses me too. it’s just so hard for me to get over her, i wake up with her in my mind and memories and i just can’t handle seeing her or hearing that she is going out with another boy.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 10, 2016 at 3:55 am
Hi Belaid,
did she met him before your break up? if so, it’s not really a rebound but a grass is greener case.. start with no contact now… and improve yourself physically, socially and emotionally.. Go out with friends and be active in posting your activities.. She’ll compare you to him, so after the honey moon period is over or if they have a fight and she sees you’re happy, she’ll miss you.
Stephany
May 7, 2016 at 5:11 am
So my ex relationship was pretty complicated. I dated my ex for about 3 years – 2 of which we were engaged and lived together. After the 3rd year mark we split because of his lying and a lot of arguing. I moved out and he stayed in our home until the lease was up. We started hanging out and had a friends with benefits relationship until he moved into his own place down the road from me. He said his goal was to get his life together, stay close to me, and win me back again so we can get married. I told him that I couldn’t officially get back together with him until he proved to stop lying and get his life together. For the next 2 years we were practically a couple behind closed doors but “friends” to everyone else. We actually did become best friends and saw each other every day. Although we now lived apart and we kept a good front, to us nothing really changed. We treated each other as BF & GF and did not date anyone else. We continued to have issues throughout those 2 years which is why I never made it official. We had a lot of “break up” and “make up” fights until our fights got so out of hand (a lot of resentment). He told me he only wanted to be with me and no one else, until one day out of no where he told me he couldn’t do it anymore. He told me he loved me and I will always be his first choice but he couldn’t see us getting passed this. I was left in shock – it was so unlike him. He began to be very cold and we stopped talking. Only days later I found out he was already talking to someone else who he sought out through a dating app. They made it official just 3 weeks later and now are engaged after 4 months. They seem so in love on social media and he’s seems so into her. She is kind of like me in many ways but also has many differences (hard to explain). His family loves her and welcomes her since they thought our relationship was toxic and wanted me out of the picture. They are very controlling of his life and don’t know half the things we went through in our relationship. Needless to say, it has been 5 months since we OFFICIALLY “broke up” and I have followed the no contact rule. But at this point I feel like they’re pretty serious now that they’re engaged. They are moving pretty fast but I also know that out fights probably left a horrible taste in his mouth. I’m afraid that our good memories have been shattered by all the recent bad ones and he doesn’t think highly of me anymore. Is this not a rebound relationship?
Stephany
May 13, 2016 at 5:48 pm
Hi Amor! Thank you for your response. Although not what I wanted to hear, I really do appreciate it. So I guess at this point there’s no way of getting him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 6:06 am
they’re engaged.. they may be honeymoon period..but it’s better to live in reality that they are engaged and you should move on
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 6:31 pm
Hi Stephany,
I”m afraid not anymore..
Mel
May 6, 2016 at 12:51 am
Hi. A guy friend of mine just broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years, when they started a long distance relationship 6months before breaking up since he moved to another country to work. Initially gf was supposed to relocate to where he is but did not, hence the break off.
Within a week of breaking up, he went straight into a relationship with another girl. He confided in me and ask me for an honest opinion what I think about it,etc. I told him he was moving a bit too fast and at this point of time it would be a good idea to spend sometime alone, to sort his feelings out, reflect on what went wrong (when a r’ship breaks down its not only one party’s fault),etc. He got really offended and said that I must be really disappointed in him for moving on too fast, and he cares what I think of him,etc. I told him since he ask for my honest opinion,
well,that’s my opinion. Plus, he need not take my comments too seriously as long as he knows what he is doing and he is ok with it, it’s fine. Plus I do not want to know every detail about his personal life,etc
After that meeting, he started acting cold towards me. We are still in touch, but it’s not the same anymore. Did i do anything wrong for being honest with him? how should I be around him again when we meet up or when he ask for advice again? I think he is using that girl he just met as a rebound. I just do not want to hurt his feeling by saying that he is on a rebound.
Hope you can advice me on how to handle the situation. Thank you
Mel
May 10, 2016 at 8:12 am
Ah.. I see. =) thank you for the advice
Mel
May 9, 2016 at 7:38 am
Hi Amor,
Thank you very much for your reply. Appreciate it =) He is 32years old. Does age play a factor in having a rebound relationship?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 9, 2016 at 4:52 pm
nope, I”m asking because of how he reacted to your advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 9:53 am
Hi Mel,
how old is he? it depends, if he approaches you again that just means he moved on from your last convo… you gave the right advice but if he’s sensitive about it, just ask him next time about what he feels,what he’s planning to do, for him to be the one to reflect on his actions
Stephy
May 6, 2016 at 12:48 am
My case hit all of these signs except one, which makes me worry. We were together for a year and living together and while I won’t go into the details of why we broke up, let’s just say he made it clear that he was focusing on the bad when he broke up with me three weeks ago. He definitely put the blame on me; he’s a super sensitive guy so I’m trying to be understanding here but I know i’m not solely responsible for the breakup. I did find out that within 2 weeks of breaking up with me he was already seeing another girl. I’m mostly confident that this is a breakup but he made me out to be someone so hurtful to him that he would need a lot of time to recover and told me not to contact him until he decided to contact me and that he’d have to want to. He said a lot of hurtful things that made it sound like he’d been hiding his unhappiness for a long time, which all came to head when we broke up. I know we had many more good times than bad, he’s just letting the bad weigh more heavily on him. I don’t know what to think of this because I feel like I’ve been disposed of and replaced by someone (did I mention this girl has the SAME name as me?). Is this a rebound and will he ever reach out to me again?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 8:57 am
Hi Stephy,
did you have a fight before you broke up? Was the girl present even before you break up and were you posting your recent activities..I mean did it seem like you’re moving on?
Veronica
April 30, 2016 at 9:16 pm
Alright. I’m trying to figure out if my ex is in a rebound relationship, or a relationship at all. We broke up about a month ago. My ex and I were together for over 3 years. He’s the most emotional and sensitive person I’ve ever met, honestly more sentimental than most women I know. He’s way way more emotional than me, even though he ended the relationship. He can’t explain why he broke up with me. His friends and family say they don’t exactly know why he ended it either. He needs emotional closeness and emotional bonds with people, it’s just who he is. We had a really great relationship, really nothing was wrong. We have some great memories from the past 3 years together. However, I found out only 2 weeks after we broke up that he was going to prom with another girl. He got rejected from prom (due to some bad blood with the prom director), and she didn’t go to prom either. Come to find out he’s planning HIS OWN prom WITH this girl. They’re planning it together. I’ve also seen the two of them hanging out together on social media. However, he very rarely posts anything on social media, maybe once every few days, so I don’t know if they’re officially dating or not. Here’s the weird part. She’s dating someone else. BUT, she never posts about her boyfriend at all on any social media (and she’s on social media A LOT), which i find to be strange. I also don’t know why her boyfriend would let her go to prom with another guy, plan a prom with another guy, and hang out one-on-one with another guy. I know she has a boyfriend, but it seems like they’re not very close possibly? She’s also leaving for college several hours away in only a month on June 1st (not sure why she’s going 2 months early, but she is) so I’m not sure what’s going on here. It’s such a bizarre situation.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 2:06 pm
Hi Veronica,
let’s say nothing is going on between them.. and maybe the boyfriend of the girl is even included in their makeshift prom.. did you do no contact? or are you about to do it?
Veronica
April 30, 2016 at 10:59 pm
Let me give some background information on this girl since I didn’t give any. They met when he did a small theater production back in September. They texted a little, but I saw the messages and there was just nothing suspicious at all. She’s extremely outgoing and very friendly towards everyone. She’s also very popular at her school (my ex and I were home-educated, but she goes to public school). We’re pretty much opposites (brown vs blonde hair, short vs tall, subdued vs ambitious, introvert vs extrovert). My ex used to go to some of her school plays and band concerts, but he always invited me to go with him. I’m sure there was nothing going on between them before we broke up, just trust me on this one. He always made sure everybody knew he had a girlfriend. I can tell they’ve grown closer in the month after our breakup. I’m not sure if they’re secretly dating, maybe he likes her or vice versa, or they’re just really close friends. It’s really just such a strange situation.
Jean
April 26, 2016 at 3:16 pm
My ex broke up with me 4 months ago after 6 years of relationship. Before we broke up, we were having a huge fight after I found out he was close to another girl. He told me that there was nothing between them, just a close friend. When we broke uo, he told me that he was tired of this relationship and because I was to childish and also not supporting him enough. Last week after we met each other, he texted me and said that he still loves me but he believes if he stays, we will end up in the same situation again after a while. Next day I found out their chat by hacking his social media, that he is already together with that girl. I’m confuse. I’ve been working on myself since we broke up. I thought he wants to have time for himself. As he told me when we brokeup. He told me that he wants to be alone for a while, working on himself. He even told me that they are never gonna be together because he doesn’t want to have a long distance relationship. But now it proved, that he lied to me.
I asked my friend to confront him about his relationship with that girl. He just answered that that girl know my ex still can’t move on from me.
Do you think they are in a rebound relationship?
Please tell me what should I do now..
thanks
Jean
April 29, 2016 at 1:09 pm
for 21 days or 30 days?
Do you think they are in a rebound relationship?
He told my friend that he still has feeling for me but he doesn’t see any big change in my career life. I think that’s one of the reason he doesn’t want to come back. Does it mean he wants to come back only if I were successful? What the hell? don’t you think he kept making a reason for not come back? I know that I should be more serious about finding a job since I haven’t found a job yet.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 4:36 am
hmmm.. that’s bs reason.. it can be rebound if the real reason of the break up was your jealousy.. but if she’s the real reason, then that means it’s a grass is greener cast.. you should do 30, 21 is too short since you had 6 years together..
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 27, 2016 at 8:08 am
Hi Jean,
do nc.. first you need to have balance again..regain emotional stability and also portray that you’re not chasing him.. improve yourself and show him that he’s making a mistakr leaving you
Miss. A
April 24, 2016 at 6:45 pm
Hello Amor,
I dated my ex for 4 months and he ended things 2 weeks ago, very suddenly because he didn’t feel the same anymore. I had to stay in LC because he had some financial things to sort out. And he finally opened up that he felt like I didnt appreciate him in the relationship enough. But he didnt wanna work on it, he just ended it instead. And yesterday I found out he slept with someone else and has been talking to a new girl. I definitely think this is a rebound especially because he told me he doesn’t want a relationship right now because hes moving and there would be no point, but he also told me he might have feeling for this new girl and doesn’t know where it might go. I am going strictly no contact with him and I don’t plan on reaching out to him ever again. But there is still a part of me that feels like I can have hope he will come back. Is there any hope for us?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 26, 2016 at 4:02 pm
HI Miss A,
actually it’s less because he might be in honeymoon period with her and especially if he thinks you’re not appreciating him during the relationship.. It won’t help if you chase him because that would just make him protect her.. so that means the better chance is when they’re out of the honeymoon period and then he sees you’re doing great and misses you and sees you as the better choice.
JG
April 23, 2016 at 9:25 am
Hello,
I’m not quite sure if my ex is in a rebound relationship. We had a long-distance relationship of 2 months (we lived like 1 1/2 hours away from each other) He cheated on me with a another woman. He wanted to string us both along, because I found it out myself that he is in a second relationship with the OW. I confronted him and he had to tell the truth – he lied about the story how they met each other. He told me that they are only “talking” and that they are old friends (lie) . They know each other like a week and got into a relationship really really quick. This coward told me that he wrote me less so that I would note that something is wrong – what is also a lie, because we had huge fights and he is a master of the passive-aggressive. 2 days before we broke up, he told me that he needs time and that he lost his way to me, because he can’t quite trust me (Oh, the irony!). He said, that he wants to find the way back to me and that he has feelings for me and that is why, he gives me so many chances to do it right between us. 2 days after the conversation, we broke up and I went immediatly into No-Contact. While we broke up, he gave me the whole blame for the situation. He said things like “If you would have acted like the way we meet at the beginning, I would have gladly have a future with you.” / “She has a past, but she would change/ do everything for me! She is a goodhearted person and doesn’t act like a “slut” in bad times (I never did such a thing and he knows it – he was searching for failures, because he knew he did the most pathetic ones) / “You broke my heart three times and now I broke your heart for the first time!” (Boho, I was at the gym and at the spa – against his will) / “I really like her, so please don’t write her. Let me that kind of hope and be happy for me!” “I was such an idiot and begged him to stay, because I was really heartbroken – I wanted to have a future with him, meet his parents – he was perfect in my eyes, we had a lot in common ( it was insane how much) and we have the ability to have a future! After the broke up I went into No-Contact and stayed really hard on this. I worked out, I lost weight and I treated myself really good, but I was still heartbroken. He acted weird during the No-Contact, he was like in a depression-mode. He posted sad pictures in whatsapp (I only have him there, because I deactivated my facebook-account and he knows it), a huge fight between him and new girl was displayed in whatsapp, so that I could see that they were fighting, but I didn’t reacted to it. After a month and a week he texted me, but I didn’t replied, because I was like mad as hell. I ignored him and the second day he wrote me again, at the third day he wrote again. I answered short and we talked a few sentences with each other. I was polite towards him, but very cold. He doesn’t know that side on me, because I was like a clingy needy girl. He wanted to see me and I told him, that if he wants to see me, that he will come to my hometown. After the conversation I went again into No-Contact. After that, he was like depressed again. The new girl deactivated her second facebook-profile with the “in a relationship” – status and removed on both sites the picture from him and a quote.
My question would be now, is this a rebound-relationship? The other girl is the total opposite of me. She is a easy going, with lacked morals and has a different religion like him and me, she doesn’t have the curves he claimed to love and is really indifferent. She also lives 3 1/2 hours away from him – a lot more miles and hours than me and him- I had with him a lot in common, like the love to medicine (he is soon a doctor and I want to study medicine) and a lot more. They could never get married, they don’t have a future together and he knows it. He once told me, that he “hates” this kind of people. His parents would never accept a girl like her – they would accept me, because we are similiar. They are dating like almost 2 months and they had difficulties like us at the start.
Is this a rebound and when yes, what should I do next? Just stay in No-Contact and be the ungettable Girl?
I thank you so much for reading and answering my comment 🙂
JG
April 27, 2016 at 8:50 am
Hello Amor,
I have thought a lot about it and I want to move on, because I know that I can’t forget it and forgive him. He re-activated his instagram profile and I saw the whole infidelity on display. He doesn’t even kept it as a secret and was wooing over this new girl, while he was in a relationship with me and I was fighting for us. That’s why I want to move on, but I dont know if I should delete his number, blocking him or what should I do? It was really heartbreaking for me, although it was 2 months ago and that he will never change and will always cheat. Should I delete his number or let it unblocked? Because I don’t know what kind of message, it would send when I delete his number now. What should I do?
Thank you for your help 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 27, 2016 at 9:45 am
DO whatever makes you feel more at peace because whatever his reaction after that won’t matter anymore.
JG
April 23, 2016 at 5:32 pm
Dear Amor,
thank you for your quick answer! I really really want to move on, but I’m still devestated. I don’t show anything to him like sad quotes or something else. I’m always presenting myself happy and healthy, moving on and everything. I just really thought that she would be a rebound, because they are so incompatible. I don’t say it, because of jealousy – I just now his “morals” and his whole behaviour. He can’t have a future with her, because of their religion and roots. He is playing her, because he can get it physical with her and with me he has to wait. I don’t do anything towards him and I won’t do anything, because he have to prove himself that he want it and I really don’t know if I should take him back. I mean, he proved the quote “Once a cheater, always a cheater” – once cheating on me with her and the other one with cheating on her with me. What should I do? Just stay in No-Contact and do nothing?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 25, 2016 at 10:37 am
you may be right about her beinf a rebound..nope you have to be actively improving yourself during no contact..that’s your way of showing him he made the wrong choice of cheating..
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 23, 2016 at 3:24 pm
Hi Jg,
I’m sorry but it’s not.. rebound is when he is trying to move on and is using another person to do it.. but in your case, you’ve only been together for two months and he cheated and now that they are on the rocks, he’s going back to you.. it’s more like he’s a player.. If I were you, after all he said, you should move on from him.. we don’t know if he misses you because you became a challenge for him or because he thinks he can still get you back with just a litle effort..
if yiu really want him back.. let him work to have your trust again.. coz without it, especially that you’re ldr, it won’t work
Megan
April 23, 2016 at 2:51 am
I was in a relationship with my ex for about 5 months. I broke it off about 2 months ago because he was wanting us to be much more serious than I was looking for. Less than a month later, he was already Facebook Official with another girl (took him 3 months to agree to be FB official with me). They are still together now and are going to Operas together, which was what me and my ex always did together. Is this a rebound relationship? I don’t particularly want to get back together with him, since he is probably still looking for a more serious commitment than I am ready for, but I want to get back in touch, since he was a big part of my life for the time we were together. I’m just unsure about how to proceed. Any advice? Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 23, 2016 at 2:41 pm
Hi Megan,
it looks like it is because it’s just less than a month.. make it more natural.. is there going to be an important event in his life soon? Or when he posts something that the two of you can relate too, comment to it..