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Post categories
Kelsey
April 7, 2017 at 12:30 pm
I feel that my situation is a little stressful and different so i hope you all can help me. My boyfriend and I had broken up around christmas time after 7 1/2 years due to me finding out he was initially having an emotional affair with a coworker and then he began sexting her and sending nude photos back and forth to her via snap chat. I am unsure how long the emotional affair had gone on due to the fact the past year I had my own emotional and personal turmoil I had to handle. Because of this, and this is where I accept my involvement in the problem, I had become withdrawn from him and was no longer communicating or engaging with him. I digress though. Christmas time we broke up with a huge physical fight because he wasn’t willing to give up contact with this other girl. The problem we had was we were still living together and had no way of moving out at the time. I remained living in the same house with him until the middle of February. During that time I had tried giving him everything he wanted, be it sex, more time with him etc. I was also begging and trying to get him to try and fix us and to stop contact with the other girl, which he never did. During that time he also began to see her more, after work and on the weekend when I was at the house. I was devastated and could no longer take it so I decided to move home with my family.
When I moved home I took all of our pets with me, something that really upset him because he wanted to keep the cats. I had indicated to him that there were consequences to cheating and that was his consequence. I brought the animals into the relationship and they were to leave with me. That is when things started to go down hill. He stated if he didn’t get to have the cats then he never wanted to see me again and if I didn’t give him what he wanted, the exact way he wanted, and be willing to “lose” for once in our relationship we would never get back together or try. The following week he also moved out of the house into an apartment. That weekend he had the girl he cheated on me with over. She has been involved in his life since. He states she hasn’t replaced me, that he still loves me and misses me however believes we would never work out and is excessively mad at me. Claims I had to always get my way and wanted to get his way for once: getting an NSA relationship and the cats as well as being allowed to continue the interactions with the other girl. The main irritation he had with me was that he claimed I put everything else in my life above him, even though he did the same. He wanted to be one of the most important things in my life and he felt that he wasn’t. WELL, with this new girl she has a child, a young child. Children dominate their parents life and that child will be more important to her in the end, so he is getting himself into the same situation. states that they aren’t dating, I guess he is getting everything that he wants from her without the label. I just found out today though that they probably are dating and just not posting it online. He recently unfriended me (this weekend) and that is because she posted their first tagged post together.
Anyways since I had moved out we had continued texting however all we did was fight. I wasn’t begging to be with him we were just arguing about who was right and who was wrong and all that jazz and trying to convince him to actually try. I had enough of the fighting and tried no contact for a week however I had to break it due to being impulsive. I drove to his house last Monday, one week after NC and he wasn’t happy to see me. He has been overly angry and hateful to me this whole time and had those stipulation before even thinking about trying, however never stated that it would make a difference . Fast forward to last Thursday. He calls and accuses me of vandalizing her car. Tells me to never call, text or contact him and that they were filing a police report and listing me as a suspect. I had to contact him on Tuesday due to him still having some of my belongings (as well as maybe my passport) and he didn’t block me and actually responded. He is still very angry and I messed up again by asking him why he unfriended me, why he didn’t block me and talking to him about his “relationship” about getting with someone that has a child.
I am beginning the NC all over again however it makes me feel like things are hopeless. He replaced me with her immediately and has been interacting with her and saying things to her like he used to do with me. 7 1/2 years is hard to let go and I truly felt things were going ok (because he was no longer trying to talk to me about problems he had turned to her). I am unsure how long he was talking to her however he has worked with her for the last 3 years. All I can say is there have been no true good texts between us, he was always asking me to leave him alone and that I had my prizes what else did I need?
Please Chris, I need all of your help. I just purchased all of your product and as I have said reinitiated the NC and ended our conversation with wishing him the best. I am in shambles and can’t let go and feel that I could never recover from this with him. We are 3 months down the road from the official break up, a month and a half since truly seeing each other and now 1 day since NC. Please lend me all your help and strength to know if I can recover from the damage I have caused. I have been taking care of myself (lost weight and interacting with friends again) as well as pursuing school again. I just feel there is no hope
Kelsey
April 5, 2017 at 6:05 pm
Was with my boyfriend for a little over 7 years and we had broken up around Christmas. The reason for the break up was me finding out he was having an emotional affair that started becoming sexual (sexting, sending naked pictures etc). The past year was a bad year for me emotionally and I had to focus on rebuilding myself and my confidence as an individual. Because of this I had become withdrawn from him and things in my life, this is the reason he claims he turned to the other girl and started cheating (because he no longer felt important to me and that I had put my phone, work and my family ahead of him). Anyways we broke up and had a huge fight at the time where we became physical (i smacked him and threw some things at him). At the time we were still living together and had to continue living together. I attempted to kick him out a couple times which led to bigger fights. During this time he was still in contact with the other girl, continued seeing the other girl and wasn’t really sorry for cheating on me. Fast forward to the middle of February. In that month and a half I had tried giving him exactly what he wanted, however didn’t make a difference of course and he began being more forward and open with seeing and doing things with this other girl. I had Kept trying to talk to him and work things out, this only made him angrier and was pushing him away. Middle of February was all I could handle living with him and I moved out and took all of our animals with us. He became angry and wanted the cats back (claimed he would try and work on things however still would not get rid of the other girl and stated if I didn’t let him have the cats he would never want to see me again.) Within tHe next week he had to move out of the house we were living in and since then she has been in his life, literally replacing me. I have attempted the no contact since I have moved out however it never stuck for more than a week. We were fighting every day and not getting anywhere yet he has continued to have her in his life. He claims he doesn’t know if he wants to be with her (she has a child) and hasn’t stated that he is dating her and with how quickly she replaced me I feel she may be a rebound or he is using her since she is giving him everything he wants without the commitment. I have restarted the NC after we have finally had some of our belongings sorted and exchanged. The most recent time he didn’t want me being anywhere close to him, preferred to mail things to each other. He hasn’t blocked me however he has unfriended me on social media. We were very much in love, were talking about marriage and moving forward with each other. Is there any way things between us can be fixed when she is still in his life and he doesn’t want to let her go. He didn’t want to let her go for us to fix our relationship before I founded out he was cheating sonthat was my clue he was cheating. Have i traveled to far past the point of no return? This last time we talked he stated he still loves me and misses me and always will however he hasn’t shown any desire to be with me. Will her being in his life prevent him from wanting to come back?
Kelsey
April 9, 2017 at 9:56 am
Amor,
I have started NC and have plans to never talk to him again about her, ever. I am now 5 days in and how can he see that I am moving on via posts if he isn’t my friend on Facebook? We do have mutual friends on Facebook however no one that actually talks to both of us or even sees both of us. He can’t see anything on my Facebook other than when i update a profile picture.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2017 at 5:27 pm
that’s ok..just keep posting and make them public..so that he has posts to see of he gets curious now or while building rapport
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 7, 2017 at 1:47 pm
It’s not yet too late but you have to stop talking to him about the other girl, and to start looking like you’re moving on through your posts.. Be active in improving yourself..
Anna
March 31, 2017 at 9:02 pm
Hello! A month ago (after 5 perfect months together) I felt that something strange is happening with our relationship. I pushed him to tell me the problem and he said that he’s missing something, maybe he needs some time. I decided to do it but at the same time I was annoying and clingy. I suspected that he is texting someone and as I was very angry I went to his place to take all my stuff. We talked and of course he told me that there is no one else. 1 week after it he was officially in a relationship with some girl on Facebook for about one month (which means overlapping). The day that their “relationship” started was before our first conversation. So my question is – should I try to get him back or just to forget about him after all the lies?
Anna
April 3, 2017 at 5:39 pm
I definitely want him back but at the same time I’m very hurt. Anyways, it’s day 15 on the NC. I don’t have problems with it, but he hasn’t contacted me at all! Is this a bad sign? I know that now he is on the honeymoon stage, but is it possible that this ignore is because he hates me or he forgot about me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2017 at 3:18 pm
No, it’s ok if he doesn’t contact you.. What’s more important is that you heal and improve during and after nc.. check this one:
Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2017 at 2:50 pm
Hi Anna
that depends on you.. on your standards if you still want to give him a chance or to move on
Carin
March 29, 2017 at 11:08 pm
With boyfriend for 4 years. We still had a great friendship and physical connection. He was talking about marrying me earlier this year. We both have issues though which put a strain on our relationship. I’m in therapy. He was saying he needed to do therapy. Sometimes after a fight he would leave and not talk to me for days or even a week or two. I would always chase him, and he would come back. One time that pattern was different – last year he took a break, I did not chase him, and he really chased me instead.
Nearly 4 weeks ago he walked away after a minor fight but it was on his birthday. The next day I found out (TMI) that he was getting involved with a seedier part of life. I messaged him a kind, brief message to basically say: I knew what was going on with him, that I had therapy work to do, but he needed to do therapy as well if he wanted a relationship to work out. I also said that he was hard on me at times and withdrawing was cruel to me. He replied immediately to say it was no surprise to him that I had figured out what was going on. That was all he said and I did not reply.
That was 4 weeks ago. I have made no contact at all since then but he has not contacted me either. Now I am not chasing him, it seems he’s letting us go then? He is very handsome and charismatic and gets lots of other attention.
I was doing OK and working on myself but I am starting to feel heartbroken. I thought he would contact me after a few weeks. I guess I gave him a mild ultimatum? Do you think he will contact me?
Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 30, 2017 at 5:26 pm
hi Carin,
you can initiate contact after nc.. but if it was not focused in improving yourself and in posting in social media, you have to restart the count
Miss him
March 22, 2017 at 10:58 pm
I did all the wrong things to get him back. Drove by, snooped through his house when I was over, screamed at the new girlfriend, told his mom and dad about what he was doing as well as talked about it to a lot of others. 🙁 is there still hope to get him,back? We fought a lot because he was cheating and I shut down
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 25, 2017 at 5:41 pm
Hi Miss him,
yes, try no contact and genuinely change..
Sarah
March 22, 2017 at 2:09 pm
After dating someone for 7 months I find out he cheated on me with someone else. After them knowing each other for 4
months he moved a few things into her house. It has now been 5-6 months of them being together and are now listed as
in a relationship on Facebook. They recently went away together. I have done the no contact rule for the full 30 days and in that time I have lost 25lbs and have
made myself a better person. I got to the 7th day of the texting and seemed like things were going pretty well. Ever
since he got back from vacation with her, he has iniciated the first message but they are just vague ones. He has called
me by my nickname that he used to call me when we were together 3 times so far. Is he even a little interested and do
I still have any hope at getting him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 22, 2017 at 3:25 pm
Hi Sarah,
don’t rush.. It will take time, he’s still with her. You have to keep building rapport to the point that he will want to be with you rather than the other girl because you’re the better option and because he will lose you if he doesn’t. So, you have to keep being active in your activities and in going out too.
Clover
March 19, 2017 at 2:17 am
Hi. I have been dating this guy for 8 months. We really in love and last january i have to go back to my country for a month. He said he can wait and told me to enjoy my vacation. Everything is good so far until suddenly he didn’t text me or if he did it’s not like he want to text with me. He broke up with me on valentine But, 2 days before he broke up with me he called me and said that he really love me. I told him why? He just said he didn’t love me anymore and want to blocked all my contact. After a week i went to his country and talked with him, can we made up and everything is okay. But! Again after he said he love me i lost his contact for a week And last week i just know that he cheated on me with my coworker. It’s really hurt but i want him back. I want him back because after a month i still have the same feeling. And we can be a better person after this. I think the reason he cheated on me because he need “sex” since for a month the one that i could gave him is sex phone.
I begged him and cry. After what have i done can i get him back after 30 days NC rule??? Even if he was a person who will not back to his ex?like what he said??
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 24, 2017 at 8:06 am
Hi Clover
there’s no guarantee that it will work..it can only help increase your chances.. it’s better to do it,.improve yourself and heal than to chase him
Sarah
March 18, 2017 at 5:48 pm
So I was with this guy for 7 months all to find out for someone else. I did the no contact rule
for the full 30 days and in that time I made myself more attractive physically, mentally and emotionally. I have
tried the first contact and that went alright. I got up to the 7th day and things seemed pretty good. He was slowly
becoming attracted to me again which made me excited. I find out the other day that he went away with the chick he
cheated on me with and he has been with her for 5-6 months now. He contacted me the other day when he got back and we
started chatting but he wasn’t being very nice. Today he has looked to see if I messaged but have not and I don’t intend
to. He has also requested me to play a game with him today as well. He said she was just a friend and his fb status still
says he is single. Is he still into me and just had a bad day? or is he losing interest? Im not sure what to do now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 22, 2017 at 3:26 pm
Hi Sarah,
don’t rush.. It will take time, he’s still with her. You have to keep building rapport to the point that he will want to be with you rather than the other girl because you’re the better option and because he will lose you if he doesn’t. So, you have to keep being active in your activities and in going out too.
Sam
March 17, 2017 at 10:45 am
Hi
My husband of 28 yrs cheated on me with a girl at work. She is 15 yrs younger and never been married or has children. She is 36 and my husband and I are 50. She is covered in tattoos and piercings which he hates normally. He left to be with her in Dec 2014 but has come home 8 times but left within weeks to be with her. When he is with her he constantly says he wants to come home but difficult cuz he works with her and can’t just walk away after 2.5 yrs with her. Managed walk away from 28yrs and 2 kids and a mortgage though. He last came home 6 wks ago but has since gone. He kept saying I had nothing to worry about but I came home from work last week to find he had gone. He says she is now only a friend and that he has his own place so that he can have the kids every other weekend. He wants a divorce as she says he was never going get a divorce or sell the house. Sell house over my dead body! I believe he is having a midlife crisis but while he still works with her I am unable to gain my husband. I was amicable and offered him furniture to which he agreed and even said to the children mum and I will be speaking and texting etc but when I sent him some pics of furniture he sent a nasty email saying he needed this time and to stop Thisbe or will get a harassment order. I have ceased all contact. I don’t know where he is living. He now states wants divorce which he has said before but then done nothing about it so this time I have took the bull by the horns and applied myself. I see no other option now. He says his head is a shed and he wants to be able to do what he likes, when he likes and how he likes. As for the lying! Nothing is the truth that comes from his mouth. Do I love my husband? With all my heart, do I want him? Yes but I can’t see how to woo him back. I think end of the road for my marriage. Any ideas?
Thanks
Sam
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 21, 2017 at 4:10 pm
Hi Sam,
Try the advice above and check this one too:
The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
Dakota
March 10, 2017 at 4:53 am
Hi. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years 5 days ago. He cheated on me and confessed to me when I asked him why he hasn’t proposed to me yet. He cried and apologized. He told me he loves me from the bottom of his heart and he was so stupid.
I didn’t know anything about No Contact rule before because I never been in the situation, but my pride and dignity told me that I can’t let him have control over me. So I told him that until he clears all the mess he created, NEVER EVER contacted me again. I also showed him that I blocked him in Facebook and instant message app. He still has phone, iMessage and he knows where I live so it shouldn’t be a problem if he really wants to contact me again.
Then I dumped him. I told him that he is free to do whatever he wants, but if he wants me back in his life then do something.
He has to go to work in foreign country for 45 days on the day we broke up, so he asked me to wait for 45 days when he comes back. I told him, fine but don’t contact me during that time at all. I need time for myself too.
So, my case is a little bit different. I am the one who force him not to contact me for 45 days. I don’t regret what I asked him, but deep inside, I am so scared that he would forget me and move on without me.
I know he cheated and it was awful, but when we broke up he seemed so sad and weak. It’s his first time and we had been together for 9 years. If he is willing to make thing right, I will give him second chance and he acknowledged it.
I am devastated because it has been just 5 days. I can do nothing except really believe that NC rule works.
Sarah
March 18, 2017 at 6:13 pm
So I was with this guy for 7 months all to find out for someone else. I did the no contact rule
for the full 30 days and in that time I made myself more attractive physically, mentally and emotionally. I have
tried the first contact and that went alright. I got up to the 7th day and things seemed pretty good. He was slowly
becoming attracted to me again which made me excited. I find out the other day that he went away with the chick he
cheated on me with and he has been with her for 5-6 months now. He contacted me the other day when he got back and we
started chatting but he wasn’t being very nice. Today he has looked to see if I messaged but have not and I don’t intend
to. He has also requested me to play a game with him today as well. He said she was just a friend and his fb status still
says he is single. Is he still into me and just had a bad day? or is he losing interest? Im not sure what to do now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 22, 2017 at 8:11 pm
Hi,
dont rush at trying to get him back.. it will not take just a week to get him back..that’s why you need to implement the being there method and to keep improving yourself for him to think you’re the better choice but at the same time not be too available for him to think he will lose you if he doesn’t man up
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2017 at 9:20 am
Hi Dakota,
I believe it will work, since it’s his first time..be active for yourself during nc..
Mary
February 17, 2017 at 5:12 pm
I was dating my boyfriend for 8 months he asked for some space so I gave him his space bc I love him and I wanted to respect his need of space recently I logged in his social media and he was talking to his friend about how he slept with some girl…I was torn I called him crying and how this wasn’t fair he said I deserve someone better but as much as I love him I can’t let him go idk what to do now….
Jen
February 20, 2017 at 3:04 pm
I’m in the same mess.. but we didn’t call the break and he left to another country for almost a month and when he came back he’s the one who told me he slept with another girl.. also saying I deserve better… and I still want him in my life
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2017 at 7:53 pm
Hi Jen
do you want to try the no contact rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 17, 2017 at 9:17 pm
Hi Mary,
do you want to try the advice above?
Michelle
February 17, 2017 at 12:19 am
I was in a 5 yr relationship and engaged, for the past 2 years in went downhill after I caught him cheating. I never forgave him and we continued to be together but it was constant arguing and bickering. In January i told him we might need a break from each other which he agreed to and now 3 weeks later he tells me he’s not happy and that he’s talking to someone else. What should I do? I’m devastated
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 17, 2017 at 1:47 pm
Hi Michele,
2 years of being like that would really take a toll on the relationship.. right now, do you want to try the no contact rule and focus in healing and improving yourself?
Nicole
February 14, 2017 at 10:22 pm
Exactly 30 days ago (1/14/17) I found out my boyfriend of 6 months was cheating on me. I showed up unannounced to his house, to leave a note (which we commonly did for each other) after he said he had a work emergency, because I was in the area, and he’d cancelled on me meeting up with his sister to celebrate her birthday. We both worked a lot and I trusted he was telling me the truth. No I didn’t catch them sleeping together, I saw another girl’s car in his driveway and the blinds were drawn while she sat on his couch with him, so putting 2 and 2 together. I confronted him that night and he couldn’t muster a word, he just simply closed the door in my face. That night I blocked him on everything (Snap, FB, text, etc.), but instantly regretted and eventually unblocked him. I didn’t friend him again. The next morning I’d texted him for my stuff to pick up from his house, which I had my sister get. Some of it I got back, but he said he threw out the rest (I’m pretty sure he said that to get a rise out of me). I came across your site when I was at my lowest and implemented the 45 day NC rule. But he has yet to reach out to me even to apologize. In the past when we had a disagreement, I’d have to be the first one to speak because he rather avoid confrontation.
Our relationship progressed rather quickly. Within the 6 months, I spent half my time at his place and vice versa. I even had a toothbrush and personal items, which he insisted on leaving at his place. We didn’t make it Facebook official, nor did either of us talk about or delete our online dating profiles. I always assumed it was a non existent issue, I didn’t use them after he asked to be exclusive. I’m 28 and he’s 32, he often joked about eloping and getting married. He constantly talked about how I was good influence on his life and even introduced me to his family before we were even official. He planned long romantic weekends and wanted me accompany him on his sports trips with his buddies. He always introduced me as his girlfriend, wanted me to meet his friends, and was the proud boyfriend, talking about my accomplishments. I did tell him I loved him first, but he said it back and even asked why didn’t I say something sooner.
The whole cheating came as such a shock to me because I thought we were in a good place. Now I find myself second guessing other moments and the trust is tarnished. I want him in my life, right now just as a friend, and maybe one day romantically, because despite the cheating he was becoming one of my best friends. It’s tough because I feel like that night I lost my boyfriend and best friend.
Nicole
February 15, 2017 at 12:04 am
f you would have asked me 30 days ago, absolutely not. After the first 30 days I feel that I have/could forgive him if this is an isolated incident. I think his lack of response is what’s throwing me. He hasn’t attempted to apologize and we haven’t spoken, there’s a lot of pieces I feel I’m missing.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 15, 2017 at 5:47 pm
maybe when rapport has been built, when he feels more comfortable, he would apologize or it would be easier to bring up how hurt you were before without sounding bitter.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 14, 2017 at 10:37 pm
Hi Nicole,
if it’s just being a friend, start talking again.. but have you forgiven him? Because you cant really say somebody is your friend if you dont trust them
Marie
February 14, 2017 at 6:28 pm
I purchased The Texting Bible hoping to find out what to text a cheating ex at the end of a 30-day NC period. There wasn’t a single thing about how to end an NC period with an ex that cheated. I’m twenty days in, and I’ve gotten four texts– the last one expressing remorse. “I’m so sorry for hurting you. I wouldn’t talk to me either. I hope one day you can forgive me. Bye.” I don’t know how to handle the “Bye,” and it’s destroying me. Is he trying to guilt me into texting him back? Is he moving on? Either way, how do you recommend texting him when the NC period is over?
Marie
February 15, 2017 at 10:48 pm
What do you and Chris suggest for a first contact on a cheating ex? The same as you would recommend for any other ex? Something interesting and upbeat?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 16, 2017 at 1:39 pm
not really, especially with yours that you’re going to squeeze in saying you have forgiven him.. for example, if it was me and my bf likes bikes, Id say:
I passed by the motorshow earlier, checked the new models arriving this year, and it includes the one you said that were only available abroad. Thought of you after a long time, how are you? and thought you should know too that it’s water under the bridge.. do you think they allow installment pay for those models?
something like that..
Marie
February 15, 2017 at 5:15 am
I have, but I haven’t told him so. Should that be my first text at 30 days? Or what do you recommend?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 15, 2017 at 7:12 pm
yeah, you can start with that but don’t make it the main topic.. squeeze it in one text with the main topic..
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 14, 2017 at 9:38 pm
Hi Marie,
have you forgiven him?
Aashi
February 13, 2017 at 11:12 am
Hello
I had a break up with my bf 15 days ago. He was always dominating in our relationship. We were in tgis relationship for 8 months and it was our first relationship. Few days ago I came to know that he was cheating on me with one of our mutual bestfriend who already have a bf. from last two months our relationship was not going well during which he started dating other girl. From the day of break up i didn’t tried to contact him and deleted his number too. All of three study in the same institution but we just dont talk to each other anymore. I think he is not even serious for the girl he is in relationship with. What are the chances of getting him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 14, 2017 at 3:36 pm
Hi Aashi,
it’s a good chance that they wont work but with you and him, it depends more if he will see you better than her and better than who you were before
Ines Ava
February 10, 2017 at 12:08 am
hello, thank you for this article. my ex bf cheated on me, i found out a month ago and left right away without any confrontation. because he kept denying everything. i gave up and just walked away. he tried to text and call for about a week, i blocked him and only sent one text right after to leave me alone and never call me again. so now its been a month almost that we haven’t spoken. he has not texted me after i told him to leave me alone. i do not want to reach out to him at all. i am just wondering is he over me or is it his ego? i wonder if he is suffering at all or he does not care. also does he respect me because i have not called?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2017 at 4:57 pm
Hi Ines,
It’s hard to answer all of that. There can be more respect because you chose to walk away but it will also depend on how you lived life after that and how you will be if you ever get to talking again.. Because, he might have just stopped trying because he knows you don’t want to talk, but once he sees you’re not angry anymore, he will also guage how you still think about him, how you will react.. If you don’t chase, and if he wants to get back together,.then that’s your chance of implying that he has to earn your trust..but if you make things easy for him, then even if you went silent, he will still think you haven’t changed
keisha
February 3, 2017 at 10:58 pm
We were in a relationship for 6 months. I found out he was cheating on me with his ex and never deleted his dating profile. He said he loved me and his ex and wanted to date us both. I told him I refuse to share a man. He dumped and wanted to be friends. I said no. He calls me the same day he dumps me and acted like nothing happen. I ended the call quickly. Two days later I asked if he was sure he wanted us to be over. He said he missed me and never answered question. I love him so much and want what we had back. Is NC even worth it?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 4, 2017 at 12:10 pm
Hi Keisha,
The other options is to move on or to chase, which we dont advise of course.. So, think about it first..
kowalinska
February 1, 2017 at 11:18 pm
Hello, I made a mistake to texts and I don’t know if there is still a chance to get him back. We met on internet, I wasn’t attracted because his physique was atypical but he was passionate, well raised and nice.He proposed a coffee, why not. But when I saw him I felt something strong, I was surprised, I went not motivated and there I have a guy who is not my type of guy and I liked.We shared so much that time passed too fast, so the restaurant and even after dinner we were in no hurry to leave.It brings me back, and 2 minutes after texts if I think we will have other parties like this. Wow it makes you want. In spite of our jobs we begin to exchange texts and it is motivated even in a meeting.It is even better, a quiet and romantic place to discuss. And this time he kisses me on leaving, 2 minutes after a text message if it was not too daring. There I start to fall for him, not beautiful but Passionate, caring. The next day the textos is more intimate but never sexual, In the evening we speak on the phone and we are made to understand that we have desire. But the next day is his day with his son so we are adults. But in the evening he texts his son spends an evening with his ex. Do I agree to see it, as at home it is small etc, I agree to come to him. He is proud of his apartment, the photos of his son, but ends up with a very intense and passionate sexual relationship. It brings me home because I work in the morning and I understand that there is a trick. He does not send me the famous texts, the day of his birthday, I try to remain calm but he does not answer. Not give up and send a text message, it does not have the feeling. I’m shocked, he refuses to talk to me, I’m 45 and I know when things are missing but there? I sent text messages saying that he was mistaken and that we could be good together if he gave us some time, After 3 days I sent him a text message that I accept his decision, I wished him good. Worse I told him that if he wanted more suporters on his arrival during the marathons, I would like to be in. He does not answer, I can see on the internet that he spends time on the dating site. Is there a chance to make him at least want to talk to me, it’s been a long time since I have not had this kind of connection with a man and I’m not talking about sex
Cassandra
February 12, 2017 at 6:23 pm
Is this guy in Charlotte, NC? This sounds identical to a man I’ve been texting with.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 2, 2017 at 6:31 pm
Hi Kowalinska,
honestly, it looks like all he wants was sex.. do you want to try the no contact rule?
Chinki
February 1, 2017 at 6:14 pm
Hi
Me & my bf were in a relation from 9 or 10 months. He is very smart, charming and athletic. But d problem is dat he is a big time flirt. He flirts with every girl he looks at. I knew it frm d start but honestly i never noticed him doing it. We also had sex twice after 3 months of our relationship. But from last month, i m noticing his flirting. And i m hurt like hell. I had a fight wid him twice too. Because he stopped talking to me coz he is after someone else.
Now again he is after a girl. He flirts with her daily and she is responding positively by being there daily at d same time when my bf leaves for work. I saw dem… And i was hurt by seeing all dat right in front of my eyes but somehow they didn’t saw me.
Today i encountered him directly and asked him about it and he said shamelessly dat he is flirting and will keep doing it. I was so angry and hurt dat i slammed d door and left. He knws m hurt but he doesn’t care. He was laughing and he is so bloody shameless. I keep on crying coz i love him too much.
We live in d same area and i can see both of dem flirting and its really killing me inside. Its their daily routine. I cant ignore dem and cant get dem out of my mind. Its impossible. The only thing i did right (bfore reading dis) was i left in anger. If i implement nc right now for 45 days, will he realise anything? What should i do.?? Please suggest. Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 2, 2017 at 4:42 pm
Hi Chinki,
there’s no guarantee that it will work but it’s better to do it and focus in improving yourself rather than chase him
Ivan
January 24, 2017 at 7:53 am
i’m in dilemma, I have two women who I love. It’s very difficult for me to make a choice. My first choice was sentimental, I feel comfortable with her and feel compatible. While the second my girlfriend is challenging, Every day I would quarrel with her because of disagreements with all aspects but I’m very passionate with her. We often have sex and after that we will be fighting as a daily routine. I really love both of them. I’m confused by my own feelings.
Kate
January 31, 2017 at 7:14 pm
He spent with me a month and a half, then went back home. I suppose he assured her he is coming back soon, because she said to let her know so they try to meet up…
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 1, 2017 at 11:33 am
Hi Kate,
did you use a different email add? or is this a first comment?
Kate
January 30, 2017 at 10:10 pm
Hi, first thank you for the wonderful website!
My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years in a long distance relationship, however 2 weeks ago (when we were in the same city) i found he sent several “too friendly” messages to another woman (he talked about his trip, sent her pictures, seemed very happy when she responded and assured her he was coming home very soon). When I confronted him about it he just said I am being paranoid and crazy. The conversation became a really big fight, old problems were brought up and eventually I kicked him out telling him to never contact me again. he left and since then I haven’t heard from him. I have no intention of contacting him any time soon, however I feel like I was too harsh on him. Truth is I am not sure to what extent the new relationship has been formed. Am I being paranoid for real, what do u think?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 31, 2017 at 3:00 pm
Hi Kate,
why did he assure her he was coming home?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 25, 2017 at 9:20 am
Hi Ivan,
what are your non negotiables and who meets them?