How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,987 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

Sara

December 9, 2019 at 3:13 pm

Hii, actually it’s not a cheating but my boyfriend tried to test me whether I trust him or not so he told me that he slept with a girl nd he told my roommate abt it that he was trying to test me.He even showed her the prove that he was not with a girl nd told my frnd not to tell me about this but I thought it was real… on the third day when I couldn’t bare anymore abt it I told his elder brother about it so this was my mistake nd another mistake was that I send his 2 or 3 frnds frnd rqst in FB..
We spent 2 days in hotel so I had told his elder brother abt it nd one of his frnd so when he got to know about it he was like… u’ll never change..I already gave u chances now I don’t want u anymore but I want him back…I can’t trust u anymore nd etc.etc…he has even blocked me everywhere..he doesn’t reply my texts ….plzz help me to get him back…I love him so much nd I badly want him

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 14, 2019 at 9:55 pm

Hi Sara, this sounds very immature game playing and it never ends well. Your (now ex) boyfriend should not be telling you he cheated on you that causes mistrust and problems in a relationship and then also causes you to react in negative ways because you’re going to be emotional. I am not sure who you spent two days in a hotel with? But your ex telling you he can not trust you but yet tells you he cheated makes absolutely no sense. Its mind games and I would suggest taking time apart until you have both matured

Agnes

December 7, 2019 at 8:35 pm

Hi have been dating my guy for 5 years but last week we had issues broke up was so depressed he kept pushing me away I ended up cheating on him with his friend now he called things off between us I still love him and am willing to make things work…he said he has forgiven me but he can’t take me back what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 8, 2019 at 9:30 pm

Hey Agnes, so you need to start the process the first step is No Contact for 30 days, and you need to read some more articles on this website about the process and what to do when you have broken someones trust

Entle

December 4, 2019 at 11:21 pm

Hey chris.my boyfriend found out that I’m cheating and he told me that I must look for a new boyfriend because he can’t afford to have me as a wife. He wants us to be fuck buddies and I can’t afford that coz I really love him and I want him back. The only problem that I have now is that he calls me everyday to check up on me but deep down he’s still hurt. I don’t know what to do coz he wants to see me more often and calls me 3 times a day. I want to give him space but he’s busy contacting me

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 6, 2019 at 9:50 pm

Entle, ignore him, do not answer those calls. He cheated on you, wont commit to you, hasn’t apologised, and then expects friends with benefits situation!! You deserve so much better than that and you need to remind yourself of that too! When he calls you ignore him, just dont answer simple as that, cancel his calls, delete the texts as they come through

Macy

November 15, 2019 at 5:00 am

My boyfriend recently decided to end things with me for good. We’ve been together for 3 years. I’m heartbroken and sad everyday. We were each others one and only, meaning first time, first relationship, everything.

I know its my fault as I have a drinking problem and anxiety along with it. It makes me a different person when I drink. I lost myself in a way. My mind has been clouded. I made so many mistakes and did things I regret. He gave me so many chances, why didn’t I just wake up and realize he’s here for me before. Commit to my countless promises and apologies on changing for him… The one mistake I wish so badly to take back is that is I cheated on him with his friend. It was the worst thing I could have ever done. I ruined our one and only bond, saying we had for each other. He didn’t deserve any of it.

We talked it all out, the mistake and he decided to want to work through this. For 3 months I was sober, but in between we were both still hurting and sad of the mistake. I felt sad constantly and worthless to his pain and sadness, as there’s nothing I can truly say to change it. I had 3 relapses this past month, pretty close together, and the 3rd was the last straw for him. It pains me that I did this. I understand I have to accept his decision but it just hurts so bad.

I feel regret, feel shame, guilt, agony. I’m in the process of quitting alcohol, focusing on myself, becoming better and going to work. But at night and in the mornings are the worst times for me. I miss him so much. I’m hoping this road to recovery, and actually putting work in to being better for myself. He will later on see that I’m fully committed. But I don’t want to get my hopes up about that too much. This just really sucks overall for me. I’m so hurt by my mistakes and bad decisions. I want to fix this damage so badly. It’s been really hard without him.

He still lets me call him if I want too, but I always end up crying, asking for another chance. He says he’s hurting but not as much as he should be, he wants to be single, focus on his job, making money. He gave me too many chances, he says. I need to work on myself. I know focusing on hope that will be together again is bad but he was my best friend.

I talk to my parents and some other people about how I’m feeling, they give me so much advice. But at the same time I can’t help but feel so much pain still. A drink use to numb this pain but now I can’t resort to that kind of life anymore. I just really wish I could have my best friend back, my one and only back.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 18, 2019 at 8:33 pm

Hey so you need to do some work to help yourself through the drinking problems and the anxiety that is going to show your ex you are serious about changing. By taking action and changing your ways, making it known to your mutual friends that you are taking the time to do some work on yourself. Then giving your ex some time away from you to one deal with the fact you had cheated and then some time away from you to actually miss you too. Good luck

Deep

November 10, 2019 at 8:54 am

Hi Chris I’m in a messed up situation.I cheated my bf for the second time but this tym I realized that I seriously love him.he blocked me from everywhere I am not able to contact him.i want him back but don’t know how to get him back…plzzzz help me out..

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 10, 2019 at 8:42 pm

Hi Deep, so you need to give your ex some time, youve broken his trust twice. You are going to have to work hard to get his attention and trust again. During the NC you need to go seek help to work out why you keep cheating

Rhollinda

October 31, 2019 at 10:50 pm

Hi Chris, I cheated on my boyfriend and he later found out. I told him the truth about everything that happened and we talked about it and he forgave me but after a week he started distancing himself and when I asked if he was ok…he told me he was fine. So I thought it well to give him some space so he could be alone and think about things. After some few days he called me one Morning telling me he wanted a break up. I asked him why and he said he can’t forget what I did and that it still haunts him. Even though I begged him and all it looked like he had made up his mind. So I agreed to the break up. He told me I could be friends with him but I don’t want that. I really love him and want him back. We have so many things we want to accomplish together before I messed up but he seems to have given up completely. Please help me get him back

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 2, 2019 at 9:46 pm

Hi Rhollinda, you need to first work out why you cheated – as in what happened in your relationship to get you to that point. I’m assuming you’ve apologised to him already so you have to give him some time away from you approx 21 days minimum of full NC and when you reach out you need to be prepared for him to be cold with you for some time

Brenny

October 5, 2019 at 3:57 pm

Hi Chris. I cheated on my boyfriend he later found out. I apologized to him and he said he has forgiven me. After some months he said he needed space to think that a lot was going through his mind which I gave him. Later he sent me a message let’s just be close friends for now. I asked why he told he told me that anytime he remembers what I did he is always hurt. Am really confused. What should I do to get him back

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 5, 2019 at 8:20 pm

Hi Brenny, so you need to give him that space but do not be his “close” friend. As you dont want to be friendzoned. You need to do a NC and then start the texting phase where you do things to re attract your ex where it also gains his trust slowly again. The hurt that you caused from cheating is why he needs the space away from you so let him have that.

Tamar

September 1, 2019 at 9:46 am

Hey Chris
I’ve been dating this guy for five months now .
The first two months he seemed really loving and caring but he changed after a while ,we still see each other and have sex too but things don’t look they way it was .
Now he went through my phone and saw a conversation with a guy I slept with months ago and he don’t wanna see me anymore.
I love him and can’t bare going a month with out hearing from him or what if another person comes in the picture while I’m not in contact with him ?
I’m confused .
Eunice

August 26, 2019 at 9:39 am

l cheated on my boyfriend but have asked for forgivenes several times ,he told me he has forgiven me .but he said he will never be open up to me what should l do l wish am dead and gone cause l still love him so much.
Melissa Gillis

August 1, 2019 at 6:34 pm

I went from an abusive physically and emotionally relationship with my daughters father to an amazing guy. He communicated well, treated me and my daughter good, he was just a little too emotional and sensitive for me. He cheated on me about 4 times with his daughters mother & from the last time we pretty much acted like we were together but we were not. My daughters father and I started building a great co parenting relationship where it kind of felt normal again. I ended up spending a weekend with him and my daughter. I knew it was dumb but I still did it. The weekend was terrible it just reminded me of why I was so miserable for 3 years & I still made the choice of sleeping with him. So my new guy that ive been with for a year now knows and told his family about what I have done. its been about week and I haven’t begged for him back, ive kinda just been reflecting on my own actions and what I want. But now that hes not around I miss him so much. Not sure what to do, how to go about it and now that his family knows I feel my character is ruined. what do I do?
Honeyrose

July 11, 2019 at 3:29 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend
I apologized to him
Still yet
He said he doesn’t want me again
That he just want to be a play boy
I have called,texted him also chatted him on WhatsApp,his no is no
He said i should give him a space
That we can be best of friends not lovers again

i love him so much
Please how can i get him back
Please help me
Amie

July 7, 2019 at 8:49 pm

Hi Chris,

Me and my partner broke up a month and a bit ago now and its driving me crazy, I hadn’t gone to work because I mentally felt drained, the only problem was, we had just moved into a flat together. I then went out on a night out and woke up in an other town with a bloke and his misses not knowing what had happened, later on finding out nothing had happened. My ex thought I had cheated, he thought I had done the worst thing possible to him, but im not that sort of person. I begged and pleaded for him to stay with me but it was too late… Now a few weeks have gone by and he is now saying he is over me and doesn’t love me anymore, yet when I go over there due to personal circumstances, we end up having sex… a lot. I know sex doesn’t mean love 100% of the time but I cant help but feel maybe there is something there still. We have started to have the ‘ no contact ‘ because he says he still needs space, but my head is saying if he is over me, why does he need space? Im not going to lie im not the best person for the no contact thing, I have honestly been messaging him a lot and I am always the one to initate any kind of convosation. I just want him back, I have a lovely new job and trying to look up from here, but I just want him by my side while we do it together, like we used to. I know I may have done wrong by not going to work and getting so drunk I don’t remember the night out but I do love him, and I want him too trust me again whether were together or not, we have been through to much to lose eachother as even friends, but I know im not helping by grovelling to him all the time and making things worse whenever they actually feel like they’re getting better. We are only young and we have both been in horrible relationships before hand, and I know that that relationship broke his trust too, but for different reasons. I don’t believe that getting under someone is going to help me because im just not that type of girl, I don’t see myself as that type of person, I don’t like rebounds, never had one and never will. I just want my soul mate to love me again. I have read so many of your articles and they all make so much sense, I just need your help Chris….
Lina

June 19, 2019 at 6:15 pm

ok so……there are two parts to this….and it’s long.
i have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and it’s been a long distance relationship and we met online. i love him so much, more than anything and i know he loves me. we sext quite often. we have founded our relationship on trust and honesty, which is a big thing for me because…i lie a lot to people. but i pushed myself and i never once lied to him, unless it was so he didn’t worry about me because he already worries about me enough as it is (i mean emotionally because i get sad and depressed a lot). also we tell each other everything.
we have never met in all that time because we haven’t been able to save enough money to see each other. and over the past 1.5 years we’ve been really stressed.
he used to live in chicago then moved to new mexico (and now lives back in chicago) and there in new mexico he met this girl and they became friends and eventually best friends. and one day he told me that she confessed to him that she liked him, and i really didn’t like that. and then a few days later he tells me that she…touched him in his turn on spots (the specific spot she touched was his thigh) which made me increasingly unhappy. you do not tell other girls (including your best friend) your turn on spots. this was around 1.5 years ago and the source of all the stress and the fighting. and i haven’t been able to let it go (for obvious reasons). and recently i brought it up again while we were both in moderately calm moods and asked him questions about it, like why he told her, etc. he said he didn’t know but i knew that wasn’t the truth. i ended up saying “was it because she was actually there and i’m not?” and he said kinda…. then i asked “did you want it to happen?” yes and no… “did you like it?” a little….
so there’s a lot of betrayal in that. but he chose not to cheat on me with he, he never kissed her at all (he says and i..choose to believe).
so in all that 1.5 years i have felt this huge wall between me and him, which he built and in so doing caused me to build my own. and we’ve been trying to fix that, and we wanted desperately to fix it. we still do. but i have been feeling left out of most his thoughts and just everything in general. over the 5 years we’ve been together, our been has grown quite strong. and my responses to things have grown to match his, my wall went up shortly after his did, i told him less shortly after he did it less, etc (you get the idea). and i just felt shut out, like he didn’t want to talk to me as much, like he didn’t hear me when i talked to him, his responses were often one or two words….i felt alone., and unwanted and unneeded. and yet we still felt that intense love and said it every day.
about a year ago, i met a guy (also online). and at first he was just this guy who was nice to me and he was easy to talk to and he listened, and at some point i ended up telling him about me and my boyfriend and how strained we are and the cause of it. he was actually quit upset about it but he tried to help us work things out anyway.
and over the next months we grew closer and closer, he became a really good friend, and he eventually ended up saying i was like a sister to him. but after more time together, we grew closer and feelings grew as well. and one day, i don’t even remember how it started, we ended up sexting, and after that…it we continued to do it and our feelings grew into love. and i did love him (but no where near as much as my boyfriend). and it went on for a year. and over that year, we would often fight, mostly because i coouldn’t give him the attention he wanted or do things with him (movies and games, etc), and how e wanted me to be with him and just him that he didn’t want to share. and the fights got worse over time. but eventually around the end of that year, my love for this guy went away and every time i tried to make things stop he’d pull the card of “i need you please don’t leave” “you promised you would never leave me” and so on and i felt bad for him and he said as long as we still had the “sex” he’d be alright. so i said ok and the “sex” kept happening, though i had no interest in it so i would just “lay there”. and every other day he’d tell me he loved me. and the fights increasingly got worse and all that trust i had in him was so low at this point.
and just yesterday i finally couldn’t take it anymore and i told him that, that i couldn’t do any of this any longer. and that good guy that i had fallen for a year ago just dropped like a mask and he showed just how bad he was and blackmailed me, saying he would send screenshots of the things we did to my boyfriend if i didn’t stay and do so and so for him, what the guy was requesting were things i could never do, they were too private. and so i was forced to tell my boyfriend everything. and the guy sent everything to him. after that i deleted and blocked him off every social media i had him on.
…..i don’t know what to do i don’t know how to fix this. i have never hated someone so much in my entire life, but i do know that i am the reason it all happened, i accept that. but i do not want to lose the love of my life. he’s the only good thing i have ever had and managed to hold onto for so long. i know i screwed up, but please…..i am not one to ask for help with anything but please help me. what do i do??
Sandra

June 16, 2019 at 5:46 am

Hi Chris

All I wanna do now is just to die,my boyfriend found out I have been texting a woman but actually I didn’t have any physical contact with her,it was just texting and he read all of that,I tried to explain but is getting worst.i know am the most horrible person in the world right now but I need an advice…he said for him to be okay that I should kill myself,and if that will make him happy I think I will
I need an advice please
Luah

June 12, 2019 at 12:23 pm

Hi Chris & team,

I was dating my boyfriend for 5 years and recently cheated/had an affair of a few months. We were long distance for 2.5 of the 5 years and I have yet to figure out why I did what I did.
Your advice and videos seem helpful, but honestly this guy is not like every other guy. I’d say he’s part of a 10% and that’s why I loved him. He never had a gf until he met me and it took so long for him to let me in. His world is very much black and white and since I cheated not only once but a few times he said I killed of the person he knew and he never wants to hear or see me again.
Have you ever encountered these 10% guys who are so faithful, so mature, and overall great boyfriends and have 0 tolerance of cheating? Anyone have success getting then back?
Zoya khan

May 13, 2019 at 8:23 pm

Hi Chris,
I found your article very helpful.
But my situation is completely different i cheatedon my bf with my best friends bf and that’s not proper cheating
We were just talking on texts and the guy i was talking.
He messed up this for me, one day i saw he blocked me from everywhere and my bff calling me and saying that her bf told her everything about me.
That i cheated her with her bf
But he didn’t tell tell his part. Ewwww
After all this she told each and everything to my bf, after all this he wanted to breakup with me.
M very helpless person I guess correctly m going through anxiety and depression with my guilt because i love my bf and I don’t wanna loose him and one more thing
Me and my bf works in same office
Please help and i am from India and you know there mentality towards things
Ara

May 6, 2019 at 5:45 pm

Hi Chris, first of all I want to express my deep grattitude for this article. I really think that you’ve written for the veryvery first time about the things that till this time stayed taboo. I was beating myself and overanalising and had a bad inner conflict, but now after reading this everything’s seems to be way easier! I’m talking especially about the part of “Monogamy is unnatural”. It made me understand that what I did was not soooo bad, gave me more trust in myself and made me feel less guilty.

I had a situation in my ex relationship whick i will try to explain. But… that gonna be a bit long.
Sooo… we used to be in a 2,5 years relationship that was such caring, deep and lovely. We really felt deeper connection, I just fell in love with his soul, because i saw it and we used to feel each other very well. We both thought we gonna marry one day. I was greatful for meeting my future husband.
We were living together for 1,5 years and that was beautiful sharing every day, but we both are from a poor country and it wasn’t that easy. We struggle for getting some money and maintain ourselves. I never have had these problems before, my family is quite stable. He used to struggle all his life. We saved some money for a hitchhiking trip together and again, I did it before and it was the first time for him. So we went to a open-minding hitchhiking 2 months travel to Spain & Morrocco. We used to sleep in a tent so again conditions were not comfortable, so we did enjoy but we did fight sometimes as well. Anyways during this hard time living in Poland I was so depressed – I felt like I completely stop my personal development. That was winter, I hated the city that we lived in, we slowly stopped to talk and I felt that i am there only to cook and have sex with him. That wasn’t his fault, because he was depressed and frustrated about his job too. So in this hard time I met a guy who wanted to listen to me and put his attention to me. He was 10 years older and he was interested in subcouncioness-power stuff, that I never heard of before and I wanted to learn. We created very close friendship, we supported each other and I could tell him literally everthing. The situation in my family was difficult, I always had to hide my feelings so I appreciated someone I can be completely honest with. He was just a friend for me, I never stopped to love my boyfriend. But my friend fell in love with me. I didn’t realise till my boyfriend discovered it. Me and the friend used to send sweety messages, that I consider completely innocent. I am very caring person, I often tell my friends and sister that I love them etc. I spend some time in Latin America, where the people are way more caring than in post-communistic countries… maybe that’s why they took me wrong. I’m a bi, and I dont see the difference between a friendship with woman and friendship with man. The gender doesn’t exist, soul is the same, it’s just the body differences. My boyfriend didn’t share this opinion. He drove completely mad. He wanted me to broke the friendship but I refused. So we last in a relationship that was out of trustness. Then we went for a hitchhiking trip that I mentioned before that helped us so much, but when we came back, the madness began again. I didn’t want to broke friendship with my friend and I loved my boyfriend. I made some mistakes, I know but I didn’t want to obey if I had my own rights. We both are stubborn. The relationship didn’t maintain this. We wanted to save this and we finally started to understand our mistakes but in the very end I said that I don’t want him anymore, because I was so exhaused of all this crazyness. We split. Over a year ago. I regreted it. And I moved to my friend’s house because I had nowhere to go. We lived for 4 months just as friends. My ex knew about it.

Now my friend has a fiancee. I live in a different country building my career as a stage performer and I’m finally happy with what I do. My ex found a great job, moved abroad and is happy as well. He forgave me but we almost don’t speak. I am very inspired, I want to make many singing and acting projects and I’m focus on my career now. I finally follow my destiny, that I never knew before and I love what I do. But I still love him and I want to get him back in the future. He gonna go for a long (2-3 years) trip to Asia so we gonna have a lot of time apart. I think it’s good for us. We are both extremely strong personalities. Do you think we still have some chances to get back? (He still thinks I cheated him emotionally, and he thinks about it Very Bad…)

I think the men are sometimes harsh to the women, cause they are a bit afraid of them, cause they don’t understand them. Because we are way more complicated. I’m not judging all of them, but generally it’s like that.

Thank you so much for reading, sorry for such a long content, but you know 😉 that’s something that moves my soul. And I had no one to tell that story so again thank you so much. Greets and waiting for your response ;*

Chris Seiter

May 6, 2019 at 10:37 pm

Thank you for sharing and I agree, men are a bit more predictable and can be somewhat callous. Women have many more layers of complexity. Keep moving forward doing those things that bring meaning and enjoyment to your life. He knows where and how to get in touch with you. It’s his loss if he doesn’t make room for you in his life.

Shelly

April 26, 2019 at 4:21 pm

I have been with my guy almost three years now before I saw a guy who proposed to me and due to bad friends influence I accepted the guys proposal. I got pregnant with my guy and the guy I got latter said the pregnancy was for him through that I had a miscarriage. The guy again came back in my life and my guy found out am still with the other guy. So my guy said is over, but this the case I love him what should I do
Diya sharma

April 18, 2019 at 6:33 pm

Plzz help
Sona Chanel

April 11, 2019 at 11:53 pm

I cheating on my man by sleeping with another man for the first time, now he find out, I have been begging him for 4days now but he don’t want to but he want me to convince him dat which guarantee is dere dat de married wil last n guarantee that n convince him in a way dat he wil not go have sex outside , am soo confused I loved him soo much

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1,987 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”