How Long Will It Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?- The Three Timelines

733 thoughts on “This Is How Long It Will Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

A.

February 25, 2014 at 6:07 am

First off great website, I have been reading it for a while now and am extremely impressed 🙂

It has been almost 7 months since my ex of a year dumped me. He split with me because he felt I was too clingy and he wanted to date new girls. We tried talking for 2 months after the split and I told him I could no longer do a friendship with him. I went NC for about 40 days and texted him. He ignored the text and unfriended me on facebook. I have not tried texting him since the end of Nov. I tried moving on as hard as it is. I recently found out that he has not hooked up with a girl or even been on a date since me. We are both in college, so I am a little shocked that he has not done either. I have a few questions.

1. Is it normal to remain single this long after dumping someone especially if they want to date new people?

2. My ex is always busy with friends, school, and this business organization, is it possible that he does not even think about me since he is always having fun?

admin

February 25, 2014 at 6:52 pm

Glad I was able to impress you.

1. It can be. It’s different for everyone.
2. I am positive he still thinks about you.
A.

February 26, 2014 at 2:09 am

Thanks for the reply!

I am thinking of sending him another text in a few months. I think once I come back from the beach after spring break and am a nice bronzy color…. Gotta be that Ungettable Girl all you men seem to like 😉

I was never fat, but I still went to gym, got a make over, and got tanner. I also used a lot of your tips and now have a lot more guys chasing me 🙂

When we met up our final time we hugged and had a pleasant conversation. Well as pleasant as saying a final goodbye could possibly be. When he flat out ignored me when I texted him it makes me wonder…

1. Does he now hate me?
2. Is he possibly afraid of reaching out since he not only ignored me, but deleted me of fb back in Nov.?

Natalia

February 17, 2014 at 5:59 pm

Hey Chris
I was doing well for two weeks until vday came along. I texted him, talked to him for about 4 minutes and sent him a whole bunch of new pics of me. The only thing he really said is i know ur seeing other guys and I’ll let u know (again) if i wanna hang out. Any tips besides continuing NC?

Thanks!
Amber

February 12, 2014 at 4:02 am

Hi Chris,

I had sent you an email about a month ago and I even posted on the website a few days back. I have received a response to neither. It’s a simple question. Do I remain on the forum, but ignore him or should I disappear from the forum altogether. It’s hard seeing him interact with another girl on the forum. Your insight would be appreciated. Thank you.

admin

February 12, 2014 at 7:40 pm

Remain in the forum but ignore him.

Cindy

February 12, 2014 at 12:44 am

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 years and 5 months he broke up with me because he says I was “a bad girlfriend!”, even though I know it is because he wants to do his own thing!(I recently found out he went “Bar Hopping” before our 4 year anniversary& never told me) He stood me up a week ago and told me he didn’t show up because he doesn’t want to see me anymore and that our relationship was over!!! my heart broke to pieces:( it has been a week with no contact, I love him a lot! would you suggest that I don’t contact him and wait for him to reach out to me or should I contact him and show him that I am not a bad girlfriend?

admin

February 12, 2014 at 7:36 pm

Well, if you are out of NC then you can reach out.

lucy

February 11, 2014 at 8:24 am

Dear Cris.
thank u for making this website its very helpful to all the ladies out there who are facing breaksup.Me and my ex have been living together for almost 3years and 8 mos,.due to the difference of culture and religion and his family and his cheating.he dump me unaware.the first month breakup i screw it .I call and txt 100 times which should do but due to emotional breakdown .I panic.I found out that his on a rebound relationship.When Iearned about how the girl looks like- I didnt know if i will laugh or just wont care for thr girl.coz she was not that hot or even cute at all.after a month I tried the no contact rule then suddenly he contacted me .he look for reason to see me like bring back my things.give my sales in the business were joint together.I screw it Cris I told him u can throw my thing i dont need it.and i let my friend get my sales from him.after that i txt him and told him not to bother me again coz i moved on already.I feel too much hate towards him after 2 months of heartaches now u want to see me.cris did i burn the bridges i didnt mean to tell him all those things.lately he unblock me all whatsapp chat etc.
I want him back but I build a stronger wall towards him.did I screw all his plans?help

admin

February 11, 2014 at 6:26 pm

Wait, he cheated on you and HE dumpd you?

Cristin

February 10, 2014 at 5:38 pm

Hi Chris. I really appreciate your website. I find the different timelines really interesting, but am confused as to how they work. For example, how do you execute a medium timeline? Do you do 30 days no contact or a longer one?
Linda

February 9, 2014 at 6:12 am

Hey Chris. My ex broke up with me about 4 weeks ago. He was going to go back to his country on Jan. 26, so i decided to meet up with him the last time to say goodbye before it, that was ten days after the breakup. Now I’ve done the NC rule for two weeks…but since we’re now having long distance between us, how can i make my text messages to him become so powerful that he’d be re-attracted by me? Besides, he’s hidden his posts and photos (very normal content that has nth to do with me)on facebook from me since the breakup though he said that i am still his good friend. I need your advice!! Thank you very much!

admin

February 10, 2014 at 5:27 am

So, you have only been through 2 weeks of NC?
Linda

February 10, 2014 at 1:33 pm

Yes, hell-like 2 weeks, already half of one month anyway~ i know you’re gonna tell me to be patient, patient, and patient. Thanks!

Laura

February 7, 2014 at 7:01 am

Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago a week later we started talking again. After about 2 weeks he just stopped responding and we havent talked for a little less than 2 months. He has been posting pictures with a new girl but I finally deleted him off everything. What should I do?
Amber

February 6, 2014 at 8:50 pm

Hey Chris 🙂

I wanted to clarify that while I was doing NC for the past month, I was pretty active on the forum. So my ex would see me posting online, but we wouldn’t speak to one another. Based on his behavior online, it seems he couldn’t care less about me; he even appears to be taking an interest in another female member.

I do not want to contact him first because he ended it and rather rudely. I hesitate to even resume a friendship because he can be difficult. Maybe it is selfish of me think this, but I just want him to realize how he hurt me. I want him to regret the way he treated me.

Sometimes it js hard to see him appear like he doesn’t care. He is the kind of person who will try to alleviate his guilt by saying that the other person “looks just fine.” He may even tell himself that, “Amber appears happy on this forum, she’s doin’ alright, I guess I didn’t hurt her so bad, so I need not feel guilty for the way I treated her.” I say this because I’ve seen him display such line of thinking.

I know I posted before, but I wanted to explain this a bit more. What do you suggest? Go MIA from the forum or stay put? Also, should I delete him from Whatsapp?
Amber

February 6, 2014 at 7:40 pm

Hey Chris,

I am doing NC; it has been a month so far. My ex and I are members of an online social forum. It is not FB, nor is it a dating site. It’s a forum containing various life topics that one can discuss. Should I disappear from this forum ….or…… should I continue to post confidently/happily but ignore him?

I’ve done NC in terms of not contacting him at all for a month. Just wanna know if I should go MIA from the forum or post and ignore?
Summer

January 30, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I dated for 6 months and he was the most sensitive and respectful guy for the first 5. It was clear he really cared about me. During the last month, he became really busy with work (I’m talking 80-90 hours a week) with no end in sight. I became more and more agitated and guilted him about not spending enough time with me. I guess he couldn’t take it anymore because we had a big fight and then he broke up with me. I was pretty upset and begged for a chance to work things out but he said no. It’s been over 3 weeks of NC (right after the break) and neither one has contacted each other.
During NC, I’ve been working out, eating right, going out with friends. But I still feel distracted and miss him a lot.
Here’s my question- do you think medium timeline would be better because he has a stressful situation that can’t be resolved in a month? Should I contact him after the NC period is over or should I wait until he has resolved his stressful situation and contacts me himself? How do I show him I’ve gotten over my “need” vs. “want” of him?
Thank you!

admin

January 31, 2014 at 6:30 pm

Yes I think you should after the NC period is over.

Lungile

January 30, 2014 at 9:19 am

I would like to learn more.Am going through a very difficult hurting period.i have been separated with my ex bf almost four months now.I love him so much but they way things are(no communications or any signs showing that i will ever get him back) I dnt know really, sometimes i ask my self if i should try to move on since it looks like hes no longer interested in me.Am also friends with some of his friends but i have not even a single day heard anything from them saying he sometimes talks about me, or ask about me.Realy loving someone who does not is painful.Am only 22 and didnt have such an experience befor.My bf is a foreigner and i often wonder what if he just go back to Congo one day, what will happen to me? i have hurt enough.Please help me.

admin

January 30, 2014 at 6:15 pm

Are you two in a long distance relationship?

Monica

January 28, 2014 at 9:33 pm

Hi Chris, I was just wondering what I can do if my ex is already talking to another girl? We only been broken up for a little under two months.. Please help!

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:46 pm

Don’t panic… its pretty normal actually. Have you completed your NC?

Holly

January 26, 2014 at 3:44 pm

Hi Chris,

May I ask if it is possible to get back an ex who is workaholic? I broke up with him because he was basically working day and night and would go on days without a text or a phone call and we wouldn’t see each other often. Basically, he put his work at his top priority. I got very emotional a day after I broke up with him and called him up wanting to take back my statement but he remained calm and told me we both needed some space to really think about what we want as i couldn’t accept his work schedule and that separating at this moment is a better decision for both of us. I still love him a lot and want to get back with him. just want to know if it is possible if we can still be together. thanks!

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:07 pm

Anything is possible but I think its smart to weigh how high the chances are.

Aaliya sahni

January 26, 2014 at 8:38 am

Hey ….he broke up with me 5 days back… He still loves me a lot…he broke up just because he believes that our relationship has no future as most of the time we fought and argued. I don’t know how to make him realise his mistakes.of course there were some mistakes done by me as well.. But he agreed before breakup that I was a changed girl now.but still he said that we are not compatible,and there is no future so I don’t want to hurt you after a very long term relationship as it would b very difficult for you to move on then, that’s why we should get separated now ..bUt I want him to realise that every relationship has problems, I said everything logical to make him understand and to make him realise that he’s doing wrong ..not only to me but to himself..but he was not able to understand a thing and he broke up.what should I do to make him realise and get him back.plz help me
Ewel

January 22, 2014 at 8:48 pm

Hi Chris, hope you’ll be able to throw some light on my situation. I was in an almost 8-year relationship till last March. For the last two years I was basically a nagging b**ch as my exbf was out of work but he would put up with me cause he believed I would change and give him a chance to prove himself. He lost the belief, gave me an ultimatum, I didn’t comply and he ended it. When I understood what I’d done, I immediately started begging, promising change etc. He wouldn’t go for it. However, we kept contact as we were living under the same roof. Four months after the breakup we started having sex again, but he kept saying it shouldn’t mean anything to me. I moved out last November, tried some no contact and didn’t succeed. The current situation is that he invites me to his place/himself to mine, we hang out. I do not exist to his friends, only the closest ones know he sees me “at times”. He goes to parties, trips etc. as a single guy. I come to his family events as he hasn’t told his parents we’re not a couple. When we hang out, he hugs me, sometimes kisses, we had sex twice since I moved out. He says he’s trying to give us a chance, but can’t take me now as he would have no tolerance for anything that I might do wrong. I know the relationship fell apart because I was destroying him. I can only see it now and want us to be together cuz I believe he is my other half and we are meant for each other. On some level, he seems to want the same things, wouldn’t be keeping in touch, kissing and touching me otherwise. But I do not know how to behave. There was no proper no contact, we’ve been in touch all the time since the breakup and it tears me apart how he keeps pulling and pushing me away. I know he is somehow torn himself. I am unable to act all cheerful around him, now am rather cautious and neutral cuz it left me in pieces every time he pushed me away after I’d open up to him and behave as if we were a couple. He says he wants to see I’ve changed, wants to see me cheerful, positive and tolerant. I do care for him and want us to be together. Please advise how I should act. Does no contact make any sense at this stage (10 months after we broke up)? He won’t understand it now and see it as artificial, sign of my weakness and egoism after the chance he is giving me. Aren’t there better solutions in such a situation? It’s not that I am desperate, I am just totally lost now. I don’t want to lose him but I do not want us to be together on some wrong basis. Maybe I should just be glad and hopeful that we are at a kissing/meeting stage and act positive hoping for him to say we can be together again? What’s your view on all this? How should I behave in this situation? Many thanks in advance for your insight and any help

admin

January 24, 2014 at 4:40 am

Kissing and meeting stage can be fun.

I think the key in situaitons like this is to be very patient. If you rush it along things can get really messed up.
Ewel

January 24, 2014 at 6:43 am

Thanks Chris. But is no contact an option or is it just too late for it at this stage and I should just stay patient and be grateful for his attention at all? If no contact makes no sense now, should I initiate dates or just wait for him to call me?

Jld_sail

January 14, 2014 at 11:29 pm

I’m on this website a lot. My ex broke up 6 months ago because he fells out of love. We did no contact for a month they when he texted me said he still had strong feelings for me but at the time he was seeing someone else. He stopped seeing her and we started seeing each other just as friends (with benefits I must say) we went to dinner, movies, hang out at his place, him falling asleep in my lap everything flirtting all the time. It’s been six months since the break up and he is still saying he doesn’t feel like he could come back with me he’s not interested in a relationship with me etc. I asked him if he could ever fall back in love with me then he went mad asking me to stop (everytime I mention feelings he does this) to that I just said that if he could never love me again it would be easy to tell me. But when I tell him fine then I don’t think we should see each other anymore he freaks out and says that he wants me in his life just not in a relationship so am I getting played? He does have self confidence issues but after six months should I just move on with my life?

admin

January 15, 2014 at 6:46 pm

Your on this website a lot?

ME TOOO!!!

😉

Well, have you tried everything I have recommended yet?
Jld_sail

January 17, 2014 at 5:15 am

Ya pretty much… Now he’s just saying that he’s turned all emotions off which well is true he has become the male equivalent of a cold b**ch. He gets mad when I don’t text him for a couple of days but then he doesn’t text me first. I’m just so confused. I know I’m too important to him for him to let me go he goes mad when I say I should go away for a bit give him space. He’s super protective and always asks tons of questions about the guys I’m possibly seeing and then always comments oh you could do better than that. We spend evenings cuddling of his couch watching movies or just TV. But no: he says that he doesn’t think he could get back with me. His moms still refers to me as his girlfriend when she talks to her friends and the rest of his family. He bought my mom’s Christmas gift because he knew I didn’t have time to go get it. But no hand holding no spontaneous kisses or touches like he’s afraid of something. The other he shoots: I’m fighting myself. Then I ask about what and he just continues on like he never said anything. The need vs want part of me is sure: I do not need him but I want to be with him. Given I am his first ever on well pretty much everything not that he has not been with other girls after but why trying so desperately to keep me around if he is not interested in a relationship with me at all?

Gianna

January 6, 2014 at 7:09 pm

A few days ago, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. He said his work schedule is crazy and the little time he does have available he’d like to be with his friends rather than me because they are more fun. He said if he had more time to split between a girlfriend & his friends, this relationship would’ve worked. Based on his reasons for breaking up, do you think he’d be willing to try again in a few months?

admin

January 7, 2014 at 6:35 pm

Not sure.. it all depends on how you approach the situation.
Gianna

January 7, 2014 at 6:54 pm

How would you recommend approaching it?

Sasha

January 6, 2014 at 6:39 am

Hi,

Me and my boyfriend of 3 years just ended things. I recently moved to a new city for my masters and I guess the long distance isn’t working for him as he claims he is co-dependent and needs his life planned out. We both still love each other very much and are both devastated by the breakup. We have not really spoken about why it happened and how the other person really feels about the break up. Should I leave it alone and just have no contact or do I initiate an emotional conversation? I want to get back together with him but don’t want to be the crazy bitch…

Help!
Rachel

January 5, 2014 at 5:25 pm

Hey Chris,
I’ve posted a f times but could really do with some advice now that we have had a “chat” so I basically did a month of limited contact which worked and he was chasing me. We finally met up and talked.. We had a great time but after a few drinks we ended up sleeping together. I don’t think if we would have properly talked if we had just met up for a coffee for an hour. My ex is very closed and struggles to communicate sometimes in how he is feeling. When he has had a drink he is a lot more open. The following day I said that I regretted it. And he said that we shouldn’t regret it, as those feelings just won’t go. We talked much better in the morning and it was more relaxed. He said that we both needed to get ourselves sorted and one we were we could talk again about getting back together.

He said that he was not interested in other women and had said that he was really focused on getting himself sorted. I said that I wasn’t interested in anyone else, but I had been getting harassed by someone. Which he really wanted to know more about and has made a joke about it over txt, when I said I was going out. I said that the guy was weird and wasn’t interested. Sorting myself out is my priority.

Even though I slept with him, I do and not regret it. We did have suh a positive time after all, he even commented on it. He has since txt me everyday and has arranged to do an event with me in spring.

He has now brought up positive memories by sending a picture of a love letter. . I asked if he had just found it and that we had fun at the place. And asked if he still had a book I had made him. I got a cool response of yeah I’ve still got it and it was nice. I haven’t responded back as it sounds he doesn’t want to make conversation. I don’t want to be on the becon call, when he txt’s. but then if I leave it I get short responses.

The only thing I can do is now get on with my time for me again.. But actually do it for real, with feeling. But I do find it confusing with this texting I’m worried I will be friend zoned, and If I sleep with him again I will defo be in the FWB. How do I Handel this. NC would hurt him I think now as we agreed on speaking again in a month but I also want my space. HELP 🙂

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733 thoughts on “This Is How Long It Will Take To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”