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Post categories
Katie
March 17, 2016 at 9:02 pm
I’ve followed all these step up too the jealously stage and they have all successfully worked! My ex has made contact with me first and has actually talked about old memories together. (Which I never thought I would get so far) However his birthday is coming up, so do I ignore him or do I wish him a happy birthday? As I’ve gotten so far with these stages I don’t want to ruin it by one mistake
Thanks in advance!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 7:56 am
Hi Katie,
Since you’re done with nc, you can greet him.
Vanessa
March 17, 2016 at 6:17 pm
I bought the ex boyfriend recovery and since then I met up with my ex after three 30 day no contacts where he always calls me, but I think I’m failing on the what do when we meet up again we go out and it’s fun but then he becomes distant again. Is there something more specific to do when he has already tried contacting me? I’ve also been working on myself I’ve already lost 18 lbs and I try to steer away from bad conversations about the relationship but he always brings it up, like he feels guilty about breaking up with me because he says he broke up with me because one day I broke down crying how I expected us to be at another level and he couldn’t stand me being sadder than him. It’s been 4 months now starting to feel like it’s been too long already, I don’t want to give up until I’ve at least tried everything! I haven’t tried the jealousy and dating, I was thinking of doing that but I don’t know how to bring that up to his attention… should I mention it casually or post a picture?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 4:18 am
Hi Vanessa,
If he mentions about the negative part again, just agree and say you understand and then ask him is there anything else? Don’ttake what he says personally coz he’s speaking from the past. You’re different now..
With jealousy, you can do both saying and posting.. you can just casually say, you’re going out and then post about it
Marie
March 16, 2016 at 11:56 pm
OK I need some help with my situation! So my ex and I have been on/off for the past year. We were friends for a couple years prior, and the romantic side to our relationship developed pretty easily and naturally.The problem was/is my ex is going through a weird time of life. Career change, family things etc. He claimed from the beginning that he didnt want a relationship, just couldnt handle or commit to anything at this point of his life.He hasn’t been in a realtionship for almost 8 years, got hurt bad from his first serious girlfriend and so only had just casual flings and hookups since then. He’s pretty set on being alone, doent really ever want marriage or kids etc. So hes ‘very good at being alone, hes most comfortable that way,as an introvert. All that being said, we would get involved romantically/sexually,and everything between us would be incredible!We really are best friends, never fought, had so much fun together, and our physical chemistry is outta this world! But sooner or later he would always get scared, tell me he coudn’t do it, walk away, but then come back maybe a few weeks or so later. We did this for a year. Last October he did it again, and we finally agreed it was real that time, done between us. Our talk was very loving and kind,he just said he couldn’t give me what I needed and deserved, he couldnt commit himself 100%. I found this website and did the 30 day no contact. After it ended I reached out and he responded immediately and very positively! We talked almost daily the next couple weeks,him initiating probably 70% of the time.Eventually he started saying how much hes missed me, how much he regretted what he had done, how he was just so scared of getting hurt and didnt know what to do in a real relationship. We agreed to meet up and talk, which he ended up not coming through on. I went into 1 week no contact, then we started back normal again. We began talking daily for a month, but again, not seeing eachother. He finally asked me to have dinner with him New Years eve. We hadnt seen eachother in 2 months, but it was so good like no time had passed at all. We had a really good night, very good conversation, chemistry etc. We hung out two more times the following weeks, and talked daily. We would share a sweet goodnight kiss after our dates,hand holding, long hugs but nothing else. Lots of flirting and good vibes all around though. I asked him his intention finally,and he told me the same thing as before.He cared about me allot but couldnt do a relatiobnship at this point. I backed off for a week agin. So,now it was Feb and his bday weekend, we talked and he asked me to celebrate his bday dinner with him at a steakhouse. The night before he asked to see me, came over, we drank, and ended up sleeping together. I know it was a bad choice,but we had a great time reconnecting and all. The next night,his birthday, I get to the steakhouse and in a crappy twist of fate he was pulled over on his way there and arrested on suspicion of DUI! So I picked him up from the police stationa and take him to my house. He is ofcourse, scared and upset beyond belief. While we are talking he starts sobbing telling me how much he appreciates me, missed me, wants one more chance to make everyhting right. I told him to wait, lets talk later when hes not so emotional over the nights events. He stayed the night, and we talked in the morning. He told me he really felt that way, I was the most importat person he had in his life, he was ready, just that we take things slow and he would tell me if he got overwhelmed. So we made it official, and had an amazing month together. Everything between us was perfect, mentally, physically everything. Last weekend, out of the blue he teels me we need to talk. I knew what was coming and sure enough, he wanted to breakup again. He said with everything going on he just couldnt do it, I deserved better, hes scared with whats goiing to heppen with him legally and he needs to focus on that. Said he was emotionally vulnerable before and knew now he could’t give me a realtionship. Im in shock, just the day before he was so incredibly loving and affectionate with me. Talking about our future,maybe moving in together etc. I know he cares about me very much, I feel like maybe he loves me too much and that frightens him, Im so heart broken. We are so perfect toghter. Ive gone bacck into no contact,on day 4 now. Just want some advice on if theres anyhning else i should do or not? I dont want to lose him but i also dont want to invest in a lost cause!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2016 at 2:08 am
Hi Marie,
He sounds like he has beeb best friends with his fear..which is bad.. it’s holding everhthing back.. Next time he initiates contact talk to him and tell him it’s time to stop miasing out in life and start living life..
If I was in your case, I would tell that personally and talk about his fears and how it’s being unfair to you and then do no contact.. And he has to work hard now, coz it’s become a cycle
Rocky
March 16, 2016 at 1:09 pm
I need help! So I dated this guy for a little over 2 years. He broke up with me about three weeks ago. He told me his feelings began to go away and he thought it was a phase, but at the end of the day of spending time with me (which he said he loved always doing) he just didn’t feel anything. He doesn’t think I’m the one, like something is missing. He told me he cares about me and that I was an awesome girlfriend. He’s thankful for everything I did for him and his family. He’s sobbing as he’s breaking up with me. Our families were very involved with each other and overall things were great. I was completely blindsided because we weren’t fighting. To me everything was fine because he didn’t express any of these feelings before. I do have to add, however, this is the second time he’s broken up with me. The first time we were together for 6 months and he broke up with me because of almost the same reasons. Not being sure and not wanting to string me along. Now it’s happened again. I love this guy and believe we are great together and he thinks so too. Why are his feelings for me so unstable? What should I do to get him back and to keep feelings for me?
P.S I did the no contact thing for about 3 weeks. Then i caved and wrote him a letter to talk. The talk went super well. I was really happy and we just talked things out. I didn’t show that I was upset. I was very well composed, smiling, and we were laughing and joking about good times. So I guess we are friends, but I don’t want to stay friends. Oh and last note, he’s my next door neighbor! Please help me!
Rocky
March 18, 2016 at 1:21 am
Ok so I’m definitely going to stick to this 30 days. Ending day 3 of no contact. Any other suggests since this isn’t the first time he’s breaking up with me? Perhaps you guys have different tips for a second break up. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 8:29 am
..hmmm just tha for now..stick with 30 days and be active
Rocky
March 17, 2016 at 12:10 am
The first time we broke up I did no contact all the way. I started going out again with my girlfriends and i actually started bartending school. After a month, it happened to be his birthday so I sent him a simple birthday text and he replied nicely. Then a week later he texted me and we started up again little by little. He said he saw a picture of me bartending on facebook and he got him thinking. I started no contact again, it’s been two days since we got together and spoke. I’m going out again and focusing on me. It’s just hard because this time around he lives next door to me so it’s so tempting. What do you suggest? No contact again and just let him come to me like last time?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2016 at 2:10 am
yes but this time stick with your set day of no contact before talking to him
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2016 at 10:38 pm
Hi Rocky,
Maybe it got boring for him..how dod you get him back the first time you broke up and do you want to do nc again? How did you do the first nc too? were you proactive?
S
March 14, 2016 at 8:33 pm
Hii, I’d love some advice on my situation. I was in 1 1/2 year relationship, before my ex called it quits last December. We did have issues, but it was all things that could have been avoided. Towards the end of the relationship I made all the common mistakes, during and after the break up. The being clingy, showing up, texting and calling too much. At one point I was even blocked off his phone. He was refusing to see me as well.
After no contact, we started talking again. He unblocked me but made it clear that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me due to my previous behaviour. Eventually we started talking more and more and last week he came over. I saw him after ages and we spent a few days together last week, it felt amazing and it gave me some kind of hope. We even went to the movies, we held hands in public like a normal couple.
I really want him back and I am trying to show him I have changed, but he still says he doesn’t want our relationship back. He also says that he doesn’t think we should meet up anymore incase one of us meets someone else, which makes me think he could have someone, and that he doesn’t want to string me along. Some days I feel as if there is hope, and others I don’t. I’m not sure what to do now. He has made it clear that he wont come back, but he has came back so many times in the past, and from being blocked, to actually meeting up with each other, I really believe we’re making progress. I just need to know if you think there’s hope or not. He says he doesn’t want me, yet he makes time to talk and see me (no sex). I just feel hopeless, I’m scared he might move on or even cut me off me for good..
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I would love your feedback.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 15, 2016 at 1:30 pm
HI S,
Do the push pull. Be unavailable sometimes, and try a little jealousy.. You don’t have to date, just spend time with other people, it can be a groups of people and be happy with them. Don’t raise the relationship topic to him, let him just be the one to raise it.
Evanlyn
March 14, 2016 at 2:55 am
My boyfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago and he said that I was very negative and it was bringing him down. The frist 2 days after we broke up I very stupidly talked to him and explained to him why he should take me back and that I 100% could be a more positive and happier person. After those 2 days, I immediately started the 30 NC realizing how desperate I looked. I began working on myself and already I am a much more positive person and it feels really good! About 2 nights ago, we were both at the same party and had had a little too much to drink. We got to talking about us and the conversation was kind and first and then turned into the same desperate conversation. He sounded very angry with me and said he needed to get over old negative me before he was ready to see new happy me. He said that he had seen my happiness and positivity around our building complex but he said that he felt as though it was fake (which is not true, but its his opinion). Today I am restarting my 30 NC and possibly extending it further. Even after that conversation at the party, is it possible that things can still work out if I truly give him the space he needs?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 15, 2016 at 11:23 am
HI Evanlyn,
Yes it is.. If he continues to see you being happy, he will see that you really changed.
Cara
March 13, 2016 at 7:41 pm
hi,
i was in a distance relationship for 6 months. when we saw each other it was always something special and amasing. i was going to have holidays and visit him for a while. but he ended things before. we tried to talk but it was emotional. he said he doesnt want a distance realtionship but told me he felt for me. he suddenly stopped any contact with me a week later. i was confused because he didnt ended it clearly. and we really had to talk. so i decided to go to him. it was worth the thing i thought because i was in the dark. he suddenly was really rude as i told him that i will come. said i would be not welcome and that he is done. but if somebody you have a realtionship with suddenly ends it like this, you want to know what happend or if i did something. i took the plain there. knocked on his door. he opend, an other girl was lying on his bed. he said i showed leave or he will call the police. i slapt him in his face and went away. well that was horrible. but it was truley something that we had. i want to write him a letter, ask if she was the reason he broke up, and want to know if what we had was real, so i can trust people again, because i have the feeling i missjuged him. is it better to not contact him at all? do you think, by hearing this, that she is a rebound. i hated that i wasnt the girl he ran after, after i saw him and the girl. it could even be, that in his story i am the bad one, who came, even if he said i shouldnt. but i did, because i thought it meant something to him to, he made me believe so, and then he kicked me out like a dog, and has an other girl. i still love him, and i need the truth from him. but waiting for a message or even an apolgie will never work. what can i do? please help p.s. i already have this letter, not sure if i should send it to him. i am going on a 3 week trip. should i send it before?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2016 at 4:03 pm
Hi Cara,
Why letter? Why not a text? I think you should ask him first calmly for you to be at peace
Kelly
March 13, 2016 at 12:42 am
So, I’ve wrote you to previously, it’s been three weeks today since my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and we’ve had no contact, I’m returning to work on Monday after having 2 weeks already booked off and I couldn’t feel any more anxious about it. To see him and the girl who constantly flirts with him. It bothers me so much. I still have strong feelings for him and they seem to be getting even stronger even though I haven’t seen him or spoke to him. When I sleep I have dreams about him that we’re happy and then I wake up and feel so depressed and down. He’s not bothered to talk to me via text or social media. I miss him so much and I love him so much. I don’t know what to do anymore.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 13, 2016 at 7:39 am
Hi Kelly,
prepare to look your best when yoi gwt back.. think of your time now for yourself, when you get back, you might be more stresses to be around them.. so, be in the now.. they’re not getting stressed when you’re stressed..So, don’t waste your time and energy on them..
Gamer
March 12, 2016 at 11:52 pm
Amor, do these work with an ex long distance relationship?(We are still living far from each other.) Or do you recommed any different method?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 13, 2016 at 7:17 am
Hi Gamer,
We have success stories with ldr but it differs from every situatio
Mia
March 12, 2016 at 8:23 pm
Hi everyone…so my boyfriend left me this Monday..he said he can’t do ltr anymore and is not ready..but he told me he still loves me and misses me alot so I decided to give him a chance to misses me more and realize what we had with no contacting him completely for at least month. He contacted me 2 days ago and I ignored him. And I felt impowered and strong in some way because of that. I mean, even if he doesn’t come back, I’ll still keep my pride, right?
The problem is… I feel my mum ruined everything today! She was texting with his sister and told her I’m sad and loves him. Now if she tells him that (and probably will), he’ll no longer wondering about me and why I’m not responding to him! And probably will start feel some kind of pity for me and we all know it kills the attraction ’cause nobody is into low value person. So my question is – am I in the begining again?
Mia
March 13, 2016 at 3:35 pm
Thank you! I’ll certainly do that!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 13, 2016 at 6:36 am
Hi Mia,
nope, you won’t restart.. As long as you’re not in direct contact..Just ask your mom to retract or stop talking to his sister.. he will probably wonder why you’re not contacting if you’re sad.. and also post your activities and your progress to show you’re not depressed
Brianna
March 10, 2016 at 7:00 am
My partner and I had been together for 17 months. We went on a break within the first 5 months and missed each other so much that he couldn’t stay away from me travelled to come and see me without any notice. From that day we were madly in love, talked all day until we both went to sleep. We had an amazing Christmas break with my family at our shack. After that, we began to constantly fight to the point where he would sleep in the spare room. Over the past two weeks he has enjoyed going out with his mates until all hours of the night without communicating with me but reckons I just don’t like him having fun. So this Sunday after he got home at 2am drunk, I made the hard decision to move out. I had my family help me move and I took our puppy as well. We have spoken since and he has said that he doesn’t want me back because all we did was fight and I hurt him by leaving him.. I just want to know, is it worth it or is it time to let him go?…
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 10, 2016 at 11:47 pm
Hi Brianna,
heal first, when you’re not that hurt and emotional..that’s when you decide about the relationship
Kay
March 9, 2016 at 9:28 pm
Been with my boyfriend 7 years. Been through some difficult times in the past, which has caused quite some stress. A few weeks ago a scenario came up which made me really upset at him he hadn’t considered my feelings at all. On my part I’m aware I may have overreacted we were pretty off for a week, during my over reactions I was saying maybe you should take a week away see if you miss me! Whilst he was saying he wanted to try and grow up & make us work now not thinking it would come to this we are ‘on a break & he needs his time’ The spark has gone a little but we both still love each other & have a home we are both not currently at during this time. It has only been a few days since this happened & I feel I’ve been the person this article says not to be & I have come across as needy 🙁 I was defiantly not going to message him today because I’ve realised I’ve been saying too much & not giving space, but woke up to a message seeing if I was ok because he knew I hadn’t been eating or sleeping properly. Is it in your opinion too late now, have I blown it? I am obviously going to leave him be now like the plan was this morning. I hate how up in the air everything is I feel like I may have pushed him to not be able to miss me now? We both know where we have gone wrong and what we need to do personally. Like my confidence for one has been at an all time low and I’ve let it affect a lot of my life & I realise I can speak before I think to consider feelings. I love him so much and we literally have always looked into the future with each other in it, even little things such as booking holidays way in advance. 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 10:16 pm
Hi Kay,
I think you should answer him you’re fine and then that’s when you do no contact
Paige
March 9, 2016 at 5:45 pm
my ex and I dated for a little over 3 years. I broke up with him mid January after realizing he was my first and only boyfriend and i started to feel that I needed to live my life when i am young. We met in our first year of college and at the beginning of this school year he moved back to our hometown (which is across the country). we did the long distance from Sept – Jan seeing each other on holidays and the odd visit. The breakup was clean and we both agreed to be friends and for the most part we haven’t had much form of communication. Now its been almost 2 months and we have had 3 phone call conversation that have gone very well. Yesterday I found out he is hooking up with his ex gf and it started very recently after we ended. It gave me a really sick feeling inside and now I’m feeling that i want him back but I’m scared this is just jealousy of him hanging out with his ex again. In our relationship we had a very strong bond were best friends and he treated me like royalty. Now I’m wondering if i do truly want him back how do i move forward knowing that i won’t be in the same city until the end of April and that he’s been hanging out with his ex. Any advice is Appreciated!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 9:40 pm
Hi Paige,
if you continue to do what you love and if they’re after the honeymoon and you still feel that way..it may be more than just jealousy.. but you can also think about if she is not in picture would you want him back and why?
Elizabeth
March 8, 2016 at 9:21 pm
Hello,
I would really appreciate some advice on my situation. I have bought and tried some other programs, but so far I haven’t really gotten anywhere, so I am hesitant to buy this program…
My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little less than a year. Our relationship was very loving and we were both very happy. It went through many trials, but we always came out stronger than before. In the first few months of the relationship we were at the same school and became close very quickly. I then got to spend two weeks at his house over the summer before he left for another phase of Marine corps training. We had very limited contact (he only got his phone on the weekends), but we wrote many letters back and forth. We got to spend a little time together at the end of the 2 months before we headed back to school. This time I was in grad school about an hour away. Everything started out very well and we would see each other almost every weekend. He mentioned marriage and a family in the future and we were so in love.
Eventually I began to have problems adjusting at school and was under a lot of emotional stress. My situation wasn’t very good and I began to have anxiety and would sometimes be upset when he or I would have to leave, because he was my escape. He always tried to be very supportive and hated to see me upset. Finals were coming up and I was visiting him at his school. This was a mistake… He had work to do and I didn’t like the way he was acting towards me and my emotional state made it worse. So one evening he was sitting down after hardly spending quality time with me that day and I asked to sit with him for a minute. He said no, but I asked again for just a little time. I guess he had had enough of trying to always be there for me because he got rather upset, raised his voice and told me no (he had never gotten this upset before). Which made me really upset. We both tried to cool off a bit and I asked him to forgive me a while later. He did and then started to act more normal, but as the night went on he became more distant. By the morning he was hardly responding to me at all. Anyways later that day I tried to talk to him, but he didn’t really want to and said it would be best if I left, which I was already planning in order to give him space. So winter break came and he wanted time to think. I left him alone for about a week until he eventually reached out a bit. It didn’t start off well. He would just say everything that was going wrong. He said things like: I think we have grown apart, like we are just really really different people, I feel like you are trying to change me sometimes, and I am not ready to get married for a long time and I don’t think you are okay with that, driving back and forth is stressful. To be honest I don’t see the truth in a lot of those or they could be worked on. We were very close and I tried to tell him I didn’t care when we got married, that all I wanted was to be with him. I said I would be willing to work on everything and give him more space.
Eventually we started to talk more normally and I would even call him sometimes. I could hardly get him say I love you, except when we talked on the phone. It mad me very sad and probably in a worse state. We talked for about 2 weeks or so, but he slowly became more distant. Even though he did say I could come see him when he got back to school. About a week before that was to happen, he said we needed to talk when I came to see him and that I probably wouldn’t like it. I freaked out at this and it took me a bit by surprise. We texted back and forth and he would just say there is nothing he can say to make it better, and at one point asked if he wasn’t enough for me.
He came the next week and we talked for about 10 minutes. The only thing he really said was “our relationship isn’t working” and he said I couldn’t handle him being gone for 9 months to a year if he were deployed in the future. I tried to talk him out of it, but he is very stubborn and wouldn’t listen.
I did no contact for about 5 weeks after that. It gave me time to work on myself and gain perspective on the relationship. I had become needy and not myself and I believe it really hurt him to think he couldn’t do enough for me. I made him doubt that our relationship could work in the future if we had to be apart. So… after the no contact I tried to reach out a bit and followed the Text your ex back program’s advice and texted “Just played soccer and thought of the time we played and that guy kicked us off the field, but we snuck around and played anyways. That was a really fun day! Hope you’re doing well!” and the only response I got was “Hope you are too” I didn’t want to push so I just said I was good, but had to go. Following the program’s advice I texted a few days later “Listening to some Timeflies and I couldn’t help but think of when we almost got kicked off the train on the way to the concert haha. I’m glad I had you to make sure we made it! Thanks for always being there.” His response was “how do you expect me to respond to this stuff?” I didn’t know how to respond so I left it for a while but then he said “I don’t want you to send these anymore.” So I said “no harm intended, just thinking of you and hoping you’re doing well” He said not like that please. I said “sorry, some things just make me think of you” and his response really hurt. “That’s fine. you don’t have to tell me about it.” He was never this cold or mean during our relationship, he would show me nothing but love and respect before all of this happened.
So… now I am really lost and think I messed everything up. I realize I pushed too quickly and don’t know how to take that back. What do I do? I was thinking of trying to initiate contact in a week or so and just ask how school was going or something. It obviously still hurts him to think about the good memories, so is there any hope I can get him to see things can work?
I really love this man and would love to have him back in my life. And I know at one point he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I believe we are meant to be together. Please help me get the love of my life back!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 6:04 pm
Hi Elizabeh,
I think it was too much of a remembrance text.. it made him think you wanted you wanted to get back together with him because it was two rembrance text consecutively.. And also, I think you need to come from a mindset that this is like a total startover with the edge of knowing his interests..
It’s like starting to get to know each other, or in this case starting to be his friend again first..but this time you alteady know what he loves and not..
I think yoh need to take time off again.. So, he won’t think you’re still trying to get him back
A
March 7, 2016 at 11:33 pm
I’ve been in a relationship with my now ex boyfriend for just under 3 years, it was a really healthy relationship, we rarely fought, were there for each other emotionally and physically, we go to the same uni but didn’t plan it. We didn’t smother each other and only saw each other once or twice a week. We did everything right and for the majority, we were both really happy. 3 weeks ago, my ex boyfriend started getting cold feet as it came up to the 3 year mark (we’re both 18/19) and a week later he decided to call things off to “get some space” and “figure things out”. It was an emotional break-up, but the worst part is that I didn’t realise it was a break up. I thought he was asking to be on a break which is less devastating but still pretty hurtful. I was reasonable and didn’t shout or emotionally blackmail him, I accepted that he needed this time away from me and we hugged it out. A week later and there hasn’t been any contact, but then I notice he’s changed his facebook status to Single and changed his profile picture to have one without me in it. At the time, I was under the belief we were on a break only so was devastated and proceeded to message him asking what was going on. He got quite upset at how I was “forcing him to go through this again” and said a few hurtful comments to me. I ended the conversation and after a couple hours, sent a message saying how if he truly wants us to be on good terms then I will try to do this if he makes the effort. I sent him a challenge on a game we used to play as a couple to break the ice, he accepted it the next day and answered my message agreeing. I’m still very much in love with him but I’m devastated he’s done this, it seemed like such a rash decision to break up with me given how good we had it. Part of me is scared to want him back because I don’t want to be hurt again, but I cant be friends with him, everything just runs too deep that I don’t know how. It’s been a week, I’ve already done a lot of healing and outwardly I even appear to be doing well. But I miss him so much and I know he hasn’t just “switched” his feelings off. Is there any way I can get him back? Should I even want to? I feel like he has completely abandoned me and after the hurtful messages he sent me a couple days ago, he clearly is still raw about us. I’m going to have to see him in a couple weeks because we share the same friendship group at home but we haven’t seen each other since the break-up… none of our friends could believe that we had broken up because we were such a strong couple. I want to hope this is only temporary but what should I do? What is going on in his head?
Please someone translate this and tell me what I should do..
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 9:51 am
Hi A,
He’s more probably wanting to explore and experience new things and probably a new retionship too.. It’s not surprising for your age.. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you anymore.. and we’re not really sure too if that’s the reason..
What if he got bored?
So, for now, start the count of no contact on the day you stopped sending texts and talking..
Liv
March 7, 2016 at 9:10 pm
I’ll be to the point. I completed 30 day NC, then texted him something nice and bubbly. He replied well to that, but after waiting 4 days or so, he never reached out. I sent another happy text, which he once again replied nicely to. I am wondering, he responds well to these texts but I don’t know if he will reach out to me after that. Should I wait longer after texting? Try a different approach? It gives me hope that he will reply positively to my messages but it give me dread that he won’t reach other days later. He is a stubborn man; it is hard to say whether or not he is trying to get me to talk first.
Liv
March 9, 2016 at 12:38 am
But what if he never replies after 3 days or even a week? It hasn’t come to that yet but what do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 6:45 pm
If he doesn’t reoly righ away, try again after a 3 days of the first text… and then if he doesn’t reply to that, give it two weeks after that last text before trying again.. of he still doesn’t reply to that..that means you have to move on..
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2016 at 6:47 pm
Hi Liv,
What’s important is you’re the one ending the convo and end it high note
Sasha
March 7, 2016 at 8:19 pm
Hello Chris,
My boyfriend and I had split up after a 2-year relationship that the second 12 months he was in a different country and I have waited him to return but I could not wait up and left as well to pursue my carrier in another country. This happened about 8 years ago, after that we have not communicate, but he started emailing to me and last 9 years this went on and off, celebrating birthdays new years or he sent some nice poems. Finally I have returned and he wanted to meet. I agreed and when we met he said he had not a day past without thinking about me but he did not want to get in my way. I had felt the same way but my pride had always kept me to tell him how I feel. Anyways so he invited me to his place in another city to plan our future. Things were great during the time I stayed we talked made plans about the house etc. But when I returned I felt his texts were not the same aND he was complaining lots about his job. Well 3 weeks after returned I asked him if everything is fine and he said I should not ask how he feels as he has done too much already and feeling pushed. So I had no choice but to break up I felt and sending him an email saying I don’t want to push him and of he is not sure again I won’t put up with it . He responded as if agreed and suggested if this is my view…this got me upset and said things happened years ago and some of the hurtful comments he made and he can’t act like he did not do anything wrong a’s this was his choice.
We don’t have social media accounts and not living in the same city. Since that day we have not communicated. Of course this is more hurtful than the first time as we are both older, he is 15 years older and after making all these plans it feels really bad.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2016 at 6:39 pm
Hi Sasha,
So, how many days has it been since you last talked? And do you have common friends?
Mossy
March 7, 2016 at 3:22 pm
My boyfriend recently broke up with me because I was constantly checking his phone and noticed that he has been flirting with other girls, so I naively set him up but acting as another lady and chatting him on whatsapp, even though he did admit that he has a girlfriend he was enjoying the flirts and conversation. unfortunately he found out it was me who set him up alongside his sister inlaw and he was not happy so he told his family and everything turned out to be a mess. he told me he need time to think about it, and he will get back to me on his decisions, I will admit I did not stick to the 30days NC rule, I was constantly sending him messages and begging him, few days later he told me he is no longer interested, and I begged and cried and begged and sent people to beg him al to no avail.
Now he has blocked me off contacting him on WhatsApp I really do not know what to do. its been a week since his decision and I have not contacted him. I really want him back and everyone he has spoken to said he is sticking to his decision. please I need advice I need this man back in my life. we attend the same church, and he had told me to sit next to him in church as it will be awkward and because of him I have not been to church in 2 weeks, (I really do not want anyone knowing in church because people are already waiting on our wedding date) and I am planning to attend church next week and I know he will be there. Please any suggestion will be appreciated.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2016 at 2:48 pm
HI Mossy,
first, don’t live on other people’s opinions.. They don’t care if you don’t end up with each other.. They may get sad but they won’t hold you accountable for it.. For now, do you want to do nc?
Shrishti
March 6, 2016 at 11:52 am
Hi ,
I was feeling so off by the present scenario. Don’t know why but it feels like you can give me perfect advice about what to do.
So…I had been in a few relationships earlier but they were not too serious and were so immature. Then for a long period of about 3 years…I was single and I was quite enjoying my life. I met this guy at a concert and felt attracted…and before we can proceed, the very next day he proposed me. I knew that this was mere attraction so I declined and told him what I felt. But then.. After some days..I felt I needed him and so we came into relationship. He had a previous relationship with a girl for 2 years with which he didn’t felt attached. And so…he had approached me. Well our relationship was obviously a non serious one at initial stages…but as we proceeded…he started falling for me …even I felt the same. He said he was glad to find me ..and that I changed his life for better… It was all like a sweet dream till 5 months. He was too serious..he even planned everything about our future…and introduced me to his family. Obviously we had a few differences on some matters but we always ended up being together. And then one day… I found him flirting with a random girl on social site…I bit of overreacted..and all was a mess…and he asked for second chances… I said I needed time…and he said no he will prefer being single…and I said ok.
But since then…I’m not at all feeling good without him..bt I realised he is too egoistic.
Now yesterday I came to know that he is now again approaching his ex…the same girl which he least wanted.
I Can’t understand this …what is going on in his mind? Can this be a rebound? Is it possible that ours was a rebound? What I’m supposed to do???
Waiting for ur guidance…
Shrishti
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 7, 2016 at 12:57 pm
Hi Shrishti,
It’s possible that yours was a rebound… have you talked?
lilian
March 6, 2016 at 12:16 am
hi guys,pls i need your help,my bf broke up with me,cause i slept at his bosses place,with his bosses girlfrnd,he said he dont think he can trust me at all. but d night i went back to my boyfriends place i saw he had already packed my stuff asking me to our leave ,i left angrily cause he had already packed my stuff,but i gae him 2 weeks of no call den wen i started calling him he said he never wanted me back,so begged nd cried,nd even called him friends to beg on my behave,they did but after the whole talk he concluded on us been just friends that he really need time to clear his head…the point is that i really want him back and i really want this relationship to work out… so plsss and plss i need your advice for this to work,pls how am i going to get about this,would love it if you reply me…
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 6, 2016 at 8:00 am
Hi Lilian,
I hope we can guarantee you’ll get him back, but we’ll help as much as we can.. You explained to him that nothing happened rigt and that your boss’ gf was also there?