The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Fels

March 5, 2016 at 3:30 pm

Hi Amor,

My ex kinda broke it off with me over the phone 4 days ago telling me he’ll come see me when he can. Obviously, he didn’t contact me and I didn’t push it even though I really hated the idea of being dumped and not being able to see him. However, I just stopped contacting him since then because the reason why he broke it off was because he hit a really low point in life a lot of it related to his financial situation (he found himself behind a lot of credit card payments) and he had been through a few jobs mainly because they were either paying too low or there was friction with the executives. Things were on a downward spiral about 6 months back when he lost the job that paid him the best and started struggling financially which also resulted in him becoming increasingly moody, angry, upset and having low self-esteem. He told me that he needed a break but during which he still talked to me everyday which usually ended badly because he would be really negative and I would be asking questions that he would hate answering and started pushing me away a lot because of it. Eventually, he told me that I shouldn’t wait around for him, that he has too much catching up to do, that he isn’t happy with himself and that it isn’t fair for me. He told me that he loved me, it was a perfect relationship and I was great but he just didn’t want it and he can’t explain why. So yeah… After that conversation, I just didn’t bother with contacting him anymore… Because I just feel that every message or every meet up will just make things worse because his situation isn’t getting any better and therefore his mood is affected and we won’t have a good conversation.

With his situation… Is is still possible for me to get him back? We’ve been together a little over a year, and I really really love him and want him in my future… I just need him to see past his problems (which he finds too difficult to). We’re in our late 20s.

Fels

March 7, 2016 at 7:53 am

Hey Amor,

Unfortunately to fully help him out of his situation is out of my ability, but I did offer to lighten his load here and there so that he can still live comfortably from day to day, but he flat out rejected the idea saying that he doesn’t want to owe me anything. I stopped contacting him since then and today he texted me “I love you”. I feel like at this point there isn’t much I can do to step up my game to bring us back together until he slowly finds himself again and maybe he would give us a chance. All I can do is just live my life and let time tell… Do you think there’s anything I can do to make him desire to be in a relationship again despite his hardship?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 8, 2016 at 1:23 pm

That’s right!! it’s good you know that.. he has to grow and learn it himself..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 6:10 am

Hi Fels,

can you help him in some way?

Help!

March 3, 2016 at 11:59 pm

Hi so my ex and I are in a cyclical relationship, and we are in the “off” phase. However, this time it really feels like this could be the end…that’s why I bought your book. Anyways, I was doing well with NC for 7 days. I deleted his number (but kept in on paper just in case) so I wouldn’t have the urge to text him. Today I got a missed call from an unfamiliar # and I went through my missed calls list. I saw an unifentified number thinking it was the missed call I received earlier that day but it turned out to be my ex’s # from when he called a week ago!! So I texted “hello, I missed a call from this # earlier. May I ask who this is?” And then I realized too late that it was him. But shortly after the first text I said, “sorry I just realized who this is…completely disregard these messages”. And he responded 10 minutes later saying, “sorry I didn’t mean to call you.” (Which he knows he didn’t call but he may now think he did). Anyway my question is: Do I have to start NC all over again? And what do you think it means that he responded so soon, even though I told him to completely disregard the texts from me? Did I totally mess up the game plan?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2016 at 7:00 am

Nope you don’t have to restart… we’re not sure how he took it but it looks like he’s not angry

Lily

March 3, 2016 at 9:26 am

Hi Amor,
(I’m a foreigner sorry for my bad english)
I’ve been dating him for 2 years and 3 months. We’re 22 and we’re studying in the same university. I also live near him so I was always with him, I kinda started to live with him.
He broke up with me the day after he met my whole family (grandma, aunts and uncles…) on Valentine’s day… That day he told me that he was so happy and that he was so in love with me, I could see it in his eyes.
But the day after, everything ended. He said that didn’t plan to break up that day but when I told him not to do something, he exploded. He said that although we love each other, we are too different so that why we often disagree and have little fights… but it always ends with a “sorry i love you” and a big hug. It’s true that it was a problem but I didn’t know that he would break up for that without speaking seriously to me before. He was tired and I can understand that because I told him one day that it wasn’t “like before” and because of that he really thinks that I knew that we’re gonna break up but he’s so wrong! I was shocked, i didn’t want to believe it. I concluded that I wanted to stay with him cause I love him and I would make some efforts but now it is too late… He said that we couldn’t do anything and that I can’t save our relationship. It’s really over for him because for him our relationship was moving too fast and at the same time we started to fight for a yes or no.. When I told him that I’m in love with him he said that love isn’t enough and life is not that easy although he was very happy with me. There are too many contradictions, that’s why I cannot accept it.
Well, because of our different ways of thinking, he told me that he prefers to break up now than regretting few years after because we would suffer more.
I think that he’s not wrong but… I really love him and I think that we could stop fighting if we spoke about these fights. I love him because he’s different but it hurts so much to know that he doesn’t want to make some efforts now. He says that he still loves me but now he left me. I’m so confused because I know that his feelings are true, he was crying when he broke up but few days later when I saw him, he was ok and was normal with his friends who told me that he didn’t speak about us and that he seems very fine.
We ignore each other since two weeks now but can the NC rule works if I often see him (I don’t speak to him, I avoid him) because he lives near my apartment and we are in the same university and even in the same association…
My biggest mistake was to concentrate my whole life on him and now I feel so empty but I never cried in front of him even if I’m sure he knows that I’m devastated. I’m never alone, I always go out with my friends and my family, I always do something because I don’t want to suffer alone, I wish I was strong but I can’t sleep and I’m never hungry, I’m tired all day.
Is there a solution for saving this relationship?
Thank you

Lily

March 18, 2016 at 6:09 pm

Hi amor,
My ex came back. He sent me a message yesterday about giving me back my stuff that I forgot at his house. So I came because I was completely ok, but we started to talk about what happened and he said that he loves me and that he made a “mistake”. He cried so much, I didn’t know what to do but in the end, I stayed with him all night but I told him that I couldn’t give him an answer because I have to think. Indeed, I’m scared and I don’t trust him anymore… and I started to change, to feel free and to heal but he came back… I don’t really know what I want for the moment. But thank you a lot, reading your advice helped me.
Lily

March 6, 2016 at 8:37 am

It’s true that we can’t change someone. If I want him back I think it’s because I love the way he is, now that I lost him I realized a lot of things and I have regrets. I’m the type of person who never give up, I want to try before admitting that it may be impossible…
I don’t think that if he sees me sad would be a good thing too… I don’t want him to pity me, I just want him to believe in our love again. I just don’t know what to do
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 7, 2016 at 12:29 pm

I reread your previous comments. One of the reasons you said there was that you had a lot of arguments and fighting.. maybe after the no contact, when both of you have rested, and you start to talk again, it will be like a restart.
Lily

March 5, 2016 at 11:19 am

Thank you for your reply Amor !
But after the NC… I’m afraid that he is the kind of person who would think that I’m better without him, and if I look good after following all your advice, I’m so scared that he still thinks that we weren’t meant to be together and that he made the “good decision” because I’m happier without him. I respect his choices but I really want to improve and become someone better for me indeed but also because I want him to change his mind.
It’s weird to say that but I think that this break up was necessary for us to take time to think and I have to admit that we couldn’t avoid this separation. But I can’t let him go.
One of the reasons he broke up is that he thinks that I’m not very happy with him because of our differences. What can I do to prove him that this relationship was very good for me and not just because I love him, but he was the one who makes me smile everyday, he was a good lover, a good friend and confident… I made my list of what was good and what was wrong… so many goods and just few problems, but they were undoubtedly very important for him.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 5:39 am

well, we can’t change someone’s mind.. we can influence in a way but the decision is always their.. most of the time we influence somebody to change when they want us to be in their life and they know they have to change in order for you to stay…
do you mean if he sees you’re sad without him, he would more likely come back to you?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2016 at 2:16 pm

That’s good.. you’re doing the right steps during nc.. yes, you can still apply nc, just don’t talk to him and don’t make eye contact..

Yaya

March 3, 2016 at 7:06 am

Hi guys. My ex-Fiance and I broke up about a year ago because he wasn’t ready to get marries and i pretty much got impatient with him and left despite his begging. Now i miss and still love him dearly and would like for us to try again. I have tried other ways of trying to get him back without success so now I am trying recovery PRO. I am to the point of text messaging with him and every time i text him i pretty much get a positive or neutral response each time. The issue is i have not been able to hold him in conversation because it takes him SEVERAL hours to a whole day to respond to my messages. I’m not sure what to think but i would really like some advice on what to do next or maybe a different approach so that we can move forward in the recovery process. Thank You!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2016 at 2:07 pm

Hi Yaya,

If yoy have been trying for a long time..maybe he knows your reason for texting now and he doean’t want to go back.. or maybe you’re sending it in the wron time

Lynn

March 3, 2016 at 1:06 am

Hello, I would love some advice and feedback. My ex and I were together for about a year and a half. To make a very long story short, he left me, saying that “work was more important”. I won’t go into much detail but part of the reason he left was our (TEMPORARY) living situation and the people we lived with. Basically, a part of the reason he left was something that I had no control over. He moved out while I was at work and proceeded to ignore me completely. After some time he would occasionally respond and we met up about three times over the course of one or two months (this was before I looked into the 30 day NC). We talked a little, told each other we missed each other, and HE came up with the idea of starting over from square one, which I agreed to. The next couple of times we met, we talked, got dinner, we were a bit handsy and there was kissing; I was happy that things were moving along (I now realize this wasn’t the best way and that things were going fast, but keep in mind trying again was HIS idea and I was going along with it).

Then we met up with dinner reservations and he pulled a complete 180 on me! He started saying that he didn’t want a relationship, even though it was his idea and we were kind of already starting over. Needless to say this was VERY confusing and I was filled with so many mixed signals… Not only that, but it seemed clear (to me) that he was still somewhat interested in me. In fact, he even said a couple of times “I told myself I wouldn’t kiss you” and “of course I want to start over, if I could say yes right now, I would, but I have to focus on work”. We even did end up kissing and he followed up with a “I told myself I wouldn’t”

As a woman this confuses me because in my mind, I don’t understand why he can’t have both?

Anyway, after that night I never heard from him or saw him again, which only added weight to my confusion… Please help me understand: How can someone say they care about you, still find you attractive, admit they have to force themselves not to kiss you, only to ignore you completely!? After some silence I texted him and sadly became text gnat for a short while, because I was so angry at being ignored after what had appeared to be a slow rekindling.

This is about the time I found the 30 No Contact Rule, and with much difficultly, I did it. I did 40 days of it, actually. During that time I focused on myself. I worked out, I started painting again, I planned fun trips for myself and kept myself busy. I bettered myself. I feel different, in a good way. I reached the point where I am ready to accept that I may never get him back into my life, as hard as that would be. During the 30 day NC, he never reached out to me. He’s unfriended me on Facebook (no idea if I’m blocked or not, idk because I don’t poke around his page enough and honestly have no idea how long I’ve been unfriended in the first place), but he still has me on Snapchat. In fact, he hasn’t missed a single snap from me (and I post 1 to 10 every day). He always sees them. He does not post often, maybe two to three times a month, but I never look at them when he posts. I thought it was rather suspicious that he would post a snap or two on Valentine’s Day when he rarely posts anything anywhere, and on a holiday he doesn’t care much for to begin with.

Anyway, yesterday I sent out my first text after NC. I was happy, light and friendly, and I brought up a funny memory from one of our first dates. About 2 to 3 hours later he replied and it was friendly. He even asked me a follow up question. I replied to him but not until hours later, to which he hasn’t responded yet.

Anyway, does it mean anything that he’s unfriended me on FB but looks at every single thing I post on Snapchat? Do I wait a few days to see if he replies? If he doesn’t, what do I do? If he DOES, what do I do? I am a strong, brave, patient woman, but I am also scared and nervous that I am going to mess this up. Based on what I’ve mentioned, does it sound like I am doing things right? Am I headed in the right direction?

Lynn

March 3, 2016 at 12:48 pm

Thank you for your reply, Amor, but I have another question. Won’t it seem obvious what I’m doing if I text him again in a few days about another good memory? I don’t want him to catch on or come across like I have a motive. I have no idea what to text him about again that won’t look suspicious!

Also, currently he lacks a lot of relationship maturity and is very stubborn. Part of me is scared he will try to ‘wait me out’ with the text messages, which would result in me texting him again, which would hand control over to him, giving him some sort of mental victory.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2016 at 2:29 pm

oh, try another tactic…go with his interests or what’s current that would be interesting for him.. if he doesn’t reply to that.. wait it out a week before trying again.. if he doesn’t reply.. it’s better to stop than appear to be chasing
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2016 at 12:11 pm

Hi Lynn,

we don’t know when he unfriended you so that’s hard to say why.. And with texting yes you did the right thing.. you have to continue to build rapport if he replies until later on it will lead to calls.. then the calls to dates..

If he doesn’t try again after 3 days, if he still doesn’t reply, that means you have to stop

Screwed up

March 2, 2016 at 7:51 pm

Hi,

I have a bit of a unique situation so to speak. I got with my ex almost immediately breaking up with the ex before him. things were always rocky as I hadn’t gotten over my first relationship completely and because of this I lied a lot. When things began to look up, one night while my ex was overseas with his family, I got really drunk and cheated on him (kissing), i didn’t tell him untill 3 months later although he suspected it, i had been given some bad advice from friends. No doubt this causes a lot of trust issues and he made me tell him everything i’ve ever done and be completely honest so that he could forgive me and move on. Since this happened I haven’t truly felt like he’s forgiven me though I know he is trying. I am by nature a possessive and jealous try of girl which obviously is one of the leading causes to us breaking up. I never used to like how other girls used to get close to my ex and he would obviously listen to me because he didn’t want to argue, i would be short tempered and always grill him about stuff, wanting it done my way which of course now I see is petty. He has tried breaking up with me more than 50 times and each time i begged for him back. near the end of the relationship he was very non comital and disinterested to the point he stopped telling me he loved me. Even though he was still nice to me I could tell he was very hesitant so when he tried to break up with me, I let him. Its been 3 days since and i’ve been implementing no contact and a lot of the things written on this website, I’ve been keep a journal, going to the gym again, reading self help books to control my emotions and petty anger. I just don’t know if its too late. I used to be so good in relationships and He wasn’t only my boyfriend but my best friend. Do you think my situation is just too hard to win him back? I accept full blame with this break up and know it can never work unless I become more mature, which i’m working toward during this no contact period. He’s very understand and polite but I just don’t know if too much has happened in the past (with not very many 100% good moments being there) and too many second chances being given for him to take me back :/ I understand you can guarantee anything but I just want to know i’m working towards something I at least have a 50% chance at.

Screwed up

March 3, 2016 at 4:10 pm

Hi,

Sorry whats IDR? Thanks for the support, NC is proving to be harder than i thought! 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2016 at 4:48 am

sorry! it means long distance relationahip
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2016 at 11:05 am

Hello,

I think there is, since there is no cheating involved and you’re not ldr right? But full emotional maturity cannot be achieved in just a month, so just keep that mind.. everyone is a work in progress..take it slow and learn along the way

Sara

March 2, 2016 at 6:34 pm

My ex and I started dating in July and both of us admitted to falling in love on the first date. Our personalities fit perfectly, our nerdiness fit, we shared the same values, and the intimacy was both intense and the best either of us had experienced (we both said this). I had never been happier in my life and deep in my heart, I know this man is the one I’m meant to be with. We had wonderful communication, listened to each other, and supported each other completely. It was beyond perfect.

On New Years Eve, it was like a switch flipped. Things that didn’t bother him previously were suddenly terrifying. He started to withdraw and on Jan. 20th, we had the discussion of whether we should break up. We decided not to and to give ourselves time. He only wanted to see me once a week. Conversations became shorter and less frequent. On Feb. 9th, he said we were breaking up for good.

During the break up, he repeatedly said he loved me and wanted to be with me, but didn’t know what he wanted in a relationship anymore. At the beginning, he was sure he wanted marriage and children, but now he didn’t know what he wanted. I have a son from a previous marriage and he said he wasn’t sure how to be a step dad, despite knowing about my child from before we started dating. We parted after a lot of crying and he promised he would think about getting back together.

On Feb. 22nd, his best friend started an argument with me and I called him to inform him about it. I should have done the no contact, but I hadn’t seen this website yet. We talked and during the conversation he was cold and harsh. When asked, he said he did not miss me and that if he still wanted me (like he said he did while breaking up), that we’d still be together. He said I needed to move on and we were never getting back together. I said, “This is a mistake. We are the best things to ever happen to each other.” He said, “It may be a mistake, but it’s mine to make and I’m sticking to it.” Devastated, I went to hang out with friends and cry.

While hanging out, one of said friends (they are mutual between the both of us) said that on Feb. 20th, he was lamenting the break up, saying he didn’t know why he did it, I was awesome, etc. This changed my perspective on the previous conversation, reminding me of old movies where the kid takes a pet into the woods and throws rocks or yells at it to go away thinking it’s what’s best for them. Shortly thereafter he blocked me on social media. I texted him and said I

I have not spoken to him since and am going to stick with NC for a while. Mutual friends are trying to get me to do an event that I know he’ll be attending at the end of April and I’m considering not talking to him at all until then, but I’m unsure if that’s too much time. It’s killing me how much I miss him and I feel like there’s a giant hole in my chest.

I’ve been trying to focus on me and getting myself in order. I’ve been hanging out with friends more, going to the gym more, I even dyed my hair a lovely purpley red. I started taking a few college courses through Coursera and have thrown myself back into the video games I stopped playing ages ago.

I know this man is my soulmate. Whenever I’ve been in other relationships, I’ve always been attracted to other people (never acting on it though). I stopped looking after I met him- he is the most attractive person in the world to me. I’m trying so hard not to dwell and failing miserably.

What do I do? Everywhere I look it’s vague statements or instructions to things in the relationship that I already did. How can I get him back?

Help me Obi Won Kenobi. You’re my only hope!

Sara

March 7, 2016 at 6:37 pm

Works on mobile but not on desktop. Bought the book!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 8, 2016 at 3:31 pm

hmmm…that’s odd! Thank you for letting us know and Thank you for purchasing!
Sara

March 4, 2016 at 4:00 pm

Nope. Still just a blank page that says “This Webpage is not available.”
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2016 at 8:21 am

okay thanks sara! I’ll inform Chris and get back to you
Sara

March 3, 2016 at 9:48 pm

I’ve tried to open up links to the books, but they lead to nowhere. How can I get my hands on the books?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2016 at 6:14 am

It doesn’t open? hmmm.. Try this then tell me if it doesn’t open too
ExBoyfriend Recovery Pro
Sara

March 3, 2016 at 1:54 pm

Thanks for the response. Is it possible to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2016 at 2:38 pm

yes 🙂 I think there is
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2016 at 10:49 am

Hi Sara,

🙂 for Obi won kenobi! The truth is we don’t really know what he feels or thinks.. He may have felt that while. with your friend, but we don’t know if that is still what he’s feeling now.. We can only rely on what he said and what he does..

If he only indicates he wants to move in, then it’s better that we believe that because it’s in his discretion to be truthful to what he really feels.. he has to realize it himself if he’s not truthful..

So for now, focus on doing nc in preparation to move on.. you may try after nc of course.. but keep in mind that it will be a restart so, prepare on whatever his reaction is

Sarah

March 1, 2016 at 3:14 pm

Hi, Amor & Chris
I’ve broken up with my ex 2 months ago. He dumped me after we had a huge fight. We were so close and happy. Our relationship lasted for more than a year and a half. But he dumped me after a huge fight. I did ask him for another chance on the day that he dumped me. But then I stop contacting him for 3 weeks. After that, he texted me that he would arrange for sth for me. I texted him back that I missed him a lot. He said he has moved on and I should do the same. We did some talking and we kept sending 2-3 texts per day in average. He asked me to be his Japanese teacher a little later. He even sent some snacks to my place. (which obviously presents given to him originally from the others) I thought I had a chance but later I found that he was already dating someone else. We broke up on 3 Jan this year but he dated (travelled with) another girl already on valentine’s day. Everyone knows it now. I don’t know whether he was doing this intentionally or what….After that, I didn’t say anything about his new girlfriend but asked him for some contacts. He said he would offer his help if I could teach him japanese instead …We may have our first meet up after the breakup at the end of march….(not confirmed yet) I stopped texting him for a week now. What should I do to get him back?

(sorry for my poor english)
(in addition, he’s my first love and a lot older than i am (over 20 years). He did have plenty experience in the past but I don’t think he has the ability to handle a relationship well. And he is somehow a stubborn type that he once told me that he thought getting back to an ex was a silly idea)

Sarah

March 2, 2016 at 3:30 am

Thank you, Amor.
Sort of, I guess. I think he enjoys texting me back sometimes. But I’m just getting tired to start all the conversation by myself. I hope he can be the one to initiate the conversation. But don’t think it works. I keep thinking that he is busy with his new girl…
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 4:57 pm

Hi Sarah

Your English is good ;)… are you actually doing nc?

ANNA

March 1, 2016 at 10:11 am

Hi if someone read this, I need your advice. My bf decided to break up with me because we fight a lot. I fight him a lot because of petty reasons but I never shouted him or nagged him. And then After 3days of no communication, I texted him and said I want him back but he rejected me and said that during our 3days of no communication, he was very very sad and lonely but he has the feeling of excitement knowing that he can do anything he wants without me. He can go anywhere and go home anytime he wanted. He can talk to his closes girlfriends that he avoided before because I tend to get jealous and he told me that He want to pursue his dream first and focus more on his self before having a relationship again but he told me that he really loves me but not enough for us to be together again. Now, I am nowhere to go and I don’t have any idea if he’s still gonna comeback and have some a bit of space or he’s totally gone in my life. Please help me! I’m not really strict girlfriend just a pranoid one!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 4:31 pm

Hi Anna,

that means you have low self esteem.. if you ever restart nc, how would you work on that? or is that even in your mind to work on? It’s not to offend you, I just want you to see that you have to put yourself first before asking another person to assure you..

Anna

March 1, 2016 at 10:04 am

My bf decided to break up with me because we fight a lot. I fight him a lot because of petty reasons but I never shouted him or nagged him. And then After 3days of no communication, I texted him and said I want him back but he rejected me and said that during our 3days of no communication, he was very very sad and lonely but he has the feeling of excitement knowing that he can do anything he wants without me. He can go anywhere and go home anytime he wanted. He can talk to his closes girlfriends that he avoided before because I tend to get jealous and he told me that He want to pursue his dream first and focus more on his self before having a relationship again but he told me that he really loves me but not enough for us to be together again. Now, I am nowhere to go and I don’t have any idea if he’s still gonna comeback and have some a bit of space or he’s totally gone in my life. Please help me! I’m not really strict girlfriend just a pranoid one!
H

February 29, 2016 at 5:14 pm

Hey amor and Chris! I need some insight on my break up story and what are the chances I can get back with my ex, I’ve been with him for 9 months and he was head over heels for me, with all modesty, and I loved him too and the relationship was going beautifully but he’s a bit of workaholic and is busy a lot of the times and being an idiot that I am, I was not very understanding of his situation and fought pretty frequently, about once or twice a week but we would immediately make up afterwards and everything would be perfectly fine. Then came the time where he couldn’t take it anymore due to to constant fights and my constant complaints and decided to break up with me but before doing so he was acting cold on the course of 2 weeks and would barely talk to me so he could prepare mentally for the post break up where we wouldn’t talk to each other and make me stronger, which was actually very considerate of him. The day of the break up came and it was all tears and I told him to give me one last chance and he agreed to do so but told me that it’s best if we take some time alone so we figure out things again, but unfortunately we didn’t do that, and we were talking just fine and then after 2 weeks a slight misunderstanding between us occurred and that’s when he realized there is no use and that’s when it all ended. We broke up again after 3 weeks and this time it was mutual. I didn’t object and he explained to me the reason why we were breaking up, we discussed the situation very calmly and also had a few laughs and I fully accepted my mistakes and it was lovely tbh. But he also mentioned that we won’t be talking for at least a month so we can both move on and clear our minds of all the negative emotions and afterwards we’ll start from zero, like newly introduced friends, and we’ll see where it goes from here. To also see if I really have changed or not. We both agreed on that, hugged one last time and went our separate ways. One last thing to add, and a thing even he’s agreed to is that deep down he still loves me but he’s is far too angry, hurt and disappointed.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 1:21 pm

Hi H,

So it’s like he said that both of you should do nc right?

Chloe

February 29, 2016 at 9:18 am

My ex long distance boyfriend seems to be over me. Is there a chance to get him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 9:45 am

Hi Chloe,

though we can’t guarantee you’ll get him back, we had cases of ldr that was successful to get their ex back

kat

February 28, 2016 at 10:56 pm

After we broke up, i kinda just fell apart, i dont know what to do. One of my friends talked to him and he said hes thinking about dating me again but he needs time to think, its been 6 weeks and i still love him. i dont know if i should move on or keep trying to get him back

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 29, 2016 at 1:08 pm

Hi Kat,

move on…heal first.. it seems that you’re chasing him.. If after you’ve moved on he contacts you again then good.. if not, the most important thing is you got yourself whole again

Jessica

February 28, 2016 at 6:58 pm

so I’m done with NC and he responded very well to my first text, a little cold but asking about me and everything, we texted a little more to catch up and now he stopped replying. I don’t want to text again if he never replies… so should I take this as a “I need more time” and wait another month? What should I do now?

Jessica

February 29, 2016 at 1:24 pm

Yes, he said that we might get back when I’m back in London but that we should both move on first. He actually never opened the message so I’m not sure he even knows what I replied. I guess I’ll just wait a week… worst case scenario I can contact him when I’m back.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 29, 2016 at 8:53 am

It can be. I think so.. He said also at first that he wants to move first right? Maybe he realized he’s not ready to talk yet.. Or you’re topic is not that interesting for him.. Try again after a week.. if he doesn’t reply..then that means he needs more time and it’s best if you try to move on on too as well..

C

February 28, 2016 at 10:35 am

Hello, my name is C. My ex fiance and i dated for 4 years. We lived together for 2 1/2. He proposed to me and we were planning our wedding. On the 2nd of februaury is when the final nail was driven into the coffin. We both went out that day and he ignored me all day. He didn’t come home until very late and he was very drunk. He said he was done with me and that he was ready to talk to other girls. He went out to get us food that night and i figured he was just saying silly stuff. We ate together and then went to bed together. I woke up at 7 the next morning to get ready for work and was trying to tslk to him about what all happened. He had a message from another girl calling him sexy. He always told me if he was going to see someone else he’d break up with me first. I guess he actually did. This girl is my complete opposite. She lives across the country, she’s blonde and i’m a brunette. She has a kid and he doesn’t even want kids. Apparently they wanted to get together 8 years ago. She’s still in a relationship with a guy for 13 years, isn’t that kind of cheating on her part? But whatever. He told me that he loved me but wasn’t in love with me. He said that he didn’t want to break up with me but he had to. He said he wanted to remain friends, i can’t do that. He also told me that if we were to work things out he wants to do them slowly and that he’s “most likely done” with me. I tried no contact for a week, today would be 1 week and then he blew up my facebook messenger. He’s been messaging me small things for the past week. I’ve been good at ignoring him until today. He got pissed off and told me to f off. I simply said that i was taking this time to work on myself and giving us space because we both need it. He said he didn’t need space and that he was happy and wanted me to have a great life without him. He is just trying to be a good friend. This all happened 3 weeks after breakup. I know i need to do no contact again but is it even worth it? I’m still in love with this man and want to spend the rest of my life with him. It just seems like he’s now done with me completely.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2016 at 3:43 pm

Hi C,

Let’s just say that’s a more reason not to contact him.. It may not be no contact but the bottom line is, stop talking to him now.. until you’re ready to do so..

Confused

February 28, 2016 at 10:27 am

Hi I need some help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year. We were really good together. Everyone loved us. I loved him to no ends. He loved me too. Sometime into our relationship, I did something that hurt him a lot. Ever since it has been on and off. At first it was okay, after I apologized to him and showed remorse, I thought he forgived me as we would still continue to text and celebrate festivals together. On ocassions we were even physically intimate. However, after a month of that, he wanted to stay friends. And told we being intimate was a mistake. I agreed to stay friends because I just cannot lose him. But I wasn’t wise enough to contain my expectations and standards of him and to only see him as a friend, so I ended the friendship. He was disappointed I did that but he agreed to it. After a week I went back and asked if he wanted to talk again he said no and that he doesn’t want this friendship anymore. I’m so broken. It’s been months since we’ve last talked. I know there’s the no contact rule. But each time I miss him and want to text him so badly, I get reminded of the harsh messages I’ve seen him text to a friend of mine, saying that we’re not meant to be and that he no longer feels a thing for me. I still love him so much and I know what kind of person I am, I’m never going to stop loving him. What do I do. Every time I want to reach out to him I get so afraid because I saw what he said about me. Help!

Confused

February 29, 2016 at 9:33 am

Hi Amor

Thanks for the great advice. I want us to start as friends as well.

Do guys usually always have three reactions to a breakup? One anger, another indifference and the rare case, sadness.

He never showed really showed signs of extreme anger. Just harsh words and that’s it. But when I saw the message he sent to my friend, he said “how are you” to her and added a “is everything ok”. I saw that as him enquiring about me but oh well he came back telling her he’s not good enough to handle me.

I’m thinking of making my nc 2months. Then start by sending him a picture of something we used to love. Without saying anything. Do you think that’s ok? Or too heavy?

Also, he’s leaving the country for half a year soon. Do you think it’s ok to ask him out for a cup of coffee or lunch?

Lots of love. Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 9:48 am

Hmm.actually they havr different reactions.. but in regards to your nc, why nkt try 45 days first? if it doesn’t work in the first contact then continue the count until you reach the 60th day then try to text him again
Confused

February 28, 2016 at 4:46 pm

I asked to end the friendship (because I wanted to only remember the good in him and in us) as after we became “friends” he started disappearing and wouldn’t reply my messages till the next day and so. I got hurt and thought leaving for good would be for the better. This was in January. After a week I went back to him but he said he does not want the friendship anymore. It was extremely painful but I left it at that. Because I knew if I replied, a bunch of pleads would overflow.

After about 2 weeks (first week of Feb), I found out my friend and him had a casual message talk. And I saw that he said he had no more feelings for me, even as a friend. And that we were not meant to be, that this break up was best for us.

I am just so, so broken. I’ve been in nc for almost 3 weeks now. In my case I don’t think the 1 month rule would work. Because each time I think about how I would reach out to him (after the nc) I get brought down by his messages. I also can’t tell if he still loves me (honestly), I haven’t been able to pick up any signs at all. I’m thinking it’s just indifference on his side.

I’m even more broken because this relationship was meant to last. We meant it. We had a future all mapped out.

Thanks for hearing me out!
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 29, 2016 at 7:59 am

yeah, it’s more likely that he’s being indifferent and if he is still like that after your nc, then that means it’s more likely that he won’t reply.. It ‘s also better to focus on your healing first..when you’re ready to talk to him.. start by being friends again first
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2016 at 3:40 pm

Hi Confused,

when did he say that? And are you actually in nc now?

Going well

February 26, 2016 at 10:47 am

hi

Going well

February 26, 2016 at 10:35 pm

Yes I have replied on the other one now 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2016 at 12:02 pm

hello
Going well

February 26, 2016 at 10:48 am

sorry was testing because I could not post on a different page, please ignore 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2016 at 12:03 pm

i’s ok! have you seen our reply to your previous posts?

Xilmeria

February 24, 2016 at 4:56 am

Hi guys. I need help about my ex boyfriend. I am so sorry if my English is very bad. It’s not my first language but ill try my best as i can.
First things first I had this incredible relationship with my ex boyfriend it lasted 2 years and 3 months. We had ups and downs, and throughout our relationship we’ve been on and off. We had our first argument because he was jealous of one of my guy friends because we talked a lot, we text, and chat but really he’s just my friend. so we had a fight because he ask me to choose him or my friend. It was really a hard choice. I explained to him everything but he kept insisting so I blurted out and and picked my guy friend instead of him. We broke up. On that moment It really made a big impact on him and that changed our relationship. After a few days we managed to get back together but its not the same as before but after months we managed to get back our healthy relationship. but There was a time that I cheated on him on a game. I met a guy on that game and talked to him. When he finds that out he was really hurt, and then We broke up again. Let’s just say throughout our relationship he begged me many times to come back to him. After that incident. I’ve changed for him. I loved him so much, we decided to get back together but this time is different. He has less feelings for me. the way he loved me before it’s different. Our relationship went down. He got bored of me. there’s times that i wanted to go on a date but he refuses he’s reason was he’s too lazy then i found out he wanted to go with his friends instead. We broke up again in February, 13 last week. I’ve been reading this site since then. I tried the NC rule but I just keep missing him. I texted him alot. he just doesnt respond. then yesterday. He responded I think He had enough of me. He was really mad and irritated, I told him that I want to talk to him for the last time. so I texted him and let it all out. He responded that he can’t feel anything anymore because of what happened before. He said this is our last talk. He also told me about a girl he liked for a very long time. He met this girl when I hadn’t met him yet. I was jealous and got worried. He blocked me throughout social media. So now I have no choice but to do the NC rule again for 30 days. I really want him back in my life. Is there a chance he will come back for me? is there a chance that his feelings will come back again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2016 at 12:38 pm

Hi Xilmeria,

Work on getting your self esteem back first.. and treat this nc as a breather for the both of you

Ms Asia

February 23, 2016 at 10:47 pm

If anyone reads this. Try not to break the no contact rule. I failed and reached out. As soon as I did it was the same issues again. One day it would be good. The next day not. I wanted commitment right away and of course he backed away. He wanted all the conveniences of me but not as a girlfriend. I’d listen to him complain about work, family and friends for hours. He’d visit I’d cook and have his favorite snacks on hand. Sex was good but I did most of the pleasing. We would go out and we took turns paying. My birthday came, valentine’s day came and he never made me feel special. I guess those days wouldnt be so important if a man treated you greatly everyday. I was so insecure because he would go on tinder. He advised me he just talks to women because he works around men all day. I assume it’s kind of unhealthy and it’s OK to talk to women. I guess I would be fine if only he had built some confidence in our relationship. But he always said he was confused. It was not fair that I was giving most of my time and effort but he just wanted to be friends. He was also confusing me telling me he wished he had more time with me. But when it came down to it I booked a vacation for us he outright said no. He just came back from a ski trip with the guys. I know I probably should have not given him an ultimatum but I advised him that once he comes back it’s either he’s with me or not. I have not heard from him. So I’m back on the no contact rule but instead of 30 days this is for good. And FYI I’ve only said negative things but we experienced amazing things together and have spent almost 3 years together. We can still talk for hours on the phone or in person about everything for hours. It’s hard to let go but it’s meant only for a certain amount of time. So to all you ladies out there, try not to break the rule and maybe that time away he will realize what he’s missing or maybe you, yourself will realize that you are better off.

Take care my strong women!
Kerra

February 23, 2016 at 9:40 pm

Hello! I’d love some advice! My boyfriend and I broke up just 4 days ago. We dated for a year and 9 months. We are in our senior year of highschool. We had a very happy relationship. Everyone was completely shocked we broke up, they believed we were perfect. But out of the blue, he said he didn’t want a girlfriend anymore. He said that I’m absolutely perfect and that I’m an absolute angel and he will always love me. Yet he doesn’t want a relationship right now because he doesn’t see himself with a woman in his young age because he wants to get his life settled in first. I told him I understand that he’s busy with his two jobs and his firefighting academy but he just kept telling me he doesn’t want a gf right now. He said that he’s frankly to selfish to be with me right now. But I’ve heard from mutual friends that he sounds sincere about why he did this and that he doesn’t know if he made the right decision. But when we talk he sounds serious that he doesn’t want a gf. I mentioned something about rekindling our relationship in the future and he said that he hopes we can but he doesn’t want me to sit and wait for him. I don’t know if i should try the no contact for 30 days and then try talking to him again or move on. Please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2016 at 10:48 am

Hi Kerra

why not do the 30 days and then let’s see after it whether you want to try or continue moving on

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