The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Maki

March 28, 2017 at 10:51 pm

Hi Amor,

I hope you are well.

Re the message you sent me on the 9th March is the NC therefore not worth me doing to get him back? As you mentioned if I do it do it to heal and improve myself. I have since seized contact with him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 29, 2017 at 1:13 pm

Oh I mean, do it more for yourself because that’s the right way of doing the no contact rule if you want to increase your chances of getting your ex back.

Sarah

March 28, 2017 at 2:27 pm

Hi, I have unfortunately only half followed your guide as I felt I was ok after about two and half weeks of no contact. I also stupidly looked at an alternative theory on no contact that made me question it,. I am now really kicking myself as I really was not ok and still can’t can’t keep hold of my emotions. It turns out my ex had been missing me too. My ex and I were together for 3 years. We had a huge fight in November and he tried to make things up and I pushed him away. In December I called it quits and three weeks later he had a new girlfriend. I was a mess and made a ton of mistakes (texting crying etc) I implemented no contact for a short time and then contacted him in the positive way you suggested. As I felt so much better and was worried he’d move on too. IAll was going well but I checked his Facebook on Friday and saw a picture of him and his girlfriend. This led to another argument!! I know he still cares about me and he even said he had been questioning the break up until that point. I know I have messed up. Do you think I can turn things around if I follow the plan correctly this time?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 29, 2017 at 10:45 am

Hi Sarah,

it’s your only choice other than moving on, so, go for it.

Josefin

March 24, 2017 at 9:58 am

Hi!
So I started dating this girl in Dovember/December last year.. or we actually met through a mutual friend in April last year. We had a strong connection the first time we met, but she was in a relationship at the time.
In September we see each other again during a dinner with friends, we have a great time and our connection is still there.
From September we start texting everyday, almost obsessively. We see each other in November again, and on new year’s we have our first kiss.
The whole month of January is great, she talks about how much I mean to her and she’s happy that her Ex isn’t her first priority anymore. (The ex and her are kind of friends btw, maybe had been friends with benefits before our first kiss as well…)
In february I notice her slipping away and just out of the blue she says she can’t do this and we have to stop because she’s not ready and don’t know if she ever will be ready.
We had two weeks of NC, then talked and met during a friend’s event. Then we have had some conversation back and forth, which has been hard for me since I still have feelings for her.
She obviously wants contact with me and thinks “the world of me”, but I feel like I’m ‘making it easy for her’ by letting her talk to me when she needs it. My friends think I’m always to nice and always thinks more about the other person than me…
We will have a mutual event last week of April, so I know I’ll see her then.
Is there any chance for us if I try the NC rule now? Or is it too late?
(I’m a woman btw..)

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 26, 2017 at 10:04 am

Hi Josefin,

I dont think it’s too late.. make the most of this nc and improve yourself and then take it slow in building rapport after

DJ

March 23, 2017 at 6:34 am

Hi Chris and team,
I just spoke to my ex tonight after telling him, “I have this crazy story, call me if you’re curious,” and he called within 2 minutes of me sending the message. I think things are going really well because he’s told me twice or so now that he enjoys hearing from me again (even though he’s the one who broke up with me 3 months ago lol). My question is: Would I be moving too fast if I asked him to meet up in 2 to 7 days? The situation is that we dated for only about 2 months, knew each other about 2-3 months before getting romantically involved, and our breakup happened about 3 months ago. I did no contact for over 30 days, started messaging him, and then got him to call tonight. He told me that he needed to focus on work when we broke up, but I feel like he’s got emotional stuff going on that he’s confused about as well and just isn’t telling me. So I don’t know why we broke up, have strong feelings for him, and am scared of moving too fast. (Or moving much at all because I’m scared of being hurt) Advice?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 26, 2017 at 6:38 am

Hi Dj,

don’t rush..If that’s the first call, build more rapport first

NISHA

March 22, 2017 at 10:46 am

I am doing my Ph.D in Engineering an Indian Institution. I have a crush on a guy who is doing Ph.D with me. I have even told him that I have a crush on him and I will be happy if I marry him. He said he will feel lifelong for not fulfilling my wish. We both are from different religion. SO it is little tough to convince our parents. He too likes me. He even kissed me lip to lip as he loves me. But he is afraid to propose me. He is scared as we are doing Ph.D in the same department. People here already speak that we are in love. So he is scared that this will lead to many problems and problem may arise to getting the Doctorate. If it happens he will leave this institution and go. In my home also they are forcing me to get married. I wish if he proposes me we can get married. He even said he needs a girl like me to get married. One of our friends he made fun of us that I love him. So he still got scared. He said me not to ask anything about this to him. But as he was scared I asked to that guy why you did like this. SO that guy scolded him for telling to me. Because of this happened now he is not speaking with me. I don’t know how to solve this and make him close to me as before. Help me to find a way out. How can I make him come out this misunderstanding? How can I make him fall in love with me and express his love to me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 25, 2017 at 1:45 pm

Hi Nisha,

read both the links below. It will help you understand on how to act and what to do next.
What Really Attracts An Ex Boyfriend To You?

The Ungettable Girl

T

March 20, 2017 at 9:57 pm

Hey!So I ‘broke up’ with this guy about 2 months ago who wasn’t really my boyfriend but we were seeing each other regularly,he invited me to parties with his friends (he never took any other girl to these parties).Everything was going great but slowly he started to act distant and when I was away visiting family and got back he decided to end things because he said he couldn’t feel the emotional connection and felt awkward in our “relationship”. I still have very strong feelings for him and I tried the no contact rule (only liked some of his instagram posts rarely) but I’m scared if I have any chances of getting him back!I mean he was so eager at the beginning,there must be some of that attraction left,right?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 24, 2017 at 9:01 pm

Hi T,

how long did you do nc and how much did you improve and post in social media?

vk

March 20, 2017 at 9:30 pm

Me and my boyfriend had been together for 2 years, and are still good “friends”. He broke up with me about a week ago, and we´ve been talking a bit about it, and we´ve been talking like normal. We spent the weekend together and it was amazing, but he has no feelings left, though he would check if there were. It definitely didn’t´t feel like he had lost the feelings when we were together this weekend. He says he´s sorry, and that he cares for me, and he hates this, but thinks its for the best. He says he still wants to be friends and still have me in his life. He says he doesn’t love me any more. I worry that I have tried to “fix” it, but have now started the no contact period. My problem is that i worry that he doesn´t get his feelings back, because he has felt this way for months. That the no contact period will help him see that he made the “right” decision. And i also told him that i needed to not talk for a while for my own sake. He said he only wanted to do whats best for me. Was i wrong to tell him that i wasn’t gonna talk to him?

I just really need a outside perspective. We could be great friends, but I think we are better as a couple. He says he can´t see us that way because he has no feelings, he doesn’t´ think we match anymore but I do. What do i do if he texts me? Or what i think is even worse, if he doesn’t contact me at all?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 24, 2017 at 9:00 pm

Hi Vk,

check this one:
Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule

Natalie

March 18, 2017 at 7:06 am

Hi Chris,

I have been dating this guy for 8 months. The chemistry, connection and attraction has been at a very high level and even though we argues and fought often we would always make up within hours of a fight.

His family is a bit conservative and has been looking out for girls for him to get married to. He has given me the assurance that he wants to marry me and will do that by mid this year. However, about a month ago his family forced him to go meet a girl for marriage. He told me before going and gave me the assurance that he will meet the girl and make some excuse to the family that he didnt like her. He also said that in this week itself he will speak to his parents about us. But i got insecure and told him not to go meet another girl. He couldnt say no to his parents so he went. When he came back, he called me up to tell me that he said no but I got agitated and used curse words and told him to go marry the other girl. I was coming from a place of insecurity and anger. He fought with me for a couple of days on using bad words but we made up and everything was fine again. After about 10 days, he called and said that he cannot do this as he is in shock that I could use curse words, he never imagined that I can do that and told me that he wants a break to think about it.

I gave him a break of about 2 weeks where we didnt contact each other. Later I contacted him, we started talking again but he was being aloof and not the same as before. So I decided to give him attention and make things work, I dragged this for about 2 weeks. After which he again told me that he needs a break as he is not able to forget the bad words and needs some time to forget all that and look at me the same way as he used to before. He said now when he contacts me it will be to propose to me for marriage else he wont. So I gave him a break again.

After 3 days he called me himself. He said that he is outside my work place and wants to meet me for lunch. I was in a meeting so couldn’t meet him so he left. After that I got vulnerable and texted him why he wanted to meet. So he said he cannot get over that and wanted to talk to me, was missing me a lot. But i cant be in this grey area anymore. So I told him to pick a path. Either be with me completely or be on the break and not call me until he has made up his mind. SO he said he wants to be on the break as of now. Wants to feel relaxed. But He cannot tell me he wants a break and then call to tell me that he is missing me and wants to meet!

Should I do NC to control these urges to talk in between the break. Or should I talk to him when he calls and give him attention, because he is feeling this way because of my bad words. I am really confused. I do not want to lose him. Please suggest.

Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2017 at 3:44 pm

Hi Natalie,

talk to him one last time
if it doesn’t work, proceed to 45 day nc..

Chants

March 17, 2017 at 5:03 pm

My ex and I broke up on Monday. If I can even call him my ex. We have had quite a rocky “relationship” we met last year April and hit it off, thought he was an amazing guy, clicked well. Then about 2 months later we had a fight, because he made an inappropriate comment. I thought we sorted it out, but instead he started talking to a girl from his past again, till i found out. He told ne he had went over to her place and she kissed him and he wad confused about who he wanted to be with. I gave him an ultimatum saying he had to decide. So he said he cant be with anyone.
I cut him out of my life and a few days later he came back. Saying he made the biggest mistake, he wants me in his life. So we gave ot another try. He was the first to tell me he loves me. So by End August (4months after we started dating) he still hadn’t asked me out. Had a bit of an argument, because I couldnt understand why he couldn’t make the relationship official. And eventually he did it because I said if he cannot decide what he wants, we should go our seperate ways. We were together up until end of the year, and broke up due to a fight over his mother interfering in our relationship and him not making time for me, and prioritising everything else over spending time with me. (about his mother – everytime he was with me she would call or say he has to come home now or things like that – he is a grown man of 27 by the way) same thing happend, we saw each other a few days later and decided to see if we could sort it out, as we were both going through hell after the breakup.
Everything started going so much better. He spent more time with me and promised to make the relationship official again. And surprise surprise, he didn’t do it when he said he was going to the first time which was end of January. I didn’t mention it, cause i believed he would do it, but last week was kund of the turning point. We were seeing each other for 3 months again, and he still hasn’t done anything to make it official. Which makes me feel extremely insecure and like I am just not good enough. Yet he would tell me he wants no one else and is going to marry me and has never loved someone this much.
On Saturday he was playing rugby and i left a get together with friends to go and watch him, because he told me he would love to have me there as no one was going to watch him. So I went to support him. Got there ans his friend was there a long with his family, watching him play. So was a little confused about that. Then when he was done playing and sat next to the field, a girl walked up to him and he got up, gave her a hug and spoke to her. Looking me right in the eye and not even greeting me (was the first time he saw me)
Really upset me, buy he came to me when they were on their way off the field and only greeted me then. I asked him why he didn’t even wave at me or tell me his whole family was coming, then he said he didn’t see me but in the same breath said he saw where I was sitting.and he didnt know they were coming. So i said I was rather going to leave, because it felt like he didn’t really want me there and he told me to go then.
We didn’t speak afterwards and still hadn’t heard a word the next morning so I asked him what the point was of this. He said ye wasnt going to fight and i just stopped replying. He ignored me the whole of monday, so I decided to ask him to come fetch his things at my place and thats when we talked. I asked him what was going on, and he said I over reacted and he just doesn’t think we should be together anymore. He took his stuff and left.
Afterwards he messaged me and said maybe things will change, but I was so hurt, I told him he broke my heart and things can never change again. He then said I misunderstood everything, but there is nothing to misunderstand. I told him if he walked out my door he was walking away from me, and that is what he did. He said I should believe what I want then and I asked him to please block me and not contact me again and he said he wont
Cried myself to sleep that night. Next morning when I woke up i felt so angry and I decided to block and delete anything of him that I had.
Haven’t heard of him since, but a mutual friend of mine said when he had asked him what happend with us the tuesday evening, it looked like he had to hold back tears when telling him. This friend also says he knows he loves me eventhough he might not always show it.
I don’t know what to believe. I also do not know what to do. Should i just move on? I have given him so many chances when he screwed up just because I truly loved him.
But now he can just walk away over a little “argument”

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2017 at 4:30 pm

Hi Chants,

try a 45 days nc..rebuild rapport slowly after.. if he says he wants you back.tell him to make it official first

Teagan

March 16, 2017 at 10:08 am

So I was dating a guy for just over a month and things were going so so well, he’s quite a busy guy (works 40 hours a week + uni + he’s president of vice-president of this huge project team at his uni) and doesn’t usually have a lot of spare time. When we were seeing each other he would always make time for me and would make the effort to see me every second day pretty much. About 3-4 weeks ago he got into a motorbike accident interstate and his memory started to fade a little bit but he still remembered me and told me how much he missed me etc the next three days I heard nothing from him as he told me he needed to sort some stuff out (uni starting back and managing his injuries) and I said that was fine. After three days I asked if everything was ok and he said he couldn’t continue seeing me and I asked why and he said basically he was so busy and didn’t want to give me false hope but asked to be friends. I haven’t contacted him since but he has liked every single one of my Instagram posts (about 10-15) and relatively quickly he also sends me frequent snapchats of his car and him and his friends hanging out. I was wondering if this could be a possible sign that he is still interested in me and might be wanting me back? Or am I overthinking it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 6:03 pm

Hi Teagan

it’s a good sign, but after nc, sint ask straight away if he wants to get back together..just slowly build rapport..

Sapphire

March 15, 2017 at 3:15 am

I broke up with my boyfriend and it wasn’t for a good reason, I was just upset. I’m not in the habit of just breaking up every time something comes up but my insecurities got in the way and I broke up with him. I regretted it and I tried texting him and calling him but he said he needed time to think. And I sent him a long text apologizing because I do believe I was in the wrong there and he ignored all my texts and calls and he wouldn’t even meet up with me to return his things. And that weekend he got wasted, which he doesn’t usually do. But a week after he texted me and said he thought about it and he just wanted to be alone for now. And I asked him if there was a chance in the future or if I was supposed to move on and he said that I should move on and if anything changed he would let me know and that he just needed some time for himself. And I’m confused as to what that means he needs time. Time for what? And I’m wondering if he loved me would he have just let me go so easily?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 1:08 pm

Hi Sapphire,

when was this? Do you want to try the advice above?

MP

March 13, 2017 at 3:29 pm

Hi. I was dating him for 2 and a half years and we lived together for about a year. Adopt pets and we spent the best time of our relationship when I move in. He never had many serious girlfriends, never been in a relationship like that. I’ve never presented anyone to parents (he has 29 years) and finally the last year he introduced me. Talk about our the future, about change our home, about marrige.
For a while I felt he further away (he was going through a phase with a lot of work and side projects to employment), it would have happened at other times, he seemed absent emotionally and then turned out to be fine. This time I felt more insecure than the other times, I began to urge him to talk to me, I wondered if it was something with us, threatened to get out of the House several times and claimed to be unhappy, but all with the hot head!
One of the times that threatened to get out of the house, he agreed and said he needed to be alone. In one of the conversations said that when it was fine on my search came, spoke of it as a phase to consider whether we should stay together, spoke to marry. After that I told him I said that, he wanted to work things out. After that he said he needed to distance himself, who was not well and needed to be well, needed to focus on his work. I tried to talk to him twice more about other subjects and he said the same, asked several times I’m sorry and said that wanted to stay away. It seems to me that wants to cut off all contact, don’t talk, don’t talk to me about other things, don’t put likes on Facebook (even in my professional page, a project that he helped me build and that took a lot of pride).
It’s been a month, I know he’s been too busy and now things calmed down a bit even with a lot of work. We had a great relationship, we had fun too, were accomplices and had very comfortable with each other. We were friends and I that he doesn’t want to keep the friendship with me.
What do you think of this? What I said makes any sense? There are things that I don’t know?
There’s hope he may came back?
Why would he want to walk away? Why he cut off all contact? We just because we didn’t know to manage with this phase, he was swamped and I started getting insecure, but never discussed, never bother. Even at the end we didn’t discuss. I don’t understand.
I’m going to start NC again (I do one week and I talk, 17 days and talk) Today is day one again.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2017 at 1:13 pm

Hi Mp,

stick to at least 30 days and be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media too..dont beg or ask to be back..just slowly build rapport after nc

maame

March 12, 2017 at 7:27 pm

I’d been with my ex for 3 and a half years. He recently broke up with me saying he had a lot of problems and that he wanted time to sort them out. A week or 2 later he was dating another girl. And even some of his friends thought he had broken up with me months ago but he keeps saying he just started dating the girl only recently. Despite all that, he still comes close to me, spends nights with me all in the name of ‘trying to ease my pain’. This was too much to bear as i get to see him every day. So i gave him up to the end of this month to really think about what and who he really wants to be with. I dont know if I made the right decision but i still love him and want to be with him forever. And he calls at times to say he wants to be with me, the next, he thinks being away is good. Just because he thinks i cheated on him. And truth is i haven’t. I dont know how to make him believe i haven’t. And how to get him back. What do i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2017 at 9:26 am

Hi Maame,

follow the advice on this one:
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t

Naf

March 11, 2017 at 7:53 am

Hello
We were in a distant relationship which we met each other 10 months ago.
We had a happy relationship which he always mentioned he feels happiness when he
talked to me.
6 month ago after my ex broke up with me ,cause after our meeting we had argue
and although i asked for forgiveness but he didnt talked to me.
I did NC for 1 month then when i sent him
message ,he replied me in a nice way then when i asked him for skype ,again he mentioned
the reason of break up with me .On January ,we met each other by Skype and he told me
he has still feeling but he has to forget me cause he has girlfriend recently.
We can be continue as a friend.I said OK but everytime we talked ,he mentioned me
that still he didnt forget my body and when i was saying,lets come back together ,he said
this is just sexual attraction and he has to forget me .He even never
skype me anymore since that time cause he said it is better”No skype,No temptation”
Last month he said to me happy valentine`s day than then that night i said to him
that i downloaded and watched all his naked pictures again and enjoyed
(After break up we promised to delete all of them cause we were gonna be friends)
He got angry and said delete the source and i said i cant cause i read our chats
which is in your language and is good for practicing.
then he blocked me in Telegram and in his Whatsapp i said to him i did and he said
i cant believe and blocked me there too.
Then i sent him an email that he was so cruel to me and broke my heart badly.
It has been 1 month we havent talked .
What should i do? Is there any chance he comes back?

Naf

March 15, 2017 at 10:44 am

After NC one day he was happy and flirty and the other day he was cold and whenever i asked him the reason he said”yesterday we were very intimate and we shouldnt cause this is just sexual attraction
and i have girlfriend now”
I know he doesnt have any girl in his life and he said this to me
just to show me there is someone who wants him.
cause after our first meeting when he told me we have to
know each other more and besides the bed and my touch wasnt good
,i got upset and i said your p***s was small and he got angry
and didnt reply me thats why i chose NC for a month .
Then cause i felt he is still upset and it seemed to me he
did push and pull theory and made me confused,i decided to reply his greeting that way to mention him,i still like his body.
Now i dont know if 3months NC is enough or not?

2-Since im blocked and can just send him email,after NC ,just saying hi is enough to get a reply?

3-Im also thinking to ask his friends to tell him i still like him.They dont know me
but i have their Telegram number and i can send them massage.What do you think?

Thanks in advance
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2017 at 2:47 pm

A first contact text can’t be just a hi too.. check the link below for a proper nc.. dont ask his friends to help you that way.. because that’s chasing..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2017 at 5:34 pm

Hi Naf,

I’m just curious, why was that your reply when he greeted you? It would be better not to send that kind of text again. First, there’s no rapport and attraction yet to be that flirty. Second, it’s devaluing yourself.. honestly, it might have felt creepy for him.. If you still want to try, do a last nc, and then take it slow after nc to rebuild rapport, becauee if you start sexually then that’s all you would get from him too..

Laurie Clarice

March 8, 2017 at 11:29 pm

My ex left me 4 months ago, after a heated fight about moving in together, he wasn’t ready. But we had come to a conclusion about me living closer to see other more often. And that wed revisit the topic in 6 months to a year. I was cool with that. He seemed thrilled to talk about future plans. 5 hours later after i left he dumped me over text saying it was over. No reason or anything. I made all the mistakes over the next several days with no response. Tried to get my things, he wouldn’t talk to me finally he responded saying he didn’t love me and he never did (which i dont believe for a minute because ive never felt the love he gave me more than anyone in the past). He said we’re not meant to be etc. I got my stuff about 2 weeks after and he just left it outside. Nothing since….though ive heard he hasn’t dated, wont date, feels bad for doing what he did …i haven’t tried reaching out since mid January and before that was almost 2 months. Nothing…. im so lost and confused and i miss him so much. I still love him. We’re not that young either, im 37 and hes 46. How to go about trying to get back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2017 at 10:55 am

Hi Laurie,

In those times that you didn’t reach out, did you improve yourself and were you active in posting in social media? If he sees your posts now, does it look like you’re not the same person anymore?

N

March 8, 2017 at 2:20 pm

My ex and I have been together for 9 years. Recently he broke up with me and told me he needed to focus on himself because he was unhappy. His unhappiness got in the way of our relationship and he did not want to stay and hurt me by not giving his all. It’s been a month since the break up. He is some what talking to someone. But doesn’t want to date, because he does not want to be in a relationship. He recently finally flew to see her. But says its not my business when i asked if they are getting to know eachother. We have gone through so much together. We lost ourselves trying to love eachother. He made it clear he wants to move on. But I still feel like a part of him still wants to be together and that he loves me stilk. He just doesn’t want history to repeate itself, because we did fight alot. Over insecurities and trust. He is moving next month. Should I still do the NC for 30 days? And just let him move?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2017 at 8:59 am

HI N,

Try nc process first. If it doesn’t work then move on.

Malia

March 7, 2017 at 10:28 pm

Hello,

So I’ve been dating this guy I met online for about 6 months, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for commitment and I was okay with being friends/dating it than hit the 6 month mark and I wanted to see what was going on but I got drunk ne night and kind of go into an argument with him and he said he doesn’t want to date someone who does that and its not like I do it all the time. He yelled at me while telling me this and said he didn’t want to date me now or in the future but still wants to hangout and be friends. I got upset that he yelled at me because of the lack of respect and I yelled back saying you hurt me and don’t ever talk to me ever again and I hung up. He texted me asking if I still wanted to talk about it but no respond. Do you think I have a chance of being friends and dating again?

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 12:45 pm

Hi Malia,

yeah, both of you were just angry..

Annie

March 7, 2017 at 12:11 pm

Im not sure ive got a chance! I was engaged to my ex and we r jus shy of bein together 5 years! I cheated on him in the beginning but since then we hav gotton engaged! He said he wanted a break three weeks ago that quickly turned into we were over and he had nothing for me! The past two weeks hes bedn givin me mixed signals sayin he loves me jus cant be eith me or cant be with me right now! I started the no contact rule yesterday as we have been fighting and im begging him back and its a mess! Hes jus updated his fb as single! Does this mean just let go?

Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 10:08 am

Hi Annie,

nope, its probably just to see if you would react..Check this:
EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?

Brooke

March 7, 2017 at 12:28 am

My boyfriend and I broke up two days ago after a year and a half of dating. I was in a bad place when we started the relationship (had just had traumatic events occur right before meeting him), and it took me awhile to start seeing a counselor. By the time I got help, I had already hurt him badly with some of my words/actions. Even though I was mostly healed, he was pretty hurt. Watching that as his girlfriend was hard and made me afraid I would fall back into unhealthy fears again. We broke up two days ago without any yelling, fighting, or anything, because we both agreed that we love each other very much but that we need some time apart so that he can recover from his pain and that I can work on being my own person again from a time before the trauma that had occurred right before I met him. We both love each other very much and do truly want to be together, but I’m scared if I implement the no-contact rule it will make him want to move on. Him and I are basically doing that right now, with the exception being we text each other ‘goodnight I love you’ before bed, to re-instill that we do love and respect each other and are still hoping for a future. Should I continue to do that?

Brooke

March 10, 2017 at 2:02 pm

What would be the appropriate actions to take? I have to see him everyday at school still. We normally smile at each other when we get there, and then go our separate ways for the day.
Last night we talked about it and he said he understood where I was at at the beginning of the relationship, and he knows he will want me in his life as a friend or as a girlfriend, but is unsure of which right now. He said he is still very hurt from the bad memories of me yelling at him at the beginning, and isn’t ready to hang out yet because if we hang out while he is still upset, it makes it hard for us to have fun because it’s awkward when he’s upset and then that makes me sad and then it isn’t fun.
I want to get him back as a boyfriend. What should be the next step?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2017 at 4:06 pm

try the minimal contact rule. Do it like the advice on this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 6:46 am

Hi Brooke,
doing that most of the time leads to being friendzoned

Yashira

March 6, 2017 at 7:26 am

Hi Amor, i’ve been with my bf for almost 2 years and we would always have our ups and downs but everything seemed perfect. Last year he left to basic training for the army and I waited 4 months for him( He would send me letters). Then he left for another 4 months but this time he could use his phone. He would text me saying how much he missed me and how he wanted to marry me and he would never ever leave me or hurt me. Once he came back the first month was amazing but eventually he started becoming distant and boring. We argued alot , about stupid stuff. And on my bday I found out he was texting another girl but he said it was just a co worker from the army. But because I freaked out when I found out he broke up with me and didnt talk for a whole month. I eventually asked to see him and we talked and got back together. After that, we broke up and got back together atleast 4 times in 3 months. Everytime he would break up with me when I would question him or ask him if he even loved me or was happy. He would ignore me the day of our fight and then dump me the next day. Only once did he beg me to get back with him and promise that this time would be different , but that only lasted about a week and was back to his old self. I do admit I have trust issues and would blow up his phone when he wouldnt text me back. But he would ignore me instead of picking up the phone and I would freak out even more. This time he broke up with me for the 4th time and it feels legit. I still love him sm and he says he does to but that he feels like I’m never happy and neither is he and he thinks its for Our own good. I begged him not to go and cried but he said he made up his mind. ( he always said that after a break up only to come back after). Do you think this time is permanent? Will the no contact rule work?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2017 at 4:20 pm

Hi Yashira,

there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but with most on and off relationships, he will probably come back again and if you are going to do a no contact period, stick to at least 30 days..

« Previous 1 … 13 14 15 16 17 … 149 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”