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Emily
December 23, 2013 at 10:56 pm
My boyfriend told me a couple of days ago that he needed a break that he was full of stress and that was the only thing he knew to fix it. Then three days later I changed my facebook picture to us and his little cousin got on and posted about how we broke up. So not only do I now know why we bro ke up but he couldnt even tell me. We dated almost a year. We broke up nearly two weeks before our one year and I desperately want him back I have n o classes woth him at school and he used to walk me to class every day and would text me every morning and night we would keep the phone on at night when we were sleeping so we were there for each other if we had a bad dream. I am completely lost without him. He slowly stopped woth the texts and then boom he started ignoring me. Please help! We dated once before buy that was three years ago and I ended that relationship and he ended this one. I dont have any clue what to do.
admin
December 24, 2013 at 6:59 pm
Have you attempted NC yet?
Kenzie
December 23, 2013 at 12:08 am
Hi,
My boyfriend of a year broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We had been arguing a lot and it was mostly me being stubborn about stupid stuff that doesn’t even matter, and I think he just was overwhelmed by me and felt really stressed. We have still been keeping in contact here and there. Mostly me texting, hoping everything with him is going well. Over the past couple weeks, I get more of a response from him in texts. I asked if he would ever consider getting together and hanging out sometime and he said yeah we probably could, but he needs more time. so i just said ok, hope everything is well with you. then a week later I texted and asked if there was a good time that we could talk on the phone, and he said yeah, but he’s been really busy with work and family stuff, but he said that we could talk on the phone with in the next couple days and then he said i hope everything is going good with me.
so thats kind of where it was left. At first i felt kind of good about it because I mean he didn’t have to respond or make time to talk to me if he didn’t want to. but then I kept over analyzing it and now I don’t know how I feel.. kind of down.
I thought I knew what I was going to say on the phone, but now I’m not really sure..
admin
December 23, 2013 at 8:07 pm
I am sorry about the breakup..
Have you tried NC yet?
Libby
December 21, 2013 at 11:03 pm
Hi,
I asked my ex to meet up in a city in the middle of our two different cities. He said he would rather go to my city and he “MAYBE” is going in January. What does this mean?
Thanks,
Libby
Melissa
December 21, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Hey,
I posted on here yesterday but I don’t know if it got posted. So I’ll leave my story again hoping you see it and give some insight. I know you get a LOT of questions daily – and I thank you for even reading this one.
My ex broke up with a week ago. He was talking to someone a week before he broke up with me that he met online. He had a blog last year and posted his facebook link on it so people can add him. She added him and I know for a fact they didn’t speak until a week before he broke up with me. He posted about a concert he was going to and she was going to the same concert but in a different country.
She is 17 years old and lives 8 hours away. We are in Canada and she lives in the States. She is still in high school and does not drive. My boyfriend is 20, is in college and has his license of course. They now Skype everyday and even made their relationship “Facebook official” yesterday. She is already saying “I love you” assuming he also does to her too.
They started talking and then talking turned into flirting and a week later he broke up with me. He insisted it wasn’t because of her but throughout the week (YES I was a crazy girlfriend and texted him and called him constantly for the first 3 days of us breaking up) he kept dropping hints and changing his reason to breaking up with me. I begged him to think about things and then after not speaking to him for 3 days I sent him a 4 page letter explaining how sorry I was for everything and how much I loved him. His response was nice – he apologized and said he was already in love with this girl and that he wants to try it out with her and he had no hope for us in the future.
I called and we spoke about things and I told him (to make him jealous of course) that a friend of mine was coming to visit me (he hates this friend) to make me forget about him… we got into an argument about it and then he ignored what I said after and blocked my number.
A day later he texted me first thing in the morning and he was (FINALLY) being nice with me and explained me inviting this guy is a slap in the face and what not. We talked briefly throughout the day and I finally decided to hide all of his belongings and teddy bears and notes he gave me. When doing so, it caused me to have a panic attack so I called him crying and he told me he wouldn’t get off the phone with me until I stopped crying and told me to just hide them but not to throw them out unless I really really wanted too. (He didn’t throw the stuff I gave him out, he threw it under his bed)
I asked him if he ever missed me would he come back for me, when I asked him that last week he said no. It was over. But yesterday he said he promised he would and he basically said I haven’t even given him time to miss me.
His parents aren’t okay with the break up, neither are our friends. Christmas is coming soon and I have so many gifts to give him and he does too. At first he wanted to give them to me but now he doesn’t… He doesn’t want mine either.
I have no clue what to do. I know I need to do a NCR but would that even help? I’m worrying myself sick with the possibility of this not even being infatuation with this girl and he is really in love with her (though its only been 2 weeks) ..
He has plans to see her Feb 28th and then again May 15th. He sold his concert ticket that is happening here in town and bought a ticket for May 15th to go with this girl.
My questions:
1) Could he REALLY be in love with this girl?
2) Is there any chance this girl is a rebound even if he was talking to her a week before breaking up with me?
3) Since she’s so far away and all they do is Skype, will he even get a chance to miss me? or even compare how her and I are?
We were together for 5 years. I cheated on him two years ago and he didn’t find out until last year. We got through it, we were better than we have ever been. Didn’t argue much, I wasn’t the jealous type. Hes still attracted to me and called me drop dead beautiful yesterday while we were texting.
At first when we broke up he said too much damage was done but yesterday when I spoke to him I asked him if this girl wasn’t in the way – would he of tried to work things out with me? he said yes.
Thank you so much for reading this and I am SO sorry it is so long. I just have so many thoughts in my head. I need to know. What do I do? I’m a mess.
Will the NCR even work? We had so many plans this holiday and he is suppose to meet up with my parents either way to exchange gifts with them.
Thank you for reading!
Es
December 24, 2013 at 8:41 pm
I tried commenting but didn’t get any feedback
ill post again
I met my ex 6 years ago and have loved him since day one. We were together 4 years, but the last year was not the greatest. We both started masters degrees and became busy, but it seemed he got really caught up in the university party life again. He was going out alot more, he did not bring me out or introduce to me his new school friends in-spite of my pleas, he did not spend as much time with me. I was getting the hints and would try to have open conversations about all the issues, and whether he wants some space because thats the vibe he was giving off. He would always respond with “no i’m fine don’t over think we’re fine” blah blah…anytime I tried ending things he would refuse to let that happen and said we would work it out. He still messaged me everyday and said he loved me everyday but I knew something was wrong.
Now hes going on an exchange program in Nice, France for 4 months. I became obsessive of the fact that I was not seeing him enough, would become angry, sensitive upset..this was not me! I began to lose myself, get depressed, even saw a therapist. I was pushing him further away with my needy-ness. I noticed he started talking to another girl(from his school)..which I asked him about and he replied with “no I barely talk to her”. 2 weeks ago I went to pick him up from a bar where he was out with his school friends (I finally met a few of them recently)…I went things were fine but he did not introduce me to this girl. He said he was going to the washroom and the girl followed him there. I started to panic, did not cause a scene..just went over and said “what is going on” they both ran into the boys washroom almost to run away from me. I went into the washroom, no one was answering my questions so I said I was leaving and didnt deserve this after 4 years. He didn’t follow me he was just a deer in headlights. Eventually he came out of the washroom and we went to talk…he told me I was right, he had a crush on this girl. My worst thoughts were coming true. He went on to tell me I’m perfect, the best he’s ever going to get, i’v never done anything wrong that its just him. “its not you its me” I’m the only girl hes ever been with he has no experiences outside of me and that scares him. I can understand that..i do not understand why another girl had to be involved. We had a very emotional conversation where things were left pretty ambigious..we said it was a break, kind of said we would re-evaluate when he’s back but this was not made clear. Is is more final because he is leaving, and he has told more people, has not removed it from his facebook and told his mom about it.
The kicker is….I found out he is talking to and trying to see this girl from the bar the week we broke up. This is what hurts the most. I hate that I am being replaced this fast. He told me nothing would happen with her because he’s leaving and that I don’t compare to her. All bullshit. It’s hurting because i’m thinking of how I treated him the last few months and how I was just pushing him closer to this girl. I was trying hard not to lose him but I did anyway. We have been in contact a few times to meet up to talk about it, and he’s kind of made small talk but I have said i’m busy and been pretty cold. I am not ready, But I love him so much I really don’t know what to do from here. Not talking to him normally has been torture but he really screwed up.
what do I do from here? I’m not ready to let go of him.
admin
December 26, 2013 at 5:38 pm
How long have you been in NC for?
Es
January 15, 2014 at 9:17 pm
2 weeks now, hes in Nice so I don’t think it’s having much of an affect
Es
January 24, 2014 at 2:06 am
it’s been almost a month now, he hasn’t tried making contact (again he’s living in Nice so his mind is probably else where) is there a point in making contact?
Melissa
December 22, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Could you please answer my question 🙁 I know you’re busy!
admin
December 22, 2013 at 8:05 pm
What is it?
Melissa
December 23, 2013 at 6:46 am
The one I asked right above the question you just answered! The long one :$
admin
December 23, 2013 at 8:19 pm
I can’t seem to find it :(.
UGH frustrating.
Melissa
December 22, 2013 at 8:08 pm
I posted on here yesterday but I don’t know if it got posted. So I’ll leave my story again hoping you see it and give some insight. I know you get a LOT of questions daily – and I thank you for even reading this one.
My ex broke up with a week ago. He was talking to someone a week before he broke up with me that he met online. He had a blog last year and posted his facebook link on it so people can add him. She added him and I know for a fact they didn’t speak until a week before he broke up with me. He posted about a concert he was going to and she was going to the same concert but in a different country.
She is 17 years old and lives 8 hours away. We are in Canada and she lives in the States. She is still in high school and does not drive. My boyfriend is 20, is in college and has his license of course. They now Skype everyday and even made their relationship “Facebook official” yesterday. She is already saying “I love you” assuming he also does to her too.
They started talking and then talking turned into flirting and a week later he broke up with me. He insisted it wasn’t because of her but throughout the week (YES I was a crazy girlfriend and texted him and called him constantly for the first 3 days of us breaking up) he kept dropping hints and changing his reason to breaking up with me. I begged him to think about things and then after not speaking to him for 3 days I sent him a 4 page letter explaining how sorry I was for everything and how much I loved him. His response was nice – he apologized and said he was already in love with this girl and that he wants to try it out with her and he had no hope for us in the future.
I called and we spoke about things and I told him (to make him jealous of course) that a friend of mine was coming to visit me (he hates this friend) to make me forget about him… we got into an argument about it and then he ignored what I said after and blocked my number.
A day later he texted me first thing in the morning and he was (FINALLY) being nice with me and explained me inviting this guy is a slap in the face and what not. We talked briefly throughout the day and I finally decided to hide all of his belongings and teddy bears and notes he gave me. When doing so, it caused me to have a panic attack so I called him crying and he told me he wouldn’t get off the phone with me until I stopped crying and told me to just hide them but not to throw them out unless I really really wanted too. (He didn’t throw the stuff I gave him out, he threw it under his bed)
I asked him if he ever missed me would he come back for me, when I asked him that last week he said no. It was over. But yesterday he said he promised he would and he basically said I haven’t even given him time to miss me.
His parents aren’t okay with the break up, neither are our friends. Christmas is coming soon and I have so many gifts to give him and he does too. At first he wanted to give them to me but now he doesn’t… He doesn’t want mine either.
I have no clue what to do. I know I need to do a NCR but would that even help? I’m worrying myself sick with the possibility of this not even being infatuation with this girl and he is really in love with her (though its only been 2 weeks) ..
He has plans to see her Feb 28th and then again May 15th. He sold his concert ticket that is happening here in town and bought a ticket for May 15th to go with this girl.
My questions:
1) Could he REALLY be in love with this girl?
2) Is there any chance this girl is a rebound even if he was talking to her a week before breaking up with me?
3) Since she’s so far away and all they do is Skype, will he even get a chance to miss me? or even compare how her and I are?
We were together for 5 years. I cheated on him two years ago and he didn’t find out until last year. We got through it, we were better than we have ever been. Didn’t argue much, I wasn’t the jealous type. Hes still attracted to me and called me drop dead beautiful yesterday while we were texting.
At first when we broke up he said too much damage was done but yesterday when I spoke to him I asked him if this girl wasn’t in the way – would he of tried to work things out with me? he said yes.
Thank you so much for reading this and I am SO sorry it is so long. I just have so many thoughts in my head. I need to know. What do I do? I’m a mess.
Will the NCR even work? We had so many plans this holiday and he is suppose to meet up with my parents either way to exchange gifts with them.
Thank you for reading!
admin
December 23, 2013 at 7:46 pm
I think it can work for sure. But that doesn’t mean the process will be easy.
Melissa
December 23, 2013 at 9:34 pm
He texted me today about Christmas and I replied like an idiot and we spoke and then I called him and begged him back again.
He is so angry with me and wants nothing to do with me.
He’s being SO on and off. What do I do now?
Do I just lose hope?
He basically said he doesn’t love me anymore and he wants to be with this girl.
But just on Friday he said he would come back if things with this girl didn’t work out.
admin
December 24, 2013 at 6:50 pm
No you should go back into NC!
Isabella
December 21, 2013 at 3:39 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me the other day, and I’m wondering how to go about the no contact rule. We have several classes together, we’re lab partners, and we’re in the same friend group. Also, my best friend is throwing a suprise party for her boyfriend (his best friend) in a week….at my ex’s house. Should I not go? I still want to have fun and hang out with my friends.
admin
December 22, 2013 at 2:29 am
You can go!
Kimberly
December 21, 2013 at 12:35 pm
First off, I wanted to say that you are practacly a genius because most of what you have said is the bad habits I do! So me and my fiancé have been together for 3 years. We met in the military and both recent retires. We live together and have 2 pets. He has cheated once in the past (obviously that should be he reason to move on..right?!) but I forgave him and we moved past it. About a week ago we got into a small argument which ended up turning into a breakup. The past few days I was being clingy texting him pretty much all the things you mentioned not to text him. Saying I couldn’t bare being without him and I’m begging for him back. We’ll just like your advice, it has pushed him away. I’ve tried sending him old photos of us hoping feelings would come back but he isn’t responding much to my calls or texts. I’m going out of state for the holidays but I’m afraid the no contacting will make him think I don’t care anymore. Mind you, he is the ‘it boy’ where we live. Very popular with the ladies and most (if not all) girls are attracted and want to be with him. I do love him and want to hopefully have another chance with him but afraid I’ve already pushed him to far. What should i do?!
admin
December 22, 2013 at 2:26 am
The “IT” boy huh.
Why don’t you do NC?
Jedda
December 21, 2013 at 6:33 am
Hi Chris,
Me and my ex have been together for 3 years and a month now. He broke up with me a little over a week ago. I sensed it coming because him & I have been through many break ups before & I know how he acts. The longest we have ever been broken up is 3 months. The longest we’ve ever had no contact has been about 12 days. We always had a serious relationship, we’ve broken up around 6 or 7 times before but only 3 have lasted long enough to get worried. When we break up it’s always for some long termed reason, like “nothing’s been working out I’m sick of it I need time alone blah blah.” Or there have been other break ups where he’s used a lie like “I don’t know If I feel the same about you I need time to think”
Things have always been on his demand or his terms. Even when we’ve been broken up it’s been for HIM. The longest break up we had, he made out with two other girls and also went to clubs and etc. He lied about this until I found out myself. He only admitted the making out thing when I asked him face to face. The rest I found out myself. I have had major trust issues since then. that was a year ago. Now that we broke up it’s because once again he needs his own time and space. He has family problems so he wants to focus on that. Also he said we fought too much and it was too much stress on him when I would act immature. He has stated over and over again that he’s not going to do anything behind my back. Also he has said he loves me 3 times since the break up. We haven’t talked much but I’ve seen him since the break up. He texted me first mostly than I’ve texted him. He even asked me if I still love him and I said yes. Aside from that, he’s asked what I’ve been up to. And besides those 2 things, the rest of our short convos have been boring. It’s as if he wants to go have fun and leave me in the sidelines until he wants to get back together. When we broke up, later that night he stated how he knows we’re meant to be and won’t be broken up forever. He always does this then I end up getting hurt from something. I’ve always been faithful to him even when we’ve been broken up. I’ve never dated anyone else even during break ups. I feel stuck and sad and lonely. He was also my best friend. I just need some advice as to how to handle this. I know the NC rule is something you wil suggest, but our relationship has always been somewhat different. He will maybe try a few times to talk to me but then he will think he looks desperate and he will stop, then he will do something horrible to get my attention, aka something including other girls or social networks or etc. he said he wants us to be mature towards each other which is what I have been doing. I want to know how to make him want ME. Last time the reason he came back to me was when he saw me talking to other guys and that I actually hung out with another guy. He was furious and raging but then really emotional and wanted me back. I don’t want to do that because it is immature and hurtful. I want to live normally knowing I can get him back without hopping on another guy. Any genuine advice would be helpful please 🙁 it’s a really tough time for me I’m upset everyday. I’ve read you’re entire page !
admin
December 22, 2013 at 2:13 am
Have you read this page: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/chase-theory-how-to-make-your-ex-boyfriend-chase-you-again/
Savannah
December 21, 2013 at 3:19 am
Hi Chris,
So my ex and I started dating last December and fell madly in love very quickly. He is very black and white and I am more of a grey person… He knows what he wants in life and his partner and so do I but I have been hurt so many times before that I think I wasn’t prepared well for this relationship. Anyways, he broke up with me in march and two weeks later we got back together and shortly after, in June, we moved in together. We were still in love but started fighting more because he wanted me to be more mature about things and do certain things for myself and for the relationship… He knew how I was as a person before we started dating. Needless to say, we went to couples therapy and a few days later I moved out with the mutual understanding that we’d still stay together. A day after I moved he broke up with me. I regretted my decision at that moment and had begged for him back every day.. He was occasionally responding but not all the time. A few months ago we slept together and I tried to play cool but then lost it and went back to nonstop contacting him and he stopped responding all together. I still want him back. We broke up 4 months ago and I have now not contacted him for 9 days… It’s agony. I miss him. What do you suggest and do you think there is a chance that he’ll come back?
admin
December 22, 2013 at 2:08 am
Well, I usually recommend NC..
Jane
December 20, 2013 at 10:04 pm
My boyfriend of 42 months just broke up with me a week ago. It wasn’t actually that clear to me because he didn’t answer me when I ask him if he still love me…he just simply say that he wants to be alone. I told him if that is want he wants then I will respect it and that whatever happens I am still here for him. We have a long distance relationship and I only see him once or twice a year. We have known each other since we were 12yrs old as we went to school together. When I moved to England after High School and only came back to my home country after about ten years, thats when we started going out. We had loads of good memories than bad ones. But then we got into a huge fight and we kinda brought up some past arguments that it get out of hand…we were both angry and said some hurtful things. He told me that I’m sarcastic, nagger and would often questions him with who and where he at when he goes out with friends that he sometimes said it suffocates him. He is the type of man who would want to explain things and to tell you stuff, so i didn’t realised that I was being difficult until it’s too late. I said sorry but he was so angry that all he said is that he wants to be alone. I am also emotional as he doesn’t want to talk and didn’t want to accept any sorry. This is the first time it happened and I feel guilty at some point. He also has his fault but I feel like I hurt him so much that he gets tired of it. I don’t know what to do as I love him so much… We have talked about marriage in the future and actually bought a house together, though he is the one paying it. Maybe all we need is time… I just hope to see him again…
Holiday girl
December 20, 2013 at 8:40 pm
Hi Chris
Would really appreciated your opinion on this
Have sent 5 atb texts over a month, got pretty good responses on 4 of them, no response to 1 but he did text the day after that about something on tv 2 do with the place I work.
2 of the texts I got responses to he even asked me a question one of which was 2 nights ago, so he wanted me to text back, yet when I send a follow up text I’m getting no reply’s.
Last text was Wednesday night.
Me(8:30): driving lesson tonight, actually took me past that pub with the lovely beer garden we went to, couldn’t help but smile, rembering the nice day we had :), hope your doing great.
Him(9:30): rrr nice, was a lush pub, how the lessons goin
Me:(10:30): was thinking of going there for food soon, going well thanks 🙂 tonight was an experience mind lol.
(had bad weather).
Any idea’s why he’s not responding to my follow up texts.
Thanks
Holiday girl
December 21, 2013 at 9:32 am
Oh sorry, I’m holiday girl not anonymous lol, thanks again for taking another look at my post regarding the texts I’ve sent.
aimes
December 20, 2013 at 12:56 pm
I got dumped after a year and 5 months !
Currently in the NC mode.
we broke up because of arguements and he said it wasnt the same anymore and he couldnt take the stress of his life and the arguements all together.
he had a rough childhood, I think this is what made him break up with me too.
he just cant take the pain.
I have him on BBM but if he does pop up do i just open the message and ignore it? or do i refrain from even opening the message?
ALSO what happens when the 30 day NC is done?
wont he ask me why i ignored him all those days?
how would i reply D:
this is the only thing confusing me…
please reply 🙁
thanks !
x
admin
December 21, 2013 at 3:48 am
I actually go into this on the guide on this page. You basically open the communication up after NC and use a variation of the texts I suggest.
Elena
December 19, 2013 at 6:24 pm
I met my ex 6 years ago and have loved him since day one. We were together 4 years, but the last year was not the greatest. We both started masters degrees and became busy, but it seemed he got really caught up in the university party life again. He was going out alot more, he did not bring me out or introduce to me his new school friends in-spite of my pleas, he did not spend as much time with me, he would pretty much scrape by with the bare minimum so he would not hurt my feelings. I was getting the hints and would try to have open conversations about all the issues, and whether he wants some space because thats the vibe he was giving off. He would always respond with “no i’m fine don’t over think we’re fine” blah blah…anytime I tried ending things he would refuse to let that happen and said we would work it out. He still messaged me everyday and said he loved me everyday but I knew something was wrong.
Now hes going on an exchange program in Nice, France for 4 months which is where things got rockier. I became very obsessive of the fact that I was not seeing him enough, would become angry, sensitive upset..this was not me! I began to lose myself, get depressed, even saw a therapist. I was pushing him further away with my needy-ness. I noticed he started talking to another girl(from his school)..which I asked him about and he replied with “no I barely talk to her”. 2 weeks ago I went to pick him up from a bar where he was out with his school friends (I finally met a few of them recently)…I went things were fine but he did not introduce me to this girl. He said he was going to the washroom and the girl followed him there. I started to panic, did not cause a scene..just went over and said “what is going on” they both ran into the boys washroom almost to run away from me. I went into the washroom, no one was answering my questions so I said I was leaving and didnt deserve this after 4 years. He didn’t follow me he was just a deer in headlights. Eventually he came out of the washroom and we went to talk…he told me I was right, he had a crush on this girl. My worst thoughts were coming true. He went on to tell me I’m perfect, the best he’s ever going to get, i’v never done anything wrong that its just him. “its not you its me” I’m the only girl hes ever been with he has no experiences outside of me and that scares him. I can understand that..i do not understand why another girl had to be involved. We had a very emotional conversation where things were left pretty ambigious..we said it was a break, kind of said we would re-evaluate when he’s back but this was not made clear. Is is more final because he is leaving, and he has told more people, has not removed it from his facebook and told his mom about it. His mom contacted me and we chatted about it all and she knows hes being immature and just wants experiences but may not find them.
The kicker is….I found out he is talking to and trying to see this girl from the bar the week we broke up. This is what hurts the most. I hate that I am being replaced this fast. He told me nothing would happen with her because he’s leaving and that I don’t compare to her. All bullshit. It’s hurting because i’m thinking of how I treated him the last few months and how I was just pushing him closer to this girl. I was trying hard not to lose him but I did anyway. We have been in contact a few times to meet up to talk about it, and he’s kind of made small talk but I have said i’m busy and been pretty cold. I am not ready to talk to him i’m too hurt. But I love him so much I really don’t know what to do from here. Not talking to him normally has been torture but he really screwed up.
what do I do from here? I’m not ready to let go of him.
JJ
December 19, 2013 at 12:49 pm
My situation differs slightly and im not sure what i have read so far will still apply.
Me and my bf broke up a about 6 months ago but we were still in touch till recently, when there was a misunderstanding and he told me he didnt want to talk to me. since then neither of us have spoken to each other and its been over a month.
The other day i went to a bar that reminded me of him so i was going to text him about it as a way to start talking to him but i dont know if this is a good idea.
Would the same rules for contact after the no contact rule still apply even if we were not speaking terms the last time we spoke.
p.s he currently has a new gf too and might have moved on already.
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:45 pm
I think they would and you might benefit from leading my most recent guide.
LF
December 19, 2013 at 10:59 am
Also, can it take a few tries at these texting conversations before he starts to initiate conversations?
LF
December 19, 2013 at 10:40 am
My ex responds positively to initial messages, but it seems to be out of politeness as he doesn’t ask any reciprocal questions. I’m told he might just be being cautious. Given his personality, I believe this could be true. What do you think?
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Cautious definitely seems like what is happening here.
LF
December 20, 2013 at 7:04 am
Will it just take some time to get him to open up again?
admin
December 21, 2013 at 3:36 am
Yup, this is not going to be a fast process.
Amanda
December 19, 2013 at 6:05 am
Hi Chris,
I’m on day 21 of No Contact, and I’m starting to worry my ex-boyfriend will not be the one to initiate contact. So naturally, I’m trying to plan what I will say in the First Contact Text (after 30 days, of course). I get that I am trying to sound confident and care-free, but I worry that if I say something so casual as, “I just went to a really great restaurant that made me think of you” it will sound unnatural. I know I’m not supposed to mention the break up at all, but I’ve read elsewhere that it’s good to start out with something like, “I just wanted to let you know that I think the break up was a good idea and definitely for the best. It would be a shame to throw away our friendship though”. What do you think about this approach? I think this seems like a good approach, except that I don’t want to end up in friendship zone….
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:34 pm
I like your approach!
Hailey
December 19, 2013 at 2:39 am
Hi Chris, I broke up with my boyfriend 3 days a for different reason, but now I would like to get back together with him. I have started the no contact thing do you think I have a chance?
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Sure I do.
Hailey
December 20, 2013 at 4:01 am
Ok thank you.
Kim
December 19, 2013 at 1:54 am
Can I just say I appreciate the Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference in your article. Xander is one of my favorites. Not interested in getting back with an ex, but stumbled on your article. Very impressive. =)
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:19 pm
Good ole Xander!
Spike is my favorite 🙂
Bobbie
December 18, 2013 at 4:41 pm
If I read this page a few months ago….
I did all Big No Nos
My ex texted me a month ago when I was overseas n trying to forget him.
He missed me but he is mad at me but still miss me.
But I overtexted to reconcile the relationship and now no more progress.
He is in difficult situation of work and life. Maybe considerimg to relocate to other country.
How can I support and encourage him with protecting his ego.
Cc
December 18, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Hi Chris is this a negative response:
Yesterday I text him the first text after NC
Me: hi I just found something you gave me one day, honestly it made me smile.
He didnt reply and sometime later I texted him:
“his name” I want to apologize to you because how I acted irrationally, I didnt mean to be like this, if I could take it back I would, im really sorry.
And this morning I got this msj from him:
Hey I am not angry at you. Everything is ok. You go your way I will go mine
That means there is no hope for me? It this a negative response?
Cc
December 19, 2013 at 6:09 pm
I wanted to reply something like: «yes, I’m going my way, I’m glad you are not mad at me, it relives me, because I really appreciate you as a person. » or maybe I should not text anything and do nc for one month again? (after all I was the one who broke up with him first, and he accepted)
I just want to be the one I was before I fall in love with him, for two years he was chasing me, and I always rejected him, AND I never cared about if he was coming back to me, but the moment I fall in love everything changed, what could I do in order to dont care about it, like beforee when I didn’t like him…