The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Amanda

January 3, 2014 at 8:01 am

Hi Chris,

I have dated my boyfriend for the last 10 years and our relationship is in a limbo state now. He told me that his feelings for me have faded over the years and he is unsure if it was love, commitment or responsibilities that have motivated him to make me happy during the last 3-4 years while he feels unhappy.

He requested for a cooling period of 2 months as he wanted time to think through. At the same time, he wanted me to move on and if possible, date others as he do not wish to take up more of my time.

I tried to established the NC rule but whenever he sends his greetings during Xmas and New year, I would inevitably replied him and this lead to 2 rounds of conversations for me to keep asking the “whys”. During each conversation, I would keep telling him that I will not date others even though he tried to push me to move on. I have also told him that I will give him as much space and time to think but he just pushes me to move on as he does not want to waste my time anymore. He stated that we will continue to be friends even if we cannot be a couple at the end of the cooling period. And after he straightens his thoughts and realised that he still loves me, he will woo me back.

But the thing is, I do not want the relationship to end just like this especially after 10 years.

Do you think that we would still have a chance to get back together after the cooling period? If he sends me any greeting messages again within the next one month, can I just wish him back? I am trying hard to control myself from texting him already.

Do advise and thank you!

Amanda

Amanda

January 3, 2014 at 8:06 am

Forgot to mention, its not just the time we spend together that makes me want hold back the relationship. I also felt happy throughout the last 10 years whenever I am with him. I still yearn to meet him every time I have the chance.

Is it really because of commitment/ responsibility or even in the case of guilt that motivated him to treat me well over the last 3-4 years? Besides that, I really did not see this cooling period coming as I could still feel his affection for me.

Do you think is easy for a guy to just give up on this relationship which is also our first love?

Thank you!

Amanda

Rachel

January 3, 2014 at 7:53 am

I feel like I should clarify some points, we broke up as he said he just didn’t feel the same but then was dating someone he claimed to have had feelings for for years within a week. They didn’t last long and after they broke up was when he contacted me. He then moved back interstate as being in SA wasn’t good for him and he wanted to be with his family. I have stupidly over the last year of our breakup gotten mad and said things that didn’t need to be said and kept trying to make him talk about why we broke up… Now upon hearing he’s had a girlfriend for a few months but didn’t tell anybody makes me wonder why he didn’t say anything when he was insistent he wanted to be friends with me and it makes me wonder if there’s any chance of reconciliation in the future?
Rachel

January 3, 2014 at 7:37 am

Hey Chris,
My boyfriend and I broke up December 2012 and it wasn’t totally amaciable… After attempting to get him to talk to me and explain I gave up and we didn’t talk for a while. Then four months after breaking up he started talking to me again and foolishly we hooked up a few times. Then he moved interstate as he needed a change and we talked a little but not much. Now I have found out he has a new girlfriend so my question is should I give up on reconciliation?
becky

January 3, 2014 at 6:47 am

Hi,

My ex and I live in different countries. We broke up over a misunderstanding. I acted like a complete fool. I was desperate and made a fool of myself because I wanted him to know his assumptions were wrong. Shortly after he cut off all communication and blocked me on all social media. So I haven’t been able to make him jealous with posting pictures or anything..

I’ve done NC now and I have not heard from him. The only way I can contact him is through a letter, email, or voicemail on his phone. I’m not sure if he even uses that email address anymore. You suggest sending a text after NC, but that’s not an option for me.

What should I do?

One final question, I’m going to be going to his home country soon for a short time. If I contact him, do I let him know this or should I let him find out when our mutual friends post pics of us together?

Thanks so much for the advice!
Sarah

January 2, 2014 at 10:55 pm

If he doesnt reply do you continue with the first contact messages until he does finally respond. And how long should you wait until you text again if he didnt respond to your 1st contact message and the one after? Is a month too long? ( 30 days of no contact had been successfully done /i worked on myself during this time and lots have notices this change, / and then another 15 days cause he didnt respond after the nc message.

admin

January 3, 2014 at 7:50 pm

One week!
Sarah

January 5, 2014 at 6:50 pm

Thanks I ll try and see how it goes. I am just worried he might think I am annoying or something xD
Sarah

January 5, 2014 at 7:00 pm

Sorry for bothering you and if I do that and he still doesnt reply. Another week or longer break?

Ashlyn

January 2, 2014 at 9:06 pm

Hey Chris,

My boyfriend just broke up with me after five months. I really miss him. Its been eleven days and my first real day of no contact. I texted him a few times and he was pretty upset that I didn’t want to be friends which is why we aren’t talking. When he broke up with me he said he just wanted to be single and that I did nothing wrong and that we should be friends. I told him I couldn’t and then he said fine we are nothing and shouldn’t talk for a while. But then he said that he has he had feelings for someone else when I started asking for questions. Do you really think he is in rebound relationship? Also I texted him a few times which sucks cause I couold’ve been 12 days in with no contact. It was hard though, my great grandma just passed away and I lost my boyfriend. I decided to send him a text saying: I’m ok with his decision to break up and that I saw it coming for awhile. I am sorry for how I continued to text and call you during the holidays and that I hurt you and was disrespectful. I have something exciting to tell you about. But I think right now you and I both need space. Is that ok? and do you think that he still wants to talk to me with what he said when we broke up? Do you also think he is really in rebound relationship? I did read your guide but what he said hurt. I still miss him though. Our relationship was a lot of fun and we got along really well.

admin

January 3, 2014 at 7:49 pm

Have you read my guide on rebound relationships?
Ashlyn

January 3, 2014 at 10:14 pm

Yes I did and it helped a lot. Just sucks cause I miss him and hurts that he is with someone else even though I have been on two dates already. Do you think it is possible to still get him back. I feel like the only reason he told me is because I didn’t want to be his “friend”. I hope things can work out. I’ve started no contact but do you think there is a possibility that things will still work out?
Ashlyn

January 3, 2014 at 10:15 pm

Also after reading all of your no contact stuff its been really hard. I messed up off an on contacting him. But now I know not to. I just want him back and hope I didn’t mess things up. Our relationship and what we had is a really good one. We got a long so well and had a lot of fun.
Ashlyn

January 3, 2014 at 10:17 pm

One last question even if he is in a rebound relationship does it mean he will forget about me completely while I go no contact? that is what makes all of this so hard. Thanks for getting back to me 🙂

Shambi

January 2, 2014 at 8:04 pm

Hi chris
Ive been in no contact for 9 days and he texted me saying he wanted to talk about stuff and meet up. We met today cos he had to go to hospital for surgery and are supposed to go out tomorrow night but he’s just texted me saying just cos we’ve talked on the phone and hes coming to give me my stuff back, doesnt mean he wants to get back together and hes just meeting me to try and be nice…
back to NC after the stuff gets given back? I feel like ive been broken up with twice in 2 weeks 🙁

admin

January 3, 2014 at 7:44 pm

This is a normal thing for breakups. I know it is tough now but stick with it for now.

Ashley

January 2, 2014 at 7:14 pm

Hi Chris,

Thank you so much for this website! It has been very helpful for me.

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me on December 30th because he is clinically depressed and feels he needs time to work on himself. I could tell that something was wrong the last few months but whenever I questioned him about it he denied anything was happening. Our communication really suffered. Two days before the break up he came to my family’s house for the holidays and finally told me about his depression and that he has been seeing a psychiatrist the last 2 months and is now on medication to try to help him. I was really supportive and said that I would do anything he needed to help him feel better. However, when he broke up with me two days later is was a shock. He said I was selfish and did not make him a priority. This has been true for the last few months since I just started my first year of law school which is academically intense and demanding and my family has being going through an exceptionally hard time because my sister was diagnosed with a serious mental illness and is a drug abuser. Unfortunately, I was very stressed out and did not give him the attention or care he deserved because I was preoccupied with school and my family.

He says he still loves me and I love him too but he feels like I am too selfish and we have different values. I agree that I have been selfish the past few months given my situation but I don’t think we have different values. We both always talked about our future together. I admit that I have been in a negative rut lately but I am working hard to turn this around now that my family and I have been working through our problems.

I have implemented NC and think it is a good opportunity for both of us to work on ourselves and become the best we can both be. However, I just realized that the 30 days will not be over before his birthday. Should I text him happy birthday or not? Also, he has been using the parking space I bought him at my apartment’s garage once a week for work. I was planning on allowing him to still use it because it is free and safer for him, but this would require interacting with him once a week starting 10 days before the 30 days are finished.

What is your advice on the parking spot and his birthday?

Also, what do you think our chances of getting back together are?

Thank you so much for all your help!

admin

January 3, 2014 at 7:43 pm

Well, I think he can still use it but if you are paying to have him use it still… well, then that needs to change.

Katie

January 2, 2014 at 8:46 am

Hi Chris,
My ex broke up with me in November and I made the mistake of calling and texting him that day we broke up and the day after. I feel so stupid for doing that. We did not talk for almost two weeks after. I came up with this idea of hanging out like once a week to see if that spark would come back. He finally agreed. He started to feel it again, but he is not sure if that is what he wants. I wrote a letter and he wanted to read it. I thought he was spending time with me because he felt bad. He said he was doing it for himself, because of all the good times we have had, maybe it could work. The problem is that he says its easier when he is with me than when he is not. Ugh sometimes I get emotional in front of him. I am not sure if I handled the situation right. I mean do I still have a chance? What should I do?

admin

January 2, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Hey it is ok!

ARe you going to do the NC for the full month?

Bianca

January 2, 2014 at 7:44 am

I am new to this website. My ex boyfriend and I dated for 3 months. I must say it was the best time, he and I enjoyed great things together. We both had a good relationship with our family. I love his 5yr old daughter. We did took things too fast, after the first week I started spending the night at his house, every night. we played the man and wife “thing.” 3 weeks ago his mom had a heart attack and we decided for me to go back to my apartment to give his mom time to recover. He admitted that since then his feelings were “fading” he felt that I was falling deeply in love with him and was scared to hurt me because he “didn’t feel the same” “it wasn’t there” he never say I love you. At that time I felt like I was losing him and became needy, insecure and clingy. I guess I pushed him away. On Christmas Eve he broke up with me and wanting to be friends. We didn’t talk to each other after New Years when we greeted each other. He said “happy New Years him, it was amazing while it lasted” he told me today that he was kinda seeing someone. I did begged and ask for a second chance but he didn’t want to. I was so debated for him to give up easily. Do you think I can still have my ex back? was help.

admin

January 2, 2014 at 6:36 pm

Welcome!

I hope you are getting something from this site.

I think there is still a chance sure!
Bianca

January 3, 2014 at 5:49 pm

I just started the NC with my ex for couple if days now. He is to drop off my stuff in my apartment, if he calls or text that he is going to drop it off, should I response? and if he didn’t, should I send him a “thank you” text?
Bianca

January 2, 2014 at 7:37 pm

I am scared. I feel no hope at all. I hope the no contact phase will help me heal and hopefully we are able to rekindle and bring back our relationship.

Emily

December 31, 2013 at 6:13 pm

Hi I was with my ex 8 months he moved over 4 months into our relationship before he moved we ha the best relationship skype dates always him going getting grape crush it was our thing upon moving in with me we started arguing over little things we both new it wasn’t the same but indeed love eachother we both got each other’s name tattood we ended up having a argument and he told me we were done he was never coming back but while waiting for his ride he hugged and kissed me said he loved me and promised he would be back got home and hasn’t texted or called in 5 days I sent him messages everyday and he ended up deleting me off facebook not replying is there any hope for him coming back he said he loved me and we were talking about marriage and having a. Child he jut didn’t think I loved him a my has he loved me and I’d lie over little things and tell about stupid stuff and now I miss everything that annoyed me when he was here he thinks I’ll have a new boyfriend in a week but I can’t move on I am in love with him any ideas or suggestions ? He lives a hour away and missed his friends an family his old life he said it felt good to be him again cuz here was boring and had no family or friends close . Please help I miss him dearly
jolie

December 31, 2013 at 4:29 am

Hi Chris, my boyfriend proposed me 2 years back. He knew everything about my past relation and he knew that I was involved with him physically. I told him how my ex used to disrespect me and abuse me. He showered with the best love and care. everything was do good but gradually things started changing. he has started disrespecting me and even slapped quite a no of times in public areas and in front of his mother too. My mistake was in between he used to ignore me and so I called up his frnd and talked abt his behavior and whn he came to know dis he has beaten me up. My problem is that I lost all ky self respect , dignity and pride. but I love him truly. Whn I do NC for two days he comes to my home and say sorry. But agn he starts ignoring me. Plz tell me wht should I do coz he knows that I am a slave to him . I am better than him everywhere in job, status and appearance but still he takes me for granted. he nvr want me to check Internet. what should I do ? coz he can’t leave me nor he loves me the way before. Plz help.
Plz answer to my query .
Thanks

admin

January 1, 2014 at 10:31 pm

So, your problem is that if you do NC he comes to your house?

Cassandra

December 29, 2013 at 10:33 pm

Hi I was wondering if its too late to get my ex boyfriend back, my situation is very complicated and I don’t know if anyone can help me but I thought hey I got nothin to lose. My ex broke up with me on November 8th 2013, I am 32 weeks pregnant now… Our baby is going up for adoption, he cares about the baby and wants to be there at the already passed ultrasounds but I don’t know weather or not if he moved on with someone new cause that is going to determine weather or not I’m letting him see her at all when she’s born. I want him so badly to be with me and help me go through this but the reason he said he doesn’t want me was because I was a bitch all the time (cause he didn’t have a job and at first we were gonna keep her so that’s why I nagged) and I recently seen him 2 weeks or 3 weeks ago to give him ultrasound pictures and I was positive and said sorry things didn’t work out with us and I was bein bubbly dressed nice dyed and cut my hair and he was making me laugh and gave me a hug goodbye, helped me buy hot chocolate and offered to walk me to the bus stop….I didn’t hug him back, I refused his walk to the bus stop and told him not to help me get the drink but he ended up doin it anyways. And then he said the reason (another reason) he left me was cause it wasn’t a healthy relationship, we’ve been together for almost 2 years, our anniversary was coming up in February. I ask him after we seen each other if he wanted to hang out sometime he said yea sure, he was running out of minutes and said he will talk to me later, then later on that same night my dumb a** texted him asking if he still missed me, he said we will talk about it another time. And a week ago I got papers from my lawer that him and I could fill out so our daughter can read about our backgrounds and stuff and I told him about it but when I called him he sounded like he wanted nothing to do with me and then I was like “you know what I’ll just fill out your papers” (which I can if I want to its my choice) he said “I will fill out my own fuckin stuff”. So I got mad and texted him he doesn’t deserve my niceness and that I will ask him the questions over the phone and I will see him sometime in February when she’s due and that I didn’t want to see him (which was a lie cause I love him) and he said “fine” his minutes don’t turn on unroll the 31 of December and then my birthday is January 1st. I don’t know what to do I want him to come running back to me. Do I ignore him now or is it too late? What do I need to do I’m scared and frustrated and I either want to yell at him for leavin me pregnant or be nice to keep him in my life….please help me.

Martine

January 3, 2014 at 3:26 am

Hi chris!
I need advice and help!
Me and my ex broke up about a year ago. We had just bought a house, we were engaged, had planned out life together. We broke up over constant little arguments and stubbornness and i guess it got out of control. I have to say it was a pretty bad break up.
A few months after i got my rebound it wasnt anything serious, the guy treated me like crap but i guess i went for bad boy and thats what i got. I got pregnant right away with the rebound, and of course he wants nothing to do with the baby. Im now 6 months pregnant and have been thinking about my ex fiance for the past 5 months. He knows i am pregnant and is happy for me but doesnt want to talk or remain friends. Ive only seen him once since our breakup and that was just to sign papers at the lawyers office. I try every now and there to send him a message on facebook but he still doesnt want anything to do with me not even talk..
I never got a closure from this breakup and it happened so fast.. I would do anything to get him back of only there was hope
admin

December 30, 2013 at 8:22 pm

I think you can ignore him with NC.
Cassandra

December 31, 2013 at 2:15 am

Do you think he still cares though? Would it even bother him?
admin

January 1, 2014 at 10:51 pm

I think he does.
Cassandra

January 5, 2014 at 2:38 am

Found out he replaced me… He’s been with her 2 days after he left me…. Don’t know what to do he left me for her last year for like a couple days. Help me someone, I’m hurting so bad.

jolie

December 29, 2013 at 2:55 pm

Hi Chris, my boyfriend proposed me 2 years back. He knew everything about my past relation and he knew that I was involved with him physically. I told him how my ex used to disrespect me and abuse me. He showered with the best love and care. everything was do good but gradually things started changing. he has started disrespecting me and even slapped quite a no of times in public areas and in front of his mother too. My mistake was in between he used to ignore me and so I called up his frnd and talked abt his behavior and whn he came to know dis he has beaten me up. My problem is that I lost all ky self respect , dignity and pride. but I love him truly. Whn I do NC for two days he comes to my home and say sorry. But agn he starts ignoring me. Plz tell me wht should I do coz he knows that I am a slave to him . I am better than him everywhere in job, status and appearance but still he takes me for granted. he nvr want me to check Internet. what should I do ? coz he can’t leave me nor he loves me the way before. Plz help
Thanks

Dominik

December 31, 2013 at 4:42 am

Hi jolie,

There are so many times in my life that I am amazed how strong and wonderful people can be. Maybe you can help me with one thing, that is figuring out how someone like you who has experienced what you have is coping with your live and you still try to get what is good for you.

I tell you one thing though jodie, and you have to take into account that I don’t know you, so you have to be lenient if what I am going to say does not make any sense for your wellbeing at all.

Sometimes we (us humans 🙂 ) prefer to be in bad situations than trying something new. Because subconsciously that is what makes us feel safe. We have evolved such behaviour because it does work in quite a lot of situations. However there are moments where we who are in control of ourselves have to take over when this isn’t leading us into chosing the best options that are available to us.

I have to be frank you can do and deserve better then being with a person that is abusing you.

I don’t know where you are from but chances are that there are professionals (like counselors) where you live that can help you – should you choose to decide that this is the point to change some of your patterns in your live towards being the happy loving and loveable self that you can be and you discover that that’s who you are.

Always be proud of who you are – you truly have every right to be pround of yourself.

sophie

December 28, 2013 at 9:55 pm

Hi Chris,
Im so glad I stumbled across your page!
I want to tell you my story real quick…
So im 17 me and my exboyfriend have been in a relationship for almost 2 years until he broke up with me 2 months ago.
It was a wonderful and intimate relationship we were crazy for each other and have a lot good memories of the time together. The break up was a good one to, there was no shouting or yelling. He just held me for hours telling me i would be fine without him. Then just a few days later i found out that he already has a new girlfriend which by the way was one of my closest friends. I’m in NC right now and its going pretty well the only problem is that i have to see him in school everyday which makes NC kind of hard. How am i supposed to react if he starts asking me in person why i’m ignoring him ?
I think that his new girlfriend is just a rebound so they should break up in about a month or so…
I just wanted to know if you think my chances of winning my ex back are good or bad and how can i help to speed a long the process of them breaking up?
whatever happens i wont give up, because one day i’ll look back and be glad i didn’t!

admin

December 29, 2013 at 6:42 pm

I am glad you stumbled across it too!

Your chances are pretty decent. And I would read this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-if-he-has-a-girlfriend-version-2-0/

Lucy

December 28, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Hi Chris,

Firstly, thank you. So glad I came upon this site and I have purchased your ebook which is really helping me to focus at the moment.

I “broke up” with my boyfriend 5 days ago. I put it in inverted commas as he wouldn’t actually say it was over just that he was rubbish at relationships and had trust issues. I made the usual mistakes…text & called a couple of times. Then sent him a message saying i’d had a great time but he clearly didn’t know what he wanted and to leave me be unless anything changed. In hindsight this wasn’t the best plan but it’s done now. Ihaven’t contacted him since (2 days) and don’t plan to for the time being. While in my emotional state I also unfriended him which I regret now too.

He hasn’t been in touch so far and I have noticed that he’s been active in the dating site we met on. Now we were only together for about 6 weeks, but he has really got under my skin more than than many of my long term relationships. I felt like we had a really good connection, no arguments or no bad memories, I don’t know if it’s just the cliche “He’s just that into you”? My question, finally! Is have there been any successful outcomes from people in similar situations to myself?

Thanks for reading x
Jen

December 28, 2013 at 2:30 pm

So my boyfriend of 5 years asked for a break on november 30th. I haven’t heard from him since. He said he felt like i was even attracted to him that he felt like i didn’t even want him in my life. I will admit i was pushing him away due to my own insecurities. I made the mistake and sent him a letter through Facebook stating my feelings and what my insecurities were. I didn’t write back. I waited a week and texted him i loved him and missed him and he didn’t write back. Then 12/20 was my last text to him I just stated that i missed him. I have now implemented the nc rule but I’m just wondering if its too late… He has not blocked me on Facebook or anything. all his family is still in contact with me. His mom texted me on christmas. But he didn’t which i thought i would at least hear from him them. He did tell me he needed time so I’m trying to respect him. Im just scared that i waited to long to implement the no contact rule. I hope i didn’t sabotage this. I love him very much and miss him dearly and in the end I have realized how much i do want him in my life. There is no other girl. Ive been going to the gym and working out and trying to keep busy, Thanks for the guide. Any suggestions?
Susanne

December 28, 2013 at 11:00 am

Hi Chris me and my boyfriend broke up last year after he broke up with me. The problem is we talk now over text just as friends from time to time,he says he doesn’t want anything more because he doesn’t want to see me upset again which i suppose is nice, but it is always me making contact with him. He says he just wants to be friends, but wont meet up with me because hes scared if he does he will get feelings from me again. Because we are already speaking and he believes that everything is fine that we are friends how do i initiate the NC ?? rule ?? I feel if i just ignore him for 30 days he wont be bothered as we only text on and off anyways, so he wont even realise im ignoring him. Any advice would be great.
Thanks
alisa

December 28, 2013 at 7:35 am

My ex and I were together for 2 and a half years, throughout the relationship he was the sweetest guy I’ve ever been with and he has such a huge heart. He ended up moving in with my family and I for what was supposed to be 2 months turned into a year. He and I were looking into moving out on our own together and we found a house but I ended up getting in some legal trouble and lost my job, which then made me unable to move out with him and one of his friends took my place. We spent the last month together fighting (mostly because of my insecurities of living separately) and I lost my motivation to get my life back on track so a few days after he moved out he broke up with me. It was completely shocking and seemed to come out of nowhere because 5 minutes before dumping me he was going on about how much he loved me. Anyway, 3 months have gone by, I slept with a guy I wasn’t serious about and my ex got a new girlfriend. I got a text from him wanting to meet up to exchange the rest of our stuff, and when he showed up he ended up sitting on my porch with me for over an hour talking, telling me he missed me and how much of a bitch his new gf was. A week went by and he ended up breaking up with her and now he and I are in the process of trying to mend things, the thing is, I’m moving out of state for 6 months and he says he’s willing to wait for me to get back. He is wanting to see me before I leave, so I guess what I’m trying to get at is I could use advice for how to act during this meet up, and how to determine if he’s serious about it. I guess the term would be, how do I keep the “upper hand” on everything so that it strengthens the chances of things going smoothly and makes him actually know for a fact he wants me back?
Kayla

December 28, 2013 at 5:52 am

Hi Chris,
My ex- broke up with me back in October. I was and kinda still am extremely crushed over it. We had such a great connection, really bonded and had so much in common. It came out of no where and he used the “it’s not you it’s me” type of reasoning for ending things, over text message.
We’ve ran into each other a couple times at mutual friends events. We haven’t been in contact and it’s been 30 days since our last run in.
I tried the first contact, and got no reply.
What could be his reasoning for not replying? Is there any hope? I’m really hesitant of trying again in a week or so because I’m afraid I will appear clingy. We have quiet a few mutual friends so I don’t want there to be any bad blood, or rumors between us.
Any other advise would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for all your help!

« Previous 1 … 103 104 105 106 107 … 149 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”