How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Silk

October 17, 2015 at 6:16 pm

guess it’s too late for me if its been 4+ years huh?

Chris Seiter

October 18, 2015 at 4:32 pm

No not necessarily, is he married now? That would be the only stipulation. If he’s married then he has definitely moved on.

Fiorella

October 8, 2015 at 6:09 am

My husband been together 8 yrs and have been separated for 1 yr well he begged that we go back but I refused well when I found out he had a girl I notice how much that hurt and that I love him not bc of the girl bc before her I already had started to think to go back. Well now he has someone only been talking for 3 weeks I want a chance I know he still loves me he is hurt but don’t want to try again I read all the articles how to get him back if u have any extra info I can use and anything to help me get him back I would appreciate. I love him and willing to get back and keep it that way forever.

Chris Seiter

October 11, 2015 at 7:18 am

Hi, you could actually check out my new site, My Marriage Helper.

Daniela

October 8, 2015 at 2:10 am

Hello Chris

I’lol try to keep this short, so my ex and I officially broke up about 2 months ago. We broke up 6 months prior to that and decided to stay friends it was a bad I idea I know that now but well we weren’t exactly friends since we kept spending time with each other’s family and couldn’t stay away from each other. Anyways a month after the breakup he started seeing this girl I didn’t know about. I found out about this 2 weeks ago but before that I decided to tell him, that I still had feelings for him and wanted us to give it another shot because I was in love. He said he liked me still and lot but he felt like we shouldn’t be together romantically in any way. But that he wanted us to be friends since he cared about me.I just said I wanted to be part of his life as his girlfriend so I didn’t think being friends was a good idea. We haven’t talked for almost 3 weeks now. I don’t know if I have a chance with him, I love him a lot and I want him to be happy but it hurts to see him with someone else. Help me please

Thank you.
Btw I love your tips and I enjoy reading you.

shena

November 15, 2015 at 5:23 pm

I’m going threw the same thing u are right now..

Tammie

October 4, 2015 at 5:23 am

I was seeing a guy and we just clicked. He did have intimacy issues but even though he did I would reassure him that it wasn’t an issue with me he still felt as if he did not please me. The relationship was great but he drifted away. I always said that I were to get married again it would be to him or a man very much like him. Several years had past and this need to contact him was very overwhelming. I googled and searched and finally found a post office box. My best friend told me to write the letter that it may just be my need for closure so I could move on with the new guy I had been dating. Oddly enough he did remind me of my ex. So I wrote the letter. Weeks had past and I did not hear back but I also never received the letter back. It was week 3 and on a Sunday afternoon I got a text message from him. He did tell me he was seeing someone but the relationship was not working out. He asked me if we could get together when he was in town but I told him that since he was in a relationship that would not be possible. It’s girl code. I’ve been cheated on and I don’t want to be that woman. I told him that he could of just called and my phone quickly rang with him on the other side. We talked about so many things and he told me that I always crossed his mind and he wished I was there. I feel so guilty. He said his new relationship was not going to last and that he wanted to see me in the near future. I told him he needed to follow his heart and if he wanted it to work with her then he should try and make it work. He kept reiterating that his current relationship was going to be ending. I really don’t know what to do or whether or not to even pursue it although my heart is telling me different.
S.R

October 2, 2015 at 3:43 pm

Hello Chris,

I was in a relationship for over 9 years. We have had problems and or issues within the relationship but we always managed to get through things and would be back on track.

Before the 28th August, he was quite strange as in he locked his phone and was very secretive about who he was messaging. He had lots of women on there which from recent months but would always tell me they are from networking at work.

he became a little distant with me but at the same time we were still intimate and would spend time together and doing things together etc.

the 28th August was the last time i saw him and he was very distant that day with me on the 29th August he texted me and told me it was over, we then briefly had a chat on the phone and then we decided to have a 6 week break from each other.

after like 2 weeks of the break my dad was taken to hospital with a major operation and so i messaged him to tell him that my dad was very poorly. we spoke briefly on text and that was it. a week later he then messaged me and asked me how i was doing said he just wanted to make sure i was ok.

after that we had no contact on the 3rd week i saw him on the saturday for an hour a half and then again we continued to have a break. a week on from that he messaged me last weekend on sunday and told me on text that he doesnt want to be with me anymore. at the same time he told me that he didnt want me to call or text him anymore and if i did he would involve the solicitors! he was very aggressive and had so much hate towards me on over text. he has never hated me like this before.

prior to this happening i found out that whilst we were on this break that he has been talking to some women and that during our break he was seeing her and even had her over at his place.

i am really confused as to how he can change from 3 weeks ago telling me there is no one else an we are having a break. he told me he was missing me and thinking of me all the time. he told me he saw photos of me and got teary and emotional over me.

i was even told that he had told someone that if this “girl” was to say ok lets just leave it he would like “yeah i was not really that into anyway”

i am just so confused as to how he has become so aggressive and cold and actually seems to hate me! within the past week

do you have any words of wisdom please?

thank you

(sorry i posted in wrong place earlier

Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 4:03 pm

I think he clearly lied to you about there not being anyone else.

Nan

October 2, 2015 at 3:06 am

Hey Chris! I was curious, if an ex tells you that you are not “the one” and does not see you in his future when things seems to be going well accordingly to you. Would the possibility of getting him/her back be low using these techniques?
Model

September 30, 2015 at 3:39 pm

What do if you live with your boyfriend but you want to work things out with him and get things back to the way that they were but you know he’s secretly seeing another girl and you want him to get away from her
This can doing anything on this page help me

Chris Seiter

October 1, 2015 at 5:50 pm

Does he bring the other girl to your shared home?

Caleb

September 29, 2015 at 6:34 am

I really need help, me and my girlfriend broke up 9 months ago, two weeks after the break up I had sex with another girl as a rebound, it made me feel shit and it lost all trust in my ex, we stopped talking for a month then I really missed her and started talking to her again, we was on the verge of getting back together then she saw a message from another girl, we tried to keep things going, but two weeks ago she said that we was going round in circles and that we should end things, later I then found out she had been talking to another boy, and that she was meeting him at a party, as soon as I found out I lost it and her went fully creepy ex mode on her, begging for her to take me back, but all she says is that we will never be together again because she could never trust me, what do I do? I’m scared if I do the no contact rule she’s just going to move on further, but if I keep texting her I’m going to push her away? I just want her back because I don’t think I can live without her, but what do I do if she’s starting to move on?

Chris Seiter

October 1, 2015 at 6:03 pm

Hi Caleb, go over to my site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery you can find great advice there.

Gaby

September 24, 2015 at 1:08 am

Hey Chris,
Thank you so much for creating a place where people like me can come and be a part of a communuty. Breakups are tough.
I was with my boyfriend for a year we had a falling out earlier this year which eventually ended our relationship. There was no cheating involved. However after implimenting the no contact rule (6 weeks), I started texting him and asked to meet up. He agreed and we’ve been in contact ever since. Eventually, My ex boyfriend told me he had a girlfriend. What should I do? He said he’s figuring out a lot of stuff. I still love him and I want him back. I told him how I felt and so now he knows. Only time will tell….

Chris Seiter

October 1, 2015 at 6:27 pm

Very tough!

Can I just say I updated this article there is a version 2.0 of it.

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-if-he-has-a-girlfriend-version-2-0/

Sasha

September 20, 2015 at 1:21 pm

Hi Chris, (or anyone willing to give me advice!)
My ex boyfriend broke up with me a little more than 2 months ago (the day after my birthday). I was with him for almost a year. We were very much in love. But our views on certain things pushed him away. His family didn’t like me because of views (politically etc). He said he doesn’t see a future with me. It really crushed me because I was so in love with him. Anyways we both came back to college (we met in class together our freshman year) and things were very awkward. Our first encounter since the breakup was uncomfortable. I maintained positive though. I would text him like twice a week but he would be short and stop responding. He never texts me and always ends the texting first. One morning we bumped into each other and had an hour long conversation. It was great until the end. We talked about many memories and what we’ve been up to. When he was leaving he asked to hug me. We hugged (3x) for so long. It almost made me cry. He told me that he can’t hang out with me because he still is attracted to me and that he knows that if he hangs out with me, his feelings will develop. Fast forward 3 weeks from then… I heard from his fraternity brothers that we was seeing another girl. I then proceeded to walk in on him and this girl cuddling on a couch. This was heartbreaking for me because I’ve been trying to get him back. I’ve tried very hard to text him and have him be interested in me again. Ive been really hopeful that I could get him back but after seeing him with this other girl, I don’t feel hopeful. I just feel depressed and heartbroken. I am still so in love with him. Please please please help me on what to do!! I am starting the 30 day NC but I feel as if his feelings for this other girl will deepen. Then he will never want to be with me. I truely believe that we had something amazing and I think our relationship is worth getting back.
Patty

September 18, 2015 at 9:17 pm

Hi… I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and we were great until I went on vacation for 2 months and he started a new job he got really depressed. He kept telling me that he loved me, that he wanted to see me , that i was the best thing that ever happened to him, a week later he told me he wanted time and then a week later that it was over. I dint follow the no contact rule for almost a month until I found out he started going out with a girl from his new job a week after we broke up. So i decided to stop texting him, so he started calling me and asking why I didn’t call, he told me that he missed me and cared about me. He would call every 2-3 days to see how I was, we saw each other twice and he would stay till 2 am in the morning talking we kissed once. But he kept telling me he was confused and he had to try it with these girl, because “she’s only been nice” and he “kind of likes her”. That they like the same things. But tells me that he likes talking to me and we compliment each other. I told him that it was best if we stop talking and he would convince me that it was ok to talk. I told I wanted him to be happy and he would respond, “ who said I was happy “. I am really confused, I still love him but he would stop seeing her. I told him to stop calling because I was getting hurt, we have almost 3 weeks of no contact. I cant stop thinking about him.
Coralie

September 18, 2015 at 11:57 am

4-6 months ago, I met this guy. He was really, honestly, a know-it-all but I liked him enough to keep him as entertainment when I would get bored. I gave him my skype and we started talking nonstop every single night. It made me happy. More than happy. He complimented me, made me forget my insecurities, helped me through rough times and basically brightened up my life. Then 3 months later, I started noticing certain things about him. His smile, his eyes, the number of freckles on his nose, his cologne, the distance we stand from each other, etc. My heart would start beating like crazy whenever he would laugh or joke around. A couple days later, I realized something. He was my best friend and I had feelings for him. I was so deep in thought that I forgot to talk to him that night. I just closed my laptop and lay down, thinking about how it started. 4 days later, he started to become…awkward around me. Whenever I’d laugh or hug or make skin contact with him, he would turn around for a couple minutes then go back to being normal. Days later, I questioned his strange behavior. He said that he didn’t want to ruin our friendship by telling me the reason and my brain immediately imagined all of the worst possible scenarios. Basically, my heart sort of “cracked”. I only started listening to him when I heard the three words that I dreamed him saying. “I love you.” I…was on Cloud 9. Nothing anyone said mattered anymore and he was just my whole world. Then, I joined a little group. They were fun, kind of douche Bs to other people, but still fun. I hung out with them everyday and I realized that I barely had time to talk to “him”. We still chatted every night but he said that he felt like I’m replacing him. So I took a “day off” from that group and decided to go and hang out with him, but he said he couldn’t because he had something to do. This went on for 2 weeks. One night, I was chilling on my couch, thinking about him when I received a message from him. He said that it wasn’t going to work out. He said that he saw where my priorities were and that it didn’t include him. That was 2 weeks ago. Yesterday was the first day I was in the same place with him and it hurt. Today…I heard some mutual friends talking about how he already has a girlfriend. (They never knew about our relationship and I was fine with that. Though I’m sure they had their suspicions.) This…crushed me way more than I expected. During those two weeks I thought I already let him go. I thought that I was ready for anything. Alas, they were just dreams. I wasn’t ready when I saw his face, his smile, and the way he showed so little emotion when we were in a conversation with mutual friends. And that girl. That…girl I envy so much. The one who gets to hug him, the one who gets to see how his eyes shine whenever he smiles at her, the one who so easily took my place. We actually met her during the time when I joined that little group. I was wary of her and he said that no matter what, he promised that he would never replace me with any other female in the whole world. I doubted him. I knew she liked him from the first day. She would just stare at him with this…look that I hated. That was the first time I regretted not making our relationship public. Now she has him and I just…don’t.

I don’t know what I would gain from posting this, but I’m glad that this was out of my head and heart.

Smarty

October 11, 2015 at 3:46 pm

I totally agree with Danm. All you women here are very special and precious. I know the feeling of that pain in the gut, but hey it only means that God has a much better man for you. He closed that door so He can send that special someone in your life. If the No contact rule worked then that’s good. My ex called me after two weeks to date me but I made a decision not to continue anything with him because of excessive profanity and prison character. Think about his flaws it worked well even if he already has a girlfriend. I don’t love him anymore. I even block him on Facebook, cell phone, email and his Google account. That’s the first thing he checked when we got together. Shucks! He got hold of my cellphone and checked my Facebook.

Fall in love with Jesus. The true Healer, restorer of your soul. He will never hurt you. You women I love you all and hold your head up high. God is preparing the right man for you, but you also need to prepare yourself for your prince charming… I am!
Danm

October 6, 2015 at 3:18 am

Look i am no relationship expert…but…i rather loose the love of my life than my pride….U can live without the love of ur life….but you will always have to live with U and once u loose ur self-respect…it would be very hard to recover ur confidence. Therefore, dont do anythign to recover him. Move on…i know is hard but time heals everything…and the chances are that if you keep ur self confident that in the future he might look back and admire you and remember you because u were that girl that apprecieted herself so much that she didnt “begg” There is nothing sexier than confidence. Besides, think about urself as the most special being on earth. That being said..the guy that would deserve ur heart will have to work for it if he wants it. If not, he was not the right “high level” person that u need beside u. He was an idiot who couldnt appreciete you. Show him that u are happy,confident and ready to move on to a better guy.

ajlal

September 16, 2015 at 8:09 pm

Mye x and i broke up 3 weeks ago and he is n.a new relationship. He posts pictures of him and his gf child all.over fb, he ignores me and i.dnt understand how he can just move on and leave me…help me get him back.
Lucie

September 16, 2015 at 12:25 pm

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend and I had been together for 7.5 years. He left me 3 months ago for another girl (he had been cheating during 2 months with her). My ex says that he still has feelings for me but has strong feelings for the other girl. One of the reason of the break-up is that there was some routine in our couple, but it’s also mostly because he fell in love with this other girl.

She was in a relationship which was falling apart (according to the ex of that girl, this was because she was too controlling), and she was looking for a quick replacement. She is clever and she is the one pulling the strings (my ex is more of a follower): she first became his friend and confidant, she did the first move to seduce him/kiss him, and she is now trying to create new memories with him as quickly as possible to make him move-on (week-end abroad, planning holidays, …).

However, she has not be honest with him. My boyfriend learned after he broke up with me that she was seeing other guys while their affair was on-going. He was feeling really bad when he learned that but apparently he forgave her. I have to mention as well that she has a very good financial situation and she is trying to impress him (our situation is good as well).

I feel much more mature emotionally after this experience, my sense of priority in life has changed, I live more in the present and I understand that my happiness should not depend (only) on my partner. I know that what my ex did was awful and selfish, however after 3months, I still love him and I have managed to forgive him. I know that he is not a bad person, but a bit naive and easy to influence. He has other qualities that I value and because of our common history and what we have been through in life, I want to get him back.

I understand that my ex was also frustrated because he did not have much relationship experience when we met 7.5 years ago. I know what I would need to change in our relationship / lives and I’m now sure he would be more happy with me on the long term. The other girl is scared he could change his mind, and she is limiting the contact between us. We still have an apartment in common even if he has moved out.

Do you or some of the readers have any advice on how I could proceed ? I know it might not seem reasonable to take him back, but I have been thinking rationally about that in the past weeks, and I think I do it for good reasons.
Marianne

September 16, 2015 at 7:59 am

Hello Chris,
it’s been 4 months since I broke up with my ex he is now in a relationship.
One of his family members just texted me that he asked them if they could come check on me to see if I was ok because they felt bad.
Wanting to purchase your book because after reading your articles I’m willing to get him back but don’t know if he’s moved on and just doesn’t want to b the bad guy or still loves me.
your advice would be much appreciated.
El

September 14, 2015 at 3:30 am

I was in a really deep and loving relationship with my boyfriend for the past five years. We did everything together and really loved hanging out. Last year I had to go to Thailand for work for 6 months and he came with me. We had a huge fight in Thailand, at the end of the six months and we broke up and he came back to the US. He took a job in a city a few hours away from me and moved there for temporary work. We briefly tried to reconcile when I got back but because he was working in another city we sort of broke up… I don’t think either of us really wanted to though and we never even really said we were breaking up. He immediately started dating someone else who is the opposite of me. That was three months ago and he is still seeing her. He and I talked a couple of times over the past two months and I was needy because I didn’t yet know he had started dating someone else and thought we could get back together.

He got another job in another city and I found out for sure just a couple of days ago that he is dating and still seeing her even while she is a two hour drive away from him living in the first city where he worked. I don’t know what to do. I started NC eight days ago but can’t see how I will be able to reach out to him again as I have no excuse to contact or see him after the NC time. It is crazy that he has moved on from our deep relationship so quickly. What can I do???
KC

September 9, 2015 at 5:01 pm

Hi Chris,

I need help. I was in a 7year relationship and i broke up with him 4mos ago. He was kinda irresponsible. We have a 4yr old daughter. After I left him, he still tried his very best to fix the relationship but I was so fed up with everything that I really didnt get back with him. I went home to my parents with out daughter. And after a month, I found out that he has a new gf already. I was hurt and thats when I tried to fix us back together but until now nothing happened. And im 25wks pregnant with our 2nd baby. He is communicating with me consistently because he is asking for money and telling me stories about how supportive his new gf is. He told me that he became very miserable from the moment I left him, etc. and now i found out that he is posting happy photos of him and his new gf on instagram. What should I do? I feel hurt everytime I hear anything about him. I still love him so much but it seems like he has moved on and happy with his new gf. Please i need help.

Thanks
KC
Andy

September 5, 2015 at 1:05 am

Hey Chris! I just wanted to let you know, if you’re ever going to read this, is that you’re doing an amazing job comforting and helping out women from all over the world (massive shoutout from the Philippines woohoo). Seriously, great job! I stumbled across this website after, well what do you know, googling “How to get back your boyfriend”. I cheered up instantly after reading this article.

I have been pretty bummed about my ex going after someone new lately after our 2 year long relationship, and I always felt stupid whenever I cried. People were telling me that it was my fault for caring too much about him- thus, resulting in him feeling indifferent in the future. He broke up with me and I agreed, partly because I think i shouldn’t force someone to like me if he doesn’t feel that way about me anymore, but mostly because he told me he wanted to be alone and re-evaluate himself. We both cried and promised- pinky promised, that we would back to being best friends. He cried to his friends, and I cried to my friends and yada yada yada we stopped contacting. Two weeks in and I heard he was already texting with some girl and I felt, i don’t know, betrayed? Because i actually thought that he wanted to be alone and he couldn’t give me time anymore.

Which led me here. I’ve stopped crying ever since I read this because I realized that yeah, I did have to know that it wasn’t my fault for him trying to find someone new. For the first time in three days, I have finally decided to stop comparing or thinking about him and his new ex and promised myself that I would start giving myself the same amount of love and kindness he forgot to give during our relationship. We’re going to inevitably see each other in December anyways (because we have reunions since we were batchmates in high school), so I guess i’ll give him the space he asked for and let things flow naturally when we see each other again.

To get back with him or not, is something I have not yet exactly carefully thought about yet. I don’t know. We’ll see. I just really wanted to show you how much i genuinely loved this article and how it changed the way I felt and cheered me up. Thankyou so much Chris! 🙂
Yola

September 2, 2015 at 4:10 am

Hello
I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for about a year and 4 months now but all hasn’t been good. When we were dating for one year in fact on our one year anniversary he came to my house but I had made plans with another guy to meet up so I wanted him out of the way and said terrible things to him, he was really hurt and told me it was our special time to be together but I’ve hurt him. I ended up leaving my house (even when he was still there) and went to meet this guy we ended up having sex. Things got right with my bf even though I hurt him that much but I never told him until he went with his friends to some place where they visited the friend’s family. He told me he was going to be gone for a week. I waited for him but during that week he didn’t contact me in any way, I missed him and it looked like he was ignoring me. He ended up being away for 3 weeks and when he got back he told me he kissed a girl that side. So I ended up telling him about the guy I slept with. After that it was never really the same but he kept coming back to me. He then he went again to the same place with his friend. He told me he was going for a weekend but stayed for a week and after that he confessed he was in love “crushed” on this one girl (same girl he kissed) and I asked him if he wanted to stay with me he said yes but I don’t know if he meant it. He promised I wouldn’t get hurt. After the week he was away he also disappointed me often and when I tried to incorporate the NC rule, he would come to my house after few days and I end up forgiving him. But I can still see that he isn’t the same even after he told me I wouldn’t get hurt because he never texted me since he told me about the crush. Its been a day and idk if I should ignore him for thirty days to see if he really cares.
Ella

August 29, 2015 at 11:06 am

Just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this website. I’ve been hooked for months. Thank you so much.