How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Veronica

November 10, 2015 at 12:59 pm

Hi Chris!
My ex boyfriend and I has been not together for over a year and half now. But there’s a little lingering feelings still because I had a baby with him a hopeful he come to his senses we were together for 7 year sz Now he has a new girlfriend he met online She’s pretty, I gained weighed during pregnancy and he stop acknowledging me. and I told him why would he put her first instead of his daughter because he never picked his daughter up. That’s why I was mad and message him things about that and the new girl. We are separated before her birth but I realize he cut contact and barely talk to me anymore or not interested about the baby like he used to. What should I do? You think this is a big chance they will workout because we have been broken up for awhile but he never claim her at all and change the subject on me if I say anything about do you have a girl and he denies it.. Why can’t he tell me?
Flora

November 9, 2015 at 8:17 pm

My ex of a year broke up with me last January. In April I started dating someone else to get over him, but never truly did and he continued contacting me saying he missed me. I didn’t end my new relationship because he kept saying he still wasn’t sure what he wanted. Last week he tells me my boyfriend is a lucky guy, and he’s been very lonely. I still don’t give in, then I find out yesterday he started to date his best female friend that I always believed was secretly in love with him the entire time we were dating, and suspect she was also the one who persuaded he and I were not right for one another. Is there any chance to win him back, or is it too late because she was before I was ever in the picture? I’d normally move on but we talked in depth about our future together and I thought he was “the one” without a doubt in my mind and still can’t get over him 10 months later.

Thanks
Jessica

November 9, 2015 at 6:52 am

Hi Chris
I have been reading your blog for a while, every time when I feel vulnerable I read your posts,and they really help me regain my confidence. There’s something that’s been bothering me so badly and I could really use your advice.

My ex broke up with me eight month ago and he got a new girl friend immediately after our break up. Originally he told me she’s just a rebound, but after he spent the time with this girl he is very into her now.

We were together for five years. I know that you taught us the no contact rule, but during that period he called me twice and I couldn’t help myself. Now I moved on to the next phase but when I ask him out he seems not interested.

What should i do now? Should I keep the distance and wait? Or should I keep trying? I start to lose patience and I’m really scared the more time they spent together the less chance left for me. I would really appreciate if you could give me some advices!
Alessia

November 9, 2015 at 1:49 am

My ex has a great heart but is also unstable with a fear of commitment. We had an passionate off-and-on relationship for several years. I was faithful and supportive, but he went off with other women several times, usually after periods during which we became close. I think intimacy makes him feel vulnerable. I always accepted him back, because despite his faults and mine, I love him with all my heart. I wanted to have children with him but we had no success at conceiving, which I thought was due to fertility problems on his side. However, the last time he went off with another woman, she got pregnant. He didn’t tell me for a while. He tried to find a way to keep me in his life. But the pain of watching him in a relationship with her after I found out about the pregnancy was too much for me emotionally, and he ended up deciding that even though the pregnancy was a surprise, he had to be the best man he could be in that situation by supporting and staying with the mother. We haven’t seen one another for several months, but after I applied the no contact rule for a bit, we started texting each other (in a friendly way) again, about once a week. I am working on myself – training at the gym, getting my hair done, dressing nicely, going out with friends, trying to stay positive. But I just can’t seem to move on romantically. This man really was the love of my life and I miss him terribly. I know he misses me too because he has told me so. His girlfriend is due to give birth shortly. Do you have any suggestions for how, or even whether, to work on getting back together with an ex in this type of situation? I should add that his girlfriend is quite controlling and prone to breaking into his phone, which makes it hard for us to stay friends.
Elaine

November 5, 2015 at 11:43 pm

Hi Chris. My ex boyfriend and I was in a long distance relationship, we had been together for 4 months but he suddenly wanted to break up with me on 11 September. He had always been a really caring and sweet guy, but for the past month he has been ignoring and giving me cold replies, saying that he was no longer has feelings for me and that I could find someone better. He said the breakup was a problem with him and that I had done nothing wrong. I originally requested him to give me a year to try to spark his interest in me again, but he turned it down.

Since then he removed all photos of us on Facebook and Instagram. He had been busy with his school work attachment and has very little time for me. He felt alone despite me me flying over to find him every 3-4 months, I’ve started working so I told him I can visit him every month. We also frequently played online games together. We have always contacted each other daily through Facebook and Skype before the breakup, I’ve also made myself contactable via Facebook, Skype, Twitter, and Whatsapp.

On 20 September, usually a man of his word, in order to stop me from trying to get him back, he said he has a new girlfriend ( which I thought was not possible because he mentioned before he despise those kind of people and will not be one of them). However on 22 September, he suddenly posted intimate photos of him and another girl, which apparently is his new gf (another intern who he met in the same hotel kitchen while during his attachment as a pastry chef). I really love him because he was the one who comforted me during my 1st breakup and helped me back on my feet, along the way he fell in love with me. That’s why I have fallen so deeply in love with him. I have recently sent him a photo puzzle of us, as well as a card for our 5th monthsary which had just received on 2 October, hoping that would help in jolting his memories of the happy times we had together but it didn’t help. His new gf replied my messages to him. Since then my ex bf has blocked me off all his social media, FB, Skype, Instagram, Whatsapp. I’ve sent him the gift box containing the photo album and sweets which he had received on 13 October but he did not message me about it. He unblocked me on Facebook on 25 October secretly.

His new gf is not from the same country as him but she has just moved in to stay with my ex’s family after they have both completed their internship on 30 October (which is about a week already). I have done No Contact for 23 days before I tried adding him again on Facebook on 6 November, however he blocked me again on Facebook. What should I do? How do I get him back to my side?
T. Raquel

November 5, 2015 at 12:30 pm

Dear Chris,

First of all, I would like to compliment for this amazing channel. Thank you for the advices although I am in the opposite situation. I was dating a guy who has a ex girlfriend. They were together for 8 years. We were dating for only 3 months. When we started dating he told me they broke up in November 2015, and when I said that there was a chance for them to get back again, he totally denied. The scenario is: we live in Brasil, he lives in the same city that I do, she lives 2,000 km away, in a city he was born. He goes very often to the city she lives. Last week he went there to visit his family. When he came back he told me he needed to talk and wrote me something like that: “I met my ex this weekend, we hooked up. I felt feelings for her. I am telling you this since I dont believe it would be honest not to do so. Also I dont think it is honest to go out with you anymore.”
Well, very clear: they are back together. I just wrote: “Thank you for been honest. I dont know what to say. I enjoyed to be with you. I wish you all the best. Take care.” then he sent a heart and thats all. I liked him.
Well, my question is: in my case, should I also aply 30 days no contact rule? Do you have any specific advice for my case?
Thank you!!
Amanda

November 4, 2015 at 5:22 pm

Hi, My boyfriend left me coz of long distance. And he said he is tired of my anger and me breaking up every-time. He said he can be friends with me but nothing will work out. Coz he thinks i am not happy with him. I begged cried and told him otherwise. He didn’t listen. I promised i wont threaten him for breakup again. But he didnt listen to me. I started NC. He msgd me during that. N i told him I have contacted my ex and I am happy talking to my ex. He asked whether i am back with my ex I told him no but I share good equation with him, and breakup was the best thing happened to me. he said good luck. and never msgd again. Did i play it all wrong?
Brokenhearted

November 3, 2015 at 5:27 pm

I think I was the re-bound girl!
I was with my ex for over a year. He did tell me when we started dating that he had broken up with his girlfriend of six months. Now she’s moved to the city and he left me because he said he still had feelings for here even though he said I was “the perfect girlfriend – right girl wrong time.”

I’m not over him and I just want to know from a male point of view if I have any hope of getting him back.

Brokenhearted

November 3, 2015 at 5:32 pm

Also, I have tried not to talk to him. I haven’t spoken to him in over a month and his birthday is coming up. Is it wise to text him and wish him happy birthday?

vrd

November 3, 2015 at 4:45 pm

hi 🙁
errr my bf and i were in a relationship for 1 year 2 mths N then we broke up..to make him jealous i pretended loving someone else…on seeing this he also wanted to move on..but at that time i still had feelings for him..so he started dating my friend :/ …and its been 8months that they r 2gether..i really want my bf back…and he told my other friend that he may come back to me but he is scared of being hurt again 🙁 …plz help me
Jani

November 1, 2015 at 9:26 pm

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend of almost two years left 2 months ago. We were having issues because he was going out alto with his friends and I felt like he wasnt spending much time with me. Other then this we had our normal arguments but everything seemed good. After he left he was very angry and refused to talk or answer my texts. He had said i kicked him out and I did say that if he was going to do what he wanted that maybe we shouldn’t be together. I tried everything before in regards to expressing myself to him. He would come here while I wasnt home showered and such and then told me he found a room for rent. That was one of the rare times he spoke to me by text. Just lastweek i texted and I asked if this is all because of a girl he didnt respond (I was calling and texting heavy when this started) so after sent the text I called and he said he has girl and then didnt want to say anything else. I was devasted to say the least. I stupidly called back and he said his girl was standing right nextto him andthat its. Making her uncomfortable. I never heard her at all in the background. Regardless it was enough embarrassment for me to no longer reach out. So two days ago he texted me because put his car which I boughton craigslist (which he didnt want Cruz he bought another one) he said he wanted his cut of what I make. .. I told him he did enough to not text me. Yesterday he texted me again and said its messed up in selling the car after all the work he put into it. He asked for my son and then said he is sorry for how it ended but he just didnt want to be with me. He also said i am a nice person and will find someone special. Then he said this s*** brought him to tears and put a crying face. I didnt respond. Do u think he just wants money or is he in his feelings? Maybe he just wants money for the car. (I bought by the way. I have reachedout in 11 days why does he want to say sorry now? Is there a chance or is if too late? Am sad he told me I will find someone special. He was so mean. And now he wants to say sorry. Idk if its because of the car or if he really meant it. Thanks for reading

Jani

November 1, 2015 at 10:36 pm

I just wonder if he has a girl why reach out now to say sorry. As I mentioned on October 20 he told me about this girl and since then I havent reached out. Am selling the car because I bought it and I have no use for it and he clearly had told me that he didnt want it once he bought his car. So he saw the add on craigslist because I guess he was looking and immediately that night he texted to tell me its messed up he is selling it. Why would he now basically tell me that I will find someone special? Im so confused! Also I wanted to mention that everytime he came to pick up his stuff when this all started he would come here crying each and every time but did not want to work it out. Why do u think he would cry if he didnt want to be with me? And I think he got with the girl maybe a couple weeks after. I could certainly be wrong but i think she’s recent. Thanks

Ashley

October 29, 2015 at 5:19 pm

If my ex is in a rebound relationship and if they end up breaking up and wants to be in a relationship again with me, will he be using me as a rebound to get his rebound back, or is he genuinely wanting to be in a relationship with me?
Amy

October 29, 2015 at 3:57 pm

Hi Chris,
My long distance boyfriend broke up with me early last month because of the distance (we only live 4 hour away from eachother) . He blocked me on Instagram about 3 weeks ago and a week afterwards I asked him why, he replied saying it was for the best and that being the way we used to be isn’t gonna help us both move on. Yet he still has me on Facebook and snapchat which I found very confusing. I found out yesterday that he’s got a new girlfriend through a friend of mine that seen the picture of her on his Instagram. Kinda guessing that’s why he blocked me for. He knows how I feel and that I haven’t moved on yet. He has given me no respect to give it abit of time for it to heal. Makes me wonder if he was talking to his girlfriend now back when me and him broke up. None of it adds up and makes sense. It’s hurting me so much, I don’t know if it’s a rebound relationship or if he actually has feelings for her and has moved on from me:( I just want him back but I don’t know what to do and I have no hope now he is in another relationship. Any advice on what to do will be appreciated!
snigdha

October 27, 2015 at 7:59 am

Hi Chris,

I dated a guy for more than 2 yrs, then it happened on his bday his ex girlfriend popped out of the blue n things changed. He cheated on me and now am being replaced. i tried everything but once the angel has become the hurdle and distraction in his life. He brokeup with me. I know everyone said move on, whereas even my brain and heart are having a fight. Please help me to have him back.
Zah

October 27, 2015 at 1:08 am

Hi Chris. I was in relationship with a guy n we were dating since 6 months. But I broke up with him n now he’s not ready to forgive me. And currently he patched up with his previous girlfriend whom he was serious about that too before me. I guess he is happy now. But I really want him back. Plzz help
Lauren S

October 26, 2015 at 1:12 am

Hi Chris,

so i broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years one night in the middle of a fight. he basically said im not going to change and if you dont like than leave and I hung up on him over the phone. Well for three weeks after that we kept going back and forth texting and calling everyday I know very bad. But he wouldnt give me a clear answer it was always changing of of we were getting back together or broken up, in that three weeks i found out he had a girlfriend for a couple days i bad mouth her one night when we were talking because I found out the day after we had sex. WELL then we started talking he kept messaging me first asking to meet up and to come over. so finally I DID we had sex and he said he wanted to slowly get back together then i didnt hear from him for a day or two then While i was at a concert I got drunk and had to go to hospital he told me he was going to come but ended up not, well I FOUND OUT HE was with a new girl. That day my phone started acting up and kept texting and calling him well he kept responding and answering in first ring. sometimes we were talking about some of his thing he asked how i was feeling since i got hurt. His new girl called me and told me to leave him alone and all, well so i haven’t talked to him since. Well we ran into each other at a restaurant and as soon as we made eye contact he ran out of the restaurant leaving his food uneaten and look liked he was crying. I had been starting to work on my self and wearing some sexy looking clothing. the other day I had to text him about something important and he responded right away as i took forever to respond. Now this girl is no way better looking or acts better than me. She is three years younger than us. Do you think there is any chance of us getting back together?

Lauren S

October 26, 2015 at 1:15 am

i forgot to add he told all his friends that i am the one and we were even pretty much engaged.

Dandy

October 25, 2015 at 1:25 am

Hi Chris and others,

Although this article about getting your boyfriend back, my situation is the other way around. I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years a dew months before we were slated to get officially engaged. I guess I got cold feet, I always thought we had our issues and wasn’t sure we would make it as a married couple. This time we had a small fight and I thought this was my way out and told her about it, she was really upset and we decided to part ways. After our breakup we still kept in contact and for about four months she was keen to get back and I did too but thought a fresh start was the way to go. So I completely cut-off all communications with her. I started traveling around and meeting new people and never really felt comfortable with anyone and started to miss my Ex. I was aware though she was also moving forward by meeting new people.

About a year after our breakup I traveled with a common friend of ours and had a crush on her and though the feelings were mutual, I asked her out but she said otherwise. Coincidentally my Ex also found someone compatible at the very same time and was not sure if she should proceed. In-fact she enquired through some common friends about my status and when she was told about my travel and asking the girl out she decided she had waited enough and moved ahead.

Now this is were things got complicated for me, I suddenly felt a strong need for my Ex (although I didn’t know she had moved on) and was not brave enough to contact her and also didn’t want to mess it up for her. I did eventually contact her and told her how I felt. Only to be told she is planning to get married to this new guy in a few months and she is in a committed relationship but they live in different cities. I was devastated and asked her if she loved him ? and I would let her go if she is happy and I realize the mistake I have made and I would have to live with it. Her answer was though he seems like a great guys, fits all the parameters and is happy to settle down. In a few weeks of hanging around with her she said that she feels conflicted now. Now she is struggling to make up her mind and says she loves me but can’t see a future with me (as she can’t get over the fact I asked a common friend out !) whilst she doesn’t quite love him but thinks he is a good compromise. What really irritated me was the fact that she played it really safe with him by only telling him about my intentions and feelings but not really how she felt. She did tell him she needed some time to think. When she was with him she completely disconnected and blocked my number and contact out and when she was back she tells me that she can’t decide. When I confronted her about this once when she was with him she ended it.

So I I thought that’s the end of it and trying to move on and employing the no contact rule. But just 2 weeks later she called me and I deliberately missed her call. I have been so anxious to hear from her again and its few an additional 2 weeks now. I am not sure if she wants to come back but I heard from friends that she was still confused a few weeks ago.

I know that I have orchestrated this mess in both our lives. Although I truly love her and I know she does too. I had to completely loose her to realize how much I wanted her. Since its my mistake I would want to work through to let her go. But I can’t accept the fact that she is making a compromise knowingly !

What should I do ? Do I just let her go ? Give her all the time she needs ? Let her know of my stance ?

Any suggestions are welcome !
Brynne

October 22, 2015 at 2:37 am

My boyfriend and I of 2 and a half years broke up about three weeks ago. I initiated the breakup because I loved him but wasn’t 100% if I was IN love with him. The day after, I texted him saying I regretted everything I’ve done and wanted to talk. He was we could talk about it after I’ve had time to really think it over which sounded reasonable. We meet for coffee a few days later and I find out he’s been seeing another girl after he met her at a party (Three days after the initial breakup). He wanted to be friends right off the bat, but I still loved him. He’s asked if I was going to this Halloween party and after I confirmed I was, he tells me he’s bringing this other girl he’s seeing a few days later. He keeps going back and forth on “We’re just hanging” and “We’re seeing each other” with this new girl. I really want him back. How can I play this smart and achieve this?
ORI

October 21, 2015 at 6:04 pm

Hi Chris,

my ex left me and he is in a rebound relatonship (I guess) with a girl who also left her boyfriend…are there any chances for them? Can I get him back?
I have already done the no contact for 30 days..then contacted him. By the time I didn’t knew he was already with this new girl, he just told me about and I feel awful…
Any advice? Thank you so much!

T. Raquel

November 5, 2015 at 12:11 pm

Dear Chris,

First of all, I would like to compliment for this amazing channel. Thank you for the advices although I am in the opposite situation. I was dating a guy who has a ex girlfriend. They were together for 8 years. We were dating for only 3 months. When we started dating he told me they broke up in November 2015, and when I said that there was a chance for them to get back again, he totally denied. The scenario is: we live in Brasil, he lives in the same city that I do, she lives 2,000 km away, in a city he was born. He goes very often to the city she lives. Last week he went there to visit his family. When he came back he told me he needed to talk and wrote me something like that: “I met my ex this weekend, we hooked up. I felt feelings for her. I am telling you this since I dont believe it would be honest not to do so. Also I dont think it is honest to go out with you anymore.”
Well, very clear: they are back together. I just wrote: “Thank you for been honest. I dont know what to say. I enjoyed to be with you. I wish you all the best. Take care.” then he sent a heart and thats all. I liked him.
Well, my question is: in my case, should I also aply 30 days no contact rule? Do you have any specific advice for my case?
Thank you in advance!
ORI

October 22, 2015 at 9:34 am

They meet at a chat room after we broke up…like one week after.
I have been trying to build connection with him again, texting him about things he likes and memories of ours…sometimes they go great other times he just ignores me.
After that we meet twice face to face and he is very happy to see me again, he said he still loves me but also likes this new girl, he feels pretty confused. Maybe I should stop going after him for some time and give him some space to think?
Chris Seiter

November 19, 2015 at 1:41 pm

Yes you are right on the money but don’t tell him you are giving him space. Do not contact for 1-2 weeks.
Chris Seiter

October 21, 2015 at 8:42 pm

There rate of success would be extremely low if they are both in a rebound relationship. Were they talking while you two were dating? How did the new girl come up and what was your text to him?

Claire

October 19, 2015 at 5:23 pm

My ex and I have been broken up for over a year now but hooked up and talked following the breakup. That all ended in May. I got a new boyfriend to try and move on (I’m horrible) and my ex asked to get lunch and clear the air after I started dating this new guy. My ex found out and changed his mind about seeing me for lunch. A month or two after this he started dating a girl. Is he in a rebound relationship? Did he only get this girlfriend because I got a boyfriend? Does he think I’ve moved on so he gave up? Has he moved on? I want him back. Please help.

Stacy

November 9, 2015 at 5:54 pm

hi Chris!

I was with my bf for 2 and a half years, we have a child together. We had him young and we fought a lot once he was born. My ex got to a point where he didn’t want to try any more. We broke up 4 months ago and he quickly moved to another girl from the start who is 18 and he is 21. I have not talked to him in two weeks and he has only tried to call me once about our son. We had a blow up where I called him repeatedly. He had sex with me while he was with his current gf and tried to brush it under the table and then when i confronted hi about it he got mad and thats the last time we spoke. Is their a chance he will regret what he did and say sorry if i don’t talk to him for long enough
Anna

November 2, 2015 at 9:32 pm

I tryed the same exact thing and also tryed making him jelouse but it didnt work so i got a new boyfriend and he wanted to hang out and do homework with me and tgen some big mouth told him i had a new boyfriend he cancled our hangout/homework date and he went and found him a new girlfriend i was so angry because it was my best friend but now we are back together and in high school and we have a little girl 3 months old and her name is Jodie

Selena

October 17, 2015 at 11:26 pm

Hi. My boyfriend and I dated for 8 months and it was a LDR. It was great and very very serious, though we never had sex. He broke up with me on Tuesday and he got a new girlfriend yesterday.. just 3 days after our break up! They kissed yesterday and I believe today they just had sex. How do I get him back?

Chris Seiter

October 18, 2015 at 6:01 pm

Do no contact for 21 days and then try texting him. LDR’s are tough. What was your plan going forward? Were you going to move to him or was he going to move towards you?

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3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”