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3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. laie

    January 31, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    hello.. im from maldives… i just want to share my problem … i was in a relationship for 4 years with my boyfriend.. but he never gave any support or love and caring forme… my family is not happy to n with him… but i love him sooo much that i can do anything for him…. but he betrayed me …. he messages her friends baby i love you like that.. when i ask who is it he tell that shes a friend of mine ithink that friends must have a limit……now he is with her what can i do to get him back

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2016 at 5:46 am

      Laie,

      Oh how I love to go to Maldives! I bet you’re beautiful too and you should know that. Know Your worth because most, if not all, treat us the way we value ourselves. Do you know about no contact period?

  2. Maggie

    January 23, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I wanna share with you my story and If you have to give me some advice. My relationship was 4 years. We ware at same sport univercity and growing together, I was with him for every situation. His competitions are was more important then mine. I was thinking, excited and support him for every competition that he played. I Love him so much. But he broke me, never feel so distroyed. Change me for another girl. These days was his ceremony for gradulation. I living for this day, to see him with diplom. Many times before I dreaming about this day and he know that. And instead greeting invitation I see he posted photos at Facebook with her.. they are celebration. I feel like a coach, after final match, like see his wining team from far away and can`t do anything. The team was forgot for who can say only Thanks. Is it fair? Do you think that he want to make me jealous? Is it something can I do now? Thanks.

    1. Maggie

      January 28, 2016 at 3:56 pm

      Don`t know, maybe half year. He don`t tell me nothing. I understand that from Facebook. Last few mounts he was stealthy and disstance.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2016 at 10:36 am

      So they’re together now for 6 months? If that is so, I don’t think he’s making you jealous. Are you talking to each other after the breakup?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2016 at 12:48 pm

      Hi Maggie

      When did they goy together?

  3. Haleu

    January 23, 2016 at 3:32 am

    what if he’s dating your friend? is it ok to make him jealous by dating him jealous?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2016 at 2:13 pm

      Sorry haleu, I don’ understand your message. You want to make your ex jealous?

  4. Kallie

    January 20, 2016 at 6:37 am

    Hey i have been reading your blogs about how to get my ex back. I am currently trying out the no contact rule. this is the relationship; We were together for 6 months he wanted to marry me after 3 and even proposed to me, i didnt deny him but i know my parents would be mad because I am a little young but he is 4 years older than me, he understood and wasnt mad at all. We were in a relationship before we became friends while in the relationship we ended up becoming bestfriends we did alot of things together we told each other everything and even after the break up he still tells me that he loves and misses me. Alot of the reason for the breakup was around the time he got into a car accident and went into debt really bad “because of me.” i try to help pay for everything but he pushes me out of the way literally when i hand my card to a cashier and he quickly hands his to them. the day before the breakup he told me he loved me and that it was really hard to get me and that he never wanted to lose me. I finally figure out a week later that he had a class with one of his “exes” and that was the night he broke up with me. i also remembered when we told each other about our past relationships he said that she used him and everything. I just dont know what to do or what might happen he is still my best friend and he tells me all the time im his best friend, he just doesnt think it will work out. i am trying not to over think, is it because of the girl or what he is going through? will i ever get him back? is there even a chance?

    1. Kallie

      January 21, 2016 at 11:32 pm

      Thanks for responding to me, its just really hard i dont know what he is thinking he tells me he loves me and he doesnt want to be with anyone else but yet i still think he has an eye for her. He tells me that i am the most beautiful thing in the world again he just doesnt think it will work out. As far as social media goes thats pretty much a good way what do you recommend me posting, having fun with my family? Im afraid during the no contact he will just move on with her, i know if its meant to be it will be but i cant get the thought out of my head that he really is my soulmate and he use to tell me that all time. Even when we had little arguments i told him no relationship is perfect and he always said ” well we are pretty damn close to it.” I am going to spend this month focusing on myself to better myself for my self and him. I already have a gameplan and the txt im going to send him and everything. I just hope its worth it and it works out hes an introvert and i am pretty much both. Is there anything else i can do to show him even after the month that i am worth beside my mind, body and clothes?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Whatever you do, you need to do it for yourself because other people will value you based on how you value yourself

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2016 at 11:59 am

      Kallie,

      You said after the break up he still tells you he loves and misses you. So I think there’s a chance. If the girl is the reason for the breakup, you need to show you’re more worth it than her. Let’s face it. It’s going to be a competition in his mind and you need to show more value. Show him why he should not lose you. Do that during no contact. Post your activities in social media for him to see.

  5. Christina

    January 15, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Hi Chris, I was with my boyfriend for 7 years and recently he told me we needed to talk and said he has been thinking about the future and said that he couldn’t see me in it and that he loves me but is not in love with me.

    We did have a break about last year January where he wanted to be on a break to sort out some feelings he didn’t understand he was feeling so I gave him space and we was on a break for around a month we did keep in contact through the break and then decided to give things another chance and after that things went well to great and nothing felt wrong I felt happy again and I was sure he was but 9 months later after the break he all of a sudden said he was feeling something then we had a talk and he ended things. He couldn’t explain exactly why he was feeling that and how after all those years together he couldn’t see a future with me, I still feel like I don’t have the answer I want.
    I’m finding the break up extremely hard I’m so heart broken, lonely and all I can do is think about him and how he has done this to me and our relationship, i still love him and i want him back i still feel their is a chance for us we have so much history and memories I can’t just throw away.
    it’s been 4 months since we broke and I’ve cried a lot of tears, I can’t stop thinking about it all and how I want him back. Straight after break up of course I was hurt and all I wanted to do is be with him because he would be the person I would go to when I’m hurt but obviously he’s the one that hurt me so couldn’t I have friends and family helping me but all they want me to do is move on but it’s harder said than done and also I don’t want to. 2 days after break up he text me saying “he wants me to know he’s thinking about me alot, and is sorry if he shouldn’t of sent the text.” I didn’t think he would of done that, I didn’t know what to take from me he cares for me yes but he’s the one that hurt me and done this, I replied but not Stright away took me awhile, he did reply back after that and said he misses me and wants to message me but he felt it wasn’t wise we text for now. I’ve been finding it so hard not hearing from the person I shared everyday with. All I want to do is message him but I know I shouldn’t and he’s probably not wanting to and I’m scared all he wants to do is move on and I know if that’s what he wants I should accept it but I can’t I’m in love with him and I can’t stop feeling that.
    everyday I’ve tried to keep myself distracted but I’m finding it so hard everyday we would speak and going from that to nothing It’s hard for me to distract my mind.
    I did the 30 days NC which was extremely hard to do and when I was ready in messaged him something that reminded me of him and he didn’t reply and we was texting mostly everyday but was like normal then just before Christmas he stopped and didn’t reply, I did a silly things and text him saying hope he’s okay and that if he wanted to stop texting and talking to me he could of just said instead of blanking me, so from then I was really hurt but then to find out he spent new years with someone after seeing a photo of them together in broke down and realised he moved on already, so it’s been 4 months and maybe before the time he broke up with me he was already moving on but if that is so he may actually be into this new girl but I hoping it’s a rebound relationship but I can’t tell. She doesn’t seem the type he would go for but maybe that’s what he wants it don’t know, I came across another photo of their dinner they cooked at his it was exactly what we used to cook, is he trying to replace me with what we did or does he really don’t care and has found someone new to cook for now. I’m thought I was getting through things but now I’m back to square one. I still want him back but how can I knowing he’s moved on. I’m not sure on what to do next I don’t want to give up on him but what chances do I have? Any help and advice please.

    1. Christina

      January 23, 2016 at 2:03 pm

      No we don’t work in the same area and we live like 10 miles from each other but since the break up we haven’t once bumped into eachother in places we could so seems its not likely that we would.

    2. Christina

      January 21, 2016 at 12:11 pm

      Hi, amor
      I need help on taking those actions, as I’m not sure how to go about finding out anything to do with his new relationship to Watch For Trouble Signs there isn’t a way I can find so I can’t actually on that one.
      So im confused on what to text him and if its the right move as hes not speaking to me and a text out the blue when hes happy in a new relationship isnt going to make him reply back to me, so im not sure how to test the waters via text. I’m not sure what actions to take and I’m worried the more time goes by the less chances I have to reconnect with him.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2016 at 1:30 pm

      Do you happen to see each other in any other place? School, work?

    4. Christina

      January 18, 2016 at 11:30 am

      No worries just checking what actions your meant.

      I have read them but I’m really not surehow to go about knowing anything about him to know his troubles or if he has any at all as we all know the first part of dating is like the best part so there’s never any worries really or troubles and to text him now I really don’t think he would reply and I feel even more down if he doesn’t.
      If I did text him to test the waters I’m not sure what I would say, as the last time we spoke he left it in mid convo and never replied back but I realised this is when he must of started dating her. He does have some of my stuff at his which I wanted to get once we reconnected but that didn’t happened you think I could message him about my stuff and pick it up, or do you think that really shows I couldn’t care about him anymore that I need my stuff back so we have nothing of each other’s anymore I have bits of his to but I’m not sure if he knows or would just rather buy new of what it is than see me.

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 9:16 pm

      Hmm yeah it can show you’re totally moving on if you your stuff now.. well, that’s what you need to work on about, think about what 5 you can test text him

    6. Christina

      January 17, 2016 at 9:56 pm

      Hi, amor
      Thank you for your reply, I know there’s no guarantee of a 100% chance but was hoping for something. Which steps are these?

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 9:29 am

      You’re welcome. Sorry I wasn’t clear. The ones under this title ” ARE THERE ANY ACTIONS YOU CAN TAKE TO HELP YOUR CAUSE?” in this blogpost

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 16, 2016 at 9:01 am

      Hi Christina,

      I feel for you. 7 years is long and it’s not easy to forget it just like that. It’s not just that you love him. It’s also like routine or habit that you’ve been for 7 years. Go ahead and cry. Don’t deny whatever you feel because you really need to go through it. Denying your feelings will just end up bottling them, then later on bursting it all out of nowhere. You said you tried the NC rule and you succeeded in completing it for 30 day then after that you also succeeded in connecting back with him. This time it’s a different case because there’s a new girl in the picture. We can’t guarantee a 100% chance of getting him back but there is always a chance. Have you done the steps in this post?

  6. Nicole

    January 12, 2016 at 4:40 pm

    Me and my ex Jose has been dating for 3 months. We have a off and on relationship. In December of 2015, he broke up with me. A month later, he got a new girlfriend. Yesterday, me and him had a fight because I complain about my issues. He removed me and told me not to talk to him. And that me and him aren’t friends anymore.

  7. Sofia

    January 4, 2016 at 12:37 am

    We worked in the same company until I decided to leave for a better offer in another company. Just like any other reletionships, we were happy when we were still together, but things started going bad between us eversince that day I left. I blamed myself at first so I tried to fix it by checking on him every once in a while which ended into fights for some reason. The last time we really talked was about him moving in with me but I declined because I was not ready that time so he broke up with me. That was a nasty fight so I decided to do No Contact for almost two months. I focused on improving myself, going to the gym, changing my hairstyle, and I look better and feel more confident about myself. But then I recently found out that he moved in with a girl he just met at work. I want him to be happy so I show that I’m okay with it when we both hangout with our common friends. But I still feel a lot of pain deep inside. I know we’ll both be fine eventually, I’ll get over him, but I still want to give us another shot. You’re right, we can’t control other people’s feelings and control their minds. But I want this pain that I feel to just go away.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 19, 2016 at 6:04 am

      Hi Sofia,

      About pain, sometimes you just need to feel it for it to be over. If you avoid that you want me to go away. Why is so important to him to move in with a girl? I hate to say this, but if he really likes you or loves you, he’ll make a way for your relationship to work even if it transferred to a new company. On the other side, maybe his new girlfriend is just rebound. When are you going to hang out with him again? The only good thing I see about that is you get to skip doing the test text and start habgung out immediately. Maybe you can go from there on building a relationship again.

  8. Anon

    January 2, 2016 at 11:37 am

    My ex and I were best friends before getting together. At the beginning of our relationship we were so happy and he told me he loved me after about 2 weeks – I’d just like to add that I’m only the second girlfriend he’s ever told he loves, the first cheated on him so he’s quite reserved with his feelings. Things started to go downhill and he wasn’t making much of an effort with me anymore, which would make me mad and we’d end up arguing a lot, further fuelled by the fact that we worked together (he was my manager and 8 years older than me). He broke up with me after about 5 or 6 months of being together and it was awful. I was miserable and work became unbearable for both of us, but mainly me. However, I continued to work with him and eventually the time came for me to leave to go to university. Before I went we had a brief reconciliation which continued into my first few weeks of university, when he told me we seemed to be getting along again and if we could carry on without arguing we could get back together in future. Shortly after he stopped bothering with me and we stopped talking. Now I’ve been home for Christmas for a few weeks and back at work, only for a colleague to blurt out that he has a new girl (this colleague never knew about us, in fact very few people were allowed to know of our relationship because he wanted to keep it secret). I feel as though I’ve been hit by a truck. I know it’s been 6 months or so since our breakup but he told me he didn’t want a relationship, which was why he’d broken up with me. I still love him and it hurts to know that he’d put someone who was once his best friend through so much pain, only to find someone else as soon as he’s ready for a relationship again. What can I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 19, 2016 at 10:57 am

      Hi Anon,
      Truth is people change. He may have meant what he said when he said it to you at that time but it doesn’t mean it won’t change. But to help you, what have you gotten in the post above? What have followed lately? What actions have you done?

  9. Stephanie

    January 1, 2016 at 3:11 am

    Hi,

    My boyfriend of four years broke up with me at the beginning of December. We just started a business in November and our relationship was going great. When he broke up with me I was very confused because our relationship was going great. Earlier in our relationship (at about the 2nd year), we did argue a lot and have a lot of problems but we got through that. When he broke up with me he said he just can’t seem to get over the fact that we used to fight a lot. I am devastated and completely depressed. I don’t know how to get through this break up. My family was close to him and I was very close to his family. Our families want us to get back together and I want to get back with him also. However, it looks like his friends introduced him to a girl already. The girl is beautiful! I am about 95% sure they are already talking and dating. I really don’t know how to deal with this. I see him every single day because we own a business together and I feel like that makes it harder. He is really nice to me when he wants to be and we get a long extremely well. It just seems like he wants to go out and live the “crazy life” for a while. When he broke up with me he did say that he wants to get back with me but he didn’t know when. He said it can be in 1 month, 6 months, 1 year, etc. I honestly don’t understand any of this. Some days I feel fine but other days I’m at my worst ever. I really need some advice. I know I do want him bac because I love him like crazy I feel like a piece of me is missing. But I really don’t know what to do in this situation. I need help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 19, 2016 at 11:09 am

      Hi Stephanie,
      How have things been? Have you done no contact?

  10. Alexandra

    December 29, 2015 at 6:02 am

    I don’t know what to do HoNeslty I miss my EX boyfriend so much it hurts to see your first love with someone else . It wasn’t even a month before he left with his new girlfriend I know he still loves me I can’t lie I do miss him it’s been about 2 months of not contacting him I’m afraid he’ll not come back to me . But I can’t give up on what we had I need advice on how to stay cool about it and get him back

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 16, 2016 at 10:57 pm

      Well 2 months of NC is a bit long.

      It might be time for you to finally reach out and contact him. You want to work on preparing a text together?

  11. Tina

    December 29, 2015 at 5:08 am

    Wow..How do I even begin, I was married for 14yrs, The last 7 we had talked about the D. I worked all of the time and it just so happened that their was a guy there that had just gone through a loss his girlfriend was killed in a Mva. He was a mess, He had been in an accident himself and had several back surgeries so he was on a lot of pain meds. He was extremely intelligent and thought he was capable of much more that what he was doing in my practice. So I stuck my neck out for him and helped him kick narcotics. In this process I fell in love with him he had lied to me about having money, cars ect…He had nothing. He had even made up such stories about health issues elaborate at that. He had some really bizarre behavior crazy at best…After everything I forgave him, Oh I forget this…When he became crazy he came to my home and my husband was still there and had no knowledge of us This guy ended up being arrested. I was a little afraid so I spoke with my office manager she in turn spoke with the Docs. and they let him go. That day he was told to vacate the office, he did but in the process he went around telling everyone that I got him fired and that I was a lying Whore. I ended up forgiving him, by the way he had a felony for growing pot. I felt sick inside because I had figured out I was in love with. We then started have a relationship….I believed he was my soulmate we were together for almost 9yrs. I helped him get a great job, his career back. We had a rough time of it, My brother had taken his own life so we decided to move up north but what a mistake that was so after 2 yrs of hell we moved back. We had been back 6 months and found out my dog( had a 4×4 inch) tumor that couldn’t be removed so I had to put him down….So I became more depressed…..I put weight on I felt so unattractive I never wanted him to touch me, I thought I was disgusting but he told me that he loved me no matter but I just kept on pushing him away. So back in February he stopped wearing his ring plus he had stated pushing me away. I went back up north for awhile and to my surprised he had started a grow house…said he was doing that for us. So I was livid of course. So needless to say he told me that he was no longer in love with that I wasn’t someone he wanted anymore…he told me I had ckd out of our relationship and that he had been seeing a therapist and the therapist helped him figure out that he didn’t love me. I believe he started the grow room to get some money to move out, so he could get a car of course he denied. He had spoke of girl at work and on more than one occasion. And come to find out this is the girl he has been getting counseling from. He kept saying he was sorry he hurt me. but get over it. He had gotten violent on more than 1 Occasion. The last time on my birthday, he said that he hated me and don’t come to his work place and don’t call him. Fyi my cars he had been using but had moved out to his moms but he still bullied me about using my truck. He had been using his moms car and she had docs appt and that he was going to use my truck no matter what and that he was at his breaking point. The cops had come to my home but everything was already (pot) gone. He had lied about so many things and he had said if he had someone he he never would parade her. Come to find out this is a girl he works with. Per my family he was a master con-artist he paid for nothing my family took care of everything. But the last month of him being here he became so hateful. He left here a huge mess for me to take of. He was getting constant twxt msgs but his phone was locked and upside down always. So the fact he is with someone else and I should hate him but I don’t I feel a lot of this is my fault…. I did ck out on everything in regards to ur relationship…..But for him to lie about everything is crazy..oh and by the way I found her bra and underwear here in my house and he still denied he said I was crazy. The sick thing is I still love him and we also were soulmates. Oh I didn’t mention he was 18yrs younger. He is like an old soul and I am a young soul, He has had a hip replacement and needs the other one done. so he is not your typical 33 year old. And because he had this replacement he didn’t want to go back on narcs. so he smoke pot morning noon and night. I had asked him to stop because he acted like a totally different person. But he ignored me. so here I am devastated…..after everything I still helped him and love him and lost myself in the process. now here I am devastated and in disbelief. The last time I saw him was 11-17 he did txt me wishing me a happy thanksgiving but I haven’t heard from him to date. I actually sent him a txt from my friends phone and asked him to put a change of address in as well letting him know that a mutual friend passed away . Plus I wished him and his girlfriend( Gave her name) a happy new year and spoke of a memory that we had together and that i made me laugh. He actually txt back ( who is the please?) Wth? When I tell u we had something special we did! But I did push him away. Now I really am asking is their a chance??

    Hopeless and sick inside,
    Tina ps I can’t get them out of my mind, and I miss him soon much.

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 16, 2016 at 10:55 pm

      I really think you should read my latest article.

      There is a lot of incredible insight there that I think will match your situation: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/my-ex-boyfriend-dumped-me-for-another-girl-what-can-i-do/

  12. Nic

    December 28, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Hi, I’ve been with my ex for 11 years 2 years ago I found out he cheated numerous times whilst I was at work and I moved out of our family home with my son, after a month we worked it out went out then found out he’s constantly been sleeping around again, we tried again and now I’m pregnant we split up 2 weeks ago after finding out he’s in a relationship with a girl half his age, I’m stuck on what to do purely casue it’s sad I still love him and desperately want my family but now he’s told me not to contact him regarding his new baby and he loves her instead
    I’m broken
    Help

  13. Jamie

    December 21, 2015 at 4:57 am

    My ex and I were together for over 3 years. We had a happy relationship with a few bumps here and there, but we were solid. I had an underlying feeling to be independent and explore and felt guilty about it. I broke it off with him 10 months ago (March) because I wanted to work on myself. It was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. For me– I saw it as a break, he saw it as a breakup.

    I regretted my decision a few weeks after, missed him so much, and went back to him to offer my love/friendship, but at this point, he told me he needed time and space and that he didn’t want to get back into the codependent relationship we had together. He did tell me that if/when I feel 100% about getting back into a relationship with him, then I should reach out.

    I wanted to give him space and to figure out what I wanted as well, so we didn’t talk for 3 months and then we had lunch in June. It was the first time I saw in months, so many emotions came running back but I didn’t want to come off too strong, so I kept it platonic.

    Months go by and I’m trying to move on, but I’m constantly missing him. We would chat online here and there, but his responses were always short and dismissive. I later find out there is another girl in the picture (through social media.) I keep it cool and still remain backed off, until a couple of months ago (Oct), I decided that I’m 100% ready to be in a committed relationship with him again. I reached out to him but he seemed confused/uninterested.

    Knowing him, he keeps his feelings locked up and pushed aside. I know I really hurt him when I broke up with him and I think he’s afraid to work on us again. I’m also pretty sure he’s dating someone new, so that’s definitely not in my favor. I’ve done some exploration, got pass the jealousy/anger of the new girl, and analyzed myself, the past relationship, etc., and at the end, I still want to be with him. I don’t think this is just me wanting to get back with him because I feel lonely or I want what I can’t have. I really love him.

    I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to seem invasive, but I also want him to know that a lot has changed since we broke up and that I believe that we can form a healthy relationship again. I miss him almost everyday, but unfortunately, he has told me as time passes, he thinks about us less and less. How can I regain his trust and love if he seems lukewarm? It takes him a long time to get over things, so I know he still has feelings for me, but how can I resurface them?

  14. Kelly G

    December 20, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Dear Chris,
    My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me saying he didnt feel as much for me as I felt for him. This was about 2 months ago. I did go through a period of No contact for a month. We were texting friendly messages for a couple weeks now. Yesterday, he told me he had been dating a gal a few times and things are “progressing” and he was sorry he hadnt told me until now. He said he always will feel highly of him and that perhaps He may find out the grass isnt always greener.
    I told him I would back off to give him space to explore this. I have been working on myself as well since the breakup and will continue to do so.

    Does this sound like a good sign for me to try back with him in a couple months?

  15. Samantha

    December 20, 2015 at 2:59 am

    Hi Chris! I have tried to contact you several times, so if you could email me that would be great…
    My boyfriend and I were together for almost two years, and we were each other’s first real relationship (we started dating at 14, so it makes sense…) We broke up in August, so it’s been 4 months now, and I’m just starting to feel okay. I still want him back though, and I don’t really understand fully what happened during our breakup. I know we were growing apart, and I know I was pushing him to a point he found unbearable (though he could never tell me this while we were dating), but I really think he and I are such a great match for each other. I understand that I am 17 and have my whole life ahead of me, but I am able to assess my relationship outside of the rose-tinted goggles I have on when I see him. He made me so ridiculously happy, regardless of what we were doing, and I made him the same. We could be silly and romantic and fun and spontaneous all at the same time, and we were so incredible comfortable with each other. We changed each other (not by pushing, but simply by being around each other and growing) for the better, and he grew into so much more of a confident and happy person. He did hide stuff from me though, and his sister told me about a month ago that he was depressed for a while in the spring and didn’t tell me about any of it. He said so many things during our breakup about why it ended, and it took me so long to be okay with the world again. I did NC from right after the breakup to about when school started (2 weeks), but I was constantly finding pictures of us and looking at his social media (but he never really updates it so there was not much to show). I haven’t contacted him more than twice since we broke up, and we only really had one conversation. He’s not a bad person, but he just lost interest in working on us I guess… I kept telling myself that I would keep improving and I wouldn’t contact him until I felt better about myself, but he got close with another girl two months after we broke up so I never got that chance. I don’t feel like I can contact him now, and he is very clearly SO happy without me. I want him to be happy with me, and I think it’s possible that we can make it work and honestly end up together. Why is it one-sided? How could he have given up on me, and how can I get that back now or down the line? I know I have my whole life to find someone else, but I truly think we are such a good fit for each other. Please help!

    1. Samantha

      December 31, 2015 at 1:10 am

      Update: He has been dating said other girl for almost two months, and she has an incredibly active social platform with him (I try not to check often but…) I can’t help feeling that it is pointless, and he had truly moved on by the time we broke up. I think it is possible that he felt I was nagging him because he started to be less and less available to me, as what happens when relationships end, but I don’t know any of the full reasons behind our breakup. I fear I will have to see them together for the rest of our senior year, and I can’t shake the feeling that we just could have made it work if if if… etc. I am trying to move on and think about the fact that they will probably break up at some point and we can maybe reconnect after college but I really don’t want to think like that at all, and I don’t want that to be my backbone. He is an incredible person, and I do still want to see myself end up with him, but I would love it if you could help me.

  16. Kel

    December 19, 2015 at 2:51 am

    My ex broke up with me in a blink of an eye. We were 6 years together he had 2 girls, I have 2 girls and a 3 year old son together and im currently 4 months pregnant. I confronted him on him not watch our son and making our children stay up all hours of the night because he was playing magic so he says. On Nov. 16 He blows up and walks out he said he went to a friends house to cool off he probably was with the girl he is with now. I work 3 rd shift and he would come home exactly 5 min before i leave to work and then in the morning go to work so we barely seen each other he made it that way i was blinded. He tells me that he never loved me that he used me to watch his girls now they are 18 and 16. He decided to text me on Nov 18 that he no longer can continue a relationship with me. I kept asking him to come home and talk about it we have a big family and i was willing to try. So he tells me he is willing to fix our relationship only 2 days later i bring it up and he says its in the past he knows its not going to work out he did not even try. I even mentioned several times if there was another lady and he would ignore my question. He said he based it on how i was and that he wasn’t happy when i got pregnant with our son. He threaten multiple times to kick me and my children out and took the car away because it was in his name. So i decided to move out i could not take it. He told his daughter it was her fault that she told her mom that me and him were no longer together because he had placement and he did not want to loose her to her mother. So he told his daughter that my kids and I now have to leave because it was her fault. Then he comes over and says i dont have to leave but if he had to move back in the house that he would make my life a living hell and that i would want to move out. I did nothing to this man all i did was love him and his girls. I left Dec. 1 and as i left he tells his 18 year old daughter that he is in love and she will be meeting his new girl sooner than later. I found out this is the same girl that gave him a ride home from work because they work together. She also was suppose to go to King Richards Faire in the same car with me and all of his friends. He also stated that our wedding was going to be a gamer theme to his friends and that no one is to copy us and one of the girls in the van said they did not like that girl who he is dating by the way i did not pick up on anything. The same girl decided not to go to King Richards. She previously cheated on her boyfriend before and my ex was cheated on by his last girlfriend before me. She knew about me and my family and still continued to pursue him and she had a boyfriend. I did everything for this man. I was honest and loyal. Now he doesn’t even contact his son to talk to him i have to text him to tell him that he can call to speak to him i will hand the phone over. I still love him it hurts the way he went about it all i never saw it coming.

  17. Natalie

    December 17, 2015 at 7:22 am

    Hey,
    So my first love and I have been broken up for almost 8 years. We were young(16-19) It was mostly my fault. He moved away and I found someone else and my bf didnt want me talking to him. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years now. I am trying to get out. niether one of us are happy. So anyway, my first love and i have maintained minimal contact and when we see eachother there is a crazy connection. The way he looks at me lets me know he feels something for me. He also lets me know that i hurt him. He has a hard shell and isnt very upfront with feelings. He now has child and is still seeing his daughters mother, although im not too sure how serious it is. I mean she does have his daughter so im sure that there will always be some kind of connection. he has made it clear as of recently that he doesnt approve of my boyfriend being here. I am in nursing school and i wont have my license back for a couple of months and I need to get my boyfriend out of here. Him and I both know that its not working, we are just stuck in an apartment together really. i truly tried for 7 years. I just want my first love back. I know he feels something and i hope he can trust me again.
    Sincerely, Hopelessly devoted.

  18. saumya

    December 16, 2015 at 5:45 am

    One guy proposed me before 1 year..
    but I did not have love on him… I didn’t contact him,after he proposed me.. he used to contact me once at month via text…3 months before he told me tat he have a girl friend.. she is not cute like me…. but he scolded me tat I’m having ego about my cuteness that’s y I avoided him.but I didn’t avoided for that reason.. he did the wait for me
    ..now I’m loving him very much even he is looking bad..I’m truly loving him..I expressed my love.but he didn’t fall for my love.. I wan to marry him.
    please advise me..please Mr.admin

  19. Naomi

    December 15, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    Hi Chris, I REALLY need your idea/advice on this. I have been dating this guy for about 4 months, then he broke up with me in mid July and to be honest after hearing out what he told his friends, and my friends I am not even really sure (confused) why he did. I began reading your articles, trying to get some information on how i could win him back. But especially the first month was very hard because I was still seeing him on parties of our friends, trips we planned with groups and I even got him to have lunch with me (one time). But especially the last time I saw him (at an amusementpark with some other friends) he was very distant and it hurt like hell to see him react like that towards me. After this day i decided to start the NCR. As time was passing by there hasn´t been a day I didn´t think about him. But after de 30 days I actually got really scared to contact him again afraid that my feelings would take the lead. But now 5 months later i see he recently started dating another girl. I feel heartbroken (again) am I too late to try and get him back?

  20. Lulu

    December 14, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    Well I’ve spent hours pouring through this site but I’m still a little stuck. My ex and I were together 5 years and have a 2 year old, though we never married. About 2.5 years ago, he got laid off and I became the classic “non-stop nag” you mention on your site. I know that I drove him away with this behavior and still have trouble thinking about how to balance love/appreciation without stifling down all my feelings. Anyway we’d been growing further and further apart and things blew up in April. I ended up having to stay living with him (and yes, I broke all the rules and we did have sex) until August. I moved out in August and slowly started limiting contact on my own. The last 2 weeks, I’d have almost no contact other than pickups and drop-offs, I started going to the gym, and trying to focus on myself more. Then he came over last week all depressed and I asked him what was up, he ended up telling me he slept with a 23 year old. It hit me really hard when I was starting to do a little better. I broke every single rule, I made out with him (no sex), got angry, cried, begged him to take me back, etc. We ended up kind of dragging that incident out a couple days and staying in touch. Last night he dropped off my child and told me point blank he was going to go see this girl (10pm at night …. more sex). I asked him not to go and he went anyway. SO, I’m not sure if I can redeem all the mistakes I’ve made. He told me this girl isn’t girlfriend material, but then started planning a dinner party with her and some of our old mutual friends. So I think I’m just coming off as pathetic and he’s telling me what I want to hear. I on’t know if the minimal contact rule will fix this. I’m beginning to start focusing on myself, but the moment that happens, he rubs this girl in my face. I’m stuck. I don’t know how to do minimal contact when all he wants to do is tell me about this girl and get a rise out of me.

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