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254 thoughts on “EBR 045: What To Do When An Ex Boyfriend Becomes Distant”

  1. Kayla

    May 25, 2016 at 2:18 am

    Hello, I am going to try to make this short as possible for the background. Basically, we are both very young him (18) and I am 20. This was our first serious relationship. I am completely in love with him and I truly believe he was (is) in love with me. Even his family thought so. We had a strange situation where we ended up living together in his parents house. Well, he drunkingly cheated on me twice and I forgave him because we are very open sexually. Not an open relationship but just open about those kind of things. He did this almost a year ago, I, about 3 weeks ago, did the same thing to him, drunkingly made out with a friend. He was devastated, of course, and told me to move out and such. He strung me along saying he still loves me and wants to get back with me in the future then a few days later said we should move on. Well, we are talking again “as friends” and things seem OK in person but he got really distant over texts tonight when i asked about our relationship and stupidly brought up our sex life. He said that he is really happy single but he does miss me sometimes and there isnt any other female in his life he just “wants to be single right now” And I can say with confidence that I know he loves me. Should I just initiate 30 day NC and go from there? We are on good terms right now and arent fighitng at least. I want him to come back to me I just don’t know how.

    Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2016 at 9:59 am

      Hi Kayla,

      try to build rapport instead and start improving yourself..don’t be too available but don’t do any jealousy moves and cut ties with the guy you kissed

  2. Bella

    May 24, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    Hi,
    my boyfriend dumped me about a month ago. He told me that it just wasn’t working and that he didn’t love me anymore. At first I tried to convince him into getting back with me and he told me to at least give me some time. We didn’t really talk that much except from some drunk texts where he would accuse me of being with someone new. I asked if he wanted to meet up with me and after he changed the date a few times we finally met up. At first we both talked about how happy we were without each other and everything but we later ended up talking about how we really felt and everything. On our way home we were very physically close with each other and he kissed my forehead and asked when we woulld meet again. Then all of a sudden he changed his mind and said he needed more time. We were supposed to meet yesterday but he cancelled saying he was really tired. He did however initiate a conversation and wanted to meet me some other time this week. We are seeing each other tomorrow. What should I do and what should i expect?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2016 at 8:38 am

      Hi Bella,

      did you see each other?

  3. Advice...

    May 24, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    Hi long story short…he broke up with me 8months ago because he didnt think I was the one. He wanted to stay friends and still hang out. I said I needed time to get over things but would hope we can be friends. I took a month for me and eventually got in touch wih him. He replied but thrn went distant and said he had realised beig friends wasnt going to be so easy so we both needed to move on. I left it while and tried to reach out again and again he did reply and we had a few brief exchanges for a few weeks and then he just started ignoring me completely. I now havent messaged him for 9 weeks and I havent heard anything from him. Is there any hope of even a friendship?

    1. Advice...

      May 30, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      Hi yes I have and I am really happy in my life now. I even see that in breaking up with me he taught me a frw things too and im much stronger for it. I do feel I have changed and for the better but I still think about him and miss him a lot.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 31, 2016 at 5:30 pm

      your message or reaction to his post has to be timely. Like if there is basketball season on, and he loves basketball, that’s a good conversation starter.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2016 at 7:02 am

      HI,

      Have you started to build a new life too? Meet new people and have new routine and have a make over?

  4. KD

    May 24, 2016 at 7:03 am

    Hi Chris and Amour,

    I could really use your help. My situation feels impossible at this point but maybe you can offer some insight. My ex boyfriend and I broke up last fall. I did NC started texting and after varying degrees of responses and no responses, we finally starting talking after 3 and 1/2 months of being broken up. Then we started hanging out at the end of January. We weren’t a couple but we were seeing each other weekly. This went on until the end of March. My ex boyfriend has cancer and decided in March to move two hours away to be closer to his family and to complete his treatment to be cancer free. But he said he still wanted us to hang out and see each other. It’s only a two hour drive after all. I saw him two days before he moved and everything was normal. We had a lot of fun together and he reiterated again that he wanted me to come visit and he wanted us to still see each other. But we made no set plans and we weren’t officially back together. I didn’t want to force anything since he was a moving and had a lot on his plate. So anyways, when we parted ways I thought we were cool. I said see you soon and he agreed. But then when I texted him the next day he responded, seemed annoyed and then suddenly disappeared on our conversation. After that I texted good luck with moving and he didn’t respond. Then a couple days later I wished him a happy birthday and no response. At this point I was so confused, as to why he wasn’t responding after I thought things were good between us. So I decided to do NC and not become a text gnat. I did NC for 21 days and texted him to see how he was doing and to talk about one his favorite band’s new song. And again he didn’t respond. I’m now back in NC, it’s been about 24 days since my last text that wasn’t answered. I’m not sure what more I can do at this point. It’s like he’s ghosted/disappeared on me without an explanation. What can I do? Just reach out one more time and then give up? I really want him back and it felt like we were on track and then he suddenly changed his mind when he moved… I’m heartbroken all over again.

    1. KD

      May 27, 2016 at 6:05 am

      Hi Amour,

      Yea I’ve only tried texting. I sent the last text about 3 weeks ago. We aren’t FB friends so it would be weird if I sent him a message. I guess I could try another text. How do I get him to stop ignoring me? Could Chris write an article about being ghosted?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2016 at 5:01 am

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2016 at 5:36 am

      Hi KD,

      Have you only tried in texting? what about online messaging? Does he update his social media status?

  5. Irene

    May 24, 2016 at 2:31 am

    Hi,
    My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. About a month ago he said he wanted a divorce, he hasn’t been happy for years, and things haven’t been improving, so he wanted out. He said he wasn’t in love with me anymore, he still cared about me, and i was his best friend. I cried and begged, and promised to change. He said he would need at least 10 days to go away and think about things. He told me i could Email him a few times while he’s gone, so i did. After 10 days he called and said he wasn’t able to make a decision yet, and couldn’t come home yet. I was crushed, but had to except. A few more weeks went by, he stopped by the house to take care of things. We talked a little bit. He said he was still at 95/5 percentage, 95% for divorce and 5% for giving it another chance. Then i had to go out town for a week, he took me to the airport , we emailed each other once while i was gone. When he picked me back up a week later, he told me he moved all his stuff out of the house. He said that would help him feel more at ease and free if he had all his stuff with him. I was ok with that. He was really impressed how i hendeled it, said that i matured a lot in the last month. But he was still at 95/5. He’s not sure how much longer it’s going to take him. He told me to stay positive but not to get my hopes up, whatever that means. We talk a little bit here and there, and it never seems to be enough time for us. He seems to be enjoying our conversations. He said it was unfortunate that we didn’t communicate this well in the last few years of our marriage. It’s been really hard on me. I have good days when i feel hopeful, and bad days when i feel so depressed and helpless. Today was a bad day. I actually sent him a not so nice email. He said was actually gonna come over to watch tv and talk for a little bit. But after he got mm email, he just stopped by briefly to fix a few things around the house. We talked for a little bit, i apologized, told him i was having one of those bad days. After he left, he called me and we talked some more. I hope i didn’t mess things up with that email. Not sure what i should do next. I can’t change his mind, i can’t make him love me again, i can’t make him miss me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    1. Jennifer Seiter

      May 27, 2016 at 3:45 am

      Hi Irene,

      I’m sorry your going through this. The best thing you can do at this time is to focus on yourself. I know it’s really tough after 10 years of being with someone but since he said he is 95% sure I’d recommend doing no contact for 30 days. It sounds to me like he’s playing head games with you. Since he already has his stuff moved out I’m assuming he’s not sleeping at your house anymore?

      During no contact become the best version of yourself. Get your hair done, nails done etc. Whatever makes you feel better too. Go get a massage. Go out with girl friends. Keep your mind off of him.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2016 at 3:44 am

      Hi Irene,

      Yup, you can’t control him. You can only control yourself. Start to be more active in having a new routine. Make him miss you. You’ve chased enough. Time to change his perspective of you.. He sees you as only waiting and hoping for him to get back. Time for him to realize you’re not going to wait forever.

  6. paola

    May 23, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    Hi! I have been reading your posts all day long, it made me feel better about going through the NC but i am not sure if it would work. I have been dating this guy for almost over a year, 1 month ago he told me that he was falling in love with me ,we were not boyfriend and girlfriend yet but we treated ourselves as if we were oficial. He introduced me to his family as his girlfriend although he never really asked me to be it. 3 weeks ago we went on our first trip together and he acted distant throughout the whole trip. When we got back in town we stopped talking for 2 days and then he texted me and told me that we should end things up because we “are so diferent” and that he isnt sure if we would “make it as a couple” but that he still wants me in his life and keep talking to me as a friend. I told him that i wanted to stop contact with him because i was not ready to be his friend. Its been 10 days since and we havent talked yet. It is so painful i just wanna text him that i miss him. I just cant understand how a month ago he told me he was falling in love with me and 10 days after that he just wants to end everything, we didnt even had a big fight or anything. Do you think its worth it trying to get him back or should i move on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2016 at 3:17 am

      Hi Paola,

      Try to do nc first, and then after it, decide if you still want to try.

  7. Grace

    May 23, 2016 at 2:20 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me about eight months ago. We have had very little contact since then (him saying happy birthday two months after breakup and me not responding, me seeing him from car on street three months after breakup and having awkward encounter, me texting him short but heartfelt text five months after breakup and him sending generic response i.e. I hope you are doing well I’m really happy for you etc.). My good friend goes to the same graduate school as him and told me that he saw him in the library a little over a month ago. They had a short conversation and the ex asked about me and said that the breakup has been hard on him (frustrating because he is the one that did it). Then he said “maybe one day me and Grace will get back together, if she ever forgives me.” I am very confused. He is not asking for any forgiveness or contacting me in any way to imply he is interested in me. I do not want to contact him because of my pride and because I am scared of being hurt/rejected again. I have been feeling hopeful since hearing this but I am afraid to feel hope because maybe it was just a lofty thought. I think maybe he is realizing that he did something wrong, but I don’t know what his intentions are. We are not Facebook friends, but I can see from a friend’s account that he has been deactivated for weeks (maybe this is because of grad school finals or just because feels like it, but also maybe because of being sad?). Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you.

    1. Grace

      May 23, 2016 at 3:47 am

      We were together for almost three years. We were long distance for ten out of the twelve months before he left.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 26, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      Hi Grace,

      if he has finals, it’s better to try after that so that it wouldn’t be a stressful time for him.. If you don’t aant to initiate, do you have any other form of connection that can help let it known to him that you’re open to talking?

  8. Taylor

    May 22, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    So I was dating a guy for over 4 years and it became long distance because of school. I started school and had a connection with a classmate, and things developed from there. I was stuck because I loved my ex and didn’t want to be the typical “break up” for another person, but I was really beginning to develop feelings for the new guy. The new guy knew I was with my ex but later asked me if we broke up, I lied and said yes. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. A few months later they both found out- and now it was time for me to pick. I wanted to be with the new guy but still wanted to be in contact with the old guy (against new guys wishes) because I still really cared about him and still felt loyal. I ended up seeing him and when new guy found out, old guy said we slept together. So now new guy, who I have a deep deep connection with is done, he says he can never trust me again. We had a lot of happy memories and I know he loved me deeply, and even said more and faster than anyone he’s ever met.. But that it didn’t matter because he feels like I cheated. He believes my ex’s word over mine, which sucks. I didn’t find this site before, but we have been in contact a few times on my wish, but he is strict on wanting a no contact mainly because he doesn’t want to give me hope that we will have a future. I want to somehow set the record straight and hope that he will someday give me another chance, but I’m at a loss for what the right thing to do is other than give him space. I think I lost him for good.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 26, 2016 at 11:17 am

      Hi Taylor,

      YOu can’t have them both. Even if you didn’t sleep with the old guy, it was still technically cheating. If you really want a chance with the new guy, you have to cut ties with the old guy.

  9. Amy

    May 21, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    Hi Chris/Amor

    So I did the 30 days nc then began talking to my ex again. Everything seemed to be okay even although I could tell he was a lot more subdued. But I then discovered he had began taking drugs, drinking a lot and smoking a lot, and he’s only 17! He phoned me about a week ago in a drunken state and 2:00 in the morning telling me how he really wants us to become friends again (after texting me that he “needed me”) and that he was getting help for his drinking and drugs but told me in the morning when he was sober that he didn’t remember any of it and I shouldn’t listen to him when he’s in that state. We continued talking and I then discovered he was having suicidal thoughts (just to make clear, when we were in a relationship, I knew he had a past of drinking heavily and suicidal thoughts, but both were completely absent during our relationship). And now, a few days ago, my friend told me that he had phoned his friend (who is my friend’s boyfriend) when he was on ecstasy and told him he never wanted to speak to me again. I confronted him about it that day and he didn’t confirm it but he certainly didn’t deny it. This has really scared me, I now believe I will never hear from him again. I will admit, I do want him back but DEFINETLY NOT while he is in this period of his life of drinking and drugs. I have started talking to another guy in an attempt to move on but my hear still belongs to my ex. I’m extremely confused right now and would appreciate any help…

    1. Amy

      May 31, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      Hi Amor

      I found out today that me ex has a new gf. I think it might’ve helped me realise that for right now, it’s best to move on and maybe try to get into contact with him again one day in the future, if I still feel the same way. As much as it hurts, it’s probably for the best at this time, but I still am quite confused about everything haha. Is it possible to rekindle much further down the road? Like after quite a few months of nc?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 31, 2016 at 9:16 pm

      It’s his loss. At that state, they are either a junkie couple, or the girl will really have a hard time with him.. There’s a chance but what’s more important is, if he deserves you, if he has changed after some time coz if not, it’s better to keep moving on.

    3. Amy

      May 26, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Yeah I plan to stay away from him for quite a while. I’m just extremely scared he’ll forget me, do you think I should try getting on better terms with him in a few months and then take it from there?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 29, 2016 at 2:35 pm

      yep, it will be like restart..just make sure he’s not like that anymore

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 26, 2016 at 5:44 am

      Hi Amy,

      yes, it’s better to stay away while he’s like that.. Don’t reward his actions by being friends

  10. Danny

    May 19, 2016 at 3:01 am

    After 30 days I saw him and we agreed to be friends. He said that he missed me a is happy to have me back in his life. Last time I saw him was two weeks ago he came to my place to have dinner. We were watching tv and he kissed me and we made out for a whlie. He left texted me later thanks for dinner. Last week after not hearing from him simce our last hang out ( 5 days before) i texted him. He replied right away telling me that he was going out of town for the weekend. Its been a week since we briefly texted and two since we hung out , he’s back in town and I have not heard from him. Am I the one who has to make plans to hang out after no contact all the time? Maybe he is distantant because we kissed and that left him confused.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 24, 2016 at 8:03 pm

      Hi Danny,

      nope, but I think you’re not getting it from him because there isn’t enough rapport and attraction built.

  11. Yessi

    May 18, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    Hi, i have been dating a guy for four months almost five and since the beggining he wanted a relationship, over the course of these months we grew very close and he he kept proposing that we begin a relationship, i kept turning him down because i wasnt sure of what i felt. Then i kept getting mad at him for putting other things before me and one day it built up and i told him i didnt want to see me anymore. He told me it didnt have to be that way but i insisted. Two days later i realized that i miss him and that have feelings for him. Not sure why im realizing it now, keep in mind he knew i never have been in a relationship. So this is all new to me. I have begged him a lot of times because i want him back and its only been a week. He just keeps telling me that he is fuguring everything out and needs to be single. He told me to stop contacting him and that he will whenever he is ready. He told me inwas scaring him, i then returned all the gifts he gave me and dumped them on his doorstep. I know we cant talk anymore, he was a great person and we both messed up. Bit how is it that he chased me for 5months and when im ready he says no??? What should i do???? Oh i also deleted him from social media and he is more active than ever on it.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 24, 2016 at 6:38 pm

      Hi Yessi,

      I think he got got confused because you don’t want a relationship but you demanded to be put first..

  12. Maria

    May 14, 2016 at 4:20 pm

    Hi i’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. We’ve known eachother since highschool and we belonged in the same group of friends. We had a great relationship until after a year we went on a break after a big fight but after a few months we were on good terms again. Recently he’s been busy with acting school and I got upset that he has kissing scenes with several women for their play and so I admitted to him that I made out with someone during our break, but it didn’t lead to sex or anything. He doesn’t seem to believe me and he’s so mad, he’s been so cold and distant. I apologized and went on no contact and a week later he became a text gnat, saying things like he hates me, he hates that he still thinks of me, part of him wants me back but he’s still so upset with me, so it got me thinking that we could be on good terms again if I visited him by surprise. He seemed happy to see me, but later on said hurtful things like he enjoyed making me feel bad and then later on said he loved me. I began visiting him at school and made him food, but then later on he became cold and distant again and said he doesn’t love me as much as he did before and that he doesn’t feel the need to make time for me. He said we’re going to talk and see eachother so that we could try again but it got postponed because he says he’s busy. I’m two days in no contact period again and i’m figuring out if breaking up with him will make him want me back or should i continue no contact in hopes that he’ll change his mind about the hurtful things he said? Please give me a game plan, Chris. I miss him so much. And i’m so confused with what to do.

    1. Maria

      May 18, 2016 at 4:52 pm

      but, should i contact him first? or should i wait for him? i haven’t heard from him for 5 days now… i feel like if i contact him first, he might think he won. he’s got such a big ego. i fear that if i wait for him to contact me, he might be over me already..

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 24, 2016 at 6:19 pm

      it’s ok ti initiate if it doesn’t go well.then do no contact

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2016 at 7:46 am

      Hi Maria,

      talk first before suddenly doing no contact.. if it doesn’t work out then tell him you need space to heal and to to think but dont mention for how long.. and then do 21 daya

  13. Tahni

    May 14, 2016 at 4:50 am

    Hi guys. I’m having a really hard time, dealing with hearing that my ex boyfriend is talking to a bunch of new girls. I’m currently in NC, day 4 only. Been together for 2 years, and broke up 3 weeks ago, but unfortunately we had to keep some contact because of the situation that I cannot say out in public. But I’m in day 4 of true NC. But hearing the news is killing me… do I still have a chance? Is this just him lashing out on how he feels about the break up? What do I do about it?? Please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2016 at 6:56 am

      Hi Tahni,

      keep being in your own progress and possting your activities and going out with friends.. set him aside for now and focus on you only.. make the most of nc to get to know yourself

  14. Kristen

    May 11, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    I purchased the texting bible and exback pro. I did a full 30 days no contact and then sent him a curious message. He responded right away. I ended it quickly but on a high note. I followed each rule and we were texting for over a week. He even sent some texts out of the blue. I tried a quick call and it went ok. I ended it on a high not as well. The next day I texted him something funny and no response. Then I waited a couple of days and tried again. I got a response but all of his texts are short now. It seems I’m lost again. What should I try next? Thanks for any help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2016 at 2:41 am

      Hi Kristen,

      sometimes it’s okay to rest… So, give it a rest.. it’s been days from this comment, if you haven’t texted him, try to send him a text tomorrow.

  15. Layla

    May 10, 2016 at 4:38 pm

    Hello there,

    Me and my ex boyfriend had been dating 3 and a half year. I was his first girlfriend. He losts his virginity with me.
    We had a fight and we broke up. After a month and a couple of days I text him and ask to talk about what happend because I still love him.
    We met and he told me that the last fight was so bad for him, he love me but he can’t anymore.
    He sad that he is not interested in gils right now, his working, and that both of us need someone in our lives to forget on each other.
    The day after, he dated with other gilr, and after only five days they end up together. I couldn’t believe. She is younger than me.
    I know that he never cheated on me, that’s for sure.
    Apparently he is so happy with her. I have his facebook password and I saw a conversation with her. He is doing his best to satisfy her, and he said that he cares about her.
    I am not reading that anymore, I just can’t. I have no right and I can’t handle with that, it kills me.
    Today is 21-st day that I haven’t see him, and 18-th day that I haven’t talked to him.
    I am doing this ‘NO CONTACT RULE’, but I am not sure that I am going to achieve anything.
    My birthday is on 15-th may. What if he text me like ‘happy birthday’..

    Can’t believe that my man is happy with another girl and so fast forgot me.
    What should I do?

    Thank you a lot.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 14, 2016 at 3:20 pm

      Hi Layla,

      if you weren’t active in improving yourself in this 18 days, you should restart count of no contact.. don’t reply if he greets you..

  16. Beggar

    May 10, 2016 at 11:40 am

    Hi,
    I just need to vent. He broke up with me in February and i still feel like crap. The timing for our relationship was very off since we both had a lot of stress at the time and somehow I continued to feel stressed even after all the stress factors were gone. I got needy and weird and eventually he couldn’t take it anymore, as it was hard enough even without my bullshit as we were long distance. We still talked afterwards but i kept begging and begging and never felt better at all. I realised it had to stop so i handled it in the worst way possible, by bullying him into blocking me. Not being able to talk to him helped a little, I could finally focus on myself, my life and my friends, but I still miss him horribly and feel so guilty about the way i acted during and after the relationship. I don’t think he’ll ever talk to me again and that is such a depressing thought. All I’d want is to hear him say he doesn’t hate me after all this. I’m sorry for this pathetic ramble but i just had to get it out somehow. Thanks for reading.

  17. Leddi

    May 9, 2016 at 1:59 am

    Hello, so my boyfriend and I have been broken up for exactly one month today. He broke up with me and told me that he wants to figure stuff out for himself and he can only do that if he is single. In the last months of our relationship i was in a depression, and he was super stressed so I stopped telling him my problems, and I know that by my not being myself and being sad and needy lead to the breakup. Also he gave me a list of things that he wanted us to work out but I obviously didn’t understand and I was depressed and was trying to be what he wanted me to be. Its really hard and the breakup was really hard too. He said that he still loved me and that he just wanted time for himself for a bit, to be single. The day after we broke up I texted him apologizing about everything that I knew was my fault. He said that he was at fault too because he had no backbone. But I still said it was my fault. Then he said he would talk to me so he could regain my trust and not be so stressed to talk to me, then when we scheduled a day he blew me off so I sent him a message saying how I felt and that I wish we could start over from scratch because I haven’t been myself, and I want him to have time to figure out his stuff too. So I said that we would talk in the summer. He responded and said that would be good to talk in the summer.
    Now I’ve been using this no contact to my advantage, but I’m going insane thinking that he is enjoying the single life and that since we said that we were going to talk in the summer that he already has his mind made up and that he will just tell me that he is happy being single and that he doesn’t need me right now. I put myself in a weak position, but I know that just because we said we would talk in the summer that it almost makes this month of no contact to not be helpful for him to miss me at all. I just love him so much and we were in a relationship for 1.5 years. We were each others best friends, I just got really needy of him because of my depression. I am so much better now and know that I don’t need a man to be happy, but that a relationship just adds to the happiness that someone already has by themselves. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should wait for him to contact me and then start another no contact from then? Or if I should even wait for him to contact me at all? I sort of feel like he won’t even contact me. But I don’t want to give in and contact him first either. I don’t know what to do here. Please let me know what you think!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 9, 2016 at 9:31 am

      Hi Leddi,

      I think you need to keep in mind that the talk in summer is a friendly talk, it’s not a continuation of your relationship..You need to set your expectations so that you won’t be confused when you talk again

  18. Questioning

    May 7, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    Hi
    I’ve been out of successful no contact for 2 weeks, and it was going so well. He was responsive, we were having the time of our lives texting and talking on the phone. I always cut conversations prematurely, I always was in control of the conversation. But suddenly, just two days ago, he grew cold. He accused me saying I’ve been playing games with him and I’m toying with him, and when I tried to ask what exactly I’m doing that’s bothering him, he refuse to tell me. I didn’t want to put up with this behavior anymore because this was prevalent in our past relationships, so I simply said I don’t wish to talk with him anymore until he decides he wants to tell me what problems he’s having with me. Now, I don’t know what will happen after this, but assuming he responds and apologizes, what should I do? Should I go back into NC for a week? How should I different talk to him?

    Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 9, 2016 at 1:51 am

      if he apologizes then accept it.. and then continue on to talk normally slowly.. like the tide theory in texting..

  19. Sarah

    May 7, 2016 at 9:23 am

    Hi, would appreciate if you could take a look at my short question. My situation is that I did not date the ex for very long – we were together for less than 2 months and I just ended it with him yesterday because I felt he was not entirely over his ex, and was not emotionally invested in our relationship. Basically I got frustrated with the lack of his mental presence despite my efforts (which were probably a bit over the top and gnat-like at times, in hindsight). Question is, I do want to give him some time to sort out his issue internally and maybe give this another try later. Given our very short relationship, should I still implement the 30 day NC rule or the shorter version (21)? Thanks! Sarah.

    1. Rose

      May 10, 2016 at 6:12 am

      My situation was pretty much exactly the same as Sarah’s above…only that I did 25 days of NC already and decided to text the ex yesterday with the “guess what happened to me” text…and at first he reacted super bitter and replied with “I guess you lost your phone”…then i went on anyway to continue the story and did have an ok exchange of a few texts. Then he asked me a question along the line of those texts but i fell asleep. Then I replied this morning but he’s read my texts and has not replied. Chris/Amor do you think we are off to an ok start?? Thanks!!!

    2. Sarah

      May 7, 2016 at 9:27 am

      A quick add – We parted on good terms. No drama no fights, and no deleting each other from social media. I proposed and he agreed.

      Thanks again.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 9, 2016 at 1:20 am

      Hi Sarah,

      try the 21 days first if at the end you feel you need to extend to 30 that’s ok.. Make the most of the 21 days and do massive improvements and be active in posting your activities.

  20. jan

    May 5, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Hey,
    My ex and I have broke up for close to 5 months now. We have been hanging out alot in uni (like having lunch, hitting the gym, studying together), but we havern’t been on a real date yet. I want to know how can I take this to the next level. Cuz he doesn’t seem to be interested in me romantically and have been really treating me like a platonic friend.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 8, 2016 at 4:26 am

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