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542 thoughts on “Common Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Kelsey

    November 4, 2016 at 9:01 am

    I was dating this guy for around 3 months though it moves pretty quickly, his doing. He seemed a little insecure at the start but it didn’t bother me. Things were going really well then about 2 months down the line I had a meltdown at him because I was having a rough time. We got over that and things were good. Then his dog got sick and he got very distant. I then got really worried and texted quite a lot because I hadn’t heard from him, called one night after texting 2/3 times & tried to force my presence on him when he didn’t want to see me. He eventually sent me a pretty blunt text and I was really upset but I see now I was being selfish and not thinking of how he felt. I was away for a couple of days and communication seemed to go back to normal. We saw each other the night I got home and everything was fine. Then 2 days later I blew up at him for not being able to see me. I apologised and stupidly said I understood if he didn’t want to be with me. He texted back saying that might be for the best. I begged over text & then showed up unannounced. He came round though and was fine. I was away again and we texted everyday I was away & made plans for when I got home.The day I was due home he texted to break up with me. I went into panic mode texting/calling etc. He answered texts but wouldn’t answer the phone. EventuAlly he did and I cried, begged, pleaded. He hung up but answered when I called back. Same thing repeated and i called back a few times to which he didn’t answer. I then sent 2 long texts that weren’t answered. A few hours later I sent another saying I wanted to call that night when I was calm. He initially said no then agreed. we talked on the phone for half an hour but went in circles. He said he hasn’t felt anything for me in a while which is difficult to believe given the way he acted when we were together and the things he said. I asked if it was down to my recent clingy behaviour and he said probably. I suggested slowing things down because maybe it had got too intense too fast. He almost came round to that idea then changed his mind. Texted that night to apologise for trying to change his mind, he said he hoped I was okay. Next day I texted back to say I would be but I needed to remove him from fb for a while because it was too difficult to see. He said he was deactivating it for a bit & was sad about the situation and what he’d done to me. Few hours later I realised I was blocked on instagram and texted to ask why. he answered, I texted back & he answered again but nothing else when I said I’d appreciate an in person conversation. 2 days later I texted again asking to meet (sent 2 texts, 1 asking & 1 apologising for asking again) his response was pretty angry. I texted back, got another angry response then said nothing. 4 days later I caved and texted him again to apologise for how I acted during the break up. He said there was no need to apologise and he was glad I was feeling better. I said there was because I had been clingy & needy & turned into a person I didn’t recognise. No answer. Next day I texted again asking if he’d be willing to talk, he asked what about. I said just to clear the air between us and no reply. I removed him from snapchat that night & facebook which he’d deactivated 3 days before. Been nc since and on day 5. I feel like I’ve completely sabotaged my chances with him. It was only a short term relationship so it’s probably unlikely he’s going to forget all this bad and remember the good. I’ve been working on my neediness etc. But I feel like it’s maybe not possible to salvage this?

    1. Kelsey

      November 7, 2016 at 6:14 pm

      Even if it was only a short relationship? Worried about him being over me after 45 days and having no chance.

      Sorry for all these questions just trying to figure this out!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 9, 2016 at 1:51 am

      it’s ok, I understand! Actually the more common approach is to do 30 days but because you begged and chased him, it would be better to do 45 days..

    3. Kelsey

      November 6, 2016 at 8:00 pm

      I know continuing to chase will harm my chances more. I’m continuing with nc and trying to work on myself. I never thought I was a clingy person and I’m actually shocked at my own behaviour recently. Would you recommened 30 days nc?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 7, 2016 at 4:50 pm

      actually it would be better if you do 45 days

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 6, 2016 at 11:04 am

      Hi Kelsey,

      There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but rught now, continuing to chase him will just harm your chances more.. So, it’s like you have no choice but to step back.. Instead of worrying if it can help the situation, focus in improving yourself because there’s no harm in healing and improving yourself

  2. morgan

    November 3, 2016 at 7:08 am

    Hi Amor,
    I just want another point of view actually. I would really appreciate it.

    After three years, my bf and I got separated. I moved in to a new place. And since he isnt decided to move with me, for practical reasons, I stopped our communication and the relationship.

    So, he had another gf. But he broke up with her. This was after our relationship. Now its two years since we separated.

    And so after two years, he texted me again. And he said he is willing to move in with me and he still loves me.
    I jokingly said that I’ll marry him once he is with me in my place. And now he is willing to get in here with me.

    How can I know if he is very much willing? I think Im impatient and too expecting that things happen right away.

    Should I believe him? He has the tendencies to say a lot but not do anything. We already had NC for two years.. 🙂

    During the two years, I already taught myself not to expect a lot from him, not to be clingy and needy and to forget about him. But after that communication, all of it just shattered. I missed him again. I want him again.

    What to do?

    Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 5, 2016 at 12:52 am

      Hi Morgan,

      you said it yourself, he has a tendency to just and not do and that you’re impatient.. You’re moving too fast now.. If he really wants you back, why not start with a catch up meet first?

  3. Liv

    September 30, 2016 at 1:02 pm

    my ex broke up with me becasue I was too insecure, always jealous and controlling, telling him what to do, stressing him ( I know…) and 5 weeks ago he broke up with me and said he lost all his feelings. I did all the common mistakes begging, crying, saying stuff like my life is over…. totally desperate. But after two weeks I got back on track, realized that I need to find happiness inside me, that I don’t depend in him, wich I’ve done succesfully. OF course I still love him and believe in us because he truly is a great person and the thing between us was/is real. So since 10 days he is different, often sad, depressed or moody he even admitted that he feels it again for me but he can’t go back because he doesn’t believe my changes will stay on longterm even if he saw that I changed. He is still in that hamster wheel of bad past experience. But I sincerely changed because I realized I had to change for myself, not for him. And I am really happy now beside everything with him. I feel strong and I believe in us and I simply wanna know is there anything I can do to give him more trust and confidence about us? And yes I did the no contact rule (obvs) but I couldn’t ignore him completely because we work together (and LivED together) so I have to talk to him but I never start and I am always brief and polite nothing more. What shall I do next? I want things to work out because he feels it again and we are really great when we don’t fight so it is definitely possible. Please give me some advice. Best Liv x

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 1, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      Hi Liv,

      You still live and work together? That’s good that you already started changing after 10 days. But it’s just been 10 days, you need to keep doing that. You need to keep improving. Genuine change can only be proven through time.

  4. Anonymous

    September 19, 2016 at 9:26 am

    Me and my bf have relation for 4 year . Initially we were happy together and loved each other. But after two year his parents rejected our relation and said bad thing to him . That time he broke up with me though he doesn’t want that but he did because he was afraid of his parents. That was 1 st time we breakup and some how I begged him back in my life…but from that time he said that we can’t be together and I keep saying that we ll find some solution but every time he said its impossible. After that we fought again over this issue few times and but some how I keep him with me. We really loved each other and physically very close. From starting of 3rd year I noticed some change in him towards me he keep him distant also that time we have long distance relationship. Due to which if start feeling really negative and depressed also I’m really introvert and have some issues in socially awkwardness.He sense this negatively and at first he try to take me out of it by explaining me ..I also understand that I have issues with me and I need to change but at the same time he becoming distant from me emotionally and that feelings …push me into more negative feeling .. even though I loved him a lot and tried to be a open up socially but this feeling of getting away from him pushed me into depression. I told me if you stayed with me we will try to do find some solution to make his parents agree but everything time he said it is impossible. That’s hurt. Eventually from 4-5 months before he was very busy and stop Massageing and call every time I only doing…that hurts me more. So I tried to communicate with him about my issues and he said okay..I’ll do…but nothing changed.

    3 weeks before I get to much frustrated with is distant behaviour and I fought with him…he again said we can’t be together forever. This makes me hurt and I said ‘you boys always ready to sleep with girls but when commitment time come you guys find 1000 resons..I always been there for you but when I need you are not…you ll get everything in life but I’ll not because I want you and you are leaving me’. At this he said he hates me and my thinking..and no person can be a goal in life and he tried to change me make me confident but I never understand…also he said he is a robot with no feeling and he doesnt love me anymore and he neither love him self.
    And he breakup with me.

    After that I called him …said sorry ..plead and cried but he he keep saying he hates me and then he refused to talk and after that blocked me. Since three weeks I’m trying to say sorry and asking for one last chance even get angry and blame but he is not replying..I mailed fb msg calling from different no…but he is not talking at all……im very depressed and confused…I really love him a lot and I want him back my life… not only for me but also to make him strong against his parents ( he’s so afraid of them and had serious issues with his father (conservative).). I feel the responsibility to do that like he was tackling with my problems…..but now he is breakup I m lost I don’t know what to do where to go…no body is there to help us….. please help to get him back and love me unconditionally…like he used to love before problem arises…he
    Was head over heels in love with me and used to say I’m very understanding. Then why with time he became distant…im confused….I promised him that I’ll try my best to change and remove this negativity but he keep giving me this negativity reinforcement by being distant… please help us to be together

    1. Anonymous

      September 21, 2016 at 4:51 pm

      Im 28 and he is 26…Do you think I have a chance to get him..I really love him…I started NC after 1 week of breakup …I did that for 1 week but terribly failed after 7 days and became very depressed…then i again start contacting him for 1 week …now since monday I haven’t contacted him…… I m very depressed right now feel like suicide … please help me ….can I get him in my life..

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 23, 2016 at 9:19 am

      If you really want to increase chances, put yourself first. If you want him to be attracted to you again, love yourself first. Chasing will not help you. This is the most help that we can give, you have to help yourself because you’re the only one that can do that. Choosing to stay depressed and not acting upon healing yourself, will not make the situation better.
      You can do this! It’s a process, so take it slow. This is the first step to know yourself.
      Check this:
      EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant
      The Ungettable Girl

    3. Anonymous

      September 21, 2016 at 8:18 am

      Please reply to my problem and give solution

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 21, 2016 at 1:26 pm

      Hi Anonymous,

      how old are you both? dont do the mistakes again.. We cant guarantee that no contact will work but you have to start doing no contact. Work towards being emotionally independent and stop begging and chasing him.. Heal and improve yourself. Do 45 days of no contact before reinitiating contact. Focus in having your own life

  5. mallishka

    September 10, 2016 at 3:28 am

    Hi. I and my boyfriend had breakup. But somehow patchup was done on the first day he kissed me. I m now wondering do he just wants sex? Or has true feelings

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 12, 2016 at 6:58 am

      Hi Mallishka,

      Take it slow.. Observe his actions every time he messages you or visits. Don’t jump into conclusions

  6. Brenda

    September 7, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    Hello, me and my 4 yrs Boyfriend had a break up 2 weeks ago.. It is because he became so cold and he doesn’t even say I love you anymore and doesn’t chat or message me. So I asked him whats wrong… then he told me that he doesn’t love me anymore but he never told me because he tried to get that feeling back.. and he think it might work out again but I said that we should stop it now (Im the one who told him to break up). And I feel sad about it.

    So I tried the NC thing… But he keeps on messaging me on facebook and sometimes I tried to reply but only a few reply. And then he said that “Im sorry if I disturb you, dont worry I wont disturb you anymore”…. the problem is it hits me back… because thats what I felt before… so I told him that “at least you know how I felt every time you ignore my message.” and “I didnt force you to keep on messaging me”. After that I felt sorry for him and after an hr I said sorry.

    Then his sister told me something… she said she thinks his brother got a new lover and she told about something about a picture about the 2 of them…. but I never saw that picture… I got mad and said another MEAN things to my ex…

    and he and his sister got a fight because he knew that his sister told me something again. And He said I should never believe on what other people said to me and thats one of the reason why we broke up too because he got tired.

    Maybe it was my mistake? making it worse? I dont know what to do… I just told them that I was sorry because of me the 2 of them fight….and I regret it. So I stop using social media for now. I deactivated my acc.

    Hope I can get a reply.. Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 8, 2016 at 2:29 pm

      HI Brenda,

      I think you should restart no contact and stick to the 30 days. Use it to heal and improve

  7. Rosie

    September 3, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    Hi there,
    My fiance and boyfriend of 4 years and I moved across the country together and almost immediately when we got here we broke up. I’m living in an efficiency and he’s with his sister. I have apologized for what I said and desperately want him back in my life. It’s been over 3 weeks, so we met up and he said that he wanted me back in his life. He said “I’ll never leave you again, I want to be with you forever and I want to marry you. I love you.” now two days after that he broke up with me. What can I do? I feel so confused and hurt. Please help me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 4, 2016 at 8:34 pm

      Hi Rosie,

      Try to do the no contact and avoid the mistakes mentioned above.

  8. Janine

    August 26, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for around 7 months and we broke up about 3 weeks ago now. It’s because he wants to move to a different country but he doesn’t know where and doesn’t actually have a real plan. Our relationship was great – we got on so well, were really happy and everything. He said he really likes me and he thinks i’m smart and beautiful and driven and he seemed really upset to be ending the relationship but he feels like long distance wouldn’t work because it hasn’t for him in the past. I love him so much and we have an amazing connection. There’s mutual love and care between us and i’m so confused as to why he was so quick to end things when he doesn’t even have a real plan – although he plans to leave when his lease ends so i’m reluctant to do NC as I feel like it’s just wasting time we could be spending together? He’s communicative for the most part but he seems very set in his decision and is reluctant to meet up because he thinks it will be too hard. Do you have any advice on how I can change his mind? I really must stress he has no destination or a real plan and even if he does move I would want to do a LDR. Even if that doesn’t work out I just want to spend the last few months we potentially have left together as it’s killing me to see a functional and happy relationship end on such a sad note. Please help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 30, 2016 at 10:50 am

      Hi Janine,

      hmm.. I just want to clear this out first. You said you don’t want to start nc now because it could be time you can still use to be with him but he’s not willing to meet up with you these days?

  9. Alexa

    July 9, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    Hi Amor,

    I was in a pretty serious relationship with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years before he broke up with me. During the break up talk I cried and begged him for an hour with him saying no each time. He finally left after an hour of this and I haven’t spoken to him since. I feel so pathetic for that now.

    A few weeks before the break up we went holiday. Everything was perfect and he even asked me to move in with him next year. He broke up with me around 3 weeks after saying that our fighting stresses him out too much (we get into pretty heated arguments about very petty and silly things) and he can’t be stressed out since he has to focus on becoming a professional runner. He said he doesn’t seem like it’s worth it anymore, doesn’t feel the same and does not want to be in a relationship for a long time. He has also not been the most attentive boyfriend and expressed to me that I deserve someone better, someone who will give me everything I want. (This seemed like a slap in the face to me, it’s like saying he no longer loves me) A similar break up a year ago but he ended up coming back to me after 9 days of NC.

    I still believe that he is the love of my life, we have had a very good 3 years together even with the ups and downs. I have learnt from my mistakes and want him back. Is this situation irreconcilable and should I move on? I don’t want to be hurt again or convince myself that I can get him back when it’s a lost cause.


    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2016 at 6:24 pm

      Hi alexa,

      proper nc is actually being active.. it’s not just stopping to talk to him.. it’s more of putting yourself first and improving yourself to help you heal.. do that first and then decide on what you want to do

  10. Yorkie

    July 2, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    My BF of 5 months and I took a trip to Paris. I got frustrated a couple times and cried. He thinks I was throwing a temper tantrum and being manipulative. I tried to explain where I was coming from. He kept seeing it as my character flaw so I brought up that he isn’t perfect either and we could work to understand each other. I think I hurt his feelings by pointing out his flaws. I’ve tried to apologize but I just make it worse because he’s so cold and I panick and get emotional but I’ve improved and not cried as easily. I have also started counseling for the emotions. I wanted to talk to him and show him I’m emotionally stable and I just got overwhelmed but now he won’t respond to my texts. Will the no contact help if he doesn’t have empathy? Is it just because he is still angry?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 4, 2016 at 2:30 pm

      hi Yorkie,
      maybe he’s just angry.. but you need to assess if you were clingy and needy too then he probably got annoyed..

      when you do nc, treat it as a start on having your own life and independence

  11. Jennifer

    June 28, 2016 at 9:12 pm


    Me and my ex only split about 3 weeks ago. Now my situation is complicated because I am also pregnant with his baby and we live together in the same household. Anywayd, he was really pissed at first and then I made the mistake of writing him a letter but I don’t think it was all that bad because I wasn’t confessing my love for him or begging him to take me back I was simply telling him what his faults were and if I had to be the one to say it them I would. So we went on a while not speaking to each other and keeping our distance. So this past weekend he reached out to me and contacted me first. Anyways to make a long story short we are I guess friends with benefits because he said he needs to get his mind right and he needs time to himself but I sleep in the room with him, we see each other everyday and we have had sex. He basically said that we don’t have to put a label on it or be in a relationship right now and that all he asks if or when he’s in a bad mood to just leave him be in his thoughts. This is all very confusing to me and I don’t know what to do. I’m in a very hard situation and I’ve never in my life felt the way I do about him. I don’t know what to do or what he means.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2016 at 3:10 pm

      Hi Jennifer,

      yuou have to stop sleeping with him.. and follow Chris’ advice here: EBR 038: Pregnancy & Ex Boyfriends

  12. LAURA

    May 2, 2016 at 4:33 am

    Hey there, I need some help in figuring out what to do…
    my boyfriend and I broke up almost a month ago. He wanted a break before that and just wanted some space to think… but I guess I texted him during the break and that might have prompted him to break up with me. I miss him, and I think he misses me too but he has a high ego and wouldn’t admit such a thing.
    He’s into cute, cheesy things and I was wondering if it would be good if I drove up to see him and talk to him in person. Regardless of how the ending turns out (negative or positive), I would like to see if there’s any reason I should keep holding on. I’ve reflected and accepted the break up and the reasons why, but I think we have potential in starting over. I’ve been doing well with keeping busy and what not, but I want to know if he feels the same way about me or if I should just cut him off of all social media. Either way would give me a step in moving forward, and that’s what I want.

    1. LAURA

      May 22, 2016 at 11:41 pm

      Hey Amor,
      Thank you for responding to me. I’m going back and forth with this issue. There’s a huge part of me that wants him back, and if he did come back we would need to start over. I did remove him off of some social media because the things he posted hurt me and makes me think he’s found someone else. Maybe it’s a rebound thing, who knows. I’ve been pretty good about this issue because I don’t believe in rebounds. Anyway, we’ve texted a few times, mainly because we had a few school things to discuss. I think he does get affected by seeing my posts on snapchat and what not, and while I still love him, I’m trying to focus on the things in my life and maybe we’ll be good for each other in the future? Is there any way of knowing if someone can come back after awhile or does the whole break up advice only work immediately after the break up.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 26, 2016 at 12:01 pm

      well, actions always say more. If he really wants to get back with you, he would show it by being more affectionate and considerate of your feelings.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2016 at 8:24 am

      it’s ok as long as you find this reply.. but I’ll reply to your original post too, so if you want to reply from there, it would be better.

      Anyways, don’t chase him.. if you decide to do no contact, don’t remove him from social media.. He has to see your progress so, he will miss you more.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2016 at 12:31 pm

      Hi Laura,

      if upon knowing him, you think that’s best go ahead.. the point is, if when it doesn’t work out, at least you tried right?

  13. Mik

    May 2, 2016 at 1:32 am

    Hi. So my ex and I got back together a few months ago.
    But then I got drunk at my girlfriends house and had stupidly phoned him saying I was at some randoms house and I brought up stupid stuff, like my ex’s. I was trying to get him mad and well it worked. The reason for this is because he sucks at texting me. Sometimes he won’t text me for hours, even days. Sometimes he’ll kill a convo with ‘lol.’
    I texted him the next day saying how unbelievably sorry I was and I loved him and I wanted to make it all okay again. He didn’t text me at all, then on a sunday evening he messaged me back saying he knew I was sorry, he loves me too, he just needed time to think. He brought up the ex I had gone out with previous before meeting him and said he felt like a second choice which isnt true.
    Of course I was dumb and kept sending him huge paragraphs on how sorry I still was and whatnot. He’ll look at them, but won’t ever reply. Im going to do the no contact rule. But it gets really hard since I feel so bleh and I don’t wanna loose him again. Any advice?

    1. LAURA

      May 15, 2016 at 11:55 pm

      I meant to respond to my own post, but I guess I responded to a different one! Sorry!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2016 at 8:23 am

      it’s ok as long as you find this reply.. but I’ll reply to your original post too, so if you want to reply from there, it would be better.

      Anyways, don’t chase him.. if you decide to do no contact, don’t remove him from social media.. He has to see your progress so, he will miss you more.

    3. LAURA

      May 15, 2016 at 11:54 pm

      Update: So he actually came down to the city for some business and I asked if we could meet. I didn’t get to tell him anything about how I felt, but it seemed so natural for us to talk. We caught up talking for a hour or 2 about everything that’s happened in our lives. It felt really nice and I told him that I wanted to see if we could be friends (he’s wanted to be friends since the break up). At first it seemed like we could, but now I’m still thinking about him. We communicate about a class we have together on some assignments but I really am confused. I want him back, and if he did come back we’d have to work on things before we date… He’s gonna be moving down here in a few months. People tell me all of the time that I’m too good for him, but he’s the one I want.
      I think he misses me, and I want him to come back. Some people have told me to remove him off of social media so that he won’t know what’s going on in my life and starts to really miss me, but I do like to know what’s going on in his life. Also, I wonder if he wants me to chase him? I’m scared to get hurt.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2016 at 10:10 am

      Hi MIk,

      just continue with nc.. and make sure to be active in improving yourself during it and focusing on yourself only.

  14. Ly

    May 1, 2016 at 11:07 pm

    In my one year and four month relationship there was a lot of on and offs (5 to be exact). We were both new at a relationship strongly lacked communication. Two weeks ago he broke up with me because he said he didn’t see a future with me. Last weekend I saw him for closure and he told me it was cause we fought a lot, we weren’t compatible. But he admitted to still having feelings to me but he wants to move on. I asked him if there will ever be a us again and he said never. I really want to give it one last try and is very sad and disappointed with the whole thing. I can’t stop thinking about the situation. I want to make it work again but i know right now isn’t the right time. Will he come back? What should I do?

    1. Ly

      May 8, 2016 at 7:53 pm

      I kind of went through his social media accounts and found out he recently has been talking to a new girl. I am completely hurt and devastated by it but now I feel there is nothing for me to hold on to for the relationship anymore.

    2. Ly

      May 4, 2016 at 7:16 pm

      Okay! These past few days, I have been focusing on myself but in that month do you think he will find someone new or completely move on?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 8, 2016 at 2:19 am

      it takes 66 days to make or break a habit, that also means the habit of thinking about you. If he has moved on in a month, that means he has started moving on before you even did nc.. and if he finds another girl, she would probably be a rebound.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 3, 2016 at 9:42 am

      Hi ly,

      because he’s tried.. you have to give each other a break.. do nc as last chance.. set him aside for month.. and don’t tell him you’re doing it for him.. just set him aside for a month and focus on improving yourself.

  15. Robina

    April 27, 2016 at 8:54 am

    Help! I made a mistake in the process of trying to get my ex back and need advice on what to do next.

    I did no contact for 30 days, got back in touch with my ex, everything was going very well – we texted and started to talk on the phone for about 2-3 weeks, he said he missed me a lot. I got to the point of talking about the reasons the relationship ended and he said that he was not in the right place in his life when he got with me, and wasn’t sure I was right for him. He still isn’t sure if it was about timing or about compatibility, but he always had a lot of respect for me. We had some amazing conversations, he even started initiating contact, and I thought I was on the right track to re-attracting him.

    During one of these conversations – he brought up how he was applying for jobs he hates. I then, in a friendly way brought up some advice on looking at why he hated those jobs – and that started a fight, because he got confused and felt very judged. I think I stepped on his boundaries because during our relationship we used to get into arguments as a result of anxiety, high emotions, etc. I apologised for offending him over text, but he denied having any problems, and then I found out he unfriended me on Facebook.

    Is there any hope left? What should I do? I know Chris advises giving it time, but how much time? Did I totally screw it up?

    1. Robina

      April 27, 2016 at 12:45 pm

      Thanks for your reply Amor. That is very helpful. In that case, should I text again if she hasn’t replied after a week? Or should I wait for her to text me?
      And do you think unfriending me on Facebook was a sign that she is done with me?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 4:55 am

      try to initiate a text.. it’s not a good sign that she unfriended you. it may be because she’s upset but in a way that’s good because that means she’s still affected and trying not to be..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 27, 2016 at 9:47 am

      HI Robina,

      you already apologized so that’s good. Maybe a week is enough for him to cool off.

  16. Macy window

    April 7, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Now.. I have a weird one. Weirder than usual. My ex, wants to achieve music and push him self in life which is awesome but he then thinks that a girlfriend is toooo much and will stop him from doing that. We was “friends” a year before we got together and if anything i will love to go back to that, I love him and want him in my life. Now it’s been 1 and a half months and I have been a text gnat and have been panicky wanting explanation text gnat, the other night I called him 15 times because I started to panic. I haven’t spoke to him since and we are on good terms I’m just embarrassed. What’s hard is his mum keeps texting and calling me telling me to wait around and that we are perfect for eachother. I want it just to between me and my ex tho and when I talk to him I feel like I’m talking to an audience of him and his family. What do I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 9, 2016 at 5:21 am

      Hi Macy,

      thank his mom and then stop or minimize texting her..and then do active no contact..take this time for yourself.. have your own life and yiur own world, find what makes you happy apart from him before trying to contact again

  17. Amanda

    April 5, 2016 at 3:16 am

    My ex boyfriend and I had been together for over 4 years. We broke up and he got into a rebound relationship quickly after. A few weeks into the rebound relationship he reached out to me and began texting and calling me almost every day. We hung out a few times. He told me he still had feelings for me and wanted us to work on things so we could get back together. However, when his new girlfriend asked me about this I told her the truth and she thought I was lying. He also lied to her and said he hadn’t talked or seen me. She blocked me on all of his social media. I felt like my ex and I were making progress towards reconciliation but now I feel we have taken 10 steps backwards. I have started no contact since this has happened. I truly believe he still has feelings for me and is just confused of what he wants. Do I still have a chance? Any other advice?

    1. Amanda

      April 5, 2016 at 1:50 pm

      Thank you! I was hoping since he already came back around once, that he will come back around again!

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 5, 2016 at 10:17 am

      HI Amanda,

      I think so, just keep with no contact. Hopefully her jealousy makes him miss you.

  18. FRAN

    March 25, 2016 at 4:30 am

    On day 8 of the no contact rule because I totally got friend zoned. We were in a long distance relationship and he is now in town for spring break. He texted me yesterday on day 7, the first text since I decided to implement NC, asking if I still wanted to hang out since we had made plans before I stopped talking to him. I haven’t responded but it’s making me feel wretched and confused on whether or not I’m doing the right thing. The last time he visited was 3 months ago so am I ruining my chances of getting him back by ignoring his interest in seeing me? I implemented NC not only because I was being friend zoned but because he and I have made a few plans in the past that he always flaked out on and I was just so tired of feeling needy and desperate.

    1. Fran

      April 3, 2016 at 7:58 pm

      No I didn’t. I’m now on day 18 of NC. He sent me that one text on day 7 but I haven’t heard from him since.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 4, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      okay, just contnue on with nc for now and be active so you have a lot to post

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 2, 2016 at 12:13 pm

      Hi Fran,

      did you break nc to see him?

  19. jane

    March 18, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    I’ve been with my bf for almost 10 years, we have an amazing daughter, and I love them both. Lately, he’s been accusing me of cheating, without considering the possibility of my innocence. He thinks he has hard evidence, but in reality it doesn’t prove anything. I haven’t cheated on him, nor would I, especially when I thought that maybe this year we could finally get married.
    He got really tired of me denying his claims, even after I would let him check my phone, texts, emails, I even asked him to accompany me while at work. All he says, is that he will forgive me if I tell him the truth, but the truth is I haven’t cheated, I almost even wished I did so that I can tell him I did, I even almost booked a lie detector test.

    Anyways, in my desperation, of getting my family back, I made mistake #1,2,4,5 and 7 :O. NC Rule starts today, i feel as though I’ve come off way too strong and made things far worst than need be. I’ll be back in 30 days with an update.

    Hoping for a good one !

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 19, 2016 at 4:19 pm

      We’ll wait for Jane.. I hope he believes you by that time too

  20. jennifer

    March 14, 2016 at 1:50 pm

    So… After I broke up with him and realizing it was a rush decision i did mistake #1 #2 and #3
    And after some weeks past I was about to do mistake #4

    I must say, the NC really works. Everyone who is reading this and haven’t done it, start it right now! I feel so much better. I can finally think logically again and am not that emotional unstable girl anymore.

    I hope he will – not forget, this is impossible, but – not think about it anymore. We both made mistakes. I am willing to forgive him and I hope he will, too

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      Hi Jennifer,

      Thank you for recommending no contact. In time, most of us learn to forgive, so let’s hope for the best.

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