Yeah so, like I said, there’s a specific strategy that I have laid out for people trying to get their exes back but the interesting about the exes and break ups is each one is unique. So, each one is a different situation. So, you can only look at the template for getting an ex back as really guidelines that you have to alter for your specific situations and one of the big alterations that you have to make during the no contact rule, especially if you have kids is, your ex is entitled to talk about his child with you and you’re obligated to also talk, assuming he cares.
I have seen exes not reach out once in like 20 days where they’re just super upset and they just don’t even care about the kids but assuming that your ex cares about the kid, I do make some alterations where you can actually break the no contact rule only to talk about that kid. If he tries anything to turn the conversation back to the weather or anything romantic, you cut the conversation there.
It’s only about the kids. And the other thing hat I really, because I see a lot with people going through break ups, so they’re not married. So, there’s nothing legally binding them per say. So, one of the things that we, my wife and I, we’ve been kind of recently talking about this people who have children, especially the women, should also consult someone legally to figure out sort of how that’s going to work because I think you have to put the children first before yourself and often times these women don’t like to hear that because they’re just so gung ho about trying to get their ex back that you have to kind of redirect them a little bit and let them understand, “Well look, you want what’s best for your child.”
And actually often times, doing that helps them ignore their ex even more. It makes their ex even want them more. Yes, seeking legal help is kind of an important thing that you need to sort of determine. There is a woman who I had a coaching call last week and her ex, did something really–that I thought was really strange. So, when the baby is born, they give you the birth certificate and you have to sign the birth certificate. Both parents are supposed to sign the birth certificate but this particular gentleman, did not sign the birth certificate at all. So, he sort of weighed all the legal rights but I think it was on purpose because he didn’t want to pay child support if it came down to that. So, he can kind of claim that well, I didn’t sign the birth certificate. So, techinically I’m not entitled to do it.