To date, Matt Marr may be one of the most interesting guests that I have ever had on the podcast.
He describes himself as a,
- Therapist
- Host
- Chatterbox
But perhaps the thing that immediately drew me to him is that he has been featured in some GIGANTIC commercials,
And acting is just one of this guys passions.
Anyways, after complimenting him on his amazing work acting I quickly steered the conversation towards breakups.
I was eager to get a licensed therapists take on what one should do after they go through a breakup.
And some of the insights that Matt had were astounding.
Watch A Real Therapists Take On Breakups
What We Talk About In This Episode
- How To Handle The Inevitable Crossroads After A Breakup
- An Interesting Way To View Cheating
- Examples Of When You Should Try To Get Back With An Ex
- The Exact Percentage Of People Who End Up Getting Back Together According To Him
- The Importance Of Individual Growth
- The Benefits Exercise Has On A Breakup
Hi Chris,
I know your program is usually used by women who want their ex back, but I’m in a situation where although I deeply care about and love this person and I’d like to see things work out, it doesn’t seem like that would be healthy. My ex boyfriend was very jealous, insecure, controlling and possessive throughout our relationship. He would constantly accuse me of talking to other guys (I wasn’t) or find something “wrong” (like my shirt was too sheer or he saw pictures in my phone that didn’t exist), etc. In addition he would gaslight and make me think I said things that I know I did not. Within the first few weeks of dating he wanted to move in and was talking about marriage and getting me pregnant “by accident” only a couple of months in…these were red flags that I know I ignored and my therapist says that his twisting my words and controlling behavior was actually emotional abuse. I am using the no contact rule as a way of healing because I have used your methods before to get over an ex who cheated (he did eventuallly try to come back, but I never left no contact and am much happier).
I’m just wondering if you have any insight into when you just shouldn’t take an ex back, especially if there is abuse. I miss him terribly, but I know that he’s not healthy.
Seeking clarity,
Alexis
Hi Alexis,
if there is abuse, that’s for sure that you shouldn’t get back with him. Check this too:
When Should You Stop Trying To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
I started being friends again with my ex and things seemed to be going good, but I became pushy and needy and as a result he started avoiding me. I confronted him about it and he said he felt I wasnt over it and I was trying to force intimacy and he didnt feel comfortable with it and he thought we shouldnt hang out too much for now. I said I was upset he had lied to me instead of being upfront and started limiting my contact with him, so to make up for it he invited me for drinks with one of his friends yesterday. I said I was busy. Now he has invited me to his house warming party and I have told him I am not sure I will be able to attend. On the one hand I feel like he´s giving me breadcrumps and doing it for charity since I dont have many friends here (I moved here following him), also I think he wants me there because he wants his party to be a success. Also it would help me remove my neediness aura. On the other hand I could show up looking hot and just have a good time and show I´m over all the drama, he always gets good opinions of me from his friends and he knows a couple of his friends like me. He seems to be super cool with it and says he´s happy for me, I dont want to end up on the friend zone either. What should I dooo.
Hi Apricot Jelly,
Make a new friends, have your own life before trying to reconnect again. And take it slow when you start to build rapport again.
Really liked this interview! This line in particular spoke to me: “sometimes the characters of anger or fear or doubt or loneliness often write stories of our chapters of our life. And it’s not necessarily this story we want to write.” Hits home!