7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Christa

February 17, 2016 at 3:35 pm

Hi,

I met my bf when we were both studying in universities together in Australia. We both came from different countries and happened to fell in love with each other.
I was in relationship with my bf for 1 and a half year and we broke up because my ex said the main reason was, his family doesn’t like me..

I’ve never met his family before but he said it’s because we have different nationalities and his parents wouldn’t approve it. Is it fair to break up just because we are different? We really loved each other, he cared for me, I did love him so much too and we were both in a serious relationship. However, as we finished our study, we both went back to our home country so even if the relationship lasted, it would be a long distance relationship.

I asked him that I wouldn’t mind a long distance relationship but he always mentioned that his family would never approve our relationship and it really hurt me. In the end we broke up. After we broke up, he ever bought me a cake on my birthday and he said he just wanted to let me know that there will be someone who always care for me. As I was confused so I confronted him to let me move on and yes he clearly mentioned his intention was just to be my best friend. He realised he was not a good bf before so now he is aware and accepts the fact that we are only friends and wants to make me happy.

Because I don’t want to lose him, I said yes to stay friends with him. We chatted about a lot of things then in the next month, he texted me again. I’m so confused, I loved him and I want him back but I wanted to ask if it is worth it to get back together considering our difficult situations? If he texted me first, does it mean he misses me?

Please help.. Thank you 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 10:21 am

Hi Christa,

yes it means he misses and wants to ve friends with you but the question is, is he willing to fight for you.. because if not, you have to keep that in mind

kavya

February 17, 2016 at 3:20 pm

hi,
I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago. we have been dating from past five years out of which 3 years was long distance..we were school sweethearts and got separated for our colleges after college. it was fine till last year when he came up to break up. I gave him the breakup, but then I went down to his place to make things right. since I couldn’t stay without him. we got back together but I felt something was still missing. he wasn’t the same but still I wanted to be with him and now finally he said I don’t love you anymore and being with you will be betraying you which I don’t wanna do. thought it been two months, I can’t take him out of my head at all. I really don’t know wat to do. he never lies to me and hence for a fact I know he has lost his feelings for me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 10:19 am

Hi Kavya

at least he has been honest.. it has been two months of total no talk?

Julia uk

February 17, 2016 at 7:37 am

Hi,
Well I broke my NC early but I did have my reasons, it went neutral/positive. I tried to end the conversation a few times but he kept it going. I know I should have just not replied. He said he had missed me lots but I’m not the rite person for him ( I have one personality trait he can’t get over ) he kept saying he wishes he was with me ect and asked if I understood why we broke up. So the next day I didn’t txt him and he txt me just asking if I as okay, I replied and we sent 3/4 txt but he just didn’t reply to my next one. I know I let the txting go on too long on the first day and maybe should have kept NC up a few days longer but I don’t know what to do now? If I don’t here from him today ( day 3) do I just send him quick txt tomorrow?

Julia uk

February 28, 2016 at 11:23 am

Well I messed up big time
Met him drunk, got into a argument and the words ” for fuck sake p***r” came out of my mouth.. His name is D***d..P***r is my ex!!
It’s all over.
Well I tried
Julia uk

February 27, 2016 at 7:09 am

In the end he did ring me back like 2 hours later and said sorry that was a long 5 mins. He had to go as he was getting a delivery then rang me back after they had been to tell me what had came but I had to go as was busy with work. I text him I’ll let you get on with your DIY ect really happy your new home is coming together for you. Text me later …. So I didn’t have one message back from him. Not like him we txt most of the day. Around 7.30 I text hope everything’s okay you have been quiet, he replying . Not stopped. And that was it so I didn’t reply. He then rang at 8.30, we had a short chat. Each call lasted 6 mins. He said he couldn’t remember if I said I was out I said no I’m having a early night and out tomorrow (sat) he asked where ect but no talk of meeting up, then or any other time. He said hopefully my day (as in his day) won’t be so busy (on the sat) and he will try and call me, very odd thing to say when he can text me. He also said I’ll text you later, it was 00.45 by the time he did and just said sweet dreams, he knows I opened it and didn’t reply yet. Sorry for long explanation I just can’t figure him out. Wrote down the calls look positive the sweet dreams look positive but I know him and that’s very quiet and short, even sort calls with us were always 20 mins long. I still think he’s second questioning “us” and what happened. I really want to talk properly with him but don’t know how to bring it up without him running a mile. I did say to him the other night I would be no ones “hook up”so he knows am not up for casual sex. Totally regretting letting him come back now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2016 at 12:21 pm

well.. take it slow and just let him show over time what he really wants
Julia uk

February 26, 2016 at 1:18 pm

I rang at around 11am, mostly because I didn’t know what to text, he sounded upbeat and chatty on the phone, but, there is always a but, it’s his moving day and he was out shopping with his house mate then he said “hi, yeah just buying things for new place” so I guessed he bumped into someone. He said I’ve got to go I’ll ring you back in 5 mins. Then he didn’t but text half an hour later saying ” not ignoring you” up until that moment I didn’t think he was but now I’m paranoid he just got his friend to talk to him as I have seen his friend say ring me to get out of situations with girls. I just replied. Don’t worry I know you are busy. That was over a hour ago, no call back or extra message now. Can’t help but worry.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2016 at 6:09 am

But he cleared that he’s not ignoring you right? Maybe he knows you’re going to worry…
Julia uk

February 26, 2016 at 10:49 am

Well we met up last night after he asked me to meet him, we talked over a few things, the reason we had never talked about some of the things to start with is because he wanted to talk over text or when we were on a date and I said i wanted to talk face to face in private so yesterday was a bit the same as we were in public. So after a bit of serious talk we chatted about everyday things and our new homes ect, he was grabbing my hand and kissing it and saying I knew how much he had missed me. I asked how he was getting home he said train, I said taxi, we walked up to the train station and I joking said I’ve walked you for your train he said no no that won’t do I’ll walk you for a taxi, I said I’ll just get the train with you so when we were on it he asked what station I was getting off and I asked him he said he would walk me home. Anyway you can guess the rest and we spent the night together. He’s always awful in a morning so I tried not to take too much notice when we went our separate ways, he did kiss me goodbye but I’ve no idea how to play things from now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2016 at 12:19 pm

it went well girl!! have you texted him after he got home? Coz if not yet, don’t… let him text first this time
Julia uk

February 25, 2016 at 2:48 pm

So it’s okay for me to ring him or should I wait for him to call me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2016 at 6:54 am

yes it’s ok 🙂
Julia uk

February 24, 2016 at 1:11 pm

It’s been a week and a half of texting now, he asked yesterday if I was ok as seemed distant and in a strange mood, I didn’t realise I was, I was just really tired as we had been texting until 1am the night before. I’ve also been replying to his messages the same way he replies so if his is short I leave mine short or if he sends a one word answer I don’t reply ( I don’t know if this is the rite thing to do or not?) but he seems to send another longer text if I don’t reply. Still no calls. i don’t know how to make it progress further or quicker. After I made the comment about him asking me out on a date and he joked it off I don’t know what to do. He has a very busy/stressful week so I don’t want to put any pressure on where he pushes me away?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2016 at 10:26 am

hmmm.. you can transition to calls via text by just saying that what you’re currently talking about is better in calls
Julia uk

February 23, 2016 at 10:08 am

So after messaging most of yesterday he text me late on saying ” I am missing you” I knew he had had a drink so I just replied “snap” he said well I think we need to do something about this either way, I said well you know if you asked me on a date I would go and he replied with something jokey.. We are txting a lot, still no calls or talk of meeting up or getting back together, if I don’t reply to a txt or I’m quite short with one he mostly keeps the conversation going or texts again. Do I just keep going with the contact how it is?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2016 at 6:53 am

the texts aims to go for calls actually.. and the calls aim to go for dates.. it’s good that he’s keeping the convo going..but if it’s like that and you don’t progressl, he will get bored
Julia uk

February 22, 2016 at 5:12 pm

No I’m not could you explain the best way to implement that in text pls?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2016 at 1:47 pm

It means you have to text him in increasing numbers everyday… 2 txtx in the first day, 3-4 in the next, 5-6 next and so on and so forth..

It’s best explained here with other examples for texting

EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend
Julia uk

February 21, 2016 at 11:20 am

I seem to be the one always sending the first txt although he is the one that normally keeps the conversation going, do you think I should not txt for a couple of days?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 2:59 pm

It’s ok that you start the convo as long as you end it right.. do you use the tide theory?
Julia uk

February 20, 2016 at 4:46 pm

That’s exactly how it is, we chat for ages fine then all of a sudden he will change and bring something up that makes him in a bad mood? Do you think I should just end the conversations sooner and stick to it even if he wants to carry on?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 10:09 am

I think you should end the convos before he gets to the bad mood point
Julia uk

February 20, 2016 at 7:46 am

So, I txt him first yesterday, he was a bit “off” with me at first as didn’t think the message i had sent was for him. Then he was “fine” we sent a few text I tried to end the conversation, then I just didn’t text back as there was no need to his last txt. He then text again a couple of hours later I sent a few replies, he asked if I was doing much ( Friday night ) I said going to a friends sisters 40th party. He said have a good night and have a drink for him. I said thanks and that he would probably have more to drink then me and left it at that even after he replied.. So he txt again a few hours later ( btw I didn’t even have a drink I just wanted him to think I was ) he said hope you are having a good night and my ears aren’t burning too much ( as in he was talking about me) so long story short, over a few text he says he had talked about me all night, wanted to see me, missed me, that I had no idea how much he wanted to see me and talk to me but ended it with ” but you know” … Why say all of that and in my eyes check up on me on a night out if he can’t even bring himself to sort out any differences we have?? When He said I want to see you he was passing my house to get home on the train, normally I would have said well come round but I just said I don’t think that’s a good idea for a lot of reasons but I’ll go with my house is a mess ( I’m moving, so is he, he didn’t tell me he had new place till yesterday even though he knew all week) he replied with “suits you” I said what? He said I’m not explaining … So I don’t know if he meant it suits me turning him down as he thinks I’m desperate for attention or now I’m thinking does he mean the mess suits me as in my life is a bit of a mess?? So in my head I feel like backing off, I don’t know what he wants me to say or do. He won’t admit it and has never said it but I know he loves me he has told me more then once he misses me a lot but nothing I do seems to be rite or enough to get him back, we have been on and off texting for 5 days now, he’s not rang and no mention of talking or meeting up at all. Sorry for long post I’m just at a standstill and don’t know what to do now? Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2016 at 11:05 am

did you ask him why he didn’t tell you? And I think there is attractio n now, but your conversations seem ti end the wrong way
Juliauk

February 19, 2016 at 7:00 am

So what do I do now? He’s not replied to my saying what do you want me to say to that?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2016 at 11:00 am

wait it out again at least 3 days.. of he doean’t text, ask him how’s the trip
Julia uk

February 18, 2016 at 1:02 pm

So he txt this morning after I didn’t reply last night about him being in his home city, it was just a neutral random friendly txt that I replied to in the same way, went sent one more each then I replied my phone wasn’t working well and not saving names and numbers together, he then said ” I can see why that would be a major issue for someone who collects numbers like you” Infiring I have a lot of men’s numbers or on the go, this was one of the reasons he spilt up with me as he wrongly thinks I talk to a lot of men because I have two male friends I haven’t met before ( internet friends ) so this was obviously a dig at me. I replied with I don’t know how you expect me to reply to that and now he’s gone into silence again? I don’t understand why he txt me to make chat this morning if all he wants to do is insult me when he sees a opening?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 6:06 pm

hmm..either that’s an issue he wants ti address or he still feels bad about it
Julia uk

February 18, 2016 at 7:39 am

He text me at 9 last night with a music link where the song mentions his home city, I took an hour to reply, he then took 20 mins or so to reply to that telling he he was there ( in his home city ) so I just wrote back literally? As I didn’t know if he meant in his head off the song,he replied ,yeah literally. I wanted to respond “enjoy” but because I think I sent too many txts the other day I didn’t reply, I’m guessing it’s a good thing he wanted me to know he was there? I’m sure it will just be a short stay so it doesn’t concern me. Should I txt later on today maybe saying enjoy your stay? Thanks for the response. I still don’t feel like he’s wanting to move past “friends” at the min as he would have been on the train 4 hours and didn’t txt me once but I’m holding on to hope.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 3:29 pm

make it conversational.. because that’s a text that he doesn’t have to reply to
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 17, 2016 at 3:07 pm

Hi Julia,

if you don’y hear from him make it two days before you text

Jess

February 16, 2016 at 6:04 am

Hi, My ex broke up with me after 6 years. Completely out of the blue and he said he just doesn’t see himself marrying me although he can’t tell me why, but I know that he loves me and cares for me, as well as I for him. He said when he broke up with me that I was perfect and it made this even harder. I could tell he didn’t really know what he wanted and that maybe he didn’t want to break up. He moved across the country and has since then… Restricted my access and my families access to his facebook profile, not spoken to me more than twice (where I initiated contact first, both times) and I think he has now gotten his family to stop all communication with me. I don’t understand why he is being like this, plus his family loved me. He apparently is telling all his friends he will never get back together with me, but when he spoke to me he was completely up and down. Implying that maybe we will get back together in the future (but he doesn’t want to get my hopes up).

I have no way now of knowing if he is missing me and I feel completely lost. Any advice you can all give me? Note: That he also quit his job the day he broke up with me and moved away to be with his family, because he missed them so much. I don’t think he really wanted to break up with me.

I love him with all my heart and his mom and sister confirmed that he does still love me. It has only been just over a month and I am doing the no contact rule (on day 7). I’m so lost without him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 12:34 pm

hi Jess,
did he break up with you because he had to move back home which is overseas?

Jason Ellis

February 16, 2016 at 12:07 am

I have trouble getting over the idea that these tactics based on manipulation – and how can you succeed in a long-term relationship or marriage for that matter if your approach is to control the other person.

I’m all for someone trying to get their ex back. But – what happens when problems arise in the future and they are acting from the precedent that “trickery” worked the first time? Don’t these strategies engender the habit of emotional deception? I’m asking honestly – this isn’t some long-winded troll. What happend AFTER you get your ex back? How can you regain your sense of integrity? Won’t that kind of haunt the rest of your relationship? That’s for taking the time to read.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 8:47 am

Hi Jason,
actually nc works to kind of have a reset and then using the best tools to get to communicate with the person.. If you think about it, it looks like manipulation because you know what to do and you’re expecting a certain reaction, but’s also like courting.. finding out what the person likes and doing it to make him or her fall for you..

Alice

February 15, 2016 at 6:13 pm

Hi,
I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago because he’s been really up and down with me for the past few months- one minute very loving and the next doesn’t want to talk to me and ignores me, even though he knows it really upsets me and I’ve told him numerous times. He’s got a lot of issues and problems at the moment, so I think this is the main cause of this change in behaviour. We were texting a bit after, with him saying that he wants to be friends, that he still loves me and wants to continue talking, but that he thought the break up was probably for the best as he was upsetting me and I wasn’t happy. He then stopped replying to my texts (we haven’t spoken for 5 days now) and I’m questioning everything, like what is he thinking, do I want to get back with him, has he moved on, can he change his behaviour, does he actually love me etc etc. What do you think? What shall I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 7:59 am

Hi Alice,

I don’t think he’s really moving on but he dod acknowldege that it’s better because he upsets yiu, maybe he’s working on himself to improve too because he knows he’s the reason of the breakup.. give each other time first.. as you said it has been uo and down for a long time.. time to give the cycle a rest right? maybe after 21 days, you can reach out again

Lisa

February 14, 2016 at 8:36 pm

I was in relationship for 2.5,however my boyfriend broke up with me saying that he doesn’t respect and love me.He told that he wants to be friends with me. He tried to contact me 3-4 times and he even came to my home,however I didn’t speak to him properly and asked him to leave. I felt very bad when I did that, but I can’t see him as a friend as I still have feelings for him. Please suggest me what to do? I still want him back.

Lisa

March 24, 2016 at 8:08 am

What should I speak to him when he will come?
Lisa

March 24, 2016 at 8:04 am

Does he wants me to say that I have come here for him!!
Lisa

March 23, 2016 at 11:05 pm

Hello,

He told to one of my friend that I hate him now and he is not the right guy for me. My friend asked me to call him once, meet him and clarify the reason that why is he not ready for the commitment. He is coming to my house this Friday evening to meet me( I guess this will be the last time).

I want to share my story, we met 2.5 years before. We became friends and then couple in just 1 month. After that we started to hangout with each other all the time. During that time I was planning to write GMAT and he was planning to goto Australia. So, most of my time I spent with him and did not study a lot. I did not get the expected marks. After that I applied in Australia and got admission in the same college where he was studying. After coming here, he asked me why did I have come to Australia, when I told for masters, he got angry that I didn’t come here for him.

Once he said that we already broke up 3 times and I do not see our future together. It has been 6 weeks we have last seen each other. Since then I was continuing with my classes.

His problems are what he plans for me, I do not do that. He always criticises me which he doesn’t like and he also says that I am very sarcastic.

I really want him back. Please suggest me what should I do.

Thanks,
Lisa
Lisa

February 21, 2016 at 4:50 pm

How will it help to get him back? how can i create his feelings for me?
He tried to contact 3-4 times, but I ignored before contacting you. So, now should I contact him or wait for him to contact me again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 22, 2016 at 11:19 am

I reread your previous comments… If he really just wants to be friends, do no contact and all the things you need to do while in it to improve yourself..
Lisa

February 19, 2016 at 1:20 pm

He said that he wants to be friends, but I also felt that he wants friends with benefits. When my friend asked him if he will be fine if I will find a new boy friend, he said that he will be so happy. He also told to my one friend that I am smart, but dumb as well. I don’t know what’s going on in his mind.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2016 at 6:51 am

Oh be careful then..observe what his real motive.. enjoy the company if you meet but with cautiob
Lisa

February 18, 2016 at 10:53 pm

He spoke to me 2 days before, just to ask me about my plans for this summer vacation (we are doing masters). My friends asked not to entertain him, so I just told that I am busy, will speak later.

Please suggest me on this.What to do??
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2016 at 10:07 am

So he’s just contacting you as friends or he wants to be friends with benefits? Because he said he lost respect with you right?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2016 at 7:37 pm

Hi Lisa,

so when was that? How many days has it been since you last talked?

Kim

February 14, 2016 at 4:48 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years three weeks ago. It was brought up over a stupid joke I made. The next morning, I realized I made a huge mistake and I apologized and we decided to try to work things out slowly and everything looked good. We were friendly and I thought we were heading on the right track.

Out of nowhere, he was really cold and said that we shouldn’t speak and it was for the best. I was confused and called to ask for clarity. We had a long conversation and I ended up crying and ask him to reconsider this break up. He said it was too soon and not healthy to get back together right away but he did not say that the option of getting back together was gone.
I went to my father for advice. He told me to do NC for two weeks and he’ll come back. I said ok, and also went to his father for advice. His father, I assumed, knew him the best because they were very close and I was close with his family. His father called me the next morning after the breakup and said if I ever need to talk then to just call and talk and he would always be there for me.

His father gave me the opposite idea of no contact and to go to his work, say I just want to take him to lunch and show him that I just want to spend time with him for a bit and prove to him I understand my mistakes. I did just that and it backfired.
We went for a drive for his lunch and I told him my feelings. He said I hurt him and fucked him up, but he also understood that I was taking his dad’s advice so there was no bad feelings towards my actions. He said it took a lot of guts and that it was too soon. He said we shouldn’t talk to each other for 30 days, and I agreed. So I left it at that.

I wish I listened to my dad instead of his. I know his dad may be biased, but his dad has always given me really good advice and have been unbiased when it came to our fights and first breakup (that he initiated).
Everyone tells me that he’ll come around and it’s his emotions speaking. He just needed to process the emotions. He knows I immediate recognized my mistake. Mutual friends say that he needs the time to miss me.
I gave him all of his stuff back, but he still has mine in a box. I deleted him off of Facebook and Snapchat. I unfollowed him on Instagram, but he still follows me. I deleted our pictures on Instagram, but they’re still on my Instagram album on Facebook. He deleted all but two pictures of me on his Instagram. I’m not going to block him off of Instagram. If he wants to keep tabs on me, he can. I also changed his contact name as “NO CONTACT”. It deters me from wanting to message him, but I don’t want to message him.

I’m hurt, he’s hurt. It’s been five days since no contact and it’s tough, but I’ve been keeping busy. I also unfollowed and dropped all our mutual friends. I can’t risk seeing him popping up on any of my feeds.
Everyone said let him make the first initial contact because he knows my stance of everything.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2016 at 12:03 pm

Hi Kim,

what is your decision on what to do after nc?

fatima

February 14, 2016 at 7:02 am

i broke up wd my loved one we once decided to marry
actually we are mmuslams and he sent proposal to my father
my father but we were together for 6 months to try once more
we gave an exam he passed n i failed he fought wd me for the argument we had 2 days before
and i just said alot in anger like he is disgusting man and abused
now he says he has no felings for me n v r friends
i weep n begg for love but he says there is no love now
i want him please

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2016 at 9:29 am

Hi Fatima,

To make it clear,
–You broke up with him,
–he asked your hand from your father but your father didn’t approve.
–who abused who?

Belle

February 13, 2016 at 9:03 pm

My boyfriend has just broken up with me for the 5th time in a year. Do you have any advice about hot and cold guys? One day he wants to be my boyfriend, hes never liked me more etc and the next he freaks and bails. What can i do? This spunds silly regarding the 5 time split but hes the one, i knowcwe comecback together for a reason. Please help. Whats should i do? 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2016 at 5:54 am

Hi Belle,

If it’s because of the same reason, you have to talk on how to resolve it for this cycle to end but if he just randomly breaks up with you every time then it’s up to you if you would put up with it.
You can do nc, it can help him think you’re not waiting anymore but you can’t do it again and again if this cycle doesn’t end.

Lauren

February 13, 2016 at 1:40 am

Hey Chris,
So I didn’t talk to my ex for about 3 weeks. After our breakup, I had reached out to him and he was being a total jerk to me. So I decided I would give him space since the breakup was new. After 3 weeks he had walked up to me and started talking to me. I was assuming he was finally warming up to me as a friend. We talked until the early morning hours over text message. We decided to meet up and talk and we ended up hugging a lot. Not the friend type of hug. He wouldn’t let go of me and there were times where I went to let go to make him wanting more and he asked why I was letting go. Our faces were touching and there were times when I felt like he wanted to kiss me. We also held hands. He also made this comment, “even after all the bad stuff that happened. We know each other, can we just be open.” And I asked him what he meant and he changed the subject and said I don’t know. I’m so confused what’s going on with him and how he’s feeling now. What does this mean?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2016 at 1:04 pm

Hi Lauren,

It means he’s a bit comortable with you now but not enough to really say what he feeels

Janelle

February 12, 2016 at 9:39 pm

Hi!
My boyfriend broke up with me last week after he went on a family trip out of the country. During that time I took care of their house took them and and picked them up from the airport with flowers for his mom. We had a date and he wanted to show me pictures, but I already saw them and started to scroll through them quickly. He got upset and said he didn’t want to be around my negativity anymore. We talked and I tried to convince him it was miscommunication but he didn’t care. He said I’m always negative and annoying and said everyone he knows thinks so (even though I have been nice to everyone). He also said he doesn’t want to take me anywhere anymore with his friends because they always think I’m negative and sad (I haven’t seen any of them and usually am the party starter). It has been 8 months since I found out he cheated on me with an older woman and I was thinking we were trying to fix things.

Since then, we have cats together and he came by to pick them up. He blocked me on periscope and snapchat, but has text me and called, and hasn’t blocked me on instagram. I made food and he ate, I told him I was sorry, and he said he doesn’t want drama around his life. He said he would maybe think about giving me another chance where I promised to only be happy around him and not talk to him. Now he and his family have to go for a trip this weekend and he text me to watch the cats at his moms house. I said yes, but am so confused. I called him and he answered after 4 days and asked if he could forgive me and give me another chance. He said he made his decision and doesn’t want drama. I said I wouldn’t give him any if he gave me a chance and he said, even talking to you now is annoying. I made my decision. I don’t know what to do. We have been together for 5 years and I have to sleep at his house alone tonight…can I save this??? I want to marry him and have a family, I just want to know. Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2016 at 11:43 am

Hi Janelle,

You don’t seem to be pessimistic but you have to stop apologizing for something you’re not even sure you did.. it’s disrespecting on your side..and for me if you two broke up, you shouldn’t be doing things for them like before

Tiara

February 12, 2016 at 3:23 am

I broke up with my bf 2 weeks ago because I found out that he’s texting his 4 ex, telling her that he missed her. But there is another big issue that he said it was his mother who wants he and his ex to back together again. He said he does not want to make her mother sad so he contacted her ex, and I found out that her ex was very close with his mother and they even talked about me. His mother asked about me and he said that my relationship with him was a fling, and he told his mother to help him get back together with his ex. I was totally confused with this because at that time he was telling me, he was crying….. Saying he’s sorry to her mother and he really love his mom. I couldn’t help but forgive him with a big hope that he will take care of this matter and pursue me so I put NC until now but 2 days ago I found out from my friend that he is still constantly contacting his ex. I feel so heart broken because I really loved him and it is kinda hard for me to feel that way.

The problem is, he is in the same club as me and we are very close. Next week is the first day of new semester and even I dont want to, I will have a contact with him. I dont know what kind of behavior should I put in front of him and his friends, as a matter I dont want him to know that I was sad, but I want him to feel sorry and pursue me again.

Anne

February 13, 2016 at 10:28 am

Hi!

My bf and I broke up 2 days ago after being together for 1,5 years.
I’m his first girlfriend and a little older than him. He’s very much controlled by emotions, and I’m kind of opposite – I take my time to evaluate my feelings before I act on them. Before we started being a couple we had a very slow start and I thought we might just be friends (we had 5 “dates” without a kiss or holding hands). But eventually we had a long dating periode (about 5 months) where he broke up with me twice, because he felt like the relationship was a burden, like I wanted to see him more than he felt he had time to.
But every time, we talked it through on the same day and found a solution to his problems (which was mainly that he didn’t knew how to say no to me, if he was stressed and didn’t feel like he had the time to see me).
In the end we did break up for a while, because he was planning on moving away for uni, and I didn’t want a long distance relationship – so he need to end it, to take care of himself (because he was in love with me. And I in him). However, he didn’t move and after a few months we stared seeing each other and after a while a mutual friend gave us the push we needed and said that we were clearly in love with eachother, so why not act on it? We did and we quickly became a couple.
But it continued to be a problem that he’s easily stressed and very much controlled by his emotions, and I’m quite the opposite and that I have a much greather need to see him (maybe need isn’t the right word, maybe I just have more time to see him than he has to see me). Lately he has been very stressed. He is very stressed about uni and everytime he has a test (ever 7 weeks) he wants to quit. He doens’t see me nor his friends as much as he would like. All this stress affected our relationship a lot. He feels like he can’t do anything as good as he wants to: me, his friend and uni. He feels like I have too many demands and he isn’t good enough. During the last months he asked me a few times if I still love him and he said he was very afraid that I would break up with me. Every time I told him still did and that I sometime were afraid that he would break up with me. Then we talked about it and things got better.
The other night I called him and got upset because he didn’t ask me how I was doing. And he ended up saying that we need to talk about the relationship and I went to his place and he said he didn’t feel the “spark” anymore. I said that the “spark” comes and goes and I feel like we have a great foundation, because we care so much and have so much respect and that I was sure the “spark” would come back. But in the end, he gave me all my stuff bach and vice versa. It was very late so we agreed that he’d come over to my place the next day so we could have a chat. I was hoping that he would have changed his mind like he used to, but no. I asked if he met someone else and he said no. And he didn’t want to either. He couldn’t find anyone as good as me anyways.
We did agree that we still love each other (but he wasn’t sure if he was in love with me), he says he can’t find anyone like me, but that he’s not good enough for me. It seems so unfair that we can feel like this and we still need to break up. We both feel like we’re best friends and we will do our best to remain friends.
When I look at the relationship I can see he needs to be more aware of himself, his needs and be better at saying no. – Maybe just grow up a little. And that I shouldn’t be so pushy. And express myself in a different manner, because he feels like he’s not good enough.
I think time apart will do us both good and I know he needs some time to figure out what he wants – both with me and uni. But I’m afarid to loose him. At the same time I feel like it will end well – be it as friends or more.
Have gave me tickets to go the the teater with him for christmas and we said we’d see how we feel, but we’d like to go together. But the show is only 23 days after the break up. Because of the NC rule, I’m starting to think that it might be a bad idea.
I have been thinking about asking one of his friends for advice (if he thinks we should go or not, depending on how my ex feels), because I know my ex talks with him about the relationship. But I don’t know if that’s crossing some line.
If we end up going I will do the NC again for another 30 days.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2016 at 1:45 pm

Maybe you can move it after nc period? Ask his friend for help to do it so that you wouldn’t have to talk to him
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 12, 2016 at 3:01 pm

Hi Tiara,

I don’t know but his actions tell that it’s not just because of his mom

Kayla

February 11, 2016 at 5:20 pm

Hey, so I have been dating my best friend for 6 months, we knew each other since grade 7, and I am now a first year nursing student. Well, since October I have gotten in to drinking alot, and he hates it because his dad used to drink alot and it ruined their relationship too. Sunday he texted me & said that it isn’t going to work out between us, that he loves me, and that he wants me to fix myself up & maybe we can try again. I love him more than ANYTHING, I realized how much I hurt him & as he said “opened old wounds”. I want him back, he is all I can think of, I am scared to try the NC rule, because I am scared he will forget how much he loves me or he will think I am up to no good again. I am also scared he will find somebody in the time it takes. I quit drinking, this is the 5th day, I don’t have a desire to drink AT ALL, I am even doing better in school, studying more & passing my midterm exams & I just want him back :'( He just reads my facebook messages, and texts but doesn’t answer, yet he said he would be here as a friend for me too. Idk what to do :'( I want him back so bad. I am changing myself to be a better girlfriend for him & to be a better person as I am. I just can’t get my mind off of him. I go to bed crying & wake up crying, he is in my dream every night, and everything is a constant reminder of him & I and what we had. I just want it all back 🙁 & I definitely do not want him moving on to a different girl (I have really bad insecurity issues & jealousy, which i hide all the time & let it kill me inside) Idk :/ Help?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 12, 2016 at 1:47 pm

Hi Kayla,
First it’s just been 5 days, so relax.. It’s too early for him to move on.. If he ignores your texts, rest from texting for a while, maybe even just for 3 days. It’s not nc, just giving him a little space and also, if ever he notices you stopped drinking for a while, he might start to consider connecting with you again and if toy also improve other aspects of your life, maybe he’ll notice that too and help you to get him back

Falon

February 10, 2016 at 3:55 pm

Hi! Okay so a little over a week ago, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me out of the blue. We go to the same university, he is a freshman and I am a sophomore. Two days before he dropped the bomb we had a wonderful date together and it was just like it has always been. I felt loved. Bu then two days later he meets up with me and says that he dosent know what he wants and hasn’t been feeling like himself which was making him unhappy. I have to admit that i was sort of pressuring him to see me within the last month of out relationship. As I look back on it now I realize that I should wavelet him have his space and not pressure him to see me all the time. I am so heartbroken and I know for sure that I am still so in love with him and find myself constantly questioning why he did this and if he will ever come back. I don’t understand how he could go from being in love with me to not wanting a relationship two days later. After a week of not talking I made the mistake of texting him….I realize that was wrong now. So I started the No Contact Period all over again. He also said he dosent want to lose me completely but I made it clear that its impossible for me to be just friends. I guess I am just wondering what this means and if there is even a chance at all that we could find ourselves in a relationship again.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 10:40 am

I think there is, you just have to give him space

Kirsty

February 10, 2016 at 2:03 pm

Hi,
Will try to keep this short! I’ve been dating a guy for 9 months. I haven’t felt this strongly about anyone before. He has quite big abandonment issues – which he has spoken about – to do with his dad. Things have been good, he had become almost like a best friend and lover. Christmas was so nice and he told some family members about me. Two weeks ago he ended things saying he can’t be in a relationship right now / needs to sort his issues out. we had spoken over the two weeks (I started NC 3 days ago). In that period he has told me how sorry he is, that he cares and loves me, there’s a chance in the future if he can sort himself out, he misses us, he isn’t 100% sure about the decision. I saw him at the weekend to talk – we both cried (and he isn’t an overly emotional person). I had applied for a job abroad and he has asked me not to go. In this two week period we haven’t slept together or spent any time together. And now haven’t spoken since Sunday. I just want some advice on what to do now and if anyone can see us getting back together. In my eyes we made a good couple, laughed a lot, rarely fought. It doesn’t feel like we are the problem, but the walls he put up are. So I’m not sure what to do :/. Any advice would be much appreciated as feeling very lost right now.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 10:29 am

I think there is, you’re getting there, he just needs to fully realize that you’re a catch and there to wait forever

Milan

February 10, 2016 at 12:31 pm

Struggling with not calling me ex of 4 years. The day after he broke up with me a week ago he said hope all is well have a good day and I never responded and it’s been a week and I want to call so bad. He hasn’t said anything else either. I know he’s probably thinking why haven’t I called because usually I would have blown his phone up. I’m struggling because I truly unconditionally love him and he told me before the breakup conversation that day he was still in love with me I asked him to tell me and be honest now I’m struggling with calling him I want to so bad and I’m wondering is he even missing me he hasn’t said anything since. Yeah it’s been a week but I mean not anything. It’s so hard

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 10:15 am

Struggle is good, that means you’re giving your best to expand your will

Krystal

February 10, 2016 at 2:52 am

Broke up with bf in the first week of this month. Want to do the 30 day no contact but I will be seeing him in papers at university on the 28th. So don’t have a full 30 days of not seeing him. What do I do?? Do I hang out with him before uni but not contact him until the wknd before?? I need help

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 9:40 am

Nope.. because you’re still in nc. Avoide circumstanves where you can have a chance to talk but if he approaches you, don’t be rude. Just don’t initiate it.

Liz

February 9, 2016 at 11:05 pm

Hello! I am so terribly awfully conflicted right now. My boyfriend ended our relationship just over two weeks ago. I am so head over heals for this guy and I’m feeling every bit of all of the classic break up symptoms. It feels like my life will never be the same. I’m not even sure if it’s best for me to try to win him back, but right now it’s all I can think about. One of the biggest problems is… He still treats me like we are together. He talks to me, texts me, comes over to my apartment. YES, we are still sleeping together. 🙁 He tells me all the time that he misses me. The kicker is– he’s on more than one dating site. Actively talking to other girls. He’ll even text other girls in front of me! My heart is aching and I just don’t know what to do! Everyone in my life is telling me to move on. I think it’s probably best, but every time I decide that that’s what I’m going to do, he texts me something sweet and I can’t help but respond. I can’t cut him off! This is so hard. Please help!

Amal

February 10, 2016 at 6:43 pm

Hello, I break up recently with the man whom I considered him the love of my life. I feel totally ruined. He was my soulmate and I miss him every single moment and the pain makes me just wish I die! I need support and I wish to communicate with ladies in similar situation to give support to each other
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 11:40 am

Hi Amal,
if you want you can email here [email protected]. It’s private and only our team members can read your story.

But if you want to share it publicly.. you can comment it here as well.

Angela

February 9, 2016 at 6:46 am

hi! I have a friend that i’ve liked for 1 1/2 years and last year he told me he liked me too but didnt want to commit in a relationship due to his past experience. During the holidays we had a major fight about something which ended the friendship. After the holidays he realised that he made a mistake and we slowly started to patch up. After a week or two he told me he’s started to get feelings again which he doesnt want. And then he said : somethings i do, bother him a lot (e.g. wearing certain clothing) or talking to other guys. He stopped talking to me but then came back again and we were back to normal. Last week we had 2 arguments in a row cause of me and i apologized as well. He was okay with the first fight but the next fight he wasnt. I called him to sort things out and he just said he doesnt want to continue our friendship cause he doesnt like the friends i have and it bothers him that i am friends with them. He said that if theres a friend who is friends with all the people he dislikes, he’d rather just end that friendship with that friend so it doesnt annoy him. HE also said that he thinks i take him for granted cause i fought with him twice in a week but i explained to him that i was just a bit moody and that im sorry. but he said he doesn’t want to be friends. I know he wasn’t my bf but whatever we had was way more than friendship and it felt like a relationship. Now i dont know what to do or how to get him back. He wanted to go on a hike with me ( we planned this a while back) but this fight came up and now we’re not even talking. I was thinking of asking him if he wanted to hike. but idk if i should since we’re not really friends anymore 🙁 I really like him and don’t want to lose him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2016 at 9:15 pm

Hi Angela,

If he’s telling the truth, then he’s laying his standards on you. And that means, you either lose your friends to be with him or you negotiate how to go about this if you became friends again. And also, if you have been fighting a lot, wouldn’t he just ignore your invitation?

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