How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If HE Broke Up With You

There is no way around it, when someone breaks up with you, it sucks. Sometimes the blow can be softened if you had a feeling a breakup was coming soon but if you were completely caught off guard then your ego definitely took a pretty big blow :/. Nevertheless, the world isn’t over and you can definitely salvage the situation. This page is going to focus on what steps you can take to get your ex boyfriend back if he broke up with you. Now, I want to give you a little notice here, I am not one of those people that is going to fill your head up with all sorts of lies saying that the methods talked about on this page are guaranteed to have him crawling back to you. All I will say is this, if you follow the advice on this page your chances of getting him back will increase dramatically.

 Do You Have A Legitimate Reason?

seems legit

If you want this to work then you better have a legitimate reason for wanting to get back together with your ex. I can tell you I have heard a lot of stories from women wanting to get back with their exes except when I ask them “Well, what is your biggest reason for wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend?” they can’t come up with anything legitimate to tell me. Responses like:

  • “I miss him”
  • “He is the best I will ever date”
  • “I don’t want to be alone”

are NOT good enough. Trust me, if you don’t have a truly legitimate reason for wanting to be back with your ex boyfriend then I can assure you that you won’t get the happy ending that you are searching for (and for the record when I talk about a happy ending I mean having a long lasting HEALTHY relationship.) Now, the things that I talk about throughout this website will work on someone, even if you don’t have a legit reason, but almost always couples that reunite without a good reason don’t have a very healthy or long relationship. I want you to have a healthy and long relationship so that is why I am preaching this so much.

By now I am hoping that you are screaming at your computer “CHRIS, WHAT IS A LEGITIMATE REASON?” Well, there are a lot of legit and non-legit reasons to want to get back with an ex. I wrote an entire page covering them here: Legitimate Reasons To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend.

Alright, enough of this nonsense, lets get to the good stuff what do ya say?

Common Reasons He May Have Broken Up With You


As I am sure you have already figured out, men are quite complicated when it comes to relationships. There is a whole list of reasons that he may have potentially given you for the break up. Right now I don’t want you to worry about that, that is my job. What I am going to do for you is take the most common reasons that men use for a break up and tell you what they really mean. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that even though some of these reasons may be hard to face, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost, in fact, I think you will be fired up and ready to get him back after I break these down for you. Let’s take a look at the most common reasons:

  • The “it’s not you, it’s me” Excuse.
  • You don’t appreciate me
  • I don’t want to talk about it (Silence…..)
  • You Cheated On Them

The “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Excuse

its not you its me

Ah, the oldest excuse in the book. There are two big things you need to realize about someone who gave you this reason. First off, most of the time they are lying to you about the real reason why they wanted to breakup. Secondly, they weren’t specific about anything that you did that caused the breakup essentially leaving you in limbo land to wonder what went wrong. Off the top of my head here are some of the REAL reasons why they wanted to breakup:

  • They did not find you physically or emotionally attractive but cared enough about your feelings to not tell you to your face.
  • Some men have short attention spans and can get bored really fast. It is entirely possible that he just got really bored with the relationship and wanted to move on.
  • His emotional and sexual wants and desires weren’t met by you. Yup, some men are real jerks just because you won’t sleep with them.

I know it may seem hopeless now but I actually have good news for you if your ex gave you the “it’s not you, it’s me excuse” but first, there are a few things that you are going to have to do. Take out a sheet of paper and list all the real reasons that you can come up with that would make him break up with you. Here is the good news, the fact that your ex cared enough to lie to you, to spare your feelings, is not a negative thing, it’s actually a positive.

You Didn’t Appreciate Him

not appreciated

Unlike the reason above, this is a legitimate excuse for a guy to use. Here is the deal, if you were constantly nagging your ex or criticizing him there will eventually be a point where he can’t take it anymore. No one likes to be criticized every step of the way. In fact, nothing is a bigger turnoff to a man than a woman pointing out everything he is doing wrong. Men like to be admired and appreciated. Every time you nag or criticize him (to a great extent) you are hurting your mans confidence and lowering your value in his eyes. The good news in this case is that this is something you can fix since you control what you say. Take some time and really work on being less judgmental of him.

Lets Just Drop It (Silent Treatment)

dont wannt talk about it

I will say that out of all the reasons I listed on this page this one gave me the most trouble. The only thing I can think of, if your ex gives you this reason, is that he is really angry about something that he refuses to talk about it. I will admit, this reason is really tough to deal with because your ex boyfriend isn’t communicating with you at all. In any case, this one is going to require you to do some deeper digging internally.

You Cheated On Them


A very popular topic here on our site except usually people ask about it if they were the ones who were cheated on. In this case, we are flipping the coin and looking at how you can recover if YOU were the one who cheated on them. Cheating is kind of tricky, there is a lot to go into but I don’t think this is the page is the proper place to do so, I can tell you that usually women cheat for emotional reasons. Perhaps your relationship with your ex wasn’t good, was going downhill or he wasn’t giving you something that you needed. Whatever the case, think really hard about if you want to get back with a person that literally numbed you enough that you cheated on them. I have found that a lot of times women who cheated on their boyfriends and then wanted them back do so because they didn’t realize how good they had it with their ex boyfriend until they see how bad the relationship is with their new boyfriend.

If you are in that category, don’t worry, you can still get your ex boyfriend back. However, I want to ask you to consult the list of legitimate reasons before you go through with anything. If you consult the list and decide you still want your ex boyfriend back just realize that it is not going to be easy. You hurt this person and you are going to have to work extremely hard to gain back their trust. It’s possible, its just going to be really hard.

The Steps To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Getting your ex boyfriend back is a very complicated subject that few are willing to dive into, luckily, I am one of those few. Here is the deal though, I am not going to give you the exact steps to getting your ex back on this page. I already created a mega page that does just that. This baby is 10,000 words long, took me a month to finish and I am confident enough to say that it is the most comprehensive “get your ex boyfriend back” free guide that is currently in existence. Yup, I am that confident. Anyways, if you want the exact way to get a boyfriend back please visit the following page: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Learn How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Put your email address in the box to the right to follow along day by day as I show two women (Sarah and Kai) exactly what they need to do to get their ex boyfriends back.
795 Responses to How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If HE Broke Up With You
  1. AJ
    January 30, 2015 | 10:44 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I am so glad I found this website. My boyfriend of almost 4 months broke up with me 4 days ago. Everything was going well. We even had the perfect weekend. It was my turn to do date night so I took him out to dinner and drinks and then the following day we hung out with all of his friends (where he sat me down and said “This is my family and I am glad you are here”).

    Then on Monday he broke up with me bacause he said that I loved him too much and that he doesnt have those feelings for me. Which doesnt make sense because he calls everyday, says I am the best girlfriend he ever had, always comments on how I am beautiful, etc. I handled the break up well. I didn’t cause a big fight. I was just a little teary eyed and told him that he needs to think long and hard about this and that he is making a mistake and that his actions do not match his words. I let him out of my apartment and he just kept saying “I need to think” over and over.

    So I am doing the NC thing to see what happens.

    Do you think he just freaked out? I never used the L word with him. Very strange…

    • admin
      January 31, 2015 | 3:53 pm

      Probably a little freaked…

      But to be honest I think this is the perfect situation for NC.

  2. blahblah
    January 29, 2015 | 9:20 am

    I will keep this short. Okay, so we have been datingr since 1.5 years. We were together when he described his one nights stands girl’s body parts to me and for him she was a jackpot.e. I knew about her, but didn’t want to get into the details because i knew i would fight with him. I mean, who is happy to know about her boyfriends ‘best’ night with a girl. But he did get into the details. So, as we were arguing. He walked out on me right there and then and left me all alone, be broke up with me over texts and asked me never to contact him. I made a mistake and I contacted him the other day and asked him to get back with me, he told me he is over me and bored of me, that I can do way better than him and I should just move on, this relationship is a responsibility and he doesn’t wanna carry on with it. I have my birthday coming in about one week.I told him he just can’t leave me like that even when my birthday us near. But he cut the call anyway. What should I do?

  3. Kalley
    January 27, 2015 | 9:57 pm

    So, my particular situation isn’t covered anywhere I’ve looked. Hoping you could advise me because I’m lost.

    Four days ago, a mutual friend texted my boyfriend saying it was guy’s night. that same friend also invited my sister, a lady. I was naturally upset because it really seemed like more of a “not you” kind of party. I was a mess but didn’t try to stop him from going. Boyfriend dropped me off and went to the party.

    I texted him a few times that night, he replied. I texted him to let me know when he got home safe (sometimes they drink and drive) and he replied fifteen minutes later that he’s breaking up with me.

    3 years and he breaks up over text, no warning at all.

    I texted the friend the next day asking what happened, and he said I don’t know, but I’m here for you. I’m your friend.

    Later I found out that the friend had told my bf a story about how I said he would force me to get an abortion or he’d break up with me and that he threatened violence. That was an old rumor started two years ago by someone else, and the friend added in the violence part.

    I asked him if that’s why my bf broke up with me. He replied saying all these crazy things like I am emotionally abusive, controlling, manipulative, pathetic, and I’ve made everyone’s lives hell. I know I’m none of those things, and I still don’t know why he sent me all those texts out of nowhere. I asked if my bf said that, and the friend said he’s leaving what my bf said out of it. I told him I don’t believe any of what he’s told me and he said “don’t try to bend your mind against mine.” ??

    meanwhile my bf had said “we’ll talk. I just need space”. which I did not give… I asked him what happened and said I wanted to work it out and he said “it’s over. I’ve made up my mind. I’ll always love you I just can’t be with you.” but I’m suspicious that the friend made up his mind for him?

    I’m meeting him (my ex) on Friday to talk. idk what to do. I thought things were fine

    • admin
      January 28, 2015 | 3:21 pm

      So, your ex broke up with you over a rumor? Something thats not even true?

      • Kalley
        January 28, 2015 | 7:23 pm

        That’s just as much as I know. The friend won’t tell me what else was said or done, but told me “that doesn’t even matter. I told him that after he sent you the text.”

  4. Laurie
    January 25, 2015 | 9:12 pm

    I’ll try to keep this short. I’ve been friends with my ex for 7 years, dated him for the last 11 months. He broke it off with me last week. We had a great relationship, always had fun, respected each other, both easy to get along with, never had an argument, until one of his sons and my son (both 12) had an argument. This was about 3 months ago. That evening of their fight/argument, I called to let my ex know what had happened. I was under a lot of stress that day due to dealing with my ex-husband (emotionally abusive ex). I know that when I talked with my ex bf about the incident, I came across as accusing his son of things. I really wanted to just get both sides of the story. I later apologized for the way I came arcoss, and we briefly discuss what happened with the boys and I thought we had solved the problem. Ever since then, I felt, and he told me last week, that he had been pulling away from me. He says that he cares a lot about me, loves me, but isn’t in love with me. Says that he doesn’t think that his feelings are where they should be, when it’s almost been a year. I said, how can his feelings progress if he’s holding me at a distance. I asked him what he wants from me, he says he doesn’t know. I asked him what he’s thinking, he doesn’t know… Then says he just doesn’t think he can do it. ( the relationship). I’m so confused as to what went wrong. Things were great. He would tell me he loved me, call me beautiful, we had great chemistry. I sent one text, of course wanting to talk about what happened, I know… He never responded. Now we are both no contacting each other. It’s ripping my insides out. Is there any way to fix this?

    • admin
      January 26, 2015 | 3:55 pm

      Sure, but you may have to be the one that reaches out first and breaks the ice. Some men are going to be too stubborn for this.

  5. Alicia
    January 25, 2015 | 7:11 am

    Hey Kevin…
    My ex dumped me over a year ago, stating that I had been jealous and possessive towards him (when I truly was not). Three weeks later, he tried to apologize and asked to be my friend again… Since he thought it would not be fair for me to go back with him again after all the pain he put me through. I said yes, but never spoke with him again. Six months later, on a scholar event he showed off with his new girlfriend… I can say their relationship did not last, since I heard that she was such a complicated girl. I’ve un friended him and deleted any contact with him. I saw him last September by coincidence in a shopping mall but we did not speak to each other. Right now I see all the mistakes I did when we were together and I want him back…. Is there any chance? We have not seen or talked to each other for more that a year now :(

    • admin
      January 26, 2015 | 3:40 pm

      My name is not Kevin it’s Chris.

      WAs this meant for another expert?

      • Alicia
        January 27, 2015 | 4:22 am

        No, sorry, I’ve got confused. I meant to ask you, Chris… Whops

        • admin
          January 27, 2015 | 3:02 pm

          You were talking to Kevin over at How To Get Your Ex Back Permanently? huh?

          • Alicia
            January 27, 2015 | 3:50 pm

            Perhaps that is why I’ve got confused… But no, I really meant to ask you. Anyways, I guess I’m not getting any chance with him, no matter who answers me back. Thanks :/

  6. Alexandra
    January 22, 2015 | 12:44 pm

    Hi! What do I do if after(3 days after) I finish the no contact period we will meet at a birthday party. Should I text him first and meet at the party after? Or talk to him first at the party? And how should I act?

    • admin
      January 22, 2015 | 5:11 pm

      I’d say text first.

  7. Tanya
    November 27, 2014 | 2:24 pm

    Hi, Chris! I was in LDR with my ex for 7 months. We met in my country, and had extraordinary connection. He invited me to visit him in his country. After talking for few months by distance, he called me “a woman of my dreams” (physically, brains and personality), and that he is totally head over heels. He was very special for me too, so I was understanding, supportive, caring, etc. We agreed to meet somewhere in the middle of our countries, and spent awesome vacations together in Europe. After that he asked me to visit him again, and I bought non-refundable tickets to his country for New Year. But he dumped me few days later. He said he had absolutely amazing time with me, but he doesn’t think he will enjoy one more vacations together as much. I have the feeling that all he wanted is just one “adventure” with me. (His behavior changed after our trip, he didn’t seem as much interested anymore, and then we had a fight because he got angry when I said I miss him and don’t see anything in return anymore.)
    It was 2 months ago. I wasn’t acting needy, didn’t gnat him. When I found your site, I went in NC and completed 4 weeks. On 18th day he sent me a letter that he regrets of hurting such a fantastic girl, but he is just “incapable of love” (in general) and offered to be just friends. (So, I can still visit him). But how can I go to his country and act as friends if I have feelings for him and it all hurts as hell? I don’t want FWB situation. What do you think I should do?

    • admin
      November 28, 2014 | 3:19 pm

      Didyou read my LDR post yet?

  8. Lauren
    November 25, 2014 | 3:57 am

    MY boyfriend and I are both 23. We had a perfect relationship and both constantly told each other we made each other happy. This was the best relationship I have ever been in – he gave me attention and affection and love and respect. However, I did get down during the relationship because I couldn’t get a job after uni – I felt like I wasn’t doing anything with me life. He kept trying to make me happy – and I said he does make each day better for me, but he can’t make everything all better. I started to bring him down with my sad moods and he eventually got upset and broke up with me because he couldn’t make me happy and he said he constantly gets down when I am down. That night, I visited my ex to get advise from someone who knew me well – he told me to stop taking my emotions out on my boyfriend. The next day I went to speak to my boyfriend and we worked things out – the week proceeding things were perfect. However, he found out from his friend that I visited my ex and broke up with me. He says he can’t trust me ebcause I didn’t tell him myself, and his friends say he stupid if he keeps dating me as a I probably cheated. I told him I didn’t and tried to make him believe me, but he is angry and won’t listen. He said with some space things might be okay. But I was stressing and now he says I have smothered him and his decision is final. Last night I told him that it hurts he doesn’t believe me and that I would walk away like he wanted. We haven’t had contact since – I deleted his number and his facebook. Will he come back or is his decision final? We haven’t exchanged out things – should I contact him to do that and then begin no contact?

    • admin
      November 25, 2014 | 3:10 pm

      It is strange to get advice from an ex. I mean, if my significant other did that i’d be a little hurt too but I think breaking up with you is a very drastic step to take.

      I definitely think NC is the way to go…

      Do not see your ex again though (the one you got the advice from.) We don’t want to rock the boat even further.

  9. Catherine
    November 18, 2014 | 3:42 am

    My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago, we were only together for 8 months but I was in love with him. We got into little arguments most of the time over petty things and I’ll admit it was due to my insecurities and jealousy. I craved more attention from him, though he told me from the get go that he wouldn’t be the best boyfriend but that he’d try, I told him I could be a bit emotional and childish but that’d id try to tone it down best I could. We’d always talk about working things out until one night I found out about the death of my grandmother. I wasn’t extremely close to her but it affected me more than I thought it would, I got drunk and stayed at his house that night. He was playing his video games and I was on the couch. I got hurt that we were just sitting in silence and that he wouldn’t try to talk to me so I stated I was going to leave, He told me to catch the campus bus but I repelled and we got into a huge argument where I said things I didn’t mean, the night resulted in us going back inside in separation. I left the following morning and got a weird feeling in my gut. I apologized to him but this time I knew that it wasn’t enough, I could sense he was going to end things with me.The next couple days were the hardest, I called him one night and went over to his house and thats when he broke up with me. It was over. I miss him and I’ve tried to the not talking, the talking to him and nothings worked. I’ve been an asshole jerk in the process at the same time and I know thats pushing him away. I initiated the last text and we agreed to try and be friends this whole time but its hard when we both state we have feelings, but since he no longer tries to talk to me I feel like he’s over me. Idk what to do

  10. d
    October 28, 2014 | 6:35 pm

    my ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago, we have still had contact he keeps telling me there is no way we are getting back together, we have a child together so i would have to use minimal contact, he also is inviting me to do thing’s together with our son, i’m getting mixed signals from him is it too late to use no contact?

    • admin
      October 29, 2014 | 2:29 pm

      Just use MC you can’t do NC because of your son but MC can be super effective.

  11. confused
    October 17, 2014 | 12:43 am

    Hi, I really need some help getting my ex back.

    Long story short my ex and I were together for over a year, but he has been in a different state for some job training for six months. We would visit each other when we could and when we were together things were AMAZING. We could literally go grocery shopping and be the happiest people in the world. When we were away from each other we would skype every night and text constantly. He would talk about all these things we would have to do in the future. Then two weeks ago he found out his job would require him to live closer to me, but would require him to travel for months at a time, so he said he didn’t think je would be able to give me the attention I deserved. He was crying as he told me this and I could tell he really didn’t want to break up. He kept trying to reassure me that I would find someone else but all I could say was that I only wanted him. He mentioned that maybe we could work out in the future and let’s play it by ear. He was literally everything I ever wanted and more and there was absolutely nothing wrong with our relationship. I know how he felt and he did not want to do this. All I can think right now is that I will never find someone like him, and in order for me to be.interested in someone else they would have to be an exact copy of him. Normally after a breakup I want the person back but deep down I know they weren’t right for me but I don’t have that this time. My gut keeps telling me that this IS the guy for me, we were absolutely amazing together. I was willing to work through the distance, and was even willing to move to the same state he was to be stationed out of so that when he was home we.could spend time together. He was fine with this early in our relationship but in our last conversation when I mentioned this he said, in true engineer fashion “i think moving for love is stupid”. He has always been very focused on his career but I know what we had was stronger. We are on good terms and text occasionally. Pleqse help me get the man of my dreams back!

    • admin
      October 27, 2014 | 3:01 pm

      Did you tell him that you didn’t care if you didn’t get as much attention when he said it?

  12. Meredith
    September 3, 2014 | 4:44 pm

    Hi there, My relationship just ended a few days ago. I was very happy in it. I did not see it coming and I am still in shock. He had kidney disease and was hooked up to a machine five days a week for four hours. At the beginning, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I learned to support and accept it. Things were great and we both loved each other. A few weeks ago, he developed muscle spasms in his legs and could not sleep with me in same bed. I got a little upset and told him that it makes me sad. A week later I didn’t want to come over as it was 30 min. away. I got a little upset because I felt there was no effort and the bed thing was mentioned. He then called it quits via text message. My heart was broken and I went to talk to him the next day. I just cried. I can’t believe this. I am in so much pain and have started NC. We were supposed to be in Las Vegas right now, so these days are incredibly tough. This is a unique breakup. We never fought or argued. I feel so sad and guilty. Do you think he thinks of me? I love him so much. Never felt this way with a guy. Thank you.

    • admin
      September 4, 2014 | 11:57 am

      He probably feels he has no worth to you…

  13. Amber
    August 15, 2014 | 5:41 pm

    Hi Chris. My ex and I broke up two weeks ago. We hadn’t been getting along for quite some time and it finally imploded. The only contact we had until right before I moved out was about the move. Then I went to a concert the night before the move, posting pics on Facebook (he’s not my friend on there anymore), and I got a message which knowing him I knew was snide saying, hope you have fun tonight, ill be gone during the times you requested hopefully everything will be goin by then. I didn’t respond. I moved out just as planned to get four texts that night from him saying where’s that decorative bowl my brother bought me, it was on the ledge and I know bc I took pictures before you moved, I want it back what else did you take?? I called him back, let him know that the bowl was in the wine room on the bottom shelf with Halloween candy in it and it had been there since October! He apologized via text. Lastly, he messaged me saying I had left a boot, I told him to leave it on the doorstep. Then I had a moment of weakness, I asked if I could say hi when I picked it up, he said sure if he was home. As I was heading over to pick it up and literally coming down the street he messaged me, I’m about to leave, I’ll leave it on the doorstep. I pulled up, grabbed my stuff, and rang the doorbell. He acted very short, hey I’m about to leave. I said ok just thought I’d say hi, thank you! I left, feeling so awful!!!! I had another moment of weakness and called him, asking if he was going in a date bc he acted so strange just now, he said no that he was just leaving. And finally I sent him a text that night saying this, you know to be perfectly honest with you when you said I could stop by and say hi I got excited, got myself all pretty and smelling nice. Thank you for showing me how much you really want this over and snapping me back in to reality. I have the upmost confidence that not only will I find somebody who loves me but truly adores me, I’m excited for my future. Wishing you the absolute best!! It has been four days since then and not a word. At first I didn’t really miss him, it was such a nice break from the conflict. It’s really starting to kick in now, I miss him. So Chris, my question is this, have I done too much damage or is it too late? And if not, what should I do now??

    • admin
      August 18, 2014 | 12:20 pm

      You’ve done damage but its not irreparable…

      • Amber
        August 18, 2014 | 4:05 pm

        I have not had any contact with him since then. What is your suggestion now?

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