How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If HE Broke Up With You

Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO

There is no way around it, when someone breaks up with you, it sucks. Sometimes the blow can be softened if you had a feeling a breakup was coming soon but if you were completely caught off guard then your ego definitely took a pretty big blow :/. Nevertheless, the world isn’t over and you can definitely salvage the situation. This page is going to focus on what steps you can take to get your ex boyfriend back if he broke up with you. Now, I want to give you a little notice here, I am not one of those people that is going to fill your head up with all sorts of lies saying that the methods talked about on this page are guaranteed to have him crawling back to you. All I will say is this, if you follow the advice on this page your chances of getting him back will increase dramatically.

 Do You Have A Legitimate Reason?

seems legit

If you want this to work then you better have a legitimate reason for wanting to get back together with your ex. I can tell you I have heard a lot of stories from women wanting to get back with their exes except when I ask them “Well, what is your biggest reason for wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend?” they can’t come up with anything legitimate to tell me. Responses like:

  • “I miss him”
  • “He is the best I will ever date”
  • “I don’t want to be alone”

are NOT good enough. Trust me, if you don’t have a truly legitimate reason for wanting to be back with your ex boyfriend then I can assure you that you won’t get the happy ending that you are searching for (and for the record when I talk about a happy ending I mean having a long lasting HEALTHY relationship.) Now, the things that I talk about throughout this website will work on someone, even if you don’t have a legit reason, but almost always couples that reunite without a good reason don’t have a very healthy or long relationship. I want you to have a healthy and long relationship so that is why I am preaching this so much.

By now I am hoping that you are screaming at your computer “CHRIS, WHAT IS A LEGITIMATE REASON?” Well, there are a lot of legit and non-legit reasons to want to get back with an ex. I wrote an entire page covering them here: Legitimate Reasons To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend.

Alright, enough of this nonsense, lets get to the good stuff what do ya say?

Common Reasons He May Have Broken Up With You


As I am sure you have already figured out, men are quite complicated when it comes to relationships. There is a whole list of reasons that he may have potentially given you for the break up. Right now I don’t want you to worry about that, that is my job. What I am going to do for you is take the most common reasons that men use for a break up and tell you what they really mean. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that even though some of these reasons may be hard to face, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost, in fact, I think you will be fired up and ready to get him back after I break these down for you. Let’s take a look at the most common reasons:

  • The “it’s not you, it’s me” Excuse.
  • You don’t appreciate me
  • I don’t want to talk about it (Silence…..)
  • You Cheated On Them

The “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Excuse

its not you its me

Ah, the oldest excuse in the book. There are two big things you need to realize about someone who gave you this reason. First off, most of the time they are lying to you about the real reason why they wanted to breakup. Secondly, they weren’t specific about anything that you did that caused the breakup essentially leaving you in limbo land to wonder what went wrong. Off the top of my head here are some of the REAL reasons why they wanted to breakup:

  • They did not find you physically or emotionally attractive but cared enough about your feelings to not tell you to your face.
  • Some men have short attention spans and can get bored really fast. It is entirely possible that he just got really bored with the relationship and wanted to move on.
  • His emotional and sexual wants and desires weren’t met by you. Yup, some men are real jerks just because you won’t sleep with them.

I know it may seem hopeless now but I actually have good news for you if your ex gave you the “it’s not you, it’s me excuse” but first, there are a few things that you are going to have to do. Take out a sheet of paper and list all the real reasons that you can come up with that would make him break up with you. Here is the good news, the fact that your ex cared enough to lie to you, to spare your feelings, is not a negative thing, it’s actually a positive.

You Didn’t Appreciate Him

not appreciated

Unlike the reason above, this is a legitimate excuse for a guy to use. Here is the deal, if you were constantly nagging your ex or criticizing him there will eventually be a point where he can’t take it anymore. No one likes to be criticized every step of the way. In fact, nothing is a bigger turnoff to a man than a woman pointing out everything he is doing wrong. Men like to be admired and appreciated. Every time you nag or criticize him (to a great extent) you are hurting your mans confidence and lowering your value in his eyes. The good news in this case is that this is something you can fix since you control what you say. Take some time and really work on being less judgmental of him.

Lets Just Drop It (Silent Treatment)

dont wannt talk about it

I will say that out of all the reasons I listed on this page this one gave me the most trouble. The only thing I can think of, if your ex gives you this reason, is that he is really angry about something that he refuses to talk about it. I will admit, this reason is really tough to deal with because your ex boyfriend isn’t communicating with you at all. In any case, this one is going to require you to do some deeper digging internally.

You Cheated On Them


A very popular topic here on our site except usually people ask about it if they were the ones who were cheated on. In this case, we are flipping the coin and looking at how you can recover if YOU were the one who cheated on them. Cheating is kind of tricky, there is a lot to go into but I don’t think this is the page is the proper place to do so, I can tell you that usually women cheat for emotional reasons. Perhaps your relationship with your ex wasn’t good, was going downhill or he wasn’t giving you something that you needed. Whatever the case, think really hard about if you want to get back with a person that literally numbed you enough that you cheated on them. I have found that a lot of times women who cheated on their boyfriends and then wanted them back do so because they didn’t realize how good they had it with their ex boyfriend until they see how bad the relationship is with their new boyfriend.

If you are in that category, don’t worry, you can still get your ex boyfriend back. However, I want to ask you to consult the list of legitimate reasons before you go through with anything. If you consult the list and decide you still want your ex boyfriend back just realize that it is not going to be easy. You hurt this person and you are going to have to work extremely hard to gain back their trust. It’s possible, its just going to be really hard.

The Steps To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Getting your ex boyfriend back is a very complicated subject that few are willing to dive into, luckily, I am one of those few. Here is the deal though, I am not going to give you the exact steps to getting your ex back on this page. I already created a mega page that does just that. This baby is 10,000 words long, took me a month to finish and I am confident enough to say that it is the most comprehensive “get your ex boyfriend back” free guide that is currently in existence. Yup, I am that confident. Anyways, if you want the exact way to get a boyfriend back please visit the following page: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

697 Responses to How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If HE Broke Up With You
  1. mgm
    April 16, 2014 | 3:12 pm

    Please help. Desperate. My first love and I reconnected after 30+ years. We now been together for 4 yrs. He broke it off 3 weeks ago. We both love each other and always will. Were in our late 40′s. I want to say in the last 6 months I became clingy and he says I smothered him. We been together almost everyday for the 4 yrs together. He has mentioned how he wanted space and I panic.. so I became even more clingy after hearing he wanted space. I never gave him the space he wanted. I do admit now I was clingy n how I smothered him. I pushed him to the edge. He said his body is so numb and he dont care about nothing at all. Few days ago we met for the first time and he still dont want a relationship. He did give me kiss hello and complimented how I look. He also admitted he missed me. We did not live together but he still has some of my good clothes at his house and I still have his house key. So I been keeping a positive attitude that hope maybe another month or so we can slowly get through this. Please mostly asking men out there to please tell me something? Will there ever be a chance my first love will get over how I smothered him and being clingy and consider taking me back? I am seeking help for my self. I love and miss him so much. Please help with any advice… thanks.

  2. Christine
    April 13, 2014 | 9:24 pm

    Hi! I read your website, and really liked it. It helped me a lot to calm down my emotions and think my break up through. I would like to explain to you my situation, and see if you can advice me on how to proceed.

    My ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for about a year and things were going great. We are both divorced, in our 40′s, with pre-ten girls. We have the same faith, the same morals, the same values and the same goals in life. We built some great memories for us and the girls this last year.

    Everything was going smoothly until beginning of this year when we started talking about getting engaged and moving in together. All of a sudden, his daughter became very jealous of my daughter and I, she started having problems at school(grades and behavior) and started lying like crazy. Three out of 4 things she would say were exaggerations and/or lies. The excuse was that she was just seeking attention.

    All his issues with his daughter started bothering me a lot, especially all the lies, and I started to become very annoyed and critical of her behavior, instead of being understanding and supportive. So, three weekends ago we had a huge argument/fight about his daughter, how he is dealing with all her issues, and how his ex-wife is not taking any responsibility at all for it. I was very angry and emotional and, impulsively, said that I couldn’t stand his daughter’s lies anymore and that it was over. I left his house and left the key he has given me under the rug.

    This was on a Sunday night. On Tuesday I texted him in the morning saying that I had calmed down, thought things through, that I was selfish and immature during our fight, that I said things I didn’t mean to say, that I was really sorry, and that I would like to meet him for us to talk, as our relationship couldn’t end like this. He replied back, but he was really hurt and upset. He said that he was burned out about how the way my relationship with his daughter was going, and that he had lost faith in our love. He said that there was no way back, zero chance of us getting back together.

    I got desperate, and started exchanging some more texts with him basically blaming myself 100% for the break up, asking forgiveness and asking him to give me a second change, but he kept saying it was over, no second chances, etc. I finally said “OK, if that’s what you want, I will respect your decision. Don’t worry, you will not hear back from me anymore.” The last text I sent him was a little over 2 weeks ago.

    My questions to you are: first how can he go from one day saying that I was the love of his life, that he couldn’t wait to get married to me, etc to breaking up with me after our first fight? And not even wanting to give me a second chance? The only thing I can think of is that he probably never loved me at first place. Also, I have a lot of things at his house, as my daughter and I would spend the weekends there. I have our bikes, my dog’s pen, bed, toys, food, etc, plus a lot of other personal stuff. Should I contact him in order to arrange to stop by and pick up those things? Or should I wait until he contacts me about them? If a month goes by with NC, should my first contact be about getting my belongings out of his house? I’m sorry for all the questions, I’m just so hurt, and still not believe we broke up.

    Thanks! I appreciate your advice!

    • admin
      April 14, 2014 | 5:26 pm

      No you should do that before you go NC

  3. Kalley
    April 13, 2014 | 1:57 am

    Hi, Chris.
    I need a guy’s insight on my specific situation, but all my male friends just happen to be closer to my ex. I don’t want word getting back to him in case I end up sounding desperate (which I kind of am.) So I’m really hoping you can respond.

    About four days ago, my boyfriend of two years came home from college and work looking a little strange. I asked if he was okay, and he asked if I was happy. Ensue the enthusiastic Yes! Aren’t you? With a heavy sighed response of No. Apparently he’s been unhappy for quite awhile and we fight about little things too often. I tried to convince him we could fix it, he agreed that most of the time things are great, but in the end said it won’t work out. He then said he still loves me and agreed to see me in 7 days to discuss.

    Well. At the time I didn’t know of this website, so my no contact was short lived. Yesterday I texted him asking if he still wanted to see that movie we’d planned on and if not, that’s okay, I can get somebody else to go with me. He responded fairly quickly with “ya we can go see it together :) “. That’s still three days away ._.

    Please, please tell me if you think this means he’ll end up agreeing to work things out! He never said we broke up, he still loves me, our life goals are the same and we mesh perfectly. Currently I’m clinging onto the idea that since he used an emoticon, which is not so manly, that he is very happy we’re going to this movie and maybe it’ll be just like every other date night we’ve had. Quite the assumption, I know.

    Any insight / advice?

    • Kalley
      April 13, 2014 | 2:00 am

      I think I should add on that he’s planned very far ahead in our future for somebody so unhappy. Cage the Elephant concert tickets in May, kayaking trips, his family reunion over the summer, even getting an apartment together in the fall when he transfers to the U of M. Neither of us believes in marriage but he’s always talked about forever.

    • admin
      April 13, 2014 | 4:52 pm

      Hahaha its an emoticon.. don’t get overly excited about it but the fact of seeing the movie together is a good thing.

      • Kalley
        April 13, 2014 | 5:48 pm

        Well I’ve read your guides on what to do on a date with your ex and how to implement texting to get an ex back and a few others. Thanks to you, I’m feeling pretty positive and confident in my next steps. If things don’t work out, I can set the NC into motion and I might just end up moving on in the process. Thanks a bunch, Chris!

  4. Kiri
    April 9, 2014 | 9:07 pm

    My boyfriend and I were going out for 2 years, he says that he needs time but he is still texting me I am willing to give him time to. My birthday is in a couple of days and he has gotten me a present, I don’t know how to feel about it I love him so much and he is really confusing me. We broke up 3-4 weeks ago and I try not to text and call but it’s really hard. He says that he still cares about me and he doesn’t feel that it has to forever, but then when we talk he says he doesn’t know how he feel and that we might not be able to fix it I have talk about our problems and there is only its that we fight about small things and disagree. I am ment to be seeing him this week for my birthday and he we can talk about everything.

  5. tyanna
    April 8, 2014 | 6:44 pm

    my ex boyfriend and we are not get back to

  6. Ali
    March 26, 2014 | 1:54 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me recently. I thought everything was going fine, but apparently, it wasnt. He came out of nowhere and said he didn’t feel the same as he did a few weeks ago, and that he just wasnt having fun anymore. I cried for 3 days, and I practically begged for a second chance. After begging, he finally said okay, but later that night he texted me and said he just couldn’t do it. He said he couldn’t see us dating and didn’t want to get my hopes up. He said he still wants to be friends tho. I would avoid him, but unfortunately I have a class with him and we sit at the same table. I really want him back, and I feel hopeless right now. My heart breaks whenever I see him, and I just want him back before its too late..

  7. Kaylie
    March 25, 2014 | 8:43 pm

    Hi, so my boyfriend and I had been dating almost 7 months. He has had an awful past which has led to anger and trust issues. I finally convinced him to get help with this so he can really be happy. He broke up with me saying, “I do love you and want to be with you. I just can’t right now and maybe our paths will cross again.” I let him be for a bit but we talked and got in an argument and suddenly he said he never wanted to see me again, he didn’t want me anymore, and he was going to move on. Well, my best friend has talked to him and at first he sounded like he was very sad about it. We were very serious. Now he’s starting to say that he just wants to move on with his life. It’s been a week since we’ve talked/broke up and he hasn’t called or texted. I just want to talk things out but everyone says don’t, let him come to you. Is the NC rule what’s best?

    • admin
      March 26, 2014 | 5:09 pm

      At this point yes.

    • Cindy Dsouza
      March 27, 2014 | 5:32 am

      hi kaylie thisis cindy i wanted to know did the NC rule worked out

  8. Robyn
    March 20, 2014 | 9:43 pm

    Hey my ex broke up with me over a month ago we had no contact for 5 weeks and then i suddenly saw him on a bus journey and we decided to be friends. So he re added me on Facebook etc. Hes acting jealous with my guy mates and He was wanting to meet up with me but he kept making excuses at first even though it was him asking to meet up? it was like he was emotionally using me so i did 7 days no contact and he contacted me 5 days in asking me how i was etc and saying he isnt well atm and wants to meet up. I agreed to meet up with him so we did it felt strange but i tried to make him feel comfortable. He spoke about other girls hed been hanging out with and i got jealous and then further throughout the day i got upset and said i cant do the friend thing i cant watch him get with other girls. He said he wont do that hes not ready for that yet and he wants to be best friends with me he doesnt want to lose me again. He also admitted to me that he cried when i was ignoring him and being blunt with him. He wants to meet again next week but on messages hes being real blunt with me now since we met up.
    I dont have a clue what hes thinking or what hes planning. My best boy mate said that he thinks he is trying to keep me close as he still wants his freedom and once hes bored he will come flinging back to me. What do you suggest i should do now? i am really stuck :(

    • admin
      March 21, 2014 | 5:06 pm

      Your best boy mate is very smart. Thats exactly what hes doing which is why NC is perfect. Make a strong statement that you aren’t going to just wait around for him. He will regret it trust me.

  9. Marissa
    March 1, 2014 | 5:39 pm

    My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me 3 weeks ago out of the blue. We had a great relationship and he was always honest with me about everything. He showed a great deal of respect and care for me. But after not contacting me for 2 days, he sends me a text saying that we need to talk. We meet up at my house and he drops the bomb. He says that the way that his life is headed, he does not see us being together. He didn’t really give a reason. He also said that he did not care as much as I did and that he made his decision and I can’t get him back. But again, he didn’t really give a reason. This just literally came out of nowhere. Whenever we were together he always showed a great deal of affection and care. His family knows me. We’ve hung out together with them at gatherings. The worst part of all is that we work in the same building and his brother is my supervisor. He wasn’t cruel or cold about the breakup at all. He was sweet and genuine but it still broke my heart. He says we can be friends but obviously, I’m writing you on this website because I want him back. I went 17 days without contact until I ran into him at work yesterday when I was trying my hardest to avoid him, and we both smiled and he said hi and asked how I was doing. I said “Fine” and kept walking because I didn’t want to risk any awkward moments. Later that day, I did text him because it was his mother’s birthday (she passed away 4 years ago) and I was concerned about his well being. Luckily his response was positive but I didn’t push my luck because I knew I broke the NC rule but I couldn’t help myself and I miss him dearly. In retrospect, I did have a lot of issues that I needed to work on (self esteem, confidence wasn’t all that great) and maybe he just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m not so sure. He was wonderful and nurturing and although our relationship wasn’t perfect, it was something that I could say is worth fighting for. He said he didn’t want to lead me on into thinking that he wanted to continue in this relationship. He was saying all these things without telling me where they came from. It seemed to have been built up for a while and he couldn’t hold back anymore. But he never acted that way when we were together. He was funny, attentive and smart and wouldn’t ignore me. He would apologize whenever necessary and had no problem admitting he was wrong. Some of the things I’ve done with him and told him I’ve never done with any other man. This is why the breakup is confusing. There were no red flags or warning signs, maybe there were that I couldn’t see until it was too late.

  10. leah
    February 24, 2014 | 12:26 pm

    Hello. I really need help. Im a singlemom. I met this guy last year and weve been together since june 2013 until feb.20. During our first 3months, i already felt that he was serious on our relationship. However because of my past experiences with the father of my kid, i acted like an idiot at some point but i showed care and love. Mid november he and his mom experienced financial crisis and i felt like i really didnt do anything just to make him feel better or support him whatever theyve been through. After christmas, we have a huge fight and i just realized that he is starting to get cold and saying that he had enough and wanted to break up on me. I felt really bad. Then i got paranoid after. He asked for space on jan 4 and i felt too bad about it and i over-think things a lot. Comes to a point that i committed suicide at their place for 4 times. I really felt shame about it and regret that attempts. I talk to him and promised not to do it again however its like he is not interested anymore. I asked for another chance and i said i will make the most of it like giving him a surprise party on our monthsary. I didnt start an immature fights as well but what i did is to stick to him all the time. However, its like he is not happy anymore. I tried to talk to him many times. He said he appreciated all of my efforts however the anger that he felt on the father of my kid, his frustrations is really killing him. He always says that he wants to move on with our realationship and is willing to meet new people. He also added that its like he didnt feel the love anymore but only responsibility that if he will break up on me, ill do suicide again. On the bright side, he assured that he is happy with me but at the end of the day, he said that the right thing to do is to stop our relationship.Because of his reasons, i have the courage to left him without saying goodbye. After 2days he sent me a text message saying that we need to heal ourselves without the help of each other. On the last part of the message, he said goodbye. I didnt replied. Obviously, im here on your page and still wanting to have him back. Do you think that he will be back after i will follow your tactics? I am willing to do the NC rule..

  11. sandra
    February 21, 2014 | 11:29 am

    what if he broke up out of fear. He is an ex user (5 years clean) and has has 2 long term failed relationships where he got mind numbingly hurt. Abandoned by both women and his children abandoned. He was in love with me for sure, happy, compatible, didn’t fight, great sex, laughter etc etc. Just an awesome relationship. We both admitted it, although it was fast. Only a few months of fulltime contact.
    His kids, as a result are very bonded to me…they needed that too.
    As soon as his ex of 2 yrs previous piped up and made waves he kind of went into a depressive sadness, broke up with me citing that he wanted to have me in his life forever and to be platonic would be the only sustainable way.
    She really hurt him and his kids. They are not getting back together and he is still currently dealing with left over feelings about that relationship, the rejection and worthlessness feelings.

    so, he also cites that 90%+ junkies in recovery relapse after big breakups. She triggered him big time and he projected the implications onto our relationship. He texts me and wants to take the kids bike riding etc… he misses me, is attracted to me…but is so damned fearful of a romantic connection with me now. We got so close and it scared him half to death. He said he just couldn’t go further down that road when it ends so catastrophically. And he is all his kids have…= valid reasons really but not an absence of love, just an unwillingness to love deeply.

    How (and should) I implement no contact. I think he is trying to wean himself off me romantically.

    BTW. He is an outstanding person. 5 years in NA and raising his kids alone. He is a hero to me and my best friend.


    • sandra
      February 21, 2014 | 11:47 am

      Oh and he is pretty stoic with discipline due to being in NA so long. I fear he will just stick to his decision. He is likely to hook up with casual girls to fill that void, so to speak.
      He has demonstrated that he will text me first as I do not initiate and in the past he grieves the girls that got away for sure (healthy male ego there)… thanks

      • sandra
        February 23, 2014 | 1:30 pm

        please Chris could you delete my posts. I need to keep my situation private.

        • admin
          February 24, 2014 | 6:03 pm

          Ok, Ill try my best.

  12. Claudia
    February 19, 2014 | 9:15 am

    My boyfriend just gave us a time so he can think and or erasure his feelings for me, yesterday he told me we needed to break up, he was so mad, today I made another huge mistake and went to his parents house to give him a huge letter apologizing ( when we started dating I didn’t really show him affect I was scared to break up with him just like now and being miserable he is the most hart warmed man I know and he took so much care of me even defending me and stuff, he did a lot for me and all I did was disrespect him using other boys to make him jealous, never go your with none of then but just tried to make him jealous) now the point is his family especially his mom thinks I’m a horrible person for disrespecting her son that much, it’s been 2 months since I made the change but I think it too late to treat him how he deserves it, we had this horrible fights and all I did was cry cry cry and he felt even worse, I don’t know what to do to make him believe that I truly love him and respect him, now everything’s seems to be falling apart and I feel so guilty I can’t handle this anymore, I just want to know, that know that he told me “well Claudia let’s make time goes by and see what happens” but I know eh kind of means ” let me have the courage I need to break up definatlly with you”, I don’t know what to do anymore we spend so much time together in this and now even his family hates me, I have had so much happiness and so do him, but everything seemed so good to be true, we both were scared I just don’t want to hurt him anymore, I want him to be happy, but without hating me, I just messed up something really important and I know no ones gonna love and treat me that we’ll and I don’t even see me dating someone else, he triggered me by saying that this will make him see if I really love him, what do I do? Please help me

    • admin
      February 19, 2014 | 7:27 pm

      Have you gon eNC yet?

  13. Lucy
    February 17, 2014 | 9:44 pm

    Me and my boyfriend split up on Saturday and it always seems to be when drink is involved! We was out with are friends and he just left me and went home.He text half hour later and said it’s over but has done this many times and then gets in touch. He says it’s because we always argue but I wouldn’t say we do that much! It’s so hard not to text him but he really confuses me! what should I do? I have not spoke to him for a day now.

    • admin
      February 18, 2014 | 7:02 pm

      Are you through with the NC yet?

  14. Michelle
    February 16, 2014 | 9:29 am

    I started nc again but I feel like he left me because he cheated on me. I checked his snapchat profile thing and it said his best friend is some girl. He told me that none of his friends talk to him anymore and haven’t for a while and blah blah. So he left me for another girl didnt he… How can I get him back? I don’t know how long he’s been speaking to this other girl or what he’s doing behind my back because it’s a ldr. He always seemed so honest and sincere when I saw him in person though, like he was compeltly in love with me and tjat was only 3 weeks ago. 2 days before the breakup he told me he could never stop loving me even if he wanted to.I hope this is just a rebound relationship. I want to talk to her and find out if they have anything but I don’t know if I should. I just want him back so bad but now I’m not sure if I have a chance. She could be some girl that’s with him in person and it’ll probably be better for him than having to travel to come see me.. But we were together for 2 years and 3 months he bought me an expensive promise ring why would he move on so quickly? I don’t even know what to do. I don’t think if I do nc he’ll want me back he’s got some other girl now I guess..

  15. Jessica
    February 15, 2014 | 11:21 pm

    Hey my boyfriend broke up with me recently and it has taken a huge toll on me. I know I’ve changed over the years we’ve been together. I’ve became paranoid with insecurities. And that’s the reason why we broke up recently, and he says he’s done with relationships and he don’t want me back but then his answer changed to a maybe we might get back together in the future but not right now. I still feel very unconfident. We was together for 4 years a valentines day was supposed to be our anniversary. And I really need some advice to getting him back…

    • admin
      February 16, 2014 | 6:12 pm

      Have you attempted NC rule at all yet?

  16. Nathalie
    February 15, 2014 | 6:40 am

    It’s been 3 weeks now we’ve broke up. We were together for 16months and he thought about our relationship a month and a half before our breakup. He’s a gamer and has a big ego, he knows it and he’s trying to change that. I brought stupid fights because he would ignore me and sometimes i would get jealous because he’d ditch me to go with his friends. We got too comfortable in our relationship. We talked about it and i agreed to this decision and stay friends. During the first week after our break up, we would talk to each other like we were friends again but after that week, he would stop talking to much little by little and he said i was too clingy. So i gave him some space and i would ask him if he was doing fine in his studies/life because he was in depression when he was young and i’m worried for that. We saw each other 2times after our break up to go watch a movie with some friends and I noticed that he was trying to do some eye contact with me. I’ve been closer/hanging out with his friends and he’s been closer with a girl that he was already close with when we were dating but i know that he used to have a crush on her before we were dating. I talked to him after a few days after for a job that he needed. But today, my friend told me that he is happy for me that i’m not sad or down. He doesn’t mind that we stay friends but i want to talk to him but i don’t want him to feel that i’m being too clingy.. I thought i’ve moved on after two weeks but i’ve been thinking about him two days ago. I’d like to win his heart back because i’ve been in so much struggles and he was there and fought for me. There’s no other guy like him that can understand me. All our friends were shocked that we broke up because we seemed like a perfect couple. If he had any problems or need money for something important, i’ll go right away to see him and be there for him. Because he’s younger than me and i’m more mature than him, people say that he’s still just a child. But i showed them that he isn’t and defended him. I don’t know if it’s too late to win him back or i still have that chance. my friend (the girl who’s close with him) said that he told her that he’s a guy who moves on fast. i don’t know if they still talk but she’s getting annoyed that he’s always talking to her. It seems that he moved on.. Should i do the steps? I saw the video on youtube about the cruciel steps and it seems a good idea but since i’ve talk to him after our break up and saw him 2-3times, i don’t know if it will still work.. I’ll try anything to win him back. Please help me..

    • Nathalie
      February 15, 2014 | 6:44 am

      And one thing i forgot, i’m taking most of the blame of our breakup because i’m the one who was stubburn, jealous, immature and brought the stupid/useless problems and i would react without thinking about it when i’m mad/pissed

    • admin
      February 15, 2014 | 6:24 pm

      Well, have you started NC?

  17. Liz
    February 13, 2014 | 4:03 am

    I know I’ve been all over the place on your guides. But I’ve just realized something that, well let’s face it I’ve always known but only now can voice, I was emotionally abusive. Do I even have a right to try to win him back? Do I have a right to be his friend? I really hurt him. He put up with months of it and warned me constantly that I needed to change and I said I would and then I’d slip up again. I had no right to be emotionally abusive, he was a great boyfriend. He was amazing. It was me who was messed up. I needed to work on myself. I’m thinking now, is it better for me to stop being his friend, and let him go so he can truly be happy, no matter how much it hurts me?

    • admin
      February 14, 2014 | 3:03 am

      What do you think? Really the truth is you know you better than I know you so I can’t tell you what to do when it comes to this.

      • Liz
        February 14, 2014 | 6:43 am

        I think I have to reverse a lot of my thinking that goes back many years. I still need to work on myself quite a bit in order not to let that behavior or mindset to occur again whether with my ex (if I somehow win him back) or in the future with someone new. I’m slowly but surely forgiving myself and I hope I can manage to change that behavior. Maybe then I have hope of winning him back, but he has made it clear that he’s happier now and that we should just be friends. The fact that he was crying while saying this and very emotional to the point that he wanted to leave my presence, shows to me that I did hurt him a lot. I don’t want to hurt someone like this ever again. I was emotionally abusive in that I was possessive, jealous and tried to isolate him and it was wrong of me. I was consumed with fear of losing him and that fear made it a reality. I’m going to stay his friend for as long as I can and who knows what the future holds, but for now I’ve gotta take it a day at a time. I truly appreciate your help every time you’ve answered my questions and your guides have been extremely helpful. Thank you so much Chris.

  18. Bobbi
    February 6, 2014 | 12:07 am

    I just lost my boyfriend. We were together for over 2 and a half years and he left me Monday night. We were in a long distance relationship so I was always a little weary about him. I’d always ask him if he was cheating or doing things that would hurt me. I took it too far one day and he left me. We did it over Skype and we were both balling our eyes out. The next day, I was a titch crazy and was trying to get him back by texting and calling and trying to get his attention, but it only made him mad and he told me that we’re not getting back together, to move on and to give him space. Our relationship was so special, and we were so in love that anyone could see it. We had big plans as soon as I got out of school and he told me everyday that he would wait for me. I messed up so bad and I just want to make things right and get him back. He’s my other half and I know what I was his. I’ve realized what I’ve done wrong and why he left me and I would do anything to make it right and to mend things up with him, I just dont know what to do. I need my soulmate back.

    • admin
      February 6, 2014 | 5:43 pm

      Have you read my page on LDR?

      • Bobbi
        February 8, 2014 | 5:17 pm

        Yes I have.

  19. Rachel
    February 4, 2014 | 10:11 pm

    My boyfriend and me were together for 10 months.
    The weekend before new years eve he had a break down and i wasnt awake to hear it so he went to his friend Carrie to talk to her instead. After i found that out i was really upset cause he wouldnt talk to me. Then monday he said we needed a break cause i was so upset cause i didnt understand what was going on. Me being stupid i freaked out over the thought of a break. Ater 5 days of not speaking to each other at all he said he couldnt be with me. We just couldnt be together. When we brokeup together in person he said he couldnt be with me he just couldnt and i tried to get him to explain and he wouldnt. He said he really hopes in the future that we could be together when our lives were straightened out. I said i didnt know where i would be then and he said he would find me. He said we could be friends eventually. He’s deleted all our pictures together and we dont speak at all really. He recently has started liking my pictures on my instagram and its starting to upset me. Should i move on or not. I was his longest girlfriend we fought at times but we usually pushed through it. This breakup happened so fast and we were together for so long, I just dont understand how he could throw it away if he “loved” me so much. He’s a senior in highschool and im in my first year of college. His parents just divorced and i dont know anything about it really. He doesnt talk he keeps alot bottled in. Im afraid i hurt him so badly he pushed me away.
    Idk what to do.
    I want to move on and be happy but i loved him so much and every thing and every place i go i remember him. It really fucking sucks, cause i thought he was perfect and that we were happy. Then everything came crashing down so fast. Im left here alone. He talks to my friends and all of his friends deleted me and wont speak to me. Idk what to do. It feels like this all is my fault.

  20. Ashley
    February 4, 2014 | 8:37 pm

    Hi everyone my bf just broke up with me sat. we have been together almost a year the 14th of feb would have made it a year…but any ways we never fight n we were really happy everything was going great we got along, we never fought it was perfict to me then i stared a new job and i had been coming home cranky well that sat morning i was telling him i didnt want our dogs on the bed any more and ask how we was going to fix it so it was no longer a problem. he yel n said y dont you move out…i was shocket and ask him in a clam maner n i had tears in my eyes he said since we got together he has felt like something was missing..i asked him y did you tell me you loved me, i told him when we frist started to date not to spar me my feelings just tell me the truth n he told me the reason y he never told me this is case he cared alot for me n that i was good to him n he didnt want to hurt me. he had said that it had been more n more on his mind this past week. so the problem is we live together so i packed some clothes n went to my sisters for a week i am on day 2 of NC just trying to heal n give us both space in time. i had plan on going back home ether friday or sat to sit n talk. what should i do. this was out of the blue n it hurt sooo much. i do love him n miss him alot but idk what to do n if i should have any hope of us getting back together. so for now i have been hitting the gym with my sister n focuing on my new job. so what should i do??

    • admin
      February 5, 2014 | 6:35 pm

      Just keep doing what you are doing during NC! Keep improving and evolving.

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