What We'll Cover
Est Read Time - 6 Mins
Contacting an ex boyfriend can be tricky. This is especially true if you have plans on getting him back. Look at this page as your ultimate guide for deciding how you should contact your ex. If you don’t already know, I put this site together with one ultimate goal, to create the best resource for women who want to get their ex boyfriends back. This page is going to look at every single aspect of how someone should be contacting their ex. We will weigh the pros and cons of every single method and I will show you which method the experts recommend.
Before You Do Anything Make Sure
That you have started your no contact period. If you don’t believe in a no contact rule or don’t know what one is I need you to stop reading this page and check out this one. Also, if you are eager to get your boyfriend back right away but don’t quite know what to do please check out my page on how to get your ex boyfriend back. I literally spent a month writing that especially long guide and so far it has garnered a lot of interest. Oh, and FYI it will take you about 30 minutes to finish, no joke!
Contacting An Ex
(To learn more about how to properly contact your ex boyfriend please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)
Alright, lets jump right in to this. I do feel compelled to mention that most women make a serious mistake when they want to contact their ex boyfriend. The average woman who really wants their ex back becomes what I like to call a text gnat. Have you ever had a gnat fly around your head? No matter how many times you swat at it, it just doesn’t seem to leave you alone. I hope you are seeing the analogy here, you are the gnat. Every time you text him he is probably rolling his eyes, getting angry or getting you angry. In short, texting him like a mad woman isn’t a smart idea.
In fact, right after a breakup (especially if he broke up with you) he is expecting you to beg for him back. He is expecting you to text or call him like crazy. So, I am going to recommend that you refuse to contact him after a certain amount of time, 30 days to be exact (you learn that in the articles I recommended above.) So, instead of him rolling his eyes every time he sees your name in caller I.D.. His whole world will have shifted and he is going to be wondering why you aren’t begging for him back.
It’s amazing what a bit of silence will do for you!
- Do not even think to contact your ex boyfriend until 30 days of silence are up.
- Doing this will cause him to wonder why you aren’t begging for him back.
Ways To Contact Your Ex Boyfriend
(To learn more about the different ways to contact your ex please check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)
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Ok, there are a lot of different ways you can contact someone you used to have a relationship with. Some of them are extremely good and some of them aren’t. This section is going to explore the three of the most popular methods that ex girlfriends use to contact their ex boyfriends.
Calling Via Phone
Ah yes, the dreaded phone call. Phone calls are interesting because they can be used effectively and you can have great success with them. However, it isn’t a matter of just picking up the phone, calling up your ex and gushing your heart out to them. No, calling on the phone has to be done in a specific way in order to maximize your success (which I will outline later.) Lets look at some of the pros and cons of calling on the phone.
Pros- Things can get emotional in a good way!, You can get a definitive answer anytime you ask an important question., You can actually hear your significant others voice.
Cons- Things can get emotional in a bad way., Calling doesn’t give you time to think, anytime they ask you a question you have to answer quickly., It is easy to get into an argument again., Higher chance of getting into a fight.
Writing A Letter
Writing a letter is an interesting tactic for first contact. I do know that a few experts who sell their own products recommend this but if I am being completely honest I am not a fan of this tactic at all. Basically how this works is that you write a letter professing your undying love for your ex and how you would like to reconnect. The biggest problem I have with this method is the fact that if you literally went through the 30 day no contact period, without contacting your ex once, it might seem a little creepy if he opens his door to find a letter from you professing your undying love.
Pros- If your ex is into letters this tactic might very well work.
Cons- Can be very creepy if done incorrectly, There is no way to get an immediate response like with calling or texting, After a no contact period writing a letter professing your love may actually hurt you more than help you.
Writing A Text Message
It just seems like texting came out of nowhere. Pretty much 90% of the people who have a cell phone all utilize text messaging. Text messages are sacred to everybody. Have you ever tried to take one of your friends phones and read their text messages in front of them. Trust me, they get either uncomfortable or very angry. This can give you a distinct advantage when texting your ex. They will take your texts seriously and they probably won’t be shared with anybody. It is a way that you can talk to your ex in a very personal way without actually being out with them one on one physically.
Pros- Texting is very intimate, ability to share cute pictures, It is impossible to raise your voice through a text message, you can actually think before you send anything.
Cons- Honestly I can’t think of any.
(Special Instructions On Texting- Text messaging an ex boyfriend is complex. While I would love nothing more than to write a million words on the topic I don’t have the time or patience for that so what I am going to do for you is recommend that you check out my book, The Texting Bible if you are interested in learning how the entire process works.)
3 Steps To Correctly Contact Your Ex
(For more in-depth information on the 3 steps to contacting your ex check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)
Alright, in this section I am going to briefly describe the “game plan” for contacting your ex. In no way is this set in stone. However, your best chance of getting him back could very well be the strategy I describe here. I also do want to point out that all I am going to talk about here are the bare essentials. I am not going to go into what you should be saying when you contact him, I wrote an entire page for that.
Step 1: Implement the No Contact Rule. Basically for 30 days you cannot talk to your ex via texting, calling, facebooking, googling, etc. If you screw up and contact him before the 30 days is up then you have to start all over from day 1.
Step 2: After your 30 days are up you are ready to make first contact. The best way to make first contact in my opinion is via a text message. However, you need to make this text message so interesting and fascinating that it will be impossible for him not to respond. That is the way you need to treat this first text. Again, I am not going to give examples here. The page I talked about above has plenty and teaches you how to correctly communicate with your ex via a text message.
Step 3: Once you have reached the ideal place in your communication you are going to ask for a hangout or small meet up if he hasn’t already suggested it. Again, a lot has to happen between step 2 and step 3 and you are going to have to read this page for that. However, you aren’t going to ask for the hang out via a text message you are going to ask for it via a phone call. This is the correct way to use a phone call, after you have already established some rapport with each other. Again, if you want to know what to say during this call you are going to have to visit the page I keep telling you to go read, hint hint!