The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Emma

July 17, 2016 at 5:53 pm

My ex and I broke up 4 months ago after a long term relationship. It was very random and he struggled to tell me a reason why. I started a NCP a few days after, and a week later he started dating his best friend. Once we got into contact again, we were very friendly with each other, and even quite flirty. He seemed quite miserable about his life and denied being with the other girl. After 3 months of talking, I asked him why he was being so flirty – he said he missed me. I told him that I don’t want to be strung along and he needs to figure out what he wants. I eventually told the other girl about his NSFW messages and pictures to me, and she was extremely angry. My ex burst out that he still loves me and that he misses everything that we had – he wanted nothing more than to see me that day. However, when he got to my house, he told me that he was staying with the other girl. I was so angry and confused that I slapped him! But he said he deserved it. He even kissed me goodbye. I don’t know why he’s staying with her, she spammed my messages with abuse and is incredibly spiteful for no reason. I think he’s staying with her because he could lose friends if he breaks up with her. Our feelings for each other are still there, I just don’t know what to do!

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 1:38 pm

hi Emma,

good news, he still loves you but you have to start ignoring him for now and then going out with friends and dating too for him to realize that you’re not waiting

FIRST LOVE SOS PART 1

July 17, 2016 at 2:56 pm

My boyfriend of a year & a half broke up with me only almost a week ago & it’s been really difficult, he was my first love, first everything, although we started to fight a lot towards the end of our relationship, I’d like to think that it was still great. We never had any problems with being able to still focus & prioritize on other people & things like family & school while we were together & we were both never restrictive & very supportive of whatever the other wanted to do, so yeah, no problems involving jealousy because we had strong trust & loyalty to each other, there’s no cheating or other people involved with my situation, anyways fast forward, I’ve actually been away this entire summer for almost 3 months & he broke it off with me because he said crying, although he didn’t want to feel like this, he said he was losing affection for me, towards the end of my relationship I guess I saw that kind of change, the way it seemed as if the effort he put into me had lessened & I was in denial but every time I went to him for reassurance he said he didn’t know if he still wanted this or if he was happy but still said he loved me… Anyways, two days after the breakup (through Skype) we did decide to skype again for “closure” & such & ended up making an agreement that we are still important & that we care for each other that we still wanted to be in each others’ lives, we said that maybe with space & time that would be possible, at first I believed so too, but then he MESSAGED me the day right after to just say hi, at first I was happy that we decided to not block each other & still reply & I was happy he was thinking about me enough to message me but I realized that if I was still in his life like this, he would never feel the fullness of his consequence from leaving me if I was still around, the next day I called him to say that I made a mistake about being okay with still being in contact when I even told him before making his decision that if he chose to leave & stood his ground on it, I would have to stand my ground about not letting me have him in his life anymore, he said he understood this but his last message was something like wanting to see me after I got back from my trip (which will be in like a week and a half :-(( to give me the presents he bought me while I was away, but I know that I am not ready to see him because I am still so upset about what’s happening & it hurts to know that instead of coming back & going on a date with my boyfriend whom I haven’t seen in months, he will be waiting for me to come back just to say goodbye, people keep giving me scenarios about what could happen if he did see me again in person: maybe he’ll see me & fall in love again or maybe he will see me & realize that he really doesn’t have affection for me anymore, but since he’s not even giving me a chance to change his mind, I don’t want to give any of those possible scenarios a chance & I’m trying to stick to saying that I don’t want to see him at all because I don’t owe him anything anymore anyways & that if giving me his gifts are so important to him he can find a way himself to give them to me without me exerting effort to reach him since I’m trying to cut him out of my life but I have a hard time knowing if this is the right thing to do since I actually still do love him & want him back in my life, as of right now, he knows that I’m not okay with him contacting me so he hasn’t but I don’t know what to do now, did I already screw up my chances of him ever regretting it & wanting me back?? please help :-(((

FIRST LOVE SOS PART 3

July 17, 2016 at 3:02 pm

I know that right now I should focus on myself & improve myself which I can say I’m in the process of doing & stop asking our mutual friends how he’s been holding up, I’m scared about going back from my trip, since he is waiting for a better time to message me again because he wants to respect my space when I called him out on it during the call, it’s possible he may message me about when we’d want to meet in person to talk & say our goodbyes when he sees I am no longer putting in any effort to have him in my life by cutting him off completely during NC, but I’m scared that he will move on & not put in any more effort to see me if I don’t at least reply to him saying something like “sorry I’m still not ready to see you & wish for more space & time, I would appreciate if you kept my things on hold with you until a better time” but during NC, I shouldn’t even reply to that too right..? Do you have any specific advice on how to deal with my certain situation…
FIRST LOVE SOS PART 2

July 17, 2016 at 2:58 pm

I’ve been updated on how he’s doing from a few mutual friends (even though ik to recover I shouldn’t be caring about how he is & such & shouldn’t feed on his emotions, such as if he feels sad, it makes me happy, & if he’s happy, it’ll make me sad, I know I can’t build up any progress in myself like that) my boyfriend has never been the typical “guy” he’s very private about his life, & soft spoken, but very sensitive so he does show a lot of emotions, I know that he has been staying home recently & isn’t doing that “hey I’m single let’s go out & party & find new chicks” thing, I know that he’s sad about the situation & it’s hard on my end (although I think I can fairly say it’s harder on my end since I know my feelings & affections still stand strong) he’s still standing his ground on ending our relationship, maybe it’s wrong of me, but I really do want him to regret it so bad & make him want me back so bad, he doesn’t say anything to our friends that he hasn’t already said to me, that he still respects me & cares for me & still finds me so amazing but he can’t keep being in the relationship because he’s losing affections romantically for me, do I still have a chance for me to get him to want me?? :-(( & if so, please, besides the four important steps, is there any additional advice or tactics??

Elisa

July 15, 2016 at 3:12 am

My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago because we had a lot going on in our lives and we just didn’t have the time. He moved about a half hour away from me and since then things got too difficult to be together. We used to spend almost everyday together but with him moving I know that we wouldn’t be able to talk or see eachother as much but I’m okay with that. We’ve recently talked a couple times about small unimportant things but I’m not sure how to initiate a serious talk about how we feel. We’re both extremely busy so seeing him in person will be hard. I really miss him a lot and when I told him I missed him for the first time he actually said he missed me too. We both agreed that this has been hard but I don’t know how to go about getting him back. Any advice?

Elisa

July 20, 2016 at 11:01 pm

Do you think it will end up working out in my favor? I feel like if he doesn’t reach out to me at all that it won’t be worth it…
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 9:29 am

most of the time and most of the success stories were because of the change that they implemented and also, all of them said, that even if they didn’t get the guy back, they’re still happy because they learned not to lean on the guy for happiness and then resulted for the guy to see them differently too..
Elisa

July 19, 2016 at 12:14 am

Hi… Do you think starting no contact again would be a good idea? A month from now a lot of things can change and I’m afraid that a month might be too long but I’m also afraid that anything sooner than 3 weeks might be too soon… Please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 1:49 pm

yes, a lot will change but look at it from a perspective that a lot has changed with you too that he probably doesn’t expect
Elisa

July 16, 2016 at 7:37 pm

It wasn’t that things got boring, we just did not have the time. We had a great relationship but the timing isn’t right. He said when we decided to end things that he hoped we could try again in the future so the interest for each other is still there. Our relationship was always fun and exciting and we were always doing something new. The feelings were never lost, we were just really overwhelmed with how busy our lives were and we couldn’t figure out a way to make things work without being stressful. Over our breakup, I’ve had the time to figure out how it would work and I want to explain it to him but I’m not sure how to do it without seeming like I’m trying to pressure him. I took the time to change myself and become a better version of who I was before and with my new mindset, I’m sure our relationship would be fully capable of working out fine. How do you think I should bring this up without being overwhelming?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 9:52 pm

oh sorry.. I misunderstood! well, of that’s the case that’s easier.. live life like how you both lived it the fun way.. once he sees you doing that while he’s stuck being busy.. he’ll miss you and remember the memories.. that even better than trying to convince him because you get to learn to enjoy alone or with other friends
Elisa

July 15, 2016 at 9:36 pm

I tried no contact but that only lasted about 3 weeks. I have tried other things that Chris advised but I am stuck because our break up is a weird situation. I have read so many different things about what to do but I feel like none of the suggestions help the situation we are in. Most of the break ups that are discussed have an angry ending or they fell out of love or just don’t fit my situation. When I talk to him I’m not sure what to say because I think it is too soon to talk about how we feel. We’re really friendly when we talk almost as if nothing happen but he hasn’t reached out to me first. Is it too late to start no contact again? Or should I continue with talking to him once in a while until it becomes more frequent? It’s really difficult not knowing how he feels because I feel like I can’t make good judgments about what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 4:00 pm

it’s actually a general breakup..how long were you together? because of you have been together in a while, and you saw each other everyday and then now he’s busy, that means there’s nothing much exciting to look forward to in the relationship..

like in a very busy day, are you the person he would want to vent out or talk to because he wants to feel happy and refreshed?
I’m not saying it’s your fault but if the relationship and communication got boring, talking to that person will be a chore instead of a reward..
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 6:12 pm

HI Elisa,

want to try nc and what Chris advised above?

Popy

July 15, 2016 at 12:22 am

Thanks! Im on day 5, looong way to go still 🙂
Anya

July 13, 2016 at 7:40 pm

Hi, me and my boyfriend broke up due to the fact he has to go to the army for 1-2 years. So that is long distance related. We also broke up because we have had fights before because I sometimes have a hard time trusting. I did trust him but I would have to reassure myself on certain things. I have anxiety which doesnt help much but besides that we always have fun together. We have been together for a bit more than a year. He says that 1-2 years is a long time without any communication due to the military. And that we should start over and I should work on myself until he gets back. He promised that we can try again fresh and go on a date again when he returns. But for now he just doesnt want to deal with everything when he leaves for the army. He has 2 months right now before he has to go and we are already long distance due to different time zones. Do you think he means what he says? We are still texting as friends but we are toning it down and he doesnt want the obligation for me. He promised that we will give it a shot again and I need to improve myself over these 2 years. What do you think?

Anya

July 14, 2016 at 5:39 pm

Hi again, i posted yesterday and you replied back. Today we came up with an agreement that we will retry in the future and that we will both have each other in our minds. I am still broken that talking to him as a friend, i cant text him that i love him or i miss him. But I want to stay friends. He says that over this period of texting as friends he wants to see if I can get better and if our convos go well before he leaves (which is now not for another 5 months due to late applying for army) that then he knows that there can be hope for the future and that he can hold onto us. 1-2 years is very long. What if we meet up then and he forgets our promise and agreements?? What if in 2 years even if we make promises now he forgot about me ? I am very torn up right now with all these thoughts. Do you think this will actually work talking as friends and after the army retry our relationship from new?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 5:28 pm

Hi Anya,

I think he meant nothing is guaranteed because of the nature of his job
It’s dangerous and the it’s erratic..he can be assigned to a different place again during it and it can also be because he sees you don’t have trust in him.. he can’t keep making an effort if he feels doubted always..
This is what you should read:
Getting An Army, Military Or Navy Ex Boyfriend Back

saraha

July 13, 2016 at 2:33 pm

Hi. So my story started 3 months back . I met this guy at a club through a friend , we started chatting and he fell in love with me . He proposed to me when i was going back to my hometown for a month . We stayed in touch through phone and texts and i too fell in love with him but between the span of one month when i was away we had a terrible fight and we almost broke up .We did break up actually but we got back together too .I must mention he was 2 years younger to me .I am 23 , he is 21 . He had a lot of flings . A lot . I was always insecure about that but he always used to say that i wasn’t a fling to him and he was very emotionally vulnerable towards me . He had told me everything about his flings .When i came back everything was fine . We used to go around have fun but he had to leave after for 20 days for his hometown .While he away we again had a fight over petty things about things like his flings etc . There was lot of drama , crying etc . He called me things I called him a lot of things but we still loved each other and everything became fine again . After few days we again had a blow out again over small things . and that was the end . He had once told me during our relationship that once he is done , he is done . He came back from his hometown , i went to meet him but he didn’t meet me . I called him several times just to meet me last time and end things officially . I went to his place to meet him and we ended things . He said we can be friends and i replied with a ‘sure ‘ . it has been a week we haven’t talked . I sill love him and i want him back . Please if you can help me . I miss him and i love him a lot .

saraha

July 14, 2016 at 5:17 pm

Hi Amor ! do you think there are any chances it would work? he mentioned that once he’s done he’s done which is what scares me and he did had lot of flings what if he have flings after the breakup too .?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 5:32 pm

there is a likelihood that he will flirt with somebody, but what matters most is what he thinks about you.. how you would be attractive to him again?

worrying will not help in that.. and trying too hard will not help too.. it’s genuinely confident..That happens if improve yourself and do things more for yourself.not for him…
saraha

July 14, 2016 at 5:50 am

Hi Amor ! do you think there are any chances it would work? he mentioned that once he’s done he’s done which is what scares me and he did had lot of lings what if he have flings after the breakup too .?
saraha

July 13, 2016 at 7:44 pm

But are there any chances it would work? he mentioned that once he’s done he’s done which is what scares me .
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 6:30 pm

Hi saraha

do you want to try what Chris advised?

Amanda

July 13, 2016 at 4:36 am

I just want someone to text regarding my current situation. Plus, it helps to encourage each other during NC.

Chris Seiter

July 13, 2016 at 3:51 pm

Hi Amanda,

For legal reasons I am not allowed to share your number on the website.

Though we are happy to help you out and keep you motivated during the no contact in the comments 🙂

Caroline

July 12, 2016 at 11:46 pm

I’m in college and me and my ex got together about 3 months before school ended when a mutual friend told me that he had had a crush on me for over a year. I had never seen him around but I decided to meet him for coffee and since that moment we had been inseparable. We fell in love fast and grew an amazing connection. The best part about our relationship was that we were both very giving to each other and we appreciated everything that the other did. We often talked about who it was the healthiest and best relationship both of us had ever been in. Summer break began and we were a little nervous about it but we had no doubts that we could make it work. The first month of break went great and he even eagerly came to visit and meet all of my family. The last week of the second month of break he got an internship and he started acting different and inattentive but I chalked it up to stress and I knew that distance could be hard. The sunday of that week though a friend told me that the night before he drunkenly kissed someone at a party. I was very upset and confronted him about it but he didn’t remember it happening and seemed very regretful and wanted to make things work. So the next day I was ready to have a rational and calm conversation about it so that we could move on and continue things but he didn’t answer any of my texts or calls. He texted every 3 days after that with a long text about how sorry he was and how embarrassed he was about the situation and that he would call me the next night and the next night but the calls never came. After about 2 weeks of this he finally sent me a long text saying that he felt so bad and it was too hard for him to talk to me about what happened because he had so much guilt and that he needed to get his head together so he couldn’t be with me right now. I felt blindsided and hurt because everything was near perfect prior to this incident so it didn’t make sense why he would want to end things, especially since I was forgiving him. About four days later I texted him asking for more clarification and a truthful reason behind the breakup (regret this) and he told me that there was no one else or anything and that I am the most amazing relationship he’s ever had but the distance was getting to him and he just needs to get his mind together. Its been about 16 days since then and I haven’t been in contact with him at all. I see him on snapchat all the time though out at parties seemingly having an amazing time unaffected by our breakup. I just feel in my heart though that it wasnt our time to end. There is no way he could have fallen out of love with me in a weeks time and he’s a very sensitive guy so I think his guilt may have just gotten to him and he didn’t want to face me, especially since we are long distance right now. We go back to school in a month and I’m nervous to face him because I really don’t know how he feels about me. Does this seem like a relationship I should try to rekindle or leave ended?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 4:42 pm

oh, I answered your first comment…it was an accident but what’s more importaant is if you’re actively improving yourself because if not you should restart count

Caroline

July 12, 2016 at 10:33 pm

I’m in college and me and my ex got together about 3 months before school ended when a mutual friend told me that he had had a crush on me for about a year. I had never seen him around before but I met up with him for coffee and since that moment we were inseparable. We fell in love very fast and grew such a great connection. The best part was that we we’re very giving to each other and very appreciative of one another. This allowed us to be able to deal with any issues swiftly and easily. We left for summer break and we were both very nervous but we had no doubts that we could make it work. The first month everything was perfect and he even eagerly came to meet my entire family. The last week of the end of the second month of summer he got an internship, got a little stressed, and started acting a little difference. I chalked it up to stress though and let it go but the sunday of that week a friend told me that he drunkenly kissed a girl at a party. When I confronted him about it he seemed very regretful and he wanted to work things out so the next day I was ready to forgive him but then he went ghost on me for 2 weeks. When he finally contacted me he said he just can’t bring himself to talk to me about what happened because he’s so embarrassed and he can’t be with me right now. I was very blindsided since we had a near perfect relationship prior to this. I know distance is hard and he is a sensitive guy so I can’t tell if he broke up with me out of guilt or because he didn’t love me anymore. I just really feel like it wasn’t our time to end yet. We go back to school in about a month and I’m nervous to see him again. Does the way we ended sound like a good cause to try to rekindle things or just leave it ended?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 4:28 pm

Hi Caroline,

you should take this opportunity to be in active nc but does he know that you’re ready to forgive him?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 4:41 pm

…it was an accident but what’s more importaant is if you’re actively improving yourself because if not you should restart count

Popy

July 12, 2016 at 9:19 am

We broke up 3 days ago. Well, he broke up with me. We live in the same city but i have to leave in november (overseas), i might be back february. problem is, im not coming back to the same city, i might be moving 3 hrs from here. that is IF i come back..it all comes to work options. Anyways, we knew this since we started dating (we only dated for 4 months) The possibility of leaving was known but if i did come back it would be to the same city, sadly that option is off the table. I found out this week and told him. He didn’t react very well. He had to “think about our relation”. Long story short, he came over a few days ago and said it was too much for him, he liked me a lot and thought I was great but he just “wasn´t there yet”. He said it takes him a long time to “fall for someone” and at first he thought we would work out perfectly, but this issue of me leaving and having limited time to be together messes his plans. He is not ready and doesn’t want to hurt me or get hurt the day I have to leave. He was in tears most of our conversation. We got along great, never had fights, laughed all the time and enjoyed our alone time, we quickly made friends with our friends and everything was perfect. The news of me not coming back changed everything. He is very analytical and don’t know if I can get him back. But i think we have something special and really want to give us a shot. Do you think its possible? Or he just doesn’t love me and I should just call it quits. Im 31 and he´s 32 by the way.

Popy

July 14, 2016 at 1:36 am

By the way I’m in NC mode. Its hard though when I have so many questions! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 6:53 pm

hmm, it’s not actually normal. But do nc first, then think about if you still want to try when you’re done
Popy

July 14, 2016 at 1:35 am

Thanks Amor. Do you think it’s worth it? I’ve been thinkiing that if he reacts this way on the first pebble on the road, what will happen if we ever encounter bigger problems? I do miss him, and I would love to be back with him, but I’m starting to wonder if he is right for me. Should I fight for him? Im so confused.
Another thing, is this normal in men? To have a great relationship and then one bad news and he runs away? I just want to move forward if he’s really not in to me. But he was in tears during the break up, that’s why I think he cares about me a lot and I still have a shot. I’m so confused!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 6:16 pm

Hi Popy,

maybe he’s thinking too much..give him space and do active nc then slowly rebuild rapport and attraction again after that.. if he’s hooked more than he is now, he might give it a shot with you

Danielle

July 8, 2016 at 7:13 pm

I was with my boyfriend for 10 years, we fought sometimes but there was always more good than bad. We both talked about marriage and having children in future all the time and we classed each other as our soulmate and best friend. However, it has been my final year of uni so I have been so stressed over the past year and didn’t give him much attention because of this, he also works unsociable hours. Well, weeks before the break up I found out he had been seeing somebody else. I was heartbroken and he cried and he told me he’d cut it off with her and try to work it out with me. We went on holiday, and then 2 weeks later he broke up with me saying he needs time apart and that he feels like he has been holding me back because he wants time on his own. He said he still sees a future with me but just not now and that he loves me. After the break up I sent a letter acknowledging what I’d done wrong which I kind of regret sending because I got no response. But it’s been a week now and he hasn’t contacted me, I don’t know what to do, he has been my everything for nearly half my life.

Danielle

July 9, 2016 at 7:02 pm

well I’ve started doing NC since a week ago but just worried I’ve blown my chances really!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 5:04 pm

hmm.. the more important thing is what you’re doing right now after that letter? Have you been improving yourself and healling? Because if not, you have to restart count.. that way, it help lessen the effect of the letter because he’ll see you’re moving on.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 12:20 pm

Hi Danielle,

do you want to try what Chris advised above?

Please help me

July 8, 2016 at 5:13 pm

Hi!.
I really need your help. My boyfriend and I were together three and a half years, both we have twenty four years old.
Is a very long history, so, these are the details.
In the relationship: We had the same interests, we had a lot of communication, no cheating, I was so close with his family, we always said how much we loved each other and how lucky we were,we were talking about engagement and everything seems like a fairy tale.
The last year we start fighting for everything. He seems bored, always tired, indifferent. That makes me feel disappointed, that something was wrong with me, and I turned insecure, grumpy and distant.
He is very proud and I always gave in order to avoid a fight, but I got tired of that situation and I hoped that he apologized, but that never happened.
One day just he broke up with me, he said that he was not happy, that he was tired of the fights, that he needed time alone but he loves me so much. I tried to talk with him a week later, but he never answered me. it’s been twenty days since I applied the NC rule, but I’m afraid of losing him. I really love him and I can’t see my life without him. I’m lost, I just want to getting him back.
Have I a real chance to getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 11:58 am

Hi Please help me,

have you started to build a new routine? did you start activities that can improve yourself? You have to continue doing those activities eveb after nc.. it’s not just about stopping to talk to him.. if you haven’t started improving yourself, you have to restart the count

michelle

July 8, 2016 at 8:49 am

Hi! My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. We both are 18 years old, and this break up was completely out of the blues for me. We were together since 1.5 years but, in long distance since 1 year. He was a very caring, supportive, loving boyfriend, but since a few months he had started losing interest in me. we were in contact through text messages and he was always trying to find a reason to not talk to me. then after 6 moths he broke up giving various reasons like he wanted to channelize in his career completely, he was thinking about breaking up since 6 months, we are not made for each other and what not. I tried every possible thing to stop him, for a month, he said he cared for me as a friend but he will not come in this relationship ever again. it has been 2 weeks i stopped trying and he sometimes messages me asking how am I doing. I want him back, is there a fair chance for us?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 8, 2016 at 4:29 pm

hi Michelle,

how often did you see each other personally?

Missy

July 7, 2016 at 6:07 pm

My boyfriend of over three and a half years just broke up with me and im struggling with the no contact rule. I feel as if i cant live without and made the mistake of telling him that. Do you think strictly following the no contact rule for 30 days can repair that? I know he loves me. He says he needs space. Also, he’s supporting me financially for a few weeks, as i was totally dependant on him, so i have to talk to him at least about that. Should i start the thirty days over once the necessary contact is done or can i count these few weeks as part of the no contact period if i do not talk to him at all about anything but business? I desperately want him back and will follow this plan to a T.

Missy

July 10, 2016 at 2:21 am

I’m so confused. We planned to talk yesterday to deal with finances so i waited for him to call and confirm plans. Then when he came over to deal with the bank he asked me to lunch, but he said it was because he ‘owed me’ for breaking up with me before a planned date. Then he referred to me as his girlfriend to a cashier and told me i can always contact him if i feel i need to. And later, when i had to ask him a question via text, i didnt respond after his one word answer and he continued the conversation on his own an hour later with promises of getting stuff for me, but he made it clear we’re broken up. What is he doing? What do you think his intentions are?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 8:21 pm

hmmm sometimes, it’s just out of habit that might be the reason he said that in public
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 8, 2016 at 5:42 am

Hi Missy,

we can’t guarantee that no contact will worl 100% and I don’t think you can count the past days because you have to be actively improving yourself first in health, wealth and social aspects of your life.. that’s the more important part of no contact rule…

McKenzie

July 7, 2016 at 5:24 am

My dated my ex for 4 years and just recently broke up 3 weeks ago. Before we broke up we talked about getting married and he constantly said that he would never break up with me. We were very serious and both of our families had talked about when we were going to get married. He even said a month before we broke up that he was going to propose to me within the next year and asked me to go ring shop with him. However, even with this being said we were fighting a lot about little things like not putting dishes away or him planning to hangout with me but then gets caught up hanging out with his friends he forgets about the plans we made. And I would always get upset. This caused me to have trusting issues with him. Whenever we fought our fights were pretty bad (screaming and crying fights) He would always leave and ignore me whenever we got in fights in order to cool down but I am a fixer and want to fix things right away. So this is what his reasoning for our break up is. The actual break up happened when I went to Europe for 2 weeks for a study abroad for a class. Before I had left for Europe, we were fighting and I wanted to hangout with him as much as possible before I left and he would make plans with his friends and his dad to do things and not hangout with me (not upset he hangout with his dad, I was upset cause we made plans to hangout and then didn’t follow through). So this put a strain on our relationship before I left to go to Europe. While I was in Europe I was pretty busy and didn’t have a texting or calls unless I had wifi and there was a 7 hour time difference so it was hard to talk. I spoke with him the first couple days but barely because I was busy and didn’t have much time. Then he wouldn’t answer any of my calls or text and that would upset me and he wouldn’t text me. So with that being said I started to get upset and just fight with him why he wasn’t showing effort. I was pretty drunk half the time in Europe so I had called and texted him a lot saying he didn’t appreciate me and that he didn’t care about me. Which just made him mad. One night I had even called him and said that I hate him for making me cry while I was in Europe and said he ruined my trip and ruins everything I do and that I wanted to just break up. I was drunk and upset and did not mean any of it. I am really dramatic so I always threaten/say we should break up but we don’t ever really break up. But this time he took it to heart. We didn’t talk the rest of the trip (2 days). I got back from Europe and tried to talk to him and he refused to talk to me. until a few days later. He said that I had broken his heart when I said I hated him and that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He said he can’t picture marrying someone who could say that to him. He also said that I have said I hated him a few other times when I am drunk. and that he could hear it anymore. I was begging him that I didn’t mean it and was just drunk but he wouldn’t forgive me. So I tried to apologize and get him to be with me again and he refused so I stopped texting him. He then texted me saying he missed me so much it hurts and we talked for a few texts and that was it. A few days later I had called him and he said he wanted to see me that next night and we were texting all day. We hangout that night and the next day and things were okay but we had gotten into a fight for an hour or so and then were fine. The next day was my grandpas funeral so he came down with my family and he was saying that he loved me and that everything was going to be okay and not worry (with us). However I saw he was snap chatting this girl all day. When I asked who she was he lied and she it was his friends gf and they were just friends, but I didn’t want to fight so I just let it go. He hangout with my family all day and all day the next day. He even went golfing with my dad and brother. So things were good and he was saying how much fun he had that day and that he loved me. The next day he came over to hangout with me and things were fine. The next night, my family decided to celebrate my birthday the night before my actual birthday and he didn’t attend because he had plans with his friends, which is very unusual because he attends everything. But the next morning he came over at 6 am to open presents and eat cake with my family before work and had planned a special date night for my birthday. That evening he came over to take me out and we were good and ready to go out but then I asked if we could talk about us before we go out and he freaked out and got really upset. We ended up fighting for 3 hours and just went to a local restaurant to eat instead of a fancy one like he planned. He was very upset I brought it up and he said he just wanted to have fun and not think about our break up. But I wanted to talk because I wanted to fix things and be with him. After we ate supper I stayed the night with him and we had plans to go to a concert festival together. The next morning when we were leaving, he was being rude and trying to be cool in froth of his friends because we were going with all his guy friends and I was the only girl. He was getting pissed at me for no reason, I had lost my ID and he was pissed and I had left my phone in the car and he was pissed. But once we got to the concert and the set up our things he was being normal and acting like he liked me. The rest of the night was good, he was very interested in me and dancing and saying he loved me. The next morning I borrowed his phone and say that this girl had been snapchatting him for 23 day straight, which hasn’t even happened with him and I. I was upset and asked him about it. He lied and said that they were just friends, so I said I trust him. I left to cool down and then I cam back and things were normal again until that night, one of his friends had told one of my friends he has been hooking up with the girl he was snap chatting and that he invited her to the festival while I was there. I freak out and told my sister and her friends and my sister friends went to the campsite where we were staying and put peanut butter on his cards and clothes (they were drunk and pissed cause I was told he was “cheating on me” even though we weren’t dating officially). So after all that I went to the show/concert performing to make me feel better and I had saw him so I went to talk to him and he started to leave the concert so I went with him and tried to talk to him but he refused to explain anything to me. The next morning he called his brother to come pick him up 3 hours away and he left the 3 day festival. which is unusual because he loves this concert and paid a lot of money to be there, so it was odd he left. That day he left he moved out of my sisters basement because he was living with her at the time. and ever since he has been staying at this girls house. But he also texts me everyone in a while saying he misses me. I recently spoke with his friends and they said that the girl he is with is super easy and he knows that. His friend also said that my ex thought I cheated on him while i was in Europe which I did not do, so that is why he broke up with me and is with this girl. I have told him I didn’t. What should I do? He keeps so mixed feelings towards me, he says he loves me but can’t be with me because of the messy situation. He also texts me he misses me and usually always responds to my texts. I want to be with him so bad but I don’t know how to get him back with me and not this girl. is there even a chance to getting back together? its been a little less than a month since we actually broke up but less than 2 weeks since he stopped hanging out with me.

McKenzie

July 21, 2016 at 1:31 am

so should I just do the no contact? or should I keep trying? Every time I talk to him I feel like we are getting somewhere and then in seconds he changes his mind and then we are back to the he doesn’t want to be with me and that Im not the one for him. I leave for school that is 2.5 hours away in a month and I want to fix things by then. Is that stupid to think we can fix things before I leave? I just can’t decide if I should just give up and let him be happy without me, because I just want him to be happy but I want him to be with him so bad?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 22, 2016 at 11:35 am

I think that is too soon because if you really need a restart, no contact is still the better option for that.. and then after that you will slowly build rapport.. which will not fit in the remaining month.
McKenzie

July 19, 2016 at 5:40 am

So i didn’t talk to him for a couple days and I told him I was going to see someone else and he got upset and jealous and then was saying how he hopes that he makes me happy. I took that as he was still interested in me, so I started to talk to him and try to convince him that we did have a great relationship and he agreed that we did but we can’t be together right now. He keeps saying that we can’t be together right now. Today I texted him saying I’m sorry and I will give him space and he replies saying that the reason we can’t be together is because of the huge fight we had, I then told him that relationships are hard and that he is going to fight with anyone he is with because it is not always fun and happy times, Then I told him that relationships are hard and no matter who he is with it will be hard at some point but the strong couples fight through it. After I said that he just says he doesn’t know. then he said that he will always me. After he texted me that I told him I miss him to and his hugs and kisses and just being funny and messing around with him. he replied yeah same here. Then I text him to give us another chance and to forget the past and just do what his heart wants. then I said if your heart wants me then be with me but if it doesn’t want me then I’ll stop. He then responded I don’t know and that he just knows that we can’t be together right now. He keeps sending me mixed feelings. He says he misses me and that he doesn’t know what to do and then a minute later he will tell me to stop talking to him. But at the same time he is talking to another girl and they have been hanging out almost everyday. And he has been staying the night at this girls house and he took her on a date last week. But he still texts me back and responds to my texts. He even told me that when I come pick up some of my things at his house, he has to leave it outside because if we are in the same room as each other he will just want to make out with me because he is too attracted to me. What does this mean?….And both of our Facebook statuses says we are still in a relationship with each other. What should I do? should I take that down or leave it up? I want to leave it up so this girl he is talking to gets upset or jealous that it is still on his Facebook. I also am thinking that maybe he just doesn’t know how to change it or maybe he thinks we will get back together later on? idk I’m so confused please help me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 20, 2016 at 3:42 pm

that was too forwards..actually he still sees the old relationship.. yeah he misses you but he doesn’t want to get back to how you were before
McKenzie

July 12, 2016 at 3:00 am

I don’t want to do no contact because I want to try and fix things. I saw him the other day after I posted this and he started crying and saying how he missed me and loves me so much and is scared to lose me but He thinks that we just can’t be together because of the fight we had and that my family knows about the fight and he is embarrassed about the situation. How do I go about the situation? I want to be with him but I don’t want to push him away by trying to hard
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 4:43 pm

if he wants you to keep around but not want to get back with you, that means he’s friendzoning you..

right now, are you sure you won’t appear like chasing him and he won’t get annoyed with you?
I think you should read this too:
EBR 017: The Importance Of The No Contact Rule
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 5:16 pm

HI Mckenzie,
do you want to do active nc?

Lily

July 6, 2016 at 8:36 pm

My bf just broke up with me. I initiated the no contact rule and then broke it last night after drinking too much.. He responded positively but in a way that really showing he was pushing me away. After saying i missed him so much, he said: I miss you too. It’s normal. You are smart, beautiful and full of life. Get out there and experience the world. Relax, have some fun and enjoy yourself;). That’s it. That was so painful to me, because that is not a text that’s open to conversation. He was just being nice like when you’re nice with an ex because you feel bad for them and you give them advice to move on because they’ve already moved on. I have no idea what to answer or if I should answer at all. WE’ve been together for 3 years but doing long distance for 1 year and half. I don’t even know if i can implement your plan if we live apart. HELP.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 3:31 pm

Hi Lily,

if you want to restart active no contact, go ahead and read this too: EBR 004: Breaking The Long Distance Barrier With An Ex

B

July 6, 2016 at 4:03 pm

Hi, so I met my ex in college my freshman year. We dated the entire year then this summer he broke up with me without reason and hasn’t given me closure at all. I went crazy because we were super serious ( talked about marriage, have a dog, he took a job in my home town) and made the mistake texting him a ton of times but he never responded. It’s been a month and I’m going to give him space, but in a month I’m going back to school and my furniture is at his house and I need to move it into my apartment and I don’t know how to go about it. Should I talk to him about us then or do you think it’s even worth it? Plus he’s been talking to a friend of mine, not serious I don’t think but he broke up with me so him talking to a pretty friend of mine makes me worried, how should I go about this?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 2:41 pm

hi B,

it’s ok to talk about the furniture only once you need it but no small talk or feeling, relationships talk during no contact

Molly

July 5, 2016 at 5:52 pm

I had been with my ex for 3 years. we got together at the age of 15 and we are now 18. he wanted a brake which I lasted about 3 days in before I said I don’t want a break as I really don’t belive in them. His reasoning was because he said he wants time to be reckless and irresponsible before we have to grow up. I know I have my issues and I plan to work on them in the 30 days. but how do I deal with this as I suffer with depression and I feel like im going to really feel low without him cheering me up. even tho im really mad with him just talking to him makes me feel better. However I just started the 30 day no contact. the last thing I said was a random goodbye. I felt that it would confuse him and make him wonder what im doing. I really hope this works. I suppose the 30 days isn’t just for me but will also give him the space that he desired in the first place.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2016 at 8:24 am

Hi Molly,

You’re happiness should be initiated by you most of the time, not by other people.. go to therapy too to help you heal faster

Gianna Serignese

July 5, 2016 at 4:11 pm

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. He sent me a text the next day basically saying he wanted “me” time before his friends went off to college and saying he wanted to be single and for me to leave him alone. I didn’t respond and then the next week I called a friend to ask about a girl I was hearing things were going on with, and that friend called my ex boyfriend and made a horrible story up about me and said I told him that my ex broke up with me because there was something going on between this girl and him and that was not true at all. So then I tried texting him a long message saying that I never said that and that I needed to talk to him and say what I never got to say when we broke up because of how bad we fought that day. He will not contact me at all and he has told his friends that he will never get back together with me and wants nothing to do with me. What am I supposed to do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2016 at 8:12 am

Hi Gianna,

start active nc.. do you want to try what Chris advised?

Maria

July 5, 2016 at 3:13 pm

Hi!

My ex bf broke up with me about a month ago after being 6 months together. I wanted to start contact after that day, but he begged me to still be his friend and said he needed me. And so, stupid me, agreed. We have seen each other a lot as we have the same group of friends and we have texted each other a few times. However, and I am not the only one that thinks this, he has become more selfish and pretty much only cares about having fun and partying with his friends (all girls). He said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now but that if he fell in love with me in the future he would try it out again for sure.
I think I made an error by trying to be his friend again, as it seems he’s completely taking me for granted in every single way. Today I’m starting no contact. He’s the kind of guy who gets really REALLY frustrated when someone ignores him for a long time so I think it will make him miss me.

Do you have any tips for what to do in my situation right now apart from no contact? Like for example using social media where he can see what I’m doing or using jealousy as a technique? (Btw, yesterday, which was the last time I saw and will see him for now, I went home early and told him and his friends that I was going to meet up with a guy I had met at a party and he seemed kind of confused and anxious. I could tell because he always pulls a fake smile and starts asking many questions at once when he feels like this. Should I take this response as a hint that he still feels something for me?).

Maria

July 12, 2016 at 5:58 pm

Hi Amor thanks for the reply!

I wanted to tell you that after a week of no contact we met at a friend’s party. At first we didn’t talk and I pretty much wasn’t planning to do so, but then we started talking like we used to do. Both of us had a lot fun and we were kind of flirty with each other. There were no awkward moments at all. HOWEVER I know I completely messed up the NC rule and I don’t know if I should start texting him slowly, followed by phone calls, then meetups etc., or if I should restart no contact. I must say that even though I miss him, I feel a lot better thanks to the no contact period 🙂

By the way, we will probably see each other again this weekend with our friends so if the NC rule isn’t the best option right now, do you have any tips of how I should behave like that day?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 7:15 pm

actually you should restart.. just don’t initiate a talk, and then when he does be polite but don’t be engaging..let him talk.. agree to what he says until you can excuse yourself and then be more engaged with others.. if there are people you don’t know, get to know them.. look your best and either leave early or arrive late
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2016 at 7:54 am

hi Maria,
let’s say he’s just being possessive because he’s used to you waiting around for him… be active during nc to.improve yourself and yes be active in social media too

« Previous 1 … 30 31 32 33 34 … 149 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”