Will He Come Back If You Stop Chasing Him? Yes, Here's Why

320 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Stop Chasing Him?”

Eva

December 20, 2017 at 7:00 pm

Dear Team

I am so angry with myself.
My LDR bf…ex…Well I don’t know…we have a pretty rough time. Not only due to the bad circumstances.
Anyway I was nagging a lot…pushing after we fought. He has trouble to compromise with me and he even had a profile on a dating site even though he was with me.

Anyway we are at the point where the smallest thing blows out big. We both wanted the same but right now my bf is so annoyed that he doesn’t want to cope with me any more. He said he doesn’t want to have a relationship. He is unhappy and permanently angry. Our communication was bad. He was angry and I got needy. He was pulling I was chasing.
Anyway now I decided I have to make no contact at least until end of January so that in can concentrate on my master degree.
He needs a lot of time to heal himself too.

Why am I angry? Well I announced the no contact. I called him, we again had some heavy talk again. I was somehow begging and chasing… asked calmly for explanations but also asked for chances. I toldnhim I see the no contact now as chance for us. I mean beside he said he doesn’t want to be with me he sees that as chance to revive his feelings too. He said in still hold the key.
But now I feel I made a mistake and I don’t know if it will work ever again. I feel I have back the power I had. Was that a problem? What can I do now to get the full power back? In really wanna stop being needy and be more self confident again!!! So would be happy if you can give me an advice.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 10:26 pm

Hi Eva,

Either stick to nc, or move on because the more you restart it, the less it can help you

Daisy

December 20, 2017 at 1:57 pm

Hey,

An idea: y’all could do an article on how to get someone back that was an almost relationship- ie where you were talking (hanging out, hooking up, going on dates) for a while, around 3 months. You were an established public thing. You were seen in public together and publicly claimed each other, you hung out w each other’s friends, posted on social media (he posted of y’all, you didn’t post of him). He had even told his mom about you and allowed you to meet and hang out w her. Unfrtunately, there were a series of miscommunications and outside pressures that rushed together at the end. These made y’all decide not to pursue one another further. However you feel that there were no deep-rooted issues that caused the breakup, and in fact you felt your personalities were quite compatible and that it doesn’t have to be this way. You just don’t like the idea of throwing away so much potential that ended bc of extreme circumstances and outside stressors that would not be present again. In my specific case, I know the specifc pressures wouldn’t ever be possible again: he was pledging a black fraternity, which is something you only have to do once, and when you take in a new class it is less stress than being brought in. I speak from expeience as I am in a black sorority.

So yes, I’m pitching this general situation, situationships if you will, as an article idea. I hope y’all will consider it! It would be greatly appreciated and helpful.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 10:00 pm

Hi Daisy,

If you were sleeping with him even if you’re not officially together that means you’re friends with benefits.. Check this one:
EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship

Alicia

December 20, 2017 at 8:28 am

Hi! My boyfriend and I has been together for 4months and we have been quarreling for almost a month. It started off because I was being very needy and clingy, he felt that I don’t love him and was being unappreciative. During this whole month i kept texting him to apologise, asking him to give me a second chance but he took a few days to reply but his replies weren’t about whether or not he wants to forgive me and give me a second chance, he just said that he’s disappointed and talked about how i never really loved him. I initiated to meet but he refused. During this month, i made false accusations about him cheating too due to some misunderstandings. I also kept asking if he still wants us to be together but he ignored that message. I think yesterday he was very annoyed at me as i confronted him about not replying to my apology text and he finally want to end it. What should I do? Will the no contact work? I’ve deleted our chat and his number. I sent him a last apology message hoping we can start anew, but he has yet to it. He is a very stubborn person, he always think that people will leave him eventually, and i don’t think he will never text me back. I want to stay, but I think I’m just making him angrier each time i try to get him back. What should I do? I really want us back together, I’m really willing to change and be better. I want a second chance, please help! Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 9:49 pm

Hi Alicia,

Are you going to do the nc rule?

Milla

December 19, 2017 at 6:13 pm

Hi all,
What youre doing is literally perfect. You give some ”true” hope to the peope who feel like the world is over… Me and my bf were together about 3 year. We started our dating at university( Iam still at university) but he graduated last year so we were at LDR. For aboot 4 months we did not see each other in person I was his home on July about 5 days and he visited me on my college on July again. So, we are very very good on July ( I wis I can go that month). We argued on his home and I experinced very big anger bomb to him and tried to leave from his home ( the true reason was I didnot want to my college I just wanted to live with him that situation was really tough and I was felling soo weak). He did not let me go and we slept and went back to normal. After I went back my college city, the relationship started to go wrong again. During 4 month LDR we had fight very peirodically because of the reson that he cannot create time for me for texting he wanted to go out with friends some time and I was really crazy to him and started fight always when he go out. He started to complaine about that because he needed to take himself from the very busy work schedule and I was always create problems. Nevermind, he broke up with me 27 days ago by saying that he cannot do whatever he want and it makes him anoyyed and he cannot drem future with me anymore and also he said that he have trust issue to me ( I left my ex bf for my current bf) I think he was scare to that I was going to do same thing to him.( We tallked alot about that during the relatinship but he said that he cannot over this issue.) And also during brakup he said that ” I know our relatinships end like my parents” ( they got divorce when he was little). I said that I am happy with you. He said I am not. I asked dont you love me and he said ” Not I used to before” I said okay and take care. I start NC. period immediatly with commen sense. During 21 days of NC. I improved myself did cool stuff some hobies and hit the gym and posted on whatsapp storry ( we used to connect with him there, so he can see my updates everydy.) After NC I texted him about a interesting stuff that we used to found interesting and made suggestion to him like ”… You should going to try this yore gonna like it I think” But he read and did not reply. Today is the 6th day of no reply he didnot reply it and he wont I think. Recently I am waiting about 3 days to reach him again with hook up and more interesting thing. What do you think about my situation. Any suggestion would be great. Than you for your time.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 9:13 pm

Hi Mila,

restart nc, do at least 30 days, continue improving yourself but do posts that don’t disappear after 24 hours and make them public.

Viola

December 19, 2017 at 12:53 pm

My name is viola and me and my boyfriend recently broke up. He broke up with me because he said he needed time to himself. He kept telling me that the decision was hard and he didn’t want to let me go and he did it anyway. I’m not going to lie , i started to beg for him back then i just stopped and now I’m giving him his space. And he doesn’t post anything pertaining our break up or anything. I want him back really bad , should i give him more time and space then talk to him or just give him space

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 9:07 pm

Hi Viola,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Lilly

December 19, 2017 at 6:52 am

My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. We had a 4 year relationship, and were engaged. We were doing fine, but have had arguments at times, mostly due to trust issues. About 2 years ago, he cheated on me and broke up with me. At first, I begged, and still he left me. But after like 2 days, he said that he realized how much he loves me and broke up with the girl. That’s the reason of my trust issues. And I am doing an effort to change that thing about me. Lately we’re doing great, then one day had an argument about him going out with his guy friends. He feels like he’s not allowed and had a lot of things said, about my jealousy and wanted to call off the engagement. Then we agreed that we’ll talk about our issues the next time we see each other. But that didn’t happen, and then he broke up with me through text. I went to his house to beg, but he said that the relationship already is broken and that the trust cannot be worked on. I pleaded and begged that I’ll work on it and he said “NO”. I called him, texted him, and he just rejected me. Every after 1 or 2 days, he will text me to say that he’s sorry for hurting me and said that he will understand if I’m angry at him and that he misses me. We were able to have a long conversation via text about apologizing to each other. Then on our 2nd week of breakup, he asked me if he needs to stop contacting me. And having read your articles and watched your videos about NC, I told him that I’m ok and there’s no need to message me. Then immediately after that, he deleted all traces of me in his facebook. I am now on day 13 of NC. And is currently always working out, cause he has always wanted me to workout and improve my body. At times I cannot stop myself from checking his facebook and I can see that he’s moving on. He has not contacted me. And another mistake I made was to talk to his friends. They told me to just move on. But I want my ex boyfriend back. I am not sure if I still have a chance. I feel like time is running out, and that he might find another soon.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 8:39 pm

Hi Lilly,

check this one:
Will My Ex Forget Me If I Do No Contact

A Fading Light

December 19, 2017 at 1:40 am

Hello EBR Team, I was hoping for a little advice..
My boyfriend and I of 5 and a half years have been broken up for a little over a year now, but we are still living together. It was a mutual breakup, as we felt that we couldn’t trust each other. We had both thought the other had cheated.. I have always been honest and loyal to him, so hearing him say this broke my heart. We agreed to try being friends and continue living together as roommates. The whole time after broken up, he was still portraying a relationship figure to others in his actions and some things that he would say; like acting jealous or somewhat possessive. This year in attempt to get over him, I started seeing other people..this only made it harder for me, as trying to be with someone else just never felt right and I always thought of him. My birthday was just last month and I felt like he may still have feelings for me..I had planned to speak with him about it, but missed opportunity because his best friend gave him some younger females’ phone number and they’ve been in contact since. He told me they are just friends, but she seems really eager to date him because she keeps inviting him out to dinner and sending him pictures where she thinks she looks cute (like as a mouse..).

This really bothers me and I try not to let it, but what am I suppose to do when I realized that I still love him.. I don’t want to lose him to her..please help me with this cluster of pain and confusion in my mind and heart..

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 8:30 pm

Hi A fading light,

why are you still living together? check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Rosie

December 18, 2017 at 11:57 pm

Hi Amor,

Me and my ex have split for two years now and been together for 7 years. He broke it off with me b/c he met someone new and blocked me b/c I didn’t want to face the fact we were over. I broke the NC rule so many times and it made the situation worse and he finally had to block me. He doesn’t have any social media apps for me to follow him. He’s really close to my family but they do not bring me up in anything at all when they speak to him. In December of last year I promised myself that I need to move on and focus solely on myself. Now, I have a healthier routine which includes hanging out with friends I left behind, I work out at a gym where I met new friends, I spend more time being with my nephew/nieces. My routine is improving. In November, I was hanging out with my brother (who is my ex best friend) one night and he told me that my ex mentioned me and wanted to talk about me but my brother told him he didn’t want to talk about me and he should leave it alone. My ex also wanted to talk to my sister and she wasn’t able to talk to him. I have no idea what to get out of any of that? i wish I knew what he was feeling? I do agree with they always come back but why haven’t he tried texting/calling me? Its very complicated but I appreciate the articles!! Thank you all!!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 8:00 pm

Hi Rosie,

do you mean you want to know why he’s doing that? It would be better not to assume. If you want to talk to him, just initiate.

Mayree

December 18, 2017 at 12:23 pm

So we broke up about a month and a half ago, I begged and plead for him to stay but he say we should let go and we won’t work out and that he didn’t love me anymore. We were in contact for a few days after the break up but he suddenly stopped contacting me. I’m into about 28 days of NC. He has blocked me everywhere on social media platform and on mobile when we broke up except for Instagram. I’ve then decided to unfollow him a week ago, and since then he blocked me on Instagram too.

Is there any chance to get him back? I’ve been actively posting on my accounts too. We had a great rs, we were tgt for 2 years, and were bestfriends for 4 years before that. I really want him back, what Can I do? He hasn’t contacted me at all..

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 7:46 pm

HI Mayree,

are you posts public?

Daisy

December 18, 2017 at 3:48 am

Hello, so my situation is interesting, to me at least.
So, we were just fine, perfect actually. We were that movie couple that everyone wanted to be. Even behind the scenes, he practically kissed the ground i walked on and i put him on a pedestal myself. He plays for his college soccer team and got hurt one game, needing surgery and through doctor’s orders, he wasn’t even allowed to leave his house to go to classes. During this time, we were perfect still. At some point, he had even been texting his grandma about the injury and later she wound up asking if he thought i could be the one, to which he responded, “i know she’s the one.”

Just after this, he was able to attend classes again. I noticed that now all he wanted to do was hang out with his soccer team, even attending every practice and game. However, it came to a point where he had to get lunch with them every single day and go clubbing on weekends with them and wanted to start going to parties with them and even chose to hang out with them instead of me when i came home for the weekends from my own college sometimes (about 40 minutes away). I also noticed that suddenly he wanted to dress a certain way and cut his hair a certain way and suddenly wanted a tattoo and a nose piercing. It all came out of nowhere! Anyway, i tried to brush it off.

Just ten days after telling his grandma i’m “the one,” he randomly sent me a text in the middle of class that said “i hope we grow old together.” My heart swooned and everything was still great! Then, ten days after that, we were arguing a bit about his priorities and he then called me and told me “i don’t know what’s going on with me, but it’s just not the same. i love you, i really love you, i’m just don’t think i’m in love anymore.” Clearly, my heart shattered. But he was crying and terribly upset that he didn’t feel the same anymore, crying and saying “i don’t want this to be happening, you’re my girl.” So we tried to fix it by pretending it didn’t happen but going out more together and having a good time, hoping it would go away on its own.

Three weeks later, he told me everything was okay again and that he wasn’t seeing the bigger picture which was the two of us together. I was over the moon! The following weekend was our one year anniversary and we had a good time, but then he chose not to see me again before i left for the week to school. i ended up coming back that monday (i left sunday) because i was overwhelmed with life and that was it! Two days after our anniversary, he told me “i have two lives, one with you and one where i get to do whatever i want. i don’t know which one i want more and i need a few days to figure it out. we need a break.” Heart shattered again. So we went on our “break.”

A few days turned into two weeks and i couldn’t take it anymore so i put my foot down and told him that since he couldn’t make a decision, i had to because this wasn’t fair to me. I love him more than anything but i knew it wouldn’t be the same anymore especially because i had found out he’d been hiding things from me here and there.

Now it’s been two weeks since the official breakup and I removed him off all social media immediately because i can’t be his friend knowing that’s all i am to him. Since then, we’ve spoken twice. About a week and a half after the breakup, he sent me a text asking how i’m doing. We sent maybe ten messages back and forth and it was awkward and uncomfortable, something i never wanted between us! But that was that. Three days later (one week ago) i decided it wasn’t fair if he was always the one who initiated contact because i know he still cares about me, so i sent him the same “how are you doing?” text. We texted for a little over an hour and he made sure to tell me how beautiful he thinks i am, told me it made him happy to make me happy, told me he was sorry for making me feel this way, and also told me he missed me too after i told him i missed him.

I don’t know what to do, because i feel he is just lost and trying to fit in with friends especially since he’s so insecure. All of his friends are a couple years older than him as well. I can’t blame him for anything, i just feel bad for him in some way. I love him and would kill for him back, i just don’t know what to do. (he has ADHD, learning disabilities, and i’ve suspected depression in him as well, if that makes any difference. family life is also awful and his parents don’t even sleep in the same room) What do i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 7:13 pm

Hi Daisy,

do you want to do the no contact rule?

Annabelle Hudson

December 18, 2017 at 2:42 am

We live 1500 miles apart (LDR) and we began to argue over little things that were really bothering me. For example, my jealousy over his mass female following and post liking. Yes, I went there. We are both very independent and for the most part we are comfortable with our situation. Since he lives out of the country, on ranch, that is remote his cell service is spotty. Texting works but phone calls must be made from a landline, super inconvenient. Either way, last week I started getting crazy pants and dug into his social media a bit (ok a lot) and I was very upset over it and comforted him, over text, about it. It didn’t go well, I told him I wanted out (which normally he fights) but he said “fine”. Then after that I went all weekend without responding to his last text BUT by Monday morning all the regret sunk in. He agreed to speak with me on the phone on Monday and he told me that he wasn’t sure how he felt anymore (he’s been hurt pretty bad by past relationships). Since then, he’s continued to respond to my texts 1:1, he’s still checking all my snapchats and even asking me where I am, except he’s stopped liking my Instagram posts where all of his family can see. Clearly he’s told them something because even his brothers stopped liking my posts as well. He’s still checking in with me but there’s been a few nights that I haven’t heard from him at all (which is not normal). I’m confused because when I asked him what were doing now he said we just need to take it slow and relax a bit. Honestly, I feel like I’m doing the chasing at this point but I was also the one that threatened to leave. On Friday he reached out first with a text that said “How’s your day going?” and we exchanged texts for quite a bit. I don’t respond immediately and try to keep everything very vague. I’m not so certain the no contact rule is applicable here because we are in daily contact but how do I make him do the chasing? Currently, I decided to take a last minute trip to see my sister out of state and I’ve turned off my phone…I snap chatted being at the airport, made it seem like I was headed to a mystery location and that I was disconnecting from technology for a few days. My phone is turned off and will be for at least the next 4 days and I won’t be on social media either.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 7:11 pm

Hi Annabelle,

so you’re not broken up yet?

Christina

December 17, 2017 at 11:28 am

Hi,

Me and my ex were together about a year. We were best friends prior to getting together. Our relationship was great fun at the best of times but he would cool things off and then get back together with me. This happened 2-3 times. Towards the end of our relationship he never even asked me how my day was and started to neglect me and our relationship. I then pull him up on this and we end up breaking up for good because he says he can’t commit. He was single 4 years prior to me and claims to have never committed.

I have not dealt with this break up well. I have tried to contract him with whatever excuse I can’t think of. When we broke up he said I was the best Thing That ever happened to him and now recently he has said he has no feelings for me and doesn’t want me anymore. We’ve been apart for a month now and I am still struggling. I am constantly thinking he has moved On, he’s with someone else. I fear the day will come where he will give someone everything he never gave me. Why was I not worthy of a commitment? Why was I not Good enough for him? Why do I still miss him and I’m still hurting and he’s turned off his feelings like a tap running water?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 6:57 pm

Hi Christina,

instead of worrying, why not try the no contact rule?

Pu

December 16, 2017 at 4:08 pm

I improved myself much after that, first about my thinking to accept that i was wrong in the way treating my ex, so I opened my mind to understand his feeling then turn into action like I control my feeling and try to be more independent in life.
I’m posting good & positive things about my life in social media but unfortunately that we unfriend each other so he will not see those posts.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 5:18 pm

You have to make the posts public, so that if he gets curious, he will still see them. And you have to make changes that are for yourself only, like a new routine. Build a new skill, new hobby, do new things and make new friends, that whether you get him back or not, you will continue that routine.

Sarah

December 15, 2017 at 5:14 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up about 4 days ago after two years- we have lived together for well over a year. We fought a lot, mostly after him going out, making bad decisions and not coming- he used to not text at all, now he would say he wasn’t coming home. I always use to say I was leaving, but never would. The past few months we would argue and he would tell me to leave, I started to say ok. There is a child involved- his child. I had a great relationship with her- he doesn’t have a great plan or relationship with his ex, caused a lot of stress- we would argue like normal people over this. One night he opened up to me about things, told me I am the best thing to come into his life (multiple friends and his parents have told me this several times, some not even knowing me that well just seeing the changes in him) he loved me, needed me, told me I was a great parent to his child and couldn’t do it without me. He didn’t come home one night, told me, but made terrible decisions (you get what I mean)- and I chose to not speak to him for awhile to avoid a fight. When I approached him to calmly tell him how I felt he didn’t like the direction the conversation went and shut down. Told me I was “pissing” him off (pardon my language). I later said I wanted to go to my parents, which led to saying we need some time, I don’t think this is working, I can’t do this anymore. We broke up, he kept saying he thinks this is for the best, he wants to be happy and all we do is fight. Says he loves me, but we fight too much. He has acknowledged to family he needs to seek help an agreed to but does not want to work on us. He doesn’t understand our fighting was because of the decisions he was making and he couldn’t understand why I was upset. I want to be with him and would do anything to make it work- I told him this. I have not moved out, told him I don’t have a plan right now and he told me it was ok he wasn’t rushing me. He had tears when I came to pack some things, hugged me several times. Told me he has had a lot of time to think and realized he wasn’t happy, thought it was normal but realized things weren’t. I am heartbroken that he feels no pain, and can shut it off and not miss me, or feel the need to see or talk to me. I should also note, he cheated on me at the start of our relationship as well. Looking for some healthy direction

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 18, 2017 at 5:41 pm

Hi Sarah,
If you don’t have a plan on moving out, why did you pack your things?

Kristen

December 14, 2017 at 3:00 pm

So I dated a guy on and off for about a year. Then, we stopped seeing each other but remained in contact. During that time I do feel like I was initiating most of the contact, but it was always friendly and we kept talking about seeing each other again. Recently saw him and it was ok. He called a few days later and said it was great to see me but he didn’t feel the spark that he thinks he should feel. He also said he would like to be friends and still meet up from time to time and that he’s not saying the spark won’t ever be there but he didn’t want to lead me on. Like I said, recently I have done most of the initiating of contact. At this point, I don’t know what to do. I too felt that our meetup was just ok, but I am interested in pursuing a friendship because that part of our relationship/conversations has always been good. Since I was doing all the contacting, should I try and continue the friendship or is it best if I let him do that (it was his idea after all). Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 4:37 pm

Hi Kristen

if you want to move on, don’t be friends.. If you really just want to be friends, nothing more, then yes, talk to him..

Cat

December 14, 2017 at 2:29 pm

My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me about a month ago. I went through no contact for 30 days, and have talked to him a bit after that, not about the relationship just causally. After that though he told me that he hoped this meant we could be friends. Later, a mutual friend told me that he had told her he didn’t regret his decision of breaking up with me at all and another friend told me she saw him on Tinder a couple weeks after the breakup. I feel like he is acting like a completely different person than who he was in our relationship. Should I just accept that it is completely done and enter no contact again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 4:31 pm

Hi Cat,

Yup accept that he has moved on and if you weren’t active in improving yourself and in posting in social media during and now after nc, yes restart it..

Luna

December 14, 2017 at 11:31 am

Hi Amor

I wanted to know whether I could still apply NC or even limited NC because we have kids and when he comes around to fetch them we will have Ltd surface level talking like he will ask how’s things or work and I respond or if he’s been busy at work he lets me know if he can’t come see kids etc.

I guess I’m wondering how do I do complete NC with kids – also like for eg he has kids for 2wks with his family in another city so i won’t see them but I’m a mother and they small still and so I worry – how do I balance not calling him so much to check in how kids are doing with my kids not thinking I ‘don’t care’ because actually I’m not calling because I don’t want to bother the father and want to give him the space ? It’s so hard with balancing this act and even wondering if NC will work on him if he has asked me for space ? Like he wants me to leave him alone so I give it to him are you saying whether he misses me or not – is not the point ? Rather it’s for me to heal and figure myself out and only talk to him when necessary? Then I know I focus on becoming a better me for me and if he sees it he does if he doesn’t well it’s his loss?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2017 at 2:08 pm

What you last said is right..It’s still better to do it because chasing is never attractive..and hr probalby doesnt expect you to accept the situation and to improve

Sophie

December 14, 2017 at 10:58 am

My ex boyfriend and I have broken up for about week and a half now. He broke up with me by text while at work, as in the heat of an argument I suggested breaking up. I didnt mean it, I just wanted him to take me seriously. I went to his house after work to try and make up. His parents initally ignored me at the door, but I called them and asked to be let in. He wasnt there, or at least hiding. I knownit was wrong, but it was very sudden and we were always with each other when we were together (on and off for 8 years). I ran into him on the train (genuinely completely by accident, as it was the train I usually take). I saw that he was on his phone on a dating website only 4 days after we’d broken up. I was devestated. My emotions went haywire. I told him he was horrible, then begged for him to take me back, then asked if I could just hug him one last time, then told him off again. Ultimately, he said he didnt want to see me for a long, long time and that we arent right for each other. That is really not how he made me feel the day before we broke up, because he insisted that he wanted to get engaged to me in the future. I really dont know what’s going through his head. I think he may be having a quarter life crisis, as he is really nowhere near where he wants to be in his life. On the train he claimed I was stopping him from fulfilling those dreams, when actually all I did was try to support him. His friends told me that he wants to break up for ‘the foreseeable future’. I don’t know what that means. what do I do? can someone please help?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 4:14 pm

Hi Sophie,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

Confused

December 14, 2017 at 2:11 am

My boyfriend and I broke up 4 days ago after 6 amazing months together… In that time I fell head over heals in love with him and his daughter. He is a new single dad and decided he needed time to be just him and his daughter and I gave him some space but then they spent the day with me and my son and he kissed me before he left, saying he would text me… And didn’t. I basically told him I love him and he should take the time he needs and contact me if he changes his mind but not to if he isn’t sure because that hurt pretty bad- no more mixed signals… I am now in the 4th day of NC and it hurts so badly… My one question is I bought them each a Christmas gift before we broke up, one I can’t return or would even want to because its very personalized (as well as a beautiful Christmas dress for his daughter to wear). BUT Christmas is only 14 days into our NC… Can I leave them for him and a note that simply says Merry Christmas or is that breaking the NC rule even if we do not talk? Could it be a good ice breaker?

BTW.. We broke up in tears with both of us not wanting it but him confused and me feeling rejected and not worth fighting for…

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 4:39 pm

give it a week, if he doesn’t change his mind, send the gifts ahead and then start nc.

Marie

December 13, 2017 at 9:49 pm

My ex and I were together for 2 years and he left me about 4 1/2 years ago. At the time I was very depressed and unstable and after the breakup I felt like I had nothing left and had what can only be described as a breakdown. He saw all of it, as we’ve been very close friends since the breakup. After about 2 and a half year after the breakup (about 2 years ago) I moved away started doing a lot better and getting over him. We’ve been in touch this whole time. I stopped contacting him about 6 months ago, but I always answered his calls. We saw eachother for the first time in almost 2 years this recently and a lot of feelings came back up. He was very affectionate and we ended up sleeping together. Since then I can’t seem to get my mind off of him. I wonder if he’s feeling the same or if he’s still just my friend. I know it would take a lot from him to want me back because of how I reacted after the breakup. And I’m not sure if I can trust the fact that I think there might be more coming from his side because I’m emotionnally involved. I almost think that he either has no romantic feelings for me, or that he has never stopped having romantic feelings for me and has just been afraid. For reference he has not been in a serious relationship since the breakup and has become increasingly affectionate to me as I’ve been doing better. My question is do you think that getting back together could ever happen? And is not contacting him at this stage advisable? Should I not even answer his calls?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 3:48 pm

Hi Marie,

yeah, there’s a chance but right now you’re friends with benefits.. check this one:
EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship

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