Most of the clients I work with want one thing above all,

They want to find a way to get their exes back.

So they try their hearts out.

But trying isn’t always enough. In fact, some of my clients will try so hard that they overstay their welcome and end up pushing their ex further away.

Today we are going to be looking at the scenarios for when it is too late to get back with your ex.

What do they look like?

How do you identify them?

What do you do if you do identify them?

Let’s begin!

What Has To Happen For An Ex To Give Up On You?

There are really four concepts I want to talk to you about today,

  1. The Triangle Theory
  2. You’ve Failed No Contact Too Many Times
  3. You’re Emotionally Unstable
  4. You’ve Trampled On One Of Your Exes Core Values

In my opinion, these are the scenarios where you are probably going to fail to get back with an ex. Now, some of you may be looking at this list and freaking out thinking that you are on it.

After all, what person is emotionally stable after a breakup?

Here’s what I have to say to that.

I’m talking about extremes here.

And while rules are always important to establish there are always exceptions to them.

So, technically speaking we can’t rule people who are in these scenarios out completely.

Just make sure you read each of these concepts in-depth before you go out and make assumptions about them.

Let’s dive in.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Concept #1: The Triangle Theory

I’m always looking for new topics to do YouTube videos on.

You see, the trick is to not get too specific. You attract more views if you do videos about broader subjects. One thing I always see when hunting for good topics are videos on,

How to get an ex back if you are months apart.

How to get an ex back if you are years apart.

You get the idea.

Of course, I’ve compiled my own thoughts in my book about this topic but I always get curious to see what other people say and I never hear people talking about the triangle theory.

I don’t know if they are just too lazy to actually do the research or if they simply just want to disregard it’s existence but make no mistake it exists.

What Is The Triangle Theory

In short, the triangle theory refers to what your overall chances will look like with your ex after a breakup over time. It actually forms an interesting triangle if you chart it out,

Initially you’ll notice that your chances are pretty low but as time goes on and as you start doing the right things which is often overlooked you’ll notice that your chances inevitably will plateau.

In other words, if you are going to attempt to get your ex back ideally it’d be at this point,

But what happens if you don’t get your ex back at this point.

What happens if too much time goes by?

Well, inevitably your chances will become less and less.

There’s a reason why one of the most difficult situations you can find yourself in is one where you are trying to get your ex back after years apart.

Concept #2: You’ve Failed No Contact Too Many Times

I grouped concept one and two together because in my opinion they are very similar.

Where concept one is all about taking too much time to get your ex back. Concept two is about failing a strategy too many times.

A lot of people overlook small things like this.

Society has them conditioned to believe that it is ok to fail time and time again.

Lets take a strategy like the no contact rule.

One I have written about extensively.

Anyone who will have you believe that it’s ok to fail the no contact rule time and time again is dead wrong.

Here’s my reasoning,

Think of it like this.

Each time you attempt a strategy like the no contact rule and you break it, it’s probably going to lose a little bit of it’s power,

That visualization not working for you?

Ok, let’s pretend that you are playing someone in chess.

You use the same strategy every single time to beat them.

The first time you play you do end up beating them.

Heck, I’ll even give you the second game.

But once a pattern is established your opponent will wise up and start adapting.

Why would you think attempting and failing the no contact rule over and over again would be any different than this?

Concept #3: You Are Emotionally Unstable

Quick question, what happens when you do everything right to get your ex back but they can sense that you are emotionally unstable?

The Answer: They want nothing to do with you

When I was in college I met a girl.

I know that sounds like the vaguest opening so let’s try this on for size.

At that point it was probably the prettiest girl I had ever had the honor of taking on a date.

I don’t know if I had been lucky up until that point but any time I took a pretty girl on a date I always found that their internal personality matched their external looks,

This one was different though.

As I got to know her throughout the date she dropped a couple of bombshells.

  • Her parents had died a few years ago unexpectedly and she was heartbroken
  • Her sister was bisexual and was married to a man
  • She was smoked pot every day (which is a big turn off to me)

The date got even weirder as she started acting very strange.

In the end, I came to realize that she wasn’t emotionally stable and while she was very pretty it didn’t overcome how much of a turn off her behavior was to me.

Now, does that make me insensitive?

Totally and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

It’s easy to see what happened here.

Her parents unexpectedly being killed crushed her and a lot of the “unstableness” I was sensed was from that.

But I’m selfish when it comes to my dating choices.

So, I didn’t take her on any more dates.

Here’s my point.

The more unstable you appear to your ex the more likely they are to high tail it out of there.

Concept #4: You’ve Trampled On One Of Your Exes Core Values

Everyone has their proverbial line in the sand.

The point of no return.

Everyone has that one core value that they won’t substitute for anything.

For me, it’s cheating.

Essentially if someone cheats on me I have enough self awareness to understand I can’t forgive that.

Some people can.

Some people can’t.

It’s truly a personal preference.

What are your exes core values?

Can they not get over the fact that you flirted with those three girls over there?

What about the fact that you can’t stop lying to them?

Can they forgive those things?

Here is the dirty little secret my peers don’t want to let you in on. As sad as it is, there are some situations where there can be no success. There are some things that you can do to your ex that will ruin any chance you have of getting them back.

And it all has to do with that line.

What’s the one thing that can be done to them that will make them say enough is enough.

Like I said, for me it’s cheating.

If someone cheats on me that’d be it.

Where is your exes line?

And did you cross it?

Conclusion

I’ll admit that I was a bit vague on the last concept because there is so much personalization there so I wouldn’t be shocked if you had questions on it. If you do make sure you ask them in the comments below.

I WILL ANSWER YOU!

I promise.

Let’s do a quick recap of everything we learned today.

  • There are typically four concepts I want you to keep an eye out for on if it’s too late to get your ex back
  • The Triangle Theory
  • You’ve Failed No Contact Too Many Times
  • You’re Emotionally Unstable
  • You’ve Trampled On One Of Your Exes Core Values

Again, I will be answering your comments so don’t be shy to ask whatever questions you have about the article.

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53 thoughts on “When Is It Too Late To Get Back With Your Ex?”

  1. Avatar

    sam

    May 24, 2020 at 1:47 am

    My bf and i broke up about two months ago but for the first month and a half we would still talk all the time and hook up. we decided to take a two week break and not talk. the day before the two week no contact was over i saw him out. He didn’t want to see me but i begged him to talk to me. he told me he didnt want to text me and see me right now because he had stuff going on in his life. a week later i got drunk and started texting him not stop GNAT. he ended up blocking me on facebook instagram phone and snapchat. I went to his house that night and begged him to come to the door for almost three hours and i finally had one of my guy friends pick me up. I am also worried that he thinks I had hooked up with my guy friend and i never would. I felt awful about it in the morning. i texted him on linkedin and appolgized to him and he responded and said i should applogize to his friends not him and for me not to come back to his house. I feel like he hates me and never wants to talk to me again. I decided that I shouldnt text him for 45 days because I knew he needed space and i didnt want to ruin it even more. Is it too late that I annoyed him so much for him to block me and feel like he never will unblock me and not have anything to do with me again? I want to delete all my social media because it is stressing me out knowing that I am blocked.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 29, 2020 at 3:00 pm

      Hey Sam, if you want your ex back then I would suggest that you keep your social media and spending some time working on your Holy Trinity and being Ungettable so that you can use social media as a window into your new life without your ex. This is going to be useful when you want to show your ex that you are moving on with your life. When you have completed your 45 day No Contact, reaching out to your ex with the texting phase you need to be in total emotional control and understand that it can take time if your ex blocked you on some social media platforms. You will be unblocked when your ex sees that you are no longer reaching out and are less upset about the break up

  2. Avatar

    Tan

    May 14, 2020 at 9:29 pm

    My gf broke up with gf 5 months ago. Im a girl at 25 she is 26, we were together for 4 years. We keep in touch a little (im the one indicating contact almost every time). She has been pretty ”off” in my opinon. Have not showed so much interest in me, my life or well being. Just to focus on herself. We spoke a couple of times by phone. She said she loved me still. We love/loved each other very much and didt have many problems. Even she told me that our years together has been the best time of her life. And it has been. Thats why the break up was such a chock, to me and everyone elese. She broke up with me to be with herself. Be free and only focusing on herself and what she wants to do and achive. Which I totally respect and actually belivie in (if you know her you would to). She has been away abroad for 4 mothns, she came home 2 weeks ago and we met to take care of the last things in our apartment. It was emotional, is was just like we were together again. The same feeling. She told me as well. We talked about us, what we want in the future (which is the same things but I have come to that point now that I want it as much as her. I just have not showed her enough before I think). She wanted to leave some stuff behind, see what the future holds. Told me that if she feel the same this autum she maybe want to date again. We kissed and huged eschother many times. Said that we love and care for each other and that we will see each other again. It was pretty beautiful actually, sad, but beautiful. 1,5 week has now passed and I asked her if she wanted to take a hike someday, and she hesitated. Said that she still loves me but its to soon. She really want to focusing on herself and dont want to be in a relationship over all. Just do stuff she wants, for herself. She does not want me to ”wait” for her. But nothing know what the future holds… So here I am, again. Starting from the begining. Im not mad at her. Maybe I should, but im just sad, because I deeply belivie it does not have to go this way. I know what I should do, what I have to do. For myself. I just cannot do it. If you really really belivie in something, if the relationship actually was very beautiful the whole time, how are you suppose to let that go? I’ve read every article about this on the whole internet and Im still not even close to actually let go.

    I know you cant do magic, but please. Give me just one advice on what to do? I would rather have advice on how to get the love of my life back, but i guess you will give me another answer…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 8:33 pm

      Hi Tan, so there is not magic wand where I can give you the answer to how to get her back. But I can tell you that when we focus on ourselves, become the Ungettable Girl to our ex this makes them notice us again and consider what they have lost because we are doing amazing when they are feeling less than. If you have not done so then you would need to complete a 30 day No Contact, where you do not speak, reply or social media stalk your ex at all for that period of time. Then you focus on your Holy Trinity and prepare yourself for the texting phase. The texting phase needs to be short, positive and her interests in focus for a little while so that you spend your time working up the value ladder to re-attract your ex.

  3. Avatar

    Rebecca

    May 11, 2020 at 6:12 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago because I couldn’t let go of the past. I needed some time to figure things out. We have been in contact since the breakup because it was always so much fun. He wanted to fix things so badly but I just wasn’t ready to give it another try, he said that he was going to wait untill I was ready. Now I am ready but he met someone else. Is it too late?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 12, 2020 at 8:48 am

      Hi Rebecca, I don’t know if it is too late you would need to do the being there method. However ask yourself if you are only ready now because you fear he is moving on from you? Not that you actually want to be with him.

  4. Avatar

    Jen

    April 26, 2020 at 9:49 pm

    My ex broke up with me 3 months ago because he thinks I am too friendly. I love him and would never cheat on him. We have been in contact since the break up and have had sex on several occasions. I miss him and want him back but he says that we are too different and now doesn’t even want to be friends.

  5. Avatar

    Jess Alvarez

    March 25, 2020 at 1:31 pm

    Hello Chris,

    It feels like it’s too late to get my ex back although we still live together. His reason for breaking up is wanting freedom. We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms and he’s been wanting to be friends. Asking me to hang out casually. I’ve tried no contact before but he reached out during it and I had to break it due to external complications so it failed big time. We’ve both crossed relationship boundaries, so he’s adamant on not trying to make a future with me. Our lease ends in a month and half and he’s ready to move on without me after that. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to lose him as a partner and I don’t want his friendship.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 4:33 pm

      Hi Jess, so when you live together you have to do something called limited no contact. This is where you stay civil but you do not spend time with him as a friend etc. Try spend more time with your friends than with him so that you are keeping busy and showing him that you are moving on with your life. For him to not see a future with you after you have reached a point of living together in your relationship, I am wondering what has changed. Do you want different things for the future? Read the articles about Holy Trinity and becoming Ungettable and see what you can apply to your life, I understand that times to do some of the activities are going to be difficult during the pandemic

  6. Avatar

    Chaz

    March 9, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Hi

    So my ex broke up with me 12 months ago. It is virtually impossible to do no contact as he mails me every few weeks. We only talk as friends. What can I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 10, 2020 at 10:18 pm

      Hi Chaz, it is not impossible to do No Contact, as all you have to do is not reply to his email… ignore it. Make sure that you do not speak for 30 days in total and then reach out with a text or email that Chris suggests

  7. Avatar

    Peyton

    February 9, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    My ex and I were together for 2 and a half years. We’ve been broken up for a year now and when we first broke up he got into a rebound relationship but it only lasted 2 weeks and he hasn’t been with anyone since. We stayed in contact and continued to hook up after he broke up with the rebound but we still fought a lot because I had a lot of insecurity and frustration because he kept telling me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I cut things off finally and I stopped contacting him for a month. After the 30 days I texted him and apologized for our last fight that we had before I went no contact and I told him that I hope things are going well for him but that I’m not ready to be in contact with him yet because I still needed to work on myself for a while. He accepted my apology and said he was happy to hear that I was working on myself finally and that he hoped things went well for me too but he understood that I still needed space to work on myself and that he felt the same way (he needs space too and wants to keep working on himself too). I’ve been trying to get him back for a year should I give things more time and reach out to him when I feel like I have become the ungettable girl and I’ve had time to heal and work on myself or should I just give up on trying to get back with him because he’s moved on by now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 12, 2020 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Peyton, so if you have been trying to get your ex back for a year, have you followed this program or have you just been reaching out and hoping for the best? I believe that if you do a no contact then reach out with the type of text Chris suggests where it is supposed to get your ex interested in having a conversation with you

  8. Avatar

    Emi

    December 28, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    My ex and I were together for 3.5 years. We’ve broken up because I lied about meeting a friend who likes me. I tried my best to save our relationship but he wasn’t on the same page because he didn’t communicate well. I failed the NCR (no contact rule) and he said that pushed him further away. I didn’t understand NCR that time. He said he grew tired and will his feelings will never change. He is stubborn that he will never love me again no matter how much I change. How can I convince him to try again this time after giving both of us individual space? And how can I not be scared to try NCR?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 11:29 pm

      To help you understand that No Contact is needed almost every successful client who has got their ex back has had to do a No Contact at the start of the process. You need time apart from your ex, you need time to work on yourself and you need time to let your ex miss you, think about you, and consider if they made a mistake losing you

  9. Avatar

    teana

    October 28, 2019 at 1:04 am

    Hi Chris,
    I am a single mom with 13yo son. with my ex- I had 2 months dating+7 mths relationship (4.5mths lived together) he was depressed with my son&me quarrels every week. he helped me to control my son&he ended up quarreled with my son. me&bf didn’t have major issues, but he said it’s relationship between my son&me. he can’t see the 3of us together,he can’t accept bcause of his bad trauma in childhood with his parents and he doesn’t want to experience the same thing again. so he decided to leave me. I begged him 4x, it’s almost 2 weeks. he keep saying No. he said he still care about me, but he has feeling maybe just as a friend. he told me he cried,because he feel sad to hurt me.he said,me&son already passed his comfort zone. Last thing i said, I didnt do anything good for him, so I will do what he wants: to end the relationship. he never reply. then i message him again, i said “i regretted with what i’ve said” he never reply.
    is there any chance for me to get him back ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 30, 2019 at 6:49 pm

      Hi Teana, maybe for the time being focusing on working through the issues you and your son are having first before allowing another person into his life is best. As you were not together very long it will be hard to say yes he will come back but following the program does give you your best chance of getting him talking to you again starting with a NC of 30 days minimum

  10. Avatar

    Ashley

    October 21, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    Hi there, I’m interested in purchasing your resources but I want to know if it would work, given my circumstance before I invest. I’m not sure which comments you decide to reply to but here goes…
    I dated my boyfriend for right at a year and we were starting to get closer. Suddenly, he started pulling away. Next thing I know he was breaking up with me, telling me that he didn’t want kids or to get married. I was devastated and didn’t understand why, especially since we never really had those conversations before. At the time he told me that it was because he wanted to focus on his career but he said that he loved me tremendously. I couldn’t implement NCR. It was to hard. But whenever I’d text or call he’d always respond. The last time we met in person, he revealed that the real reason for the break up is because he didn’t agree with my family (who have been nothing, but nice to him but he’s morally conflicted due to differences in beliefs). He felt that we were getting closer to marriage and he knew this would be a conflict and he didn’t want to put be in a position to have to choose. This was like a knife to my heart. He also admitted he felt like he was making a mistake and he’d probably never find anyone he’d love as much as me. He admitted that he was having doubts. This gave me hope that he could change his mind. So I began calling & texting more, thinking that we could work on this. I never gave him the space he needed. We had one last meeting, after he pretty much said his mind was fixed and he wouldn’t budge on his feelings for my family. Again, still stating that I’m perfect for him, telling me I deserve the world and professing his love for me but washing his hands with it and not wanting to prolong the “inevitable.” I didn’t want him to leave. He stayed. We laughed. We cried but eventually he said I had to let him go. I love him and I feel that he’s the one. And I know that he loves me and I don’t think there’s anyone else. Do you think that your resources could help restore us or should I just move on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 21, 2019 at 8:24 pm

      Hi Ashley, so 100% The EBR PRO at least would help you as would the one to one coaching here. He is conflicted by his decision. So you need to ask yourself do you love him more than you love the idea of getting married? It is hard but there are sooooo many couples who are together a lifetime and dont get married but still have children. OR if he doesnt want children either then you need to consider do you really want them? IF you do then you need to stay true to yourself you want marriage and children. And then you HAVE TO do a no contact, become the ungettable girl and read as much as you can through the website to help you work on yourself and how to reach out to him when the time comes

  11. Avatar

    WLD

    October 19, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    Hi Chris – I followed your “NC plan” to a T. After 1.5 months of no contact he reached out and wanted to meet up. The date was fun, and I was an improved-best-version if myself. No drama or brining up the past. At the end of the date on my way out he hugged me, started crying, apologized for everything and said I should take my things and that he’d always cherish the last 2.5 years together. I gracefully thanked him for the apology and then said goodbye. I’m so confused, he clearly cares and still enjoys my company. The date was his idea. Do I start no contact again, reach out, or just move on? It’s been a week and I haven’t heard from him. Thanks.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 20, 2019 at 7:54 am

      Hey WLD, so where the date went great but he flipped back so soon. Fear may have gotten the better of him so he backed off. Id give it to day 21 and reach out with one of Chris’ texts to get him talking. This time don’t skip the value chain (texting -> phone calls -> meet ups )

  12. Avatar

    Bonnie santillo

    September 15, 2019 at 7:21 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up in april after being together for 4 yrs..we had trouble in the 1st year of our relationship . I guess you could say I cheated emotionally for 2 months .we were going to split and stayed together happily for 3 years after..we started to form a life together and talked about the future and retirement and vacations and a home..in over the winter of this year he was different not just to me but every one..everything seemed to be fine.till march and at the end of april he said it was over..I dont understand
    ..he said that he trusted me ..I did everything I could for the past three years and told him how much I loved him and showed him ..our relationship seemed better and what was missing was fixed…..I have worked on myself and had no contact at least for the past 2 months .. it’s going on 5 months..I’ve tried to reach out..I would love to talk with him and so he can see I am the same person he met….advise

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 17, 2019 at 8:41 am

      Hi Bonnie, Read some of the articles about how to text your ex to get him wanting to talk to you

  13. Avatar

    Nicole

    September 6, 2019 at 1:15 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me on August 30th because when he came back early from tne Navy, he thought I didn’t love him anymore. I was shocked and I didn’t say anything until after, I asked for a chance and he agreed. He wanted me to show him that I care, That I can put him first but later he changed him mind. He said to move on even though we both still love each other, he got a gf 2 days after which was his ex. We’ve been together for almost 2 years. I know love can’t fade so fast. I don’t know if I should keep trying and I don’t want to force anything.
    We had a deep connection and loved each other. No matter what, we were together but when he got back from the Navy he wouldn’t talk to me as much anymore and I guess he couldn’t handle that I was getting stressed too. He had to get a job, a car, a home,etc. And i wasnt 100% there to comfort him. But also.. he got tired of lies. I cheated on him many months ago, by kissing this guy but I stopped and i knew it was wrong because around that time he had sex with another girl but i forgave him. Do i have hope? I know with all my heart, that we bring out the best in each other but because of all the stress and anger recently, he thinks he was never happy in the relationship. That he never stopped feeling a hole but i know that I helped him love himself more and be more happy. How can I show him I care? He has his ex back which she didn’t help him grow and he left her for me. He’s very stubborn and said he moved on but what we had, that should be impossible. We broke up twice before but they lasted a week and the other was 3 months. Since then, we were committed until he cheated and then i cheated… please help. He forgave me when i did cheat because i told him when it happened but i didnt tell him the full detail. And when he did cheat on me, he couldn’t remember the full detail.

  14. Avatar

    Itati Lopez

    August 30, 2019 at 8:27 am

    Hey Chris,
    Earlier this month my long-distance boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. He told me that he didn’t feel the same way about me and didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. He told me that he still cared about me and wanted to be friends but he just didn’t see a future with me. I begged for him to stay but ultimately settled on no contact. Only two days had passed before he texted one of my friends to send me a paragraph explaining that I was the best girlfriend he ever had and he was sorry that he didn’t love me. I resumed contact with him for the day but we agreed in the end to stop talking again. It’s been on and off since and I’m hoping I could win him back. We still plan on visiting in December but as friends, it would be the first time we meet. I feel as though I’ve messed this up too many times because not only did we break the no contact rule several times, but we’ve also had many moments of crying on the phone and me showing a lot of emotional instability. I am hoping that there’s something I could do to win him back, please reply! Thanks.

  15. Avatar

    Eden

    August 3, 2019 at 2:00 pm

    Hey Chris,

    Are you still there?:( pleaaaase reply

    My ex and I broke up in the very beginning of February. After that I had a bit of a rebound fling for 2 months and then realized that I missed my ex. I texted him that I missed him and confessed that I was with someone else in the last two months (In an intimate way as well but only ever once in the 2 months). He was really upset with me because cheating is something he wouldn’t forgive either and he’s always told me that. However, I don’t really understand how that works because we weren’t together at the time and I apologized over and over and over again from the bottom of my heart because I made a mistake and I was truly sorry. I still am. I’ve tried the no contact rule a few times by now ever since May and he has come back to me a few times as well because it seems to drive him crazy when I ignore him. He would usually start video calling. He would usually start calling 2 days later in the beginning and then the gaps started to get a bit bigger and it would become 2 weeks. I eventually told him to stop calling if he can’t make up his mind about what he wants. He said he would stop and ended up staying away for a whole month. He followed me around one night and claimed that he wanted to see who I was with because he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else but doesn’t want me back either. “Ever” apparently. I asked him to block me on social media and he said he would but he never did. So I blocked him. It’s been 3 weeks now and he still hasn’t reached out. In total, it’s been 6 months since we’ve broken up. Even though I only really told him about the other guy 2 months later. So it’s been 4 months since he’s known. In May he said he’s forgiven, but he will never be able to look past what I’ve done. Which I don’t really know if that’s true forgiveness. But I feel like it’s too late and it’s killing me. It seems almost too easy for him to just walk away because I do know that he really loved me. How do you just walk away from 3 years just like that.

  16. Avatar

    JUNIIR

    July 23, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    Hey Chris
    I broke up with my g.f in April and 2 days later she started dating a friend of hers who is the complete opposite of what i am. I made a few mistakes like begging but only for a week
    I took the 60 days no contact and she started snooping around a lot of places she knew i’l be at.
    Until she i initiated contact at a mutual friend’s funeral last month.
    She really seemed so interested to be talking to me but it was only for a short time before i ruined every little progress i had made by writing her a super sensitive letter
    I admit, i tried not to act like i was trying to get her back but i poured out a lot of emotions which i now regret
    Further more, a week later, l appeared at her door step asking if she was free sometime so we could talk as friends and ask a few questions pertaining our breakup as the main agenda but she was so cold
    Now i feel like its too late to try to fix things as its been 3 months and she still is seeing this other guy…..
    What should i do?

  17. Avatar

    briana

    July 23, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    hey chris! one of the core values of my ex is chastity and we ended up going too far. He broke up with me because he feels the need to fix himself because of this. Is it too late for me to get him back?

  18. Avatar

    Ale Torres

    July 14, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    Hi Chris, So I dated this guy for 1 year 5 months, but when we were 1 year I made a huge mistake and I disrespected my boyfriend, a guy kissed me in a party and I kissed him back for some seconds, then when I realized what happened I immediately letf and call my boyfriend (we are long distance but We both live in europe, and this happened in my home contry in America when I came for two weeks) and told him about it, the other problem was that I lied about it, I didnt said the complete truth, some days after I said a bit more and like a month after I sad the complete truth, I feel for him cheating would be that something he cant forgave, but he did forgave me, but then months passed and a guy forced me into a kiss in a club (I didnt kissed him back), I told my ex but I was so scared that again I didnt said the complete truth and some days later I did, I was just so scared, and for me cheating indeed is something unforgettable so I was totally confused and scared. Anyway, we moved on and all was ok, but some months after the time came closer wen I was comming to my home county for about two months, he started getting really insecure and really emotional and we started fighting a lot, I suggested a time and to break up because he was so unstable, having so many bad thoughts and nightmares about it, but he didnt wanted, until one time he said we should break up, I then realized I didnt wanted to loose this guy, I made a mistake and I begged but he didnt changed his mind, but we kept talking every day, we met 4 days before I came to my home country, 2 werw full of talking about it and ups and downs, the last two were nice, but when he took me to the airport he said he didnt wanted me to wait for him, because he didnt knew if at the wnd he would want to get me back, that he is scared he feels better without me and then not want to get back, I truly dont know what to do.

  19. Avatar

    Ann

    May 14, 2019 at 5:04 pm

    Hi Chris,

    Resuming very shortly what happened: I snooped into my BF email and regret it. My BF discovered it and I admit it and showed my regret. He asked me to leave and move out but things calmed down a bit and I stayed (we have been living together for a year and together for a little more than 2 years). A week later when I asked him if we could have a talk (together or with a 3rd person) about us after he would come back from a trip he got mad about the 3rd person idea and we fought and in a heated moment he told me to leave. Right now he is on a trip and I havent heard from him since he left. Im calm and hope after his trip he comes back with a different point of view.
    Do you think I crossed his limit? Or did he react emotionally and with time there is still an opportunity for us?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 14, 2019 at 11:28 pm

      Hi Ann…..emotions can get out of whack easily in relationships. More calm, space, and time can be helpful to you both.

  20. Avatar

    Anushree Saikia

    May 7, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    My ex was downright vicious to me when I tried to contact him after 44 days of no contact. He said some mean things about my character and threatened me not to contact him. I was astonished because I just wished him for some special occasion. The fact that I asked his best friend if they were dating spurred him on even more and he was even more vicious.

    He says he is happy with someone else now he says and that broke my heart. I guess I did crush his core value when I asked for an open relationship and went forth with it. But after the first breakup because of the open relationship thing, 6 months later, he gave us another chance. 2 months later he broke up with me. Since then he has been aloof and has moved on completely. I was in contact until 44 days ago when I decided to try no contact. But he has now found a girl and is happy apparently.

    Is there no chance of recovery?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 7, 2019 at 7:53 pm

      HI Anushree…you need not tolerate anyone who is abusive and treats you viciously. Your focus should be on your own emotional health and personal growth.

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