Most of the clients I work with want one thing above all,

They want to find a way to get their exes back.

So they try their hearts out.

But trying isn’t always enough. In fact, some of my clients will try so hard that they overstay their welcome and end up pushing their ex further away.

Today we are going to be looking at the scenarios for when it is too late to get back with your ex.

What do they look like?

How do you identify them?

What do you do if you do identify them?

Let’s begin!

What Has To Happen For An Ex To Give Up On You?

There are really four concepts I want to talk to you about today,

  1. The Triangle Theory
  2. You’ve Failed No Contact Too Many Times
  3. You’re Emotionally Unstable
  4. You’ve Trampled On One Of Your Exes Core Values

In my opinion, these are the scenarios where you are probably going to fail to get back with an ex. Now, some of you may be looking at this list and freaking out thinking that you are on it.

After all, what person is emotionally stable after a breakup?

Here’s what I have to say to that.

I’m talking about extremes here.

And while rules are always important to establish there are always exceptions to them.

So, technically speaking we can’t rule people who are in these scenarios out completely.

Just make sure you read each of these concepts in-depth before you go out and make assumptions about them.

Let’s dive in.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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Concept #1: The Triangle Theory

I’m always looking for new topics to do YouTube videos on.

You see, the trick is to not get too specific. You attract more views if you do videos about broader subjects. One thing I always see when hunting for good topics are videos on,

How to get an ex back if you are months apart.

How to get an ex back if you are years apart.

You get the idea.

Of course, I’ve compiled my own thoughts in my book about this topic but I always get curious to see what other people say and I never hear people talking about the triangle theory.

I don’t know if they are just too lazy to actually do the research or if they simply just want to disregard it’s existence but make no mistake it exists.

What Is The Triangle Theory

In short, the triangle theory refers to what your overall chances will look like with your ex after a breakup over time. It actually forms an interesting triangle if you chart it out,

Initially you’ll notice that your chances are pretty low but as time goes on and as you start doing the right things which is often overlooked you’ll notice that your chances inevitably will plateau.

In other words, if you are going to attempt to get your ex back ideally it’d be at this point,

But what happens if you don’t get your ex back at this point.

What happens if too much time goes by?

Well, inevitably your chances will become less and less.

There’s a reason why one of the most difficult situations you can find yourself in is one where you are trying to get your ex back after years apart.

Concept #2: You’ve Failed No Contact Too Many Times

I grouped concept one and two together because in my opinion they are very similar.

Where concept one is all about taking too much time to get your ex back. Concept two is about failing a strategy too many times.

A lot of people overlook small things like this.

Society has them conditioned to believe that it is ok to fail time and time again.

Lets take a strategy like the no contact rule.

One I have written about extensively.

Anyone who will have you believe that it’s ok to fail the no contact rule time and time again is dead wrong.

Here’s my reasoning,

Think of it like this.

Each time you attempt a strategy like the no contact rule and you break it, it’s probably going to lose a little bit of it’s power,

That visualization not working for you?

Ok, let’s pretend that you are playing someone in chess.

You use the same strategy every single time to beat them.

The first time you play you do end up beating them.

Heck, I’ll even give you the second game.

But once a pattern is established your opponent will wise up and start adapting.

Why would you think attempting and failing the no contact rule over and over again would be any different than this?

Concept #3: You Are Emotionally Unstable

Quick question, what happens when you do everything right to get your ex back but they can sense that you are emotionally unstable?

The Answer: They want nothing to do with you

When I was in college I met a girl.

I know that sounds like the vaguest opening so let’s try this on for size.

At that point it was probably the prettiest girl I had ever had the honor of taking on a date.

I don’t know if I had been lucky up until that point but any time I took a pretty girl on a date I always found that their internal personality matched their external looks,

This one was different though.

As I got to know her throughout the date she dropped a couple of bombshells.

  • Her parents had died a few years ago unexpectedly and she was heartbroken
  • Her sister was bisexual and was married to a man
  • She was smoked pot every day (which is a big turn off to me)

The date got even weirder as she started acting very strange.

In the end, I came to realize that she wasn’t emotionally stable and while she was very pretty it didn’t overcome how much of a turn off her behavior was to me.

Now, does that make me insensitive?

Totally and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

It’s easy to see what happened here.

Her parents unexpectedly being killed crushed her and a lot of the “unstableness” I was sensed was from that.

But I’m selfish when it comes to my dating choices.

So, I didn’t take her on any more dates.

Here’s my point.

The more unstable you appear to your ex the more likely they are to high tail it out of there.

Concept #4: You’ve Trampled On One Of Your Exes Core Values

Everyone has their proverbial line in the sand.

The point of no return.

Everyone has that one core value that they won’t substitute for anything.

For me, it’s cheating.

Essentially if someone cheats on me I have enough self awareness to understand I can’t forgive that.

Some people can.

Some people can’t.

It’s truly a personal preference.

What are your exes core values?

Can they not get over the fact that you flirted with those three girls over there?

What about the fact that you can’t stop lying to them?

Can they forgive those things?

Here is the dirty little secret my peers don’t want to let you in on. As sad as it is, there are some situations where there can be no success. There are some things that you can do to your ex that will ruin any chance you have of getting them back.

And it all has to do with that line.

What’s the one thing that can be done to them that will make them say enough is enough.

Like I said, for me it’s cheating.

If someone cheats on me that’d be it.

Where is your exes line?

And did you cross it?

Conclusion

I’ll admit that I was a bit vague on the last concept because there is so much personalization there so I wouldn’t be shocked if you had questions on it. If you do make sure you ask them in the comments below.

I WILL ANSWER YOU!

I promise.

Let’s do a quick recap of everything we learned today.

  • There are typically four concepts I want you to keep an eye out for on if it’s too late to get your ex back
  • The Triangle Theory
  • You’ve Failed No Contact Too Many Times
  • You’re Emotionally Unstable
  • You’ve Trampled On One Of Your Exes Core Values

Again, I will be answering your comments so don’t be shy to ask whatever questions you have about the article.

What to Read Next

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By Chris Seiter | 2 comments

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64 thoughts on “When Is It Too Late To Get Back With Your Ex?”

  1. Avatar

    Ashley

    January 30, 2021 at 11:27 pm

    My ex and I in the beginning, we were very close and had a connection, we had very little fights and communicated. As time went on the fights got worse but I’m assuming that’s because we moved in really quickly together. Communication got worse then I feel like we just got comfortable and stopped doing things to keep the relationship going. Fast forward a couple days ago we got in a argument me expressing my feelings about something he’s doing and from there it went south. At first it wasn’t that bad until I broke one of his core values and this is one of the main arguments and I think it’s happened one too many times I don’t know if I have a chance we still live together unfortunately well me leaving every couple of days. He has the means to leave but won’t what does this mean because he says he’s fed up and done and he’s said this before so you can see that I’m very confused and I’m very stressed because I’m not in the know.

  2. Avatar

    Ashalee

    January 30, 2021 at 11:16 pm

    My ex and I have been having the same issue over and over but we always end up getting back together but this time I think it went too far. I’m very afraid for the outcome and don’t know what to do.

  3. Avatar

    Bethany

    January 27, 2021 at 7:25 pm

    So , my ex broke up with me a few days ago. He said he needed to focus on himself and his children. (He has two boys).

    The time we have spent together has been amazing, we have been inseparable, get on like a house on fire.

    He makes me laugh, smile and feel so safe and In love like I never have before.

    Unfortunately, I lied to him a few weeks back about talking to another guy, it was a mistake and I never intended to hurt him.

    He promised me that we would get past it, he told me that he knew I didn’t mean it, that he knew I was sorry, he knew I loved him and if I could take it back I would.

    We have just had a lovely weekend together, cuddling til 5 in the morning watching UFC, grabbing a takeaway mid afternoon, making love, laughing and generally enjoying each other’s company.

    Then that all changed, he received a phone call from his ex telling me that his child doesn’t feel loved , he is 7 and she has stopped him from seeing my ex as a result of COVID and her being pregnant with baby number 3.

    This has sent my ex into termoil.

    He very quickly made the decision to break of off with me. He said he needs to focus on him and his boys.

    He told me it’s over, then a couple of days later has told me he misses me, he just wants a cuddle but he knows that it can’t happen.

    He’s told me he is hurting and is heart broken.

    Then he says “it is too late”

    What do I do?

    I’m devoted to him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 2, 2021 at 8:44 pm

      Hi Bethany, I understand it is difficult to understand that he needs to spend this time focusing on his children, however when he is struggling to deal with parent guilt from being apart from his children. You mention that the mother of his son is pregnant, is that also his baby that is on its’ way? If so then is there a possibility that you were a rebound? ( A rebound being he got with you quickly after their break up)

  4. Avatar

    Karin

    December 9, 2020 at 6:06 am

    My ex broke up with me about 8 months ago, saying something was missing. He wanted to stay friends but I said I couldn’t do that. 6 months ago, we stopped communicating.

    I spent the time working on myself; I’m in great shape. I have been out on some dates. But I miss my ex.

    I texted him a few weeks ago and we went for a walk, but he told me he is seeing someone else. They just started dating, and he isn’t sure if it has long term potential.

    He still has feelings for me but he had come to the mindset that we would never see each other again, so he isn’t going to throw the new relationship away just for me. He said he needed three weeks to think and figure it out.

    Should I just move on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 14, 2020 at 9:14 pm

      Hi Karin, so your ex has been honest and told you that there is someone else he is potentially interested in. I would suggest that you find and read the articles about the being there method, and there are also videos for you to watch too.

  5. Avatar

    Lilliana

    September 13, 2020 at 2:02 pm

    My ex and I have been apart for 10 years now with no contact whatsoever. We’ve both been married since then and proceeded to have families. But lately I can’t stop thinking about him, I don’t think I ever stopped thinking about him. There’s so many mistakes that I’ve made when we were dating that I regret. He dumped me because of my neglect and he met someone else. For me I do believe he is my soulmate, I’m guessing he is happily married. I would love to establish contact again but I don’t even know if it is possible at this point. We live in opposite sides of the country and we are not friends on any social media, except for LinkedIn. I feel like I’ve never really fought for anything when I was younger because I’m afraid of rejection-it would hurt so much if I tried everything to get him back and in the end I am still rejected so I never tried to get him back for even really questioned him leaving me. I have always felt that if it was meant to be it will be. I’ve dated a number of people after we split and found my husband but I’ve never felt the synergy with anyone the way that I felt with him. At this point in my life I feel like if I don’t voice my feelings for him I’d regret it forever! I don’t want to ruin my life or his but I am so unhappy right now and all I can think about is him, I feel like we just broke up; the feeling is so raw. I should also mention that several years ago I found out one of his brothers has died and I sent him a note expressing my condolences (the message was sent couple year after his brothers death because I didn’t know) but I never gotten anything back from him. I don’t know if it is too late to do anything now and if it isn’t I don’t even know how to start conversation.

  6. Avatar

    Janie

    September 6, 2020 at 7:38 am

    My ex boyfriend ghosted me out of nowhere in feb and I never chased him or asked why. I basically matched his silence and went no contact. Fast forward to last month I couldn’t take it anymore and asked what happened. He basically said he knew I was cheating on him. I was so confused as I never ever did. I loved him with all my heart. But I know the reasons why he thought I did. I’ve explained to him and tried showing him proof I never did but he’s been very cold and distant. I’ve given him space but I don’t know what else to do bc he already said I didn’t care about him. How do I fix this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 10, 2020 at 8:47 pm

      Hey Janie, starting with a no Contact and allowing some time to pass so he is less angry and upset with the situation, I know you say you didnt cheat but it sounds as if he does not believe you so allow him some space before you reach out to him again

  7. Avatar

    Tiffany

    August 18, 2020 at 8:24 pm

    My girlfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago. She kicked me out because she was seeing another girl. We did have conversations after where she just kept saying she didnt know what she wanted and didnt know if he could get past all the lies I told her which led to her being with someone else. Basically filling the void that I couldnt fill. Now she is depressed and said she needs time. I am willing to give her time, but I am concerned that there isnt a chance for us to make things work. I dont want to lose her, and I know a lot of people say that. At the end of the day she did make me a better person, but we did have a lot of struggles through out our 2 year relationship that should have been stretched out over a decade. I thought we could make it through anything and now this has made me realize all my faults in the relationship. Is it too late to implement the no contact rule to get her back? Does she even want me back? She just keeps telling me when i ask if she wants to work in things out slow “not right now” and she doesnt want to give “false hope” Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 5, 2020 at 8:49 pm

      Hey Tiffany, I would suggest that you work on yourself and stick to a no contact for 45 days. I think the not right now and the false hope is a sign they are not interested at the moment But if you work on yourself through the Ungettable information your ex is going to start realising they’ve lost someone great in the mean time. But don’t allow yourself to be the back up plan. Date, socialise show yourself you are moving on with your life.

  8. Avatar

    sam

    May 24, 2020 at 1:47 am

    My bf and i broke up about two months ago but for the first month and a half we would still talk all the time and hook up. we decided to take a two week break and not talk. the day before the two week no contact was over i saw him out. He didn’t want to see me but i begged him to talk to me. he told me he didnt want to text me and see me right now because he had stuff going on in his life. a week later i got drunk and started texting him not stop GNAT. he ended up blocking me on facebook instagram phone and snapchat. I went to his house that night and begged him to come to the door for almost three hours and i finally had one of my guy friends pick me up. I am also worried that he thinks I had hooked up with my guy friend and i never would. I felt awful about it in the morning. i texted him on linkedin and appolgized to him and he responded and said i should applogize to his friends not him and for me not to come back to his house. I feel like he hates me and never wants to talk to me again. I decided that I shouldnt text him for 45 days because I knew he needed space and i didnt want to ruin it even more. Is it too late that I annoyed him so much for him to block me and feel like he never will unblock me and not have anything to do with me again? I want to delete all my social media because it is stressing me out knowing that I am blocked.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 29, 2020 at 3:00 pm

      Hey Sam, if you want your ex back then I would suggest that you keep your social media and spending some time working on your Holy Trinity and being Ungettable so that you can use social media as a window into your new life without your ex. This is going to be useful when you want to show your ex that you are moving on with your life. When you have completed your 45 day No Contact, reaching out to your ex with the texting phase you need to be in total emotional control and understand that it can take time if your ex blocked you on some social media platforms. You will be unblocked when your ex sees that you are no longer reaching out and are less upset about the break up

  9. Avatar

    Tan

    May 14, 2020 at 9:29 pm

    My gf broke up with gf 5 months ago. Im a girl at 25 she is 26, we were together for 4 years. We keep in touch a little (im the one indicating contact almost every time). She has been pretty ”off” in my opinon. Have not showed so much interest in me, my life or well being. Just to focus on herself. We spoke a couple of times by phone. She said she loved me still. We love/loved each other very much and didt have many problems. Even she told me that our years together has been the best time of her life. And it has been. Thats why the break up was such a chock, to me and everyone elese. She broke up with me to be with herself. Be free and only focusing on herself and what she wants to do and achive. Which I totally respect and actually belivie in (if you know her you would to). She has been away abroad for 4 mothns, she came home 2 weeks ago and we met to take care of the last things in our apartment. It was emotional, is was just like we were together again. The same feeling. She told me as well. We talked about us, what we want in the future (which is the same things but I have come to that point now that I want it as much as her. I just have not showed her enough before I think). She wanted to leave some stuff behind, see what the future holds. Told me that if she feel the same this autum she maybe want to date again. We kissed and huged eschother many times. Said that we love and care for each other and that we will see each other again. It was pretty beautiful actually, sad, but beautiful. 1,5 week has now passed and I asked her if she wanted to take a hike someday, and she hesitated. Said that she still loves me but its to soon. She really want to focusing on herself and dont want to be in a relationship over all. Just do stuff she wants, for herself. She does not want me to ”wait” for her. But nothing know what the future holds… So here I am, again. Starting from the begining. Im not mad at her. Maybe I should, but im just sad, because I deeply belivie it does not have to go this way. I know what I should do, what I have to do. For myself. I just cannot do it. If you really really belivie in something, if the relationship actually was very beautiful the whole time, how are you suppose to let that go? I’ve read every article about this on the whole internet and Im still not even close to actually let go.

    I know you cant do magic, but please. Give me just one advice on what to do? I would rather have advice on how to get the love of my life back, but i guess you will give me another answer…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 8:33 pm

      Hi Tan, so there is not magic wand where I can give you the answer to how to get her back. But I can tell you that when we focus on ourselves, become the Ungettable Girl to our ex this makes them notice us again and consider what they have lost because we are doing amazing when they are feeling less than. If you have not done so then you would need to complete a 30 day No Contact, where you do not speak, reply or social media stalk your ex at all for that period of time. Then you focus on your Holy Trinity and prepare yourself for the texting phase. The texting phase needs to be short, positive and her interests in focus for a little while so that you spend your time working up the value ladder to re-attract your ex.

  10. Avatar

    Rebecca

    May 11, 2020 at 6:12 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago because I couldn’t let go of the past. I needed some time to figure things out. We have been in contact since the breakup because it was always so much fun. He wanted to fix things so badly but I just wasn’t ready to give it another try, he said that he was going to wait untill I was ready. Now I am ready but he met someone else. Is it too late?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 12, 2020 at 8:48 am

      Hi Rebecca, I don’t know if it is too late you would need to do the being there method. However ask yourself if you are only ready now because you fear he is moving on from you? Not that you actually want to be with him.

  11. Avatar

    Jen

    April 26, 2020 at 9:49 pm

    My ex broke up with me 3 months ago because he thinks I am too friendly. I love him and would never cheat on him. We have been in contact since the break up and have had sex on several occasions. I miss him and want him back but he says that we are too different and now doesn’t even want to be friends.

  12. Avatar

    Jess Alvarez

    March 25, 2020 at 1:31 pm

    Hello Chris,

    It feels like it’s too late to get my ex back although we still live together. His reason for breaking up is wanting freedom. We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms and he’s been wanting to be friends. Asking me to hang out casually. I’ve tried no contact before but he reached out during it and I had to break it due to external complications so it failed big time. We’ve both crossed relationship boundaries, so he’s adamant on not trying to make a future with me. Our lease ends in a month and half and he’s ready to move on without me after that. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to lose him as a partner and I don’t want his friendship.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 4:33 pm

      Hi Jess, so when you live together you have to do something called limited no contact. This is where you stay civil but you do not spend time with him as a friend etc. Try spend more time with your friends than with him so that you are keeping busy and showing him that you are moving on with your life. For him to not see a future with you after you have reached a point of living together in your relationship, I am wondering what has changed. Do you want different things for the future? Read the articles about Holy Trinity and becoming Ungettable and see what you can apply to your life, I understand that times to do some of the activities are going to be difficult during the pandemic

  13. Avatar

    Chaz

    March 9, 2020 at 10:00 pm

    Hi

    So my ex broke up with me 12 months ago. It is virtually impossible to do no contact as he mails me every few weeks. We only talk as friends. What can I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 10, 2020 at 10:18 pm

      Hi Chaz, it is not impossible to do No Contact, as all you have to do is not reply to his email… ignore it. Make sure that you do not speak for 30 days in total and then reach out with a text or email that Chris suggests

  14. Avatar

    Peyton

    February 9, 2020 at 4:51 pm

    My ex and I were together for 2 and a half years. We’ve been broken up for a year now and when we first broke up he got into a rebound relationship but it only lasted 2 weeks and he hasn’t been with anyone since. We stayed in contact and continued to hook up after he broke up with the rebound but we still fought a lot because I had a lot of insecurity and frustration because he kept telling me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I cut things off finally and I stopped contacting him for a month. After the 30 days I texted him and apologized for our last fight that we had before I went no contact and I told him that I hope things are going well for him but that I’m not ready to be in contact with him yet because I still needed to work on myself for a while. He accepted my apology and said he was happy to hear that I was working on myself finally and that he hoped things went well for me too but he understood that I still needed space to work on myself and that he felt the same way (he needs space too and wants to keep working on himself too). I’ve been trying to get him back for a year should I give things more time and reach out to him when I feel like I have become the ungettable girl and I’ve had time to heal and work on myself or should I just give up on trying to get back with him because he’s moved on by now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 12, 2020 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Peyton, so if you have been trying to get your ex back for a year, have you followed this program or have you just been reaching out and hoping for the best? I believe that if you do a no contact then reach out with the type of text Chris suggests where it is supposed to get your ex interested in having a conversation with you

  15. Avatar

    Emi

    December 28, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    My ex and I were together for 3.5 years. We’ve broken up because I lied about meeting a friend who likes me. I tried my best to save our relationship but he wasn’t on the same page because he didn’t communicate well. I failed the NCR (no contact rule) and he said that pushed him further away. I didn’t understand NCR that time. He said he grew tired and will his feelings will never change. He is stubborn that he will never love me again no matter how much I change. How can I convince him to try again this time after giving both of us individual space? And how can I not be scared to try NCR?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 29, 2019 at 11:29 pm

      To help you understand that No Contact is needed almost every successful client who has got their ex back has had to do a No Contact at the start of the process. You need time apart from your ex, you need time to work on yourself and you need time to let your ex miss you, think about you, and consider if they made a mistake losing you

  16. Avatar

    teana

    October 28, 2019 at 1:04 am

    Hi Chris,
    I am a single mom with 13yo son. with my ex- I had 2 months dating+7 mths relationship (4.5mths lived together) he was depressed with my son&me quarrels every week. he helped me to control my son&he ended up quarreled with my son. me&bf didn’t have major issues, but he said it’s relationship between my son&me. he can’t see the 3of us together,he can’t accept bcause of his bad trauma in childhood with his parents and he doesn’t want to experience the same thing again. so he decided to leave me. I begged him 4x, it’s almost 2 weeks. he keep saying No. he said he still care about me, but he has feeling maybe just as a friend. he told me he cried,because he feel sad to hurt me.he said,me&son already passed his comfort zone. Last thing i said, I didnt do anything good for him, so I will do what he wants: to end the relationship. he never reply. then i message him again, i said “i regretted with what i’ve said” he never reply.
    is there any chance for me to get him back ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 30, 2019 at 6:49 pm

      Hi Teana, maybe for the time being focusing on working through the issues you and your son are having first before allowing another person into his life is best. As you were not together very long it will be hard to say yes he will come back but following the program does give you your best chance of getting him talking to you again starting with a NC of 30 days minimum

  17. Avatar

    Ashley

    October 21, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    Hi there, I’m interested in purchasing your resources but I want to know if it would work, given my circumstance before I invest. I’m not sure which comments you decide to reply to but here goes…
    I dated my boyfriend for right at a year and we were starting to get closer. Suddenly, he started pulling away. Next thing I know he was breaking up with me, telling me that he didn’t want kids or to get married. I was devastated and didn’t understand why, especially since we never really had those conversations before. At the time he told me that it was because he wanted to focus on his career but he said that he loved me tremendously. I couldn’t implement NCR. It was to hard. But whenever I’d text or call he’d always respond. The last time we met in person, he revealed that the real reason for the break up is because he didn’t agree with my family (who have been nothing, but nice to him but he’s morally conflicted due to differences in beliefs). He felt that we were getting closer to marriage and he knew this would be a conflict and he didn’t want to put be in a position to have to choose. This was like a knife to my heart. He also admitted he felt like he was making a mistake and he’d probably never find anyone he’d love as much as me. He admitted that he was having doubts. This gave me hope that he could change his mind. So I began calling & texting more, thinking that we could work on this. I never gave him the space he needed. We had one last meeting, after he pretty much said his mind was fixed and he wouldn’t budge on his feelings for my family. Again, still stating that I’m perfect for him, telling me I deserve the world and professing his love for me but washing his hands with it and not wanting to prolong the “inevitable.” I didn’t want him to leave. He stayed. We laughed. We cried but eventually he said I had to let him go. I love him and I feel that he’s the one. And I know that he loves me and I don’t think there’s anyone else. Do you think that your resources could help restore us or should I just move on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 21, 2019 at 8:24 pm

      Hi Ashley, so 100% The EBR PRO at least would help you as would the one to one coaching here. He is conflicted by his decision. So you need to ask yourself do you love him more than you love the idea of getting married? It is hard but there are sooooo many couples who are together a lifetime and dont get married but still have children. OR if he doesnt want children either then you need to consider do you really want them? IF you do then you need to stay true to yourself you want marriage and children. And then you HAVE TO do a no contact, become the ungettable girl and read as much as you can through the website to help you work on yourself and how to reach out to him when the time comes

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    WLD

    October 19, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    Hi Chris – I followed your “NC plan” to a T. After 1.5 months of no contact he reached out and wanted to meet up. The date was fun, and I was an improved-best-version if myself. No drama or brining up the past. At the end of the date on my way out he hugged me, started crying, apologized for everything and said I should take my things and that he’d always cherish the last 2.5 years together. I gracefully thanked him for the apology and then said goodbye. I’m so confused, he clearly cares and still enjoys my company. The date was his idea. Do I start no contact again, reach out, or just move on? It’s been a week and I haven’t heard from him. Thanks.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 20, 2019 at 7:54 am

      Hey WLD, so where the date went great but he flipped back so soon. Fear may have gotten the better of him so he backed off. Id give it to day 21 and reach out with one of Chris’ texts to get him talking. This time don’t skip the value chain (texting -> phone calls -> meet ups )

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    Bonnie santillo

    September 15, 2019 at 7:21 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up in april after being together for 4 yrs..we had trouble in the 1st year of our relationship . I guess you could say I cheated emotionally for 2 months .we were going to split and stayed together happily for 3 years after..we started to form a life together and talked about the future and retirement and vacations and a home..in over the winter of this year he was different not just to me but every one..everything seemed to be fine.till march and at the end of april he said it was over..I dont understand
    ..he said that he trusted me ..I did everything I could for the past three years and told him how much I loved him and showed him ..our relationship seemed better and what was missing was fixed…..I have worked on myself and had no contact at least for the past 2 months .. it’s going on 5 months..I’ve tried to reach out..I would love to talk with him and so he can see I am the same person he met….advise

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 17, 2019 at 8:41 am

      Hi Bonnie, Read some of the articles about how to text your ex to get him wanting to talk to you

  20. Avatar

    Nicole

    September 6, 2019 at 1:15 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me on August 30th because when he came back early from tne Navy, he thought I didn’t love him anymore. I was shocked and I didn’t say anything until after, I asked for a chance and he agreed. He wanted me to show him that I care, That I can put him first but later he changed him mind. He said to move on even though we both still love each other, he got a gf 2 days after which was his ex. We’ve been together for almost 2 years. I know love can’t fade so fast. I don’t know if I should keep trying and I don’t want to force anything.
    We had a deep connection and loved each other. No matter what, we were together but when he got back from the Navy he wouldn’t talk to me as much anymore and I guess he couldn’t handle that I was getting stressed too. He had to get a job, a car, a home,etc. And i wasnt 100% there to comfort him. But also.. he got tired of lies. I cheated on him many months ago, by kissing this guy but I stopped and i knew it was wrong because around that time he had sex with another girl but i forgave him. Do i have hope? I know with all my heart, that we bring out the best in each other but because of all the stress and anger recently, he thinks he was never happy in the relationship. That he never stopped feeling a hole but i know that I helped him love himself more and be more happy. How can I show him I care? He has his ex back which she didn’t help him grow and he left her for me. He’s very stubborn and said he moved on but what we had, that should be impossible. We broke up twice before but they lasted a week and the other was 3 months. Since then, we were committed until he cheated and then i cheated… please help. He forgave me when i did cheat because i told him when it happened but i didnt tell him the full detail. And when he did cheat on me, he couldn’t remember the full detail.

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