Learn Exactly What Your Ex Is Feeling During The No Contact Rule

267 thoughts on “What Your Ex Is Feeling During No Contact”

Dawn

June 8, 2020 at 1:48 am

I broke up with my bf on 15th May after 7 1/2 months of dating which were initially fast initiated by him ie feelings really fast, had discussed a lot of our future together eg moving in together etc (we are both late 40’s) but had slowed to a normal pace.
He initially said, out of the blue, at the end of March that he thought he wanted to split saying that his feelings had changed then said they hadn’t but didn’t know if he wanted a relationship at all. Spoke for hours about some things he had never said were a prob before & sorted them. From then onwards we were going to talk everyday, video call etc and change the dating routine once lockdown ended (still hasn’t yet.) It was mostly going fine.
On 12th May mid a normal conversation, he said that he didn’t want a relationship, didn’t love me or love me enough to try anything diff in the reln post lockdown, his feelings weren’t going to change & it was done. Later that eve I sent a message suggesting a break of a set time period with no contact to give space & see how we felt as opposed to a break up – he said no. I also mentioned the stresses adding to things esp at his end due to the lockdown.
Fri 15th May I went to his to drop off a birthday gift for his mum, chatted for a few mins, asked if he’d thought about the break scenario to which he said no, it’s done, we’re finished. I started NC that eve (am currently on day 23). There has been no contact either way since that eve. That eve I got blocked on whatsapp but unblocked the following morning.
The next day (Sat 16th) he changed his facebook status to single & his profile pic both there & instagram from one of us to his grandaughter. Sun 24th May he blocked me on whatsapp. Fri 29th May he unfriended me & my 2 daughter’s on facebook. Thu 4th June I got blocked on instagram.
Did I miss an opportunity to talk to him re reconciliation during the week I was unblocked on whatsapp? Do you think my ex will contact me? Unblock me at all?
Do you think we can reconcile at all?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 17, 2020 at 12:01 am

Hey Dawn it is likely that you will be unblocked again when your ex is less emotional. In the mean time you need to work on your Holy Trinity, if it comes to the end of you NC and you are still blocked, you need to attempt to contact from a different platform

Sha

June 6, 2020 at 10:39 pm

Hi there
I was dating a guy for 5 months, very serious, we were planning a future, to move in and start a life together. He already has a son from a previous marriage and was always scared to start a new family it to fail as well.
He broke up with me a week ago telling me he thinks I shut down when he says the wrong thing and he doesnt know if we want the same thing. The weird part is the entire week before right up until the DAY, he was sending me reassuring msgs telling me he loves me and wants us to to be together. Then bam. Called me and ended it. Any advice?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 7, 2020 at 8:15 pm

Hey Sha, you need to start the program with No Contact and work on yourself not reaching out or replying to him whatsoever over the 30 days. It sounds more like he got cold feet with your plans. As easy as it is to get carried away you were only together for five months that’s not a lot of time to be taking such big steps in a relationship. I would suggest that you take things slower if you get back together a second time

Mark

June 4, 2020 at 4:06 pm

So my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because she’s gay. About 6 days after I started no contact, she contacted me, we just had a conversation about her new car I engaged in the conversation but I didn’t talk about the breakup. She hasn’t contacted me since. But she likes some of my social media posts and my newsfeeds.
Should I continue no contact and let her come to me again? Or is my situation different to where no contact won’t work?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 7, 2020 at 12:42 pm

Hi Mark, if you are going to try and get her back then yes keep with your No Contact. When she told you she was gay, does that mean she doesn’t want a relationship with males again> or is she thinking she is bisexual? If she is telling you that she is not interested in men anymore then you need to accept that and be thankful that she has been honest with you.

Kin

May 28, 2020 at 6:20 am

I’m in stage one of my no contact where he feels good about his decisions, but I have started seeing results because he has started denying himself that he is just friends with the new partner
Dekky

May 24, 2020 at 8:13 am

My ex broke up with me for no good reason. Suddenly out of the blue, she told me it’s over. Now is the fourth week of no contact, and I got a date with another girl. So I am confused about what should I do. I still have some feelings for my ex, but I cannot wait for her forever.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 29, 2020 at 2:38 pm

Hi Dekky, you should still continue to date and keep an open mind. But also be sure that if you want your ex back that you start the texting phase

Rj

May 11, 2020 at 5:23 pm

Hi, I am now in the final week of no contact, during this time I have been ‘working on myself’, however I have heard nothing and it’s starting to make me question everything, I am having serious doubts that he will get in contact when it’s over, the breakup was out of the blue one morning, there was tension a couple of days before but I thought that got sorted and things were good again.

He played the standard there’s no spark, I need to be alone and work on myself etc, I may initially have had a few days on pleading but decided to play it cool, I finally resorted to this but have just become down and scared that it’s going to be pointless, I will continue to the end but what should I do.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 19, 2020 at 2:03 pm

Hi RJ, don’t forget that in this process it is not important if your ex reaches out to you or not during your NC this doesn’t mean it hasn’t worked. It means that he has needed this space and time apart. The important part is that you prepare yourself for your first reach out at the end of your NC and prepare yourself for a short positive conversation that you need to end before your ex does.

SURAJ DHALE

May 3, 2020 at 6:06 am

Me and girlfriend were bestfriends before relationship then we got tied our relation bond. We were together for 2 yrs and 9 months and our relation was for 1yr and 8 months. We are both different personalities so got in to fights twice In a month. My Possessive behaviour made her feel that I don’t trust her. We both were serious to each other and made marriage promises. But suddenly she thought of breaking up with me.
Sarah

April 29, 2020 at 7:14 pm

Hi, me and my boyfriend of almost 8 years have broken up for many reasons: he was nonchalant and I wanted more emotion from him, he wanted to chase his career, he wanted to be single and not have anything hold him back. We argued often.

Initially I thought let me break up to teach him a lesson. So I spent 1 month focussing on myself, bombarded him with messages out of weakness.

But he told me he doesn’t want me anymore even though he loves me. He said he wants to be single and that he is at peace without me. When I asked if there’s a future with us he said he’s not sure.

It is now 6 weeks post break up, the most I haven’t spoke my him is 6 days max.

Shall I attempt the NCR or shall I just force myself to give up?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 6, 2020 at 7:02 pm

Hi Sarah if you want to try and get this guy back then yes 100% do a no contact for a 45 day period, but during that time you need to work on your Holy Trinity and work to become the Ungettable girl. If you do this then your ex is going to notice the positive changes you are making to your life. The fact he wants to be single and focus on his career is fair if he is in a field that requires all of his time, so your goal is to show your worth and what he has lost by not being with you anymore.

Evon

April 26, 2020 at 12:45 pm

Hello am in already on the no contact rule and I will say it’s getting on my ex,he hasn’t contacted me yet but has contacted my friends and asking about me the other he wrote on his social media that he misses me even though I deleted his contact my friend saw it so am thankful cus I know it’s working
mary

April 18, 2020 at 6:06 am

5 months ago i caught my ex texting someone else and we had a fight. i left him and come back many times for a month because i want him feel sorry for what he did, we are 2 years in relationship and living together. He decided to jump into relationship with her and broke up with me because i keep leaving and coming back. I want our relationship to be fix so i acted like nothing happen and accept him and his decision. After a month, he decided to left the house to move together with this woman. He kept coming back after 2 weeks telling he loves me and will marry me once he find reason to leave the woman. We’re still in touch and I am supporting him all trough out. Last month, He went to his home country for competition.. in my surprise his girlfriend went also after a week. I get mad, and blocked him in social media.. After 10 days, he message me, telling I am still in his heart and he don’t feel the same to her gf. He cannot come back yet because of Corona, both of them lockdown. I told him Im moving on and I am on my 18 days now of No Contact… I still hoping and want him back..
Paula

April 18, 2020 at 12:43 am

Hello my Man broke up with me 2 weeks and 1 day ago and I don’t know why…we was together 3 months but he called me on my friend’s messenger like 9 days ago and he was asking me that I’m good and he told I know u love me and I said yes I do… now there is no contact from him i deleted his phone number also…I’ll practice no contact rule for next 30 days or more and I hope it’ll really work… thank u for ur advices and I hope he’ll think wat he can loose and will be back to me.. best regards… Paula from Poland
Angela

April 16, 2020 at 2:32 pm

Hi my ex boyfriend and I broke up 7 weeks ago after 6 years together, it was a bad breakup, I’m currently in second week of no contact. But he called my son (19 years old) my son seen the missed call and called him back but he wouldn’t answer. Don’t know if that was to get a reaction out if me (which I didn’t).
Destiny

April 15, 2020 at 2:20 am

Hi, I had a question. Is it normal to not want a relationship with anyone else even if a couple of years had passed since breaking up with your ex? … I was with this guy for almost 2 years, when we broke up I eventually just stopped contacting him because he pushed me away a lot but when we broke up and even now almost 5 years later. I don’t want a relationship with anyone else, Marriage is not on my plans. My mindset is really my money and career.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 20, 2020 at 4:14 pm

Hey there, so I would say it is normal if you have tried to date and not met someone who has made you feel that way. You can not force yourself to date if you are not into it at this point in your life, maybe you wont be. You may find that while you are focusing on money and your career that you will be happy and content with your life. Everyone is different

Angela

April 14, 2020 at 6:43 am

I know my boyfriend for a year now he works away a lot when he is here everything is perfect treats me well talks snout our future etc but when he goes back he is always on dating site when I asked him about it he blocked me from most ways of contact. He has not been on site for over a week now and I think he is with someone else. I have begged and pleaded with him not to break up he has done this before and when came back just acted as if he did nothing wrong. He knows I adore him so he can do what he wants will the NC rule still work been separated one month now and don’t know when he will be back here it’s killing me

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 8:43 am

Hi Angela, I want to ask why would you allow someone to cheat on you, you should adore yourself. Love yourself to know you deserve so much better than someone who is going to cheat on you just because he is working away! Work on your Holy Trinity and read about being Ungettable and see how you feel after a 45 NC. His behaviour is not acceptable it does not matter how great you think he is

Sara

April 13, 2020 at 2:36 am

Hi Chris,

I am a bit lost, this is my 9th day of the no contact rule. My ex and I broke up 3 months ago, and never stopped talking but saw each other a couple times in the last month, but I started the no contact rule as he wasn’t putting enough effort into our conversations and I was looking desparate. So far I have received a message saying “loser, why’d you block me”, followed by “are you okay?” the next day, and five days later I received a message from him saying “happy easter! hope you had a good day”
Am I on the right path?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 11:25 pm

Hi Sara, giving that you keep ignoring him and working on yourself for the next 30 days then yes you are on the right track

liv

April 11, 2020 at 2:05 am

my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me 4 days ago after being distant over text for 2 days. i had to beg him to call me and when he finally did he looked so forced but he told me that he didn’t love me at all anymore. and that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. he said he doesn’t want me anymore. i begged him and begged him to not leave me and he just hung up. I haven’t contacted him in 4 days, this hurts because he deleted all our pictures together on instagram and i can tell he’s following new girls and talking to them. Im following the no contact rule but do you think it will even work? I have so much love for him and I did so much for him in the relationship.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 10:58 pm

Hi Liv part of No Contact is that you do not watch his social media activity. So try to stop watching what he is doing online as hard as that can be at times. Read about the Holy Trinity and the Ungettable information and apply this to your own social media.

Flower

April 11, 2020 at 12:29 am

So if I do NC for 30 days it would end May 8th. His birthday is on May 5th.. Should I tell him happy birthday? We were together for 2 years. March 15-April 6th he kept telling me he doesn’t know what he wants & kept asking to be left alone. Heart broken I didn’t respect his wishes & kept bugging.. Finally he gave me an answer & I started NC on the 8th of this month.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 12, 2020 at 7:43 pm

Hi Flower, no do not mention the birthday I would also extend the NC a little – go to the 15th just so it isn’t right after his birthday.

Kea

April 6, 2020 at 11:24 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend of 11 yrs just broke things off with me. He says its because we’ve been arguing a lot lately. At first i begged that he reconsider, and he refused saying he’s happier without all the drama. I decided to do the no contact without telling him. I’m off social media (where he was sometimes checking my post), but i have not blocked his number, neither has he blocked mine. I’m on day 5 of NC. Just wondering how he feels.
Komalpreet Kaur

April 5, 2020 at 3:11 am

Hi, i need advice…my boyfriend got married under pressure of his parents and he didn’t tell me that his marriage was fixed when i met him few days ago before his marriage…we were in relationship from 5 years…m now in no contact for 21 days and i never used no contact for him before…I don’t know he ll be back or not….