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anne
August 13, 2014 at 3:44 am
Hi chris,
My ex blocked me in whatsapp and other txt msging apps for a week now. His been lying to me the whole entire time of our relationship I can consider him a slimeball liar. He lied to make himself look good. Ok i will tell u lil bit about myself I have a degree, have my own lil business and stable.. his in the Navy so we kinda have long distance relationship but most of the time I was the one who always adjusting time to see him. I found out recently that his been friends with random woman on Facebook and when i asked him about it he said it’s not a big deal but then he refused to add me for some dumb reason but since i love him so i kinda brushed it off but I have instinct that his been cheating on me with bar girls or strippers every time he was going somewhere on his deployment/training but I have no evidence to prove but my instinct was bugging me that he was doing something behind my back. Every time I say something about my instinct he always telling me I’m dillusional, crazy and Paranoid. I told one of my friend about this (we have no common friends)… and she helped me to find the truth so we waited a month to adding people in his contact that way it won’t look suspicious..so after a month we add my ex bf and bcuz my friend was so cute and they have mutual friends now so he didn’t refused to accept it.then my friend found bunch of pics of him w a girl getting cozy and sitting on his lap and etc …my friend checked the date of when and where the girl posted the pics and found some evidence..
I message him on when and where his been on that date and he said on training (he was in Thailand that time ) the training suppose to be in Guam like he said… so i was mad and sent him all the info i got from that girl Facebook and right away he blocked me on whatsapp and all text apps and never say a word and he contacted the girl to delete those pics on facebook so it was gone now but I saved it for evidence… he hide all his stuff like pics and friend list..he made it too private that only his friendlist can see but he didn’t blocked me on his Facebook but he blocked my friend.
Right now his always offline on whatsapp (cuz i changed the number that he blocked ; so i get a new number and I can see his offline all the time ) he never go offline his always chatting… I don’t know what his thinking now… before this incident happen we were planning on trip together to Macau this month. . I feel like I’m his number 1 b_tch bcuz I’m classy and educated while those girls he can replaced right away.
is he devastated and ashamed of himself so much now that he deleted all of his apps and only keep whatsapp but he rarely go online now. for some reason i am worried because i do not want this to affect his training or school. I am not depress it was actually a relief for me to find out the truth just worried about him that’s it.
admin
August 13, 2014 at 2:22 pm
I don’t think your crazy or paranoid at all.
It’s weird that he won’t add you on Facebook and you are dating…. no, that’s UNHEARD of.
anne
August 14, 2014 at 1:15 pm
The main reason he won’t add me on Facebook because I know he has bunch of random girls and he said his friendly and I’m not. But when I caught his pictures from other girls facebook he hide his profile right away and blocked me on what’s app and other text apps. And when i changed my number he still in my contacts and he him online once in a while that’s it. He always chatting and why after he got caught he avoided people already. Just weird ! Is he hurt and ashamed or he just don’t care?
Athulya Babu
August 13, 2014 at 3:14 am
Hi,
I’m confused I broke up with my bf recently and after the breakup we had a bad fight and now he has blocked me on watsapp but put me on restriction in FB. I couldn’t take it. I deactivated my fb account..I haven’t spoken to him aince. And he said he doesn’t give a damn what I do because he feels I moved. On too fast. All I did was flirt around a little and met a guy too for coffee. But after the fight he keeps enquiring with my friend how I’m doing. Why so? Its not like I want him back as my boy friend. But at least talking terms. What do you suggest? I Dont want to run behind him because it just pushes him away. Should I just keep quiet for a few weeks and see what’s going to happen? Its actually killing me ……..
admin
August 13, 2014 at 2:21 pm
He probably regrets how he handled things after the breakup..
Athulya Babu
August 13, 2014 at 4:09 pm
So what should I do? Ignore him….I so badly want to talk to him…
admin
August 14, 2014 at 11:52 am
Right now… yes.
Cessily
August 8, 2014 at 5:54 pm
Hey Chris , so me and my ex dated for about a year and a half. He broke up with me because he says I’m needy and clingy. I was a texting gnat , always wanted be around him the whole nine. We would have fights and he would ignore me but would come around again.So we broke up 3months ago but we still talked everyday and acted like a couple. After time progressed we got back together , I still was the same person still texting him a millions times when he didn’t respond in 5 mins so he broke up with me again less then a week ago but this time he said he was ready to move on and that he couldn’t have something
New in his life happen if he was holding on to the past. So I said ok, 2 days later he called me and I didn’t answer. When I called him back he said ” oh nevermind I didn’t mean to call you” I said ok again and hung up. After that I did the dumbest thing and texted him and told him I missed him , he said yea it’s crazy he misses me to be it will get better and to trust him. After that I replied and he stop responding so I blew him up saying anything to make him answer. He soon blocked me from ever way to communicate with him. I have been blocked for 3 days now , I know that’s not long but it unusual for him.
So what should I do ? It there still a chance for him to miss me or want me back ? Will he maybe unblock me ? He hasn’t tweeted anything since the day we broke up … Does that mean anything ? Should I just do the no contact , and maybe give him time to miss me.
admin
August 11, 2014 at 11:32 am
I think you should do the NC and just give it a bit of time ok 🙂
April
August 5, 2014 at 9:52 pm
My ex and I have been broken up for about a month, he’s blocked and unblocked me many times in this time frame and I have obviously made the mistake most girls have – being clingy, begging etc.
This time was different. I was unblocked on facebook (we weren’t friends though) and I had been doing NC for a couple of days, but I woke up that morning to two texts from him saying
“I think I’ve really f*cked up my life”
and another an hour later saying
“Ignore that.”
I woke up an hour after I received the last message
I was basically half asleep and the NC rule wasn’t even in my head so I instantly replied saying that he can talk to me if he needs to and is he okay. Majority of the day went through and he hadn’t replied and I was honestly worried sick and pissed that I broke NC so I was in a ‘f*ck it’ mood and messaged him on facebook saying “I understand if you regret sending that text, it was a moment of weakness but can I just atleast know if your okay?”. He replied instantly saying yeah hes fine and then he started talking about how he took a lot of drugs, and it’s mucking him up.
When we were dating he smoked weed (which is illegal here) and took illegal drugs quite a lot. I was a little worried but I trusted him as it didn’t seem like an addiction to me and he didn’t act different at all. But we did argue about it sometimes when we were together since I’m against drugs and weed but I still let him smoke/take them.
He was basically saying he was mentally unstable, he hasnt been home in 3 days, and kept saying he has issues (When we were together he wasn’t like this at all, he was carefree and always making a joke of things). So I tried to give him advice on getting help but he gave the whole “nobody can help me” speech. And I guess my advice was pissing him off so he told me to leave him alone, and that point I was already sucked back in and couldn’t leave him alone. I was worried. And I kept talking to him when he kept saying he wanted to be left alone. I didn’t mean to, I just got so worried and I wanted him to be okay.. And I ended up making myself upset and cried a lot and stupidly mentioned that I miss him. This made him really mad and we ended up arguing. I felt like he hated me or something so I was being needy and I have had a past with self harming and suicidal thoughts and that all came to me. I’m not sure why they came to me, but it did. I’m not the type to be suicidal over a boy leaving me. He knew about this past and I guess it was kinda obvious I had hit rock bottom when talking to him. And I just asked him if we could say something nice to eachother then never talk again and I was sorry for pressuring him to talk about the drugs etc. He ended up saying mean stuff then blocking me everywhere, including my number. I tried calling him loads with no caller ID but he would either ignore it or answer then hang up straight away.
This isn’t really a “How do I get him back”. It’s more of a… Should I even try. I love him a lot and of course we had good times, so many of them. But we also had a lot of bad times and we both have a lot of issues. But I’m at that stage where I feel like I wont find anyone like him. And that I just want him..
I guess, I know this isn’t really your area but I guess I’m just looking for reassurance that I can move on? and I’ll find someone better suited to me?
Sorry if this is a waste of your time
admin
August 6, 2014 at 2:40 pm
The drugs is troubling… Are you sure you want him back?
Jo
August 6, 2014 at 9:12 pm
I am so sorry April and I feel for you. I am in a very similar situation. My ex is confusing me. He blocked me on FB in late June. He had depressed and binging on cocaine and heroin. He ignored my occasional texts to check up on him (I should have left him alone but during girl time I was highly emotional). I did totally leave him alone for awhile and he ended up calling me after a month and a half. He was obviously drunk at very least. He was calling me hon in one breath and swearing at me in the next. He said the last time he was happy was the last time he saw me. We talked for about an hour and he told me several times “text me”, but he has continued to ignore me. He told me he blocked me bc I was needy on my periods and overwhelmed him. But he also overwhelmed me with his suicidal depression and drug use. I want to talk to him again and I don’t want to lose him to another girl…i know he has A LOT of issues and I was only clingy when I was on my period…I really want to fix this…he used to tell me he wanted me to have his baby and marry him someday…I am crushed :/
nat
August 5, 2014 at 6:32 pm
Hi Chris
Me and my 1.5 year bf just broke up last week. It came out of the blue. We were in a long distance for about 9 months. We always texted each other and tried to make skype call everyday.
2 days before the break up he felt lost and sad about he doesn’t know what he wants in his life. He said he’s confused. I’m there to support him on skype and he said he wants to discussed it with his mum.
The conversation was normal apart from hes still confused about his life and he still reassure me that we will work on the relationship together.
He talked to his mum on skype while I was waiting to support him after the talk. But that has never happened he started to blocked me on everything. I tried to call him but I can’t get a hold of him. He blocked me everyway! even on snapchat or google plus that we rarely use. blocked all my friends that he was friend with. and also asked his friends to block me.
Then his mum called me to tell me that he wanted to brake up with me and he’s just very emotional right now and he wished not to speak to me.
I decided to fly back to get to talk to him as I think I deserve an explanation and I know him that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. We were like best friends and partners.
I waited for him at his work and we’ve got a sit down and a talk. He seems really painful. It physically hurt him when I asked him what happened. He shaken and cried, which is unexpected he’s never cried. While we saw each other hes the one who can’t connect to his emotions and now it’s just so overwhelming for him.
He told me in the past year he has been trying to make me happy make sure that I’m happy because it hurts him to see me upset and crying when we had an arguments. When went out with his friends he always worry if I’m going to be upset and be home late to skype with me.
I know that it my fault to make him think like that. But for over a year I’ve changed I trusted him more and I actually want him to go out with his friends. But he said he’s too worry anyways he knows that I was fine but he can’t get the picture of me crying and upsetting, they haunted him evrytime he knows that something could make me unhappy.
He told me that he wasn’t confident enough to be himself and tell me about the problem because whatever problems we had we always discuss them together. And this is his problem that he feel not so confident to be true to himself.
he’s not ready to hangout with me and when I asked him the question he started to shake and cry that I needed to hold him and tell him everything is ok which normally he’s the one who does that.
we met a couple times after that talk we had a great time just like when we were together. I gave him the letter tell him how I feel. saying that I actually love him too much so i’ve to let him go that I want him to find himself and actually finding things that actually make him happy.So I’ll just leave that for a while for him to be himself and find his confident again and be that person that he wants to be.
He couldn’t say thank you out loud because his emotions were choking up and he almost cried. We held hand after that for the whole night, we teased each other like normal. at the end of the nigh we hugged and kissed and I cried and he told me thanks for everything. and he glad that i came back and we got to spend time together and it made him so happy.and gave him the great memories that he will never forget
He said he will unblock me in a few months. But he will email me to update his life.
Now I flew back and it feels like it’s over and it kinda hurts me. he said that he will write me a letter that tell me about his feelings and everything for me and will post it to me
What should I do now??
admin
August 6, 2014 at 2:39 pm
How long of long distance?
nat
August 6, 2014 at 2:55 pm
it started last september, then we even started to get closer to each other then i flew back to see my family and him last april for a month so i guess it’s around 10 months.
Sarah
August 5, 2014 at 1:47 am
My ex had blocked me in the past but told me he wouldn’t do so again. Lately, however, he will deliberately ignore my texts for several hours and then finally reply, usually after I get mad because I know he is ignoring me deliberately and then sends a nice reply after instead of just telling me to go away. Why does he do this?
admin
August 6, 2014 at 2:27 pm
B/c he likes to feel wanted by you.
Julia
July 28, 2014 at 6:22 pm
Hey Chris,
I had my first date with my ex and he said that I made a bad impression, but he was the one who were talking about his characters from a game and how good is he at this game. Then I got mad and I started arguing with him. I have to say that we talked for about 1 year on facebook or text messages and he really wanted to meet me in real life. As a girl, I’m very shy and I had many emotions for this first date and I didn’t know what to do. His friend also said ” throw her in the water “, cause we went in a park and there was a lake. After our first date we talked but he was so cold and he didn’t want to talk with me like before. The strange thing is that we argued before and he always came back to me. And this time too when I stopped talking to him. But now it’s something more serious, he posted a pic with a girl and I knew that he liked her since 7-8th grade and he went many times to her school and gave her roses but she didn’t really care too much about him. He lied to me saying that girl is obsessed with him but I realized that he’s the one obsessed with her. Everytime I asked him if he likes this girl and he kept saying that he doesn’t. Ok, this pic drove me crazy and I started messaging and calling him a lot. I just couldn’t stop. I made an obsession for him. One day I was with a friend and I called him 7-8 times and he put his friend to talk with me. After that I realized that I made a big mistake and I called to say sorry. When I went back to my home and opened my facebook I saw that he blocked me. I put my friends to talk with him and nothing. I talked with his cousin and she told me that she would talk with him. She showed me the conversations and all that he said was ” BLOCK HER “, well, his cousin was a nice person and didn’t do that. And then, I stopped everything. And I’m still waiting. I don’t know what to do. The incident happened in May and he blocked me on 2x June. And I do really care about him. He didn’t have any girlfriends in real life, just on games, and his cousin told me that he doesn’t know how to treat a girl. My friends keep saying that he’s ugly and he’s not worth me but I don’t really care. I apologized a lot for the bad impression but I think it’s not all my fault, as his cousin said, he doesn’t know how to treat a girl, to be honest, going out with someone and talking about video games. I like playing video games but he’s obsessed, he stays all day and all night on his laptop playing League Of Legends. I started playing it a week ago and I don’t know how to get in touch with him. This game seems to be the only way I could talk to him. But I feel embrassed, he already blocked me on facebook and on the phone…and when our relationship worked all the time he was saying ” brb i play lol “. But sometimes he was nice and he stopped playing lol and talking with me. We spent many nights talking about many things…. and I don’t know what to do know. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you. ( we’re both 16 )
admin
July 29, 2014 at 2:52 pm
16 year old boys aren’t very mature. I think you are seeing that here.
Julia
July 30, 2014 at 12:25 am
I know, so, should I wait for him to come back?
San
July 25, 2014 at 9:01 pm
Hi Chris me and my bf broke up in July 4 this month and everything start Cus his dad present me as his son friend and I got upset but I got more upset with her sister reaction and his mother I never expet from then react like this what his mother say it was nothing and her sister if u guys hold hands everyone’s would know u are a couple at the end I try this not to bother me but I start crying and I didn’t want to go to the amusement park with then and I say I will go home and he went with my also cry his mom try convince me stay and he was saying please don’t go but stay but I say to him didn’t feel well at the end I went he and he follow me he was upset but no with me with his family Cus how his dad behave but at the end he have. Talk with his mother and he change I have that feeling the next day he told he need time he was confuse his words was he need to think but he didn’t want to broke up he was is to stay together and stay at the same house Cus we live together at the end I didn’t accept that Cus I feel was something horrible he was asking me at the end I told him a lot of time let’s forgot about what happen and continue together but he always say no need time so at the end I came back to my house here in USA for summer vacations but I’m going back there in two months . The first week I arrive here we start talking as friend so I was telling him everything I was doing and he didn’t like me hanging out with a friend but everything we talk he always repeat to me we are never going to get back together so I told him I understand and I have it in. Mind so I told there was a friend into me and he ask me he wants to date you and I say however I say can’t date his Cus I still love u but I say eventually me and u we have to give opportunity with other people he got upset call me right away and tell how I’m telling him that when we are talking so I don’t understand so at the end he block me from facwbook and whatsssap but not from Buber another chat I see him get him online and the last time he logg in and even his sister block me but his cousin still have me as friend I think our problems was not that big issue so I feel we can fix our problem so my questions is how I can make our relationship work again and I won’t be back there until two months I know there is the no contact for 30 should I contact him after those 30 days or when I arrive there ?
admin
July 28, 2014 at 2:32 pm
After 30 days.
Piper
July 25, 2014 at 3:38 am
Chris, I found your great site while searching for tips on how to manage my relationship with an ex boyfriend. I need your help now as things took an unexpected turn. My ex and I had been friends for several years before we dated, then dated on and off for about three years. We broke things off because I wanted a more serious relationship and he didn’t. We were apart for several years, then out of the blue he contacted me through a professional networking site. Initially, I thought we’d chat briefly then move on, but he began emailing me frequently, reminiscing, and before I knew it we were conversing several times a week (at all hours/days of the week)–just like “old times.” He told me he was divorced, sent me pictures of his kids but did not say he was currently in a relationship. After a few months he told me he’d be at a conference in my area and wanted to get together. He seemed very excited, as was I. We met for dinner and had a great time catching up. About 2 hours into our visit he told me he was getting married in a week! I was shocked, because he never mentioned he was dating, let alone engaged, in any of our previous conversations. After parting, I texted him to thank him for dinner and congratulate him on his upcoming wedding and his text back was “Thanks. Drive safe” and I haven’t heard from him again. To go from frequent contact before our dinner, to a three word text afterward is bothersome. I’ve been very upset because had I known he was engaged, I would have keep my conversations light and infrequent, as he was “off-limits.” I started to have feelings for him again, and I wouldn’t have let myself “go there.” I also feel complicit (unwittingly) in behavior that might cause harm to his (now) wife and I don’t want to invite drama into my life. A few days after we had dinner, I emailed him through the networking site and tactfully told him his behavior was deceptive and disrespectful and I wasn’t certain what I did to deserve that treatment. I said I loved him, but that he was cavalier and I would not bother him again. I was hoping for some sort of apology, but instead he blocked me. I feel like he went out of his way to string me along and hurt me, and now blocked me as if I stalked him.
Although I know I’m not going to “get by ex-boyfriend back,” any insight into his behavior so I can get closure (since I doubt he’ll ever explain) would be most appreciated.
admin
July 25, 2014 at 3:04 pm
I think you are right. He strung you along and blocked you.
May I ask your ages?
Piper
July 25, 2014 at 10:54 pm
We’re in our mid-30s– Certainly too old to be playing games like this.
Any thoughts into the male psyche about why he did this?
Thanks for responding.
admin
July 28, 2014 at 2:30 pm
Sorry I lost the context a little bit (it happens when so many ppl contact you every day so sorry.)
What games is he playing specifically?
Samantha
July 24, 2014 at 8:32 pm
Hi Chris,
So after achieving the first steps of getting my exboyfriend back (frienship, one date) we were texting everyday, 10 txts or more, most of them coming from his side starting a conversation. We were doing just fine until one night, I committed the mistake of rushing things up and told him I missed him as a boyfriend, that for me a friendship was not good enough and I wanted to come back as a couple. He replied that he was not interested in a relationsip with me but I was really special for him so he thought that at least we could be friends but that if being friends was hurtful to me, he would back off.. Problem is, he was not behaving as a friend. He texted me constantly during the day, asking me how I was, telling me stuff about him, when he went out or when he came back, stuff that you dont send to a friend on a daily basis.
So when he told me that he only wanted us to be friends I told him I really didnt want his cheap friendship, that for me it was not good enough. He told me that I didnt know that I wanted, that I broke up with him for a stupid reason and he was not feeling ok with me telling him I wanted to come back, so he was going to block me. And he did, he blocked me on Facebook and whatsapp and the day after I sent him several sms apologizing about being rude, but that I really meant when I said I wanted him back, that he could think about it,and immediately after I applied the NC rule.
Since that happened, one week later after NC period he unblocked me, but he has not reached me at all. It´s been a week and he has not reached me but he opened the communication lines, which confuses me.
Chris, I have been thinking, after all that has happened since my bf and I broke up, I got to the conclusion that on his mind, on his Little ex boyfriend world, I am the one who is wrong, the one who made a big deal out of a situation (I broke up with him because I caught him flirting online, something I told him since day 1 I was not going to tolerate and it was a huge and painful deal to me, he agreed on not doing it.)and I am the one to blame for about taking the decision to Split. Like I always told him, it is a betrayal when you do something behind someone´s back that you know it is going to hurt that person, but I have been always willing to fix this if he were honest with me and regained my trust. But he has never apologized for what he did nor tried to do something about it. It seems that flirting online is a huge deal for him, even more important than his actual relationship. For the record, I met him online.
So after I exposed you my situation, why do you think he unblocked me? It has been 3 months since we broke up, and I am really confused about why he unblocked me from Facebook and whatsapp. He makes me feel like he is over me, and he is jut letting me go without having bad feelings about me. Do you think this is a possiblity? I thought we was over me when he blocked me and somehow I was starting to let him go, but now that I am not blocked anymore I came back to think about him and everything we have been through, I don´t know what to do or expect, can you help me?
admin
July 25, 2014 at 2:19 pm
He probably misses you or wants to see you on Facebook or spy on you to see how you are doing.
EB
July 21, 2014 at 8:32 pm
Hi i just wanted your advice as I have read three of your articles. Me and my partner lived together with my son we have had problems in the past regarding him lying where hes been, what time hes got home etc (when we didnt live together) which has made me question him times. he has self esteem issues an has left me twice before saying he wasnt good enough l, went with other girld then got back with me which i let him as i love him. things improved massively since we moved in together in december but last weekend he kissed someone on a night out when I found out and confronted him instead of apologising and making it right he cried and said he couldn’t take the pressure and he was unhappy I didn’t have any idea I’ve gone over messages and no incline apparently he was taking his frustration out on his family but acting fine when he was with me to keep me happy. He said he will only hurt me and my son in the future and told me he needed to leave and get help. He left with his stuff on Wednesday and other than a text about money regarding our house we have had no contact. He has unfollowed me on Instagram but I am still following him, and still follow each other on what’s app/twitter. Should i do the NC for 30 days and hope for the best, or am I being unrealistic. Since Wednesday he has been out every night and has added girls he had previously been with (slept with) and logged back into Facebook which he didn’t have when we were together. I feel like he is trying to keep himself distracted by messaging other girls.
admin
July 22, 2014 at 2:27 pm
He cheated on you…
Tell me what is your reasoning for wanting him back?
EB
July 22, 2014 at 4:56 pm
Yes he kissed another girl. My reasoning is I saw something great in him he puts himself down and I really felt at times he would open up to me I knew he could be better than he was being and I thought we bought out the best in each other yes I love him but that’s not just in he felt like my best friend
admin
July 24, 2014 at 2:10 pm
Your a better person than I am b/c I don’t think I could take someone back after that.
amanda
July 20, 2014 at 3:08 am
So I messed up the whole NC thing and called and texted him constantly. Now he blocked my phone number. I’m still messing up and Facebook messaging and emailing him. I want to stop, but I just keep thinking that maybe he’ll read something I say and talk to me. I don’t want him back. I just hate that he’s ignoring me. I need to stop and I don’t know how. Do you think that if I stop talking to him he will eventually talk to me?
admin
July 21, 2014 at 4:06 pm
Thats pretty much the only option you have at this point.
Need Advice
July 18, 2014 at 6:25 pm
Great post! My boyfriend blocked my number after we got in a small fight & I haven’t heard from him for a week and I have been trying to contact him, texting him from friend’s phones practically begging him to call me back (i know that probably wasn’t the best move but i panicked and the more he ignores me the more it drives me crazy, smh). I don’t know how someone can say they have all of these feelings for me & make all these promises and then just disappear without a word, with no regard for my feelings. I’m so hurt & confused. I know that in the past he had blocked a girlfriend & never talked to her again and it looks like he is doing that to me now. I really want to talk to him. I was thinkin of doing NC 2.0 but wanted your honest opinion. Since he has ignored the crap out of me for a week now & i know he did this to a girl in the past & never talked to her again, do u think he’s probably a lost cause?
admin
July 21, 2014 at 3:11 pm
I still think its worth a shot…
Maria
July 18, 2014 at 12:43 pm
Hi Chris,
I’m almost to the end of my modified NC with my ex but I found out he just blocked me on FB today. We’re in the same company, but are on different floors so rarely get to see each other in person. I got FB after our breakup and so never had him as a friend and he didn’t know that I had FB until a few days ago when I joined our company’s FB group. Today I looked at our company’s FB page and found his posts all disappeared and that if I search for him it ends in nothing. On my friend’s FB page, his comments would appear, so that’s how I know he blocked me. His work contacts have been friendly and we haven’t had personal contacts in 1 month. In our work contacts, I’m professional and always end on a positive note, but also tried to avoid him as much as possible, such as being short with my emails and not include him in some of the CCs. On some work emails when he asked questions on behalf of the clients, I just emailed back the clients without ccing him. I also sent our colleague a friend request but not him, and also did not say “hi” to him when I went to see our supervisor (his office is right next door), so everything should indicate that I’m not trying to contact him on a personal level. Thus I don’t understand why he would go out of his way to block someone who hadn’t given an indication about contacting him personally again after our breakup and whose FB account he only found out about after he saw on the company’s FB page. Any advice on what to do would be appreciated. Should I try texting him after our NC period? Thank you!
Desiree
July 17, 2014 at 3:59 am
My boyfriend of a few months blocked me. Everything seemed fine, he was normal one day & the next day he was acting really weird & I questioned him about it & he got really mad & defensive & wouldn’t answer my calls. He blocked my number on Sunday and I have been freaking out, texting him from different numbers asking him to please call me (he doesnt have social media). I asked if this is his way of breaking up to please just be respectful enough to call & tell me cause the way he is going about things is really hurting me. He never replied or called & just blocked the numbers I texted him from aswell. I am so hurt & confused and don’t understand how he can be so cold towards me. Obviously this is his way of ending things, he doesn’t want anything to do with me. Do u think this means he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore? Please help. What do u think i should do?
admin
July 18, 2014 at 3:13 pm
I wouldn’t say that.
Sometimes him blocking you means he does have feelings for you.
Desiree
July 21, 2014 at 6:55 pm
Well here’s a sad update. Turns out he blocked me cause he went to see another woman, i just found out he has had another girlfriend the whole time we were together. I am devastated. I waited for him while he was deployed in kuwait, I was nothing but good to him, there for him, faithful, honest & loyal and he basically had me here in ny and a girlfriend in atlanta. He flew in to see me, spent a few days with me and then flew out to see her as soon as he left me. He was telling me he was gonna marry me & telling her the same thing. He told her when his deployment ends in august he was going to move in with her in atlanta and he was telling me this whole time he was moving to nyc to be with me in august & even had me looking for apartments. We been together for months & he just met my family too (per his request). I don’t understand why he did this to me. I never heard from him again since I saw him last week & now that he got caught i see he blocked me on skype and is busy working on getting his atlanta girlfriend back because she told me & sent me screenshots. I feel so stupid and devastated. I don’t know why he dragged me into this bs, I am a really good woman, I have a lot of values and all I wanted was to find true love, get married and have a family and instead I was completely played but someone I trusted & cared for deeply and this seems to be the story of my life. Why do men do these things? He said all the right things, he really made me feel like he liked me & we had a future, i don’t understand. sorry, i am blabbing, but i am sooo hurt & devastated : (
admin
July 22, 2014 at 2:21 pm
I am so sorry.
He is a scumbag.
Plain and simple. I would say that at this point don’t try to get him back. There are a lot of good guys out there and he isn’t one of them.
Jenna
July 17, 2014 at 3:36 am
my boyfriend of two years, well we broke up from a stupid drunken fight. i blocked him on facebook out of anger, but unblocked him. a day later he blocks me, but than another day later unblocked me after a friend of mine asked him if we were still together, he said no cause of the drunk fight, yet he has been “liking” a pic and status i put on facebook (we are not FB friends) but my FB is public. we have been in NC for 10 days. when can i reach out to him or shall i wait for him to reach out to me?
admin
July 18, 2014 at 3:12 pm
I think 21 days so in 11 more days.
Jenna
August 13, 2014 at 1:24 am
thanks for your reply. since ive commented things have been complicated again. i was doing NC and starting to live my life again but he would msg me on facebook saying rude things like “ur ignoring me you can go out with your friends (who are female if that matters) but not take the time to work on us” i posted a status about going to a bar to see my friend’s boyfriend’s band and he wrote me 15 mean messages about it and than blocked me again. that was 2 weeks ago and i am still blocked. any advice? my only option of course is no contact since im blocked from his phone and facebook. but if he does unblock me, what than? this is a messy rollercoaster relationship but 2 years is a long time to spend with someone (i think anyway) and we always talked seriously about our future (marriage/kids) we just cant communicate for reasons i dont understand. thanks for your help.
Jenna
August 19, 2014 at 1:23 am
well i am now unblocked (yet again…smh) and he messaged me a picture with a wuote about “being ignored”
doing NC is making him angry and thinking i am ignoring him. i am not trying to ignore him, but i dont know what to say about him. is it possible NC can blow up in my face?
admin
August 19, 2014 at 2:30 pm
Yep which means it is working in a strange way.
Jenna
August 28, 2014 at 1:45 am
hmm interesting. so im guessing your gonna tell me to keep up with NC?
Brittany
July 16, 2014 at 6:42 pm
My ex and I have been broken up for a year and a half but have communicated off and on….got back together a few times to find out he has a gf and then he chooses her and blocks me…but is communicating by emails alittle bit not a lot but some like he still cares, he says he doesnt see us together and wont give me a chance but wont let me go if that makes sense I still love him and I have made efforts to change myself and my life but he thinks im repeat the past!!! Please help is it possible for me to get my ex back? or has that ship sailed away and what should I do wait for him to talk to me and enjoy life in the meantime let his relationship with her play out even though he states because he cheated on her with me that they are “working on it” any advice would help me out
admin
July 18, 2014 at 2:59 pm
He may have blocked you also b/c he is afraid you will contact his gf.
Brooklyn
July 16, 2014 at 2:34 am
Hi Chris, love the guide. I have been with my boyfriend a couple months, everything was great but we got in our first fight last week. After we made up he told me that during that fight he was planning to block me but then changed his mind, but said he has done that to a girl he was dating in the past & never talked to her again cause he doesn’t like arguing. I said so if we get in another argument u are going to just disappear? He said no he wouldn’t do that to me. Unfortunately we did end up have another argument & he started ignoring my calls & texts & then blocked me on his phone without even saying a word. I guess that is his way of breaking up with me & i know he has done this in the past so makes me think i will never hear from him again. I have been really emotional & text him from another phone a few times asking him to please call my cell , that’s it’s an emergency & show some respect after everythin & at least give me some closure but he never called me & it’s been a few days. He doesn’t have facebook, but he does have skype & i noticed he did not block me from skype. I just saw your guide, did i ruin my chances by trying to contact him? Cause truth is, i do have a lot to offer & he is really stupid if he doesn’t see that, but i’m scared i messed that up cause I went into panic mode. What do you think? What should i do? thanks : )
admin
July 16, 2014 at 3:00 pm
Your first fight and he broke up with you????
Man, thats harsh for him.
Brooklyn
July 16, 2014 at 5:09 pm
i guess that was his way of breaking up with me, he just blocked me and is ignoring me & i don’t know what to do : (
Maya
July 15, 2014 at 1:38 am
I broke up with my ex more than a year ago. Since then he dated this other lady. After things ended with her (she got engaged to another man a few months after they broke up) I realise he deleted her in facebook, the same time he deleted me in facebook. But then he added me again. Only to delete me again, and then add me again. He did the same for her once. Basically deleting her and adding her again. Currently she’s not his facebook friend, while.. err I am his Facebook friend. Hahaha.
You’re probably wondering why I would accept his friend request after he deleted me. I’m okay with it. Heck. Facebook is nothing. I’m just curious what is going through his head doing this.
Why would a man keep doing this whole deleting and adding you again in facebook? Why keep some ex gfs in your Facebook and play this whole adding and deleting game? Currently he still texts me randomly. Sending pics of himself at work/things he’s been doing, good night/morning messages etc. I don’t really entertain him. I dont get what his motive is? Does he want me back?
admin
July 15, 2014 at 3:20 pm
Probably because he wants to spy on you and then gets angry at what he finds and deletes and then adds you again cause he wants to spy again.
Rina
July 14, 2014 at 9:13 pm
Soo…..here’s my situation: My boyfriend and I broke up on July 8th, and that day I kind of made the mistake of freaking out (you know.. I begged and did the stuff you aren’t supposed to do), but when I got home that night I quickly viewed your site (which I remembered from a previous breakup I had gone through)… well after that I implemented the No Contact rule, but then my ex messaged me for a few clothes of his that I had at my house and he told me to come over to his apartment for my bike. Also, after he texted me he started a mini conversation with me where he said he was happy for me. I thought that was strange because he’s never been that nice to me before out of our whole relationship…, so the next day I went over to his apartment for mybike. Well, when I got there… he wouldn’t let me inside the apartment to see his roommate who’s one of my good friends (but she let me inside sinse she’s the actual one that’s on the lease) and I ignored him the whole time just talking to her. He started looking at me when he thought I wasn’t lookingand then when I would look at him… he’sd quickly look away. Then when I was having conversations with my friend he’d butt into our conversations -.- but I just continued to ignore him. And when I would continue to ignore him, he’d get mad and storm off into another room, but then he came back out and sit next to me trying to ignore me back (which wasn’t to hard to pick up on loll) then he asked me all nice and gentle-like, “are you sure you have enough money for the bus?” I thought that was strange because, like I said, he’s never been that nice to me (or anyone for that matter).
I think it’d be a good time to mention that the day we broke up (July 8th) I met a guy named Leonard who was so sweet to me (this happened literally 10 minutes aftermy ex and I broke up) and I was so happy about it that Itexted my friend (my exes roommate) about it. Well, he found out somehow about it and when I went there that day to go get my bike, he yelled at me about Leonard and said things like, “is he your new boyfriend now?!?” And “do you like him?!?” right before I left.Jealous much? Well, anyway, after that day I stuck with the no contact rule. It’s now day 3 of no contact and when I viewed my FB today I noticed that he blocked me (okay, so I did try to view his profile, but I still didn’t talk to him) :/ I’m not sure why he would do that but it could have to do with one of my FB posts indirectly saying that he has a Narcisstic personality (I didn’t tag him in it or put his name on it or anything… hence “indirectly”). He is the type of person to view my profile because he looks at the texts between me and my friend (his roommate) and 5 minutes after we broke up he looked through my phone to see who I was texting/ messaging on FB. He’s a controlling type.
Anyway, do you think he still cares about me by what I just told you? And why do you think he blocked me on FB? Also, I think it would help to give you some background about our relationship:
We were together 3 months, but I hung out with him for like 4 months before we started going out. We were only supposed to be friends with benefits because I had athis guy I was in love with (this guy was in love with me too), but this guy had to go on the run, and my ex kept asking me to be his (HE EVEN WENT TO MY MOMS HOUSE AND ASKED HER IF HE HAD HER PERMISSION TO GO OUT WITH ME. HE WENT THERE EVERYDAY LOOKING FOR ME! . To say the least, he wasobsessed and I didn’t even like him at the time… just his looks.) , so I said yes to my ex that I would go out with him because I felt pressured. Then after tha,t I continued a sexual relationship with the guy I was in love with till he had to flee the country (when his warrent was set out) which means I cheated on my ex 4 times in the beginning of our relationship. After that, he started being emotionally abusive andcontrolling/ manipulative. I tried breaking up with him Several times but he wouldn’t take no for an answer (he begged and fake cried). That’s when I started getting physically abusive because I just couldn’t take him being emotionally abusive toward me (he was also forceful in bed a lot because of his anger Toward me). He even started drinking and getting high everyday which I think is my fault because I cheated on him. Anyway, this is our background (please, I don’t want this big lecture about how crazy I am for wanting him back when he treated me like that… really, it was me who started it and I want to change my ways and I did like a month before our relationship ended and he stopped the forceful sex like 2 months before it ended)… please let me know if you think he still cares about me and why you think he blocked me.
admin
July 15, 2014 at 3:14 pm
It’s his fault he started drinking not yours. Granted, you did cheat on him but ultimately it was his choice to drink.
Honestly if I was you I would find someone else. This guy seems like a basket case…
Rina
July 15, 2014 at 7:44 pm
That may be true, but I love him unconditionally. Really, I’m not yet sure if I want to get back together with him or not… I’m just considering it for now. Right now I’m just trying to improve myself (eg. Eat more Healthy, Change my attitude to a more positive one, become more independent because right now I’m co-dependent), and maybe after 3 months or so if HE’s improved and got everything together then I’ll use your guide to get him back. I really wish I could help him with his addiction :/ All I want is for him to be safe and happy… and right now I know he’s not happy or else he wouldn’t be drinking and using drugs like this. All I can do is hope though since I’m not having any contact with him whatsoever ^.^ Anyway, thank you for your input Chris! 😀
admin
July 16, 2014 at 2:50 pm
Its admirable that you care so much about him but don’t forget about you.
Its ok to be a little selfish and in the long run make sure he is the best choice for you ok!
Rina
July 16, 2014 at 7:43 pm
okay Thank you Chris! :3