What To Do If You Get The Dreaded "No Response" After No Contact

576 thoughts on “What To Do If You Get The Dreaded No Response After No Contact”

rose

March 20, 2017 at 6:30 pm

I contacted my ex after NC and very neutral response… so upset. I think he has moved on he didnt even ask how I was.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 24, 2017 at 8:59 pm

Hi Rose,

when and why did you break up? How much did you improve during nc and were you active in posting in social media? What was the text you sent?

Vikki

March 17, 2017 at 4:22 pm

I just came down here to say, after I broke up with my boyfriend due to his bad behavior I immediately did no contact and I didn’t cheat at all. Radio silence. After the first day he stopped reaching out to me and I was kind of hurt that he didn’t try to contact me anymore, but that made no contact that much easier. Well finally on Day 34 out of nowhere he called me. I didn’t pick up and I doubt I’ll call him back. I’ll see if and when he tries me again. I may do 45 days no contact. But the best thing is, I don’t want him back! The space and time gave me so much clarity and the chance to embrace my life fully without him. I highly recommend no contact, as both a way to get over your ex and to get him back too. Thank you!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2017 at 4:23 pm

Thank you for sharing Vikki!

Abby

March 3, 2017 at 11:52 am

So about a month ago my boyfriend broke up with me. I called him up to check up on him one day, and the next thing I knew he stated “I can’t do this anymore”. It was quite a confusing break up for me (even though it still really hurt) because he broke up with me simply because “I have a guard”. I didn’t quite understand the concept until a mutual friend of ours tried to talk to him. While texting her, he stated to my friend that “She has a guard with my family”. I never had a guard with his family, only 1 person (which is his sister) because of how she was treating me. She wouldn’t connect with me and constantly mistreating me at times. (Ex: snappy remarks). He stated that he was tired of making excuses for me for telling my family why I had a guard. It really hurt because our relationship was going very well for the 2 years we been together. I understood that after the break up he needed space because not only his dad passed away recently, but he is also a very emotional guy. He has a facade and upbeat positive attitude in public, but behind close doors he isn’t afraid to cry if he is either overwhelmed or under pressure. I implemented the no contact rule and it has been over a month. I honestly think it was for the best to not get back together, but I do wish he would understand and come to his senses and eventually contact me again. We had so much to look forward to together and we both have learned a lot within the 2 years. It just hurts for him to see me in such a negative light instead of looking at all the positive wonderful things we have done in the course of the relationship.

Abby

March 4, 2017 at 12:00 pm

His sister already unfriended me so it would be difficult to connect. I also unfriended him on Facebook so I could heal. I improved very well during the no contact rule. My friend asked him approximately 3-4 days after the breakup. She stated he was highly defensive when she tried reasoning with him. When he said he broke up with me because of my guard, she replied “everyone has a guard, even I have a guard. If you give her more time she can learn to bond more with your family” he was replying with 3-5 paragraphs and being highly defensive (which he never replies that many times). He also stated he will never come back and that he is moving forward. He also lives with his mom, and everything was going well until his sister and brother in law moved back in a few months prior to the breakup. It hurts because we were doing so well
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 4, 2017 at 7:22 pm

if he’s telling the truth, then start building rapport with her sister too if you get him back. After nc, try to build rapport with him first.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 11:14 pm

Hi Abby,

to be honest, if he’s telling the truth, one of the ways you need to work out is your relationship with his sister.. If the problem is only about her, then always do the right thing of being kind. But for now, how much did you improve during the no contact rule and how active were you in posting in social media and when did your friend ask that to him?

Kieran

February 27, 2017 at 3:40 pm

I need some help. My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me 2 months ago saying she didn’t think she was in love with me anymore. (Ouch) I went no contact and started talking again. She replied and all seemed to be going well for a week or 2. I asked to meet and she said it was too soon. Now I’m being ignored again… What do I do??

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2017 at 7:54 pm

Hi Kieran,

how much did you improve during nc? Are you still improving now? Did you start with texts and then calls? If yes, just continue that. There’s not enough rapport yet to ask for a meet up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2017 at 7:06 pm

You’re welcome Nicole!
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2017 at 11:14 pm

Yeah.. well, let’s hope your apology will probably help him realize to come to his senses..
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2017 at 9:33 pm

What was the exact text you sent? After he got angry did you tell him you didn’t mean to make him feel uncomfortable and to have a nice day? That’s not a very good sign.. This is going to be the last attempt, go nc for two weeks before initiating again. If it’s still negative, you have to move on.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2017 at 4:00 pm

Wait a week before trying again. Use topics that he always loves talking about and check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2017 at 2:20 pm

what was your first text and what did you reply to that? That means you’re going to start a new topic or continue the last one in the next texting conversation.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017 at 9:06 pm

Hi Nicole,

about 24 hours. You have to make sure first if you are blocked, if you are blocked, that means you have to wait first to be unblocked. Set a limit until when you would wait but if you’re not blocked, try again after a week.
Elle

February 6, 2017 at 8:09 pm

I initiated first contact after 33 days of NC. Yesterday I initiated contact and he responded and today I initiated it but he hadn’t responded but I know that he’s seen it. I’m thinking about waiting a couple days and messaging him saying something like hey look, I’m not trying to get back together with you I want to be friends. If you don’t want to be friends I will respect your decision. Do you think I should send him that? He told me he wanted to be friends with me after he broke up with me but I couldn’t because the emotions were running high and I couldn’t be friends with somebody I loved. The last time we talked it was me begging for him so I feel like I’m giving him the impression right now that I’m going to beg for him when in reality I’m not. I learned that I can’t beg for him. I have to rebuild a natural connection with him. I want him back so once he agrees to be friends I will build rapport. If he doesn’t want to be friends. Life goes on I guess.

Elle

February 7, 2017 at 5:38 pm

I just have a feeling that in a week when I initiate contact again he’s going to flat out ignore me because he thinks I want him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2017 at 11:34 pm

that’s why it’s very important that you’re active in your life and in posting your actvities because that conveys you have a life and moving on.. go out more with friends
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2017 at 5:23 pm

Hi Elle,

just be friendly, asking it looks like you’re just trying to convince him.. if he asks if you’re trying to get him back, then that’s when you say you’re just being friendly

Anne

February 4, 2017 at 4:35 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for four years. He’s 29 and I am 30. I held on to a ton of insecurities from my past relationship. my trust issues didn’t surface until the second year of our relationship. Around that time he got a new job with %90 same aged female co workers…He was the kindest, caring,generous, amazingly supportive boyfriend. He treated me like I was number one. Even so, I was always bothered by his friendship with this one particular co worker. She never treated me as nicely as his other co workers, and pushed the boundaries of sexual texts and flirting at work. To the point other females they work with noticed, and found it to be inappropriate behavior if one of them was in a LTR. He didn’t understand why I was so upset, he only wanted to be friends with her and the he loved ME. My frustrations grew because he always projected the way I was feeling on me. “If you trusted me you would be fine with this” or ” of you’re upset with me being her friend, it’s your problem. Not mine”. And he let this friendship continue. I because very passive aggressive, checking his phone. And even going through his computer. Often making snide comments about her. Even at times asking him to compare us. It sounds crazy, it IS crazy. I just wanted him to do something about the situation because it upset me. And he refused. Instead, it lead to him breaking up with me because, “e never felt appreciated or trusted” “I never believed a word he said” and “we weren’t happy together and aren’t right for each other” and the best one “he was tired of continually making me sad”.
We met after a month of the breakup,( NC for 25 days) on November 1st. It was good. We laughed. We decided to meet up again. On December 1st. Again NC that month. It also went well and he was “excited to see me” bought my favorite wine. And made dinner. He told me he loved me. And misses me. And that we would meet again soon.
Then he went cold. Froze me out. Ignored me. When I did get him to answer his phone he had a bad day at work and said he wanted to part ways for good.
Then he would contact me or I would contact him weeks later, it would lead to him saying me loves me. Misses me. And then after that. Silence for a week maybe two. That pattern repeated until three weeks ago. I told him his back and forth feelings for me was literally killing me. I couldn’t handle being made to feel like a backup plan or a puppet. I told him I’m worth more than someone needing three months to decide if they really love me or not.
He blocked me from his phone. And told me about that in an email, and also stating that he doesn’t owe me anything. I never believed a word he said. And he did me a favor because he knew I wasn’t happy. I sent him an email back telling him that sometimes people can change and grow to become better people. To be able to be better together. And I hope we can keep in touch. No response. Then just two days ago I sent a short sweet email. About three scentences, asking him To remember the night we first said we love each other. I said it in a way that only he would know that’s what I was talking about. no reply yet.
So, we broke up in October. Went back and forth a lot. I made some big mistakes, texting too much, trying to purposely upset him so he would contact me, but I think I did some good things also. Is it too late to do No contact? And is it even such a thing when he clearly doesn’t want to hear from me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 5, 2017 at 5:21 pm

Hi Anne,

I think it’s not yet too late even if you did have silent weeks before, you were not focused in improving yourself and being active in posting. That time it didn’t look like you’re really moving on, so this time try a 45 day one because there’s a possibility he will contact you again after a minth5 and because you’ve been on and off..

Shane

January 30, 2017 at 12:28 am

Hi! I decided to try the no contact first then after 30 days of NC I tried contacting my ex bf who was in a relationship with me for 8 months. I texted him that I have something to say. Then he did response to me once asking what is it? Then I told him a funny long story. But I got no reply. Maybe because I texted too long and made me look too needy or clingy? Then the next morning after no reply I texted him a more serious text said I realized something that the road to acceptance is forgiving oneself and come to the turning point in my life that I need to ask him, are we really over? Still a long text coming from me and still I got no reply. Please help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what’s he thinking anymore. I’m almost giving up hope.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2017 at 2:32 pm

Hi Shane,

are you still actively improving yourself? I think you need to rest for two weeks before initiating again..

Someone

January 26, 2017 at 9:57 pm

Hi guys i want to share a story with you.
I know a man we broke up out relationship or friendship how ever Can I call it, we have seen each other two times in almost two years, I do know very little about him and jet I loved him and I was prepared to invest more, we even were not together for real, it was more like an affair for him, maybe even he had a partner i do not know, so much an answered questions, it was a long distance relationship, yes he was in love ibelive, there were more obstacles, big age difference, different countries, maybe even other things I do not know about, he was married and he is divorced, after six months he decided to be honest and tell me that he can’t give me a relationship and that I should find myself another man in my society, heartbrokening
however,
I wanted to be with him for real, still we were on contact for a while but when I decided to tell him that I will not sleep with him until marriage he stopped definitely, I tried and fight for this love and than I was so into depression that I slept drunk with another guy and I did tell him what happened, because we were still on contacts even if smaller, I asked for forgiveness, even blamed myself…than nothing was working somehow he began to ignore my text and everything and at the end he
deleted me from his life, not responding me for several months, no explanation, nothing, I did try to talk to him, nothing, like he was punishing me, or what, does he feel guilty and regret, I believe he now knows that I was honest and loved him very much, even if I did made mistakes, I do not know what and how can we and I trust him again if and when he comes back, we all need to speak the truth and be really committed to each other in faith trust and love and truth, because playing games will not work out for good. Just sharing a story.
He did not tell me the whole truth, he did not even take time to come and talk to me when I was heartbroken, he did not did anything than just disappeared, I was so angry and forgive me still today when I think about it…is this a husband I want or I want a husband that will care for me and fight for me, this world is crazy, man must take care of his woman and yes a woman must take care of her husband, how can I trust this man again, I was thinking I could die and he would even not know it, or some years later, that that sweet girl who he saw her naked and no it was not a prostitute but she loved him is dead, would change his mind or it was just a game of lust, yes I need to forgive myself and I forgive him.
We live in world when yes we need to be sexy skinny that and this and we must remember still the truth values of love truth and peace.
Playing games with out lives, yes I belive sure can help it some no contact rule but more than ever help the truth and love that is not being in love, but love that surpasses the mistakes.
I know today when he comes back I know we need to talk, about the truth.
we all humans have consciousness that tell us what is right and what is wrong and if we do what is wrong there we will pay a price and if we do what is right we will be blessed in life.
Unfortunately we all make mistakes and there the grace and mercy enters in.
If the no contact rule works I belive it does, many things works and not all are good, or if used with moderation, or better if not used at all. And the only thing should be used is again correct each other in truth love and peace.
No to pride, no to narcissism, no to lust, no to selfishness, no to jealousy, no to this world order, no to all bad things and dress up with light and love and truth and patience and mercy and wisdom, helping each other in truth.
Beliver in better.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2017 at 11:41 am

Hi Someone,

that’s good.. do new things, make new friends and widen your world.

Someone

January 26, 2017 at 9:54 pm

I know a man we broke up out relationship or friendship how ever Can I call it, we have seen each other two times in almost two years, I do know very little about him and jet I loved him and I was prepared to invest more, we even were not together for real, it was more like an affair for him, maybe even he had a partner i do not know, so much an answered questions, it was a long distance relationship, yes he was in love ibelive, there were more obstacles, big age difference, different countries, maybe even other things I do not know about, he was married and he is divorced, after six months he decided to be honest and tell me that he can’t give me a relationship and that I should find myself another man in my society, heartbrokening
however,
I wanted to be with him for real, still we were on contact for a while but when I decided to tell him that I will not sleep with him until marriage he stopped definitely, I tried and fight for this love and than I was so into depression that I slept drunk with another guy and I did tell him what happened, because we were still on contacts even if smaller, I asked for forgiveness, even blamed myself…than nothing was working somehow he began to ignore my text and everything and at the end he
deleted me from his life, not responding me for several months, no explanation, nothing, I did try to talk to him, nothing, like he was punishing me, or what, does he feel guilty and regret, I believe he now knows that I was honest and loved him very much, even if I did made mistakes, I do not know what and how can we and I trust him again if and when he comes back, we all need to speak the truth and be really committed to each other in faith trust and love and truth, because playing games will not work out for good. Just sharing a story.
He did not tell me the whole truth, he did not even take time to come and talk to me when I was heartbroken, he did not did anything than just disappeared, I was so angry and forgive me still today when I think about it…is this a husband I want or I want a husband that will care for me and fight for me, this world is crazy, man must take care of his woman and yes a woman must take care of her husband, how can I trust this man again, I was thinking I could die and he would even not know it, or some years later, that that sweet girl who he saw her naked and no it was not a prostitute but she loved him is dead, would change his mind or it was just a game of lust, yes I need to forgive myself and I forgive him.
We live in world when yes we need to be sexy skinny that and this and we must remember still the truth values of love truth and peace.
Playing games with out lives, yes I belive sure can help it some no contact rule but more than ever help the truth and love that is not being in love, but love that surpasses the mistakes.
I know today when he comes back I know we need to talk, about the truth.
we all humans have consciousness that tell us what is right and what is wrong and if we do what is wrong there we will pay a price and if we do what is right we will be blessed in life.
Unfortunately we all make mistakes and there the grace and mercy enters in.
If the no contact rule works I belive it does, many things works and not all are good, or if used with moderation, or better if not used at all. And the only thing should be used is again correct each other in truth love and peace.
No to pride, no to narcissism, no to lust, no to selfishness, no to jealousy, no to this world order, no to all bad things and dress up with light and love and truth and patience and mercy and wisdom, helping each other in truth.
Beliver in better.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2017 at 11:35 am

Hi Someone,

that’s good.. do new things, make new friends and widen your world.

mich

January 26, 2017 at 3:24 pm

hey i just told her sorry about everything
and he replied that she feel sorry for everything , for being rude
does our conversation looks like a closure
does the 30 dayy rule still work?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2017 at 10:29 am

Hi Mich

Yeah, it looks like a closure..there’s no guarantee that it will work but you can still try it

Carly

January 11, 2017 at 10:44 pm

I waited 23 days to message him, texted him, and he responded, his last text didn’t require a response, so I didn’t text him back. How long should I wait to text him again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 13, 2017 at 11:38 am

Hi Carly,

First, when and why did you break up? How much did you change in those 23 days and were you active in social media? Are you still improving yourself now?

Didi

January 11, 2017 at 10:29 am

I broke up because he said he wants a woman that ready to settle down with him in near future & he thinks I’m too young for that (I’m 23 & he 32). The other reason maybe because I’m a lil bit too clingy. I did NC for 30 days right after my break up. During the NC period he didn’t even message me. I was the one that started messaging him again on 7th January.
I started with talking about our fave gelato place & he answered it right away. He ended up asking for my office address because he wants to send me something from his travel to Australia (by sending a courier service to my office). After I gave it, he didn’t answer. The next day I texted him again because his fave football team will have a match the next day but he didn’t answer. I don’t here anything about him until now. What should I do the next?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2017 at 12:44 pm

Hi Didi,

wait a week before trying again..

Trinity

January 10, 2017 at 6:40 am

so after 29 days of NC, i decided to message him.
i said I have something to show you.
he replied ??? pretty neutral response.
i sent him a pic of him i have taken with his friends( cause no one was around that time so i have to took it)
but he didnt response at all? why is that?
Also, ive caught him looking at me a few times. does that mean anything? or am I just delusional.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2017 at 8:46 am

Hi Trinity,
I think it’s because it was not really conversational..maybe he doesn’t know what to say about that pic.. if you try again, maybe do it in a week..

Anna

January 9, 2017 at 8:32 am

I’m in a pretty bad situation. I dated a guy for 6 months long distance and were very serious- he met my family, I spoke to his, our parents talked- we were on the marriage track. 4 months into it he told me that he was unemployed. It threw me for a loop but I forgave him knowing how important his career was for him, and how much influence his family had on him. I tried my best to help him with opportunities, but it seemed like over time he wanted less and less of my help. Around the 6 month mark I went to go visit him and on my last day of my trip asked about our future and an engagement, and he broke down. He told me he was struggling, had low confidence, and was scared of that kind of commitment. I came back home and a week later he broke up with me. Said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and that he couldn’t do it anymore- he had suffered some anxiety attacks because of his life situation too. I asked him to go on a break, and not break up because this was about his work and I wanted to be a partner with him. We agreed to checking in every 2 weeks for 2-6 months. As the weeks went by, it got harder for me to stay afloat. I tried my best to be positive, but sometimes would have outbursts during the calls asking what was going on or if things were going to get better. Around the 3 month mark he started to get very distant and specific with the 2 week breaks, he refused to talk to me otherwise. He told me he was also being distant from his friends and focussing on work. He then got a contract job and started doing better, said he was open to talking to me more often than the 2 week check ins, but that it took him a while to get back to people so I shouldn’t be alarmed if he doesn’t text right away. The next week he went to see his family for thanksgiving and I didn’t hear from him at all for a few days, called and messaged, nothing. He got back to me saying he was fine and that whenever I text and call so many times it makes him feel suffocated and harassed. I told him I was sorry, I was just worried for his safety. A week later he had an event to go to that he had been working on, I asked how it went and nothing. I saw that he was talking to some friends on his Facebook wall, and got upset and called him out. I told him it hurt that he had time for others and not for me, called him a bunch of times, and texted him all day with apologies and heard nothing. It has now been 6 weeks since then. I reached out to him for 3 following weeks every few days asking for forgiveness, apologizing, and he hasn’t said a single thing. It has been 2 weeks since I last reached out. Now that it’s been so long and he’s been separating himself from me, what are my options? Will no contact even work in this situation? Please help. I’m so confused and lost. This was the guy I thought I was going to marry.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2017 at 6:40 pm

Hi Anna,
there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but it’s better to do it do you can improve yourself than to keep on chasing him

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576 thoughts on “What To Do If You Get The Dreaded No Response After No Contact”