Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,957 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

Maria

April 22, 2019 at 7:47 pm

Hi, I had an on and off again relationship for one year. I took him for granted always pulled the leave card and he finally did. We did NC for a week which was the longest NC for us, I really took him for granted. And he ignored my calls and texts. He never done that finally responded with I did this stop texting and calling and for me to learn from my mistakes and not to treat other future partners like this. I am doing the NC but realistically speaking I don’t think he coming back. Regret sucks! So idk why I read this just made realize it’s over and I have to deal my emotions
Anna

April 16, 2019 at 7:26 pm

i had been bestfriends with my ex for a 2 years and i liked him since the beginnig and he knew that, we didnt meet quite often as we were in a long term friendship but h told me how he though for 3 months and then asked me out amd we dated for two months. we were extremely close as we were bestfriends too and had a lot of understanding and our relationship was perfect except his bestfriend liked me and tolf him rumours of me cheating on him with me and his other bestfriend also left him while this girl that dislike asked him out. we ended our relatisnhip but still remained in contact for a month, hes started to ignore me now and i really need him since im going through a hard time. he said its because his parents are strict and he doesnt want to lie to them. i think i might have come off as too desperate because i called him numeroud times ad texted, hes removed me from some social media platforms not all. He still talks about me like he loves me and he told me he wishes we get back together. hes been ignoring me fpr 2 days. what should i do?

Chris Seiter

April 16, 2019 at 11:18 pm

Hi Anna….I can see that you have been thru a lot.I think having a solid ex recovery plan will help you personally on the healing side and also with fashioning an ex back plan.

Mandy

April 16, 2019 at 5:00 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I were together for a year (he’s 44, I’m 41). We met online, it was a long distance relationship for about 8 months. He then moved to my state and moved in with me. After about 3 months, he packed up most of his stuff while I was at work, wrote me a letter and left me. He moved to his hometown which is 1,800 miles away from me. His note said he was unhappy here, but not unhappy with me. He said I deserved better and he needed to work on himself to be the man I deserved. He said he thought he was making me unhappy and he left the way he did because he was a coward and didn’t want to see me hurt. While he was here, we had adjustments to make of course and I didn’t react well to some things. However, once I discovered he was gone, I was so blindsided that I got rid of everything that he left and all that reminded me of him. I took our pictures off of social media and changed my relationship status to “single”. I texted him asking how he could do this to me and then I wanted nothing to do with him. He responded with excuses, I didn’t respond. he then started calling me, telling me how much he regretted leaving and how he was wrong and about how much he loves me. I was resistant at first, but then I let him back in. I even booked a flight to go see him, as we decided to take our relationship one day at a time because we both need to work on ourselves. We have been talking again for about 4 weeks, with him consistently calling me. We were beginning to get back to the initial stages in our relationship.Three days ago last Friday was the last day we really spoke. Everything seemed normal. Friday night and Saturday, no word despite me calling and texting once. Sunday he called briefly to apologize saying he lost his phone (I don’t buy it) and he would call later that night. It is now Tuesday and I still have not heard one word from him. I am supposed to leave in 2 weeks to see him (a non refundable trip that he knows I rearranged my schedule for). I have not tried to contact him although I’m itching to ask him why he’s doing this. I don’t understand. He’s the one who pursued me again. i feel like a fool now. What should I do?
Claire Robinson

April 16, 2019 at 1:10 pm

9 years later and still no contact. It will never happen
Yvanna

April 11, 2019 at 7:19 pm

Hi there from Holland,
My ex boyfriend broke up with me on 27th of Febr, We had been together for less then 5 months. It was a very intense, passionate relationship after his divorce since 1-1,5 years (he was in the marriage for 20 years). We were very much in love, we were happy, there had never been an argument, he called me the love of his life and I felt that he really loved me a lot. And he became the love of my life. After all the bad guys, here he was the good guy and I loved him with all my heart (still do, off course). But after a few months he became afraid of the future with all of our children (he has 3 and I have 2 small kids), different hometowns etc. He mentioned it for the first time -at the beginning of September 2018) even before we had ever met that this was an issue for him, but he wanted to meet me and fell in love with me almost immediatly and wanted to have a relationship and he even talked about living together. But unfortunately we ended up in a break up (I think because of all the fears and insecurities he felt and the bad break up /divorce where he still wasn t completely over). We never saw eachother face to face, the break up was not in person (too bad)

after 3 weeks (It was probably 18-19 days oops…!) I reached out to him with a memory of us on a trip and he responded that he was also thinking al lot about all the good things during our relationship and told me that there was even nothing bad about it at all (as if he was suprised by it). A few days later I texted him again en told him that I accepted the fact that we can not be in a relationship and that I was living my life etc but I would like to have some contact with him once in a while, because I was curious where he had been up to the last few weeks. He responded with words that I was sweet and that we could have dinner together that weekend. Wow, everything according to plan! But I was going on a trip that weekend and I suggested the next week if he had any options. He would see, he said and I told him that there was no rush. Later that evening he reached out to me (for the first time) by telling me that I had hit a nerve (in a positive way) and we texted for 2 hours (oops to much?), he sended me pictures of his garden he had been working on etc. The conversation stopped by wishing him success on an important appointment the next day.

But then I didn t here from him the next week. So I texted him 5 days after our last conversation by asking him about the appointment . He responded within one minute and ask me about my weekend but also said that he was going to be offline the rest of the evening (without a reason). I immediatly thought this was a strange thing). Was he testing me, wanted to make something clear to me that I was annoying him, was he going on a date? So I texted him a few hours later to answer about my weekend and made a “joke” , that I would notice it soon enough when he got back online. There was no reaction, It has been 11 days since then. I see him often online in the evenings (with another girl??) Should I do NC? Is he moving on? Why want to have dinner with me and then a few days later ignoring me. Does he feel rejected (during our relationship he sometimes felt rejected when I had other things to do and couldnt meet him). I have been on several dates with another man since the break up, nothing serious, just friend zone. Maybe he is noticing, but that would be a good thing, right? (My English is not so good, sorry). A lot of questions. What does he want to tell me? And how should I react now? Thanks a lot for answering. Bye

Chris Seiter

April 11, 2019 at 9:36 pm

Hi Yvanna…so I think doing No Contact will help you first with getting back to a place where your emotions are more balanced. There are a number of recovery activities you can get involved in and you can learn about that an much more with my Program.

Althea

April 4, 2019 at 11:53 pm

Hi Chris, I’ve been dating this guy for 7 months. He have a good position in the company he is working, he is like a boss so he have so much responsibilities. He always works on weekends lately because of job and we just try to squeeze a time to be together on a weekend. Whenever he is stress and tired at work he will be grumpy on me and dont want to communicate or spend weekend with me its frustrating. One weekend he never reply to my texts so I texted him a bit to see if he is ok. he replied but he got so angry with me that he said he is so tired and stress so I wont get a good response from him. He thinks its too much that I just needed to know if he was ok whenever he doesnt reply for two days. He said to me that he knows he will regret it but he cant give what he doesnt have. Does it mean that he’s breaking up with me? I send him a message that I am giving him his space from now on and I only want whats best for him, even if it means I have to be out of his life. I’m stupid but I am not dumb, maybe he is telling me that he is breaking up with me and it hurts because after that message he never replied anymore so I dont know whats on his mind. What do you think was on his mind? Why he is acting like that. Can you also send reply to my email please. Thanks, Althea
Aileen de beer

April 3, 2019 at 12:53 pm

Does the no contact rule mean i must block him on social media 2 so he has no way of nowing what im up 2

Chris Seiter

April 4, 2019 at 3:15 am

I am more of a fan of keeping the social media channels of communication open as you can leverage that as part of your ex recovery plan. I discuss this and much more in my eBook, “EBR PRO”

Tani

April 1, 2019 at 7:53 am

Hi.. my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months a go.we were in relationship for 4 years .net St wotk.i havent heard of him since then. We had a fight something I did 3 years ago. Not cheated.when we were new in a relationship, we fought and I complained about him to his boss for his really harsh words. He recorded and used it against us.that time I had no idea he had recorded something like that. After 3 years , I and he came to know about it. And he broke up. I never admitted to our boss that we were in relationship. That time I was angry so I must have spoken something that I don’t even remember. Neither he or I have heard that tape. I’m a changed person. But he doesn’t want to continue and asked me to never contact again while breaking up.. I apologized a lot and told him I really care for him. But He broke up Over phone although we live in the same city.. we were very much normal before this.. please help me.
Lola

March 27, 2019 at 9:51 pm

Hi Chris my ex bf and I broke up two months ago, we were dating for two years (reason for break up is because I cheated on him)he has not contacted me since. And I heard he is intrested in other women, I want to be with him again. But I don’t know if he wants to.
Mickey

February 22, 2019 at 7:59 am

My boyfriend has not been replying to my text messages for almost 4 weeks. It started when I came back from the US and wasn’t able to meet him for 2 times due difficulty adjusting to the jet lag as well as being back to work and being active with it due to my pending tasks as well. It started last January 19 that he never replied to my message, I gave him two weeks of space as he always go with silent treatment. I initiated contact after two weeks but he never sent me a single word. I understand that but after a week of still no reply I got worried already as this is very rare for him. 2 weeks has passed even Valentines day no reply. Been sending him messages like every 2 hours but to no avail no response. Today is 3rd week of no communication, I sent him a text message to greet him happy birthday but still without reply. I even asked if we can see each other and go out still no reply but saw in his facebook he constantly replies on comments especially when he change his photo for his birthday. I even saw a girl putting heart emojis in his photo.

At this point, I’m totally lost. I do not know if he decided to move on and forget about me and just go on with his life without telling me. I just wanna know the status of the relationship.

Hope you can give advise.

Chris Seiter

February 23, 2019 at 4:38 am

Hi Mickey…so have you tried implementing No Contact and all of the things that come along with that? Take a look at picking up my Program as there is a wealth of information there that can help you in many ways!

Anonymous

February 5, 2019 at 12:37 pm

So my ex bf and I broke up back in August then lived together broken up still acting like a couple on and off till a huge fight happened and I was forced out of my hands to move out so I wouldn’t be stuck with the lease . He said he never wants have anything to do with me to since then we have been back and forth him asking to hang out , me come over , business so on and so forth. Well he has also made comments of making it work and getting back together several times to take it back a couple days later . Recently we had discussed that and i had left his place for him to tell me I left card there and said I could come get it later when I was free and he would wait for me with his plans to go to his family.I got there and he wouldn’t even open the door and came out closing it and wouldn’t let me in or anything and would hardly say anything to me but have a good night . I tried forcing my foot in door thinking somebody was In there and how his behavior was bizarre . I even called and texted him after I left and got no response and haven’t heard from since . How can one say they want to make it work night before and talk of futuristic stuff to take it back next day ? What should I do ?
Carissa Noelle

January 30, 2019 at 4:52 am

my ex and I still love each other deeply. We broke up because we are both too young and not ready to marry. When we dated he constantly told me he loves me . The day he let go , he said he’s willing to wait and that he “always loves me”. Yeah not “I’ll always love you” but “I always love you”. When we dated, we talked about our future together where we are married to each other and have kids etc. I really miss him and texted him if he still sees a future with me in it. He hasn’t responded to any of my messages and is using the NC rule. What do you think? Do you think that he does still love me and wants the best for me like he said when we broke up? (He said he wants the best for me btw). Is he using the NC rule to give me time to heal and let myself be happy without him? Please help. Thank you for your time.

Chris Seiter

January 31, 2019 at 1:34 am

Hi Carissa….perhaps he is and you should use it to find your full recovery and independence from him so you feel confident that you can move on without him if it comes to that. He obviously cares for you.

Lily

January 13, 2019 at 1:11 am

My bf and I broke up in November. The main reason was I’m too emotional. He said he couldn’t see a future with me. I plead him on the day we broke up. He said no. I did no contact for three weeks, then initiated the conversation with him. The first conversation was very positive. We didn’t mention anything about relationship. I sent him more messages that week, like contact him three times a week, sometimes he read my message but no reply, sometimes he would just ignore my message. I normally wait a few days to send him a new message. We kept contacting for the past five weeks. Sometimes his response is very positive, sometimes he is distant, but in the past month, he never ignored my message. I initiated most of the time, like I didn’t reply his message yesterday, then I would reply today. Just trying to build rapport with him. In the past week, we talked everyday, I thought we were making progress. I was so happy. But yesterday he ignored my message again. He changed a new profile, I asked him how old he was, he replied to me. Then I said he is more slim than before. He didn’t even read my message. I felt really hurt. I don’t know what I should do now. Keep building up rapport or just wait one week to send him another message? We been building rapport for five weeks, should I ask him to meet or build more rapport? Please advice.
Bee

December 30, 2018 at 9:10 pm

After no contact, my ex actually reached out to me. We’ve been texting for a few weeks with plans to catch up properly. All that abruptly stopped 3 days ago when he heard about me meeting a male friend… not even a date. My ex said he wasn’t going to bother pursuing me if I was talking to or dating other men. He said he was taking a step back. I agreed that he should as to throw the balance off a bit. But it’s been 3 days of him ignoring me and it’s a bit maddening. I’ve been following the steps and wasn’t expecting this response.

Chris Seiter

December 30, 2018 at 11:05 pm

Hi Bee!

It seems he is rather emotional and a bit impulsive, not to mention overly jealous considering the state of the relationship. Just give him his space, but be responsive if he reaches out. Take a look at my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” as it will help you in managing your own emotions thru all this.

krysten

December 20, 2018 at 4:48 am

hi! my ex and i dated for 4 months, but prior to this relationship, i dated someone for years. while i was with the new guy, i started thinking that i should have taken some more time for myself so i ended the relationship. about 3 weeks later, i met up with my old ex, and the new ex found out and was very upset. a few weeks later, the new ex and i ended up running into each other and with that, we started talking again. then he ended it, saying that we broke up once so it won’t work again. 2 weeks later, we met up again and started talking for the 3rd time. he told me how he felt about me and that i broke his heart talking to my old ex again for that short period of time. i told him how i felt and he understood and we continued to make it work. i felt as though he wasn’t giving his all though, and i had mentioned that to him and he said i wasn’t trusting him and he needed space. we didn’t talk for 2 weeks and then i “drunk texted him.” he didn’t answer then a week later he drunk texted me. we talked a little here and there but he later on said he didn’t want relations. we went 2 more weeks without talking and i just reached out again asking if he was totally done and he ignored me. now what??

Chris Seiter

December 21, 2018 at 1:05 am

Hi Krysten!

yep…drunk texting can stir things up. You would be better off if you had a sensible strategy. That’s what I try to offer people with my Program. Visit my website and tap into some of those tools and resources!

Artsychick

October 31, 2018 at 12:47 pm

Hey Chris! I did NC for 32 days straight and perfectly…my very last message to him was kind of mean but not really. Was just upset when he broke up, I sent that message but then I went straight into no contact, hoping he would forget that last one. Then contacted him 32 days later with a “Guess what? You wont believe what just happened”action phrase and he hasn’t answered back and it’s been a couple of days…
I never cheated on him or anything and he ended the relationship with not much information to why he did. It was abrupt
I dont know what to do next. Only way to contact him is by email or letter. He doesnt have a phone or social media (he was very old school,he wasn’t cheating or anything we were very close and I knew a lot about him) I lost his mom’s contact number so I can’t get a hold of her either. I dont know what to do mext Other then the wait 2 weeks to write another email again but I’m not sure what to write in that one now. :(I thought he was the one for me..

Chris Seiter

November 1, 2018 at 3:07 am

You do have my eBook, right? It walk you through all the steps of how to proceed.

Misha

October 28, 2018 at 7:32 am

Hi Chris , We were in a relationship for near 5yrs since both of us were 15yrs old. Everything was great until last yr beggining some arguments took place n he wanted to breakup. I was so shattered when he wanted to breakup. Now we are 21yrs old. He is in my contacts n sometimes it still hurts to see whats he doing without me. I jst want to know is wht should i do for move on as he did.He still calls me sometimes n chat with me to ask about my studies n etc.

Chris Seiter

October 28, 2018 at 5:07 pm

Hi Misha!

Certainly 5 years is meaningful in that it builds traction which can pay off later in bringing you back together. I think implementing no contact is a good tactic. Pick up a copy of my 485 page eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it will help you with the entire post breakup process.

Jasmine

October 11, 2018 at 5:17 am

I was in no contact rule for 5 days. They were painful. I was grab my phone wanting to text him and I would only STOP myself when I would come back to your page to remind myself why I shouldn’t send that text . But today it got the best of me and I sent him a text. He didn’t reply because it was negative on my side. But I tried again a few hours later talking to him normal and he replied. 5 days ago he was trying to convince me to hang out with him but I blew up on him and blocked him off of every social media and he left me alone. So maybe that’s why he ignored me now? Could he had just realized he doesn’t care anymore? 5 days ago he said he loved me and wanted to hang out with me.now he’s just cold

Chris Seiter

October 12, 2018 at 3:14 am

Hi Jasmine!

Best to pull back and resume NC. Remember, an important part of NC is your own healing and recovery so you arrive at a place where you are not emotionally wholly dependent on him. There is more to it than that. Take a look at my program as I cover all of the elements you should be aware of during post breakup.

Taya

October 4, 2018 at 6:12 pm

Hi Chris,
I have been with my ex for 4 years and he moved out and ended the relationship July 31. He said I was to much and all I wanted to do is argue but that was not the case he didn’t like it when I would tell him the things he was doing was not acceptable. 2 weeks after he left we bumped into each other and he stopped and said hi. I text him and told him It’s better if we not speak to each other. He was upset and said he will not say nothing to me. Now when he see me he just stares and watch me walk down the street. I ignore him. I haven’t spoken to him in 3 months. He is the one that ended our relationship. Am I doing the right thing? I think the only reason he wanted to speak is to see if I was miserable without him and that’s why I decided to ignore him altogether

Chris Seiter

October 5, 2018 at 2:16 am

Hi Taya!

Sometimes guys get hurt and they just quiet and into denial. Focus on your self growth and he is a big boy. If he wants to pursue you, he can.

Anonymous

July 30, 2018 at 12:13 pm

I think this is wrong. You’re giving women hope that there’s a chance to get back with him.. There is always a reason relationships end. And if it ends, and if he’s the one who breaks it off, then he isn’t worthy of a second chance. And vise versa. I like the no contact rule, but I would encourage this: go 30 days without contact. After that you have proved to yourself that you are strong and that you are worth something better. Go another 30 days. Don’t try to get back, that alone is desperation. Believe in yourself enough to know that there’s someone better out there for you, who won’t break up with you. Why put yourself through the misery of trying to go back to a relationship that has failed?

I’m sorry but your article is giving people false hope. Be better than that.

Chris Seiter

July 30, 2018 at 4:01 pm

Thank you for your thoughts. Everybody’s situation is unique and calls for different approaches. Some people are not compatible and they come to learn that. But others do have a chance, yet conflict for all kinds of reasons will arise and sometimes it takes time and perspective and experience and maturity to work thru this. I wish we lived in a world where there were no breakups and everybody chose wisely, but unfortunately, relationships can be confusing, complex, messy, and a dozen other things. But not all of them should be abandoned.

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1,957 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”