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6,800 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

  1. Sandy

    June 21, 2016 at 1:23 am

    Sorry didnt mean Baron lol

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 22, 2016 at 6:58 am

      Hi Sandy,

      hahaha! Yeah I wondered who baron is.. being that it’s your first relationship, you really need to learn how to be independent first.. and to find yourself first.. so that you don’t become needy..

  2. Sandy

    June 21, 2016 at 1:22 am

    Hi Baron.
    I have been googling here and there for advice on my current situation and would appreciate your advice.

    Me and my ex had been together for almost 6 years now. We began dating when we were both 19. Our relationship has always been on and off, always him breaking up with me. Whenever i believed things were going good and happy he would break up with me. Reasons from him being jealous, not wanting to be in a relationship and just wanting to be single, to saying he doesnt love me anymore and to thinking I’ve cheated which i never have. Any issue you can practically think of really. Ive always been happy in the relationships but idk on his part. Everytime we would break up I would ALWAYS be the one texting and begging him to come back, going completely out of my way and hurting myself to win him back. Which he would always return, first after a couple days then weeks and now months šŸ™ the last break up lasted about 2 months which i really thought was the end but eventually he came around like always. Finally after a year and half of what seemed like everything going great and both of us being happy be breaks up with me! He said it was because he doesnt feel the same anymore, that we have been fighting alot, that hes bored and even that hes not attracted, which i have not changed in appearance at all and would consider myself very good looking. Then a couple weeks after i found out through his mom that he thinks that i cheated which i can confidently say i have never in my life. So now i feel like its just a mix of reasons why he broke it off. The whole moment of the break up involved alcohol and lots of fighting, more his part and me more crying than anything. I told him how much i loved him and how much he ment to me before he finally dropped me off home for the final time. His last words were give me a couple months to see how i feel. Days after the break up he texted me non chalant like nothing happened but when i texted back he didnt respond. I begged and cried to him the first day and then started NC. I checked in on him afer a week and said he wasnt thinking about it anymore and that hes already made his mind so i left it at that. Then followed up a second week out to only recieve the same response that he didnt wanna get back together so I basically just said my good bye to him and left it at that and have talked to him since. The problem is i continued speaking with his mom afterwards, she loves me and wants up to be together. She would tell me that he told her that he misses me and that she can tell hes hurting but then why wouldnt he text me i ask myself? The last update i got from her was that he said hes never getting back with me cus he doesnt trust me, things werent the same, and he never gonna talk to me again, which broke my heart again! Its been a week now that i last spoke with his mom now. So now i officially feel like I’ve started no contact since i know whatever i told his mom about how i was feeling she’d turn around and tell him so even though i wasnt texting him it was never like i was really gone. I’m FINALLY doing something different by keeping my distance and really leaving him alone to see how he truely feels and if it is what he really wants. Ive never respected his choice to break up because i would constantly be there texting him and calling him, pathetic i know and I finally realize that lol. Part of me feels like he does it because he knows he can, because he knows how much i love him. But its so unfair to me to continue getting my heartbroken.

    So its been a month today that we broke up, almost 3 weeks since I’ve last talked to him but only 1 week since I’ve cut contact with his mom. My plan is to continue NC to help myself move on from these feelings but also in hope that realizes what its really like to not have me in his life and if happier tha way or not. Deep down I feel he genuinely loves me so I keep telling myself, if he does he’ll return and if not I’m not losing anything. But as time goes on it only gets harder and harder not to text him expecially because hes made no effort to talk to me or even to see how I’m doing since he knows how heartbroken i was when it all happened.

    Im doing my best to finally be strong for myself at this point and make him reach out to me for once. I’m just scared that he never will and its killing me. I just dont want him to forget because I know hes trying to force it to go away on his part.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    P.S. This is my first and only relationship ever. My first love, first everything.

  3. Regretful

    June 20, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    Hi,

    I was in a relationship where he claimed to have lost feelings over time. Out of frustration, I threw something at him and walked away. I insulted his appearance and other features in the heat of the moment. Will the no contact rule still work even if he lost feelings? Is there a certain amount of time I should wait and how do I reinitiate contact? Do I have to apologize?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 22, 2016 at 5:48 am

      Hi Regretful,.
      You should check this post out:
      What Really Attracts An Ex Boyfriend To You?

  4. Nemo

    June 17, 2016 at 10:58 pm

    Hi, never done this before but I have no one to talk to and would love to get this off my chest. My Ex boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me. I feel lost, heartbroken and helpless. He called me up one evening and decided he didn’t want
    To peruse this relationship mentioning,”he doesn’t like me, spark is gone, doesn’t want pressure of seeing me”. He has of pressure from his family as he’s made a few bad decisions e.g gamble, drugs etc. He’s a gentleman, always treats me with respect and all. He no longer has a car and finds it really hard to manage to come and visit me with all the pressure at home, university deadlines, debt and me. He broke with me on the basis of I deserve better, I need to move on, I need to be with someone who will give me much more then he has. Regardless to anything I never gave up on him. He said he wants to be single but loves me very much and can’t stand the sight of me with anyone else. I tried so hard, cried, pleaded even tried to compromise to make it work. The relationship was good plenty of good memories however we did argue occasionally. Iknow you can never reassure whether NC is going to work. But I have no friends to talk about this with. Wondered if you could give me any advice?, he messaged me and said he wishes me the best and all and rang me to say sorry. He said he’s not happy but likes me very much. I just feel super hurt and lonely. What can I do? Any specific NCR advice?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 18, 2016 at 10:54 pm

      Hi Nemo,

      let him have his space to pick himself up independently..if he needs help from you, he will say it but right now give him that freedom to take his time to rebuild his life.. do nc, so you can heal and focus on building a new routine and a new lifw

  5. lillllyy

    June 17, 2016 at 9:37 am

    Iā€™m really really hoping you can help me. I was with my ex for nearly 4 years. The majority of the time we were so happy and strong and weā€™d planned our future together and I genuinely thought we would be together forever. We did argue, mainly due to my jealousy due to his past, but we always worked through it. We were due to go on holiday and a couple of nights before we were due to go, we had a big argument because we were supposed to spend the night packing but he went out for ā€œone drinkā€ which turned into in him getting the last time home steaming drunk. I was angry and overreacted and told him I didnā€™t want to go on holiday with him anymore and that I wanted some space. I didnā€™t mean it, I know I just wanted to get a reaction out of him and I shouldnā€™t have said it. He came over to try and sort things out but I was still angry and yelled at him to get out. Weā€™ve had arguments like this before but usually Iā€™d call him and make him come back and weā€™d sort everything out. Well this time I didnā€™t call and I assumed in the morning he would have messaged me but he didnā€™t. This was now the day before our holiday so I messaged him and asked him what he wanted to do. He said I was right and it wasnā€™t a good idea for us to go on holiday together. I spoke to him that night and he said he felt that I didnā€™t trust him and never would and that he needs to be able to go out with him friends without me giving him grief (I know he is right and this is something I am definitely willing to work on). So I went on the holiday by myself and he came to see me when I got back. We talked about everything and it felt like we were pretty much back together but we agreed to take it slow. He messaged me something really cute that night, and for the next couple of days we were messaging. Then things went quiet and I didnā€™t want to push so I didnā€™t message him. I drunk called him on a night out and left some voice messages saying I missed him, and when I spoke to him the next day he told me this had annoyed him. I didnā€™t contact him for around a week after that to give him some space. We met up for a drink the next weekend because I asked to see him. We had a great time and were chatting and laughing like normal, but then we moved on to talking about the relationship and he said we needed to be apart to work out how to be happy on our own and to be ourselves again. He said he does want to work things out but he needs time and that he doesnā€™t want me to rely on him for his happiness. I know where he is coming from because in the relationship we both went from being very independent sociable people to being quite dependent on each other and seeing our friends less. I decided to go no contact for 30 days, and last night was day 11. I hadnā€™t heard from him at all Iā€™d been out for some drink and when I got home I accidentally called him (I was reading through old messages and pressed the wrong button) I hung up really quickly but the call still went through, so he called me back and we were chatting and laughing normally. He had another number ringing him so he said heā€™d call me back, and when he did he said the call had been from his best friendā€™s wife to tell him his friend had been in an accident and asking him to contact the parents. He was obviously really upset, I offered to go round but he told me not to and to go to sleep. He messaged me a few times after weā€™d hung up to say thank you for listening. This morning I messaged to make sure he was ok and to see if there was any news on his friend. I got very short replies, he said there was no new yet and when I said I hope everyone is ok he just said ā€œthank youā€ so I decided to leave it and start the no contact period over. Iā€™d messaged my friend last night after heā€™d first called me back just saying ā€œshitā€ because he knew I was trying not to contact him. She messaged back this morning asking what was wrong. I sent messages back to say Iā€™d accidentally called my ex and that weā€™d spoken, and I said I just wish I didnā€™t want him anymore and that it was hard and I wanted to get over him. I accidentally sent these messages to my ex instead of friend, because Iā€™d been reading back through our messages from the night before. When I realised what Iā€™d done I felt sick and quickly turned my phone off. I turned it back on after half an hour and am too scared to check if he read the messages, but he hasnā€™t replied and I know heā€™ll have seen them. What can I do now?? I feel l like I have completely ruined everything and heā€™s going to be so annoyed because obviously heā€™s worried about his friend and wonā€™t want to deal with this right now. Shall I start no contact again now and not mention the accidental messages? Or should I stop being so selfish and be there for him until he knows his friend is going to be ok?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 18, 2016 at 4:09 pm

      Hi lillllyy,

      if he needs you for his friend, he’ll say it.. restart no contact instead and dont worry about your message. He might have been hurt but at least now he knows you’re not waiting forever

  6. Step

    June 17, 2016 at 1:05 am

    My boyfriend is 43 and I am 31. This is day 10 of NC for us. He had been pulling away from me since April and we took a break after he admitted to not being able to give me and the relationship the attention I was asking for. His parents are sick and his job is stressful so he was unwilling to compromise and be flexible with me on setting a time just for us. I told him I wanted to let the relationship go for now because I felt like he wasn’t trying to work on the relationship like me. He had stopped spending time with me even when I would ask to come over and hang out with him. We stopped making love as well. I started chasing him big time, initiating texts, and dates. Please help me. I feel like I am doing what is right for me through the 30 nc but I miss him. I am glad to spend this time on me but I want to know if your program can work for me. We met on match.com and he doesn’t use Facebook that much. I am thinking about using match.com to upload new pictures of me. Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 18, 2016 at 2:51 pm

      Hi Step,

      if you updtae your match he might think you’re looking for a new date.. and we can’t guarantee that nc will work 100% but it can help for him to have space to think

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 18, 2016 at 2:47 pm

      Hi Step,

      we can’t guarantee it wilk work 100% but it can help for him to have mkre time to think and if you decide to update your match profile, he might be thinking you’re looking for a new date..

  7. Sad girl

    June 15, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    My ex and I had a turbulent relationship, terrible argument style. He has a dreadful temper and becomes mean and cold and very nasty during fights. Sometimes I become mean too when I allow it to wind me up, and sometimes I’m not when I don’t allow him to upset me.

    Last weekend we had a fight (all text) where I kept refusing to be dragged into the rage and asked him to calm down before I would have the conversation. I was proud of myself for being so calm and sensible, and imagined he would calm down, then we could discuss our issues nicely.

    It backfired. He dumped me for making him feel ignored and not listened to.

    It sounded like he was not 100% sure as he kept telling me to call after, but as he still sounded angry, I said I’d rather not.

    Then he sent a really nasty message about how he had decided before the argument he was going to leave me.

    At this point I was so hurt and shocked that I went straight into NC without warning him.

    He sent a sad message that night saying he is heartbroken etc, but of course I did not reply.

    One week on, no contact from either of us. I have just realised the advice is to warn them that you need time, and I didn’t do that. Given that his reason for breaking up is he feels ignored, have I just hurt him more and shot myself in the foot? Or should I carry on NC?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      Hi Sad girl,

      I think he understands why you’re not answering now because of what happened.. And 2 weeks of nc is ok since all you need is for him to cool off.

  8. B

    June 14, 2016 at 9:56 pm

    Should I wish my ex a Happy Birthday if it’s on day 26 of NC? It’s been just over a week, this is our first break up, we were together 3 years happily but he said he lost the spark, he contacted a few days after trying to be my friend but I ignored it then decided to message after a few days saying that I couldn’t be his friend because I didn’t want to be friend zoned, I asked for some space so haven’t heard from him since. Thanks

    1. B

      June 16, 2016 at 3:41 pm

      Because it’s so close to the end I don’t want him resenting me and ignoring me when I finally reach out to him. I have a lot of stuff at his still which I said I’d contact him when I was ready to pick it up, but if I ignore his birthday then contact him a few days later won’t that just make him really angry and bring back the negative feelings that he’s hopefully let go of during NC?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2016 at 5:07 pm

      HI B,

      actually greeting him is not allowed because you’re supposed to be trying to move on and I think he knows that too.. So, he’ll understand plus that adds to the chances of him missing you.. If he gets angry, you can apologize one time after nc and just say sorry for how you made him feel but you hope he had a good day that day..

      And then text him again after maybe 5 days..

  9. Neria

    June 14, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    Hi
    My ex bf & I were together two & half years (the
    longest heā€™d been with a woman since he was
    widowed). We were on/off the last couple of months
    then 2 weeks ago he decided to pull the plug on our
    relationship citing lack of desire to be around me.
    Weā€™d been arguing a lot however I now realise that
    maybe he was put under pressure by my demand for
    his attention on top of dealing with a demanding job,
    boss from hell & being a single father to 2 teenage
    boys.
    I love him & am prepared to work on myself to better
    understand his situation & be more supportive. He
    used to confide in me about issues he told me heā€™s
    never shared with any gf before & made me swear
    never to tell a soul as he canā€™t even share these with
    his mom & friends. We had a good relationship,
    talked about everything under the sun when not
    fighting. He was really caring & spoilt me when he
    had the time.
    I have decided to go no contact after I told him I
    respect his decision & agree that a break from each
    other will be best for both of us. This decision was
    however preceded by days of unsuccessful pleading
    & begging.
    Do we have a chance of working things out after
    weā€™ve both calmed down? I suspect heā€™s already
    seeing another woman though.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2016 at 5:10 pm

      HI Neria,

      it’s just been weeks, it’s more probably a rebound. So, go ahead and restart nc and focus on improving yourself so that you can increase your chances of getting him back.

  10. Melissa

    June 13, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    I keep restarting the NC but always seem to break it. We been on and off for 9 months now and I know something has to change because I’m emotionally exhausted and beyond tired of his crap. Even though he wouldn’t commit or agree to move back in together we were doing okay, hadn’t fought in a while but I confronted him because he started calling and texting less again and this time he didn’t contact me for 2 days, when I did my ex said he think we should cut ties and that I was psycho. I haven’t replied since and it’s going on day 4. I live in Orlando and yesterday was the gay bar mass shooting.. I hadn’t heard from him until after the shooting.. He sent me a text saying this..”Not trying to get a response but hope you’re okay, I know you and your friends like to go out” (I hardly go out anymor but he always had an issue whenever I did).

    Is what he text me a test text and should I reply to let him know I’m okay? Please help, I don’t have family anymore in Orlando and only stayed back because of him..

    1. Jennifer Seiter

      June 14, 2016 at 12:37 am

      No Definitely do not reply back to him! That shooting was crazy and scary but do not let him know your ok. I’m sure he’s just trying to get a reaction out of you and it’s great that he thought about you during that time! It shows that he still has feelings for you but absolutely do not respond.

  11. angie

    June 13, 2016 at 11:08 am

    hi EBR team,
    i broke up with my boy friend of 2 years a week ago. i heard from friends that he is dating someone else, when i ask him he deny it. he asked me a question that left me confused, an i quote, “have i ever told you that i don’t want to be with you?” the ans is no, but i ask myself why he is with someone else if he wants to be with me. we are dealing with distance at the moment cz i work in another town. i want to try NC but i dont think i will manage cz am too weak to ignore his texts and calls. he has been calling and texting since we broke up. please advice on how to deal with the situation.
    i want him back soo bad.

    thanks.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2016 at 12:44 pm

      Hi Angie,

      if you really want to increase your chances.. you have to be stronger.. not just for nc but for everything: emotionally, and psychologically.. you have to be firm when enough is enough

  12. angie

    June 13, 2016 at 11:06 am

    hi,
    i broke up with my boy friend of 2 years a week ago. i heard from friends that he is dating someone else, when i ask him he deny it. he asked me a question that left me confused, an i quote, “have i ever told you that i don’t want to be with you?” the ans is no, but i ask myself why he is with someone else if he wants to be with me. we are dealing with distance at the moment cz i work in another town. i want to try NC but i dont think i will manage cz am too weak to ignore his texts and calls. he has been calling and texting since we broke up. please advice on how to deal with the situation.
    i want him back soo bad.

    thanks.

    1. Jennifer Seiter

      June 14, 2016 at 1:26 am

      Hi Angie,

      No contact is your best bet here. He is used to you being there for him. Give him a chance to miss you. If your going to be to weak to do it then it won’t work. Also you will have to be strong after no contact too when you are talking to him.

  13. cv

    June 13, 2016 at 8:00 am

    third time we broke up, i have now decided to go with the NC rule. the first 2 break-ups, i have always went back to him and pleaded to get back together which he always accepted. what are my chances that he will still take me back if i contact him only after 30 days? will he get tired of waiting since i never went a day without contacting him before? please advise. thanks!

    1. cv

      June 14, 2016 at 1:27 am

      the reason of our break ups was me being paranoid all the time, well i always pleaded and asked him to take me back, that he always accepted. i thought the standard was 30 days, 21 days should be fine as well? what if he contacts me during the NC period?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 17, 2016 at 2:15 pm

      it’s the most common but the number of days depends on the situation

    3. Jennifer Seiter

      June 14, 2016 at 1:22 am

      He may get tired of waiting but you really have to figure out what was the cause of the breakups so they don’t happen again. I think you should do 21 days. What is the reason you chose 30 days over 21?

  14. Vicky

    June 12, 2016 at 12:50 am

    Started 30 days of no contact 14 days ago… Been fine, but it was a friend’s birthday, a close friend, so I had to go to the party. My friend has friends in common with him and despite me not having told anyone about our breakup (it’s been 4 weeks officially), they of course cornered me to ask what was going on. I spit it out, didn’t dwell and went on with my night… A mutual friend happens to work at the bar we were at and I was my normal self with her as well… Dancing and whatnot, overall making sure I looked happy and had fun. Several pictures were taken, several were posted by these friends… And our mutual friend, as I was saying good night, asked if I would “be there tomorrow?” To which I responded no and when she looked surprised, I explained that we had broken up. Soooo…. My question is… Did I violate no contact? Do I have to start over again? Or does this not count as contact even though you know he saw the pictures, ans that our friend will likely bring it up to him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 12, 2016 at 2:30 am

      nope you didn’t break no contact.. actually that’s one of the right moves.. He has to see those posts.. You will only be breaking no contact if you had a small talk with him or about feelings or relationships.

  15. Rebecca

    June 11, 2016 at 9:48 pm

    Hi,

    During my last encounter with my ex, I publicly humiliated him by pouring a drink on him. Will no contact still work or should I have apologized? Should I apologize when I make contact again?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 9:50 am

      Hi Rebecca,

      you didn’t mean it right? just a casual apology will do..don’t make it a big deal so that he won’t too

  16. Kittz

    June 11, 2016 at 6:09 am

    Hi,
    My boyfriend and i broke up 7 months ago. I begged and pleaded. Then i stopped talking to him as he was not responding to any of my texts. Then after 2 months i got a friendly text from him. Eventually we started talking.
    Two weeks before we had a fight. He said i was immature and clingy and also asked me not to contact him.
    I am confused will no contact rule work this time?
    Also i am afraid if he finds someone else during this time period or will he start hating me and never come back?

    1. Kittz

      July 12, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      Hey
      It’s been more than thirty days and i just got a follow request from my ex. Should i accept it or continue the nc rule!?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 12, 2016 at 6:38 pm

      if your nc is 45 days, then it’s better to accept it after 45 days

    3. Kittz

      June 17, 2016 at 6:18 pm

      Following*

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 18, 2016 at 10:33 pm

      you have to focus in healing and improving yourself.. we can’t guarantee that nc will solve your problem 100% but it’s meant to help you increase your chances that you will not achieve if you keep being present in his life

    5. Kittz

      June 17, 2016 at 6:16 pm

      Its been 10 to 12 days, since then we’re not talking. And i am follow the no contact rule.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 16, 2016 at 12:38 pm

      Hi Kitzz,

      you mean just ago from now? so when did you last talked?

  17. Emily

    June 11, 2016 at 1:09 am

    Hi! My boyfriend put me on a “break” because I am too clingy, emotional, depressed and because of my mental illness that I cannot really control. I’m trying to be happy because he said he would come back when I get my emotions in check, and I’m happy and not as sad. I was sad because my dad is cheating again and my jealousy and insecurities got the best of me. He really doesn’t want to speak to me, and all I want is to hear his voice and have a hug again. How do I get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 16, 2016 at 3:48 pm

      Hi Emily,

      Do you want to try the no contact rule?

  18. Cara

    June 10, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    Hi again, I was hoping someone could answer my questions, I would really really appreciate it. I know you are all busy over there. Thanks again šŸ™‚

    1. Cara

      June 22, 2016 at 4:27 am

      Hi, Well that was the first time he has ever been rude to me in all of our dating history and I could tell it was deliberate to hurt me because he was mad I used No Contact for 21 days. . And I want him back because I believe his good qualities outweigh the date where he was rude to me. I have also been reading Chris’s book and other posts and it says that if a guy is angry or rude to you it’s because they are emotionally invested in you. Another article of Chri’s says it could be a form of “negging” to gain control? I think his rudeness was more about a tit for tat thing because I did the NC. I get a ton of mixed messages from him, and like I said before the week before he sent me a Valentines text that implied he was interested in rekindling things. As for him , dating other girls….I have never asked him directly but I am sure he has as i know from the friend who introduced us he is on an online dating site. (But I also know from my own monitoring that whenever I post a new pic of myself on FB he goes on there AND on the dating site to what seems to be comparing. He has asked 4 different times in the last 6 months if I was dating anyone or if I had a boyfriend. I also suspect he was using our mutual friend to find out if I’m dating . That same mutual friend told me 2 months ago that he texted her telling her he dated someone for 3 months (he texted her that after our date) . While I’m sure that was true, I could tell the mutual “friend” deliberately told me for effect because I think she’s jealous that he truly liked me when we were dating. I can tell he’s also had her ask for him if I was dating or seeing anyone. Short answer is yes he’s dating other girls. But he still keeps coming back to me. And I still want him back even if he was dating others, I have dated too although not as long as 3 months Technically he didn’t cheat. Weve been on a prolonged NC, although he did “like” a picture recently I posted on FB. I am not ready to give up. It’s hard for me to date others as I’m still in love with him. What else can I do? What can I do to get him back?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 22, 2016 at 9:46 am

      ok.. that’s good that it’s just once… Take it slow when he reconnects. So, that he’ll take you more seriously.. Continue on the activities you started nc and then slowly, slowly build rapport with him. Don’t sleep with him when he starts to initiate that during the first date.. texting first, then calls and then meet ups.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 5:57 am

      HI Cara,

      sorry for the late reply.. But I just want to understand, why do you want him back even if he was rude to you and do you have an idea if he’s dating other girls?

  19. Stephany

    June 10, 2016 at 8:00 pm

    Hi

    My BF of one year cheated on me, I saw the girl In his apartment and heard her talking to him, when I knocked on the door he kicked me out and wouldn’t let me in. I Told him what I saw and what I heard but he denies it. He saids that he has never cheated on me. We broke up when I told him that if he didn’t apologized and explained to me why it happened, I couldn’t move forward with the relationship, I do want him back but I can’t give him another chance if he is not honest with me. I implemented your no contact rule , for the first five days he texted me to tell me how he was doing and that one day only to tell me he missed me. I didn’t hear from him for 9 days and today he texted me ” thank you for trying and for helping me with everything” I don’t know what this means and why he is texting me this. We had a really good relationship and he always told me I made him the happiest he has ever been, he suffers from depression and that day he cheated he was having one of his episodes. We always had sex, I was always caring, supportive, attentive, I have him his space and respected his privacy. Honestly I can say that I gave it 100% and for the most part I was an amazing gf to him. I don’t know why he texted me today that but i am sticking to my guns and not texting him back until he apologizes for what he did. Am I doing the right thing here or do you think this is a loss cause and he won’t come back, we are not friends on FB so I can’t really make him jealous that way. What’s your advice? Thank you

    1. Stephany

      June 21, 2016 at 7:27 pm

      Hi he also send me a FB request on Sat if I accept is this breaking the NC rule? Thank you

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 22, 2016 at 7:55 am

      yup..it’s better to accept once you’re done in nc

    3. Stephany

      June 11, 2016 at 7:21 pm

      He texted me today asking for a favor at 4;00 am in the morning, he needed me to take him to his work. I didn’t reply and the last text I got from him was that he was fired because he didn’t have a ride. He asked me to please help him but again I didn’t respond. Again no apology for what he has done and I hadn’t heard from him in 10 days. I am so confused.

  20. Leah

    June 10, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    Hi there, I broke up with my ex in February and we had a bad break up. Since then we’ve become good friends though, even with me being in a relationship with someone for 3 months and then breaking it off due to my feelings for my ex still. We’ve both admitted that we still have feelings for each other but every time we talk about things it get’s way too emotional and it’s like we take a step backwards. I’m still in love with him and I want him back but he’s hurt and I don’t know what to do.
    Should I implement the no contact rule and see where it takes me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 16, 2016 at 7:43 am

      Hi Leah,

      yeah, you could tell him you both need space and then do nc

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