The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Strategy That Works On Your Ex

6,800 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

Jessica

July 18, 2016 at 12:32 pm

So update, 7 days no contact (yesterday) and he texted me “hey, just been thinking about you. Hope all is well.” I’m scared if I don’t respond he is gonna think I don’t want to fix the relationship. Which I do. I didn’t expect him to text at all and planned on having to be the one to reestablish contact.
J

July 18, 2016 at 12:16 pm

I broke it off with my boyfriend of 1.8 years, yesterday. Since the beginning, I have accepted some life situations that were challenging- caring for ill ex-girlfriend with cancer, female friends, etc. But our relationship was great, we had good times together, he even said yesterday that I was the best girlfriend ever, we really were compatible on many levels. The problem is that my feelings were well beyond his. We had a talk and he said all of the great things about US, great things about me, but he doesn’t feel “that thing” if he did he would be making serious plans, but it’s not there even though he cares about me. We were together constantly, I was at his house everyday and met all of his family. Because I was unsure of his love for me I was insecure and he knew it. Yesterday he said it was unfair because he couldn’t give me what I need. I gave him his key back and took my belongings and left on a good but sad note. Even though I initiated it, I asked if we could just try, but by then it was done. He said we had turned the corner. He said we should take a couple of days and then talk about it. As I left I told him that I don’t want the breakup and the decision is on him. I am going NC. How should I handle this?

MV

July 19, 2016 at 11:48 pm

I don’t know if I should say anything, but I think he could be reacting to feeling a bit “pushed.” It seems guys often get scared when a girl shows that she truly loves them, cause they worry they can’t match that feeling or that they don’t deserve it. NC will give him time to figure out if he’s really happier alone or if he actually misses you. There’s no guarantee he’ll want to get back together. But if he does, taking care of yourself now, during NC, can help you have a better relationship in the future. Good luck!
J

July 19, 2016 at 9:02 pm

So you believe this is a permanent breakup with no hope of revival?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 12:10 pm

I think he will realy break up with you but that doesn’t mean there’s no chance of getting him back later on..that’s why you need to do no contact
J

July 18, 2016 at 12:18 pm

I didn’t tell him that I’m going NC.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 7:18 pm

Hi J,

basically it looks he’s just extending the suffering but in the end he will still beeak up with you..sorry of I’m negative but that’s what it really looks like.. start the no contact after that meet but for now don’t contact him too.. use this time to start or practice being in no contact.. meet a friend, read a book, research classes you can join, or join groups of similar interests that meet up every now and then..

during the talk, if he does break up with you, agree and be calm and then tell him you understand and that you’re going to take time off for yourself and then do no contact

Mya

July 18, 2016 at 2:04 am

I’m on my third week of NC. I have been actively improving myself and I love it. I still do want my ex back. What I’ve been thinking about is the idea of a set certain amount of days I’m supposed to ignore him for. I mean every relationship is different. How can 30 days make it that much better for us having a chance to be together again? Why not 28 days? Why not 23 days? What’s exactly the difference? I believe in whatever happens, will happen.

I mean if I were to break NC earlier than 30 days, let’s say 25 days? Does that mean I have a lesser chance now to reconciliation? Please correct me, but let’s say I did end NC after 25 days and I followed all the rules for building repor. I text him the way I should, lead up to the phone calls and have the 3 dates…shouldn’t that end in the same fashion if I were to do a strict 30 days? Going back to the idea, “if it will happen, it will happen.”

Another thing, I do understand if I were to reach out to him and he’s not responsive then yes I’ll have to wait a few days. I just feel like that could happen at day 31 too, day 45. I’m just having a hard time seeing that 30 days is the magic number where my chances will be better than let’s say 25

Mya

July 18, 2016 at 2:09 am

Not trying to rush the process. Just trying to see what’s wrong with a different amount of days than 30. And our relationship ended mutually. I have been VERY active in my life. Exercising, going out with friends, new job. The whole nine.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 4:57 pm

Hi Mya,

It’s not a hard rule.. some even do 35 days.. it depends on every situation but comparing 21 days to 30 is 9 days apart.. more than a week.. you can build more… you can do a lot in 5 days too but if you feel very confident during day 25, that’s ok

Help

July 17, 2016 at 3:14 pm

Will the NC rule help with an ex that wants to stay friends and really want to get back together in the future. We broke up on a mutual agreement.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 17, 2016 at 4:44 pm

in your case, he will simply friendzone you if you keep talking to him now because he’s still going to the army.. don’t rush things.. if you do a month of nc, you’ll habe 4 months to rebuild rapport and increase attraction but that doesn’t mean he will get back to you surely after 4 months because the real issue is the distance when he’s in the army.. you’re just going to use this time to make him miss you when he’s gone..

if you keep being friends now, and you didn’t improve, he will still see the old you and the old problems that he sees that will probably happen while he’s in the army..

I understand that you want to keep him in your hands right now in the hope to maybe build more rapport now but if you’re not changing and if he’s not seeing you as somebody that can leave if not taken care of, then he will keep playing safe..

to ease your worries, tell him you need time alone for yourself now to heal… and then when you’re ready to be friends again, you’ll reach out to him..

don’t tell him that you’re going to do a month of nc.. and then be very active in starting a new routine during nc to improve yourself, be active in social media too and then continue those activities even after nc

Sara

July 17, 2016 at 1:17 pm

Hi! My boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. We were completely happy. We very rarely fought. We were planning a future together. Our relationship really was good, we were best friends and did everything together. We met and started dating and 4 month in I moved out of state. We maintained a long distance for about a year, and then he decided to move to be with me. We were so happy. But he ended up having a hard time finding a job. Due to this he fell behind on his bills and wasn’t able to care for his son from another relationship. We decided that we were going to move back home because that was the best solution for our future together. He went at the end of May and the plan was I would move by September. I planned a vacation to go up and see him. Well on July 3, after having normal conversations and no sign of difficulties, he went dark for a week. No calls, texts just a random email. He finally did reach out, via email, stating he would not be able to be with me for the vacation I had planned due to his son visiting and that he needed to fix his life so it was over between us. I went a little crazy and called texted and emailed like crazy…..who breaks up over email after over 2 years in a relationship? He said he loves me and I am amazing but he has to fix the mess that moving made his life. I get that. But why would he shut me out. I told him I just wanted to support him and be there for him. SO I started the NC rule today. But I’m wondering if you can shed any insight into this. We did not have a fight. No difficulties. We had a great relationship and I am having a really hard time with this.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2016 at 6:17 pm

Hi Sara,

It looks like he wasn’t really happy when he moved closer to you and maybe he associated that with you and now he just wants a restart with his life

Linda

July 17, 2016 at 7:20 am

I proke up with my boyfriend we have been realtionship for six years and he doesn’t talk recently our future when I asked him he set a date but he forget he always think his family so I took no contact rule we didn’t talk 33 days and I really miss him did you think that he going to miss me and he going to ask me married
Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2016 at 4:39 pm

Hi linda,

it depends on what you do during no contact.. in how much you have improved.. how old are you and him? and why did you break up with him?

Mia

July 16, 2016 at 5:08 pm

Hi Amor,

It’s me again. I had written before asking what should I do about my bf pushing me away since he wanted to stand up on his feet. You had asked me to let him be if I wanted a chance with him.
I was wondering does that mean the no contact won’t work for us?! Should I leave him be indefinitely?!
Also today I accidentally called via whatsapp. I actually wanted to view his display picture but I hit the call button and I swear it was totally by mistake. I cut the call immediately but I guess it went through as he msgd asking me almost immediately whether I called him and that it the call doesn’t connect so it’s no use calling via whatsapp. I didn’t reply to him as of yet. Should I explain to him it was a mistake?! Or should I just let it go and wait for the NCP to get done?!

Thanks a to.

Mia

July 19, 2016 at 2:31 pm

Hi Amor,

Firstly, I want to sincerely apologize for being a pest that I am currently being. But I really do need some insight.

I told you I was 2 weeks in doing the no contact. But I really messed up yesterday I think. The thing is my bf is actually not in the same place as I am in. He left the country last year as he had some visa issues and told me he would work on coming back. Hence we were in long distance for about 7 months out of the 7 years. But I told you what had happened, he being unemployed and everything. Before we stopped talking, he had informed me that he would be back in July. I recently came to know via his sister that they were back in town but he delayed his return. He got his visa but planned on not coming back. This really got to me and I texted him asking what his plans were and why he wasn’t returning. We had planned to discuss our situation when he would return. So naturally I was really upset.
When I texted him he first ignored my texts. I asked him to at least tell me whether or not he was coming back. Because I thought if he wasn’t then it was no point of us being together. He didn’t reply so I texted him again when I saw him online on whatsapp. He replied saying what did I want and what did I want him to say. He told me he already told me to move on. He wasn’t coming anytime soon as he had some business to take care of. He was really mean to me so I asked him to speak to me nicely rather than being rude. But he continued to talk rudely and I got really upset and angry. I told him he didn’t have shame and he said he didn’t. It made me so upset that I told him I was done with him and it wasn’t worth talking to him anymore. I told him I was done and blocked him from whatsapp as well as snapchat (the only two social media he uses). I really regret my actions because I really want him back. But the way he spoke to me hurt me. And it felt like the right thing to do. I thought of restarting the NCP. I am really worried that this will backfire. Will it be worth it to unblock him after the NCP and try speaking to him again?!

Thank you so much for your patience with me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 21, 2016 at 9:27 am

it’s ok to comment as many as you like.. we understand.. don’t demand.. coz in his mind, you’re just chasing him and it’s annoying him.. yes, restart nc and this time.. finish it and really establish that you have your own life..when you do, it’s ok to.unblock him
Mia

July 16, 2016 at 11:12 pm

I am two weeks in with NC. Haven’t spoken to him at all. Just the mishap that happened today with the call. I didn’t respond to his msg as well. I will continue the NC. Will see how it goes.

Thank you so much for the guidance. It means a lot!
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 16, 2016 at 9:43 pm

hi Mia,

sorry it wasn’t a clear instruction.. I meant let him be and do active no contact..focus in improving yourself while giving him space..if you haven’t started building new routine, you can restart the count for no contact

sam

July 15, 2016 at 6:56 am

Hi! I wanted to say that I GOT MY EX BOYFRIEND BACK. Yes and I’m so happy I read every single article in this website since we brokeup desperate to get my ex boyfriend back haha. I actually didnt even by the ebook not because i dont want to its because its not available in my country I know it sucks but I want to tell you that this website help me a lot in not being emotional and learn many things at same time i wanna say that the NO CONTACT RULE works I SWEAR TO GOD it works I started NC July 1. I actually went to my boyfriend begged and pleaded to him to comeback june 30 and obviously he pushed me away and said he doesnt have feelings for me anymore later that day i found this website and i came across the NC rule I initiate in July 1 and just yesterday july 14 my boyfriend texted me and begging me to come back he even texted my friends and begged them to talk to me. he even called me 15 times obviously i did not answer. IN JUST TWO WEEKS I GOT HIM BACK later that night he sent me very long text message saying that being away from me hurts and he misses me, HE WANTS ME BACK, he misses everything and he said that being away for me made him realize my value and worth. we are so happy we’re back together now and we’re gonna see each other next week So for those who is currently in NC dont lose hope continue it let your ex boyfriends realize what they’re missing out on. dont ever chase them especially if they are the ones who broke up with you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 6:14 pm

Congrats Sam! 🙂 Thank you for encouraging others!

Gwen

July 14, 2016 at 9:07 am

Hello,

I’ve been doing the NC but I followed the advices of another website where it tells that if your ex contacts and you don’t want to be rude, you can answer during NC but being distant and not amicable, not talking about personal things, and keeping the conversations very short. So I’ve been doing it. I’ve been following the advices of this website too, and as here NC rule is explained as a more serious thing, yesterday, when my ex texted me I didn’t answer at all. However, now I don’t think I did right, because as I’ve been answering, (avoiding him yes, but not ignoring him completely), I don’t know if the next time I write he’s going to be nice with me (my ex is very stubborn and mean sometimes). Also, I don’t know if I should just write normally, with the text I’ve been planing to use after the NC period. I don’t know if that’s a good idea, or if it’s better answering him today saying I was busy yesterday, but then, as I’ve been doing lately, end the conversation very quickly. Anyway, I was planing to end the NC period today or next monday, but as he wrote I decided next monday. Now I’m not sure of anything. What should I do?

Gwen

July 17, 2016 at 10:19 am

Hi Amor,

I wrote him to clear things before starting NC again, and this time I’m going to follow it strictly. He told me he has been thinking about everything but he has many problems and didn’t tell me anything yet so he didn’t mess things up. He told me I’m one of the most important things he has to think in his life. But well, as he wasn’t sure of anything, I just told him I need time, he agreed, and told me to write when I want, that he understands I need time. So just that, I’ll do it one month and while that I’ll think about everything more clearly, and I will improve myself as you say.
Thank you so much for the advice Amor, I will do full NC this time.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2016 at 5:15 pm

You’re welcome and enjoy this time.. you onky have a month to not worry about anyone else
Gwen

July 15, 2016 at 12:17 pm

Also, I don’t know if this is relevant or if it’s just me overanalyzing things, but these past two weeks he has been trying to write me with me avoiding him that way, he has changed his whatsapp pic many times, and when we were together he was with the same one for over 8 months. First when we argued he wrote “free” in his status, then two weeks later when he wrote me, he changed it just after writing me and wrote “…” Then when we were together I sent him a quote that says something about thinking and dreaming about the other one all the time. But I didn’t want to be paranoic so I decided to think he just liked that quote, but then, the next time he wrote me, he changed his profile pic again and put another quote I also sent him when we were together 🙁 That one says “I love you more than any fight we will ever have… I love you more than the distance between us… I love you the most” and we were in a distance relationship, although we saw each other in person, he just lives in another city, but the same country, and as that quote represented what I felt I sent it to him, now he has it as his profile picture. I was tempted to ask him why did he put it… But I didn’t want to start an argument again and I’m very confused so I didn’t ask him anything.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 15, 2016 at 6:32 pm

Hmm.. truth is, NC’s effect is less when done more and more over time.. because of course the guy picks up your pattern.. But I think you should still give it a shot at full nc of 30 days.. but you have to make it worth it by really improving yourself, going out and doing new things, meeting new people and going out with them.. basically having your own life.. to increase your chances of him seeing you in a new light and missing you
Gwen

July 15, 2016 at 12:01 pm

Well… I decided to end NC yesterday, and he answered and was very nice with me. I wanted to end the conversation first, but he did. Then he wrote again saying he was busy and couldn’t talk but then he could and we kept talking, so finally I ended the conversation, although it was a conversation in two parts, not as I had planned, because I had planned a short one.

Answering those questions:
It’s difficult to say because we weren’t in a formal relationship all the time, but being serious… about 5 months, and perhaps it was very fast, we talked a lot about our future even about living together.
He broke up with me because I noticed he was a bit changed and I started being paranoic and jealous all the time. It was an “it’s not you, it’s me” because he told me he wanted to be alone, he was very busy with his life and things had changed in the relationship.
I decided to do NC because we agreed to be friends, but then two weeks later I couldn’t help it and we argued through text. Then he didn’t write in two weeks, neither did I, and while I was waiting for him to text me those two weeks I decided to look for advice online, because I was very deppressed with the situation, I found about NC, and I decided to try it because honestly I’d really like being with him again.
My NC was interrupted as I said in the other comment, 15 days without talking at all, but then he wrote and I answered very coldly and ended the conversation with just two texts. Then I have been another 14 days more or less in NC, because I haven’t texted but he has texted me three more times, and all those times I answered the same way, saying I was busy, and ending it with just one or two texts. So, I suppose more or less a month, but not strictly because of that.
I’m going to try to follow a plan as this website teaches now that I’ve decided to end NC, I’m just afraid I haven’t done it correctly, I have many doubts.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 8:07 pm

Hi Gwen,

I think that’s because you’re following two rules, so it got confusing..
I have a lot of questions..
how long was your relationship? why did you breakup? why did you decide to do nc, how long was your nc and what did you do during it?

Angela

July 13, 2016 at 11:01 pm

Just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. We met online and the first six weeks were unreal. We are both in our 40s (I’m a divorcee of 20 years) He has been married twice and divorced twice and had a long term girlfriend he broke up with when he met me (and then cheated on me with when my father passed away) I was devastated and heart broken. My knight and shining armor turned into a creep. He works out of state, but is home on weekends. After a month, he asked me to come visit him and we got back together. He said he never loved any woman like he loved me. In the year to follow, we had some pretty bad fights. He physically abused me twice (saying both times were my fault) and once he was jailed for domestic battery while we were on vacation. I dropped the charges and I felt as if the event really brought us closer together (oddly as it sounds) We were great for awhile. Of course, he promised to get counseling (and never went) but I did and made attempts to be the perfect girlfriend he always would want. We talked on the phone several times a day and spent every weekend together…although there were a few arguments, nothing like the bad beginning ones. I did feel however I was walking on eggshells all the time and was insecure about why his phone was always locked up. We spent a week in Jamaica a year in and things seemed really great, but every once in awhile he turned on me. I’d do or say something wrong and he would flip out and turn away from me or deny me affection, which always made me beg for forgiveness. He eventually would give in and be okay again. We had a trip planned to Arizona two weeks ago (July 1) to visit his family and a concert planned for the Thursday before. June 6 was my b day and he spent the entire weekend catering to me. We went on bike rides and to the zoo, a baseball game and he got me a cake and lovebird charm. It was the most amazing weekend ever. Father’s day weekend however was terrible. We had an argument because he was away at work (mind you he calls me ten times a day or texts at least) and I hadn’t heard from him and he didn’t answer the phone. Then when I got a hold of him asked what the deal was he was slurring and said his phone died (which I knew it didn’t) I got mad and he blocked me from calling him. We fought all weekend and I begged him not to leave me (again) …we had the vacation coming up and the concert. Father’s Day was a HUGE SUCCESS… I busted my butt cooking catering and waiting on him and his entire family. His dad said for me to “hang in there”. My bf hugged me and said “I had redeemed myself” it was the best Father’s Day he ever had and thanked me for all my effort. Then, he kissed me goodbye for the week and told me he loved me. Monday he was distant; Tuesday, even worse; I was so angry and he screamed at me that he can’t always talk when he’s at work (but he wasn’t working…he was out to eat ..it was dinnertime and he ALWAYS CALLS AT DINNER TIME) He hung up on me angry and when I went to bed that night I called him to say good night and try to make amends (because it’s our ritual …no matter what time it is he says to call to say good night and he calls every morning at 6:25a.m. religiously) But this time he answered the phone rudely and accused me of checking up on him and hung up and no phone call the next morning….by Wednesday it was complete shut down. I went to his house and gathered all my belongings while he was at work. I left the key and took the concert tickets (which were bought for me) and sold them. He was furious when he got home. I also cancelled my flight to Arizona. I couldn’t take the back and forth any longer. He went to Arizona without me…I of course backed down and started to beg through texts again and he was foul and rude to me…even asked me to be friends with benefits ….I cried my eyes out. He went to Arizona and I went to Jamaica with my teenage sons …I texted him and called him every night I was gone ..he has me blocked. But, he recently made a facebook page..he never had facebook before ever and now he is posting pics I’ve taken of him over the last year (of course just of him) and he says they are for my enjoyment. I have blocked his number on all my phones and am blocking him on Facebook also. HELP I love him …and on my birthday weekend and the weekend after he said we’d be married and moved in together by December ….one week later I was history?!?! I am so confused and hurt….

Angela

July 18, 2016 at 8:45 pm

Thank you …you’re right.. I feel better hearing that it wasn’t me. Have a lot of healing to do I guess.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2016 at 8:59 pm

you’re welcome! Don’t rush it.. acknowledge what you feel but don’t linger in it
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 6:45 pm

Hi Angela,

don’t go back to him.. your insecurity clouds your judgment.. and maybe it’s also somethjng like stockholm syndrome..it’s when you hold on to the little good you see in your abuser and then defend them or think you love them..

think about how you would teach your two sons on how to properly treat a lady and what a healthy relationship would be like..

Jessica

July 13, 2016 at 6:57 pm

Do you think something longer than 30 day NC would be appropriate?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2016 at 4:25 pm

sorry I forgot to put I think you should 45 days

Little Bit

July 13, 2016 at 4:55 pm

Correction, he was on my flight two days ago haha

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 6:44 pm

yep you should..you didn’t break it becayse you didn’t talk

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 13, 2016 at 4:34 pm

Hi Jessica,

it was good that he acknowledged his mistakes..so, I think there is a chance..
Missy

July 11, 2016 at 11:10 pm

I’m trying to stick to the no contact rule right now and I’m finding it very dificult. Any advice on what i can do in the moment i want nothing more than to contact him? Any methods for dealing with the temptations so i don’t give in?

Missy

July 12, 2016 at 4:26 pm

Yes. I’m trying to get out and do things. I’ve been working out, going to job intervviews, cleaning and trying to keep busy. The problem is that I was with him for almost four years and I can’t do anything without being reminded of him. I’m fighting against contacting him tooth and nail because logically I understand its that best way to move forward and get him back, but the emotional side of me is constantly aching to call him. What can I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 7:11 pm

acknowledge that you’re feeling that feeling but remind yourself why it’s better not to..
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 1:58 pm

Hi Missy,

have you started being active?

Confused

July 11, 2016 at 1:00 pm

I’m going on vacation in a couple of weeks, and it coincides with the ending of my 30-day NC period. Would talking about the vacation be a good way to break the ice after the NC period? Mind you, the vacation was supposed to be one that we were going to take together. Didn’t know if it would cause a negative response or thoughts in his mind?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 12:54 pm

Hi Confused,

it depends on how you say it.. but it is a good topic

Selina

July 11, 2016 at 5:46 am

I accidentally broke the rule on day 29 when I found out that he is in a rebound (it’s been about 20-30 days since the end of our 8-month relationship). I had a friend ask him if he wanted certain items back. Could have seemed desperate because I would obviously be upset that he and his new girlfriend of a week have decided to vacation together as high school students… also learned that his new girl cheated on her ex of 2-years with him before they started dating (could be a lie though).

Should I message him tomorrow (he has me blocked but I have a means of contact) or should I wait another week or so? Don’t want to seem like I’m just messaging him because I’m upset about his new girlfriend.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 8:11 am

Hi Selina,

you didn’t break it because you didn’t instruct your friend to do it.. it’s better if you wait a week more because you’re right, he might think you’re just messaging because you knew about his new gf

S

July 8, 2016 at 9:21 pm

Hello, So I have been with this guy for 4 years now. Well, lets say we’ve been knowing each other for 4 years. We have had many good memories together.(Yes, we’ve done the do before) We also had our ups and downs in the past, but it was mostly because of him. (He has a big ego) To be honest, I’ve never done anything wrong. It was always him(Not playing the blame game, it’s just the truth.) There were plenty of times where he would say things that he didn’t mean, he would disappear for a while, then come back. He had these stages where he would play games, such as block me, or unfriend me, then come back. I feel like he’s done this because he knew that no matter how many times he did me wrong, I would always take him back. So last year, I sent him a big message telling him how I felt(It wasn’t negative or anything) it was just about how I was always there for him, his disrespect towards me, etc. So, he sends a message back(His big ego) So when he sent his, I didn’t reply or anything, because long as he knew how I felt, thats all that really matters, it’ll put something on his mind basically. So 3 months pass by, and I always talk to my aunti about everything, so I call her one night, asking her if I should call him, to get closure on where we stand together, and she said yes, I should. So I call him, and we talk, I ask him where we stood together, he says he doesn’t know, and so forth.(His big ego once again) So when he gets done talking, there wasn’t much more for me to say, so I just said,” Okay,bye.” And that was the last time we spoke to each other(So far) So, I call my aunti, tell her everything, she tells me not to worry about it he just has a big ego, at least you’re putting something on his mind, and so forth. So, I used to check his social media accounts(Typical) and all of a sudden, he starts dating a girl that he dated 2 years ago again! (This year)So, you know I talked to my aunti about it, she says that it won’t last long, and they’re just doing that because they’re both lonely, etc. I don’t have him on any sm but I can still see what he’s doing. So, I learned about rebound relationships, and how it’s your ex’s way of using another girl to fill in the empty spot that you were once in, to help him get over the pain of the breakup, etc. I also read that in rebounds, usually after 6 months the honeymoon stage(where they act all lovey dovey) starts to fade away. I also found out that when your ex is in a rebound, they usually post pictures of him and his rebound on social media, because he knows I will see it.(P.S. he’s never been the type of guy to post any pictures with a girl/or of a girl on social media, then all of a sudden he does!Then ding! It rung a bell in my head that it’s just a rebound. It also says that when your ex does this, they are not over you. I see her tag him in relationship quotes, photos, on facebook(He always likes every tag she tags him in) (sometimes it bothers me)(I try to stay off and not let it get to me)( I’m a beautiful girl, and I’m not the jealous type, I’m just not used to seeing him with someone else, It always just been me and him). It’s just weird how all of a sudden he wants to start dating a girl that he dated back in 2014(temporarily). It’s like, the more I see it, the more it makes me believe that when he does come back, I won’t really be attracted to him that much.( Cause of what he’s done, what he’s doing) It has been 7 months since we last spoke. My questions are, 1.Why is he doing this? 2.will he eventually realize what he lost?( He lost a good thing)3. And how long will his rebound actually last? 4. And what is the best thing to say to him when he does come back?

S

July 10, 2016 at 8:42 pm

Also, how does can The Ungettable Girl article help me with my situation?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 9:28 pm

you have to aim to be the ungettable girl
S

July 9, 2016 at 8:03 pm

Seems they’ve been dating for 2 months now?.. Yes, he does show signs that it was just fwb. What’s the best thing to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 10, 2016 at 5:13 pm

ok, but he hasn’t contacted you for 7 months? so they’re not really going out for 7 months?
Ok, first, you have to really focus on yourself first and not repeat what happened.. don’t ever sleep with him again unless you’re really together.. so before you talk to him, I think you need to read this first: The Ungettable Girl
S

July 9, 2016 at 4:18 pm

Well, it was more of one those relationships well we aren’t exactly dating.. but we still broke up. Our little bond/relationship last for 4 years.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 6:40 pm

I have to be honest with you.. if you slept with him but you’re not official and he had a real official gf during those 4 years, then that makes you friends with benefits.. if he avoided you first before they got back and he didn’t reach out while they’re still together, and after 7 months they’re still together, then it’s less likely a rebound..
Are they exclusive? because if yes, then that means, it’s not his ego, he just doesn’t want to make a commitment with you.. I hate to say it but I have to or you’ll end up having the wrong view about him again and then you’ll be fwb again…
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 12:32 pm

Hi S,

you knew each other for 4 years but how long was your relationship?

Little Bit

July 8, 2016 at 8:58 pm

Hi! I started the NC rule on July 1st. My ex text me on July 4th & we ended up arguing. It was pretty bad 🙁 I should not have responded to his initial text. I have not contacted him or heard from him since. Should I continue with the NC rule? Do I still have a chance?

Thank you 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 12:24 pm

Hi Little Bit,

restart the count after the fight.. nc is for you to heal too.. it’s not just stopping to talk with him… the most important part is that you improve yourself

Scared

July 8, 2016 at 2:06 pm

I’m about to end my first week of NC but I’m a little worried. I know during this time it’s about improving myself and I have been actively doing that. And I say it’s been great so far. But I just can’t help the fact my ex hasn’t text me in several days. And he was actively liking my fb posts but he hasn’t in a few days. Silly, I know, but I’m thinking maybe he’s on to me? Or maybe since I haven’t been responding he figures to cool down on the contact? I have no clue why I’m so worried. But I will continue improving myself.

Scared

July 12, 2016 at 3:53 pm

Just wanted to add (it’s probably not important) since he never was active on fb he only had posted maybe 6-7 pics of us and/or activities we have done together in our 3 yr relationship. I just wanted to say that because I know some people say maybe he doesn’t have the time to take all those pics down. But it’s only 7 max. And he never posted pics in general so they are the most “recent” besides the pics he’s posting now since our breakup of his activities, which is just one thing.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 6:37 pm

that’s actually a good sign..because it can mean he’s checking your account more.. and it might be better if your friend kept quiet but nc is only broken if you talk to your ex
Scared

July 12, 2016 at 1:26 pm

So I’m on my 2nd week of NC and I’ve been keeping up with improving myself. I’ve been going out with friends more, keeping up with eating right and exercising. Going to add some more in a bit. Just the other day I felt like my friend “violated” my NC. She doesn’t know the set rules I have but I did tell her not to update me on my ex. But she had told me that he changed his fb profile around. He updated his profile pic, cover pic and relationship status to single. But he still has all the pics of him and I still up. The thing is, he was never that active on fb until April of this year but seems to be even more active this month. Our breakup happened late June. Plus he was liking my posts but stopped after I wasn’t responding to his texts. Plus my posts have been fun and exciting. I still know I need to focus on myself and not worry about him at all but I feel like my friend threw me off when she told me that. Not sure if it’s a good sign if he has updated those parts of his fb, is even more active on fb but hasn’t bothered to delete the pics? It seems he went out his way to do everything else.
S

July 8, 2016 at 10:10 pm

I recently just made a post today.. was it deleted?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 12:33 pm

oh sorry s. nope it wasn’t I just haven’t reached it yet
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 8, 2016 at 5:02 pm

hi Scared,

it’s ok to be scared..if he likes your posts that means there’s a greater chance he will reply

Anne

July 8, 2016 at 12:27 am

I recently entered no contact with my ex-boyfriend. I am on day 10. It was his choice to ends things as he felt our relationship had entered a coasting zone. I was willing to address the issues. He decided, despite, him saying he loved me, that he needed to split. Today,i received a text from him asking about a medical appointment I am preparing to have and the results. No, it isn’t a pregnancy test. Do I respond?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 8, 2016 at 1:00 pm

Hi Anne,

nope..

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