The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Strategy That Works On Your Ex

6,803 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

Ali

June 17, 2017 at 10:44 am

Hello Amor,
Please, I need your help. I dated my ex for 2 months in the Fall (September- beginning of November), but we knew each other from June 2016. We used to get along with each other very well on emotional level. We both admitted that we have never met anyone who would match so perfectly. Everything was great till one night when we were together and looked at each other and feeling that there is something going on, I mean, we both felt like we are quickly moving towards something bigger and more meaningful in our relationship. After that night he became extremely distant and stopped to reply to my texts for hours/1-2 days. And at work he avoided me. I tried to implement NC rule, but my max was one week, then I texted him to meet or asking what was going on. He said that he was extremely busy and promised to meet but never did, that lasted for one month, till December, when I gave up, became super angry and texted that we break up, (we could not meet even to break up as normal people) he said that he wanted to have with me good time as much as we can but nothing serious. So I said that he is weak if he is afraid of something serious even when he admitted that we should be together and said him not to contact me. Now I know he is commitment phobe, but also I feel like he used me emotionally to boost his self esteem, because he always told how beautiful I am and was extremely jealous at events, work, when any guy approached me, and he is also very handsome man.
So I decided that it was a game for him, then he is not for me and we both did not text, reach out each for like 6-7 months until we were assigned to work with each other with 5 more people in a team. After the first day, in the evening he texted me and asked me to look at him and talk to him during meetings. I promised to try, he said that very appreciates it, so we continued to chat, but after a few messages I got into situation when I said that still have feelings to him and wish we could work out, he said that he has been dating someone else, but still cares about me and when I said that I’m moving to another city, so we will never meet, he asked where I’m moving I named the city and to my surprise he is already living there and said that then “we will surely meet”. I did not get all these mixed signal, got angry and he said that he wants to be friends, I said, no friendship, because I don’t to be friend zoned. So basically we still work with each other in one team but it’s very awkward because I’m trying to seduce him, but see no reaction from him besides past text when he said that I’m “very beautiful and awesome person”. So after 2 weeks of no contact, last week I texted him that agree to be friends because I really decided to move on, but he did not respond within 2 days, it was weekend, so on Sunday night I deleted him from FB friends list and in the Monday morning got a message that he was sorry for late reply and really happy that I refought the whole thing and want to stay in touch with him from time to time to chat. But I decide not to reply, so basically now I feel that situation in my control, because I did not reply and he doesn’t know what is going on in my head.
I need advice on the whole situation, does this seems to work out at the end?
Shall I reply after a week of no response? or text in 45 days?
What kind of strategy could be implemented to get him back? Nothing works…
Am I emotional masochist? 🙂 I really felt very good until this team work and managed to stay so close to him.

Ali

June 20, 2017 at 10:38 am

Thanks, I’ve read this article some days ago. However, I decided to move on, he is not the Sun to revolve around him no matter how much I like him. 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 20, 2017 at 7:37 pm

Ok Ali, that’s good..
Ali

June 20, 2017 at 10:38 am

Thanks, I’ve read this article some days ago. However, I decided to move on, he is not the Sun to revolve around him no matter how I like him. 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 19, 2017 at 6:52 pm

check tĥe link below and do atleast 45 daŷs nc:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Lucy

June 16, 2017 at 7:23 pm

When should the NC rule start. My bf broke up with me 1 1/2 months ago, we have spoke over the phone regarding our relationship a week ago. Should it start from that day?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2017 at 7:04 pm

you need to restart the nc immediately

Elizabeth

June 16, 2017 at 5:11 am

Almost 3 months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me after an almost 3 year relationship with no previous breakups. I started the no contact rule, and after 5 weeks or so, we started communicating again, and even met several times. It reached a point where we were being affectionate and loving, and talked about out relationship, though no concrete decisions about our relationship was made. He has suddenly gone cold in the last 2 weeks and claims it to be him being “busy”. I started the no contact rule, is 30 days enough? Should I wait for him to reach out, or should I? And how can I bring it to the point where he makes a decision about the relationship, rather than just him being hot and cold? Thank you

Elizabeth

June 25, 2017 at 10:11 am

I built rapport with him for maybe 2-3 weeks. He reached out to me a week ago and was very sweet and kind, but still has not made up his mind about the relationship. He says he doesn’t know what he wants, and wants to be in communication with me, but nothing serious, despite the fact that we are flirtatious and affectionate with each other, and talk a lot of the time. He says I can “do as I please” even though he will stay single and not date. I am very confused on how to go about this. I want to wait for him to decide, but i don’t think i can. especially if it’ll just end with him saying for us to both move on.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2017 at 6:00 am

If you think it’s time to move on now, that’s ok.. If not, set a limit on until when you’ll build rapport
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2017 at 7:42 pm

after the first nc, how long were you building rapport?

Ra

June 15, 2017 at 1:09 pm

Hi Amor,

I am writing after my ex broke up with me a couple days ago, we dated for almost 2 years. He said he couldn’t handle my personality and the repeated cycles anymore. He said that he never saw me put in effort to change things he brought up, but he did try even if it wasn’t the lost successful. He says I hurt him too much and he doesn’t feel I appreciated him during the relationship. Yesterday he took down our pictures on Facebook and I had messaged him asking if we could discuss the root cause of the problems as I have been doing some self reflection, he said he would always be open to talk about the root cause but it doesn’t change how he feels and felt. We talked on the phone for an hour where I apologized for not having addressed his concerns properly and that I am really willing to put my foot down and commit to these changes. He told me it doesn’t matter what I do now and he hopes I can respect his decision. I would also like to add I see him a couple times a week as he helps tutor me for a couple courses, he had offered to continue helping me even after the breakup. I am trying to do limited contact as school is also a priority in my life I decided to accept his offer, I felt there was no reason to not accept help even if it is pity from him, I would rather not lose both the relationship and my marks. I’m not too sure if this is the right decision though if he sees me a couples times a week, he would not miss me then? I do genuinely want to reconcile this relationship but we still communicate over messages about when to meet up for the help sessions. I understand that is breaking the no contact rule, I would like to know what you recommend. Thanks!
p.s I notice when he sees me he is very unhappy and has never smiled. He acts courteous but looks upset and maybe even annoyed.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2017 at 1:33 pm

if you only talk about that and not feelings nor the relationship, that’s ok.. as long as you’re active in other activities and be active in posting too

Kiran

June 15, 2017 at 10:15 am

Me and my boyfriend broke up 12 days ago.He said that he needs time to be alone and doesnt want to be in any kind of relationship.He said that it is nothing wrong with you.Yesterday we met because of some issues and first he had that perception and he thought that I was calling him to ask him to get back together whilst the reason was very different.And cleared him and he was happy that I don’t have that on my mind.He said that if I call him anyday he will talk to me noramlly as a friend.Actually,he is a bit depressed about his future and doesnt want to give time on relationship.But,I have been clingy back in times.I asked him for a month gap and he agreed and said we will talk about that later because in 1 month,many things can be changed.But if I will keep on calling then he won’t mind to pick up but this way there is no chance for talking about it.He has politely agreed but he asked me not to keep big hopes because we cannot predict anything right now but as for now he cannot think to be in any relationship.We were together for 5 and half months.He had a strong feelings for me from the beginning.We were in 3 months long distance relationship.We used to fight but immediately make up as well.I am afraid that he will forget me and won’t miss me at all and will not want to get back with me.I don’t want to lose him.I was in no contact before but I broke it thrice.But now I just cannot go back to him.But doubts are making me lose my mind.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2017 at 6:31 am

are you going to stick to no contact rule now and do it properly?

Kiran

June 15, 2017 at 1:09 am

Me and my boyfriend broke up 13 days ago.He said that he doesnt want to be in any relationship and he needs time alone.He said that it is completely over for him and he asked me to move on.I decided to NC on him but failed.Yesterday,we met because of some issues and he said we are ending on a good note.When I asked about staying in 1 month gap and see what happens next and he agreed and said for that to happen I have to give him space.Though it is not completely guaranteed because he is a bit depressed about his career.And he doesnt want to focus on a relationship.but still back of his mind,I am a bit desperate.He also said that he doesnt mind talking noramlly and just being friends with me but if this will happen daily then he warned me not to talk about relationship stuffs.We were together for 5 and half months but even before getting in a relationship,he had strong feelings for me.But I didn’t give him his space.though he says his main problem is focusin on a relationship.we had memories and good chemistry together.I am scared if he will forget me and will not try to get back with me.He isnt sad at all about the break up..Infact,he seems very happy.I think he will not miss me at all.Though he said he will talk about relationship after1 month.What should I do?

Kiran

June 18, 2017 at 8:36 am

Yes,I am on 4th day of my NC.Though I miss him desperately.I want to improve and going back to him will change nothing and only lessen my chances to get back to him.His main problem is me not giving him his spcae and plus he is depressed these days.But,I want to work on myself and want to work harder to put myself together.My instinct tell me that if I do this properly,I will possibly get him back.I also want to learn to be happy without him.Now,I am being a bit logical and emotionally recovering.Past days,I spent time with my family and went to some few new places.Though he still was on my mind.And I am planning to get in shape from tomorrow as today I am not fine because of my periods.I was a bit chubby before but he wanted me to lose some weight because for my own good and wanted me to be healthy and was proud of me.i am still a bit chubby so I am thinking to lose some weight to be in a proper form and start focusing on my studies and start making some friends.But do you think I have any chances?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 21, 2017 at 2:59 pm

you have to do it for yourself.. not for him.. improve and keep growing for yourself, if you can do that, then yes you have a higher chance. Aim to be the ungettable girl.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2017 at 6:31 am

are you going to stick to no contact rule now and do it properly?

Mari

June 11, 2017 at 4:39 am

My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago after almost 3 years together. He said he basically didn’t fall head over heels in love with me and that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. I have contacted him about our relationship after the break to get closure. If I text about random things he will respond but when I text him about relationship stuff he won’t respond or gets defensive. He said he does want to stay friends with me because he does care about me. I found out he is on an online dating site and I confronted him about it and he says it’s just for distraction and he is not looking for a relationship. A problem I have is we train together and he is my coach, I have been training when he’s not present which has actually been working but I will end up trying with him again, how can I do the NC even when we are around each other, we both have mutual friends so when have get together so we end up seeing each other. I am not over him and I want him back. Any advice would be great.

Mari

July 12, 2017 at 4:59 pm

Hello again, been trying to do the NC with my ex for a while now but it’s really hard when we are around each other constantly, we train together, there’s time where we even have very close contact during training, we do text regarding certain things about training, he never initiates the text though. Recently he did ask to borrow my laptop which he has used before when we were dating. How should I take this? I did end up asking him out for a drink and he did not say no he was just busy that day. Need some advice on this please?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 1:54 pm

If you’re in nc why did you ask him for a drink?
Lucy

June 17, 2017 at 2:31 pm

I contacted my ex after a week of NC, it was just a text and a question, he replied right away. Can I continue the NC or do I need to start all over? He is also on an online dating site and I’m afraid he might meet someone.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2017 at 7:04 pm

you need to restart the nc immediately
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2017 at 9:49 am

hi mari,

Check this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Theresa

June 10, 2017 at 5:46 pm

Good Afternoon,
I thought about purchasing your No Contact Book. My ex and I broke up a long time ago, but he wanted to maintain a friendship (that always resorted into benefits) and I hesitantly agreed. It has been extremely hard due to his up and down feelings. One day he’s admitting how he feels, why we can’t be together (he has a manipulative ex with children involved), the next he’s ignoring me and giving me no contact for 2 months. I don’t give into his ways any longer (for 2-3 years almost now). Almost a month ago (the 17th will be 1 month) I told him that I need some time and space. He is a guilt trip ex. He advised me he wouldn’t contact me until I was ready. I’m fine with this, I need time to get over our break-up, all his lies, broken promises, dealings with his up and down feelings. I want to feel better. I do miss him, but I can’t keep hoping that things will be okay between us when he is this way. (By the way, his birthday falls on the 17th, and I absolutely LOVE what you said about birthdays.) I feel like this situation would be longer than even 45 days to maintain no contact. Are 90 plus day no contacts worth it?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2017 at 9:00 am

i think that’s too long but if that’s what your gut tells you, go ahead since you’ve been back and forth with him for a long time now..dont stop improving yourself and doing the new routine you started during nc even after it, while slowly rebuilding rapport with him..

Tina

June 7, 2017 at 12:02 am

Hi,
My boyfriend and I broke up about 4 months ago but we kept talking. We agreed to try and work things out slowly and we met up a few times. But he thought about it and recently just told me he couldn’t do it anymore and we shouldn’t date. We are long distance and he said that was too hard and it cause too many arguments and stress. He said if we hung out or talked it would just be as friends. But he quickly changed his mind. He told me he still cared about me but couldn’t be with me. Should I initiate no contact and if so, for how long?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2017 at 3:23 pm

Yep, you should.. do at least 30 days.

Liz

June 6, 2017 at 11:47 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend and I broke up about 4 months ago but we kept talking. We agreed to try and work things out slowly and we met up a few times. But he thought about it and recently just told me he couldn’t do it anymore and we shouldn’t date. We are long distance and he said that was too hard and it cause too many arguments and stress. He said if we hung out or talked it would just be as friends, but then he quickly changed his mind. He told me he still cared about me but couldn’t be with me. Will no contact still work for me and if so should I do longer than 30 days?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2017 at 3:23 pm

Yep, you should.. do at least 30 days.

Maya

June 5, 2017 at 3:03 am

We broke up 3 weeks ago. Yesterday when he came to take his remaining things (we are living together for 3yrs and he moved to his mum’s), we had a final conversation. I asked for one last chance and apologized for my part. He said he wasn’t in love anymore and he can’t give this another chance.
4 years ago when we started our relationship he cheated on me and asked for a chance which I gave to him. Over the years he really tried to work on his mistake, but every time we had a fight that came out of my mouth as a grudge. We were looking for a house to buy together and get married this year. My parents demanded he converts to Islam and her mother, who is a religious Catholic, was hurt and defied this. I tried to solve this situation by a secular marriage but asked if he can pretend to convert when he goes overseas for the reception part. He didn’t say no. This year he was supposed to come meet my family overseas but he didn’t come. He met me for holidays in another country afterwards instead. We fought a lot during that trip and after 2 weeks of coming back to our place, he broke up and left.
He cried a lot during our last conversation, but he was more than sure that he can’t go back to this as it has become toxic. He mentioned it might have stemmed from me getting hurt from his actions and that he can’t think of getting married anymore. I told him I left my family for this but he was adamant and left.
What should I do now? Should I stop contacting him? I have to move out now and I am extremely lonely and depressed to even think about it and the economic burden it will cause me. Please help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 7, 2017 at 3:16 pm

Hi Maya,

if he already moved out, then just stay there.. the place is all yours right? are you going to do the no contact rule?

Shaughna Ainsworth

May 30, 2017 at 2:41 pm

Hello Chris,
I am in a very complicated relationship because the man that I fell in love with is an alcoholic. I held onto the idea that things were going to work out because he knows he is an alcoholic and he has had two stretches of sobriety in his life (one 7 years and one 11 years), so based on words, I believed he was going to get sober again. With all of this has come very self centered, attention seeking behaviour and so my heart keeps getting hurt. As of right now we are not officially over but we have been several times in the past. We have been together for 1.5 years and I love his intelligence, sense of humour and how he looks. My issue right now is because of his disease he is definitely not treating me how he should be and I think he is feeding other women in order to get his ego fed. I have decided to implement the 21 day no contact because I think this is the amount of time I could truly stick to. Do you have any advice for me? We are both 51 years old and I just want to be happy. I have lost 85lbs over the past 2 years and I am having a tummy tuck, thigh lift and arm lift done on June 16 and I think his more recent behaviour is based on his fear and insecurity around this…but its happening! I have a great job as a high school teacher (wealth) and I am moving forward with my self image (health) so I think I have those parts right.
Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you
Shaughna

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 30, 2017 at 8:08 pm

Hi Shaugna,

check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Love Bug

May 26, 2017 at 6:12 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend and I have been together now for 3 years we’ve broken up a couple times before.. the most serious being about ten months ago. I did the no contact rule with the help of you guys and got him back about three months after we broke up. We have been good ever since until recently I realised that he’s not texting or calling me as much anymore and he takes very long to reply to my messages even though he’s online (whatsapp) also we don’t go on dates as much either. I had a conversation with him about it yesterday so now I’m just looking for advice on how I should go forward to get the best outcome which would be him not taking me for granted and being complacent (that’s how he was acting the last time we broke up, which he initiated)

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2017 at 4:22 pm

check this one:
How Do I Prevent My Boyfriend From Ending Our Relationship

Amanda

May 26, 2017 at 6:57 am

Hi,

I was seeing a guy that I really liked for just over 3 months. I found out that he was on an online dating site and when I asked him he said he got scared as he really likes me and was concerned we were getting too serious too quickly. I really like this guy and want to see where things could go because I feel like there was an amazing connection. So after finding this out I asked for space and now am doing the no contact rule. Since he was never my boyfriend will this even work for me? If I choose to do it is 21 days better since we didnt really break anything up I just asked for space. I just think he needs some time to really see what he is missing out on and to miss me. We were hanging out 3 times a week for over 3 months and I even met his friends and family so the fact that he got scared is confusing.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2017 at 3:35 pm

even if you were in a relationship, it’s not a guarantee that nc will work. It will just increase you chances and yes, I agree that you should just do 21 days.

Charlotte

May 25, 2017 at 6:29 am

Hi Amor,
Realizing how desperate and needy I was to my ex, I took a step back to work on my emotions and did not contact him for 10 days, which was the longest period ever since we reconnected about 2 months ago. He did not contact me during those 10 days either.
Yesterday, I texted him 3 separate times about a funny story I encountered but no response. It’s pretty unlike him, usually he responds right away when I sent a 3rd text (being text gnat had its benefits sometimes :). I don’t know what to do. I am angry at myself for being clingy and emotional again. What should I do next?
I am wondering if he is mad at me or just doesn’t even care to respond.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2017 at 2:18 pm

that’s too short.. you should restart it.. do 45 days or at least 30.. and dont stop improving yourself while you’re slowly building rapport.

AZ

May 20, 2017 at 8:32 am

My bf and i had a big blow out a few months back and he said he needed space to consider the relationship. I did an accidental NC then for around 3 weeks as my mother was ill, he did not reach out. I texted him then to let him know the situation and he came back as my BF. i realized he did not see the big fight as a break up but i did.

Anyway, a few weeks later, things did not improve and being emotional, i broke up with him. I do regret being emotional then and i think he is very hurt by my action. I did not beg him. but i did ask if he can consider us together again, to which he replied he don’t know yet. So my questions are these:

1. Can i attempt another NC?
2. We are currently still keeping in touch via texts daily- so would it be shocking if i suddenly stop replying to his messages? i feel its rather weird telling him i need space since i broke up with him.

Thank you.

Az

May 24, 2017 at 2:10 pm

A friend of mine told me she noticed that he has been very active on online dating site. I should keep calm about it right?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 26, 2017 at 5:57 pm

it”s normal to feel sad or what about it, but if you mean, not fighting him and letting go to focus in you, yes, do that..
Az

May 22, 2017 at 1:31 am

Yes. Good point. Actually justifying why he should take me back.

Do NC then?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 24, 2017 at 1:24 pm

yup do nc, at least 30 days.. after it, take it slow in building rapport.. dont convince him to get back with you.. build rapport and attraction through texts first and then calls and then meet ups.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 21, 2017 at 7:07 pm

hmm.. what do you talk about in texts?

Anne Nadine

May 19, 2017 at 11:15 am

Hello.
This is my story: Long time ago (10-11 years ago) I met a guy. We were best friends and we used to talk a lot. He wanted a relationship with me but i didn’t accepted because I was too young (16 years old) and he was 27 years old. We used to talk from time to time. After some years I get married and I talked to him. I don’t know what I’ve said but he got upset without my notice and didn’t talked to me for years. I thought that he don’t talk with me anymore because I’m married now. Years have passed and my marriage got in a critical point. I and my man are just friends. Last year, after 5 years without speaking, I have resumed contact with him. He told me what happened and we solved the problems between us.
For few months we start to talk almost everyday and our discussions have become more and more intimate. I told him that I am scared to have another relationship and I don’t want to have sex without being in a relationship. He told me that he is serious and for him is not a problem that I’m still married. And also for him is not a problem to have a relationship with a divorced woman (after my divorce). We kept talking, to send one another sexy pictures and have a lot of talks abut sex. I forgot to say that between us are 2000 km, we live now in different countries.
In April I was home for vacation and we have met for the first time in 10 years. I was very happy to see him again. He kissed me and the feeling was amazing. We kept kissing for hours like was the last day of our lives. He also wanted to have sex with me but I told him is too soon. He took my hand and put it on his pants. I went into his game and I liked it. But that was all. Kisses and touches.
After few days we’ve met again and we went further….that means, after kisses he asked me if I can help him to have an orgasm. I wasn’t sure if I’m prepared but I went further because I liked him and I thought he like me also. So I did him oral sex…I felt a little bit embarrassed but he told me that it’s ok and we did not do anything wrong. After that evening he didn’t came to visit me again. He told me that was very busy with his job. My vacation was over and I fly back in the country I live now. We kept talking but not so much like before. I told him I want him in my life and I miss him every day, but he turns colder and colder every day. I started asking if I did something wrong or if I’m not good enough for him. I asked him a lot of questions but every time when I asked something about us or about A possible future he get angry. He told me that I’m too stressful and I rushed things. For 2 weeks I made all possible mistakes: I kept asking him for forgiveness, for another chance to make things right and slow as he wish, I asked him why and what he wants and if he wants to try again to have a normal relationship or be just friends like we used. He got angrier with every question I asked and gave me no answer at all. He also didn’t say anything when I asked him if he want me to live him alone. I send him a gift with an “Im sorry” note and he became even more angry. Now he keeps ignoring me. He did not even read my last messages asking for forgiveness. This is my third day of No contact rule. I want him back. What do you think, I have a chance to get him back? I miss him everyday, I miss our talks, I miss everything… What should I do to get him back? Thank you

Anne Nadine

May 24, 2017 at 7:11 am

HI Amor. Thank you for your answer. I apologized because I wanted to take all our mistakes over me. Today is the 8th day of NC… I’m still waiting for a sign from him but I don’t get anything. He still doesn’t seen my last Facebook message. He is active on Facebook, he comments and likes other girls photos, but it seems like he forgot about me at all and he feels so good.
I keep posting positive posts and photos on my profile but I don’t know if he saw them.
His life goes on while mine is awful without him. I’m getting more and more certain he will not contact me… It’s clear he’s already forgotten me. I don’t know what to do… I really want him back..
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 25, 2017 at 5:21 pm

dont wait.. be active in your own life.. put your energy in that.. take it as if he has moved on, and when he gets curious, because he will, would he think you are moving on?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2017 at 10:46 pm

why are you apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong? check this one:
The Ungettable Girl

Jubey

May 18, 2017 at 5:21 pm

I was only dating my guy for three months.

The first 2 months were great and all headed in the right direction, with sure Faith of investment and efforts in all the right places. But third month he started to pull away and show signs he was a commitment phobe and things really slowed down. We spoke and he said he wasnt ready for that kind of relationship that he knows i want…but still wanted me by his side (much less than the 2 first months). At this point it was too late…i already fell for him! So at the end of the third month I broke it off with him (2 days ago), stating that I wanted a more invested relation and not a casual, confusing “friendlationship”…and so I walked away. He has told me he doesn’t want to lose me and wants to keep seeing me. But I told him I am not interested in friendship, I’m looking for a relationship….so I can’t see him again. He’s sad and gutted of course and told me he can’t bare the thought of never seeing me again…but I told him I’m not settling for less than I want.

Would the no contact work in my case?

Ali

June 17, 2017 at 10:06 am

Damn, I acted as you, almost the same situation, but in my situation we did not reach out to each for 6-7 months until we were assigned into one team at College.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2017 at 10:07 pm

It’s not a guarantee but it has a high chance with you because I’m assuming it’s your first and it would put credibility in your words that you’re not settling for less.

Charlotte

May 15, 2017 at 8:28 pm

Last question Amor: do you think I still have a chance with him given the fact that I have been behaving very needy?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 16, 2017 at 6:57 pm

if you genuinely and continuously change, yes..

Charlotte

May 15, 2017 at 6:28 am

Thank you Amor for the wise words. I think I have been too clingy and desperate. When you say take it slow and building rapport, can you elaborate on that? He did not say out loud “I rather not keep in touch” like last time so if I do no contact, will that make him forget my presence? Having the right mindset is the key to getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2017 at 4:23 pm

taking it slow means, to start with texts first, and then calls and then later on meet ups.. don’t be emotional.. approach him like a stranger that doesn’t have feelings for you and that you’re trying to build friendship with. it doesn’t matter if he forgets you or not, what matters is how interesting you’ll be from now on.

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