The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Strategy That Works On Your Ex

6,800 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

totallyconfused

August 21, 2013 at 2:11 am

I had been dating this guy for around 4 and a half years. Started young, we were only 14 and 15. Lasted the first 2 and 1/2 together, then he cheated on me. We broke up shortly, he dumped me, then we got back together. Then 11 months later he broke up with me again. We had a huge blow out fight. I did the no contact rule for over a month last time, and it seemed to work. But when he came back I got right back with him. It was tough but we made it another 9 months together. Now we are broke up again. We broke up on July 19th, and I blocked his number and blocked him on facebook the next day after we had a face to face talk. I had it blocked and no contact I guess you could say 28 days. He texted a mutual friend of his/family member of mine, saying he needed her to tell me to unblock his number or something so he could talk to me. I told her no, that he could call my house phone. Within 5 minutes it rang. I didn’t answer. A half hour later he called twice again. I ended up talking to him on the phone, he said he missed me and still loved me. We casually talked and agreed that he would come over. At first I was stand offish. Wouldn’t look at him really and just was decent to him. Didn’t want him to think I was desperate. I made sure to look good, and he noticed. Told me I looked really good. Said how he missed me and told me he still loved me in person. He sat by me and was constantly trying to hold my hand, or be cute or sweet and caring in some sort of affection. I kept pushing it off. Then he kissed me, and I ended up unblocking his number and him on facebook. He asked me on a date for Friday, 5 days away, and I agreed. But that night we hung out again. He picked me up and he was saying how he still wanted to move in with me and said he believes we are supposed to be together because we always come back to each other and that when he kisses me he feels differenly. I know this could be him just being a typical guy. Even playing me really, but I believed it. So that night he dropped me off, he wanted me to stay with him but I said no. He told me he loved me and goodnight on the phone. The next morning I wake up to a long text saying how he is going to be completely honest with me and that he doesn’t want me anymore. His heart is somewhere else, which the day before he said there was no one else and loved me. He also said he is in love with someone else. I think he is really confused and doesn’t know what he wants. I wrote back to him that I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for him and that I deserve better, someone mature and caring. I need advice because I am sick and tired of being in this cycle of heartbreak. I blocked his number and him from facebook already, and haven’t spoken to him since. Please give me any advice you have. I still care even though part of me doesn’t want to. I just want honestly. Even if the truth hurts.

admin

August 21, 2013 at 5:07 am

So, I am kinda confused by your story. Are you already doing a NC and you have waited 28 days or was that a previous time.

(sorry I am really tired right now it is midnight and I have been at this for two hours.)
totallyconfused

August 21, 2013 at 3:18 pm

I did the no contact period for 28 days. Then he called me. So now I am restarting the no contact period over like you said to do. But as for anything else do you have any advice? I mean at all? Thoughts on our relationship or him would be appreciated.
admin

August 22, 2013 at 3:32 am

How did the call go? I mean you picked up right?

During NC you should probably look to keep evolving. Oh, and in case you are interested I came out with Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO today. You might want to check that out if you are interested.
totallyconfused

August 22, 2013 at 4:36 pm

Reread my long story. After the phone call I wrote what happened. We hung out. Reread that.
totallyconfused

August 21, 2013 at 1:02 pm

I did the no contact I lasted 28 days and he called me. Now I am starting it over again. Any advice though?
admin

August 22, 2013 at 3:03 am

Really look to evolve during NC. Become the ultimate hottie that we all know you are 😉

Julia

August 20, 2013 at 9:00 pm

My comment didn’t appear or maybe I forgot to actually submit it lol.

So I’m back from the trip and the NC period is more than over and I wrote him on fb sth to recall our general memories. He didn’t reply. Then I wrote sth else, again ignored.

Then I checked his profile and saw that he blocked all photos from me, all info, absolutely everything. He wants me to even forget how he looks. (gladly I have his pics on my phone) my friends say he’ll never talk to me again, he for some reason (I have no idea which) is super angry.

admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:55 am

He isn’t ready to talk to you yet then. Bummer. Try not to get too upset and look at this in a long term view. Go back into no contact for another week and then try reaching out again.
Julia

August 21, 2013 at 6:42 am

Oh Chris, I think 1 week won’t help. 🙁 Maybe he needs more half of year or even more. Btw, I fought up with one my friends 2 years ago and just a few days ago she texted me apologizing sincerely. I was shocked! So it took her 2 years!
admin

August 22, 2013 at 2:24 am

Really you think half a year is the way to go? Well, I guess whatever you think is best. You must be a really patient person haha.

Confused

August 20, 2013 at 7:46 pm

Hey Chris!I came across this site a few days back and found it really helpful!
My boyfriend broke up with me three days back. This is our second. He broke up with me last year saying he did not like me anymore and that he did not want to be with me. We had been apart for five months but he wanted to get back. This time again, he dumped me for the same. He said he wanted to move on and find someone who makes him happy for a change. I asked him for a chance but he was rude to me instead. He wouldn’t meet whenever I wanted to, but he would meet his friends quite often. When I told him that it made me upset, at first he agreed to spend more often with me but later on he said I was being annoying and that I complained a lot. Honestly, I had started to feel like it was a long distance even though we were from the same college and stayed only a half an hour away from each other. Also, he asked me to keep our relationship a secret which upset me a lot but I agreed. According to him, our last break up was pretty bad and he wanted to keep his private life a secret.
I like this guy a lot. And I really want to be with him. Just that he has changed, he isn’t the caring, romantic guy i fell in love with anymore. He was very different when he first asked me out.
I haven’t contacted him since we broke up, but Do you think I should move on or try to get him back?

admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:53 am

I think you should do what is best for you in the long run. If you feel you can have a lasting relationship with this person then I say try everything before you throw in the towel. If you feel that he is going to cause you more pain then I say work on healing and moving on.

Déjà Ruchardson

August 20, 2013 at 5:40 am

My ex boyfriend and I had broken up months ago but after we broke up and over the summer, we’ve been talking and going on dates. I would always ask him once in a while when we would get back together and other stuff about us and he has answered them in the past but I kept asking and I guess he got tired of it so one day I asked him was he talking to someone else and he told me yes. he said he didn’t love me as much as I loved him. He also said we needed a break and that I was a great person. I was so angry at him while he told me this that I unfollowed him on a website, but I felt bad about how I reacted to the situation so I went up to him and told him that we can be friends and that I’ll always be there for him.Will this help me get him back?

admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:03 am

If you want him back this is a good first step!

If you just want to be friends with him (like that is your end goal) then this probably isn’t the best way to go.
Déjà Ruchardson

August 21, 2013 at 5:01 am

Well honestly I want to be more than friends, I was just giving him some space and it’s really hard to see him with another girl. Do you think the no contact rule will help my situation?
admin

August 22, 2013 at 1:35 am

I absolutely think it will help in your situation. Of course, nothing is guaranteed here but it is a good way for you to improve during the time and kind of get yours and his mind right for a reunion.

Also, you might want to check out my new guide Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.
Déjà Ruchardson

August 22, 2013 at 2:35 am

Okay thank you for the help I really appreciate it 🙂
admin

August 23, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Hey Deja!

If you are interested in purchasing Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO just email me and I will give you a personal discount ;). If not then no hard feelings I will still be around.

Louise

August 20, 2013 at 2:35 am

My long distance boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. We had been dating for 1.5 years and most of that was long distance, though we spoke pretty regularly. He said the reason was that he felt too much pressure being in the relationship, and needed time to do his own thing. We were/are best friends, and we said we would try to continue this. For the first 24 hours after break up, we sent a few texts back and forth (he initiated). But I realised I needed some space to move on and asked for time. He said he would do this, but asked me not to forget I was his best friend.

I didn’t speak to him for two weeks, and yesterday he sent a text in the morning asking how I was, and apologising for not being there for me. I didn’t respond. He then phoned me three times over a 12 hour period (I didn’t answer), and the final time he left a voice mail. I shouldn’t have listened, but I did. He wasn’t trying to sound sad, but he did. I felt awful and wrote a text just saying “give me time”. He responded saying “alright, whenever you’re ready, no pressure”.

So I broke the 30 day NC rule. I know you said we have to restart, but does that count if my one bit of contact was a gentle rejection? I am guessing you will say yes. But really, my dilemma is that he leaves the country in two weeks (his visa expires), and he will probably get a new number which I won’t have (unless he somehow sends it out of nowhere). I also have no idea what our methods of communication will be like once he has gone.

Advice?

admin

August 20, 2013 at 5:03 am

Do you have him on Facebook? Do you have his email? That could be a way to contact him.

I am working really hard to get my ebook up and live this week so look out for that. But after I finish that I plan on writing a long distance section since a lot of people are clamoring for it.
Louise

August 20, 2013 at 6:01 am

He doesn’t use Facebook, and I have his email but we’ve rarely communicated that way. We mostly contacted each other via skype when we were apart, but if he is travelling that makes it more difficult.

Do you think I should start a new 30 days?
admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:04 am

I don’t think it can hurt.

Let me see here. Does he check his email often? Maybe you could use the email to get his number after NC is up.

Mysty

August 19, 2013 at 5:23 pm

We’ve been together a month he’s already said I love you to me a few times after about 2-3weeks and I never said it back just said I’m falling for him or really like him.
. He hasn’t said it in a while.
I stpudly sent him a text saying I was in love with me in the heat of the moment.I sent that to him on whatsapp then his last seen came up about a minute after and he didn’t reply and hasn’t been online again so nervous even more now.
We’ve been speaking about for ages how we have such a great connection.
When he told me he was in love with me he said “You can shout at me for being crazy but I’m really falling for you baby. Like really hard babe!!!xx”
then said “I really think I’m falling in love with you (my name)” and has said it a few times and another time when he was drunk about 2 weeks ago.
He’s said this now
“I’m going to be honest pet. This is scaring me how fast things are going with us . I really had no intention of getting into a relationship until I met you . I dunno what it is. I’m afraid of hurting you and myself I’m just confused”

I sent this a text back and Then i sent this ” “I do care about you thought you were a good guy. But I don’t want to be messed around by someone who doesn’t know what they want”. . He replied and said this “Like I honestly don’t know whats going on in my head. I really don’t. I hurt when you said “I thought you were a good guy” I am. I’ve always treated you right. I just don’t know what I want in life right now. I hate my job and most of my life to be honest. I’m not the right guy for you you deserve way better”

Is the NC rule for me? I have sent a couple more messages since got no reply I have a feeling he is confused maybe after 30days he’ll know. Now decided I really need to not contact him. It was a very intense relationship.

admin

August 20, 2013 at 4:19 am

The NC rule is a good play for you (insert your name) 😉
mysty

August 20, 2013 at 9:22 am

We did meet online his actions speak a lot clearer then his words like he initiated the relationship and said I love you so early on many times. He’s back online but he’s now in the relationship section. I think I must’ve scared him when I said the I love you thing but it was a mistake. It’s so hard to not text him. Would this NC rule still possibly work even if we were only together a short time?
admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:16 am

It would work really well if you had good chemistry together during your time.
mysty

August 29, 2013 at 4:18 pm

Thanks I sent an email explaining it.
admin

August 29, 2013 at 5:53 pm

Sweet!

I will get to it later tonight.
mysty

August 28, 2013 at 5:22 pm

Bought that thing now.
Is it normal for the ex not to want any contact with you? like if you text he”ll ignore and if I phone he won’t want to speak I haven’t broken it again. But is it normal for the ex to be like that in the early stage?
Also I’m not quite sure why me and my ex broke up in the first place does it matter? It was just sudden or possibly it’s over the comment I said to him which he said hurt him.
admin

August 29, 2013 at 3:59 am

Hi there!

It is actually pretty normal for an ex to not want contact with you in certain cases.

Lets try to figure out why he broke up with you.
mysty

August 22, 2013 at 5:40 pm

Yeah we had instant chemistry and a connection.
So I kinda messed up the whole no contact thing it’d been 3/4 days I contacted him on the phone and he hung up and then I sent two messages he never replied.
Have I messed the no contact thing up? is there still a chance to try? guessing I need to start the 30 days again.
admin

August 23, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Yea, you need to start the NC Rule again.

I will tell you what, I know you are having a rough time with NC. I will give you Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO at a discount if you are interested. Just email me for the details.

rosie

August 19, 2013 at 1:04 pm

Another 10 days to go but i just afraid when the nc rule end..afraid of the outcome..as i know it is no gurantee im getting my ex back..of course i put so much hope on this, can’t deny it..

Am i think too much?
Don’t know whether 30 days is enough but of course i’m looking forward to..

admin

August 20, 2013 at 4:01 am

Luckily for you my ebook is coming out this week and that will give you a solid plan going forward AFTER NC.

P.S. Email me when it comes out and I will give you a discount 😉

Sally

August 19, 2013 at 9:35 am

i am on day 14 of no contact no and i am really struggling… i am still looking on his twitter page and reading what he posts and he says things like, ‘i am so bored etc’ he clearly isnt bored enough to contact me though! I have been told i am reading too much into this but his whatsapp profile pic is stil one of me and him. it may well be that he has forgotten to change it but it may well be that it is there for a reason. Can this be the case?
I am badly missing him and feel weak but i know i have to do 30 days, i just feel it would be pointless to contact him after 30 days if he hasnt contacted me, surely that gives me a clear message if he hasnt contacted me??
we saw each othere everyday, it just feels empty without him. but he is so laid back i worry that he will be just thinking that I havnet contacted him.
Is NC likely to work?

admin

August 20, 2013 at 3:42 am

Check out the success section! Maybe you can get some inspiration there.

Also you are doing so well. Almost halfway through is amazing!
Sally

August 21, 2013 at 7:46 am

Thank you for your help on this, i am on day 16 of NC now and it feels as though it is getting harder and harder, not easier…
i read a story from the success stories that said he ran into her after 7 weeks and then was happy to see her and they got back together… i feel he is avoiding me so that he doesn’t see me and that upsets me, we got on the same train everyday, now he gets a different train. How do you muster up the strength to not contact them after the 30 days?? I just feel that he won’t and it feels gut wrenching. We slept together after it ended, do you think this would have ruined the chances even more?? Do you think there is a possibility that he will contact me?
admin

August 22, 2013 at 2:35 am

Howdy Sally!

Yup, the success stories section is pretty awesome. Funny thing though is no one would really let me use their picture. It kinda bums me out a bit but I can understand why. I am just happy that they got their exes back.

I think the best way to muster up the strength to not contact them is to stay super occupied. That works for most people.

I always find it interesting that women always talk about how they wish their ex would contact them during the NC period. The truth is, to me YOU are going to contact him after the 30 days so who cares if he contacts you (that is the attitude you have to do.)

If you are looking for more in-depth advice on how to get your ex back and what to do after the NC period then I recommend checking out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. Just food for thought. If you aren’t interested then no hard feelings I will still be around.

Elizabeth

August 18, 2013 at 11:37 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago. We were together for about two years, and he recently moved to Colorado after graduating from college. He is a recovering drug addict and his reasoning behind the break-up stemmed from the fact that he’s trying to find himself without drugs.

I texted him briefly the day after he broke it off, but later implemented the no-contact rule despite one or two “are you okay?” messages received from him after the fact. Do you think his reasoning behind the break-up is valid? Should I keep up the no-contact rule? Thoughts are appreciated.

admin

August 19, 2013 at 4:06 am

Yup and yup. I think that is a valid reason to break up with someone and I think giving him time is the best thing to do. Lets give him some time and work on getting him back. What do you say?

Tabatha

August 18, 2013 at 9:34 pm

So, it’s been two days after our fight. He was the last to text though it was rude sarcasm. Then I immediately started posting my happy social life on Facebook. He immediately liked my status to which I did nothing. Yesterday neither one of us made contact. Today he has text me twice, both times wondering what my problem is and then finally acting like he doesn’t want to hear back from me. I haven’t responded to anything. Will this 30 days make him so angry that it will cause him to not talk to me when it’s over? He wants to talk to me, but he isn’t texting mw telling me how he misses me yet. This is our first relationship fight.

admin

August 19, 2013 at 3:54 am

Generally speaking in my experience it has the opposite effect.

Usho

August 18, 2013 at 7:34 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up on August 13th. Must admit that there was some drama before I simply gave in to his decision. He said he doesn’t wish to hear from me again. We both were in a loving relationship until problems began surfacing in his familial life. Maybe he left me because I nagged him at times because of his prolonged withdrawal from me. I love him dearly and have been following the no contact rule strictly since the day he called it off between us. Its his birthday on the 30th August. I want to wish him but I don’t want to risk pushing him further away. Should I leave a message? Should I ignore his birthday? Please help me out..

admin

August 19, 2013 at 3:49 am

Ignore the birthday. I get that question so often haha.

Sandy

August 18, 2013 at 5:38 pm

I am on my fourth try with the no contact rule. After he broke up with me two months ago I tried everything. The texting. begging. crying. and all we have been doiing is fighting. he says he still loves me but he can’t give me what I need. The problem is everytime I try no contact ( before I actually knew what it was) he texts me with a sweet song or something and I responded. He tells me he is afraid he is going to lose me but he is dating his ex girlfriend. He tells me he doesn’t love her but she doesn’t expect anything from him. so basically I know he loves and misses me and I want to give him the chance to see what he’s giving up but I am having trouble with the no contact because we work together. Any advice?

admin

August 19, 2013 at 3:37 am

Rules are slightly different. You still can do NC but when you see him in person you need to be kind, nice, pleasant, and look your best. Try to end the conversations first on your end. The goal is to make him go “wow she looks amazing.”

Yasmin

August 18, 2013 at 9:10 am

Hi Chris,

So the guy I’m trying to win back was never truly my boyfriend. 2 and a half years ago, a few months after I started my new job, this guy at work asked me out. I said no because I had never thought of him in such a way before. But this was the trigger that got me thinking about him romantically. I decided to ask him out but he said that he’d started seeing someone else. Fast forward to 2 years later (during which I’ve still harboured feelings for him) he tells me he broke up with his girlfriend 2 months ago and that he can’t take his mind off me, and has been thinking about me for more than 2 months. We agreed to see each other. He then told me that he wants a career change and is going to do a conversion degree in Glasgow. He said that he really cares for me and hopes this won’t affect my decision to date him and that he is willing to move back to London after his degree to be with me. I then find out that our time together would be cut short even further as I have to go on a month long trip (it couldn’t be avoided). This time pressure really got to me and we weren’t getting along as well as we usually did. We went out last weekend and had a wonderful time and it ended well. But a week later he phoned me saying he thinks that we don’t have enough to base a long distance relationship on. When probed further he said that I’ve been quite difficult lately and that he felt he was battling me. I admit that the fact we had a limited amount of time together made me panic and feel frustrated and it didn’t bring out the best in me. I also think the fact that we come from different cultural backgrounds (I’m of Indian origin and he is Scottish) may have led to some misunderstandings in the way we perceived each others intentions. When he rang me I spent 20 minutes trying to convince him that we had never given this a fair chance, which I regretted almost immediately. He kept saying he was sorry and that he still cared for me. I haven’t spoken to him since but I want to show him that I’m not that grumpy woman he came to know in the past few weeks. So I’m going on a month long trip and have decided not to contact him at all. Does this count as my NC period because I think he would expect me not to contact him during this period anyway. Or will it start when I get back? My only worry is that this will give him too much time to get used to his life without me. And I think he is someone who will try to see other people as soon as possible to help him move on. He was passionate about me once and I want him to be again.

admin

August 19, 2013 at 3:15 am

Thatll count as your NC for sure. You can reignite the passion within him but realize that it isn’t going to happen overnight.

Stacey

August 18, 2013 at 3:02 am

Hey Chris,

I hope you will see this comment. I have an interesting situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. For the past year, we were in a long distance relationship – but throughout that time, both of us were extremely true and very dedicated to the relationship (even though he was in grad school and I undergrad we still talked once a day – it was international long distance). Now he has finally moved home and I recently moved to the same city as him. Since he had been away for so long, he really cherished time with his family, but I pressured him too much to hang out with me because I had missed him over the past year. He told me about two weeks ago that he loves me, and he doesnt necessarily want to break up, but that he thinks the best thing for our relationship would be to have some space. I calmly agreed, and havent said one word to him in two weeks. I HAVE however done pretty much everything you said not to do – drank too much, smoked too much, talked toooo much. We are technically still together, and I miss him a lot, and would do everything I can to get our relationship back on track – i love him and we have been through everything together. I fear that since he hasnt contacted me either in two weeks that it means he doesnt love me anymore. Do you think that since i reacted badly to the space – even though i didnt talk to him – that he will find out or not want to get back together? or if i clean up my act from now on – start working out, cutting back on alcohol such – but continue to wait for him to call me before i call him? Basically, do you think we have a chance? The thought of losing him is honestly overwhelming and too much to bear.

admin

August 18, 2013 at 4:38 am

I never think it is a bad thing to want to improve yourself so I am all for that! I think it is worth a try. I think you have a chance but I can’t guarantee it obviously. Clean up your act and see what happens.

Back again

August 17, 2013 at 9:26 pm

So I am on Day 19 of NC. I just found out that my ex will be moving for his promotion alot earlier than I had originally anticipated. He is moving a few states away. Do I still go the whole 30 days even though in doing this I will not be able to sit down and have a conversation with him before he leaves?

admin

August 18, 2013 at 4:28 am

I suppose you can shorten it and give it a try. But if things don’t go well then you can go back into NC.

crazy

August 17, 2013 at 5:54 pm

So my ex broke up with me almost two weeks now and I haven’t talked to him since. He said he wasn’t feeling the same towards me anymore since he’s been going out more doing his own thing I guess I should have took this initiative and did my own thing as well I guess he thought I was growing too dependent on him and called it quits. I don’t know if he still loves me. He asked me to stay over that night prior to the break up. We were together for 9 months. Do you think he still has feelings? Will this bring him back?

admin

August 18, 2013 at 4:23 am

I can’t guarantee you that this will bring him back. The only true answer to that question lies with your ex. I can tell you that this is probably the smartest way to approach things.

Scared

August 17, 2013 at 1:04 am

I am scared I pushed my ex away with my nagging about the future and certainties and knowing where we were going to be in a year. He broke up saying that he wasnt head over heels in love with me but that I was the greatest gf but something wasnt there. I did this before a year earlier and he broke up with me, but we got back together cause he didn’t want to imagine me with another guy. But this year has been hard. I have gone through an eating disorder our second semester of Junior year, and this summer we were long distance, and I was insecure of the future and him wanting to be with me. I feel like I pushed him away for a second time and I just have hope that he will come back. That we do share something special. I want him back. I want to change. I want to live my life from day to day with him, not knowing what will come next and enjoying each moment. I sent him an apology over fb message, because I yelled at him pretty badly when we broke up. I said that I know why we broke up and I am trying to change what pushed him away which is to be positive and to not be scared of uncertainties, not to worry and I said I hope if anything I hope we can remain friends because I value our time we had together. He said he appreciated my apology and hope we will remain friends, because he valued that time too. I am just so scared I lost him for good. I know in my hearts of hearts we are perfect together. I am giving him space as it only has been two days but I am hoping this is time that he is thinking about us, how good we are and not just space away from me because it is officially over. I am doing NC but I am so scared I just lost the love of my life for good.

admin

August 17, 2013 at 3:48 am

What do you plan on doing during NC to improve?
Scared

August 17, 2013 at 7:25 am

Try not worry about things and let things go. I mean I have been doing in general..but I keep thinking about him. The last we broke up I did NC and then after 4 days I ran into him and we had a short talk. Then that night I FB friend requested and told him I hope we can be friends and how he can always talk to me. He then messaged me back confessing how he was feeling and I asked if he wanted to meet up and he told me then he wanted to talk to me sooner but he didn’t think I wanted to but we got back together. Now even after messaging him the apology, but not mentioning talking, and just friend requesting to show no hard feelings, I still don’t know if he knows I am open to talking if he is, cause he may also be backing off. I just want to talk things out and him to know that, cause he didn’t know last time either
admin

August 18, 2013 at 3:36 am

Well, I still say do NC!
Scared

August 18, 2013 at 2:10 pm

Is there any hope???? I want him back, I know he is my soulmate
admin

August 19, 2013 at 3:29 am

There is always hope. I do know you want him back but you are going to have to be patient and you will also have to realize that this process isn’t going to happen overnight!

Linda

August 16, 2013 at 5:54 am

I need your help! Aug 2 was the day i stop talking to my ex. He broke up with me because his ex girlfriend told him hes moving back home and never coming back. But she came back for him to be with him. Now thats bs! I think i was being used for 5 months when we were together, never had any fights but in fact we are still in our honey moon stage. anyways, the month of july was a living hell for me, we text EVERY SINGLE DAY NO MATTER WHAT DAY IT IS but now he rarely reply, or return my calls. he told me he wants a life with me, he has no feeling for his ex, he wants to see me constantly but yet he doesn’t return my calls or text after 3 days or whenever he feels like it. the month of july I feel like S***, oh and he forgot when my birthday, sorry i just had to add that in. Aug 5th was the day we were suppose to eat at a fancy restaurant but we last spoke on Aug 2. I waited for his response until Aug 5. at 9:43 he finally respond but those are the times when all resturant close early on a Monday. I ignore his text because i was angry. Tuesday he messaged me, I didn’t message him back. Wednesday he called me twice but i didn’t pick up, and thursday he messaged me 3 times and facebook message me, I didn’t read the facebook message because if i did he knows that i read it. This is killing me. Should i still continue the 30 days? I just want to slap him! those message are “hey”, “why don’t you answer me?” “hey are you mad at me” “hey beautiful answer me” “linda i miss talking to you” AARRRGGHHHH its killing me not to message him but i feel so good that i’m not replying to him, at least i know hes thinking about me. He is a sweetheart, a guy i can see a future, we are both silly but what is your input? was i just a girl on the side until his “ex girlfriend” came back for him? the people that we do meet that we don’t know, he tells them we been dating for 5 months and we are bf and gf. but in front of his friends im just his “friend”

admin

August 17, 2013 at 2:51 am

Linda, any guy who won’t admit that you are a gf in front of his friends is not worth having. I don’t care what the situation is that is not a good thing and you shouldn’t put up with that.
Linda

August 16, 2013 at 5:57 am

Oh sorry i got the date wrong. Aug 9 was the last day i spoke to him and aug 12 was the day i was suppose to go to a fancy restaurant. Since aug 12 he been messaging me ever since.

Joy

August 15, 2013 at 8:24 pm

Experienced my first breakup with my bf (he did it) on Tuesday. I let him know I did not want to break up but when he uttered the words, I said I understand and respect your decision. Now this is the part that gets silly. We had a “Words with Friends” game going days before and it was his turn..so hours after the breakup, he plays his turn. I don’t play back. That night, he “nudges” me, I don’t play back. Last night, he messages me in a playful way about how he knows I don’t like to lose so “lets get this show on the road.” = playing my turn. No response from me. My thoughts are that he just broke up with me – why in the heck would I accept mere “scraps” of communication? Is it wrong for me to view it this way and not respond? I just don’t see this as effort and I don’t want to find myself in the friend zone aka becoming an option. Thoughts? (Oh and Words with Friends? Really? lol – we’re adults smh)

admin

August 16, 2013 at 2:43 am

That is so incredibly rude. Maybe it is his way of trying to break the tension on an awkward situation.
Joy

August 19, 2013 at 3:52 pm

Well…we are back together. I opened the door so to speak by playing the game with him for about a couple days…but then called him out on it and asked what was up? why was he contacting me if he broke up with me? He said he liked interacting with me. Uh no. I was honest and let him know that being friends is difficult and that I needed the time to move on so further communication would have to come to a halt. He then fessed up that he wanted me back, but he was afraid I wouldn’t take him back…so I am glad I opened the door, but I feel you have to balance it with the strength of fully walking away if you need to so that you can heal and move on. Keeping him in my life, as friends, would not have allowed me to do so…I’m happy we’re back together though! 🙂
admin

August 20, 2013 at 4:12 am

AWESOME! Can I use you on the success story?
Joy

August 20, 2013 at 2:58 pm

Sure thing! 🙂

Jessie

August 15, 2013 at 8:08 pm

Hi Chris,

I have a quick question. My ex and I broke up last week and he sent me a rude text and after a day I responded stating that we need to talk . He has not responded to that message. Nonetheless, the day after texting him that we need to talk I found your site and I would like to implement NC. Should I reply when he responds since I suggested that we should talk? Or do I stick with NC? I don’t want him to think that I am playing games.

admin

August 16, 2013 at 2:40 am

Stick to NC.

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