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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Lo
September 6, 2015 at 10:08 pm
Ok, so my ex and i broke up at the beginning of summer. (we dated for about a year and a half) After about a week or two we got back together but then he broke up with me again. After that it was a mess. It was both of us, we didn’t know how to not contact each other and give each other space and then I went crazy with over texting and the last time we spoke on the phone we got in a fight. I feel horrible because of everything that happened. He was a jerk and said some not very nice things like you’re not the one, leave me alone. I know it’s because i was annoying. I’m better now, it’s been almost a month since we haven’t talked. I text him once for some documents on his laptop, and then he text me once about church. That was it. I want him back in my life. I’m not sure if my behavior ruined everything. I want him to not hate me. The fact that our relationship ended so messy gives me anxiety anytime I’m out and about and could possibly run into him.
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:47 am
What are you so anxious about?
How old are you?
Is this your first relationship?
Emma
September 6, 2015 at 6:27 pm
I’m in love with your website and it’s really helped me. I’m on day 21 of NC but I haven’t had even the slightest bit of interest or contact from my ex and I’m beginning to worry he’s just doesn’t care. Things ended on good terms and he said he wanted to remain friends, but I can’t help but think I haven’t crossed his mind. Any idea into what may be going through his mind?
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:46 am
I am glad you love it so much.
I bet you have crossed his mind but he is probably one of those exes that needs a bit of pampering from you which you can provide with a first contact text after the rule is up.
Brooke
September 6, 2015 at 5:32 pm
Hi! The NC Rule looks very promising and I’m willing to give it a try. The only thing is, my ex boyfriend is also my next door neighbour…however we now go to different schools so it’s not as if I see him around. He broke up with me about 6 months ago but since then have been on/off with a lot of arguing and “mind games” as you so call it. We’ve fallen out a lot but we always always end up back together (not actually dating), and he always ends up saying really nice things like “it doesn’t matter what we’ve been through we still always find a way back to eachother”. He also says many things like “I could never hate you” , “We clearly have something special if we keep coming back to eachother” and “I’m always going to be here for you”. He even tried getting with a girl in a period of time where we were trying to “move on”, but even then he came back to me and said “I miss you”. I really do believe that he cares about me deep down. A couple of days ago we had another argument and it got very heated, he ended it with “I’m done with you and your bullsh*t, don’t talk to me” but me being me I made a fuss about it and got VERY desperate not to lose him. I messaged him the next day to apologise but he wasn’t having any of it, he was still mad at me. Today I messaged him AGAIN but he was still really off with me so I started questioning things. He admitted that he’s afraid of me (typically because I just lash out on him… I’m very emotional) he also said that he doesn’t want to be my friend any more and that I am just going to return to being “the girl next door who he never speaks to”. I told him that what he said was very hurtful, which it was, we’ve been very close for about a year now, but he just kept pushing me away. In the end he just said “This should be the last ever time we speak.” And that’s where it has ended. It hurts a lot because I’ve lost a very dear friend who would always listen to me and always be there for me, but now I have to pretend like he doesn’t exist. For all those reasons I hope the NC Rule works, and during the next month or so I’m going to work on myself and my emotions (because clearly they were too much for him). What kind of message do I break the NC Rule with after 30 days?? I don’t want it to be personal, but I don’t want it to be too boring that he just ignores it (as he has done that before). Thank you 😛
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:46 am
Give it your best shot.
Have you read any of my articles outside of the no contact rule?
Nina
September 6, 2015 at 1:19 pm
Hi Chris,
He is 43, I am 40.
Knowing each other for a few months. Going for NC after a misunderstanding (Not a fight or …)
I did the no contact for 30 days. Last message before no contact was from me.
He didnt contact during these 30 days.
I sent him a message after 30 days and he replied to every line and word after 40 hours.
Its 3 days now. I am again silent ! He too.
Is it just a polite reply to a friend or he is also ready to start again?
Why I cannot text him any more and he doesn’t neither?
I dont see him excited and eager enough.
If I take one step, he takes the next ………
What should I do? what is your advice?
Annie
September 6, 2015 at 11:11 am
Hi Chris,
I’ve been avoiding commenting on here because somehow everything has gone wrong.
I’ve posted a few times but I understand you have many visitors to this site so I’m just going to recap my situation.
My ex broke up with me, I was devastated, he struggles with depression and said it was because of that. I found your site and went into no contact, it worked. He came back to me and said he wanted to try again, but as friends and see where we go.
we were going well, then he started to become cold, I saw your article on open and vulnerable communication (really good article) and spoke to him about it, he changed, he become more attentive again but admitted he was struggling with depression still. I could see he was messaging another girl who I don’t like but I know he’s friends with about this. I told him he could talk to me about it, he never did. Then one night, he had a message from her and I read it (I’m not proud of that) when he came back into the room and read it himself, he said that she was nagging him again to fix something and he wouldn’t. He lied to me, that wasn’t what she said but I couldn’t confront him.
I immediately began to question everything he has told me in the past, I didn’t sleep that night, I couldn’t speak to him properly either the following day.
He also became very cold whenever we had sex and we had recently had sex (I didn’t follow your advice on the commitment thing, my fault entirely) I wonder if he just wanted a friends with benefits situation, but never actually told me. I asked him the following day if he wanted to do something. He said no, and the same the next day, blaming it on depression. I broke it off and then became a text gnat.
I have been in no contact for a week, I have nothing to lose but it’s hard. He hasn’t contacted me, which is fine.
The problem is, I feel like I made a mistake (which I did in reading the message) and I want to text him and apologise. What would you advise? I’ll be honest in that I’m not sure I want him back and I’m going to decide after the 30 days whether I will text him. I just hate knowing there’s something I should apologise for and I’m not.
Need wisdom
September 16, 2015 at 3:47 pm
Hi Chris,
Thank you soooo much for everything! I pray that God bless you in all your advice and wisdom you so dearly share.
Need some advice.
Broke up in April 2015, no contact for 30 days he messaged first and I responded (never read or knew about your website very sad about that) In June 2015 I broke the no contact after 30 days and sent him a message. All went well, but we kissed and played some games and well now he says he doesn’t trust me and doesn’t want to commit because he is afraid I might leave him again after breaking up three times in the past. He was really mean on tuesday when I asked nicely if we could make up and try again he keeps saying we need to spend time together but he doesn’t make an effort to do so.
All you can say is the page I need to visit. No need for loong replies I know you are very busy. Will the no contact rule work again? Or will it not be smart since he has trust issues? What links should I read that you wrote about? What if I do the no contact religiously and he doesn’t say anything because I broke his trust again? I really want to make it work again.
Thank you so much
Annie
September 12, 2015 at 8:06 pm
Thanks for replying, congratulations on your daughter.
I’ve decided I do want him back, so I bought your book, I’ve been reading the chapters on texting because I have 13 days left and want to plan ahead. He hated the texting with a question first and the waiting for him to reply thing last time and he isn’t a fan of stories, so I was going to go with a text saying something like “I was running along a path we used to both run along, remember when X happened, it made me think of that and you” does that sound ok? I’ve been receiving the Sarah and Kai emails as well, so would you rather I just wait and see what happens with those?
Chris Seiter
October 2, 2015 at 4:53 pm
Check out my new one.
It’s called the texting bible. You might find that it’s a better fit for you.
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:45 am
Hi Annie,
You caught me at a weird time. My daughter was just born so we are figuring everything out still. Honesly I would just stay in NC for now. Don’t apologize for reading the message.
Don’t even mention it.
Should you have done it?
Right now I think no contact is a good fit for you.
Don't knos
September 6, 2015 at 10:34 am
Hi Chris
I’m hoping you would reply to this one atleast. My ex blocked me now on Whatsapp for over two months and he hasn’t blocked dme on other social sites. I have given up he would ever get in touch with me as I said a lot to him three-four lines but really harsh stuff I said to him and he blocked me. He had always been the one msgn me earlier but now I miss him he is the love I have loved him and I know I shouldn’t hold on as I do not think he is like other men but men are complex series. I feel he played mind games with me.
It’s tough I know I have to move one. The pain is there but I have no choice other than move on.
Lissy
September 5, 2015 at 11:56 pm
I ran into my ex last night at a party. I have 12 more days of no contact. He walked in and seemed to not even notice I was there, I eventually just walked by and said hi and he said hey, how are you and I just said good and kept walking. I then proceeded to continue my night, avoiding him. He didn’t even seemed phased by it. Later that night I had been talking with some girls and they were asking about the breakup (they are mutual friends of ours) and telling me how he seems to be acting immature about it. So I just talked with them. Well not even an hour later, I find the same girls talking to him… He awkwardly gets up and leaves. The girls then proceed to be like we are just trying to get his side, he seems immature, etc. I was upset because I didn’t want him to know how I was feeling, because I was actually really enjoying myself. I felt so hurt being ignored by him… I feel like all my chances are ruined… And I was wondering if I should continue no contact for 12 days, start over or just break it since we saw each other.
Lissy
September 15, 2015 at 3:29 am
Also, at this party, I believe he told my friends the reason he ended things is because he didn’t want anything that serious. Now knowing him and the relationship we had, that is not what he told me while we were in a relationship. He would constantly remind me how much he liked me and wanted to be with me, and how much he wanted things to work. Even when he ended things he said he wanted this but couldn’t do it. I don’t know if I should just take those with a grain of salt or what, but what does that mean from a guys perspective? Is that a fear of commitment? Or was it him just trying to come up with a reason for his actions? I know it doesn’t matter in getting him back, I just want to know how you would deal with someone who says they no longer want a serious relationship. Thanks again!
Lissy
September 13, 2015 at 10:55 pm
So I should have just ignored him unless he came up to me? (I’m just trying to figure out how the no contact works if you run into your ex)
Also I forgot to mention that later that night, I was talking to someone about the movie Princess Bride, in which he made a comment like “omg that movie is awesome whoever said that” he looked at me and realized it was me and awkwardly walked away. Why did he act like that, so cold, and why would he have cared to go up to the girls to ask how I was doing?
Chris Seiter
October 2, 2015 at 5:10 pm
Love that movie.
He is immature and doesn’t know how to handle his emotions yet.
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:40 am
So, YOU broke no contact?
If you had walked by and said nothing you would have been golden but you did break NC so ya you have to start over.
Lissy
September 10, 2015 at 5:10 am
Please let me know what you thinking about continuing no contact or starting over. Thanks.
Lissy
September 8, 2015 at 5:22 am
So to add, the girl messaged me today, saying she was sorry for talking to him, but he came up to her. She said he knew I was upset and said he cared too. But what I don’t get is why he went up to her and didn’t come talk to me. Again should I continue the no contact where I am or start over?
Thanks 🙂
Lissy
September 6, 2015 at 12:06 am
He acted like I meant nothing at all. But at the same time when I did say hi, and asked how I was it seemed like he wanted to talk longer, but I’m glad I walked away. Even if I can’t get him back, which I still want, I want to be able to be friendly when we run into each other and he just didn’t seem to care, yet sat and talked to these girls about us.
Marie
September 5, 2015 at 10:15 pm
Hey Chris!
I was seeing this guy for a couple months before summer and we were on again off again because he kept going back and forth between this other girl and I. We didn’t talk a lot during summer but just recently we have been talking and he was telling me how he missed me and wants me. Im very confused and don’t know what to do because what it looks like is he has been seeing a different girl but both of them say that they aren’t dating. Im afraid he just wants me for sexual reasons and I really want him for more than that. Help!!!
Marie
September 12, 2015 at 11:20 pm
He has been seeing her for around a month
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:40 am
How long has he been seeing this girl for?
Adi
September 5, 2015 at 4:59 pm
Hey Chris, I don’t really know what to do. My ex of over six years broke up with me nearly two months ago and we haven’t really spoken much since, I did NC, but we needed to talk about some important things, (nothing to do with the relationship or any emotional stuff) and it was very brief. It’s been a week since we last spoke. Before this, he was asking me some personal questions about my plans for Uni and a few other things, I never asked anything back, and he sent me a few inside jokes which made me very emotional and made me miss him a lot, but I didn’t respond enthusiastically over it. I don’t know if I’ve messed up, I’m thinking of going into a longer NC, do you think I should or is it too late to even try? What do you suggest I do?
Adi
September 6, 2015 at 1:07 pm
Sorry I meant my boyfriend who I was with for over 6 years – he’s not my ex of 6 years haha.
kala
September 5, 2015 at 6:00 am
Hello,
I did leave a voice mail but I want to write something in detail to hope get a grip of what going on… I been with my husband for 5 year.. we fight and have went thought a lot.. I have help him complete his goal of owning his own business .. I have make sure everything he want to do is succesful.. my family have taken good care of him and he never have to pay any bill in till thiss year.. one big thing we fight about is that he not responsible and sometime not even go to work and everything … so I always try to give him what he want including buying him any thing he enjoy.. like cars and anything he enjoy.. and even bring his best friend to live with me and also take care of his little brother and I did supported him anyway possbile.. but sometime he goes too far at not keeping his word on what he need to do and I will have fight with him and he will end up throwing stuff or punching the wall and everything … I always let it go and admit it my fault.. because I notice that I do say mean stuff when I argue with him… anyway fast forward till now on Aug 10 he left to new York to pick up his brother from their parent house and he got to hang out with his friends and he always texted me and call me but the last day he didn’t call me and it was because I didn’t let him buy gift for his family because we were having some money issue .. I told him if it was something else not like lv wallet or luxey item it will be ok.. so we kind of have a fight .. then papery he went out to have fun with his friends and there was this girl that was really nice to him .. and he start having feeling for her .. he say it a crush and then he also told his best friend that every time we argue he want to go kill himself and his best friend told him if you are that unhappy then leave … so when the day he come back from his trip he ignore me and I was really upset and then the next day he was like I’m going to divorce you .. I was so angry so I said some awful thing to him.. and when I knew he was serious he was like we are getting a divorce and then he ask to sleep with me for the last time and we had sex and then the next day he keep saying I don’t want you to think wrong I still want an divorce and then he act cold toward me so I beg for him to stay with me and I said sorry and everything and then I told him everything was my fault and he was aways right and he cry and he agree to give me 2 day of happiness before it all end and then he was like let cuddle .. he seem like he want to have sex but before he wanted that I ask him if you will stay with me and he say no and I keep begging him and he was like the truth is I don’t love you anymore and the first time we had sex I just want to see if I love you and the rest of the time is because he was horny..so after that I over react and he left the house and after that when he came back he come home acting all cold and happy that he leaving me .. and there nothing in could do..so the next day I left to a hotel and then I ignore all his call he did call me and he did texted me the first day saying you need to accept I’m leaving you and nothing will change and you need to come back and handle the money problem and then I call his family telling them what happen and they say give him some time to rethink so I listen to them .. and then he text me saying he brought a plane ticket to NY to take his brother back and that he will file the divorce paper when he come back and I called his best friend and his family to ask them to explain to him to wait in till back to sign the paper and then the next morning I called him to tell him do whatever you want if you want to sign the paper go for it but leave me alone I need time and he was like there is no point to sign the paper in till everything is handle .. then I went back home because we have a doctor appointment together and when I went home he want to have sex I rejected then whole day he was acting all happy and keep randomly asking me to have sex with him and also keep telling me my wrong and he keep asking what I did at the hotel and he even text his bf that he think I cheated on him but he was acting all happy and normal and also he was like if you come back in an year we may get marry again .. and I was like no .. he say this a lot and after that night we did have sex and he say it was like the worse sex he ever have and he regret it and that when he told me the main reason I’m leaving you is because he start having feeling for someone else and then I beg for him to stay again I try cuddling and everything with him and then he left back to NY to drop off his brother and before we leave we have an agreement to not talk so that we could start our separation and we not allow to talk about our divorce with outsider and yes this was my idea.. he left to the airport and then he did texted me about how his brother is smart and then we didn’t talk for 3 day and then I broke down and called him and he was telling me how these other girls personally is better then me and he keep telling me all I need to change and he will not let me control him anymore and he end the call with me saying he busy and he remind me that we getting a divorce and then 3 day later I texted him and called him saying I will change for you and love you and I miss you and he told me he don’t miss me and don’t even think about me at all and also he really like this girl personally but he stop talking to her because she flirt around with too much guys and he say she a good girl maybe in 5 year he will want to see what happen .. we have a some what nice chat and we had phone sex and then he was like I’m still divorcing you and that I don’t you anymore and .. he was like I’m busy and he hang up and I was really sad… and then one day my friends can’t got hold of me so she called him and he was like just called her she fine and then later on that night he called me and was like 2 question and he was like where are you your business partner is looking for you and that if I did something to his message app and I was like no and told him I was busy and I say bye and then 2 day later he texted me to change his password for his email and I didn’t reply or change it … and we having not talked since … could you give me any input.m we been marry since we were 19 we are 23-24 now.. he just change so fast and he seem like he don’t care about me anymore and I’m scare..
kala
September 5, 2015 at 6:20 am
Also yes I brought your book.
kala
September 5, 2015 at 6:13 am
We have not talked since Aug 25 .. so it been 11 day and he coming back on Sept 10.. I don’t know what to do anymore ..
kala
September 5, 2015 at 6:09 am
Sorry I keep adding info because I wanted to added he felt like he did nothing wrong in this marriage and keep saying if you change it will not be like this and for 5 year you didn’t loose weight and you aways argue with me .. he not seeing anything now all he see is my wrong and hee keep telling everyone that everything is my fault and he know what I did and he thank me but he say I’m lacking on the sex cooking and cleaning part.. and giving him attention .. Which I do give him sex once a week but he telling me I never have sex with him anymore and he lying.. I just don’t understand why he think everything is my fault ..
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:39 am
This may sound really weird but I am working on a website called http://www.mymarriagehelper.com (its ugly right now so don’t judge) but I think you can gain a lot of more relvant info there.
FYI you are the first person I have told about this website. Yay you!
kala
September 5, 2015 at 6:04 am
Also I wanted to added that his trip was only 5 day and he also told me I was not giving him enough sex and I’m lazy and I’m not happy all the time with him and I didn’t give him enough attention .. like cooking him food and cleaning for him..but I was working 2 job for our company because he was not pulling his weight..
Sarah Elizabeth
September 5, 2015 at 1:33 am
Hey Chris! My situations a little different. I was seeing a guy for only 1 month. Halfway through he told me he ‘couldnt give me his all bc he’s not over another girl he can never have’ (that he’s never dated, she is happily engaged to his friend). We had prior plans a week later & followed through, it was the most amazing day/evening, we laughed, he was super affectionate, took me to dinner after, then took me to meet his parents & sister. He then took me aside, looked me in the eyes, apologized, explained he has a hard time believing he deserves love etc tends to push it away, & said he ‘wants to open up to me/be with me/it was huge that he intro’ed me to his family’ etc. The next couple days he contd to apologize & reinforce that he was in it with me. He then turned cold for a week & again text me saying he’s not over this girl & I should see other guys. We have so much in common & great chemistry. I really wanna reignite his interest. You might think it’s dumb, but what should I do? I think 21 days may be too long as the relationship was so short, I was thinking 14 days? Please help me out man :-/
Allie
September 4, 2015 at 10:33 pm
Hey Chris – Can you please write an article on what to do if your ex doesn’t reply to your initial text AFTER the no contact rule is up?
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:36 am
Hmm…
YES… I think that’s a worthy topic idea.
Kerry
September 4, 2015 at 8:47 pm
I just stumbled upon your website at the most opportune moment. I just recently, as of yesterday, went through a breakup with someone I have been off and on with for 7 months. It hasn’t been easy from the beginning. He lost his job and his apartment within this time frame. He is now employed but still can’t recover financially. Through this past 7 months we have become really close but little arguments have lead to bigger problems. He has told me that throughout all of this I was the “bright light” in his dark world and he knows he can always count on me.
This past month we have grown closer and moving towards the relationship pathway. We started kissing, holding hands, hugging, all the things that couples do. He finally told me he had “true feelings” for me and that I was the closest person in his life next to his family. Seeing were things were going and that path they were leading, I asked him if there was any other woman in his life. I wanted to be 100% sure before given him my heart.
This lead to the breakup. He is so mad, offended, and hurt that he no longer wants me in his life as anything more than a close friend. In fact, he told me he is going to go out on dates and maybe even get a girlfriend just to get over me. He told me yesterday, for the very first time, that he loved me and that he felt passionate about me, and that I was a good person. But he could never see us dating after today.
Do you think this system will work? I am confused about how someone can tell you they love you and break up with you all in an hour.
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:35 am
I definitely think the system can work for you!
I think there is more to the story though that you aren’t getting.
ZARA
September 4, 2015 at 3:32 pm
Hi. I’ve just read many of your articles. I’m very hurt, but I’ve been doing the NC for 3 days now.. I think I was the kind of girl who needs to give him 45 NC days. 🙁 But are you sure he will reach out to me? When we met he was all over me and we’ve been together for 2years. His love started fading the last half of a year. I am trying really hard, but he’s moving away in like 1month and I am scared that once he gets there, he won’t think about me anymore and that I will lose all chances of getting him back. He’s moving in with two of his boy friends. When we had problems in relationship, he always said that even if that’s it, that we have to break up, that he will always need me and that he wants to be a good friend of mine. But as he finally broke up with me 🙁 he lost his control and didn’t even talk to me anymore.
I have a big problem, next friday I’m going to see him, because we have that exam to write. I’ll be in NC for 10 days till then. Should I say anything to him? Or ignore him? I really don’t know what to do when I’ll see him again. I miss him. :/
MissT
September 4, 2015 at 5:29 am
Hi Chris, me and my ex broke up 9 months ago and recently he started texting me saying he misses me and that life is hard and difficult for him. I have finished no contact. I still love him and want him back but I dont want to come too obvious to him. So, when he texted saying he misses me I just said “thats nice, how have u been”. He replied back saying life has been harsh to him. And then I sent a memory text and then he responded positively. I want him to put more effort and tell me what he wants cos i dnt want him to string me along. What do u think I should text him for him to be comfortable and open up?
Thanks
Confused Christina
September 4, 2015 at 3:39 am
Hi, Chris.
I really need your help with my current problem and I really need your opinion.
I’ve known my long distance ex for 8 months and we’ve dated for 3 months before he decided to call it off a week ago. I’m currently on NC day 7. I’ll admit- I was slowly but surely becoming more “crazy” as the weeks went by because I became extremely desperate and clingy, getting mad when he didn’t respond like 5 mins to texts and calling him frequently, as well as getting jealous and angry over him telling me about other girls. We argued frequently in our LDR, and we broke up when I got super mad at him and yelled at him when I thought he was lying to me over some stupid thing. We called later that day and he said that he wants to stay apart. I said I was extremely sorry for my misbehavior and that I will definitely change from now on, but he told me that he already forgave me for what happened earlier and that this is because of other reasons.
1)He says he is very uncomfortable with our age gap- I am 17 and he is 20.
2)He would actually be graduating this winter and will be out looking for a full time job, saying that he won’t be able to give me the attention I want and that “I deserved better” and “someone that can hold me at night” instead of “just a voice as a boyfriend.”
3)He plans on joining the military shortly after graduation and I would be attending college.
4)He says he is very uncomfortable with the fact that I am still under 18 and that many of his friends and professors had told him he is riding very dangerous ground being romantically involved with a high school girl.
5)”It’s not you, it’s me.”
6)He says it’s unrealistic for us to stay together because he doesn’t want me to wait for him as I would go to college, still presumably far away from him, for years to come, and doesn’t want me to reject all the more realistic possibilities thrown at me just to wait for him for 6+ years.
7)I met him by chance when he was visiting my town once, but we both agreed that it would be a year from this current date before we could see each other again.
8)We live 2000 miles apart.
I guess my inquiries are mainly this.
1)Is my ex telling the truth that those are the legitimate reasons for breaking up, or is the real reason I was becoming too desperate and as a result lost my UG status?
2)What is your opinion on my situation and what should I do?
3)What is my chance of getting him back if I tried?
4)Should I really try to get him back, or is he right?
Thank you for your time if you respond.
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:34 am
1. In my experience no one tells you 100% of the truth
2. I think he is uncomfortable with the fact that you are young and he thinks you are immatture. Also, I think he is annoyed at the distance.
3. You just dated for 3 months. How often did you see him in person thourhgout these three months?
4. Its a decision you have to make on your own. Just know that it is going to take a commitment on your part.
Crystal
September 4, 2015 at 2:03 am
Hi Chris,
So my ex texted me asking for his sweatshirt back. Do you have any advice on what to do? Should I meet up with him? Can I use this opportunity to try to reignite the spark? Should I meet him at my place or his? How can I get him to stick around long enough to have a conversation in person if we meet up?
Chris Seiter
September 12, 2015 at 1:32 am
You will have to give it to him.
You have two options.
Drop it off at his house in a covered box and text him that you sent it or meet him in person.
If you meet him in person don’t let the conversation linger too long.
Katie
September 4, 2015 at 1:25 am
Chris,
I am on day one of my NC sabbatical. My guy and I went away on an OS holiday and then both had to go away for work, where I am very uncontactable. But I did get an email (unthinkable) just last night telling me that he just has’t got those feelings and he’d like to be friends. A big surprise as a month ago it was “I love you.” I wrote back saying I wass a bit shocked and good luck with some future things coming up. I’d usually make plans to get my things back but I’m going to take your advice and leave that alone for now.
I guess at this point I have absolutely nothing to lose by doing a 30 day NC, but it is his birthday in exactly one month and I have been working on something for him I’d like to give him. Will that totally ruin the 30 day thing? Can I leave this present for him at his house without seeing him, or on the month is it okay to see him?
Katie
Kim
September 3, 2015 at 9:20 pm
My boyfriend and I broke up almost one month ago this weekend. We broke up on the phone since we were living far away from each other for the summer and I have not spoken to him since. While we never specifically stated we wanted to break up permanently he did say he thought it best we don’t talk for a while. I want to respect his wishes and since he was the one that wanted to stop taking so he could work on himself and his job/new life I am wondering if I should still be the one to make first contact. I miss him but have no desire to be pushy and make things harder for him. He claimed that he no longer felt the connection between us but I think it’s still there we have just been going through some big changes in both of our lives, meaning we have to put more thought into our relationship now than we did when we first started dating. I’m not sure how to reach out without pushing him away or waiting too long.
Ashley
September 3, 2015 at 5:42 pm
Hi Chris..
I have a pretty unique situation. My ex and I were engaged and he called off our wedding a week prior to the wedding. We had lots of issues, but basically my fault was that he felt I never appreciated him and Made him feel he couldn’t keep me happy (he worked a lot and had a very difficult time making time for us) I realize that by complaining I pushed him away. he reached out to me with and told me all the things him and I need to work on and where we went wrong.. I have also realized that I never really truly gave him credit.. we basically fought due to these reasons.. I reached out to him and told him that I still loved him and wanted to fix us as.. But he tells me that he doesn’t know if he loves me anymore or not.. He has a lot going on work wise and is emotionally tanked.. when I asked would he want to work it out he said he would but just not now or doesn’t know when.. I promised myself that I wouldn’t contact him for 30 days.. I know we had something special and we almost got married due to stupid fights we both messed up something that could have been amazing.. I keep thinking maybe he fell out of love and there is nothing I can do…. I want us to get back together and fix our mistakes because both of us very much committed to our relationship we just didn’t know how to communicate.. Please help me..